Hi Carol,

My first husband and I got a divorce many years ago. He never had contact with the children. When my daughter turned of age she wanted to find him. Her brother did from the internet. He was in the VA hospital with cancer. My daughter did not know him. But took it on her self to have him sent here to a VA hospital in Chicago. They found him in Florida. He still had the desire to drink and did when he left hospital on weekends to visit daughter. Doctors did not give him much time. My daughter turned to me did not know what to do. His family were as you explained in your post. I called them told them he had cancer and what the doc said. Now they had the information. It was up to them to take the next move or not. Daughter arranged the funeral and visited him daily. with three children of her own. She had support from family here and friends. This was something her heart led her to do. His family came from out of state during the funeral. Did not help her in anyway with the finances of the funeral. Now I of course had many resentments from the past with abandonment and other issues with first husband and his family . But he was a dying man. I went to my meetings as well and found I can support my daughters choice .His family did not arrive until he died, but had enough time to get here. There choices delayed them. They came and left and my daughters life, moved forward. She received a prayer answered to find her father. She has contact with a cousin. So to conclude my share, my daughter followed her heart, and took the steps to notify the family. Without expectations. Just doing what she thought was right. Follow your heart is my suggestion. For we live on and feeling good with the choices we choose ,stays with us my friend. Praying for you and yours. Thank you for reading. Love Sharon/angel