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Alberta Cowboy
(Preview)
Hello,
I am just wondering how you are doing. Did your situation with your wife resolve itself? I hope things are going well for you. I have been thinking of you. your friend in recovery, cdb :)
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cdb
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4
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750
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Letting Go Without God
(Preview)
"Let go, let God" is often said in Al-Anon. I'm not religious, and don't believe in anything even remotely like God, but I realized something about that saying that lets me get past the G word.
The idea behind "Let go, let God" is that the more I try to control situations myself, and the more I try to ta...
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Joat
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7
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1971
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Welcome back sun!
(Preview)
Morning everyone,
It is amazing how the weather can change the way we feel.
It is another pretty day here in NJ. Its about time after so many weeks of rain or snow and gloom!
It felt so good to open the windows and only wear a sweatshirt to work this morning. If it warms up even more, I will keep the babi...
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Jeannie
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1
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741
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Meeting on VOTE for hugs, etc.??
(Preview)
Is there a general meeting again this Wednesday? And will the discussion and VOTE come up over if we can continue to give hugs, smiles, agrees, etc. during meetings? I got the impression that issue was tabled at the last meeting meaning left for the next meeting to be resolv...
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cdb
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17
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1145
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Newbie with a long vent
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I am new to posting, but have been reading the forum for some time. My husband and I have been married for nearly 24 years. I have just recently asked him for a divorce and feel terribly guilty over the entire situation. I have concluded I no longer love him and do n...
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katie
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6
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893
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Talk with a recovering A (very long)
(Preview)
Hi,
One of the things I enjoy at my job is the old timers I work with. Some of our drivers are older retired men from everything from the military to Wall Street. They all now drive a school bus as a way of making extra cash and keeping themselves busy. They also love to talk and tell stories, and I usually e...
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Jeannie
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3
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986
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Power and Control in relationships
(Preview)
Is there any readings you can recommend on this subject?
this is exactly what is going on in my marriage.
It is even more powerfully important than the booze I think to my husband
My husband has again quit drinking and I really think it is because I started spending nights at the local h...
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megan
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3
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958
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Talk with my husband
(Preview)
Hi,
Not feeling very proud of myself tonight. Boy did I take 100 steps backwards!
I went to have the talk with my husband, it started out well enough, and then spiraled out of control.
I had myself very calm, knew just what to say, and he was sober and at the begining friendly enough, then he just tur...
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Jeannie
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13
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1556
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new friend is newly sober......
(Preview)
Hi i met a man three weeks ago that is 5 months sober. He goes to aa meetings.We are just starting to "date",build a friendship. Is there anything i can do to encourage or help him in his recovery??My moms been in the program 27 years (aa).dads still a drinking alcoholic so i'm not new to any of this. Just...
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chris
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4
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927
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Pushing buttons
(Preview)
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the knowledge to know the difference.
It is my Ah's Birthday and he just got home right lit up, just another day in the life of Stacey!!! Any excuse to go out and it could be absolutly nothing!!!
We...
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jj
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11
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1586
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CHANGING OUR FOCUS
(Preview)
What we dont do is spend alot of time talkign about the alcholic. Instead, we learn to put the focus on ourselves. At first this approach may not seem to make much sense. After all,,it is often easier to recognize the A's problems than our own. Most of us feel certain that if only he or she would stop drinki...
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gardengal
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4
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813
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a tribute
(Preview)
    &nbs...
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dori
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6
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720
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What is the agenda for wednesday's meeting?
(Preview)
Hello again,,,
I really just want to know if there is a general meeting this Wednesday (which I assume there is) , what time it is and what the agenda is. Will there still be a discussion or vote on etiquette at meetings? That is all I want to know. TY cdb
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cdb
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2
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651
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Counceling
(Preview)
Hi,
I have a curiouse streak in me so I had to do a little research today.
I am a little aprehensive about this marriage counciling my husband wants me to go to. First of all, he says he is going to pick the councilor, because he says he doesn't want me turning one against him before we start. He says he wa...
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Jeannie
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5
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1020
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BUS MTG AGENDA - APRIL 6/05
(Preview)
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shimo
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0
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789
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Why They Drink?
(Preview)
There is a post on the AA message board under "Positively Negative" as to why the alcoholic drinks. Also, while you're there--there's another excellent post "Anger".
Just recently attendend an Open AA speaker meeting. The speaker said alcohol was a rocket for him, a feel rea...
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wallsal55
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4
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981
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going through, not around
(Preview)
Hi all,
I recently had a very spiritual experience and lesson with going through my feelings with a friend instead of around and want to share it here.
I have a very dear friend in program with whom I spend a lot of time with. We just "get" each other and have great talks, laughs, etc. Anyhow, last...
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jessi
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5
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794
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me again
(Preview)
Sorry, I haven't posted for awhile. I have to key this quickly as my laptop has been shutting down on me unpredictably. My A was in the hospital with his emphysema in December; then again in January; and again in February. He isn't doing very well w the emphysema--on oxygen--and ca...
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Annie
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5
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911
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New Member in Need of Encouragement
(Preview)
Hello to everyone here -
I am glad to have finally been able to tap into the support and encouragement offered by Al-Anon via a message board. I don't have an Al-Anon group that is close to my home, so I am looking in this area for some guidance, support and encouragement.
I am familiar with the 12 step...
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Mad4stevie
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10
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904
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confused
(Preview)
So I had my dental surgery and made it through it fine. I am very sore as it was pretty invasive and I must say my husband has been home everynight keeping an eye on me. Tonight after work he went out which I had expected and I am fine with, however he brought home a friend and they are currently passed out on my...
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jj
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11
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1013
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HUGS for Garden Gal !
(Preview)
YOU DID IT !
I'm so proud of you ! You DID it ...I am so glad this part is done and only sorry to see you must endure one more ordeal
This happened to me to ...007 spewed lie after lie ...I was feeling so scared and desperate ...I needed the support to survive ... I was so...
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fiona123
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3
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638
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away too long
(Preview)
I have not been to a alanon meeting for a few years and I am struggling with issues I am having with a family member. I have not had a relationship with him in almost 10 years and do not want to have a relationship with him but the a in my life has a relationship with him and wants me to have a relati...
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jb
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2
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632
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Step Board
(Preview)
Hi all - Step Ten is posted on the Step Board. How about some of you sharing how Step Ten works in your life.
We need your support.
Love in Recovery - Dot
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dot
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0
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653
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How involved in recovery?
(Preview)
I'm so confused. My A, husband, is being discharged from his "detox" hospital tomorrow after more thant 2 weeks there. He has an appointment first thing Monday to a "rehab" hospital, where they will decide what kind of program he needs - inpatient, outpatient, partial treatment, what...
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missyg
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7
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900
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Attention
(Preview)
Hi,
My husbands paycheck goes into our joint checking by direct deposit. I then transfer it to an account in my name only that he has no access to.
His father had spoken to me and said that he worries about the bills, so while he is with them, at least for now, I should take the whole pay, they will give hi...
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Jeannie
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8
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1285
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getting better and worse
(Preview)
I would really appreciate some experience, strength and hope.
My husband, the a, got his first DUI on Mon night. He was on his way to get a job in a different state 9 hours away. Well, he can't now, cause he has no license. He has to go back to where he got arrested next Wed to appear in c...
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cah
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10
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1210
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religious references at meetings
(Preview)
It feels wrong to sit through a meeting and hear Happy Easter repeated throughout the meeting. It makes me feel as if AlAnon is aligned with one religion. I know it's not. I want newcomers to know everyone is welcome, including people who do not celebrate Easter.
I can't tell if I'm borrowing distres...
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Jill
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8
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1151
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something I think about....
(Preview)
There's a 8 ounce glass with 4 ounces of water, how do you see it?
1/2 full (hope for tomorrow)
or
1/2 empty (depressed from yesterday)
or
just what you need, no more, no less, but with plenty of room for those rocky moments so you don't spill any! I onl...
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De Anna
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2
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728
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can anyone help in changing name
(Preview)
I've made the mistake in leaving my post board open, so my nickname is known. I've tried to re-register in a new name, but it won't let me. It states that the email address is already in use. Can anyone help me, I know I'll be starting over but I really want the privacy of a new name, with...
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babs
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2
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896
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Attention cdb
(Preview)
I got your message and responded to you from work but don't have your email here, please send me another message with it I really need to talk with you.
Fondly
Hockeydal
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hockeydal
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4
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876
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Alone again
(Preview)
Hello friends,
Haven't been around here in a bit. My life has been put on hold it seems. My husband - I think that is what he is, has basically left us. He came home from treatment for 2 days after lying about when he was getting out and after the 2 days left and moved into his mom...
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hockeydal
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5
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737
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Just thoughts
(Preview)
I was thinking that when I don't feel good, that is when I get a glimpse of the resentment and anger inside.
Want to call the A and say why don't you come out here and finish the job I payed you to do.When I feel good I would not do that. I would know it is the disease keeping him from doing what he says he will do...
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debilyn
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8
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742
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The Big Move
(Preview)
Hey everyone
Just a wee update on situation at home. Big changes ahead, future uncertain, but thats OK with me. Our beautiful family home in 'Green Bay' (Yes its as lovely as it sounds) has sold and the new owners cant wait to move in next Friday grrrrrr.
A i...
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Ava
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3
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934
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My Story / my being sick
(Preview)
Hi, One version of my story is under jfoy's post--if you care to read it.
A month ago, I sat down with a wonderful alanon friend and told her my woman to woman, heart to heart stuff. Let me tell you, I knew that my head had it, but my heart didn't for a long,long time. Then...
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wallsal55
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3
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794
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self-care tools
(Preview)
Self care tools 2 live by
At meeting this morning related to the topic of making decisions and also the mention of serenity prayer as a guide
it is a tremendous tool 4 making decisions and clarifying what is mine and what belongs to someone else,
it helps me a lot. At times, I don’t feel I have the w...
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luv123
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3
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739
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LEARNING STEP ONE
(Preview)
I haven't posted here in a while. I am doing very good since the last time I posted. My husband is now sober for over 56 days. I have gotten a sponsor. The thing that I am having a problem is control, it is a major problem. I am having a hard time with it. My husband is trying to get more indpendence to get better...
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nycbt
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3
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864
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want privacy?
(Preview)
Hey to all
I didn't realize that if you don't "LOG OUT", anyone who comes after you can then click onto the web site, & into your posts & personal page. They also would know your nickname because it says it as "LOGGED IN AS.......--"
If you haven't been logging out, change your passwo...
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babs
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0
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771
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How Do You Be Nice?
(Preview)
Hey friends...(the few of you whose names i even recognize anymore, plus all the newcomers!)
I am getting a crash course education in "no expectations" the last 2 weeks. but i'm not "responding" all too well. i'm reacting, and very hurt and very angry.
my A husband got his first drun...
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search41
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15
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1016
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alcoholism the family disease
(Preview)
I wanted to say that I am so thankful for this website and for all of your sharings. Like all have known I am seperated from my A and I love him dearly. He is in his very last stage of his disease and living with his parents. My son who loves his dad is visiting over Easter break and my a just...
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joeygirl
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3
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877
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Children's visiting their father
(Preview)
Hello, I am new here, and I am looking for some advice. After 15 years, I bit the bullet and separated from my A. a year and a half ago. He jumped right into another relationship with a girl 17years his junior. For the last year or so, he has been kinda calling me up every once in a w...
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freckles
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6
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1143
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not sure what to do
(Preview)
My husband, an alcoholic, has decided that he needs to leave, and go work in TX (where he is from and is about 8-10 hours away).
When we first discussed it, I got knots in my stomach, because of the uncertainty of it and the fear of change (he has been out of work for 2 years now, and has been pretty consis...
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cah
|
5
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816
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big book? vs companion big book
(Preview)
Hi,
anyone know the difference? I was encouraged to read "The big book" but I also see "The big book, the companion for AA".
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babs
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2
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647
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Literature
(Preview)
I have checked out more books that I reccommend for others to read. If you want to know what books just ask.
Lanchas
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Lanchas
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2
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607
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Alanon Meeting Literature?
(Preview)
Can anyone help? We have a very small Alanon Family Group in a rural area. We are missing some of the guidelines for leading a meeting. At other meetings, I know that they have the sheets to follow such as the "Alanon Preamble", meeting topics, suggested closing, suggested prayers, etc. Where can I get...
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nmike
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2
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815
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Megan
(Preview)
Hi, hon it depends on the amount the truck is when you buy it and who
finances it for you.
Be careful, have a knowledgeable man or woman with you when
you look for one.
I love my older truck.
I hope you find the vehicle ya need. You can check out the best
ones on the net.
love,debilyn
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debilyn
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3
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772
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NEW LISTENER
(Preview)
In the past I've mostly just read other people's posts, but since my A has decided to make some major changes in his life, I decided I should probably do the same. After ten years together, five married, I've watched him spend the majority of him time drinking, smoking pot, doing coke, and abusin...
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missyg
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4
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785
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dear richard
(Preview)
? No you silly, it is only they way you took it. I honestly did not
understand what you were saying. I still don't. I thought maybe
you accidently got me mixed up with some one else.
You started the post with "Gretchen" for petes sake.
I don't do sharp retorts, is not my style at all. I have told yo...
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debilyn
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1
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704
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still in the process of recovery
(Preview)
Hi,
Do you remember me??
It has been a long time, since I have posted on this message board. I had the hardest time to
find the message board again, and especially to register under the name I had used before.
I saw John's name, and I knew that I was back to the message board I knew so w...
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teddybear
|
12
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1264
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Hockeydal,,,,,
(Preview)
Hello Hockedal,
If you are around, please let me know how you are doing? I think of you often and am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. cdb
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cdb
|
1
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693
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|
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Powerful Meeting & Weekend
(Preview)
My meeting was tonight and I was so looking forward to it as we had a AA speaker tonight and knew I needed to here what this person had to say. I never in a million years figured it would affect me so deeply or touch so many things in ME. I saw me in this speaker as a young teen, and it scared me. I also got so...
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jj
|
1
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783
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|
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Here I am again!
(Preview)
Thanks for all who responded so far. Wanted to tell you-I find myself drawn back to the computer, back to this website. I called my mom today, shared with her some insights you have given. She says she is proud of me, and she knew all along. Huh... She says she understands, and that my father spent most of h...
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2cats2kids
|
2
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841
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Treat yourself like a dog!
(Preview)
I'm a dog owner, (like cats too). My vet tells me when you pet, play, walk your dog, that something occurs. When they are paid attention, endorphins (a good hormonal chemical) is released. Once released, they can't help but feel better.
Another thing I read in ODAT May3r...
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babs
|
4
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832
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Very new here but glad I found it.
(Preview)
After so much time living alone with my problem, I found you on the internet. I have been reading posts most of the morning. I feel a little better already-did not realize there were so many others like myself.
My husband and I are in our mid-30's, with two teen girls living at home. We have been married...
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2cats2kids
|
11
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1038
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How do i let go?
(Preview)
Hello,
I am very new to all of this and am hoping to get some insight and help.
My daughter 22yr old hs been clean and sober for 6mths- she was living in sober living and doing very well.
Recently she got her own apartment(she works and has a great job)
we have been very proud of her. Now i find...
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worriedmom
|
5
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1016
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Soul Soup
(Preview)
I found these two poems in a magazine. I really like them and thought I would share.
I think even the harshest truths, when broken down, have the ability to inspire, motivate and change lives for the better.
It's in the in-between that the real magic happens. The se...
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dogscribe
|
2
|
817
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Its all in my preception
(Preview)
I just wanted to write on this today, to clear my head. I have to constantly let myself know that the only thing that gives me pain, so my preception. And I sure know how to do that, when I get into my dis ease. I have just finished a 2 year project and it will be sent to the printers w...
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kb
|
4
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843
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Haven't heard from wife
(Preview)
I haven't heard from my wife since last Sat morning. She was to go into a treatment facility for 2 or 3 week program.
Is it normal that once in the program they don't allow you to contact outside friends and family? No one has heard from her, not myself, her children, or her best frie...
|
AlbertaCowboy
|
5
|
920
|
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hubby upset about daughter
(Preview)
Hello friends,
My alcoholic 20 year old daughter has been in an inpatient treatment center for 2 months now. She is being transitioned into her new apartment by the treatment center this week. She stays at her apartment one night and then the center the next night,,etc.
Yesterday, she had...
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cdb
|
19
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925
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Thank you to "How do you be nice?"
(Preview)
man! i am so thrilled at all the support i received in all of your posts! thank you all soo much.
first, i HAVE checked our local meetings, and they frown on children, at least children my son's age(6), being in meetings,and to be honest, i don't want him sitting in these meetings hearing...
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search41
|
4
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698
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"coming out"
(Preview)
Okay I was ready to talk. I was tired of the secret.
i went to the NYC car show with my family yesterday and I told them about my husbands alcoholism.
And alanon. And how I was working on myself.
they said that my brother was an alcoholic and they blamed his wife - nice.
Then I explained t...
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megan
|
6
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740
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