The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Because you're realizing that nothing's changing. As you change the way you look at things you're also realizing that you're doing the changing and not necessarily any one else. It's an extremely painful realization and a very humbling one. This is where the Melody Beattie reading about people in recovery vs people who are not comes in: as we gain deeper prospectives on our life, on ourselves, on our past, it becomes significant that we not force others on to our path (oops!). It also becomes significant that we realize that each person needs to have a life of their own with dignity (cue "To Dream The Impossible Dream," Man of la Mancha). We may never be able to reconsile ourselves with the insanity and idiosyncracies of others; but because we are not God, we are relieved of this job. Furthermore, because others may never see the world as we do (no matter if it is Capital T "truth") we need to reconsile ourselves to the reality that they are in the care of a higher power that is not us and is more infinite than alcholism. It's extremely painful and to say the least I'm simplifying it to a patronizing, if not condecending level. Feeling each emotion in it's entirety is compltely your priviledge. I encourage you whole heartedly to do so and to share with us in your journey.
My A b/f goes to court today too. He wanted me to go, but the two people I work with that would cover for me, both are out. One to a doctor's appt for migraines and the other to a funeral for a friend's father. In addition, my plumbing is sooo backed up that I am trying to coordinate that from work. Is my higher power trying to tell me something or what!!! I haven't called the attorney's office to find out what happened. I figure I will get the call when I am supposed to (he is trying to get out early today).
Carolinagirl, let me know if you need any help with the lyrics, because I'm with you!
