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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> someone please read. I am so lonely
Post Info TOPIC: someone please read. I am so lonely
hippietrippiechick


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someone please read. I am so lonely
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Monday, March 19, 2007

It is 9:07 p.m. and I have had another tired day. It seems that lately either because of exhaustion and trying to get over this surgery (maybe a combination of both) have made me so tired. I know that I am going thru a depression because of the major sudden change in My A & I's living arrangements and how he is now. I am worried about him. He is throwing his money away at some seedy dive that is basically a stop-in for prostitutes and drug dealers. I don't want him to get wrapped up in all that, or be exposed to it. I wish that he would do something about his drinking.

First and foremost, I am glad that I am healing up and a lot better than some do with this surgery. I can be up and around, but I am so damn tired all the time. I already know that since they started me on the Seroquel (same medicine I have been on but just different dosing )in the am and bedtime, it will cause daytime drowsiness for a while till my body gets used to it.

I am trying to get ready for bed. lots on my mind.

I am living all alone now, and I have to say at first the thoughts were like wow the chaos is gone. Maybe I miss the chaos. It was all I knew for 2 years. I guess it is hard to break habits or living behaviors. A close to me tell me that I am right where I am supposed to be.
The only thing my dad can say about my A's drinking is "well, that is just how he copes". I know my dad's dad (grandpa--still alive) drank, so did my mom who died in 1976. My uncle drank and my other uncle was a heroin addict who ended up moving to Mt. Shasta to be with the Moonies.
God, I can't believe I am discussing this much. It just comes out sometimes. I might mention that my only attachment in a family way must have been from what I saw and emotional stuff, because I was adopted.
The only thing I know about my "real mom" is that she was really messed up and spent a lot of times in and out of mental institutions. I don't know what else.
I have a paper I can send for my medical and possibly info on her, but its been months and I guess I am afraid and hesitant to find out anything.
Just wanted to check in.
Please respond someone. I am a bit of a state of confusion at the moment.



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This is HippieTrippieChick Signing Off Be blessed and have a wonderful day. Remember God loves you. PEACE
nmike


~*Service Worker*~

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hippietrippiechick,

Have you heard of H.A.L.T. in the Alanon literature. It helps us take care of ourselves. Are we
Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? If so, what can we do to change our behavior. Eat? Call a friend? Go find people to be with? It works. Sometimes other people can't be there for us. So we can always go to our HP. We are never truly alone.

In support,
Nancy

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Barbs45


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Hi there,

You really have been through a lot recently, and having surgery can take it out of you.

Sorry you're not feeling good at the moment, but you take good care of you!

Thinking of you,
Barbs.x

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Lunamoth


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Sending you many hugs and support.  It is difficult to have time on your hands and not be able to "get busy" because of your surgery.  It will be easier when you have healed and are able to do more.  I have found that it helps me when I am working on a task or project, I'm able to fill my mind with what I'm doing and not over think the other things going on in my life.  

For today, concentrate of healing, pay attention to what your body is telling you.  Rest.  

I remember when I realized how much free time I had once my A was not in the immediate picture.  I was in a lot of pain.  I felt lost.  What I came to realize was the true amount of time I had given to focusing on him, his life, etc.  and I didn't know what to do with myself now that I had all this free time.  It is an adjustment.  One thing that I remember saying was that I felt like I needed to "get a life."  I was kindly reminded that I had one, I just needed to live it.  As you heal I hope you will find this extra time on your hands a wonderful blessing.  You are on a journey of discovery.  It's all about you.

(((((Lots of hugs to you))))

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Rita G


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Praying that today will be a better day for you - that you can do something today that is healthy and pampering that is just for YOU.


Rita


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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK - teamwork.gif
Fifi


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Hi there
Just wanted to let you know I send love and peace your way....try and slow your mind down...let everything just BE. Notice the sun, the sky. Know that life continues all around us at every moment and we will all be ok, however that is. I like to think of a greater power...rather than higher...because I feel it holding me all around...pervasive in all life...beautiful. Sometimes when I feel confused I stop to start my day over.....sometimes in a day it could be 50 times! But each tiny moment feels better if only for that moment....one step at a time. Good luck to you. Know you are not alone.
Love fifi

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