Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

New Member Here · Sondee

I am married to an alcoholic. This is my second marriage to an addict. I struggle constantly with the notion of leaving, but financially that just isn't feasible. He is not physically abusive. Every day he starts drinking as soon as he gets home from work; he stops when he passes out late in the night. If...

sparkette · sparkette

I had been pretty excited about my upcoming 1 year Alanon birthday for the last few weeks. I really am a cake celebrating kind of gal - so any reason for a cake is always good for me :0) We have a wonderful Alanon speakers meeting every month in our area that gives out chips for Alanon recovery. I was all exci...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I sat down and told my kids we are moving last night. That I am seperating from my husband. They didn't understand why. I guess I did a good job of not fighting in front of them andsheltering them from his drinking. All they were aware of was the problems with his daughter. An...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

the past few days my a has been phoning me and treating me good. i was confused so today i spoke with him and asked him exactly what his motives were. i wanted to know if we were speaking and are working things out or if he is just trying to keep a hold on me. i want him to come home if he would be willing to go back t...

rtexas · rtexas

Well our daily conversation has become ... ... if you can't make me happy we may as well break it off. Best I can offer her is, that I am trying to keep myself sane and that may not include keeping her entertained. "I love you but you have a drinking problem that you are not ready to d...

Sondee · Sondee

I had no idea before reading the messages on this board how unoriginal my As are (ex husband and current husband). Wow! It's the same ugly face everywhere, the very same. There's no originality. (It's not even unique that I married two of them.) This realization is a breakthrough for me. It's like alco...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

I wonder sometimes if I should go to an Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting. My a is my boyfriend, but my father was one too. (And a Freudian psychologist. The irony is painful.) The thing is, my a is trying to get sober, slipping here and there. But I never thought of m...

2D1S · 2D1S

Someone tell me about "boundaries"....Is there a specific alanon book that discusses them? Any info. would be great to help me learn more. -2D1S

new member · papa brunsk

Just wanted to introduce my self I am a 47 yr old father of 3 girls.My wife of 21 yrs has been battling with alcholism for the past 10 yrs.I spent some time today in the chat room and am looking forward to my first meeting the people I met were fantastic.hope to chat again soon

rtexas · rtexas

A cut her drinking from 12-14 beers a day to 7 or so and asks me "are you happy"? I told her I'm not counting any more. 7, 12 or 20... her irrational behavior is the same, so it doesn't matter to me. A decided to have dinner at my folks for a send off diner for my brother.&...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i am not speaking to my dad, but i miss him. i refuse to call him! but i am starting to feel weak. i wonder if maybe i should call him. the problem is that my dad doesn't like confrentaion and avoids anything that is negative. he is in denial as well. if i call him, he's going to act like nothing is wrong (like...

chris52 · chris52

Well my A made contact by using a phone number he knew I would answer! Asked me what had he done wrong? Why was I punishing him?Why am I destroying his hope and love? Says he has absolutely no idea what he is supposed to have done wrong. Told me that after I apologised and he refused my apology he had second...

bd · bd

I have waited very patiently for the last for years for my ex who is an A to pay his child support. In Dec of last year i sent in the papers to have him garnished as he has been working for the last year at his job and i have seen no form of support. Well I guess they have started to garnish him becaus...

Christy · Christy

It appears A's bloodwork is getting back under control. He is getting out of ICU today and in to a regular room. Now his only immediate problems are the pneumonia and his blood pressure. They've been trying to get his BP down for almost a week with not much luck. Tonight is my son's concert in St. Loui...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Okay, my AH left me and my kids, wants to start his life over in another state, when he left here, we had kissed him goodbye, he loved me etc etc. He relapsed out there, decided to not come back blah blah blah...... Anyway, I haven't spoken to him for weeks now because it's so upsetting talking to h...

Barbara · Barbara

Ive been focusing on my recovery for a few months now. Its time to get some fun back into my life! Not that recovery cant be fun. But what else do you do in your life that isnt related to recovery? How do you step away? Could be that its winter and I have a hard time dealing with not getting outside!

bobump · bobump

Ok, so my A just hit a recovery button on me, and I don't have a sponser so I'd like to take a check here. Cliff notes story on the background. NJ's new 'digital' license requires documentation for all name changes. Her naturalization papers were lost from storage at her sisters years ago. Now she ne...

debilyn · debilyn

Took A to his doc. app. for SS. His "friend" was home. I don't know why he did not ask him to take him. I have to drive from another town to take him. He is dead walking. NO life, no spark, no word. no how are you's hows gma nothing. I don't care. my guts are a mess. him, gma, squatters..ick it i...

Cyn · Cyn

Hey guys, I know both of you are in the same position I am in - staying away from our A's who we loved so much and needed in our lives. We've been through the ringer and the rollercoaster of I love you's and I hate you's. I have been playing the same song everyday in my car on the way to work to keep me f...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

You are reading from the book Today's Gift </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=2121>. Shame-filled people feel that something is wrong at their very core. It is a sense of being bad . . .. --Susan Kwiecien Nobody is rotten to the core. Whenever we start to believe we are bad all the...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))), So many newbies ask us to give them an example of enabling. The past couple of days, I have some of the best examples in my comic strip. I have been a Peanuts fan since the beginning of time. (Remember I'm older than dirt.)

So everyday I go to www.snoopy.com f...

Nettie · Nettie

I have a friend of mine that found out that her boyfriend is going on to web sites for porn. Does anyone know of a message board similar to this one that she can access?

Nettie · Nettie

So I got a new CD and unlike my children, I choose to listen to the entire CD instead of just the one song that I originally purchased it for. On this CD there is a song that just hit me. I thought I would share. When my A becomes unrealistic in his thinking and frustrates me beyond words....

jeeves · jeeves

My A wife was let go from her job of 14 years in September 2005. After a two week binge she agreed to go to 3 months of rehab. This was the second rehab this year. When she returned in January she returned to drinking again. Now she sleeps in the guest bedroom, wakes...

Christy · Christy

Along with the pneumonia some tests came back that look pretty serious.. I forgot to mention....(my brain is out to lunch) A's ammonia levels in his blood are very high. His liver is not functioning correctly and ammonia backs up in to his kidney. I don't know exactly what an SGOT test stands for, b...

chris52 · chris52

I'm in a really bad place right now.Any progress I thought I was making is right oout of the window.Sorry-this is going to be a long post. I am English but living in Turkey.My A has a history of using violence when drunk and the police have beeen involved three times now. We finished after the last bout and...

flintfeet · flintfeet

i am feeling torn b/c of my situation with my dad. we have broken off all contact with him. i feel bad about it quite often. the thing is that i know he doesn't care. that feels so horrible to feel that i am that disposable! my sis tells me not to feel bad, it's not my fault, and when he wants to be a part of...

Christy · Christy

My A has stopped hallucinating (4 days worth), and he slept for 16 hrs. Today he is still very lethargic but does know who we are for the fist time since early Sunday. He has pneumonia and his blood pressure is still not under control. He also had an MRI today and that looked good. It looks like the initia...

MarylandVol · MarylandVol

Hi gang... So while on vacation, I met this guy that I am attracted to - funny, intelligent, sexy, etc. Then I found out he's recovering A. He is in the other program, but I have some questions, especially for you long-timers ( I'm coming up on my 2 year chip next month.) Is it unwise to even cons...

Picowitch · Picowitch

Help someone please, cant access chatroom, keep gettin an error message saying security exception cant access irc.mipchat.net

tea2 · tea2

Choices -This was the topic of my last two face to face meetings (both nights in a row) After a topic is given I take it with me to reflect on. I was given a choice to attend an Al-Anon Conference. I was second guessing my ‘choice’ to go. Someone asked me if I was going for the Al-Anon or for the friends. I l...

new member · izzymom

I am a new member, and I need some advise. We are doing an intervention on my 30-year-old son Monday and I am scared to death! I am afraid he will never speak to me again, but he is using and killing himself and I dont know what else to do. Has anyone done this? I guess I need a comfor...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Yesterday just got better and better for me. My "a" phoned me at work just before I was ready to leave and says, Hey I had a thought, why don't I move back in for a week, save up money and then the boys can help me move into my new place. He said don't you think that would help them transition bette...

Barbara · Barbara

Where do the speakers come from? Who assigns the speakers? Do they have both speaker and discussion meetings? Are there step meetings and what steps? Are there booths (like other conventions) with "freebies"? or no because AlAnon is self-supporting?

Rebecca · Rebecca

hey guys its my birthday 2day..... 25...quarter of a century. i feel ancient

thanks to all of you for your support, love and most importantly your friendship in the last number of months.. YE as a group were there for me throu thick and thin...im very gateful to all of you.. and ye should b...

Barbara · Barbara

OMG! This lady does not make sense! I understand she has alot on her plate right now with my younger brother being in jail and facing rehab, etc. She's telling me 1/2 stories, starts on 1 thing and changes to another, etc, etc. I want to listen to her but she's not making sense. How much am I suppose to get in...

Barbara · Barbara

Is it actually step 10 that we do step 4 continuously? There are certain things I think of that can be considered Step 4. These arent thought of all at once.

Anttay · Anttay

I have been in denial for a long time, pretending all the bad things haven't happened and praying each day that things will get better. Yesterday my daughter asked my A if he still loved me, he said I do but mommy is being mean to him. This broke my heart, I have been reading a wonderful b...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

I am going to my second alanon meeting tonight. I can't believe I have let so much time lapse. But it was my birthday and then I got the stomach flu, so I wasn't really able to leave the house much. I am trying a step meeting tonight. I don't know that I am on any step yet, maybe just...

kissers · kissers

I was accepted to go through a women's entrepreneur training program. After I was accepted I had my family if they would watch my daughter 3 evenings per week until the end of March when I would graduate. They said they would do it, no problem. Then the put downs and nasty phonecalls started about how I wa...

marmare · marmare

I drove to work this morning after the tough week I had. My A relapsed and I let him know how unacceptable this is right now in my life. That my plate is so full stuff is dripping off the edges and he needs to pull himself together. My mom had breast cancer 10 years ago and now they have fou...

Powerless · Powerless

Yesterday I sold my husband's dog for him. The dog had begun snapping at our two year old and I was afraid to have it around. My husband said he wanted to buy some shoes and a few other things with the money. Usually I would take the money and go buy what he needs so he doesn't have any cash...

Barbara · Barbara

Its starting to make more sense. Not only take care of myself emotionally, spiritually and physically but to start feeling my emotions. Instead of thinking "Hes just so aggravating" its time to own those feelings "He make me feel bad" when he --- What is this AlAnon journey? a series of revelations...

Barbara · Barbara

Its been that way for a while now. Its at the point when I have something to say to him I go down in the basement where he "lives", take one look at him and turn around. I see in his eyes that he's been drinking and I know that the next morning he wont remember a word I say so I may as well forget it! Just came home...

Barbara · Barbara

Its a step meeting. I go to a Sat meeting where we break into 3 groups - begineer, discussion and step. I had sat in on Steps 2 and 3 in the past at that meeting. Tonights meeting happened to be on Step 4. Geesch guess Im meant to listen in on the steps!

Christy · Christy

Hi (((friends)))) First I want to to thank everyone for their prayers and phone calls. You all ar so important to me at this time. My hubby is still in ICU. As of yesterday he still did not know me, still climbing the walls and hallucinating. I'm also very grateful for my kids. They have truly ralli...

flintfeet · flintfeet

my parents are divorced (for 6yrs now). my mom left b/c she asked my dad to choose her or drinking. he chose drinking. my mom has no respect for my dad and just has a negative attitude about him. my dad and i have always been close. but now, i do not have any contact with him b/c of his actions and how h...

amy123 · amy123

I just wanted to give you a way to get in touch with me outside the chat room since we seem to have so much on common. I hope you are doing well.

Take care!! amy

Barbara · Barbara

What exactly is scapegoating? The Church I attend just sent a flyer asking parishioners to attend a Sun 2hr meeting. What does scapegoating mean to you? Im considering going. Thank you

doxie · doxie

Just wanted to give a quick update and get this down and out of my head. A/sons lawyer called me this morning. I have to be a character witness. Court is the 23rd of Feb. He told me that the max sentence for what son is charged with is 10 years in the state pen. The State's Attorney is asking for 4 years, an...

captcodee · captcodee

Three years ago (wow, already) my Grandfather passed away on Feb 17. He was the most special person in my life! The last time I talked to him, he called the day after Valentine's to wish me a happy valentine's day. I was seperated from the alcoholic in my life at the time. When I corrected him...

Nettie · Nettie

So, I'm really starting to feel this now. This is the second day this week where all I want to do is cry. Sleep and cry, sounds like a plan. The A calls all mad today because he has to pick the kids up from school, an hour early on top of it because school is done early today. He had to...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

I listen to my heart I listen to the wind howling Blowing away my hair I know it is you Telling me that you care I feel your touch I hear your voice When all I have to do is make that one choice Just to listen to my heart I am throwing the dart ...

sandie123 · sandie123

I am working of giving things up to my HP. Trust has always been an issue with me and I am struggling with it here. I was wondering for those of you who fully trust your HP (and I know that is a whole lot of you) or even partially trust your HP, do you beleive that everything that is done i...

captcodee · captcodee

I just want to post an update on my situation. This is how the power of the program works... I posted yesterday about asking my husband not to come home (on Valentine's day) I received so much support on my feelings, that I actually started to think clearly again. He came home anyways.&nbs...

sandie123 · sandie123

The strong and solitary tree Stood high upon the hill It showed its strength and beauty Its shadows oh so still The people came and overtook That pretty tree one night It only had its sun burnt limbs To fight with all its might The tree did loose The axes won The tr...

kitty · kitty

I was told something that hurt me in chat last night and it is very important for me to talk about. Someone that doesn't knw me, made some accusations about my personal relationship with mother. My mother has always been the alove of my life. She has idealized me when I did what she...

doxie · doxie

As all/most of you know, I am having a rough time right now while waiting for the court sentencing of my A/son. To try to help myself and to try to gain some control over me..... Just for today..... I will be unfraid. Especially, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe as...

Amanda · Amanda

Well it's now officially been a month my A has been clean, after having returned from a very intensive rehab program that not only included antibuse, extreme aversion therapy, electroshock and more! He has been slow in getting off the couch though, attributing the lack of energy to his meds, weight l...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

I had such a crappy day yesterday obsessing over my "a" and this person he's with. So I made the choice to go to a therapy session with our counselor last night. I just let it all out even letting her know that he is not sober and I'm still living with active alcoholism and denial. She sa...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New Member Here (Preview) I am married to an alcoholic. This is my second marriage to an addict. I struggle constantly with the notion of leaving, but financially that just isn't feasible. He is not physically abusive. Every day he starts drinking as soon as he gets home from work; he stops when he passes out late in the night. If...	Sondee	11	527	Feb 19, 2006 by Sondee
	my chip (Preview) I had been pretty excited about my upcoming 1 year Alanon birthday for the last few weeks. I really am a cake celebrating kind of gal - so any reason for a cake is always good for me :0) We have a wonderful Alanon speakers meeting every month in our area that gives out chips for Alanon recovery. I was all exci...	sparkette	4	1123	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	told my kids! (Preview) I sat down and told my kids we are moving last night. That I am seperating from my husband. They didn't understand why. I guess I did a good job of not fighting in front of them andsheltering them from his drinking. All they were aware of was the problems with his daughter. An...	jrtjosey	7	571	Feb 18, 2006 by jrtjosey
	having a hard time (Preview) the past few days my a has been phoning me and treating me good. i was confused so today i spoke with him and asked him exactly what his motives were. i wanted to know if we were speaking and are working things out or if he is just trying to keep a hold on me. i want him to come home if he would be willing to go back t...	notsonew1111	8	455	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Tired... (Preview) Well our daily conversation has become ... ... if you can't make me happy we may as well break it off. Best I can offer her is, that I am trying to keep myself sane and that may not include keeping her entertained. "I love you but you have a drinking problem that you are not ready to d...	rtexas	5	532	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Awakening.... (Preview) I had no idea before reading the messages on this board how unoriginal my As are (ex husband and current husband). Wow! It's the same ugly face everywhere, the very same. There's no originality. (It's not even unique that I married two of them.) This realization is a breakthrough for me. It's like alco...	Sondee	3	468	Feb 18, 2006 by confused
	Adult Child? (Preview) I wonder sometimes if I should go to an Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting. My a is my boyfriend, but my father was one too. (And a Freudian psychologist. The irony is painful.) The thing is, my a is trying to get sober, slipping here and there. But I never thought of m...	paintthinnr	2	545	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Boundaries (Preview) Someone tell me about "boundaries"....Is there a specific alanon book that discusses them? Any info. would be great to help me learn more. -2D1S	2D1S	4	869	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	new member (Preview) Just wanted to introduce my self I am a 47 yr old father of 3 girls.My wife of 21 yrs has been battling with alcholism for the past 10 yrs.I spent some time today in the chat room and am looking forward to my first meeting the people I met were fantastic.hope to chat again soon	papa brunsk	5	443	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Should I be impressed... (Preview) A cut her drinking from 12-14 beers a day to 7 or so and asks me "are you happy"? I told her I'm not counting any more. 7, 12 or 20... her irrational behavior is the same, so it doesn't matter to me. A decided to have dinner at my folks for a send off diner for my brother.&...	rtexas	8	497	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	i'm feeling weak! (Preview) i am not speaking to my dad, but i miss him. i refuse to call him! but i am starting to feel weak. i wonder if maybe i should call him. the problem is that my dad doesn't like confrentaion and avoids anything that is negative. he is in denial as well. if i call him, he's going to act like nothing is wrong (like...	flintfeet	4	456	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Now AA are manipulating me...HELP!!! (Preview) Well my A made contact by using a phone number he knew I would answer! Asked me what had he done wrong? Why was I punishing him?Why am I destroying his hope and love? Says he has absolutely no idea what he is supposed to have done wrong. Told me that after I apologised and he refused my apology he had second...	chris52	11	664	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	Can't believe it or really yes i can (Preview) I have waited very patiently for the last for years for my ex who is an A to pay his child support. In Dec of last year i sent in the papers to have him garnished as he has been working for the last year at his job and i have seen no form of support. Well I guess they have started to garnish him becaus...	bd	4	489	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	A improving.... (Preview) It appears A's bloodwork is getting back under control. He is getting out of ICU today and in to a regular room. Now his only immediate problems are the pneumonia and his blood pressure. They've been trying to get his BP down for almost a week with not much luck. Tonight is my son's concert in St. Loui...	Christy	3	471	Feb 18, 2006 by maresie
	I don't understand why he hates me now? (Preview) Okay, my AH left me and my kids, wants to start his life over in another state, when he left here, we had kissed him goodbye, he loved me etc etc. He relapsed out there, decided to not come back blah blah blah...... Anyway, I haven't spoken to him for weeks now because it's so upsetting talking to h...	sdisnie	14	817	Feb 18, 2006 by Sondee
	how do you get Balance in your life? recovery/fun vs other fun (Preview) Ive been focusing on my recovery for a few months now. Its time to get some fun back into my life! Not that recovery cant be fun. But what else do you do in your life that isnt related to recovery? How do you step away? Could be that its winter and I have a hard time dealing with not getting outside!	Barbara	2	406	Feb 18, 2006 by lin0606
	feedback if you wouldn't mind.. (Preview) Ok, so my A just hit a recovery button on me, and I don't have a sponser so I'd like to take a check here. Cliff notes story on the background. NJ's new 'digital' license requires documentation for all name changes. Her naturalization papers were lost from storage at her sisters years ago. Now she ne...	bobump	12	710	Feb 18, 2006 by chris52
	little vent sorta (Preview) Took A to his doc. app. for SS. His "friend" was home. I don't know why he did not ask him to take him. I have to drive from another town to take him. He is dead walking. NO life, no spark, no word. no how are you's hows gma nothing. I don't care. my guts are a mess. him, gma, squatters..ick it i...	debilyn	4	588	Feb 18, 2006 by cdb
	To Notsonew and Rebecca - and anyone else who needs it (Preview) Hey guys, I know both of you are in the same position I am in - staying away from our A's who we loved so much and needed in our lives. We've been through the ringer and the rollercoaster of I love you's and I hate you's. I have been playing the same song everyday in my car on the way to work to keep me f...	Cyn	2	441	Feb 18, 2006 by cdb
	theres a BIIIG diference between me and evil (Preview) You are reading from the book Today's Gift </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=2121>. Shame-filled people feel that something is wrong at their very core. It is a sense of being bad . . .. --Susan Kwiecien Nobody is rotten to the core. Whenever we start to believe we are bad all the...	rosie light shines	4	475	Feb 18, 2006 by rosie light shines
	Good Grief Enabling! (Preview) ((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))), So many newbies ask us to give them an example of enabling. The past couple of days, I have some of the best examples in my comic strip. I have been a Peanuts fan since the beginning of time. (Remember I'm older than dirt.) So everyday I go to www.snoopy.com f...	Karilynn	2	512	Feb 17, 2006 by nikkilou
	Porn Addiction (Preview) I have a friend of mine that found out that her boyfriend is going on to web sites for porn. Does anyone know of a message board similar to this one that she can access?	Nettie	10	1291	Feb 17, 2006 by ashraven
	Music that hit me (Preview) So I got a new CD and unlike my children, I choose to listen to the entire CD instead of just the one song that I originally purchased it for. On this CD there is a song that just hit me. I thought I would share. When my A becomes unrealistic in his thinking and frustrates me beyond words....	Nettie	1	437	Feb 17, 2006 by rtexas
	What is next? (Preview) My A wife was let go from her job of 14 years in September 2005. After a two week binge she agreed to go to 3 months of rehab. This was the second rehab this year. When she returned in January she returned to drinking again. Now she sleeps in the guest bedroom, wakes...	jeeves	3	598	Feb 17, 2006 by canadianguy
	Forgot to mention... (Preview) Along with the pneumonia some tests came back that look pretty serious.. I forgot to mention....(my brain is out to lunch) A's ammonia levels in his blood are very high. His liver is not functioning correctly and ammonia backs up in to his kidney. I don't know exactly what an SGOT test stands for, b...	Christy	5	447	Feb 17, 2006 by bobump
	I really messed up big time (Preview) I'm in a really bad place right now.Any progress I thought I was making is right oout of the window.Sorry-this is going to be a long post. I am English but living in Turkey.My A has a history of using violence when drunk and the police have beeen involved three times now. We finished after the last bout and...	chris52	7	614	Feb 17, 2006 by jrtjosey
	what to do-I'M LOST! (Preview) i am feeling torn b/c of my situation with my dad. we have broken off all contact with him. i feel bad about it quite often. the thing is that i know he doesn't care. that feels so horrible to feel that i am that disposable! my sis tells me not to feel bad, it's not my fault, and when he wants to be a part of...	flintfeet	2	416	Feb 17, 2006 by doxie
	update #2 (Preview) My A has stopped hallucinating (4 days worth), and he slept for 16 hrs. Today he is still very lethargic but does know who we are for the fist time since early Sunday. He has pneumonia and his blood pressure is still not under control. He also had an MRI today and that looked good. It looks like the initia...	Christy	5	512	Feb 17, 2006 by chris52
	Running under falling anvils? (Preview) Hi gang... So while on vacation, I met this guy that I am attracted to - funny, intelligent, sexy, etc. Then I found out he's recovering A. He is in the other program, but I have some questions, especially for you long-timers ( I'm coming up on my 2 year chip next month.) Is it unwise to even cons...	MarylandVol	3	443	Feb 17, 2006 by MarylandVol
	help (Preview) Help someone please, cant access chatroom, keep gettin an error message saying security exception cant access irc.mipchat.net	Picowitch	5	506	Feb 17, 2006 by flumpy
	Choices (Preview) Choices -This was the topic of my last two face to face meetings (both nights in a row) After a topic is given I take it with me to reflect on. I was given a choice to attend an Al-Anon Conference. I was second guessing my ‘choice’ to go. Someone asked me if I was going for the Al-Anon or for the friends. I l...	tea2	4	434	Feb 16, 2006 by leo
	new member (Preview) I am a new member, and I need some advise. We are doing an intervention on my 30-year-old son Monday and I am scared to death! I am afraid he will never speak to me again, but he is using and killing himself and I dont know what else to do. Has anyone done this? I guess I need a comfor...	izzymom	6	492	Feb 16, 2006 by izzymom
	Sharing joy and revelation today (Preview) Yesterday just got better and better for me. My "a" phoned me at work just before I was ready to leave and says, Hey I had a thought, why don't I move back in for a week, save up money and then the boys can help me move into my new place. He said don't you think that would help them transition bette...	twinmom2	2	386	Feb 16, 2006 by Lunamoth
	AlAnon conventions (Preview) Where do the speakers come from? Who assigns the speakers? Do they have both speaker and discussion meetings? Are there step meetings and what steps? Are there booths (like other conventions) with "freebies"? or no because AlAnon is self-supporting?	Barbara	1	388	Feb 16, 2006 by Faith73
	Birthday Girl... (Preview) hey guys its my birthday 2day..... 25...quarter of a century. i feel ancient thanks to all of you for your support, love and most importantly your friendship in the last number of months.. YE as a group were there for me throu thick and thin...im very gateful to all of you.. and ye should b...	Rebecca	9	450	Feb 16, 2006 by Flora123
	mother is not making sense - I want to support her (Preview) OMG! This lady does not make sense! I understand she has alot on her plate right now with my younger brother being in jail and facing rehab, etc. She's telling me 1/2 stories, starts on 1 thing and changes to another, etc, etc. I want to listen to her but she's not making sense. How much am I suppose to get in...	Barbara	0	358	Feb 16, 2006 by Barbara
	Is 4th step discovery/work continuous or is it all at once? (Preview) Is it actually step 10 that we do step 4 continuously? There are certain things I think of that can be considered Step 4. These arent thought of all at once.	Barbara	1	380	Feb 16, 2006 by abbyal
	Lies (Preview) I have been in denial for a long time, pretending all the bad things haven't happened and praying each day that things will get better. Yesterday my daughter asked my A if he still loved me, he said I do but mommy is being mean to him. This broke my heart, I have been reading a wonderful b...	Anttay	3	641	Feb 16, 2006 by Anttay
	Going back tonight (Preview) I am going to my second alanon meeting tonight. I can't believe I have let so much time lapse. But it was my birthday and then I got the stomach flu, so I wasn't really able to leave the house much. I am trying a step meeting tonight. I don't know that I am on any step yet, maybe just...	paintthinnr	2	439	Feb 16, 2006 by just me
	The rug is being pulled out from under me (Preview) I was accepted to go through a women's entrepreneur training program. After I was accepted I had my family if they would watch my daughter 3 evenings per week until the end of March when I would graduate. They said they would do it, no problem. Then the put downs and nasty phonecalls started about how I wa...	kissers	7	490	Feb 16, 2006 by Diva
	Accepting Support (Preview) I drove to work this morning after the tough week I had. My A relapsed and I let him know how unacceptable this is right now in my life. That my plate is so full stuff is dripping off the edges and he needs to pull himself together. My mom had breast cancer 10 years ago and now they have fou...	marmare	2	401	Feb 16, 2006 by leo
	I made progress...I think (Preview) Yesterday I sold my husband's dog for him. The dog had begun snapping at our two year old and I was afraid to have it around. My husband said he wanted to buy some shoes and a few other things with the money. Usually I would take the money and go buy what he needs so he doesn't have any cash...	Powerless	1	398	Feb 16, 2006 by jrtjosey
	"Focus on yourself instead of your A" (Preview) Its starting to make more sense. Not only take care of myself emotionally, spiritually and physically but to start feeling my emotions. Instead of thinking "Hes just so aggravating" its time to own those feelings "He make me feel bad" when he --- What is this AlAnon journey? a series of revelations...	Barbara	1	634	Feb 16, 2006 by CAM0914
	ever just look at your A husband and just know not to even bother talking? (Preview) Its been that way for a while now. Its at the point when I have something to say to him I go down in the basement where he "lives", take one look at him and turn around. I see in his eyes that he's been drinking and I know that the next morning he wont remember a word I say so I may as well forget it! Just came home...	Barbara	5	557	Feb 16, 2006 by Powerless
	I went back to a meeting that I attended back in Oct (Preview) Its a step meeting. I go to a Sat meeting where we break into 3 groups - begineer, discussion and step. I had sat in on Steps 2 and 3 in the past at that meeting. Tonights meeting happened to be on Step 4. Geesch guess Im meant to listen in on the steps!	Barbara	3	454	Feb 16, 2006 by abbyal
	Update (Preview) Hi (((friends)))) First I want to to thank everyone for their prayers and phone calls. You all ar so important to me at this time. My hubby is still in ICU. As of yesterday he still did not know me, still climbing the walls and hallucinating. I'm also very grateful for my kids. They have truly ralli...	Christy	2	585	Feb 15, 2006 by bobump
	dying alone... (Preview) *my parents are divorced (for 6yrs now). my mom left b/c she asked my dad to choose her or drinking. he chose drinking. my mom has no respect for my dad and just has a negative attitude about him.* *my dad and i have always been close. but now, i do not have any contact with him b/c of his actions and how h...*	flintfeet	1	440	Feb 15, 2006 by Jayda
	Pofu stop here (Preview) I just wanted to give you a way to get in touch with me outside the chat room since we seem to have so much on common. I hope you are doing well. Take care!! amy	amy123	2	476	Feb 15, 2006 by amy123
	Scapegoating - define it please (Preview) What exactly is scapegoating? The Church I attend just sent a flyer asking parishioners to attend a Sun 2hr meeting. What does scapegoating mean to you? Im considering going. Thank you	Barbara	1	621	Feb 15, 2006 by flintfeet
	A/son jail update (Preview) Just wanted to give a quick update and get this down and out of my head. A/sons lawyer called me this morning. I have to be a character witness. Court is the 23rd of Feb. He told me that the max sentence for what son is charged with is 10 years in the state pen. The State's Attorney is asking for 4 years, an...	doxie	9	473	Feb 15, 2006 by mamasan
	My very special Day after Valentine's memory (Preview) Three years ago (wow, already) my Grandfather passed away on Feb 17. He was the most special person in my life! The last time I talked to him, he called the day after Valentine's to wish me a happy valentine's day. I was seperated from the alcoholic in my life at the time. When I corrected him...	captcodee	1	443	Feb 15, 2006 by marmare
	Hurtful (Preview) So, I'm really starting to feel this now. This is the second day this week where all I want to do is cry. Sleep and cry, sounds like a plan. The A calls all mad today because he has to pick the kids up from school, an hour early on top of it because school is done early today. He had to...	Nettie	5	580	Feb 15, 2006 by bcanuck
	A new poem of mine... (Preview) I listen to my heart I listen to the wind howling Blowing away my hair I know it is you Telling me that you care I feel your touch I hear your voice When all I have to do is make that one choice Just to listen to my heart I am throwing the dart ...	Lauren ashley	7	600	Feb 15, 2006 by Flora123
	HP take me away... HELP PLEASE! (Preview) I am working of giving things up to my HP. Trust has always been an issue with me and I am struggling with it here. I was wondering for those of you who fully trust your HP (and I know that is a whole lot of you) or even partially trust your HP, do you beleive that everything that is done i...	sandie123	9	775	Feb 15, 2006 by paintthinnr
	Thank you all for your ESH yesterday (Preview) I just want to post an update on my situation. This is how the power of the program works... I posted yesterday about asking my husband not to come home (on Valentine's day) I received so much support on my feelings, that I actually started to think clearly again. He came home anyways.&nbs...	captcodee	1	356	Feb 15, 2006 by hudsond
	Sadness... a poem i wrote (Preview) The strong and solitary tree Stood high upon the hill It showed its strength and beauty Its shadows oh so still The people came and overtook That pretty tree one night It only had its sun burnt limbs To fight with all its might The tree did loose The axes won The tr...	sandie123	3	655	Feb 15, 2006 by Lauren ashley
	the love of my life (Preview) I was told something that hurt me in chat last night and it is very important for me to talk about. Someone that doesn't knw me, made some accusations about my personal relationship with mother. My mother has always been the alove of my life. She has idealized me when I did what she...	kitty	9	581	Feb 15, 2006 by kitty
	Just For Today (Preview) As all/most of you know, I am having a rough time right now while waiting for the court sentencing of my A/son. To try to help myself and to try to gain some control over me..... Just for today..... I will be unfraid. Especially, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe as...	doxie	3	412	Feb 15, 2006 by kismetstrand
	One Month (Preview) Well it's now officially been a month my A has been clean, after having returned from a very intensive rehab program that not only included antibuse, extreme aversion therapy, electroshock and more! He has been slow in getting off the couch though, attributing the lack of energy to his meds, weight l...	Amanda	3	466	Feb 15, 2006 by captcodee
	A little ray of hope and me today (Preview) I had such a crappy day yesterday obsessing over my "a" and this person he's with. So I made the choice to go to a therapy session with our counselor last night. I just let it all out even letting her know that he is not sober and I'm still living with active alcoholism and denial. She sa...	twinmom2	2	473	Feb 15, 2006 by captcodee
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.