Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

seachange · seachange

Quote | ReplyBack from my sister's funeral Hello everyone! I'm back from the UK where I went to be with all the family gathered for my sister's funeral. It was an amazing week--I saw more family together than I've seen in several years. Lots of laughter and reminiscences as well as...

Kim · Kim

Hello all: I just wanted to share a story of an experience I had this past week that shook me to the core. I work for an agency that houses persons who suffer from either mental illness or chemical abuse or both. I deal with over 96 households who are suffering in some capacity.&n...

mel123 · mel123

We gave our 19 year old son until Wednesday this past week to find a place to live. I had packed up all of his things last weekend. He has been uable to follow our house rules, which are that he remain clean and sober,stay in recovery and home by curfew, unless prior arrangements have b...

kitty · kitty

Aside from learning to apply self-love, as a sick ACOA & codie which took me over 37 yrs to be ready & willing to understand & apply to me, truly everything happens in God’s time & there are no coincidences. I have found nothing in this Program of spirituality has been more p...

whitie · whitie

As I mentally planned to leave my A husband in Oct. I didn't talk about it with anyone but two very trusted friends and Ala-non friends. I told family when the time came very close for me to make my move. My siblings were all behind me and helped me move. On the other hand my cousin who lives on the east co...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, My husband and I had a talk tonight and as usual he threw all blame to me. He is back at his Mothers. I have tried being compassionate, I have tried to giv ehim leeway and be understanding. I have tried to not get angry when he is always over doing things at her house. I understand that she needs the he...

kitty · kitty

I am missing my mother very much but I cannot force her to want to share herself with me or know me. She raised me single handedly & was my best friend for many years, as long as I did as she wanted. I have worked hard to break this co-die relationship w/ her since Spetmember. After her ye...

roxannejharris · roxannejharris

I guess I am not really sure where to start out. I just need some advice. I am 24 years old and have a 6 month old daughter. My daughters father and I have been together for 3 years on and off because of his drinking. His drinking has gotten better from drinking every night now down to usually 2 nights a week. ...

bobump · bobump

Well, yesterday my A went out w/ my 15yo to look for a new dog. As a sidebar, we already have two, money is tight, they aren't licensed they don't always get heartworm meds, etc. Makes no sense to add another one. This gave me a chance to tell my 9yo that someone was coming to the house an...

bobump · bobump

Well today was interesting. Friday, my son told the his school counselor that he was afraid of his mom. That triggered her to call dyfs to let them know. I met w/ her and my son. I don't think he is afraid of physical harm but only anger, but then again he came home to see that my A had brok...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I got a "Delivery Confirmation" letter in the mail today to my oldest son (15) Inside was a letter to him and the other letter was to my other 3 kids. He basically wrote in both of them how sorry he was for what he's done, but he has a terrible disease which makes him do bad things and that it's no...

Barbara · Barbara

not sure what the outcome will be. He'll be brought to the courthouse on Mon night - he's already asked my mother to release him on bail. He's suppose to appear in front of the judge Tues morn. From there he'll either be let go (back to my mother's house), sent to a hospital for rehab/psychiatric care or se...

mamasan · mamasan

Hello everyone, I have been pretty busy lately in another group, one for prison moms thru Yahoo. Next week my son, my A, is coming home to me. He has been gone a yr now. Actually for the last three yrs he has been in jail more than out. The times he has been home have been p...

tea2 · tea2

Hello all, I am having issues with my mirc -lol it’s not agreeing w/ me… My registered nick won’t stick, however other nicks do when I need to re-connect. I was wondering if the cause is my version of mirc is 5.81 ??? I was told there is a newer one that many are using (6.16). Also wondering if because...

iona54 · iona54

The Affirmations: As I Change My Mind, I Change My Life All things work together for good for me today. I am supremely happy right here, right now, within my self, right where I am today. I am a happy, healthy, wholesome, beautiful, positive, prosperous person. &nbs...

Christy · Christy

Just thought I'd bring everyone up to date. Hubby came home yesterday afternoon and so far so good. He is still very weak and on about a gazillion meds. No kidding!! I went and picked up 14 prscriptions last night and another today. We had to go get a couple of those week long pill boxes to keep them all st...

Barbara · Barbara

do you feel like a hypocrit? Granted we can control our drinking, alot less frequent, doesnt interfere with life, etc. But do you find yourself not being able to enjoy an alcoholic drink once you realize your spouse is an alcoholic?

Becky1 · Becky1

My A husband of 5 years left Monday night screaming at me. Sent an email that he wants a divorce. Have not heard from him since. I am unable to go to work, and am stressed about my job being there when I get back. Hub was court ordered into counseling which ins. will not pay for, and he can't afford the house pm...

Lindy · Lindy

My alcoholic husband was actually doing okay for a couple of weeks. He was drinking, but he was not drunk or rude to me. Of course I could see the small changes last night and the cycle starting all over again. He must have been sitting in a bar for awhile yesterday while I was working. He's still laid off an...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - February 22 I found a carrot and two lumps of coal on my sidewalk and wondered what they were doing there. I thought it odd. Suddenly remembering that a snowman once stood on that place, I chuckled at my own suspicious thoughts. Even so, I had an eerie feeling of something st...

codependentme · codependentme

Hi everyone. I am just wondering if this is the right place for me. I will try to be brief. I am not with an alcoholic or addict, but with a mentally ill/personality disordered person, who used to use cocaine and alcohol but has not in many years. I am codependent and grew up with an abusive alcoholi...

leo · leo

Just wanted to thank everyone for their prayers and to let you know that there is definitely a higher power. My friend is still with us for the time being and now has her husband by her side in the city. I spoke to him today and told him how much is wife loved him and that I knew he loved her just as...

kitty · kitty

All I can do, is focus on me, control me & change me. Sad for this to be so difficult & guilt laden for us but it still takes me some work & hard focus some days, to just allow myself to consider my wants, needs & desires. It gets easier with practise, just like forgiveness. ...

Kim · Kim

Hello all: Yesterday my A had an appoinment with the gastoenterologist to get the results of his Hep C blood work. While he was in treatment he was given an antibody test that came back positive. Upon the confirmatory it was found to be NEGATIVE. Whic hwas great news. He wi...

doxie · doxie

Someone in chat the other day said that they knew of a good group for Moms/families of prisoners. Does anyone remember who that was, or does anyone have any websites or groups they could recommend? Today is proving to be challenging. Thanks, Doxie

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I just wanted to say it is so nice to see so many new names here on the board and in chat. If you have questions here or there personal or technical don't be afraid to ask ask. You can ask them privately by clicking on any of our names and you will have the option to speak one on one. once aga...

Barbara · Barbara

Ok I really dont mind my son being home for school vacation. Dont need to get out the door 2.5hrs earlier than I leave for work to get him to the bus. However when I come downstairs and A husband is hungover in bed (we sleep separately) it really grinds on me! He calls in sick alot on Fridays. I cant get in ther...

marcie301 · marcie301

A couple of days ago I posted about my A relapsing. We have 2 small children (1&3) and I know one time for sure he came with beer after picking our son up from preschool. Two of the bottles were empty but he swore he poured them out on the way home because he felt bad for even buying it...

bobump · bobump

I heard that those in chat at somepoint yesterday said a group prayer for me and my family. All I can say is I heard about this while the caseworker was still at my house and couldn't even think about it anymore because I didn't want to be crying as soon as I talked to the caseworker. Thank you all so much...

Powerless · Powerless

My house is finally finished. The landscapers finished today and the painters finished yesterday. My cabinets have been installed, the front door and interior doors have been replaced. I am too exhausted to enjoy it. My mother-in-law has kep the baby for two weeks while...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

The weekend is coming up, which means I will be going to my boyfriends'. He had recently quit drinking at the insistance of his father, whom he lives with. His father goes away sometimes on weekends and I stay at my bf's. Now that his father is away, I know he will want to get a bottle of...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

This past week things have been coming to a head here. I discovered the 17 year old stepdaughter is smoking and had a bottle of vodka (big size) hidden in her drawer - her 21 year old sister has been buying the cigarettes for her, my 23 year old son bought one pack for her. The 17 year old is visi...

starangel · starangel

Last April my husband let me in on his secret problem with oxycontin and cocaine abuse. I knew something was up since so much money was missing. Although I didn't notice the symptoms of abuse since he always uses while drinking. I always thought he was drunk. Well it has been...

Jill · Jill

I've known my a for 7 years. Right before the New Year, I told him all the time I've known you, the focus has been on you. It's going to be 7 years of the Year of Jill starting Jan 20056. He agreed (easy cuz nothing changes if...). Nearly the end of February, and it hit me, the focus is still on him. I have rece...

Picowitch · Picowitch

Well, after a 6 month separation, and a lot of soul searching and taking care of me I decided to take the risk and see how it goes, and told hubby on Friday that he could come home. As soon as I said it I thought oh god what have I set myself up for - I can see changes in him and as far as I am aware he has only had 1 sl...

flintfeet · flintfeet

today is a bad day for me. no reason in paticular, but i just am worrying about my dad. i love him sooooo much!! i know that he loves me, too. but his drinking hurts me so much that i have detached myself from him. i refuse to support him and hold his hand while his life goes to sh*t. i wish i could jus...

hudsond · hudsond

Well I got a couple of the Getting Them Sober books--the first and fourth ones. I have been reading on them for the past few days. I ordered them a couple of weeks ago. Anyway--after a few more yucky days, he has decided again that he is through with the drugs--the last time "was enoug...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

Suddenly Life is again a seed I am slipping further and further away from you For I do not know what else to do I am always feeling persistently blue Surrounded by darkness yearning for the light There is a tunnel ahead It calls my name It is time for me to go It is not you to blame ...

Becky1 · Becky1

This is a song by Carrie Underwood, and the lyrics fit so well what we alanon members need to do.....so here it is..I've been thinking about this song lately due to my current situation..I am powerless.... She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati On a snow white Christmas Eve Going ho...

figaro · figaro

My sister in law advised me that my brother has threatened suicide three times this month, including today. She is scared and wants me to talk to him. I spoke with him regarding her concern. He told me that she violated confidentiality and that I should not worry. He told me t...

leo · leo

Hi everyone, My very good friend is at the moment going through the final stages of her life as it is on this earth with cancer. She is in a lot of pain and now 1300kms away in the city away from family and friends. This lady lives with her husband (a drinker) who is not able to be by her side bec...

paintthinnr · paintthinnr

I have heard much talk about slogans, but where do you find them/learn them? Anyone have any favorites?

sweetums · sweetums

Well I noticed the funniest thing. When he calls me or texts me, I feel like a kind of justification and like I am really 'doing' something here for myself. When he doesn't I feel lonely and like 'what's the point?' Why the heck does what I am doing here in my own house have to hinge upon what he...

terascot · terascot

My husband is a recovering addict/alcoholic. He also struggles with chronic pain, and sometimes overuses his pain meds (in my opinion.) I try to "detach" from his slogged demeanor on those occassions, but it really bothers me to see him that way. It reminds me of when I was young and my dad was drunk. I f...

marmare · marmare

Has anybody heard from Dolphin? Hugs Mary

rtexas · rtexas

This is a pamphalet handed to me today at my first f2f meeting ever. I nearly burst into tears as I read this booklet written 4 years after I was born about what is happening in my life today. To all of you who kept saying get ye to a meeting.... THANK YOU! It was a steps meeting, but all I cou...

Christy · Christy

A was "supposed" to come home today... I just called him and asked what time I should pick him up. He said Dr. wants him one more day. BP is back up and ammonia level in blood is rising again. Poor guy. The good thing is I can meet with my Sponsor, I always do on Thursdays and was not able to last week. ...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Well, since what he said yesterday (what I wrote in my last post), I haven't heard from him again regarding it. But he did call my friend today and to her he sounded a bit annoyed. He wanted to know what I wanted to do, and she said that I didn't know, I was very confused. Then he said I was...

marcie301 · marcie301

I have been reading and benefitting from everyone's post's since I found this site a few weeks ago but this is the first time I've posted. I attended f2f meetings a few years ago as I have several A's in my life. The one I have the biggest frustration with is my husband. He has been doing AA a...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Clearing Your Space For Change In life, we tend to have an easier time acquiring possessions than we do getting rid of them. Just as we harbor emotional baggage that is difficult to let go of, our lives can tend to be filled with material objects that we may feel compelled to hold on to. Most...

bobump · bobump

I must be making some progress. Cause I'm going to ask something that I normally would not reach out for. Tomorrow around 5pm eastern is the scheduled visit for dyfs (child services). If I could impose on anyone that would feel inclined to pray that I am doing god's work, that how I'm h...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

(((((Roomies)))))), I could really use some ES&H on this issue. I find that I really struggle both with resentments and the desire to retaliate if I feel injured by someone close to me. If I feel hurt, I tend to want to hurt back. The retaliations are "minor"--silent treatment, sulking, retrea...

Emafer · Emafer

So I"m not allowed to control my alcoholics. I'm not allowed to control the people around me. I can control my feelings and my actions. So I want to redecorate my house. However I live with 2 roommates. And for the alst 6 months I've been putting things off in order to make them happy. In the meantime we h...

maresie · maresie

Well I have spent the last two days in bed a lot because my house is freezing. The A has not arranged with the landlord the heating stuff he was supposed to. I really went all out before Christmas to get the landlord to agree to a new heater. The A is supposed to provide him a few simple measurements ca...

megan · megan

Here is an interesting recovery parable I heard a story about a woman walking across a high bridge, on her journey. She saw someone coming to her but could not make anything out or who it was. As this person got closer she saw that he had something tied around his waist but again could not make out what...

sweetums · sweetums

amazingly, an Ozzy song.... Been around this world so many times If you could only see my mind I watch my secret heaven turn to hell Faith alone has guided me The ghost of my own destiny I haven’t even got a soul to sell All the thing I put me through I wouldn’t wish my hell on you Yo...

chris52 · chris52

Another sleepless night,doing the usual round of "what if's?" and brought myself up short by telling myself that I can spend days or weeks or months analysing where it's all gone wrong.....but the end result is I am where I am....I KNOW how I got here and no amount of "wishing things could have gone diff...

Barbara · Barbara

someone at last nights F2F read this page - I came to AlAnon confused about what was and was not my responsibility. Today after lots of Step work, I believe I am responsible for the following: to be loyal to my values, to please myself first, to keep an open mind, to detach with love, to rid myself of ange...

Emafer · Emafer

I recently got chided by an AA friend for not letting an ex-boyfriend make amends to me. I explained that I have no communication with this person for a reason and just beucase they've been sober for 5 month is no reason for me to get all emotionally involved with someone that I don't see as having a lot to o...

Becky1 · Becky1

After almost 9 years relationship, and 5 years of marriage, he wants out. The alcohol is in control. Last year, in Jan. there was an incident where he was out of control, and flinging his arms around, and accidentally hit my nose and caused it to bleed. I became hysterical, filed charges, his mot...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Back from my sister's funeral (Preview) Quote \| ReplyBack from my sister's funeral Hello everyone! I'm back from the UK where I went to be with all the family gathered for my sister's funeral. It was an amazing week--I saw more family together than I've seen in several years. Lots of laughter and reminiscences as well as...	seachange	6	503	Feb 27, 2006 by seachange
	death of an A (Preview) Hello all: I just wanted to share a story of an experience I had this past week that shook me to the core. I work for an agency that houses persons who suffer from either mental illness or chemical abuse or both. I deal with over 96 households who are suffering in some capacity.&n...	Kim	6	574	Feb 27, 2006 by bobump
	Our dilemma.... (Preview) We gave our 19 year old son until Wednesday this past week to find a place to live. I had packed up all of his things last weekend. He has been uable to follow our house rules, which are that he remain clean and sober,stay in recovery and home by curfew, unless prior arrangements have b...	mel123	8	487	Feb 27, 2006 by mel123
	forgiveness (Preview) Aside from learning to apply self-love, as a sick ACOA & codie which took me over 37 yrs to be ready & willing to understand & apply to me, truly everything happens in God’s time & there are no coincidences. I have found nothing in this Program of spirituality has been more p...	kitty	2	466	Feb 26, 2006 by Maria123
	With family like this who needs enemies?? (Preview) As I mentally planned to leave my A husband in Oct. I didn't talk about it with anyone but two very trusted friends and Ala-non friends. I told family when the time came very close for me to make my move. My siblings were all behind me and helped me move. On the other hand my cousin who lives on the east co...	whitie	7	497	Feb 26, 2006 by lin0606
	Am I too Anal? (Preview) Hi, My husband and I had a talk tonight and as usual he threw all blame to me. He is back at his Mothers. I have tried being compassionate, I have tried to giv ehim leeway and be understanding. I have tried to not get angry when he is always over doing things at her house. I understand that she needs the he...	Jeannie	12	700	Feb 26, 2006 by maresie
	I miss what I thought I had (Preview) I am missing my mother very much but I cannot force her to want to share herself with me or know me. She raised me single handedly & was my best friend for many years, as long as I did as she wanted. I have worked hard to break this co-die relationship w/ her since Spetmember. After her ye...	kitty	3	507	Feb 26, 2006 by maresie
	What do you think? NEED HELP! (Preview) I guess I am not really sure where to start out. I just need some advice. I am 24 years old and have a 6 month old daughter. My daughters father and I have been together for 3 years on and off because of his drinking. His drinking has gotten better from drinking every night now down to usually 2 nights a week. ...	roxannejharris	9	525	Feb 26, 2006 by maresie
	dyfs update - THANK YOU ALL ! (Preview) Well, yesterday my A went out w/ my 15yo to look for a new dog. As a sidebar, we already have two, money is tight, they aren't licensed they don't always get heartworm meds, etc. Makes no sense to add another one. This gave me a chance to tell my 9yo that someone was coming to the house an...	bobump	11	696	Feb 26, 2006 by maresie
	update for today (Preview) Well today was interesting. Friday, my son told the his school counselor that he was afraid of his mom. That triggered her to call dyfs to let them know. I met w/ her and my son. I don't think he is afraid of physical harm but only anger, but then again he came home to see that my A had brok...	bobump	7	580	Feb 26, 2006 by maresie
	I can't deal with his blaming me (Preview) I got a "Delivery Confirmation" letter in the mail today to my oldest son (15) Inside was a letter to him and the other letter was to my other 3 kids. He basically wrote in both of them how sorry he was for what he's done, but he has a terrible disease which makes him do bad things and that it's no...	sdisnie	8	694	Feb 26, 2006 by maresie
	Brother being released from Bridgewater prison this Tues (Preview) not sure what the outcome will be. He'll be brought to the courthouse on Mon night - he's already asked my mother to release him on bail. He's suppose to appear in front of the judge Tues morn. From there he'll either be let go (back to my mother's house), sent to a hospital for rehab/psychiatric care or se...	Barbara	2	447	Feb 26, 2006 by tea2
	My "A" is coming home from jail next week (Preview) Hello everyone, I have been pretty busy lately in another group, one for prison moms thru Yahoo. Next week my son, my A, is coming home to me. He has been gone a yr now. Actually for the last three yrs he has been in jail more than out. The times he has been home have been p...	mamasan	4	603	Feb 26, 2006 by mamasan
	registered nick/mirc troubles (Preview) Hello all, I am having issues with my mirc -lol it’s not agreeing w/ me… My registered nick won’t stick, however other nicks do when I need to re-connect. I was wondering if the cause is my version of mirc is 5.81 ??? I was told there is a newer one that many are using (6.16). Also wondering if because...	tea2	0	365	Feb 26, 2006 by tea2
	affirmations (Preview) The Affirmations: As I Change My Mind, I Change My Life All things work together for good for me today. I am supremely happy right here, right now, within my self, right where I am today. I am a happy, healthy, wholesome, beautiful, positive, prosperous person. &nbs...	iona54	3	552	Feb 26, 2006 by tea2
	Hubby is home... (Preview) Just thought I'd bring everyone up to date. Hubby came home yesterday afternoon and so far so good. He is still very weak and on about a gazillion meds. No kidding!! I went and picked up 14 prscriptions last night and another today. We had to go get a couple of those week long pill boxes to keep them all st...	Christy	11	553	Feb 26, 2006 by chris52
	how do you handle your own biyearly drinking once your realize your spouse is an Alcoholic? (Preview) do you feel like a hypocrit? Granted we can control our drinking, alot less frequent, doesnt interfere with life, etc. But do you find yourself not being able to enjoy an alcoholic drink once you realize your spouse is an alcoholic?	Barbara	11	699	Feb 26, 2006 by roygbiv
	Confused and Hurting (Preview) My A husband of 5 years left Monday night screaming at me. Sent an email that he wants a divorce. Have not heard from him since. I am unable to go to work, and am stressed about my job being there when I get back. Hub was court ordered into counseling which ins. will not pay for, and he can't afford the house pm...	Becky1	7	523	Feb 25, 2006 by iona54
	Little hints of cut downs last night (Preview) My alcoholic husband was actually doing okay for a couple of weeks. He was drinking, but he was not drunk or rude to me. Of course I could see the small changes last night and the cycle starting all over again. He must have been sitting in a bar for awhile yesterday while I was working. He's still laid off an...	Lindy	5	616	Feb 25, 2006 by maresie
	feeling crappy can be GOOD!!!! (Preview) Hope for Today - February 22 I found a carrot and two lumps of coal on my sidewalk and wondered what they were doing there. I thought it odd. Suddenly remembering that a snowman once stood on that place, I chuckled at my own suspicious thoughts. Even so, I had an eerie feeling of something st...	rosie light shines	6	398	Feb 25, 2006 by Robinks
	new, is this the place for me? Please read. (Preview) Hi everyone. I am just wondering if this is the right place for me. I will try to be brief. I am not with an alcoholic or addict, but with a mentally ill/personality disordered person, who used to use cocaine and alcohol but has not in many years. I am codependent and grew up with an abusive alcoholi...	codependentme	12	572	Feb 25, 2006 by Jayda
	prayer update (Preview) Just wanted to thank everyone for their prayers and to let you know that there is definitely a higher power. My friend is still with us for the time being and now has her husband by her side in the city. I spoke to him today and told him how much is wife loved him and that I knew he loved her just as...	leo	7	465	Feb 25, 2006 by leo
	Surrender (Preview) All I can do, is focus on me, control me & change me. Sad for this to be so difficult & guilt laden for us but it still takes me some work & hard focus some days, to just allow myself to consider my wants, needs & desires. It gets easier with practise, just like forgiveness. ...	kitty	4	551	Feb 25, 2006 by jrtjosey
	good news and a lesson from HP (Preview) Hello all: Yesterday my A had an appoinment with the gastoenterologist to get the results of his Hep C blood work. While he was in treatment he was given an antibody test that came back positive. Upon the confirmatory it was found to be NEGATIVE. Whic hwas great news. He wi...	Kim	1	474	Feb 25, 2006 by jrtjosey
	Prison (Preview) Someone in chat the other day said that they knew of a good group for Moms/families of prisoners. Does anyone remember who that was, or does anyone have any websites or groups they could recommend? Today is proving to be challenging. Thanks, Doxie	doxie	4	566	Feb 25, 2006 by Andrea12
	Welcome newcomers (Preview) I just wanted to say it is so nice to see so many new names here on the board and in chat. If you have questions here or there personal or technical don't be afraid to ask ask. You can ask them privately by clicking on any of our names and you will have the option to speak one on one. once aga...	jrtjosey	0	370	Feb 25, 2006 by jrtjosey
	hard to get into that morning routine when A husband is laying in bed hungover (Preview) Ok I really dont mind my son being home for school vacation. Dont need to get out the door 2.5hrs earlier than I leave for work to get him to the bus. However when I come downstairs and A husband is hungover in bed (we sleep separately) it really grinds on me! He calls in sick alot on Fridays. I cant get in ther...	Barbara	6	695	Feb 25, 2006 by Jeannie
	what would you do? (Preview) A couple of days ago I posted about my A relapsing. We have 2 small children (1&3) and I know one time for sure he came with beer after picking our son up from preschool. Two of the bottles were empty but he swore he poured them out on the way home because he felt bad for even buying it...	marcie301	6	589	Feb 25, 2006 by Jeannie
	chat room prayer (Preview) I heard that those in chat at somepoint yesterday said a group prayer for me and my family. All I can say is I heard about this while the caseworker was still at my house and couldn't even think about it anymore because I didn't want to be crying as soon as I talked to the caseworker. Thank you all so much...	bobump	4	2629	Feb 25, 2006 by mastiff
	Busy week (Preview) My house is finally finished. The landscapers finished today and the painters finished yesterday. My cabinets have been installed, the front door and interior doors have been replaced. I am too exhausted to enjoy it. My mother-in-law has kep the baby for two weeks while...	Powerless	4	400	Feb 25, 2006 by jrtjosey
	Not sure what to do - Advice? (Preview) The weekend is coming up, which means I will be going to my boyfriends'. He had recently quit drinking at the insistance of his father, whom he lives with. His father goes away sometimes on weekends and I stay at my bf's. Now that his father is away, I know he will want to get a bottle of...	paintthinnr	9	557	Feb 25, 2006 by maresie
	Nervous Breakdown - Self Care (Preview) This past week things have been coming to a head here. I discovered the 17 year old stepdaughter is smoking and had a bottle of vodka (big size) hidden in her drawer - her 21 year old sister has been buying the cigarettes for her, my 23 year old son bought one pack for her. The 17 year old is visi...	kismetstrand	13	856	Feb 25, 2006 by maresie
	I guess I just need some opinions..... (Preview) Last April my husband let me in on his secret problem with oxycontin and cocaine abuse. I knew something was up since so much money was missing. Although I didn't notice the symptoms of abuse since he always uses while drinking. I always thought he was drunk. Well it has been...	starangel	8	730	Feb 25, 2006 by Diva
	The Year of Me (Preview) I've known my a for 7 years. Right before the New Year, I told him all the time I've known you, the focus has been on you. It's going to be 7 years of the Year of Jill starting Jan 20056. He agreed (easy cuz nothing changes if...). Nearly the end of February, and it hit me, the focus is still on him. I have rece...	Jill	6	517	Feb 25, 2006 by Jill
	I took the risk (Preview) Well, after a 6 month separation, and a lot of soul searching and taking care of me I decided to take the risk and see how it goes, and told hubby on Friday that he could come home. As soon as I said it I thought oh god what have I set myself up for - I can see changes in him and as far as I am aware he has only had 1 sl...	Picowitch	7	524	Feb 25, 2006 by sandie123
	is this weird? (Preview) today is a bad day for me. no reason in paticular, but i just am worrying about my dad. i love him sooooo much!! i know that he loves me, too. but his drinking hurts me so much that i have detached myself from him. i refuse to support him and hold his hand while his life goes to sh*t. i wish i could jus...	flintfeet	3	554	Feb 25, 2006 by lin0606
	found book I was reading (Preview) Well I got a couple of the Getting Them Sober books--the first and fourth ones. I have been reading on them for the past few days. I ordered them a couple of weeks ago. Anyway--after a few more yucky days, he has decided again that he is through with the drugs--the last time "was enoug...	hudsond	3	545	Feb 24, 2006 by Christy
	Suddenly Life is again a seed (Preview) Suddenly Life is again a seed I am slipping further and further away from you For I do not know what else to do I am always feeling persistently blue Surrounded by darkness yearning for the light There is a tunnel ahead It calls my name It is time for me to go It is not you to blame ...	Lauren ashley	4	477	Feb 24, 2006 by Becky1
	Jesus Take the Wheel (Preview) This is a song by Carrie Underwood, and the lyrics fit so well what we alanon members need to do.....so here it is..I've been thinking about this song lately due to my current situation..I am powerless.... She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati On a snow white Christmas Eve Going ho...	Becky1	5	567	Feb 24, 2006 by Becky1
	suicide worries and AA (Preview) My sister in law advised me that my brother has threatened suicide three times this month, including today. She is scared and wants me to talk to him. I spoke with him regarding her concern. He told me that she violated confidentiality and that I should not worry. He told me t...	figaro	8	732	Feb 24, 2006 by Jeannie
	prayers please (Preview) Hi everyone, My very good friend is at the moment going through the final stages of her life as it is on this earth with cancer. She is in a lot of pain and now 1300kms away in the city away from family and friends. This lady lives with her husband (a drinker) who is not able to be by her side bec...	leo	7	665	Feb 24, 2006 by Jeannie
	Slogans? (Preview) I have heard much talk about slogans, but where do you find them/learn them? Anyone have any favorites?	paintthinnr	4	556	Feb 24, 2006 by kitty
	addicted to my A? (Preview) Well I noticed the funniest thing. When he calls me or texts me, I feel like a kind of justification and like I am really 'doing' something here for myself. When he doesn't I feel lonely and like 'what's the point?' Why the heck does what I am doing here in my own house have to hinge upon what he...	sweetums	3	529	Feb 24, 2006 by ashraven
	Detaching and Getting a Life (Preview) My husband is a recovering addict/alcoholic. He also struggles with chronic pain, and sometimes overuses his pain meds (in my opinion.) I try to "detach" from his slogged demeanor on those occassions, but it really bothers me to see him that way. It reminds me of when I was young and my dad was drunk. I f...	terascot	5	551	Feb 24, 2006 by ashraven
	Dolphin123 (Preview) Has anybody heard from Dolphin? Hugs Mary	marmare	0	411	Feb 24, 2006 by marmare
	Alcoholism, a merry-go-round named denial... (Preview) This is a pamphalet handed to me today at my first f2f meeting ever. I nearly burst into tears as I read this booklet written 4 years after I was born about what is happening in my life today. To all of you who kept saying get ye to a meeting.... THANK YOU! It was a steps meeting, but all I cou...	rtexas	3	3306	Feb 24, 2006 by kitty
	A small setback.. (Preview) A was "supposed" to come home today... I just called him and asked what time I should pick him up. He said Dr. wants him one more day. BP is back up and ammonia level in blood is rising again. Poor guy. The good thing is I can meet with my Sponsor, I always do on Thursdays and was not able to last week. ...	Christy	10	579	Feb 24, 2006 by gardengal
	Maybe he's full of S___! (Preview) Well, since what he said yesterday (what I wrote in my last post), I haven't heard from him again regarding it. But he did call my friend today and to her he sounded a bit annoyed. He wanted to know what I wanted to do, and she said that I didn't know, I was very confused. Then he said I was...	sdisnie	5	426	Feb 24, 2006 by maresie
	Now the hard part begins. (Preview) I have been reading and benefitting from everyone's post's since I found this site a few weeks ago but this is the first time I've posted. I attended f2f meetings a few years ago as I have several A's in my life. The one I have the biggest frustration with is my husband. He has been doing AA a...	marcie301	4	470	Feb 24, 2006 by maresie
	clean up my HEAD---clean up my SPACE (Preview) Clearing Your Space For Change In life, we tend to have an easier time acquiring possessions than we do getting rid of them. Just as we harbor emotional baggage that is difficult to let go of, our lives can tend to be filled with material objects that we may feel compelled to hold on to. Most...	rosie light shines	2	420	Feb 24, 2006 by maresie
	prayers pls, I must be making progress, (Preview) I must be making some progress. Cause I'm going to ask something that I normally would not reach out for. Tomorrow around 5pm eastern is the scheduled visit for dyfs (child services). If I could impose on anyone that would feel inclined to pray that I am doing god's work, that how I'm h...	bobump	9	499	Feb 24, 2006 by maresie
	Resentment & Retaliation (Preview) (((((Roomies)))))), I could really use some ES&H on this issue. I find that I really struggle both with resentments and the desire to retaliate if I feel injured by someone close to me. If I feel hurt, I tend to want to hurt back. The retaliations are "minor"--silent treatment, sulking, retrea...	BlueCloud	7	622	Feb 24, 2006 by maresie
	What CAN I control??? (Preview) So I"m not allowed to control my alcoholics. I'm not allowed to control the people around me. I can control my feelings and my actions. So I want to redecorate my house. However I live with 2 roommates. And for the alst 6 months I've been putting things off in order to make them happy. In the meantime we h...	Emafer	5	505	Feb 24, 2006 by maresie
	Detaching (Preview) Well I have spent the last two days in bed a lot because my house is freezing. The A has not arranged with the landlord the heating stuff he was supposed to. I really went all out before Christmas to get the landlord to agree to a new heater. The A is supposed to provide him a few simple measurements ca...	maresie	2	445	Feb 24, 2006 by maresie
	The bridge (Preview) Here is an interesting recovery parable I heard a story about a woman walking across a high bridge, on her journey. She saw someone coming to her but could not make anything out or who it was. As this person got closer she saw that he had something tied around his waist but again could not make out what...	megan	6	506	Feb 24, 2006 by whitie
	Heroes (Preview) amazingly, an Ozzy song.... Been around this world so many times If you could only see my mind I watch my secret heaven turn to hell Faith alone has guided me The ghost of my own destiny I haven’t even got a soul to sell All the thing I put me through I wouldn’t wish my hell on you Yo...	sweetums	1	492	Feb 23, 2006 by just me
	They told him my decision (Preview) Another sleepless night,doing the usual round of "what if's?" and brought myself up short by telling myself that I can spend days or weeks or months analysing where it's all gone wrong.....but the end result is I am where I am....I KNOW how I got here and no amount of "wishing things could have gone diff...	chris52	9	691	Feb 23, 2006 by aunitedway
	March 25 - Courage to Change (Preview) someone at last nights F2F read this page - I came to AlAnon confused about what was and was not my responsibility. Today after lots of Step work, I believe I am responsible for the following: to be loyal to my values, to please myself first, to keep an open mind, to detach with love, to rid myself of ange...	Barbara	1	3177	Feb 23, 2006 by aunitedway
	Amends? (Preview) I recently got chided by an AA friend for not letting an ex-boyfriend make amends to me. I explained that I have no communication with this person for a reason and just beucase they've been sober for 5 month is no reason for me to get all emotionally involved with someone that I don't see as having a lot to o...	Emafer	7	613	Feb 23, 2006 by Emafer
	He wants away from me now (Preview) After almost 9 years relationship, and 5 years of marriage, he wants out. The alcohol is in control. Last year, in Jan. there was an incident where he was out of control, and flinging his arms around, and accidentally hit my nose and caused it to bleed. I became hysterical, filed charges, his mot...	Becky1	6	705	Feb 23, 2006 by nmike
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.