Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

richard · richard

Well, I have helped my son financially on more time. Only this time, I told him that, that night was an eye opener for me. I told him he needs to learn to be self-supportive and not lean on me for financial support. I told him this is the last time I help him financially. He said he...

marmare · marmare

As I started thinking of Mother's Day, I started thinking of everyday. We all hear "one day at a time" but do we follow with what it means. Most of you know this is most likely my last mother's day with my mother. Everytime I see her, talk to her, or think of her, my heart is filled with lo...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

(((((Everyone))))) Today was so incrediblely beautiful. 75 degree w/ the most beautiful Carolina blue sky. I'm sitting here reflecting on why it has been a good day and I've discovered I'm back in the moment. Aaaaahhh, I'm lov'n it too. Today I didn't run from my...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I know some of you know who the fly lady is, thought I would share this Food For Thought from Her. It can be applied with what we are suppose to do in our program. Moving in May isn't about parking a little further out at Wal-Mart and logging on a few extra steps on your pedometer. Nor is it jus...

Miranda · Miranda

I don't know what to do. My little brother started having seizures the other day and got sent to the Children's Hospital. The neurologist did tests on him and my brother didn't do very well. The doctor said he might be physically and/or mentally handicapped. I'm so scared. My mom is being terrible she'...

smpoli · smpoli

Thank you all for the support you have all given me during this hard time. For those of you that know me and my situation, here is the latest update. Bryon went in Monday for his regular scheduled overnight chemo treatment. They were preparing his discharge Tue when he spiked a fever.&n...

tippergirl · tippergirl

My sponsor gave me a really nice compliment. She said she was very proud of me and that she could tell that I was willing to go to any length necesary in order to gain recovery. That was great to hear. So I went to two al-anon meetings today. One I sahred and the other I didn't. I was glad I didn't share in the se...

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

OH my A.... I went to his house yesterday at noon to get my things, before I left he followed me out to my car and kissed me, told me he does love me and told me to please come back at 2:30 when he was sure the electrician and cable guy would be gone. I went back. His first words, "Jennifer, I just think we nee...

Barbara · Barbara

I have the readings up to Step 5. Sponsor is bringing me Steps 6 & 7 tomorrow. Does anyone have the Big Book readings for the remaining steps?

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

My A has not phoned at all since yesterday. I guess I could be relieved that he is possibly out of my life forever and I will never have to deal with the insanity of alcoholism again, believe me, if I EVER encounter another A, I will leave them in the dust! I am not relieved, I am trying so desperately to be s...

DanaAngel · DanaAngel

Here's some funny real church bulletins (with typos) someone sent me, so I thought I'd share them with the board just for fun- Church Bulletins:The Fasting & Prayer Conference will include meals.The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:"Searching for Jesus....

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I am spending the weekend doing errands with my AH who I am separated from. It never goes well. I get in my love addict/dysfunction/disease right away. My AH threatens divorce and says he is ready to start dating etc. He says when am I going to let go? When I am ready I say. With or wit...

Zarah · Zarah

Have you ever been on the beach enjoying your day, building an enchanting sand castle, just to have some bully come along and destroy it? This is how I feel about alcoholism - it's like a bully. Alcoholism is a family disease - It affects the entire family. -- Edited by Zarah at 22:18, 200...

ErinB · ErinB

I don't usually post but thought I'd share this with you all, it touched me when I read it. It's a poem called Broken Wings. I once had dreams of soaring like an eagle strong and free. My world would have no limits and the sky would belong to me. I visioned a world of beauty, which I could view from ab...

Scamper · Scamper

I just thought I would jot down a few words tonight because I am feeling alone and scared. My A is looking for a place to live. He was able to get on disability, which is what he wanted. He has been helping me out financially for the past 3 mos and I have become somewhat dependent on the mo...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

I am new to alanon and have so many questions. I know that yelling and screaming at my AH is the wrong approach so I have remained quiet for the past two weeks...the problem is that he isn't saying anything either. Am I suppose to pretend that he didn't come home hours late seve...

sarahlm · sarahlm

My husband, who is in jail just called me grilling me about where I was last night (at work) why was still sleeping (I am depressed and didnt want to wake up) and then got jmad at me for being depressed because he said he is the one that should be depressed and when i said, its not all about you he said "yes it is...

ImOkay · ImOkay

I just wanted to share my light bulb moment I recently had. I’ve been struggling with letting go of some of my resentments for years. After talking and reading about resentments (anger) and boundaries, a light finally went off. I use resentments and/or anger in the place of boundaries. Just sett...

Zarah · Zarah

Just Want to Say Happy Mother's Day and Thank You Mom For Being a Blessing To Me -- Edited by Zarah at 18:58, 2006-05-13 -- Edited by Zarah at 19:00, 2006-05-13

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hi (((Everybody))) My heart is at war with my brian right now. Actually it has been for quite some time. For years I have listened to my heart saying just be patient he will see what life could be and this will make both of you better people, a truly intimate couple. My brain has always had a few res...

emma · emma

Where did this slapping people with a trout and trouts away come from??? I love the lightheartedness of it --- but am new enough, yet been around to enough weeks, to wonder ..........????????

Barbara · Barbara

While doing the 12 steps my sponsor has me using the AA dictionary to look up the meaning of different words. Has anyone else done this?

rtexas · rtexas

I don't typically log in over the weekend so Happy Mothers Day (((((Everyone)))))!!! If you are a Mom... no better day to take care of you! If you got a Mom (LOL) tell them how much you appreciate them. Take care of you!

bigthoughts · bigthoughts

I wrote the other day about the hardships I am going through with my A boyfriend. Yesterday, day after the bad night, he told me that it was all over. He is going to stop, he is going to get treatment, he knows that if he doesn't he is going to lose me, that he will end up destroying himself. Of course, I...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello Group))) I recently sat down and began a moral and fearless personal Inventory to help me with honesty and to put my character flaws on paper to reflect on them. I just started listing things down that i have done to others or things that I myself have lied about, protected out of fear,...

gardengal · gardengal

For years I thought my way was the right way. Living with active alcoholism makes us search for answers and find solutions to "fix" the problem. I would try this and then try that only to fail each time miserabley, but I persisted to the point where I hit my bottom. For years as his alcoholism progr...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Good Morning! To: YOU Date: TODAY From: GOD Subject: YOURSELF Reference: LIFE This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you. P.S. And, remember... If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do No...

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

I went to his house today at noon to pick up my things...he said he does not want things to end he just wants them to slow way way down....to what? I asked if our relationship should be where we make plans to drive down the same street at the same time and wave to one another, he said "Yeah!" and laughed...I di...

Scamper · Scamper

I just want to thank the people who responded to my 'feeling alone and scared' post. You uplifted me tremendously this morning when I came on the site. There were things that were said that I so needed to be reminded of. God bless you guys and I love to read these posts too - I don't feel...

angel123 · angel123

Healing tears....Some cry easy some do not... For me I am a crier I take things deep.I thought it was a defect that I was easy for depression or I was just not accepting things. But I had alot of pain to heal walking into the doors of Alanon.I had guilt, fear all the negative emotions.My tears were fr...

tippergirl · tippergirl

I am supposed to start a daily gratitude list today. Gotta run-but I am grateful I get to take care of my little baby girl (hence why I am running)

dipstick75 · dipstick75

Hello Anyone who is looking to sponsor a newbie. I have visited here for one week today. In the chat room I am aka Allmessedup. Please message me if you are interested in helping me through this journey that I am about to take. Thank you. Hugs.

hersh · hersh

Hi everyone: I have been separated from my A for two months now. He relapsed after a year of sobriety (no program) It was the most horrible thing I have ever been through, like watching someone die. Things are improving and he will not attend AA but is reading a religious book and p...

shadow1 · shadow1

My A that once was a very gentle person started showing signs of anger while drinking. I stopped "nagging" him while he was under the infulece. Now the anger seems to happen when he is not drinking . I think that he is very capable of going into a rage and unknowingly hurt someone. He is on med...

debilyn · debilyn

You guys asked me what would make me want to visit my A in jail or write to him. Someone also said why does it have to be, he has to write me first or whatever. You guys came up with some important points and I listened and took it to heart. I have not contacted him. It has been 22 days now. I realized I want to...

Lily7 · Lily7

My ah and I separated on my request two months ago and I am struggling with what to do. He denies drinking. I think I cannot cope with living with him while he actively drinks but I do not want to end a relationship of 20 years, or do I? One minute I want in, the next minute I want out...

lilms · lilms

I am a little confused as to the setting of boundaries and the natural consequences, or predetermined consequences to those boundaries being crossed. Found out 10 days ago that my stepdaughter is using cocaine again. I was not here the first time in her life that that was an issue but I was tol...

angeleyes8462 · angeleyes8462

Last night, I wanted to do something for me. So I got home from my second job and took a bath. And went into my room grabbed my "Courage to Change" book. I have had something weighing on me alot lately something I have been letting my own feelings getting in the way of instead of letting my hp have it. I have ha...

Gailey · Gailey

I have mentioned on these boards that I have a food addiction (btw...wish they had a board for that in MIP) Last night while I was eating a piece of cake my dh casually made a remark to me. It went like this..."I don't know how you expect to lose any weight eating those kinds of things" Well....I wa...

FormalWare · FormalWare

From the ODAT for today (May 11): "What is the greatest hindrance to my achieving serenity? DETERMINATION..." I've got to LET GO of things, and place them in the hands of my HP. I'm actually getting glimpses of the resulting serenity; yesterday afternoon, as I told my sister, I got this sudden fee...

confused · confused

I have been doing a lot of reflection on what I need to take care of me if my husband and I reconcile. One of the big things that continually comes up in my mind is the financial insecurity we have had over the years. Since he has not contributed at all over the past 5 months, since our separatio...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) I'm not OK. I hurt and feel miserable and have those see saw emotions in my head that make me want to try bumping into the same old wall again. There were drugs here when I got home yesterday, yeah I should not have looked but I did. Maybe I should have just pretended I didn't see them...

AlaMom · AlaMom

I came across this recently and thought I would share it. I know I have been using this little poem in my life alot. One Day At A Time I cannot change my yesterdays The things that I have done For those days are behind me A new day has begun. I cannot live tomorrow A captive of my fears ...

bigthoughts · bigthoughts

Last night I met my boyfriend out for drinks with friends. As usual, he took it too far. He feels he needs to be "the life of the party". Our friends think he's fun and funny, I see it as being obnoxious and I know that he will always take it too far. I start dropping little hints to him that I think he sho...

leo · leo

Maresie you have been given a gift to share this journey with your friend. I lost my best friend to cancer when she was only 35 years old. We were separated by 1300kms but it did not stop the love and communication and the visits when I could manage them to see her. Your friend will need someon...

swolves · swolves

got the computer fixed....read you all later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rtexas · rtexas

Something has made me want to develope a list of reasons to stay in this marriage. So far all I have is : - monitor what goes on around the kids - be there to support her if she ever decides to get a program (not likely) I am horrible at allowing my HP to guide me. We haven't ta...

richard · richard

Hi, tried posting this last night but I must have clicked the wrong button because it did not show up. So, here it is again. I will be going to an Al-anon meeting in a bit. ________ I stopped going to Al-Anon a while back. My son is\was doing fairly well… for not doing a 12 step progr...

hudsond · hudsond

Why is it that flaws stand out so profoundly? I am talking about my own--I see others too, but mine hurt so much. I really asm having a good week, except I keep seeing all these things in me that I don't like. Which I know in and of itself isn't a bad thing--it's just that they seem to be st...

robyn76 · robyn76

Hi all, It has been a while since I last posted. After 3 months of supporting him through out patient it seems there was a straw that broke this camel's back. I had planned a date (as suggested by our counselor for him to do)...so I called him and said why don't we go to one of your meet...

feelinhopeless · feelinhopeless

I am new to this so forgive my ignorance. I would like to work on the steps but the link to the step work board isn't working for me. Is there someplace where I can go to start working the steps? Another question, I have heard and read alot about sponsors, but there is no f2f meetings where I l...

tippergirl · tippergirl

It's so hard to focus on my problems. I think that in some way I had chosen an A to marry because I wanted a "fixer-upper" project. It sure is easier to look at someone else's problem than to look at my own. If I didn't have problems, I would be happier. But my spiritual immaturity keep me focusedon how other...

kspear · kspear

Hello all, I was reflecting over some of my recent behavior, none of which was outrageous or bad per se, but the motives have been less than pure. I've noticed that even after so much work done in the other program, I find that I still go to extreme lengths to gain approval from others. Of c...

emma · emma

i'm wondering if i am surrounded by A's ... i have one person i work with who is trying to make everyone feel good ... so that just when we get a decision and a plan, this person, who has some authority over the group, then says something that obfuscates the whole plan ... and so no one does anything, and we...

quest · quest

As I progress with using the tools I learn in our program, detachment, boundries… I am getting some peace and reacting less. So when my ah is having a hard time I am more sympathetic and understanding. But… When my ah is not drinking/using, I seem to lose some of my patien...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) It's Sully's (mastiff puppy) 5 month birthday today! Hurray LOL silly I know but what the heck I need something to celebrate and since he is spoiled rotten already I might as well go all the way. Today I am going to drop the dogs off at home before work, my AH will be there then but...

Gailey · Gailey

I am trying so hard to stay out of my son's business. Sometimes I just cannot let go of the fact that his business in NOT my business. I find myself wanting to tell him things his wife tells me the children say about missing him etc. I just have to keep my mouth closed and let his HP tell him if it is...

lilms · lilms

I have come to realize over the past few days that I do not know the child my wife speaks of. My alcoholic/addict stepdaughter. I am now realizing that that is part of the reason why I don't get it. I never knew the child and she has been addicted to some substance or another since she...

mistykat · mistykat

I haven't yet been able to attend a meeting, so don't know anything about the steps or how to get started. I have lived with an alcoholic husband for twenty years, but just last night decided I needed to finally do something for myself, since it is pretty obvious that he is not going to change. Wher...

ditto · ditto

We are in the process of getting an uncontested divorce. He has signed all of the papers. The papers are filed with the court. He has left. He has been gone for 10 days, and in those 10 days I have not missed him. While he lived with me he refused to work. He lied cons...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	An update on my son and me... (Preview) Well, I have helped my son financially on more time. Only this time, I told him that, that night was an eye opener for me. I told him he needs to learn to be self-supportive and not lean on me for financial support. I told him this is the last time I help him financially. He said he...	richard	4	398	May 14, 2006 by aunitedway
	Mother's Day (Preview) As I started thinking of Mother's Day, I started thinking of everyday. We all hear "one day at a time" but do we follow with what it means. Most of you know this is most likely my last mother's day with my mother. Everytime I see her, talk to her, or think of her, my heart is filled with lo...	marmare	3	330	May 14, 2006 by drucilla06
	A Beautiful Day (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) Today was so incrediblely beautiful. 75 degree w/ the most beautiful Carolina blue sky. I'm sitting here reflecting on why it has been a good day and I've discovered I'm back in the moment. Aaaaahhh, I'm lov'n it too. Today I didn't run from my...	Lunamoth	3	309	May 14, 2006 by aunitedway
	Get Moving in May - Fly Lady - sorry guys (Preview) I know some of you know who the fly lady is, thought I would share this Food For Thought from Her. It can be applied with what we are suppose to do in our program. Moving in May isn't about parking a little further out at Wal-Mart and logging on a few extra steps on your pedometer. Nor is it jus...	jrtjosey	10	994	May 14, 2006 by maresie
	Help!!! (Preview) I don't know what to do. My little brother started having seizures the other day and got sent to the Children's Hospital. The neurologist did tests on him and my brother didn't do very well. The doctor said he might be physically and/or mentally handicapped. I'm so scared. My mom is being terrible she'...	Miranda	7	326	May 14, 2006 by Miranda
	Bryon Update (Preview) Thank you all for the support you have all given me during this hard time. For those of you that know me and my situation, here is the latest update. Bryon went in Monday for his regular scheduled overnight chemo treatment. They were preparing his discharge Tue when he spiked a fever.&n...	smpoli	13	369	May 14, 2006 by leo
	willing to go any lengths (Preview) My sponsor gave me a really nice compliment. She said she was very proud of me and that she could tell that I was willing to go to any length necesary in order to gain recovery. That was great to hear. So I went to two al-anon meetings today. One I sahred and the other I didn't. I was glad I didn't share in the se...	tippergirl	3	381	May 14, 2006 by confused
	More issues than alcohol (Preview) OH my A.... I went to his house yesterday at noon to get my things, before I left he followed me out to my car and kissed me, told me he does love me and told me to please come back at 2:30 when he was sure the electrician and cable guy would be gone. I went back. His first words, "Jennifer, I just think we nee...	jennneeefffurrr	4	508	May 13, 2006 by sarahlm
	Does anyone have a list of what AA Big Book readings go with each step? (Preview) I have the readings up to Step 5. Sponsor is bringing me Steps 6 & 7 tomorrow. Does anyone have the Big Book readings for the remaining steps?	Barbara	4	506	May 13, 2006 by sarahlm
	Shambles, Devastation, Confusion, HOPE?? (Preview) My A has not phoned at all since yesterday. I guess I could be relieved that he is possibly out of my life forever and I will never have to deal with the insanity of alcoholism again, believe me, if I EVER encounter another A, I will leave them in the dust! I am not relieved, I am trying so desperately to be s...	jennneeefffurrr	4	315	May 13, 2006 by sunny123
	Church bulletins- some humor for the board! (Preview) Here's some funny real church bulletins (with typos) someone sent me, so I thought I'd share them with the board just for fun- Church Bulletins:The Fasting & Prayer Conference will include meals.The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:"Searching for Jesus....	DanaAngel	5	320	May 13, 2006 by aunitedway
	The gift I give myself (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I am spending the weekend doing errands with my AH who I am separated from. It never goes well. I get in my love addict/dysfunction/disease right away. My AH threatens divorce and says he is ready to start dating etc. He says when am I going to let go? When I am ready I say. With or wit...	nmike	3	314	May 13, 2006 by Andrea12
	Sand Castles (Preview) Have you ever been on the beach enjoying your day, building an enchanting sand castle, just to have some bully come along and destroy it? This is how I feel about alcoholism - it's like a bully. Alcoholism is a family disease - It affects the entire family. -- Edited by Zarah at 22:18, 200...	Zarah	0	268	May 13, 2006 by Zarah
	Broken Wings (Preview) I don't usually post but thought I'd share this with you all, it touched me when I read it. It's a poem called Broken Wings. I once had dreams of soaring like an eagle strong and free. My world would have no limits and the sky would belong to me. I visioned a world of beauty, which I could view from ab...	ErinB	4	321	May 13, 2006 by dwa1163
	Feeling Alone and Scared (Preview) I just thought I would jot down a few words tonight because I am feeling alone and scared. My A is looking for a place to live. He was able to get on disability, which is what he wanted. He has been helping me out financially for the past 3 mos and I have become somewhat dependent on the mo...	Scamper	4	489	May 13, 2006 by aunitedway
	how do I react (Preview) I am new to alanon and have so many questions. I know that yelling and screaming at my AH is the wrong approach so I have remained quiet for the past two weeks...the problem is that he isn't saying anything either. Am I suppose to pretend that he didn't come home hours late seve...	Elizabeth M	10	409	May 13, 2006 by Elizabeth M
	I think he is crazy-or am I? so confused. (Preview) My husband, who is in jail just called me grilling me about where I was last night (at work) why was still sleeping (I am depressed and didnt want to wake up) and then got jmad at me for being depressed because he said he is the one that should be depressed and when i said, its not all about you he said "yes it is...	sarahlm	6	398	May 13, 2006 by donnajo
	Letting go of resentments (Preview) I just wanted to share my light bulb moment I recently had. I’ve been struggling with letting go of some of my resentments for years. After talking and reading about resentments (anger) and boundaries, a light finally went off. I use resentments and/or anger in the place of boundaries. Just sett...	ImOkay	1	575	May 13, 2006 by Zarah
	Happy Mother's Day (Preview) Just Want to Say Happy Mother's Day and Thank You Mom For Being a Blessing To Me -- Edited by Zarah at 18:58, 2006-05-13 -- Edited by Zarah at 19:00, 2006-05-13	Zarah	0	296	May 13, 2006 by Zarah
	My heart is at war with my brain (Preview) Hi (((Everybody))) My heart is at war with my brian right now. Actually it has been for quite some time. For years I have listened to my heart saying just be patient he will see what life could be and this will make both of you better people, a truly intimate couple. My brain has always had a few res...	Jennifer	4	411	May 13, 2006 by drucilla06
	Trout (Preview) Where did this slapping people with a trout and trouts away come from??? I love the lightheartedness of it --- but am new enough, yet been around to enough weeks, to wonder ..........????????	emma	3	341	May 13, 2006 by just me
	does anyone use the AA dictionary to go along with the 12 steps? (Preview) While doing the 12 steps my sponsor has me using the AA dictionary to look up the meaning of different words. Has anyone else done this?	Barbara	4	340	May 13, 2006 by Diva
	Happy Mothers Day (Preview) I don't typically log in over the weekend so Happy Mothers Day (((((Everyone)))))!!! If you are a Mom... no better day to take care of you! If you got a Mom (LOL) tell them how much you appreciate them. Take care of you!	rtexas	4	328	May 13, 2006 by confused
	feeling sad (Preview) I wrote the other day about the hardships I am going through with my A boyfriend. Yesterday, day after the bad night, he told me that it was all over. He is going to stop, he is going to get treatment, he knows that if he doesn't he is going to lose me, that he will end up destroying himself. Of course, I...	bigthoughts	2	315	May 12, 2006 by jrtjosey
	Need ESH on Step 4 Personal Inventory (Preview) (((Hello Group))) I recently sat down and began a moral and fearless personal Inventory to help me with honesty and to put my character flaws on paper to reflect on them. I just started listing things down that i have done to others or things that I myself have lied about, protected out of fear,...	twinmom2	5	354	May 12, 2006 by jrtjosey
	Question? Are you willing to admit that you dont have all the answers? (Preview) For years I thought my way was the right way. Living with active alcoholism makes us search for answers and find solutions to "fix" the problem. I would try this and then try that only to fail each time miserabley, but I persisted to the point where I hit my bottom. For years as his alcoholism progr...	gardengal	8	485	May 12, 2006 by tippergirl
	Let Go and Let God (heehee) (Preview) Good Morning! To: YOU Date: TODAY From: GOD Subject: YOURSELF Reference: LIFE This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you. P.S. And, remember... If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do No...	kismetstrand	3	292	May 12, 2006 by MrBlue42
	Weak against His Hold On MEEEEEE!!!!! (Preview) I went to his house today at noon to pick up my things...he said he does not want things to end he just wants them to slow way way down....to what? I asked if our relationship should be where we make plans to drive down the same street at the same time and wave to one another, he said "Yeah!" and laughed...I di...	jennneeefffurrr	7	444	May 12, 2006 by aunitedway
	Friday - Yay - feeling much better (Preview) I just want to thank the people who responded to my 'feeling alone and scared' post. You uplifted me tremendously this morning when I came on the site. There were things that were said that I so needed to be reminded of. God bless you guys and I love to read these posts too - I don't feel...	Scamper	4	284	May 12, 2006 by angeleyes8462
	Healing Tears (Preview) Healing tears....Some cry easy some do not... For me I am a crier I take things deep.I thought it was a defect that I was easy for depression or I was just not accepting things. But I had alot of pain to heal walking into the doors of Alanon.I had guilt, fear all the negative emotions.My tears were fr...	angel123	4	304	May 12, 2006 by kent_s
	gratitude (Preview) I am supposed to start a daily gratitude list today. Gotta run-but I am grateful I get to take care of my little baby girl (hence why I am running)	tippergirl	1	264	May 12, 2006 by tippergirl
	looking for sponsor (Preview) Hello Anyone who is looking to sponsor a newbie. I have visited here for one week today. In the chat room I am aka Allmessedup. Please message me if you are interested in helping me through this journey that I am about to take. Thank you. Hugs.	dipstick75	2	356	May 12, 2006 by tippergirl
	Tiptoeing into a Situation (Preview) Hi everyone: I have been separated from my A for two months now. He relapsed after a year of sobriety (no program) It was the most horrible thing I have ever been through, like watching someone die. Things are improving and he will not attend AA but is reading a religious book and p...	hersh	5	361	May 12, 2006 by sandy w
	Rage (Preview) My A that once was a very gentle person started showing signs of anger while drinking. I stopped "nagging" him while he was under the infulece. Now the anger seems to happen when he is not drinking . I think that he is very capable of going into a rage and unknowingly hurt someone. He is on med...	shadow1	4	355	May 12, 2006 by tea2
	thoughts (Preview) You guys asked me what would make me want to visit my A in jail or write to him. Someone also said why does it have to be, he has to write me first or whatever. You guys came up with some important points and I listened and took it to heart. I have not contacted him. It has been 22 days now. I realized I want to...	debilyn	4	292	May 12, 2006 by TLC2
	Decisions decisions (Preview) My ah and I separated on my request two months ago and I am struggling with what to do. He denies drinking. I think I cannot cope with living with him while he actively drinks but I do not want to end a relationship of 20 years, or do I? One minute I want in, the next minute I want out...	Lily7	2	317	May 12, 2006 by sandy w
	setting boundaries or being mean??? (Preview) I am a little confused as to the setting of boundaries and the natural consequences, or predetermined consequences to those boundaries being crossed. Found out 10 days ago that my stepdaughter is using cocaine again. I was not here the first time in her life that that was an issue but I was tol...	lilms	8	1079	May 12, 2006 by sandy w
	Forgiveness (Preview) Last night, I wanted to do something for me. So I got home from my second job and took a bath. And went into my room grabbed my "Courage to Change" book. I have had something weighing on me alot lately something I have been letting my own feelings getting in the way of instead of letting my hp have it. I have ha...	angeleyes8462	2	274	May 12, 2006 by angeleyes8462
	lightbulb moment!!! (Preview) I have mentioned on these boards that I have a food addiction (btw...wish they had a board for that in MIP) Last night while I was eating a piece of cake my dh casually made a remark to me. It went like this..."I don't know how you expect to lose any weight eating those kinds of things" Well....I wa...	Gailey	4	282	May 12, 2006 by ImOkay
	Determination: Bet you thought it was a virtue! (Preview) From the ODAT for today (May 11): "What is the greatest hindrance to my achieving serenity? DETERMINATION..." I've got to LET GO of things, and place them in the hands of my HP. I'm actually getting glimpses of the resulting serenity; yesterday afternoon, as I told my sister, I got this sudden fee...	FormalWare	2	342	May 12, 2006 by ImOkay
	financial boundaries/planning, reconciliation and early sobriety - am I expecting too much ESH needed please (Preview) I have been doing a lot of reflection on what I need to take care of me if my husband and I reconcile. One of the big things that continually comes up in my mind is the financial insecurity we have had over the years. Since he has not contributed at all over the past 5 months, since our separatio...	confused	7	451	May 12, 2006 by Jeannie
	Not OK (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) I'm not OK. I hurt and feel miserable and have those see saw emotions in my head that make me want to try bumping into the same old wall again. There were drugs here when I got home yesterday, yeah I should not have looked but I did. Maybe I should have just pretended I didn't see them...	Jennifer	6	432	May 12, 2006 by twinmom2
	One Day At A Time.... (Preview) I came across this recently and thought I would share it. I know I have been using this little poem in my life alot. One Day At A Time I cannot change my yesterdays The things that I have done For those days are behind me A new day has begun. I cannot live tomorrow A captive of my fears ...	AlaMom	6	577	May 12, 2006 by txmom
	Now what? (Preview) Last night I met my boyfriend out for drinks with friends. As usual, he took it too far. He feels he needs to be "the life of the party". Our friends think he's fun and funny, I see it as being obnoxious and I know that he will always take it too far. I start dropping little hints to him that I think he sho...	bigthoughts	8	371	May 12, 2006 by sarahlm
	friendship (Preview) Maresie you have been given a gift to share this journey with your friend. I lost my best friend to cancer when she was only 35 years old. We were separated by 1300kms but it did not stop the love and communication and the visits when I could manage them to see her. Your friend will need someon...	leo	1	307	May 12, 2006 by debilyn
	i'm back (Preview) got the computer fixed....read you all later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!	swolves	7	331	May 11, 2006 by david62
	Really struggling today (Preview) Something has made me want to develope a list of reasons to stay in this marriage. So far all I have is : - monitor what goes on around the kids - be there to support her if she ever decides to get a program (not likely) I am horrible at allowing my HP to guide me. We haven't ta...	rtexas	10	367	May 11, 2006 by Scamper
	It has been a long while since here... (Preview) Hi, tried posting this last night but I must have clicked the wrong button because it did not show up. So, here it is again. I will be going to an Al-anon meeting in a bit. ________ I stopped going to Al-Anon a while back. My son is\was doing fairly well… for not doing a 12 step progr...	richard	11	359	May 11, 2006 by richard
	Flaws (Preview) Why is it that flaws stand out so profoundly? I am talking about my own--I see others too, but mine hurt so much. I really asm having a good week, except I keep seeing all these things in me that I don't like. Which I know in and of itself isn't a bad thing--it's just that they seem to be st...	hudsond	2	354	May 11, 2006 by Jennifer
	Peace for the girls (Preview) Hi all, It has been a while since I last posted. After 3 months of supporting him through out patient it seems there was a straw that broke this camel's back. I had planned a date (as suggested by our counselor for him to do)...so I called him and said why don't we go to one of your meet...	robyn76	3	354	May 11, 2006 by MrBlue42
	Step work (Preview) I am new to this so forgive my ignorance. I would like to work on the steps but the link to the step work board isn't working for me. Is there someplace where I can go to start working the steps? Another question, I have heard and read alot about sponsors, but there is no f2f meetings where I l...	feelinhopeless	2	292	May 11, 2006 by feelinhopeless
	my problem (Preview) It's so hard to focus on my problems. I think that in some way I had chosen an A to marry because I wanted a "fixer-upper" project. It sure is easier to look at someone else's problem than to look at my own. If I didn't have problems, I would be happier. But my spiritual immaturity keep me focusedon how other...	tippergirl	1	295	May 11, 2006 by debilyn
	Approval seeking (Preview) Hello all, I was reflecting over some of my recent behavior, none of which was outrageous or bad per se, but the motives have been less than pure. I've noticed that even after so much work done in the other program, I find that I still go to extreme lengths to gain approval from others. Of c...	kspear	2	286	May 11, 2006 by debilyn
	communcation patterns (Preview) i'm wondering if i am surrounded by A's ... i have one person i work with who is trying to make everyone feel good ... so that just when we get a decision and a plan, this person, who has some authority over the group, then says something that obfuscates the whole plan ... and so no one does anything, and we...	emma	1	269	May 11, 2006 by lilms
	this was hard to share (Preview) As I progress with using the tools I learn in our program, detachment, boundries… I am getting some peace and reacting less. So when my ah is having a hard time I am more sympathetic and understanding. But… When my ah is not drinking/using, I seem to lose some of my patien...	quest	6	409	May 11, 2006 by feelinhopeless
	Today is a new start on ME (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) It's Sully's (mastiff puppy) 5 month birthday today! Hurray LOL silly I know but what the heck I need something to celebrate and since he is spoiled rotten already I might as well go all the way. Today I am going to drop the dogs off at home before work, my AH will be there then but...	Jennifer	2	438	May 11, 2006 by rtexas
	Minding my own business...I think! (Preview) I am trying so hard to stay out of my son's business. Sometimes I just cannot let go of the fact that his business in NOT my business. I find myself wanting to tell him things his wife tells me the children say about missing him etc. I just have to keep my mouth closed and let his HP tell him if it is...	Gailey	2	319	May 11, 2006 by kent_s
	But I don't know this person (Preview) I have come to realize over the past few days that I do not know the child my wife speaks of. My alcoholic/addict stepdaughter. I am now realizing that that is part of the reason why I don't get it. I never knew the child and she has been addicted to some substance or another since she...	lilms	4	350	May 11, 2006 by tippergirl
	New at this - HELP (Preview) I haven't yet been able to attend a meeting, so don't know anything about the steps or how to get started. I have lived with an alcoholic husband for twenty years, but just last night decided I needed to finally do something for myself, since it is pretty obvious that he is not going to change. Wher...	mistykat	7	419	May 11, 2006 by leo
	Sometimes there is no understanding (Preview) We are in the process of getting an uncontested divorce. He has signed all of the papers. The papers are filed with the court. He has left. He has been gone for 10 days, and in those 10 days I have not missed him. While he lived with me he refused to work. He lied cons...	ditto	2	414	May 11, 2006 by Diva
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