The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"If you can't feel loved, settle for being needed" I just read that in Codependant no More. It spoke out a little to me. I remember, not too far into my marriage, wanting to soak up love like a sponge, and just not FEELING it. So I became a little desperate for him to feel pleased with me. I looked cute, kept the house clean, made good dinners. I began to anticipate his needs and cater to them. But he only became more indifferent. I remember crying to him, saying that he just didn't need me and him just wanting to leave the room. I think I get it. He shouldn't need me. He needs to be able to take care of himself and I need to take care of myself. Somebody needing you is not the equivalent of somebody loving you. Jamie
__________________
I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
There is another saying in spanish that says "La costumbre es may fuerte que el amor!" in translation it means............ "Custom is stonger than love!" I bet everyone here knows what I am talking about, sometimes people stay in a situation/relationships etc because it becomes custom/the norm and not because they are truly loved or happy!
__________________
Grant me the strenght to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference!
Cody No More helped me immensely in understanding myself and actually defining my needs. I'm so proud that you are working your program so hard. Take care of you!
with love cj
__________________
time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
I also believed that being needed meant being loved. My AH will say somedays, you don't need me and he feels unloved. The truth is I don't need him, anything that I ask for help on I could do myself and usually do end up doing it myself. I can choose to share myself with someone and just "be there" talking, sharing, and loving without having to feel "needed". It doesn't complete me and for so long I really thought that was my main purpose in relationships, to do for other's so that they'd love me. Thanks for sharing that with us today. Have a wonderful day.
Peace, Twinmom~
__________________
"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
