Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

allison · allison

last thursday my a called me repeatidly at work then showed up after I quit taking his calls in fear I would get fired.I told him to leave...he did after my boss walked up.after he left my daughter called to let me know that he took off the doorknob on the door and also took the phone cord off the phone.I left...

cullyvan · cullyvan

Hi - I'm new to this group. Need some advice. I'm involved with an alcoholic. I've recently started going to Al-Anon and I think it is going to help a lot but I'm rather shy and am not comfortable calling up members of the group to talk to at yet even though there are a few things I'm grap...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I have been doing everything in my power to find a way to help my husband. I know he wants help but is feeling isolated. His brother has come to realize how bad his brother (my husband) is. I think I am going to suggest baker acting him. They will hold him for three days and he can go from there. I know I can forc...

Barbara · Barbara

When will he realize he's an alcoholic? No wonder he cant go on family vacations w/us - he takes all his time off being hungover! Please tell me how to get through his not going to work cos to me he's a lazy ass

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hello Friends and Happy New Year! I hope all of you had a nice holiday. I enjoyed my kids and my family as well as my week vacation. My "a" tried to behave himself, but slipped at my mom's Christmas day. He got pretty drunk but thankfully all the other relatives had left and all the ki...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 04, 2006 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=1271>. Separating from Family Issues We can draw a healthy line, a healthy boundary, between our nuclear family and ourselves. We can separate ourselves f...

DeAnna · DeAnna

My spouse is attempting for help, a few meetings, counseling, yet drinking at the same time. Althought he has considerably cut down. He's admitted he has a problem, but hasn't decided to completely forever give it up. I'm not perfect, & when I try a diet, or to change...

mebjk · mebjk

Thank you all so much for being here. My life is a lot better today than it was for years and years, and it is because of the experience, strength, hope, and love I have found in Alanon. I think I am going in and out of denial. I want to let go of my life, of my obsessions, of my anxiety, but I still think I can...

browneyes · browneyes

Last night the topic of divorce came up between me and my kids. My daughter who is 8 is happy she says, as long as I get custody. She and her Dad don't get along very well. But my son, who is five, started crying and was worried that his Dad would be sad without us. It nearly broke me...

Emafer · Emafer

When do you believe your "A". When he's been drinking or when he's sober. And can you even tell? I don't mean things like lyring about taking out the trash or not. But when he tells you that he loves you and things like that. Is "En Vino Veritas" true???

Barbara · Barbara

Does anyone know anymore about this? Im thinking about it. Does anyone bring their kids even if their kids arent attending AlAnon? Anyone know anything about the speakers/meetings? Do most ppl go Fri-Sun or most just attend the conference on Sat? Does anyone know the area? I know there's meals avail...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

THURSDAY , JANUARY 05, 2006 You are reading from the book Touchstones </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=212>. Be able to be alone. Lose not the advantage of solitude. - Sir Thomas Browne Loneliness and solitude are very different things. When we're lonely, we feel sad abou...

lilleah · lilleah

Ok, my test post worked so I will try this again! I am frustrated with myself b/c I have decided I do not want this relationship, and I have started looking at what I can afford housing wise, but I am still trying to gather the courage to leave. I am impatient with myself. I am trying to let my HP help with th...

lilleah · lilleah

I keep trying to submit a post, and it doesn't seem to be working, so this is a test to see if it works. Leah

nycbt · nycbt

Today was a hard day. I found out later in the day I didn't take all my meds right. So when my husband asked me to buy something for him that is going to be alot of money. I started to flip out and all my program went out the window. Then he walk out the door. Then I went out with my frineds to dinner and talked to...

AlaMom · AlaMom

So many times we have heard that the A has to hit a bottom to change. But for those of us who are so affected by this hideous disease - we to must reach a bottom before we really start to change things in our lives. I recently have had that happen to me. Last week I posted of my accomplish...

twopoodles · twopoodles

Hi guys, I hope you all had a great holiday. I've been off for a little while, thought I'd come back and give you guys an update. I would love to hear comments. So, My ds and I stayed in a hotel last night (that I can't afford). HE came back from out of town (he had gone back home to get clean) on the 29 around...

sandie123 · sandie123

Things are going with me... just going.... I should feel they are going good but I must admit I am scared of all the changes. I have a job again at a special ed. school where I used to work. This IS a good thing because they want ME. I am concerned about going back though. When I left there I was not really h...

hopeful · hopeful

i have been questioning my whloe life lately and my mental state seems to deteriorate. I am on antipsycotic meds. My behaviour seems unacceptable, my moods fluctuating some day iam rational other times i dont seem to make sense to any one and i am always reffered bact to my mental illness whenever i try...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Woohoo, yes it is that time of year when the Steps begin again in our Thursday night meetings!! And this year I get to sit back and relax while someone else chairs... heehee... *grin*. I love this step... it is the foundation cornerstone of my program and I find I revisit it over and over a...

hudsond · hudsond

I have been trying to take things one day at a time. My husband has good days and bad days. More good than bad and while I am thankful for that, I don't think I appreciate it as much as I should. I get aggravated when I see a "slip" coming and especially when he (if he would think about it fo...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Today's thought is: Forgiving others - Releasing the past There is a general reluctance on the part of most people to forgive old injuries. Some of us wasted lots of time brooding about old wrongs done to us or trying to get even for some past injustice. But the only way we can ever really get even i...

kat4u · kat4u

Is anyone having problems with entering the chat room, or am I the only one? It changes constantly and tonite was the worst. The room had a totally different "look" to it, and absolutely no way could I get in? What is going on with it? I'm really about ready to give it up. I really like the alanon group too, a...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

i know my posts of late have been reflective of my grief....well yeah, comming to terms with the total loss IS a hard thing to accept......but there IS more to me than just that....i CAN forgive...i CAN give up resentments....i CAN do more than just be angry at my perp....sure!!! till i ge...

doxie · doxie

I am being tested and to see how well I put the alanon princliples to work. I am trying to figure out how to best take care of me after a disappointing admission from my A. It is going to have some uncomfortable consequences for him. I want to keep it from making me crazy and figure out how to NOT let it make m...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hi guys just to pass on this little bit of friendly advice... in my anger and hate filled state a while back...i was walking throu a bookstore lost in my own thoughts when i had the urge to glance to my left... at eye level a book stared back at me it was called.. "Chicken Soup for the Soul"... the...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hey this is for JOHN! how did the xmas cards go with the guys in MIP in Wilmington? i had to send a New Years Card instead of xmas one coz i missed that post. culd you please let us know...... did they receive many...and were they pleased. i hope they cheered them up! thanks rebecca xxx ...

maresie · maresie

I have to say the financial stuff with me is really coming to a head. My boyfriend should really declare bankruptcy for his medical issues. Meantime he is content to act out, feel sorry for himself and lean on me time and time again. Last Novemeber he declared that he broke his foot on the job, woul...

mia66 · mia66

Well, I have put myself back in an unacceptable intolerable situation. I am not sure how to dig my way back out of the muck. I left my husband of 10 years in 1995. His cocaine use escalated to a dangerous level and after years of attending alanon I finally found the strength to get myself and our 2 c...

GSDGIRL36 · GSDGIRL36

My husband went to rehab today. It's been extremely difficult on the kids (who think he went on a trip...they are little). It's been harder on my husband than anyone, he loves those kids so much and misses them, I just keep telling him it's a positive thing in the long run. In a way, I wish he'd just come hom...

browneyes · browneyes

Hi guys Thank you my friends for responding to me, i just started crying , I don't know why. I'm just feeling pretty overwhelmed with trying to figure it all out. And it means a lot to me for you all to support me. I hate feeling like this. like i just want someone to take care of...

just me · just me

I need help with boundaries. Does anyone have experience with an A who constantly uses the visitation with the kids to manipulate? Mine keeps making changes to the visitation schedule based on his situation. 1 year and 4 jobs later I am tired of this crap! He expects me to ju...

Sweetpea950 · Sweetpea950

Christmas eve, our grown daughter tried to commit suicide while she was drinking. She has done this several times before....she lives in another state and I feel helpless to help her at times like this. She lost a baby five years ago, and it seems she has lost all hope now too. She is...

debilyn · debilyn

thank you for the post, I missed it. Now I am dealing with my one hundred and five year and nine mo. old gma. She has now gone bananas. It is pretty tiriring. We are doing our best to keep a sense of humor. She is a crack up. We write all the things down she says. says she has her boobs in the bedroom.....

Jule_cat21 · Jule_cat21

I've been thinking. I think the reason I have been so devastated with shame since my A husband's impropriety on New Years in front of our friends was the fact that my bubble of "pretend superbness in a peaceful marriage" has burst. I have known for years, deep in my heart...

Kim · Kim

Took my A to rehab this morning. It was a sad and happy morning. I cried as I left, but was in a surprisingly good mood today. I think alot of it had to do with my own ability to let go. I let go to some extent four months ago when I made him leave. I was happy today because I was able to keep it together all th...

gardengal · gardengal

One of the main symptoms of my disease is a sense of uncertaintity and confusion. This is especially true when I have to make a decision about something that is full of emotion, which for me is just about everything, Setting a boundary with a friend, standing up for myself on the job, staying home...

Emafer · Emafer

How do you guys deal with boredom. For me, it's when my mind starts to wander and I end up too in my head. Unfortunately I happen to have a job that requires very little of my mental capacity. I spend a lot of the day attempting to "look busy". So, a lot of my days are actually spent with "The Committee" or obse...

megan · megan

This morning I got a phone call early in the morning. I don't like these as usually it means trouble. It was my husband. He said that he was at his new job a half hour early and thought he would call me. He has not worked in 3 years 11 months! My opinion? He was an alcoholic of the kind that w...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello everyone, Not feeling very proud of myself today, because of the added vet bills and holiday stuff this year my A and I agreed that we would put our Christmas checks from parents in towards household bills. This is the broken promise and lie I found out about right before the holiday, he c...

maresie · maresie

I had a conversation with my boss this morning part of being willing to show up in my life. I realise I would rather take his inventory than mine and part of this compulsive taking everyone else's inventory is willfulness on my part. Last summer I got willing to do work I would not normally do (the area I li...

sas · sas

I am new to this message board as of yesterday and have found a lot of good help here already. I have lately had a problem with being stuck in my head, stuck in my own thoughts, and I can't seem to get away from them. Everything and nearly everyone is triggering me. I don't really know wh...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

I made this topic today at the meeting...."Fear of Letting Go" I thought I would share it one here as well for those who could not make it to the meeting... This is truly i find my worst fear of all.I don't know why,but something always holds me back from letting go.Letting go of the past is especia...

browneyes · browneyes

Hey everyone-Happy New Year to you all!! I have been away for a while but thought I would catch up. Today I got a call from my husband saying he is going back to jail for driving under the influence. He has been awake for over five days and has been shooting it, too. So it wasn't really a surpr...

nycbt · nycbt

When I first meet my husband I didn't want to leave his side for any amount of time. I would call him all the time. He would do his stuff drink/drug I thought if I would give him attention that he would stop doing all the nonsense. Well then I went on depression meds some work some didn't I wanted to cha...

krise · krise

My husband has been in recovery for a little over a year now . . . he is an acoholic and addict. I met him when he was clean, then he started using again, and now he's clean again. It's been an up and down roller coaster. When he first became sober again, he was loving and close and talked w...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Our Greatest Need "We eventually redefine our beliefs and understanding to the point where we see that our greatest need is for knowledge of God's will for us and the strength to carry that out"Basic Text p. 46When we first arrived in NA, we had all kinds of ideas of what we needed. Some of us set our s...

marmare · marmare

The holidays were good to me. My brother surprised my mom for Christmas. It had been over 20 years since he spent Christmas Day with her. It was nice to have him home. My A has been behaving himself. He did drink champange on New Year's Eve. But that has been it s...

jcon · jcon

Hey all, Trying to log onto chat site and its not working...keep getting server messages w/ *** underneath in chat section. Any and all help is appreciated. jcon

Jule_cat21 · Jule_cat21

Dear Maria, Flora and others Thanks for your replies to my message! I have an honest question for this board because it is something I have wondered about for a long time. There seems to be a common thread throughout all your messages: "Go to meetings and focus on YOU." ...

confused · confused

Things are going ok today. I set a few goals for myself: to take down the Christmas decorations and tree and then clean the main floor of the house. I am almost done, the snow day is helping, cannot go anywhere, snowed in at the moment. I tend to go, go, go, I suppose it is avoidance. My husband calls a co...

allison · allison

How do I find a alanon meeting in my area?.....TY,Allison

Jule_cat21 · Jule_cat21

I learned that my a husband did something else on new years eve that he doesn't remember and wouldn't be happy to hear that he did and I was shocked to hear myself. My best girlfriend told me last night that he slapped her butt, and he did it really hard. ...

pixel04 · pixel04

I remember walking to church with my mother once when I was little, and she was fuming about something. I remember wondering how she couldn't just DECIDE to be happy, like I was. I didn't know then that happiness is a choice, and she wasn't ready to make it yet. That same kid who used to wonder why my moth...

Cyn · Cyn

So I am in Chicago visiting my high school roommate and having a blast - of course like always I dont want to go home. This is my home away from home. I have SO many friends that I have met through my friend over the years by coming out here that welcome me with open arms everytime I come back.&nb...

tea2 · tea2

It's www.mipchat.net if you are having trouble with the other -I hope it works -- Edited by tea2 at 15:41, 2006-01-03

Barbara · Barbara

I dont hear at the Sat morn meeting I attend how to get a Sponsor. What do we do once we get one? Do we pour out our heart n soul? Do we talk on the phone/internet/F2F? Please explain it all. And how do we get past that feeling of "oh, they dont want to bother w/me so Im not going to start"?

sandie123 · sandie123

Man, like the bridge, was designed to carry the load of the moment, not the combined weight of a year at once. --William A. Ward When trouble tumbles down on us, we are easily overwhelmed. We see problems facing us in the future, and mountains of work to do. We look at the past and see the pain and str...

Emafer · Emafer

Hi there, I'm new here. My father is my qualifier. I started al- anon about 4 years ago, but I haven't been working my program for long time. I just started going to meetings again, but I thought this might be a good place to share my support. In any case, I've fallen for another alcoholic. I'm trying d...

Carly · Carly

My boyfriend is going into rehab because he is drinking excessively. I don't know how I am going to cope with his absence. I know it sounds extremely selfish. I love this man and he is my everything. I have no idea what the typical time stay is. I want him to get clean, to stop drinking but I’m so upset that he...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	feeling sad tonight (Preview) last thursday my a called me repeatidly at work then showed up after I quit taking his calls in fear I would get fired.I told him to leave...he did after my boss walked up.after he left my daughter called to let me know that he took off the doorknob on the door and also took the phone cord off the phone.I left...	allison	5	400	Jan 6, 2006 by notsonew1111
	setting boundaries or nagging? (Preview) Hi - I'm new to this group. Need some advice. I'm involved with an alcoholic. I've recently started going to Al-Anon and I think it is going to help a lot but I'm rather shy and am not comfortable calling up members of the group to talk to at yet even though there are a few things I'm grap...	cullyvan	6	575	Jan 6, 2006 by cullyvan
	Baker acting husband?? (Preview) I have been doing everything in my power to find a way to help my husband. I know he wants help but is feeling isolated. His brother has come to realize how bad his brother (my husband) is. I think I am going to suggest baker acting him. They will hold him for three days and he can go from there. I know I can forc...	Friendofyours	6	487	Jan 6, 2006 by KathyS
	He called in sick again to work (Preview) When will he realize he's an alcoholic? No wonder he cant go on family vacations w/us - he takes all his time off being hungover! Please tell me how to get through his not going to work cos to me he's a lazy ass	Barbara	6	474	Jan 6, 2006 by KathyS
	Happy New Year and a Quick update (Preview) Hello Friends and Happy New Year! I hope all of you had a nice holiday. I enjoyed my kids and my family as well as my week vacation. My "a" tried to behave himself, but slipped at my mom's Christmas day. He got pretty drunk but thankfully all the other relatives had left and all the ki...	twinmom2	4	390	Jan 6, 2006 by notsonew1111
	i have NO guilt at all, takin care of ME (Preview) *WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 04, 2006 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=1271>.* Separating from Family Issues** We can draw a healthy line, a healthy boundary, between our nuclear family and ourselves. We can separate ourselves f...	rosie light shines	3	382	Jan 6, 2006 by kat4u
	i want compassion...but don't want to give it back (Preview) My spouse is attempting for help, a few meetings, counseling, yet drinking at the same time. Althought he has considerably cut down. He's admitted he has a problem, but hasn't decided to completely forever give it up. I'm not perfect, & when I try a diet, or to change...	DeAnna	3	418	Jan 6, 2006 by KathyS
	Thanks to you all - (Preview) Thank you all so much for being here. My life is a lot better today than it was for years and years, and it is because of the experience, strength, hope, and love I have found in Alanon. I think I am going in and out of denial. I want to let go of my life, of my obsessions, of my anxiety, but I still think I can...	mebjk	0	356	Jan 6, 2006 by mebjk
	Divorce and kids questions (Preview) Last night the topic of divorce came up between me and my kids. My daughter who is 8 is happy she says, as long as I get custody. She and her Dad don't get along very well. But my son, who is five, started crying and was worried that his Dad would be sad without us. It nearly broke me...	browneyes	7	613	Jan 6, 2006 by debilyn
	Believing your "A" (Preview) When do you believe your "A". When he's been drinking or when he's sober. And can you even tell? I don't mean things like lyring about taking out the trash or not. But when he tells you that he loves you and things like that. Is "En Vino Veritas" true???	Emafer	8	708	Jan 6, 2006 by BobN
	AlAnon Conference (MA) April 2006 (Preview) Does anyone know anymore about this? Im thinking about it. Does anyone bring their kids even if their kids arent attending AlAnon? Anyone know anything about the speakers/meetings? Do most ppl go Fri-Sun or most just attend the conference on Sat? Does anyone know the area? I know there's meals avail...	Barbara	3	524	Jan 5, 2006 by Maria123
	hey i CAN see progress...even in my grief (Preview) THURSDAY , JANUARY 05, 2006 You are reading from the book Touchstones </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=212>. Be able to be alone. Lose not the advantage of solitude. - Sir Thomas Browne Loneliness and solitude are very different things. When we're lonely, we feel sad abou...	rosie light shines	2	394	Jan 5, 2006 by DeAnna
	vent (Preview) Ok, my test post worked so I will try this again! I am frustrated with myself b/c I have decided I do not want this relationship, and I have started looking at what I can afford housing wise, but I am still trying to gather the courage to leave. I am impatient with myself. I am trying to let my HP help with th...	lilleah	1	387	Jan 5, 2006 by bcanuck
	trying to post (Preview) I keep trying to submit a post, and it doesn't seem to be working, so this is a test to see if it works. Leah	lilleah	0	371	Jan 5, 2006 by lilleah
	I did it again (Preview) Today was a hard day. I found out later in the day I didn't take all my meds right. So when my husband asked me to buy something for him that is going to be alot of money. I started to flip out and all my program went out the window. Then he walk out the door. Then I went out with my frineds to dinner and talked to...	nycbt	0	455	Jan 5, 2006 by nycbt
	Hitting "our" bottoms... (Preview) So many times we have heard that the A has to hit a bottom to change. But for those of us who are so affected by this hideous disease - we to must reach a bottom before we really start to change things in our lives. I recently have had that happen to me. Last week I posted of my accomplish...	AlaMom	4	648	Jan 5, 2006 by Emafer
	an update on my ahem, situation (Preview) Hi guys, I hope you all had a great holiday. I've been off for a little while, thought I'd come back and give you guys an update. I would love to hear comments. So, My ds and I stayed in a hotel last night (that I can't afford). HE came back from out of town (he had gone back home to get clean) on the 29 around...	twopoodles	7	487	Jan 5, 2006 by twopoodles
	I could use some ESH and hugs (Preview) Things are going with me... just going.... I should feel they are going good but I must admit I am scared of all the changes. I have a job again at a special ed. school where I used to work. This IS a good thing because they want ME. I am concerned about going back though. When I left there I was not really h...	sandie123	6	580	Jan 5, 2006 by Picowitch
	insanity (Preview) i have been questioning my whloe life lately and my mental state seems to deteriorate. I am on antipsycotic meds. My behaviour seems unacceptable, my moods fluctuating some day iam rational other times i dont seem to make sense to any one and i am always reffered bact to my mental illness whenever i try...	hopeful	2	437	Jan 5, 2006 by Emafer
	Step One Meeting Tonight! (Preview) Woohoo, yes it is that time of year when the Steps begin again in our Thursday night meetings!! And this year I get to sit back and relax while someone else chairs... heehee... grin. I love this step... it is the foundation cornerstone of my program and I find I revisit it over and over a...	kismetstrand	1	453	Jan 5, 2006 by bobump
	Wondering (Preview) I have been trying to take things one day at a time. My husband has good days and bad days. More good than bad and while I am thankful for that, I don't think I appreciate it as much as I should. I get aggravated when I see a "slip" coming and especially when he (if he would think about it fo...	hudsond	3	453	Jan 5, 2006 by Emafer
	long share---having trouble with forgiveness??? (Preview) Today's thought is: Forgiving others - Releasing the past There is a general reluctance on the part of most people to forgive old injuries. Some of us wasted lots of time brooding about old wrongs done to us or trying to get even for some past injustice. But the only way we can ever really get even i...	rosie light shines	8	653	Jan 5, 2006 by kat4u
	Lot of problems with chat (Preview) Is anyone having problems with entering the chat room, or am I the only one? It changes constantly and tonite was the worst. The room had a totally different "look" to it, and absolutely no way could I get in? What is going on with it? I'm really about ready to give it up. I really like the alanon group too, a...	kat4u	4	456	Jan 5, 2006 by kat4u
	there is MORE to me than this danged old anger/grief (Preview) i know my posts of late have been reflective of my grief....well yeah, comming to terms with the total loss IS a hard thing to accept......but there IS more to me than just that....i CAN forgive...i CAN give up resentments....i CAN do more than just be angry at my perp....sure!!! till i ge...	rosie light shines	3	382	Jan 5, 2006 by rosie light shines
	Struggling a bit and need to vent just a little (Preview) I am being tested and to see how well I put the alanon princliples to work. I am trying to figure out how to best take care of me after a disappointing admission from my A. It is going to have some uncomfortable consequences for him. I want to keep it from making me crazy and figure out how to NOT let it make m...	doxie	2	432	Jan 5, 2006 by rosie light shines
	"Chicken Soup For The Soul".... (Preview) hi guys just to pass on this little bit of friendly advice... in my anger and hate filled state a while back...i was walking throu a bookstore lost in my own thoughts when i had the urge to glance to my left... at eye level a book stared back at me it was called.. "Chicken Soup for the Soul"... the...	Rebecca	0	783	Jan 5, 2006 by Rebecca
	MIP xmas cards...any news?? (Preview) hey this is for JOHN! how did the xmas cards go with the guys in MIP in Wilmington? i had to send a New Years Card instead of xmas one coz i missed that post. culd you please let us know...... did they receive many...and were they pleased. i hope they cheered them up! thanks rebecca xxx ...	Rebecca	2	503	Jan 5, 2006 by Rebecca
	the financial stuff (Preview) I have to say the financial stuff with me is really coming to a head. My boyfriend should really declare bankruptcy for his medical issues. Meantime he is content to act out, feel sorry for himself and lean on me time and time again. Last Novemeber he declared that he broke his foot on the job, woul...	maresie	5	564	Jan 5, 2006 by sas
	Right Back Where I Started (Preview) Well, I have put myself back in an unacceptable intolerable situation. I am not sure how to dig my way back out of the muck. I left my husband of 10 years in 1995. His cocaine use escalated to a dangerous level and after years of attending alanon I finally found the strength to get myself and our 2 c...	mia66	4	491	Jan 5, 2006 by lin0606
	The first step (Preview) My husband went to rehab today. It's been extremely difficult on the kids (who think he went on a trip...they are little). It's been harder on my husband than anyone, he loves those kids so much and misses them, I just keep telling him it's a positive thing in the long run. In a way, I wish he'd just come hom...	GSDGIRL36	4	526	Jan 5, 2006 by GSDGIRL36
	Overwhelmed (Preview) Hi guys Thank you my friends for responding to me, i just started crying , I don't know why. I'm just feeling pretty overwhelmed with trying to figure it all out. And it means a lot to me for you all to support me. I hate feeling like this. like i just want someone to take care of...	browneyes	3	469	Jan 5, 2006 by fiona123
	boundaries (Preview) I need help with boundaries. Does anyone have experience with an A who constantly uses the visitation with the kids to manipulate? Mine keeps making changes to the visitation schedule based on his situation. 1 year and 4 jobs later I am tired of this crap! He expects me to ju...	just me	8	461	Jan 4, 2006 by butterfly6
	Depression over the holidays (Preview) Christmas eve, our grown daughter tried to commit suicide while she was drinking. She has done this several times before....she lives in another state and I feel helpless to help her at times like this. She lost a baby five years ago, and it seems she has lost all hope now too. She is...	Sweetpea950	6	862	Jan 4, 2006 by Sweetpea950
	hi leo (Preview) thank you for the post, I missed it. Now I am dealing with my one hundred and five year and nine mo. old gma. She has now gone bananas. It is pretty tiriring. We are doing our best to keep a sense of humor. She is a crack up. We write all the things down she says. says she has her boobs in the bedroom.....	debilyn	3	442	Jan 4, 2006 by whitie
	Letting the illusion go (Preview) I've been thinking. I think the reason I have been so devastated with shame since my A husband's impropriety on New Years in front of our friends was the fact that my bubble of "pretend superbness in a peaceful marriage" has burst. I have known for years, deep in my heart...	Jule_cat21	8	588	Jan 4, 2006 by Jennifer
	he went in!!!!! (Preview) Took my A to rehab this morning. It was a sad and happy morning. I cried as I left, but was in a surprisingly good mood today. I think alot of it had to do with my own ability to let go. I let go to some extent four months ago when I made him leave. I was happy today because I was able to keep it together all th...	Kim	10	744	Jan 4, 2006 by GSDGIRL36
	HOW TO HANDLE MY BOUTS OF FEAR AN INDICISIONS (Preview) One of the main symptoms of my disease is a sense of uncertaintity and confusion. This is especially true when I have to make a decision about something that is full of emotion, which for me is just about everything, Setting a boundary with a friend, standing up for myself on the job, staying home...	gardengal	5	421	Jan 4, 2006 by sas
	Boredom? (Preview) How do you guys deal with boredom. For me, it's when my mind starts to wander and I end up too in my head. Unfortunately I happen to have a job that requires very little of my mental capacity. I spend a lot of the day attempting to "look busy". So, a lot of my days are actually spent with "The Committee" or obse...	Emafer	5	452	Jan 4, 2006 by Emafer
	Hope (Preview) This morning I got a phone call early in the morning. I don't like these as usually it means trouble. It was my husband. He said that he was at his new job a half hour early and thought he would call me. He has not worked in 3 years 11 months! My opinion? He was an alcoholic of the kind that w...	megan	9	477	Jan 4, 2006 by browneyes
	Help with resentment (Preview) Hello everyone, Not feeling very proud of myself today, because of the added vet bills and holiday stuff this year my A and I agreed that we would put our Christmas checks from parents in towards household bills. This is the broken promise and lie I found out about right before the holiday, he c...	Jennifer	4	543	Jan 4, 2006 by maresie
	I'd rather take his inventory than mine (Preview) I had a conversation with my boss this morning part of being willing to show up in my life. I realise I would rather take his inventory than mine and part of this compulsive taking everyone else's inventory is willfulness on my part. Last summer I got willing to do work I would not normally do (the area I li...	maresie	4	522	Jan 4, 2006 by maresie
	I'm stuck in my head. Help! (Preview) I am new to this message board as of yesterday and have found a lot of good help here already. I have lately had a problem with being stuck in my head, stuck in my own thoughts, and I can't seem to get away from them. Everything and nearly everyone is triggering me. I don't really know wh...	sas	7	1249	Jan 4, 2006 by sas
	""FEARS OF LETTING GO"" A COMMON THING WE ALL SHARE (Preview) I made this topic today at the meeting...."Fear of Letting Go" I thought I would share it one here as well for those who could not make it to the meeting... This is truly i find my worst fear of all.I don't know why,but something always holds me back from letting go.Letting go of the past is especia...	Lauren ashley	9	707	Jan 4, 2006 by nycbt
	Husband in prison (Preview) Hey everyone-Happy New Year to you all!! I have been away for a while but thought I would catch up. Today I got a call from my husband saying he is going back to jail for driving under the influence. He has been awake for over five days and has been shooting it, too. So it wasn't really a surpr...	browneyes	7	499	Jan 4, 2006 by Dolphin123
	look back (Preview) When I first meet my husband I didn't want to leave his side for any amount of time. I would call him all the time. He would do his stuff drink/drug I thought if I would give him attention that he would stop doing all the nonsense. Well then I went on depression meds some work some didn't I wanted to cha...	nycbt	2	403	Jan 4, 2006 by captcodee
	is sobriety any better???? (Preview) My husband has been in recovery for a little over a year now . . . he is an acoholic and addict. I met him when he was clean, then he started using again, and now he's clean again. It's been an up and down roller coaster. When he first became sober again, he was loving and close and talked w...	krise	9	673	Jan 4, 2006 by athena12
	scared of god's will for me??? (Preview) Our Greatest Need "We eventually redefine our beliefs and understanding to the point where we see that our greatest need is for knowledge of God's will for us and the strength to carry that out"Basic Text p. 46When we first arrived in NA, we had all kinds of ideas of what we needed. Some of us set our s...	rosie light shines	5	621	Jan 4, 2006 by leo
	Need pick me up (Preview) The holidays were good to me. My brother surprised my mom for Christmas. It had been over 20 years since he spent Christmas Day with her. It was nice to have him home. My A has been behaving himself. He did drink champange on New Year's Eve. But that has been it s...	marmare	8	669	Jan 4, 2006 by leo
	Having Puter problems (Preview) Hey all, Trying to log onto chat site and its not working...keep getting server messages w/ *** underneath in chat section. Any and all help is appreciated. jcon	jcon	1	362	Jan 4, 2006 by just me
	I don't get the focus on ourselves part (Preview) Dear Maria, Flora and others Thanks for your replies to my message! I have an honest question for this board because it is something I have wondered about for a long time. There seems to be a common thread throughout all your messages: "Go to meetings and focus on YOU." ...	Jule_cat21	10	579	Jan 3, 2006 by Jeannie
	ok for today (Preview) Things are going ok today. I set a few goals for myself: to take down the Christmas decorations and tree and then clean the main floor of the house. I am almost done, the snow day is helping, cannot go anywhere, snowed in at the moment. I tend to go, go, go, I suppose it is avoidance. My husband calls a co...	confused	1	389	Jan 3, 2006 by Jennifer
	quick question (Preview) How do I find a alanon meeting in my area?.....TY,Allison	allison	1	407	Jan 3, 2006 by Jennifer
	should I tell him? (Preview) I learned that my a husband did something else on new years eve that he doesn't remember and wouldn't be happy to hear that he did and I was shocked to hear myself. My best girlfriend told me last night that he slapped her butt, and he did it really hard. ...	Jule_cat21	7	588	Jan 3, 2006 by Jule_cat21
	Step one (Preview) I remember walking to church with my mother once when I was little, and she was fuming about something. I remember wondering how she couldn't just DECIDE to be happy, like I was. I didn't know then that happiness is a choice, and she wasn't ready to make it yet. That same kid who used to wonder why my moth...	pixel04	5	512	Jan 3, 2006 by Emafer
	Sometimes you get what you need without knowing it (Preview) So I am in Chicago visiting my high school roommate and having a blast - of course like always I dont want to go home. This is my home away from home. I have SO many friends that I have met through my friend over the years by coming out here that welcome me with open arms everytime I come back.&nb...	Cyn	4	385	Jan 3, 2006 by notsonew1111
	Chat Room (Preview) It's www.mipchat.net if you are having trouble with the other -I hope it works -- Edited by tea2 at 15:41, 2006-01-03	tea2	0	381	Jan 3, 2006 by tea2
	please explain to me how to get a sponsor (Preview) I dont hear at the Sat morn meeting I attend how to get a Sponsor. What do we do once we get one? Do we pour out our heart n soul? Do we talk on the phone/internet/F2F? Please explain it all. And how do we get past that feeling of "oh, they dont want to bother w/me so Im not going to start"?	Barbara	6	534	Jan 3, 2006 by Diane43
	Hope this helps others today…. I sure needed it (Preview) Man, like the bridge, was designed to carry the load of the moment, not the combined weight of a year at once. --William A. Ward When trouble tumbles down on us, we are easily overwhelmed. We see problems facing us in the future, and mountains of work to do. We look at the past and see the pain and str...	sandie123	5	473	Jan 3, 2006 by Diane43
	I Love Alcoholics (Preview) Hi there, I'm new here. My father is my qualifier. I started al- anon about 4 years ago, but I haven't been working my program for long time. I just started going to meetings again, but I thought this might be a good place to share my support. In any case, I've fallen for another alcoholic. I'm trying d...	Emafer	13	641	Jan 3, 2006 by Emafer
	please help (Preview) My boyfriend is going into rehab because he is drinking excessively. I don't know how I am going to cope with his absence. I know it sounds extremely selfish. I love this man and he is my everything. I have no idea what the typical time stay is. I want him to get clean, to stop drinking but I’m so upset that he...	Carly	6	454	Jan 3, 2006 by Dolphin123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.