The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH is sitting in jail and still can't tell me the truth. He told me he was arrested for parafinalia.......well, as it turns out, he was arrested for possession of narcotics. DUH!! I knew it. I just knew it. His step dad told me it was not my place to worry about how to handle him any more. It is up to them-him, his mom, his grandma.....not me.
They (my in-laws) say they support me in my decision to leave my AH....but some how I feel like they blame me for his downfall. They don't come right out and say it....it is more the way they say the things they do say that are meant to be supportive. I can't explain it.
Anyway, his stepdad is going to talk to the majestrate this morning and see if they will agree to a court appointed rehab. He goes to rehab or sits in jail. We all believe that as soon as he is out of jail, in his current state, that he will run. Totally leave the state and never come back. I believe that with all of my heart. So we cannot bail him out. Well, I am not going to anyway. But his family can't and won't bail him out either. They are going to try to force him into recover. I say it is worth a try - Good Luck With That! Let Me Know How It Goes!
That is that! Thanks for listening and for all of the wonderful advice. Y'all are great. Sincerely, QOD
who cares what they think. They haven't lived it. My Dad was so mad when I left my AH that he didn't speak to me for months, and the only reason he started was because he was worried about my Mom. He thought m husband was the best thing that ever happened to me, because he didn't see the drunk that I did every day.
His family on the other hand knew him and said "throw him out" a year bafore I left.
Letting go isn't easy but, we have to stay healthy for ourselves and our kids.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
What a tough time. You have my sympathy. I can empathise. The As mother in particular lives in denial. She can have it. I no longer try to bring her out of it.
I think you are doing amazing. In both of your posts about this you seem so strong. Good for you! I can completely relate to what you describe about your in-laws. I really like the saying, "What other people think of me is none of my business". It is hard for me to apply to myself, but I am trying.
Stay strong, keep the focus on you and take good care of yourself!
I hope his family doesn't enable him. I remember a time when I threw dh out and then his dad and step mom turns around and gives him money so he can rent a hotel to stay in. OMG I was so mad. I swear he would have become sober sooner if everyone would have just listened to me and stopped doing for him. I'm sure he would even agree. Take care of yourself hun. I'm sorry your dealing with this. I'm sorry we are all dealing with alcoholism. It should be illegal if you ask me. No good comes from it. (sorry, venting. lol)
Just wanted to say I hate that the disease is so rampant in the man you love. Will continue to keep you in my prayers - for strength to do the necessary things you have to do, prayer for his recovery and also comfort for the kids.
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
One of the things I've come to see about "blame" is the word "am" within it. Who "am" I within the "game" (see? another "am" in there!)? What "am" I to this person? To these people? Be true to yourself. Remember, the only "game" here is the one that, ultimately, has caught your loved one to where he is. You don't have to play it anymore, if you don't want to.
I'm sorry you are going thru this. I just tried not to think about it and the more time went by the easier it got. It's hard to watch someone destroy themselves! Whenever u feel bad just think to yourself maybe this will be the thing it takes for him to see the light... That always makes me feel a little better.
