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Im ready to give up "feeling like a martyr"
(Preview)
depression is getting me nowhere. I no longer want to feel like a martyr. Thanks everyone for opening my eyes. I think Im finally starting to "get it"! Midday today I took a look at a bookmark someone gave me last wk "Just for Today" and you know if I act like Im happy, maybe I'll be happy. Cant hurt to try. Th...
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Barbara
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9
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1713
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Just how simple....
(Preview)
~Courage To Change Oct 11~
Do I find that I constantly analyze things to avoid making decisions?"
- Yikes, how do they know that??? I am responsible for my own misery, and my own happiness.
If I find that the stove is too hot, I won't analyze the heat, I shall not touch it.
If I like the tempe...
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captcodee
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9
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962
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this week I set goals for myself
(Preview)
I accomplished alot this weekend and felt the need to set some goals for myself this week. Since I do not have a lot of hobbies (well, actually none at all) and not alot of friends to do things with I felt like I needed of course to focus more on me than feeling like that (ya think?). I decided to...
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Kim
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3
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706
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how do you let go of the Anger?
(Preview)
I wake up most days now ANGRY. How do I let go of this Anger? I find myself taking it out on everyone except my alcoholic husband. He I try ignoring. Well not really - its eating me up inside. But Im exploding at my son, exploding at work.
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Barbara
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3
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1066
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Living for me is way over due...
(Preview)
Hello All~
I've really been trying to grasp the "Let Go Let God" concept. For so long I have tried to control everything in my life, but I'm recognizing now that I cannot control anything beyond myself. My challenge this week has been my children. They're two and going through so...
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twinmom2
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6
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757
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desperate
(Preview)
Hi my name is Anne. I feel as if I am dying inside. I have not been to an al-anon meeting in town. they are all at 7 pm at night and I have two small children that struggle with school enough with out mommy being gone.
My husband right now is in detox for the second time in 4 months. I believe he is killing him se...
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Anne
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15
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820
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tomarow is the day
(Preview)
tomorrow is the day that my a is going to a concert with his drinking/drugging friends. my a said he will be designated driver and will not drink nor do drugs tomorrow. i do have fears this is just another binge. but for myself i have already made plans to go shopping with my bff and have a girls night. who kn...
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notsonew1111
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7
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892
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doing better
(Preview)
I have talk to my sponsor and she has told me that I am doing better. I can actually feel the progress of my strength. I am not giving in as of yet. He is getting nervous because he is losing control. I have been told since he is losing control he is going to be getting worse. So I should prepare myself. I am goin...
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nycbt
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5
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796
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Here I go again
(Preview)
Well, My a came home last night and said he had started using again. I kinda figured he had because you can always tell--you know that definite attitude change. He has been using for a week. I had tried to be calm all last week, even though I could feel that he was probably messing up-I didn't...
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hudsond
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4
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830
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Leaning on HP
(Preview)
Roomies,
I've really been struggling with the whole concept of turning things over to God. It seems I'm afraid that if I do that I won't be able to micro-manage, control, and monitor the situation. LOL. But, seriously, giving up control is scary. I realized last week that while turning it ove...
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BlueCloud
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6
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847
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I Don't Live There Anymore
(Preview)
I have been through too many tumultuous relationships in the past several years. My relationship before the last one was lasted for two years. It lasted two years because I did all the work, so there really wasn't a relationship. I remember him always showing up late(up to 2 hrs late) when we had plans....
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kissers
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5
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888
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Great website
(Preview)
Hi All!
I found this website yesterday, so I thought I would share it with all of you....(especially Lauren Ashley)
http://www.teras-wish.com/index.htm
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kissers
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2
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813
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here we go again
(Preview)
well it's Tuesday night, this is usually one of my good night, cause my husband usually doesn't get drunk on mondays or tuesdays. but lo and behold here we go again. again he called to say it was someone else's fault, they dragged him to the bar.. thing is we have NO money, like nothing. i gavehim our last b...
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Scottishgirl
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6
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756
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doing what is in front of me to do
(Preview)
It has been "one of those weeks" at work. When I got into the office and checked my email on Monday, I assembled a list of things my manager had sent my way that I thought would be reasonable to accomplish this week. But as usual, on Tuesday, he slipped something another report he needed in. And on Wednes...
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hopefortoday
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1
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826
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language of letting go......victim trap
(Preview)
The Victim Trap
The belief that life has to be hard and difficult in the belief that makes a martyr.We can change our negative beliefs about life, and whether we have the power to stop our pain and take care of ourselves.We aren't helpless. We can solve our problems. We do have power - not to change or...
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rosie light shines
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0
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930
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Love never gives up,never loses faith,and is always hopeful,and endures
(Preview)
I just thought I'd share this..I received it in an email..and like it..hope u do too enjoy...
I've never made a fortune, and it's probably too late now. But I don't worry about that much, I'm happy anyhow And as I go along life's way, I'm reaping better than I sowed. I'm drinking from...
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Lauren ashley
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4
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1014
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HOW TO MOVE FORWARD.........
(Preview)
Here are some thoughts I have to inspire you to keep moving forward. But nothing is going to ring more true than your own carefully chosen words. So think about where you want to go---physically, spiritually, mentally------your "choice". Once you've decided, write it down and now you have a simple a...
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gardengal
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4
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830
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the science of God, the Divine Plan
(Preview)
Molecularly science tells us, we are all the same. The same molecules that make up the table & chair, are also the tree, the universe & a human being - just in different "arrangements". 
They say we are made in God's image: I believe this to mean that we have the power...
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kitty
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4
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946
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Need guidance
(Preview)
I have had something troubling me for a month and am at my wits end.
Been doing every bit of footwork I can find.
I have been hear a lot of years so i am sure many know me pretty well since am such a blabber mouth, open person.
It is personal so if you are willing to problem solve with me, I really
...
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debilyn
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3
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767
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why is it easier to work on our physical self rather than our emotional self?
(Preview)
Is either less important than the other? I feel that letting people know that youre taking care of your physical self is more accepted than taking are of your emotional self. How can we make that other part just as important?
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Barbara
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3
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1154
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Hope
(Preview)
When I came to Al-Anon I had no peace in my life. My faith was hidden from me. My love was a slowly dying ember hidden under the ashes of my life. What did I have left? I entered the chat room here that first day and told my story, how I was so miserable, on the verge of a divorce, didn...
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kismetstrand
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6
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937
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I can't take this...
(Preview)
xxxx...im pissed off right now..I told my gpa if he can take me to an alanon meeting..and he bitched saying do i have to go everyday I told them how much it meant to me...Without it I have nothing..bc my grandparents don't understand they are too old,and already set in their ways I am actually crying rig...
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Lauren ashley
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7
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816
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why since its THEM being assholes is it US being punished
(Preview)
and having to do all this crap?
They're drinking is THEIR problem. Why cant THEY get help and not come back to us until THEY'RE better? why is it US having to go get help? WE're already being punished living with this crap why arent THEY doing something about it and getting help?
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Barbara
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12
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838
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I am new and I have so much to learn
(Preview)
This is hard for me,to admit I am failing and that this relationship that I tried to save is not good for me or him. My boyfriend is an alcoholic. I guess I learned this behavior because my mother is also an alcoholic and my father tries to control her, me and everyone else he knows. He has joined the program...
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Evilynn
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10
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1051
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Re: UncleLou are you Okay?
(Preview)
Thank you all for your support and empathy while I'm going through this. I really was at a point where I didn't care if I lived or not, but not at the point of considering taking my own life. I know these feelings will pass.
One thing I heard about us alcoholics; our emotional development stops about the...
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UncleLou
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10
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1353
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I used to do everything with him
(Preview)
When I first meet my husband 6 yrs ago I did everything with him. I really didn't go any where didn't have any girlfriends at all. Only really had too guy friends and that was really it. Then this year I went to an Alanon online meeting and started to chat with my now best friend and we were seeing that we were...
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nycbt
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3
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829
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Logging my calls
(Preview)
Yesterday I have started to do a log on how many times I am calling my husband. I wanted to call him 8 times and I end up calling him 4 of those times. When I logged all the times and the reason I was like wow that is alot of times. However I am proud fo my self for only calling him 4 so I cut down on the calls by half. O...
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nycbt
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3
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690
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I am stronger
(Preview)
Yesterday my husband has asked me about taking the car so he could go to the srap yaurd. I said no so he punished me. His son had to go to somewhere and my husband didn't want to take the ride but it is his grown son and the neighborhood isn't the nicest so he came. But he punish me the whole time. He started to ar...
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nycbt
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3
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748
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Telling him about the lawyer visit
(Preview)
First, I would like to thnak you all for your posts. I had decided while I was in the attorney's office that I would give it unitl after the holidays to say anything. I had also mentioned it in conversations with my A, that maybe we should consider a formal separation he said to me:
"if you d...
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Kim
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2
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686
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Its time to kick his ass out!
(Preview)
another sick day! and he's planning on taking Thurs too because of a doctor apt!
what a lazy ass - how do i go about finding a lawyer? and in MA do they get 50/50? cos thats the only thing holding me back! why should get 50% of my retirement?
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Barbara
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5
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893
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AA thought.....God DOES have me covered
(Preview)
A.A. Thought for the Day
I am less sensitive and my feelings are less easily hurt. I no longer take myself so seriously. It didn't used to take much to insult me, to feel that I had been slighted or left on the outside. What happens to me now is not so important. One cause of our drinking was that we could...
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rosie light shines
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0
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826
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ENERGY VAMPIRES
(Preview)
 Hi Friends,
During Hurricane Wilma I was forced to listen to radio (snortle) and happened upon a show about people who suck the living daylights out of you and why. Thought this missive would be something you might find valuable to think about and add to your...
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Lani
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6
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780
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"God guide me in my recovery"
(Preview)
November 15 Letting Go
"Take my will and my life. Guide me in my recovery. Show me how to live."Basic Text p. 25
How do we begin the process of letting our Higher Power guide our lives? When we seek advice about situations that trouble us, we often find that our Higher Power works through others. Wh...
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rosie light shines
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0
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610
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Here, On-line...
(Preview)
Here, On-line, we are lucky if we see a face
But ultimately know, we are in the right place
Here, we offer each other love and support
Even if we have nothing to share or report
Here, On-line, in this global, universal web
A Guiding Voice is heard; our prayers are said
Here, we learn...
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Satori
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11
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919
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i wish life would STOP kicking my butt
(Preview)
Hope for Today - November 15
When I heard "Let Go and Let God" for the first time, it didn't make sense to me. Let go of what? And let God do what? The little I did understand was the futility of my efforts to try to control other people, places, and things. Al-Anon told me I could turn m...
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rosie light shines
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0
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788
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The Power of a F2F meeting
(Preview)
Last night I went to a meeting....it isn't my homegroup, but it is a good group of people w/a very serious meeting.
I was the last to read/speak. It was so enlightening to sit and listen to people. When it came time for my turn, I asked if it was okay if I skipped a reading and commented on the readings be...
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sg
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5
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960
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Effective Immediately....
(Preview)
Another great email I received from a friend in recovery....Hope you enjoy the share.
Ten Guidelines from God... Effective Immediately, Please be aware that there are changes YOU need to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill My promises to you to...
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Satori
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4
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977
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amanda's religion class
(Preview)
tonight amanda was in religion and they made her make a god bowl out of clay. they told her that it was hers to ask god to help her with her needs. just like the god bad or box that we use here. they also told her that she had to forgive herself before she can forgive someone e...
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chrissy
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4
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645
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new job:)
(Preview)
we'll i am starting my job today and i am leaving now. i just wanted to thank my friends here, for all your love and support i will not be able to be on in the day:( but i will be on at night:)
so i will talk to you later
hugs :)
chrissy
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chrissy
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8
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623
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Is there a link?
(Preview)
Hi!
I have heard of a high rate of incidence between alcoholism and mental illness, especially depression and bipolar disorder. Does anyone have any knowledge or experience of this or do you think it may simply be a coincidence. My binge A has been diagnosed with...
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Feather
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5
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871
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Breakthrough
(Preview)
Hello all....i feel like i haven't been here or talked to my friends in recovery in months. As a matter of fact, when i enter the chat room now, i no longer recognize anyone and very few say hello. But i wanted to share the progress that i feel i have made.
I have moved up to a new position at wo...
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Mandi
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3
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912
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I had to leave again
(Preview)
I had to leave my husband again over the weekend. We have only been back together for 2 months and I really thought it was going to work. My husband is an active a and he got violent this weekend. I don't know what is going on with him. I have suspected that he is using drugs or drin...
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JulieLynn
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7
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928
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i saw the lawyer today
(Preview)
Went to see the lawyer today and it went very well. Apparently, according to the attorney b/c I've been a smart cookie and have put nothing in his name, I'm pretty well protected. The house was mine before we married and all he would be entitled to is how much the house has appreciated in the course...
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Kim
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7
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936
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Quote
(Preview)
I at times, start future tripping, is what I call it, worrying about things that haven't happened because of the histroy of my yesterdays...I started looking at quotes and found one that I really like, wanted to share...it has to do with staying in the present, letting yesterday go and not worrying ab...
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marmare
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4
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758
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wondering?
(Preview)
A's son called today and I said I wasn't sure when he(A) would be back. Immediatly, he asks, "today?" In other words, has he gone on a binge?
Does the wondering ever end? It seems that there is always that doubt in our minds, even when things are going good.
Maybe we should all just take one day a...
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TLC2
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4
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715
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second guessing
(Preview)
I was reading on these boards the other day and someone said something like thank god I'm not perfect, then what would I do? For some reason that stuck in my head and I got to thinking on the way home from work this weekend about how my hp didn't make me perfect. It makes sense I would mess up quite a bit as I w...
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hopefortoday
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3
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824
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Told his mother..
(Preview)
Well, while my alcoholic husband was/is up at his usual watering hole today, his mother stopped by to pick up some fundraiser items she ordered from our boys. The topic switched and I felt my mouth utter .." What can I do to stop him from going to the bar?" She must have thought I was just maki...
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Donna
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6
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1015
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I miss him...
(Preview)
I really miss my brother a whole lot..He is 3 years younger than me. He lives with my father..He should not be there.My dad is very manipulative and abusive.I have called children services,but my dad has threatened my brother to be quiet or he will kill me,or someone else.The system is soo corrupt.My d...
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Lauren ashley
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2
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1018
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Choices, Attitude Adjustment, Balance
(Preview)
I'm having another one of those mornings where I wake up and notice "things" that the kids have/haven't done again. The one thing that really got my goat was seeing the toilet in the girls' bathroom plugged up - someone didn't flush or when they did it got plugged and they didn't bother to use the p...
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kismetstrand
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8
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754
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he fell off!!
(Preview)
i compleatly lost it.yet again my partner was moaning about my son [ who is 17 and a good boy but lazy] it was just abit too much for me . my temper escaped from me . normaly i am very laid back but it was just before i went to work . since i am the wage earner . i work hard but i can not do every thing. anyway th...
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Mars
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3
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1101
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today was GREAT
(Preview)
I went to therapy today, it was awesome. I brought my mother along & we had a 2 hour session. We talked a lot... & I wanted my therapist to know where I'm coming from & what I'm dealing with, with my mother. They connected it was wonderful.
The therapist did say s...
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kitty
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5
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816
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i am POWERLESS
(Preview)
You are reading from God Grant Me . . . Turn your wounds into wisdom. OPRAH WINFREY We’ve all been hurt. We all carry scars from the healing of wounds—big ones and small ones. In early recovery, we think about those wounds and how we got them and what we might have done differently if we could do it all ove...
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rosie light shines
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1
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664
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Thanks to Al-Anon
(Preview)
Thanks to Al-Anon I was able to be compassionate when my A finally showed up last night around 7:30 or so. When he started crying about how sorry he was for hurting me. That he now realizes how much more important his marriage is than the drugs and alcohol. That he has told me when he re...
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marmare
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9
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987
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UncleLou are you okay?
(Preview)
((((((((((Lou))))))
Are you alright? I have been thinking about you, worrying about you and praying for you all day. If you have seen the replies to your post, you will see that many others feel the same way. Please let us know how you are doing.
Lots of supporting thoughts coming your way.
...
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Jeannie
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5
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952
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the same old thing
(Preview)
Well this is the first time I have visited this website and thank goodness I have found it. It is just comforting to know that I am not the only person going through this. I'm not even sure if I have the right to be here or not. When I read what everyone else has written, it makes my problems seem trivial. I am a...
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Scottishgirl
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7
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916
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reading Lauren's poems inspired me to write
(Preview)
I used to write much more in HS. I can only think of one other poem I wrote in the last 10 years at least.
My Straight Jacket
Paralyzed by Leukophobia
This jacket is the color
of a blinding blizzard white out
The jacket protects you from yourself and
pr...
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bobump
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4
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827
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wow...what a weekend!
(Preview)
Good Morning to you.
Wow! what a weekend. If I could sum it up in just one word, it would be "Powerful". I have been given the gift of "Excellence". I can not really express fully the energy that I have found. This was a "Tell the Truth" weekend. Be real, the on...
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sunny1
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2
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920
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Nice weekend
(Preview)
Surpising I had a nice weekend. There was no taking off and disappearing for a while. In the morning since he can't drive my car I drove him to the work place. He noticed when he got out of the car and didn't have his phone. The old me would of drove home right away and get the phone so I could call him. The new me...
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nycbt
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3
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740
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Inspiring Each Other, Growth
(Preview)
Wow, just in the last few days, I have noticed the inspirational meetings & witnessing growth in our individual programs... God eludes us, is mystical in how HP works through us & touches us all through each other.
We are all messengers of God, Angels on Earth, transforming. ...
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kitty
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3
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843
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God grant me the ability to THINK B4 i act
(Preview)
You are reading from God Grant Me . . . We cannot think first and act afterward. From the moment of birth we are immersed in action, and can only fitfully guide it by taking thought.ALFRED NORTH WHITEHEAD There’s a good reason that one of the slogans we use most in recovery is this one: Think. We are alwa...
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rosie light shines
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0
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606
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