Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

angelnomore · angelnomore

How do I pause in a relationship? My AABoyfriend is telling me this is what he needs. But I can’t and I’m so TERRIED! I tried to not speaking to him while he goes through sobriety but he keeps leaving messages to tell me Hi and to see how my father is, my Father is very ill and is critical I’m not s...

angeleyes8462 · angeleyes8462

Detachement for me has been "walking away from everyone I love and have come to respect in my life." But for me the detachment I choose was because "I" wanted to find me to learn what it is that I have lost over so much time. I had gotten close to so many people and forgot th...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) I really did not feel like posting this but isn't that the time I usually need to post the most? I moved out of my house 2 weeks ago. In that time I stopped by a few times, once I was supposed to stay the night for a doc appointment the next day but while I was there the police showed up...

sarahlm · sarahlm

So my AH wants a divorce. He told me from prison. Its not that Im that upset, I just feel so crappy being rejected by such a loser. Whatever. I am pretty sure Im not that upset because we have been thru this routine before and its hard to believe its true but maybe it really is. If it is, I am sure I will be de...

amommyfirst · amommyfirst

Hello My name is Christa and I am new to the board but no where near new to what is going on. My husband is a alcholic. it started really even before we were married. We both partied and drank but only on weekends and when I got pregnant he even stoped drinking since I could not. well 8 months after our daughte...

nycbt · nycbt

HI EVERYONE JAL-CON 2006 31ST ANNUAL NEW JERSEY AL-ALANON CONVENTION EARLY BIRD RATE REGISTRATION FORM MUST BE POSTMRKED BY JUNE 23, 2006 "GET YOUR KICKS" AL-ANON MEETINGS-ALATEEN MEETINGS-AA MEETINGS SPEAKERS-LONG-TIMER'S PANEL-FAMILY PANEL-SKIT-BANQUET-DANCE JULY 21ST,...

marmare · marmare

Hi to All, Well, with my new job, (I already got a raise), mom being ill, my A being active, etc. etc. I have had lots of stress. Two years ago this would have affected every aspect of my life making me unable to do the smallest tasks like pay the bills. The skills I have learned through Alano...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

I was feeling sorry for myself today. I feel like my life has been wasted. It has had no meaning. My A is in bed sick asleep all day. I found this poem that helped me feel better. I thought my alanon family might benefit from it as well. I have no one in my real life outside my f2f meetings to talk to when I am mad a...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

(((((((((family)))))))))) Something I read in a post has started me thinking.We know the A's are addicted to alcohol,but what are alanons addicted to? To the a's? Maybe not...... I had a friendship with a woman where I work that lasted about 8 years.I had just gotten back together with my AH afte...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

Hi everyone I have been reading the board all weekend as it helps me stay in reality. Although my AH isn't as bad as some I have read about, the cycle of disappointment,despair and anger has been apart of my life for too long. This weekend has been stressful for me not because he is drinking b...

Becky1 · Becky1

I, Becky1, do hereby declare that today, Saturday, May 20, to be "What Email??? Day". Rose already feels bad enough, and probably feels worse when it keeps being brought up. She already apologized. We need to just let it go, forget it, banish it from our minds forever and ever. I...

kathy570 · kathy570

Sat. May 20/06 Dear John & ROSE, Hey, "We need not be organized " !!! Stuff happens and 90 % of the time it can be corrected !!!!!!!! Dear Rose, do NOT be so hard on yourself - IT WAS A MISTAKE - no one is perfect. Being the fiance of John, who works endlessly to keep...

serendipity · serendipity

my dad died today.it has been long comming. the cancer was everywhere. he was so good about the entire process. he rolled with it all. i felt he was gone on thursday and that it would only be 2 more days. it was.we had a different relationship. but whenever i needed him or his help he was there which always s...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello my alanon family. Thank you to all for praying for my family today. My "A" called me 5 minutes before I left for home to say that my gradfather had made it out of surgery. He is to stay in the ICU tonight and move to a different room tomorrow. My Grandmother told me when I got home that he has already...

mastiff · mastiff

Hi all, sad news again. My oldtimer Winny was put to sleep last night. For those that were here about a year back, you remember when i had to put Blue down too. As hard as it was this time, it was also a lot easier in a lot of ways.He was old, had kidney failure and just wasn't doing good at a...

agatha · agatha

About five or six weeks ago my A was told he was most likely bipolar by a mood specialist. He told my A that depression was "screammingly obvious" and gave him anti-psychotic medication that is suppose to work along with some pretty heavy anti-depressants. Amazingly enough they seem to be working for...

feelinhopeful · feelinhopeful

When I got to work last night, I was in a really bad place. MyA relapsed (again). A much younger co-worker took me aside and relayed a story that was given to her by her AA counselor: At Niagra Falls, people stood by and watched as a bald eagle landed to feed on a deer lying in the river. ...

Jennfer32 · Jennfer32

As many of you might know, I asked my AH to leave last week. I have been detaching from him slowly over the last two months, but still struggle with this. I got out the Blue Book yesterday, and read up on alcoholism, which gave me such a sense of compassion for this man...and regret that I judg...

Busbe · Busbe

Can anyone explain to me what the true perspective of the disease of alcoholism really is Im still struggling with that. Is it that the disease has no power over us. What do the rest of you get when u read "when u put it in its true perspective it loses its power over your thoughts and li...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello my Dear (((Friends))), Yesterday I took a step towards freedom, very small step but a step

Hub went off big time on the pitty pot with Mental Health yesterday, they sent the police there because they were afraid he was going to kill himself...heck he is already doing that.........

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

I went to a friends "basement" last night, a bar, for an hour. I had to drive past, well didnt HAVE to, my A's place. His car was in the carport, but I could tell noone was home. I only cried a little bit. Then, on my way there, I think I passed him driving an unfamiliar car, with a female in the passenger se...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

I am wanting to scream. I have a migraine again. I feel like my head is going to explode. Saturdays we are suppose to do sales in town to earn money for our animals. We loaded the truck last nite. Supposedly my A has been sober since the last weekend in April. I took trash off during the week and foun...

feelinhopeful · feelinhopeful

This got emailed to me and I thought I would share it with all. FOOTPRINTS...A New Version In a dream, you and the Lord Jesus are walking down the road together. For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace. But, your footprints are a disorg...

sallyb · sallyb

"This hurts like hell and the only kind of detachment that I can imagine is to remove myself from this situation entirely and move on with my life. I know that sounds selfish but I don't see a bright future living with an alcoholic. He is depressed and has lost al...

leo · leo

Just wanted to share this little story with you and how I handled it. My eldest son went out tonight and I did also. On my way home I noticed the police were doing random breath testing. I texted my son to let him know in case one of his friends or himself was silly enough to drink and driv...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, My husband and I have been talking a lot lately. Not arguing, just talking and about things that are important, to both of us. My sending out his resume had a lot of results. There have been several calls a day about possible jobs. I was getting aggravated as he found a reason to shoot dow...

lmt123 · lmt123

hey all, Good news! The spot and the cyst on my eyelid are NOT cancer! Whoo hoo! Just wanted to thank you all for prayers, they DO work. The doctor said the cyst on the lower lid is an oil gland that is just kinda big, and if I want to have it removed, I can. It...

Jennfer32 · Jennfer32

I have always been a logical, analytical thinker. Today, I am working on detachment. Detachment with love.....and it starts for me, learning about the disease of alcoholism. My father in law (h's step dad) passed away 4 yrs ago, and was a recovering alcoholic who was heavy into AA, an...

sarahlm · sarahlm

I am so sick of dealing with his insanity. I told AH some bad news today and he totally lost it on me and accused me of trying to upset him on purpose. Im so irritated. HE IS IN JAIL so Im supposed to tiptoe around everything and sugar coat it!! Plus it was the answer to a question he wnted me to find!!!!!! He put...

sunny123 · sunny123

So, here I am packing up my stuff while my AH is at his firm retreat that I was supposed to go on. It is so hard to find the strength to pack and sort when I am so upset and grieving. Moving is hard enough, but dealing with a separation, possible divorce, no job, no apartment is too much. I am trying to take it fir...

gardengal · gardengal

It says cannot connect.........??????

Lana · Lana

So, why I’m I so afraid to let people know who I am? I keep trying to get an account going here, but I have to keep deleting and changing my account because of something I said, something someone else said or didn’t say, or because the alias I picked didn't "feel right." I see people that have 300+ post a...

nycbt · nycbt

I been at my job eight years ago. In eight years I have changed so much. I moved down to where I live now eight yrs ago. I have since gotten married. Started alanon. Have grown alot with alanon. Made alot of friends. Been working on my self more.

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((Everyone)) I don't know what to say in my post, I do know I need to stay connected to all the positive places and people in my life. After the last year of learning about myself and how to care for myself again, and making the decision to leave my husband, house etc it seems my brain is on vacation....

gardengal · gardengal

I would like to hear how you let go of people and situations you cannot change. This comes so hard for so many of us especially when it concerns a loved one, when all we "think" we are doing is "trying to help. etc etc................

twinmom2 · twinmom2

This week has been a week for me to focus on program and hone in on my progress. I see now that I need to find a sponser to help me out with my personal inventory. I also know that I need a person to call when i have a question about recovery or something I need to talk through. I am really s...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Somewhere in reconciling with my A I think I got lost in staying quiet and praying silently and forgot about setting clear boundaries. I can see now that my A has not taken many steps to growth. Since he's been home he lost three jobs and has not brought home a steady paycheck in 2 months.&nb...

jecy · jecy

well my addict lost here job today. she couldnt even keep her job after all the breaks they gave her. i went into the store to today and her boss asked i had seen her and i hadnt nor had i heard from her ( which was nice) he said she hadnt showed up nor called and a co-worker went to get her and she said shed be ther...

debilyn · debilyn

It was my insurance co. who ordered surveillance spell, to see the level of activity at my home. Which is fine, but I am not suppose to see them! I let her know the horribleness of it and how it could have been so bad. I even put my Lusterpig who loves me on the front porch with blankets! He hates visi...

Lindy · Lindy

Hi, I haven't been on here for a while, but my AH has been working out of town A LOT of long hours so I really don't see him during the week. I usually talk to him during the week, but he has no time to get good and drunk. He comes home on the weekends and things have been okay for the most part. I am noticing that he...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

As I sit here this morning asking myself am I enabling.....maybe I'm doing the things I do for him to help myself........I don't want to feel like I just threw him away.........Also I think tIhis is one of the reasons I stayed so long........how do you just throw someone away that you love....I must hav...

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

My A did not respond to the letter I sent him on Monday. I woke up this morning crying. I sent him a text saying "I miss my sweet wonderful "A" :(. Are you ready to try again at a slower pace? I do love you" He did not respond. Instead of being sad and accepting the fact he has rejected me and left me hear...

nikkilou · nikkilou

Hi Roomies, I'm having a little trouble with this one today. My A and I are in the middle of a law suit(malpractice). As far as i can tell it is my word against his the doctor. I did not lie on the stand I did my best to tell the story my way. I feel he lied alot. But now it is up...

serendipity · serendipity

my a husband called and left a message yesterday. the kids and i haven't seen him in 3 months. he hadn't called in a week. he is living with his mother and his brothers and sisters who all drink and do drugs. but the thing is he wants to see the kids. i told him last time that i would not allow the kids over to his...

Jennfer32 · Jennfer32

It has been one week since I asked my H to leave. I hear in my head his voice "i can not be who you want me to be". I have to ask myself what it is that i wanted him to be...and it gives me healing, because i know all i was asking for was to be married to the man that i chose 13 yrs ago. I made a list....

Barbara · Barbara

Yup - this is what Im asking. To be able to live side by side with A husband and be able to happily do all the chores. Think its possible? He hasnt mowed the grass in years. Ive actually stopped the lawn man a few years ago. Why should we grow grass if Im the only one out there mowing it? I see all the neighbors...

Jennfer32 · Jennfer32

I wrote a letter to my husband today. I don't know that I will give it to him, but the message is heartfelt, and writing makes my head clearer....Thought I would share with those of you who feel the same way........ H, I think it is important for me to share with you a few of my thoughts as i go thro...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

I read Hope for today March 18th yesterday. I think my HP is trying to tell me something. I am working on that one. My A I think has been sober since the last week in April. I did find an empty bottle of wine in the trash. I thought about bringing it up but it is not that important & not my responsib...

Miranda · Miranda

I really need someone to talk to. I'm really scared, and freaked, and I'm so so confused. I don't know what to do. I just need someone to help me. Could someone come to a meeting to talk, or something? I just really need help. Mir

Barbara · Barbara

People say "Its not all about you". Program says "Keep the focus on you". How do you differentiate? Talk about the other person but keep thoughts on yourself? Difference btwn ppl in program and those no?

hudsond · hudsond

It is amazing how seeing a glimpse of light can cause life to turn upside down. Sunday my ah decided to go back to meetings. He made 2 had 2 sober days. I am not certain, he didn't talk about it, but I think he used yesterday. I didn't want to ask if he had gone to a meeting, I felt lik...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Found this one in my files today, and always loved it..... As always, feel free to alter the word "God" to "God of my understanding", but the sentiment is right on the money.... Enjoy!! Tom MEMO FROM GOD To: YOU Date: TODAY From: THE BOSS Subject: YOURSELF Referenc...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello Roomies, My grandfather goes into surgery for a double bypass at 6:30am. Please pray for him. I love him so much. And I know he is in God's hands and that is such a comfort. But I still can't help but be scared that I am going to lose my hero. Thanks for your support. Much Love,

jennneeefffurrr · jennneeefffurrr

I have not heard from my A since Fri afternoon of last week. I sent a letter to him Mon - not asking for an explanation, more letting him know I love him and will never turn my back on him and that I will love him forever, pray for him always, and hope for the best for a wonderful and worthwhile person......

Barbara · Barbara

He saved the emails from Jan/Feb. I called our mother controlling, etc. He doesnt see that having me testify may be detrimental to his case.

penny · penny

Yes the bubble has burst big time. I have walked out and have rented a flat at an address only my daughter knows. The lies he is telling people is beyond belief. I cant cope any more with his drinking, its a litre or more of vodka a day and I cant compete. I feel exhausted its been&...

angel123 · angel123

Reflections are from the Forum(meeting in my pocket) People who practice what they preach usually do a minimum of preching.Forum 1973 When you are ready to go over the edge remeber that God,in his wisdom and mercy,made the world round.Forum 1994

angeleyes8462 · angeleyes8462

Got a question on recovery? I haven't been coming to the board or this site very long. I am learning detachment which I am finding to be more difficult lately for me. I find myself when talking to him talking about future. I know I shouldn't be doing that "how do I stop from getting myself roped in...

peewee · peewee

For anyone who cares to read, there is a wealth of information on this site regarding research being done on the scientific effects of alcohol. www.utexas.edu/research/asrec/alcoholfacts.html MsPeewee

Jennfer32 · Jennfer32

I am a wife of an alcoholic. I married him when I was 22 yrs old, and he was my best friend. My saviour from a homelife with a bipolar mother. I was independent, strong, and determined at that time, and had the great wall of China built up around me, and brick by brick, he knocked i...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	HOW DO YOU PAUSE!!!! (Preview) How do I pause in a relationship? My AABoyfriend is telling me this is what he needs. But I can’t and I’m so TERRIED! I tried to not speaking to him while he goes through sobriety but he keeps leaving messages to tell me Hi and to see how my father is, my Father is very ill and is critical I’m not s...	angelnomore	3	779	May 21, 2006 by kent_s
	Detachment (Preview) Detachement for me has been "walking away from everyone I love and have come to respect in my life." But for me the detachment I choose was because "I" wanted to find me to learn what it is that I have lost over so much time. I had gotten close to so many people and forgot th...	angeleyes8462	3	326	May 21, 2006 by aunitedway
	UGH I did not think it could hurt more (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) I really did not feel like posting this but isn't that the time I usually need to post the most? I moved out of my house 2 weeks ago. In that time I stopped by a few times, once I was supposed to stay the night for a doc appointment the next day but while I was there the police showed up...	Jennifer	4	344	May 21, 2006 by Tammy
	The pain of being rejected by a LOSER!!! (Preview) So my AH wants a divorce. He told me from prison. Its not that Im that upset, I just feel so crappy being rejected by such a loser. Whatever. I am pretty sure Im not that upset because we have been thru this routine before and its hard to believe its true but maybe it really is. If it is, I am sure I will be de...	sarahlm	3	1102	May 21, 2006 by Busbe
	need help (Preview) Hello My name is Christa and I am new to the board but no where near new to what is going on. My husband is a alcholic. it started really even before we were married. We both partied and drank but only on weekends and when I got pregnant he even stoped drinking since I could not. well 8 months after our daughte...	amommyfirst	6	318	May 21, 2006 by nycbt
	JAL-CON 2006 NJ (Preview) HI EVERYONE JAL-CON 2006 31ST ANNUAL NEW JERSEY AL-ALANON CONVENTION EARLY BIRD RATE REGISTRATION FORM MUST BE POSTMRKED BY JUNE 23, 2006 "GET YOUR KICKS" AL-ANON MEETINGS-ALATEEN MEETINGS-AA MEETINGS SPEAKERS-LONG-TIMER'S PANEL-FAMILY PANEL-SKIT-BANQUET-DANCE JULY 21ST,...	nycbt	4	343	May 21, 2006 by nycbt
	What a switch (Preview) Hi to All, Well, with my new job, (I already got a raise), mom being ill, my A being active, etc. etc. I have had lots of stress. Two years ago this would have affected every aspect of my life making me unable to do the smallest tasks like pay the bills. The skills I have learned through Alano...	marmare	2	314	May 21, 2006 by Tammy
	inspirational poem wanted to share (Preview) I was feeling sorry for myself today. I feel like my life has been wasted. It has had no meaning. My A is in bed sick asleep all day. I found this poem that helped me feel better. I thought my alanon family might benefit from it as well. I have no one in my real life outside my f2f meetings to talk to when I am mad a...	hmrnrnmm	1	293	May 21, 2006 by Lana
	the "substance" alanons are hooked on (Preview) (((((((((family)))))))))) Something I read in a post has started me thinking.We know the A's are addicted to alcohol,but what are alanons addicted to? To the a's? Maybe not...... I had a friendship with a woman where I work that lasted about 8 years.I had just gotten back together with my AH afte...	drucilla06	7	1081	May 21, 2006 by tiredtonite
	Holding Back (Preview) Hi everyone I have been reading the board all weekend as it helps me stay in reality. Although my AH isn't as bad as some I have read about, the cycle of disappointment,despair and anger has been apart of my life for too long. This weekend has been stressful for me not because he is drinking b...	Elizabeth M	4	346	May 21, 2006 by maresie
	No More Discussion Please (Preview) I, Becky1, do hereby declare that today, Saturday, May 20, to be "What Email??? Day". Rose already feels bad enough, and probably feels worse when it keeps being brought up. She already apologized. We need to just let it go, forget it, banish it from our minds forever and ever. I...	Becky1	4	426	May 21, 2006 by shellsea
	Rose's MIXUP - READDDDDDDDDD (Preview) Sat. May 20/06 Dear John & ROSE, Hey, "We need not be organized " !!! Stuff happens and 90 % of the time it can be corrected !!!!!!!! Dear Rose, do NOT be so hard on yourself - IT WAS A MISTAKE - no one is perfect. Being the fiance of John, who works endlessly to keep...	kathy570	2	449	May 21, 2006 by shellsea
	grief (Preview) my dad died today.it has been long comming. the cancer was everywhere. he was so good about the entire process. he rolled with it all. i felt he was gone on thursday and that it would only be 2 more days. it was.we had a different relationship. but whenever i needed him or his help he was there which always s...	serendipity	7	392	May 21, 2006 by maresie
	Update: Prayers Needed (Preview) Hello my alanon family. Thank you to all for praying for my family today. My "A" called me 5 minutes before I left for home to say that my gradfather had made it out of surgery. He is to stay in the ICU tonight and move to a different room tomorrow. My Grandmother told me when I got home that he has already...	Dolphin123	4	325	May 21, 2006 by peewee
	had to put my kids/lesson horse to sleep last night (Preview) Hi all, sad news again. My oldtimer Winny was put to sleep last night. For those that were here about a year back, you remember when i had to put Blue down too. As hard as it was this time, it was also a lot easier in a lot of ways.He was old, had kidney failure and just wasn't doing good at a...	mastiff	7	492	May 21, 2006 by bob6502
	Bipolar (Preview) About five or six weeks ago my A was told he was most likely bipolar by a mood specialist. He told my A that depression was "screammingly obvious" and gave him anti-psychotic medication that is suppose to work along with some pretty heavy anti-depressants. Amazingly enough they seem to be working for...	agatha	2	320	May 21, 2006 by confused
	The Eagle and the Deer (Preview) When I got to work last night, I was in a really bad place. MyA relapsed (again). A much younger co-worker took me aside and relayed a story that was given to her by her AA counselor: At Niagra Falls, people stood by and watched as a bald eagle landed to feed on a deer lying in the river. ...	feelinhopeful	2	349	May 20, 2006 by sarahlm
	Revelations and regrets--INSIGHT PLEASE (Preview) As many of you might know, I asked my AH to leave last week. I have been detaching from him slowly over the last two months, but still struggle with this. I got out the Blue Book yesterday, and read up on alcoholism, which gave me such a sense of compassion for this man...and regret that I judg...	Jennfer32	5	394	May 20, 2006 by Jennfer32
	True perspective (Preview) Can anyone explain to me what the true perspective of the disease of alcoholism really is Im still struggling with that. Is it that the disease has no power over us. What do the rest of you get when u read "when u put it in its true perspective it loses its power over your thoughts and li...	Busbe	4	335	May 20, 2006 by Busbe
	A Step Towards Freedom (Preview) Hello my Dear (((Friends))), Yesterday I took a step towards freedom, very small step but a step Hub went off big time on the pitty pot with Mental Health yesterday, they sent the police there because they were afraid he was going to kill himself...heck he is already doing that.........	Andrea12	7	544	May 20, 2006 by whitie
	Fear, Agony & Hope (Preview) I went to a friends "basement" last night, a bar, for an hour. I had to drive past, well didnt HAVE to, my A's place. His car was in the carport, but I could tell noone was home. I only cried a little bit. Then, on my way there, I think I passed him driving an unfamiliar car, with a female in the passenger se...	jennneeefffurrr	4	463	May 20, 2006 by maresie
	I want to scream, lied to again? I think (Preview) I am wanting to scream. I have a migraine again. I feel like my head is going to explode. Saturdays we are suppose to do sales in town to earn money for our animals. We loaded the truck last nite. Supposedly my A has been sober since the last weekend in April. I took trash off during the week and foun...	hmrnrnmm	5	394	May 20, 2006 by hmrnrnmm
	Footprints - A New Version (Preview) This got emailed to me and I thought I would share it with all. FOOTPRINTS...A New Version In a dream, you and the Lord Jesus are walking down the road together. For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace. But, your footprints are a disorg...	feelinhopeful	3	381	May 20, 2006 by Andrea12
	Trying to heal (Preview) "This hurts like hell and the only kind of detachment that I can imagine is to remove myself from this situation entirely and move on with my life. I know that sounds selfish but I don't see a bright future living with an alcoholic. He is depressed and has lost al...	sallyb	3	426	May 20, 2006 by leo
	tricked (Preview) Just wanted to share this little story with you and how I handled it. My eldest son went out tonight and I did also. On my way home I noticed the police were doing random breath testing. I texted my son to let him know in case one of his friends or himself was silly enough to drink and driv...	leo	7	403	May 20, 2006 by sandie123
	Mother In Law (Preview) Hi everyone, My husband and I have been talking a lot lately. Not arguing, just talking and about things that are important, to both of us. My sending out his resume had a lot of results. There have been several calls a day about possible jobs. I was getting aggravated as he found a reason to shoot dow...	Jeannie	5	628	May 20, 2006 by maresie
	update on my eye problem... (Preview) hey all, Good news! The spot and the cyst on my eyelid are NOT cancer! Whoo hoo! Just wanted to thank you all for prayers, they DO work. The doctor said the cyst on the lower lid is an oil gland that is just kinda big, and if I want to have it removed, I can. It...	lmt123	9	470	May 20, 2006 by peewee
	Learning Healthy Compassion (Preview) I have always been a logical, analytical thinker. Today, I am working on detachment. Detachment with love.....and it starts for me, learning about the disease of alcoholism. My father in law (h's step dad) passed away 4 yrs ago, and was a recovering alcoholic who was heavy into AA, an...	Jennfer32	5	340	May 20, 2006 by kent_s
	I hate him!!!!! (Preview) I am so sick of dealing with his insanity. I told AH some bad news today and he totally lost it on me and accused me of trying to upset him on purpose. Im so irritated. HE IS IN JAIL so Im supposed to tiptoe around everything and sugar coat it!! Plus it was the answer to a question he wnted me to find!!!!!! He put...	sarahlm	6	652	May 20, 2006 by feelinhopeful
	Packing Up (Preview) So, here I am packing up my stuff while my AH is at his firm retreat that I was supposed to go on. It is so hard to find the strength to pack and sort when I am so upset and grieving. Moving is hard enough, but dealing with a separation, possible divorce, no job, no apartment is too much. I am trying to take it fir...	sunny123	2	284	May 20, 2006 by sunny123
	Is anyone else having problems getting into chat? (Preview) It says cannot connect.........??????	gardengal	1	291	May 20, 2006 by jrtjosey
	who am I? (Preview) So, why I’m I so afraid to let people know who I am? I keep trying to get an account going here, but I have to keep deleting and changing my account because of something I said, something someone else said or didn’t say, or because the alias I picked didn't "feel right." I see people that have 300+ post a...	Lana	11	646	May 20, 2006 by Maria123
	8 yrs ago (Preview) I been at my job eight years ago. In eight years I have changed so much. I moved down to where I live now eight yrs ago. I have since gotten married. Started alanon. Have grown alot with alanon. Made alot of friends. Been working on my self more.	nycbt	7	360	May 20, 2006 by Maria123
	Not sure what to say (Preview) Hello ((Everyone)) I don't know what to say in my post, I do know I need to stay connected to all the positive places and people in my life. After the last year of learning about myself and how to care for myself again, and making the decision to leave my husband, house etc it seems my brain is on vacation....	Jennifer	4	340	May 20, 2006 by Maria123
	Question? Have you let go of the people and situations you cannot change? (Preview) I would like to hear how you let go of people and situations you cannot change. This comes so hard for so many of us especially when it concerns a loved one, when all we "think" we are doing is "trying to help. etc etc................	gardengal	2	327	May 20, 2006 by jennneeefffurrr
	When is it enabling and when is it helping? (Preview) This week has been a week for me to focus on program and hone in on my progress. I see now that I need to find a sponser to help me out with my personal inventory. I also know that I need a person to call when i have a question about recovery or something I need to talk through. I am really s...	twinmom2	4	397	May 20, 2006 by gardengal
	Big Revelation but it feels yucky... (Preview) Somewhere in reconciling with my A I think I got lost in staying quiet and praying silently and forgot about setting clear boundaries. I can see now that my A has not taken many steps to growth. Since he's been home he lost three jobs and has not brought home a steady paycheck in 2 months.&nb...	twinmom2	3	350	May 20, 2006 by maresie
	lost job and hope... (Preview) well my addict lost here job today. she couldnt even keep her job after all the breaks they gave her. i went into the store to today and her boss asked i had seen her and i hadnt nor had i heard from her ( which was nice) he said she hadnt showed up nor called and a co-worker went to get her and she said shed be ther...	jecy	5	485	May 20, 2006 by maresie
	I am safe guys (Preview) It was my insurance co. who ordered surveillance spell, to see the level of activity at my home. Which is fine, but I am not suppose to see them! I let her know the horribleness of it and how it could have been so bad. I even put my Lusterpig who loves me on the front porch with blankets! He hates visi...	debilyn	9	505	May 20, 2006 by maresie
	Potential for another drunken weekend (Preview) Hi, I haven't been on here for a while, but my AH has been working out of town A LOT of long hours so I really don't see him during the week. I usually talk to him during the week, but he has no time to get good and drunk. He comes home on the weekends and things have been okay for the most part. I am noticing that he...	Lindy	3	311	May 20, 2006 by gardengal
	Thanks for the ES&H (Preview) As I sit here this morning asking myself am I enabling.....maybe I'm doing the things I do for him to help myself........I don't want to feel like I just threw him away.........Also I think tIhis is one of the reasons I stayed so long........how do you just throw someone away that you love....I must hav...	Andrea12	3	750	May 19, 2006 by maresie
	SSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOO PO'd (Preview) My A did not respond to the letter I sent him on Monday. I woke up this morning crying. I sent him a text saying "I miss my sweet wonderful "A" :(. Are you ready to try again at a slower pace? I do love you" He did not respond. Instead of being sad and accepting the fact he has rejected me and left me hear...	jennneeefffurrr	5	433	May 19, 2006 by mebjk
	let go and let god (Preview) Hi Roomies, I'm having a little trouble with this one today. My A and I are in the middle of a law suit(malpractice). As far as i can tell it is my word against his the doctor. I did not lie on the stand I did my best to tell the story my way. I feel he lied alot. But now it is up...	nikkilou	5	414	May 19, 2006 by nikkilou
	slipping (Preview) my a husband called and left a message yesterday. the kids and i haven't seen him in 3 months. he hadn't called in a week. he is living with his mother and his brothers and sisters who all drink and do drugs. but the thing is he wants to see the kids. i told him last time that i would not allow the kids over to his...	serendipity	4	357	May 19, 2006 by Lunamoth
	One week...and deep in thought (Preview) It has been one week since I asked my H to leave. I hear in my head his voice "i can not be who you want me to be". I have to ask myself what it is that i wanted him to be...and it gives me healing, because i know all i was asking for was to be married to the man that i chose 13 yrs ago. I made a list....	Jennfer32	5	323	May 19, 2006 by aunitedway
	Learning to live side by side w/A husband while happily doing all the chores (Preview) Yup - this is what Im asking. To be able to live side by side with A husband and be able to happily do all the chores. Think its possible? He hasnt mowed the grass in years. Ive actually stopped the lawn man a few years ago. Why should we grow grass if Im the only one out there mowing it? I see all the neighbors...	Barbara	7	394	May 19, 2006 by twinmom2
	A letter to my husband (Preview) I wrote a letter to my husband today. I don't know that I will give it to him, but the message is heartfelt, and writing makes my head clearer....Thought I would share with those of you who feel the same way........ H, I think it is important for me to share with you a few of my thoughts as i go thro...	Jennfer32	4	357	May 19, 2006 by hudsond
	Hope for Today read wrong date but right message (Preview) I read Hope for today March 18th yesterday. I think my HP is trying to tell me something. I am working on that one. My A I think has been sober since the last week in April. I did find an empty bottle of wine in the trash. I thought about bringing it up but it is not that important & not my responsib...	hmrnrnmm	1	293	May 19, 2006 by hudsond
	Please somebody help me (Preview) I really need someone to talk to. I'm really scared, and freaked, and I'm so so confused. I don't know what to do. I just need someone to help me. Could someone come to a meeting to talk, or something? I just really need help. Mir	Miranda	4	390	May 19, 2006 by sandy w
	whats the difference when someone says "Its not all about you" to "Keep the focus on you"? (Preview) People say "Its not all about you". Program says "Keep the focus on you". How do you differentiate? Talk about the other person but keep thoughts on yourself? Difference btwn ppl in program and those no?	Barbara	6	5089	May 19, 2006 by sandy w
	2 days (Preview) It is amazing how seeing a glimpse of light can cause life to turn upside down. Sunday my ah decided to go back to meetings. He made 2 had 2 sober days. I am not certain, he didn't talk about it, but I think he used yesterday. I didn't want to ask if he had gone to a meeting, I felt lik...	hudsond	5	417	May 19, 2006 by sandy w
	Memo from God (Preview) Found this one in my files today, and always loved it..... As always, feel free to alter the word "God" to "God of my understanding", but the sentiment is right on the money.... Enjoy!! Tom MEMO FROM GOD To: YOU Date: TODAY From: THE BOSS Subject: YOURSELF Referenc...	canadianguy	5	526	May 19, 2006 by sandy w
	Prayers needed (Preview) Hello Roomies, My grandfather goes into surgery for a double bypass at 6:30am. Please pray for him. I love him so much. And I know he is in God's hands and that is such a comfort. But I still can't help but be scared that I am going to lose my hero. Thanks for your support. Much Love,	Dolphin123	10	343	May 19, 2006 by sandy w
	MY "A", broken heart - hopeful (Preview) I have not heard from my A since Fri afternoon of last week. I sent a letter to him Mon - not asking for an explanation, more letting him know I love him and will never turn my back on him and that I will love him forever, pray for him always, and hope for the best for a wonderful and worthwhile person......	jennneeefffurrr	11	570	May 19, 2006 by sparkette
	Brother called me tonight - said I'm needed to testify July 27th (Preview) He saved the emails from Jan/Feb. I called our mother controlling, etc. He doesnt see that having me testify may be detrimental to his case.	Barbara	1	342	May 18, 2006 by abbyal
	Bubble has burst (Preview) Yes the bubble has burst big time. I have walked out and have rented a flat at an address only my daughter knows. The lies he is telling people is beyond belief. I cant cope any more with his drinking, its a litre or more of vodka a day and I cant compete. I feel exhausted its been&...	penny	6	390	May 18, 2006 by Jennifer
	Reflections (Preview) Reflections are from the Forum(meeting in my pocket) People who practice what they preach usually do a minimum of preching.Forum 1973 When you are ready to go over the edge remeber that God,in his wisdom and mercy,made the world round.Forum 1994	angel123	2	353	May 18, 2006 by Jerry F
	Need Advice (Preview) Got a question on recovery? I haven't been coming to the board or this site very long. I am learning detachment which I am finding to be more difficult lately for me. I find myself when talking to him talking about future. I know I shouldn't be doing that "how do I stop from getting myself roped in...	angeleyes8462	4	373	May 18, 2006 by Jerry F
	alcohol research (Preview) For anyone who cares to read, there is a wealth of information on this site regarding research being done on the scientific effects of alcohol. www.utexas.edu/research/asrec/alcoholfacts.html MsPeewee	peewee	2	387	May 18, 2006 by kent_s
	My story--OUR story (Preview) I am a wife of an alcoholic. I married him when I was 22 yrs old, and he was my best friend. My saviour from a homelife with a bipolar mother. I was independent, strong, and determined at that time, and had the great wall of China built up around me, and brick by brick, he knocked i...	Jennfer32	8	518	May 18, 2006 by justme
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.