The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This has been happening for over 30 years. The playing field has been leveled and to some degree the players are all equal. Although It seemed confusing to me regarding the first case I ever read about, later after further review I found that the exwife supporting the exhusband with alimony was fair and honest and just. It didn't happen that way with me of course cause I come from the era where men were "most than" before the divorce and "less than" after it. My experience only. Informative post.
How do you 'allow your spouse' to stay home. Better yet how do you compel them to work.
I'll tell you this, my A was compelled to work when I no longer gave her money because she spent it on booze and cigarettes.
More than one lawyer told me that it could be considered abusive to not give my spouse any money or support even if she wasn't working. I asked, I have food in the house, she has a roof, she had medical coverage. I just refuse to fund her addictions. That he said was allowed.
Like anything else, widsom to know the difference. Problem is that sometimes the HP at least temporarily is human with the same feelings, emotions, baggage and perceptions that cloud any humans perception and they make the decisions.
I've argued with my A for years for free-loading off me. That didn't compel her to work. The law seems to make it sound like we have an element of control, when how much does one really have?
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)