Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I just need to vent today, I suppose. I know there's nothing I can do, but I still worry. He left the house yesterday morning when I was out. I called him when I got back. He said he'd be back in a couple of hours. (I knew he was dying to drink and I don't allow drink in my house.) Anyway,...

debilyn · debilyn

Strange to sit here and not know what to say. It's that way becuz it is all feelings. Have expresssed how much harder it is this time, to find my foundation again. It was so easy for the disease to play me. Let's let him out of the cocoon for awhile, let her have a taste of her soul mate, her lover. Then whe...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

i was in the chatroom yesterday and wanted to update those i spoke with and the rest of you. if you dont know my a and i split a little over three months ago. and i've been doing pretty good. he has not. he is very mentally unstable and went completly to cocaine. that is his choice. but the past month or so he ha...

Becky1 · Becky1

Thanks to all of you for all your good thoughts, prayers. I went to Doc today, finally got in after about 2 months of severe pain. Turns out I was right (I shoulda been a Doctor). I have Trigger Thumb. Funny name for a very painful disorder. Do you KNOW how often and much you us...

Powerless · Powerless

I wanted to check in and let everyone know that things are going well. I am still working my program in my f2f meetings. I have an A average in all of my classes in college and I had an ultrasound on Friday. The baby is a girl. I was hoping for a boy, but His Will not mine. Now I...

Phil · Phil

Fears are the greatest enemy of our individual potential. They keep us in place in our lives and stop us from being everything we could be. Everyone knows how it feels to be afraid. To be afraid is a normal, human characteristic. In fact, the more you develop your intelligence, the more things you have t...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Yesterday was our school's home coming dance....my daughter went and she looked lovely....she had no father there to tell her how beautiful she was...she did however have a mom..me...she cried a little she wanted her dad....my heart broke.....my son did not go..he just doesn'...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

I always knew this day would come...After 5 glorious weeks of responsible drinking by my AH he disappeared for 6 hours last night....not so bad compared to others but heartbreaking for me...I so enjoyed the last few weeks..it was so relaxing to have him home on time ..like a huge weight had been...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

"Unwritten" I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance ...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My ex has been here all weekend (my choice) and tonight I told him he had to go home. I know a lot of this is a control issue and I'm worried that the path I am going down is going to lead me to get sucked back in. Is it possible to keep the good (him helping out with the kids and around my house and the physical stuf...

barisax · barisax

Well, I am pretty sure there will be one... both of us pretty busy with stuff so it may be 2-3 weeks. It was a good time, I met some of her friends which I think all of us acknowledged without saying so, was her way of getting a "second opinion" of me.. LOL. It IS unfamiliar territory to have someone o...

DoN4me · DoN4me

It has been a few peaceful weeks with no chaos in my life. I have to admit it has been a wonderful break. The last few days for whatever reason I haven't been able to get my A off my mind. I kept feeling like I should call down there, but didn't. When I hear a knock at my door and the neighbo...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Let me start out by saying to all those who have followed my saga and kept us in their prayers. Although my AW is still pissed to no end at me, we (thank HP) didn't have any chaos last night. She said she went to the rehab clinic yesterday to talk with thier councelors. T...

barisax · barisax

This weekend I am going to go on a second date with a very nice lady. I haven't yet decided if this is a big deal or not... for most people I guess it wouldn't be. I wear my disgust for the human "mating ritual" on my sleeve. I always hold out for someone I can just "be real" with, and as you might expect, that mak...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, I had the ultrasound on Friday and then they gave me a mamogram after all. They are pretty sure that it is benign, but still not sure, so I am having a biopsy on Friday. So that is the update on my lump. And might I add that we should do self checks to help find lumps early! Yours in recover...

athena12 · athena12

My mom passed away on Tuesday. I was glad I got to say good bye and tell her I love her 10 minutes before it happened. She went into the hospital a month ago. She had 3 years after my alcoholic father died, but our family is pretty wounded, so I can't say she really had us to comfort her.&n...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am normally Ms Super dooper people pleaser martyr at work and in most social situations. This issue with the A's mother has been difficult. I have to say this normally I would be in there, hypereactive, fixing, trying to fix, taking care of everyone but me. This time I have stayed out of it so m...

annmarie · annmarie

I wondered why is my Abf suddenly more nasty than usual. It just seems to get worse everyday lately. I think he has an idea I'm thinking about leaving him. Is this fear really, showing itself as anger? Or does he really find me to be as awful as he says. I can't understand, because he seems to change so m...

serendipity · serendipity

i am going to disney on the 21st of october (florida) and staying for a week. does anyone know of any meetings in the area? or where i could get a schedual or where i would be getting a schedual for? like would it be orlando, or called something else? any info greatly apperciated....i'm going with my mom.....

Busbe · Busbe

I dont know where to start with this, someone I know will ask me for sure if I would like some cheese with my whine. My husband who took a short job in southern Michigan for 3 to 6 mos which landed him about 1 1/2 hrs from his A family went to see them yesterday. I was hoping he wouldnt open that keg of...

kicky · kicky

It's finally hit my A that I'm serious about him choosing rehab or moving out and I haven't shown signs of waivering. He wanted to "talk" last night, but I told him I prefer to talk about things when he was sober. (Cause of course he had been at the bar, after work, for 3 hours) So, thi...

arty · arty

Hi after spending the last few hours reading all the other posts i realised i was in the right place. I had tears in my eyes through most of it as i saw similarities in my life in so many of them... I am engaged and supposed to get married next year. before my A proposed to me hes was sober for just under a mo...

Rita G · Rita G

As I just read Rtexas' last post - it made my decision final that I needed to post this. So, first - Thanks Rtexas for your bravery and your post. Ok - here goes. Have you ever wondered about that point at which the obsession takes over and a "normal" person becomes an addict? It ha...

be4yourii · be4yourii

I just wanted to thank everyone who was in the chat room last night and listened to me. You guys really helped me get through a rough night. i also wanted to let you all know what happened after he came home. . . i'm pretty sure he didn't go to the bar, but he wouldn't give me a straight answer so maybe he...

lin0606 · lin0606

Life has been dealing my husband some real blows in the last little while. His mother died in early August. Since the death he has been finding out some very disturbing things about his sister, who had been living with her and looking after her. There is a lot of money missing, for instance ten thous...

Christy · Christy

I think whoever wrote this must have been in Alanon

*********************************************************************

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((Good morning family))))))))), It's a glorious day today! The

is coming up, the leaves are turning their brilliant colors and it's chilly! A perfect fall today. I am feeling much better today than I was yesterday. Today is a Piper, Pumpkin and Puppy Day! Hubb...

shadow1 · shadow1

HI everyone, Sharon, (Angel123) asked me to post that her computer is down. It totally fried

. So she won't be available for a while. She will try and get to her son's computer to read her email but that is the best she can do for now. I am praying that HP will provide for her and she will be able...

maresie2 · maresie2

Through this long saga of the A's mother moving I have been praying to see the moments of recovery. I see them. Apparently the new husband asked the A to move to wherever they live. He is considering it. Before I have to say this I would be mortified he did not consid...

greta · greta

Things have been kind of topsy turvey the last couple of days. My brother has lung cancer, and for the last 6-8 weeks has gone thru testing. The results have been that it was contained to the left lung and that they would remove the lung. Now out of the blue we have found out that the tes...

maresie2 · maresie2

I swear if I ever ever get into another relationship before I commit I want to look at the family issues. As you all know the As mother decided to get married a few weeks ago. Quite out of the blue. Before then she had been the penltimate widow. She never dated anyone. She went to so...

Jill · Jill

Lilms posted about its importance, but I don't really understand it. It feels like I am embarassed or ashamed to need help. I'm proud I attend alanon and am taking care of myself in that manner. I am more grown up than to tell someone else's story or out them, but it feels like the "before" behavior. Can an...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I remember reading from one of our member's "Why do we have to be nice?" Well, dearest, just to prove that I chew my tounge off from biting it.... So yesterday I talked to my neurologist at my counselor's encouragment. Even though the migranes had gotten better they still hadn't gone...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Good Morning (((Everyone))) I've been thinking about this concept for a while now and another post brought it to the front of my mind again. I grew up with I guess what you would call hippie parents, not addicts or alcoholics but they definitely took advantage of the times and nothing was hi...

purplebutterfly · purplebutterfly

My A while I was online stated to be that my sponsor was past her bed time. My A doesnt like me talking to my sponsor. Is actually really jelous of me talking to my sponsor. Any suggestions.

sld488 · sld488

Would someone explain to me the meaning or definition of the letters H.A.L.T. Thank you!

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

I am amazed with all the progress in recovery I have been making. I was able to tell my AH it was time to end it last January. Through recovery, I was able to tell him to go when it got to a point that I was no longer willing to tolerate with relative ease. I didn't have to mean about it.&nbs...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family)))))))), Good morning. I've been struggling a bit with a few things. Nothing major, but things that have been just causing me a bit of angst. Kind of stuck, not moving foward, etc. Well I went to do my daily mediation reading from Hazelden this mor...

hersh · hersh

((((Everyone))) After being woken up lastnight by drunk AH and listening to his arrogance and hate words (I sat up but then just went to bed), I woke up this morning and told him goodbye when I left. I asked him if he remembered what happened lastnight. He said, "no, was I messing with you...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Family))) Thanks to all who wrote in their thoughts and feelings to my post on my marriage proposal. I took in each of your points and gave all my concerns, hopes, and dreams to HP. My family has been suprisingly supportive and just basically said all they want is our happiness.&nbs...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, my Abf's friend comes out of rehab next week. He's trouble and my instincts tell me to keep well away from him. But seems he's this great buddy, and he will be around. I have to get used to it! Anyway, I've been really nervous about this for the past few weeks and have not handled it very well. I'...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((((Everyone)))))))) You know.... I struggled so much after getting here about if to stay or go or what? I got some wonderful advise about giving it time and when it's right.... I will know. Well, needless to say we had a really bad weekend. I won't go into great detail, but she was...

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

My husband died of a brain tumor about 7 years ago. His emotions were out of control due to the tumor and meds he was on. A lot of the time he was unreasonable. I suffered a lot of panic attacks that seemed vaguely familiar. Once, in particular he was haranguing me about the venetian blinds. I started to pan...

rosedawn · rosedawn

Hi im Dawn, Ive been coming here for 3 yrs now,without this room i dont know how i would handle this situation.Well anyways my sister had a stroke,alot of brain damage and cant walk or move arm etc......But the warning signs were there her pressure was high she had light flashes in her eyes.I offered h...

Phil · Phil

Letting Go: The Journey for your Life - Letting Go By Barry Elwin-Jones WHAT IS LETTING GO? Letting go can be the most terrifying experience we can have. Letting go means having no support mechanism for our egos. Put simply, when we let go, we trust that everything is going to work out in our best i...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Hi ((((((friends)))))) I had another bad day Tuesday.Cried all day.But it seems every time I have one of those days I take a step forward after it.I seem to learn from it.This time my eyes have been opened.I think I have found that elusive compassion Alanon tells us to have for alcoholics. Now,kee...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) I heard a song on the radio this morning on the way to work. I had been ... uh... rocking my therapy I guess. The others on the road hopefully thought I was on my hands free cell phone. LOL Just before I hit the parking lot a song by Blue October came on. I have heard this song hundreds o...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, The thing that always gets me on this board is that so often, others are feeling so similar to me. It is always so comforting to be reminded that I am not alone. Life has been calm lately.(as calm as life with 7 children can be) The kids and I go about our daily lives. My front door is all bu...

lilms · lilms

Hi all, A quick note to remind all of us how important anonymity is to the success of this program. I was at the mall yesterday shopping with my wife. We ran into a mutual acquaintance and stopped to say hi. She is from my f2f group and never let on that I had ever been there bless her. The...

krusland · krusland

Hi everyone. I'm new to these boards. I was just married a month ago, and my new AH went into detox and rehab a week ago. I thought everything was going great. I mean, he had some slips in the past, but swore to me he was doing really well, which I believed. I never really thought it was this serious. I am s...

annmarie · annmarie

Can an A be an affectionate person? I have been doing a lot of thinking. Lack of simple affection is a real issue for me. It causes a lot of problems for me. Maybe I'm too defensive and self protective to allow affection. AM

bluegrassgal · bluegrassgal

What was said about Alanon being an A's worst nightmare is true. My husband and I were both asked to speak at an Alanon meeting I didn't attend regularly. When his turn came, he said "Ladies and Gentlemen", you will never no how you are screwing up someone's enjoyment of drinkng by coming to these meetin...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))))))), Just curious. I remember when hubby got out of rehab and they stressed 90 meetings in 90 days. (He being the classic over achiever did 90 meetings in 90 minutes lol! still relapsed) My local alanon group never talks about things like that. How many meetings you...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Where would I be without my AW. Probably in rehab myself or dead. ..... why would I say that. My Father was an active A most of my life. He didn't find sobriety until the fine state of Texas gave him a choice. Go to rehab or go to jail. It was his first...

Tammy · Tammy

Well, yesterday was a very difficult day for my husband it was the 2nd anniversary of his mothers death. As you know he is living in a camper after I kicked him out nearly 4 weeks ago. Last night he went to his fathers and then the grave site and said he would call me later. I said okay and went on .. I too...

rainydayz · rainydayz

Last night I talked to my A for the fist time in almost 2 weeks. He is still using/drinking and is so far in his addiction that its frightening. I am 4000 miles away from our home.. and him and I feel helpless. He told me he loves me and wants to come here to be with me and get help. He says he needs to go but will ca...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Just wondering if someone is verbally abusive to you drunk or not, why must we "not say it mean"? Don't you think that sometimes a cold hard word is effective at making someone stop to think? I don't mean just to be hurtful but to say what is true whether it hurts or not. IE I don'...

CoffeeBean3 · CoffeeBean3

I cannot get very detailed right now as my time is in short supply at the moment, but I am in some seriously desperate need of ESH. My A has decided to attempt getting sober. I don't know what precipitated this epiphany and I won't question it. So far he's made two AA meetings...

jaja · jaja

Well, I did go ahead and tell my A that I was going to put myself in Al-Anon again. I figured it was safe to call him since he had been over the other day to fix something in the house and we were nice to each other. So I told him about the bill collectors who keep...

kicky · kicky

Sunday,after a month long rollercoaster binge of alcohol and drugs, I asked my A to make a choice...enter rehab (again) or move out of my house and life. So of course the routine went...anger, denial, and today...quiet submissiveness. He called at work to pretend like I was just "over reacting" and I...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	he stayed away (Preview) Hi everyone, I just need to vent today, I suppose. I know there's nothing I can do, but I still worry. He left the house yesterday morning when I was out. I called him when I got back. He said he'd be back in a couple of hours. (I knew he was dying to drink and I don't allow drink in my house.) Anyway,...	annmarie	2	278	Oct 17, 2006 by hersh
	It hurts (Preview) Strange to sit here and not know what to say. It's that way becuz it is all feelings. Have expresssed how much harder it is this time, to find my foundation again. It was so easy for the disease to play me. Let's let him out of the cocoon for awhile, let her have a taste of her soul mate, her lover. Then whe...	debilyn	13	1264	Oct 17, 2006 by hersh
	my update and letting go (Preview) i was in the chatroom yesterday and wanted to update those i spoke with and the rest of you. if you dont know my a and i split a little over three months ago. and i've been doing pretty good. he has not. he is very mentally unstable and went completly to cocaine. that is his choice. but the past month or so he ha...	notsonew1111	4	462	Oct 17, 2006 by erin in ny
	Update on My Hand Pain (Preview) Thanks to all of you for all your good thoughts, prayers. I went to Doc today, finally got in after about 2 months of severe pain. Turns out I was right (I shoulda been a Doctor). I have Trigger Thumb. Funny name for a very painful disorder. Do you KNOW how often and much you us...	Becky1	4	441	Oct 17, 2006 by kingston
	It's a girl!!! (Preview) I wanted to check in and let everyone know that things are going well. I am still working my program in my f2f meetings. I have an A average in all of my classes in college and I had an ultrasound on Friday. The baby is a girl. I was hoping for a boy, but His Will not mine. Now I...	Powerless	9	364	Oct 17, 2006 by Karilynn
	The Enemy Within (Preview) Fears are the greatest enemy of our individual potential. They keep us in place in our lives and stop us from being everything we could be. Everyone knows how it feels to be afraid. To be afraid is a normal, human characteristic. In fact, the more you develop your intelligence, the more things you have t...	Phil	5	508	Oct 17, 2006 by annmarie
	Trying to Maintain (Preview) Hello Friends, Yesterday was our school's home coming dance....my daughter went and she looked lovely....she had no father there to tell her how beautiful she was...she did however have a mom..me...she cried a little she wanted her dad....my heart broke.....my son did not go..he just doesn'...	Andrea12	6	400	Oct 17, 2006 by mel123
	A Test (Preview) I always knew this day would come...After 5 glorious weeks of responsible drinking by my AH he disappeared for 6 hours last night....not so bad compared to others but heartbreaking for me...I so enjoyed the last few weeks..it was so relaxing to have him home on time ..like a huge weight had been...	Elizabeth M	1	302	Oct 16, 2006 by Lunamoth
	More lyrics... (Preview) "Unwritten" I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned Staring at the blank page before you Open up the dirty window Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find Reaching for something in the distance ...	carolinagirl	0	242	Oct 16, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Slippin (Preview) My ex has been here all weekend (my choice) and tonight I told him he had to go home. I know a lot of this is a control issue and I'm worried that the path I am going down is going to lead me to get sucked back in. Is it possible to keep the good (him helping out with the kids and around my house and the physical stuf...	carolinagirl	5	298	Oct 16, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Third Date? (Preview) Well, I am pretty sure there will be one... both of us pretty busy with stuff so it may be 2-3 weeks. It was a good time, I met some of her friends which I think all of us acknowledged without saying so, was her way of getting a "second opinion" of me.. LOL. It IS unfamiliar territory to have someone o...	barisax	1	280	Oct 16, 2006 by lmt123
	Letter from A (Preview) It has been a few peaceful weeks with no chaos in my life. I have to admit it has been a wonderful break. The last few days for whatever reason I haven't been able to get my A off my mind. I kept feeling like I should call down there, but didn't. When I hear a knock at my door and the neighbo...	DoN4me	1	370	Oct 16, 2006 by lin0606
	Worried about disapointing (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Let me start out by saying to all those who have followed my saga and kept us in their prayers. Although my AW is still pissed to no end at me, we (thank HP) didn't have any chaos last night. She said she went to the rehab clinic yesterday to talk with thier councelors. T...	rtexas	12	425	Oct 16, 2006 by twinmom2
	Second Date (Preview) This weekend I am going to go on a second date with a very nice lady. I haven't yet decided if this is a big deal or not... for most people I guess it wouldn't be. I wear my disgust for the human "mating ritual" on my sleeve. I always hold out for someone I can just "be real" with, and as you might expect, that mak...	barisax	7	313	Oct 16, 2006 by Jeannie
	Had the UltraSound (Preview) Hi all, I had the ultrasound on Friday and then they gave me a mamogram after all. They are pretty sure that it is benign, but still not sure, so I am having a biopsy on Friday. So that is the update on my lump. And might I add that we should do self checks to help find lumps early! Yours in recover...	Dolphin123	12	412	Oct 16, 2006 by Jeannie
	my Mom (Preview) My mom passed away on Tuesday. I was glad I got to say good bye and tell her I love her 10 minutes before it happened. She went into the hospital a month ago. She had 3 years after my alcoholic father died, but our family is pretty wounded, so I can't say she really had us to comfort her.&n...	athena12	7	399	Oct 16, 2006 by athena12
	the family stuff (Preview) I am normally Ms Super dooper people pleaser martyr at work and in most social situations. This issue with the A's mother has been difficult. I have to say this normally I would be in there, hypereactive, fixing, trying to fix, taking care of everyone but me. This time I have stayed out of it so m...	maresie2	2	280	Oct 16, 2006 by twinmom2
	trying to understand the madness (Preview) I wondered why is my Abf suddenly more nasty than usual. It just seems to get worse everyday lately. I think he has an idea I'm thinking about leaving him. Is this fear really, showing itself as anger? Or does he really find me to be as awful as he says. I can't understand, because he seems to change so m...	annmarie	4	343	Oct 16, 2006 by annmarie
	disney anyone? (Preview) i am going to disney on the 21st of october (florida) and staying for a week. does anyone know of any meetings in the area? or where i could get a schedual or where i would be getting a schedual for? like would it be orlando, or called something else? any info greatly apperciated....i'm going with my mom.....	serendipity	5	4072	Oct 16, 2006 by Barbara
	Inlaw worries (Preview) I dont know where to start with this, someone I know will ask me for sure if I would like some cheese with my whine. My husband who took a short job in southern Michigan for 3 to 6 mos which landed him about 1 1/2 hrs from his A family went to see them yesterday. I was hoping he wouldnt open that keg of...	Busbe	3	276	Oct 15, 2006 by drucilla06
	A started the bargaining (Preview) It's finally hit my A that I'm serious about him choosing rehab or moving out and I haven't shown signs of waivering. He wanted to "talk" last night, but I told him I prefer to talk about things when he was sober. (Cause of course he had been at the bar, after work, for 3 hours) So, thi...	kicky	6	370	Oct 15, 2006 by maresie2
	new here (Preview) Hi after spending the last few hours reading all the other posts i realised i was in the right place. I had tears in my eyes through most of it as i saw similarities in my life in so many of them... I am engaged and supposed to get married next year. before my A proposed to me hes was sober for just under a mo...	arty	6	340	Oct 15, 2006 by lin0606
	Have you ever?? (Preview) As I just read Rtexas' last post - it made my decision final that I needed to post this. So, first - Thanks Rtexas for your bravery and your post. Ok - here goes. Have you ever wondered about that point at which the obsession takes over and a "normal" person becomes an addict? It ha...	Rita G	11	466	Oct 15, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	thanks everyone (Preview) I just wanted to thank everyone who was in the chat room last night and listened to me. You guys really helped me get through a rough night. i also wanted to let you all know what happened after he came home. . . i'm pretty sure he didn't go to the bar, but he wouldn't give me a straight answer so maybe he...	be4yourii	1	283	Oct 15, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Send a little comfort our way, please (Preview) Life has been dealing my husband some real blows in the last little while. His mother died in early August. Since the death he has been finding out some very disturbing things about his sister, who had been living with her and looking after her. There is a lot of money missing, for instance ten thous...	lin0606	9	485	Oct 15, 2006 by lin0606
	Daily Motivation (Preview) I think whoever wrote this must have been in Alanon*********************************************************************	Christy	4	593	Oct 15, 2006 by ET
	A Piper, Pumpkin and Puppy Day! (Preview) (((((((((Good morning family))))))))), It's a glorious day today! The is coming up, the leaves are turning their brilliant colors and it's chilly! A perfect fall today. I am feeling much better today than I was yesterday. Today is a Piper, Pumpkin and Puppy Day! Hubb...	Karilynn	10	325	Oct 15, 2006 by leo
	A message from Angel123 (Preview) HI everyone, Sharon, (Angel123) asked me to post that her computer is down. It totally fried. So she won't be available for a while. She will try and get to her son's computer to read her email but that is the best she can do for now. I am praying that HP will provide for her and she will be able...	shadow1	1	584	Oct 14, 2006 by mastiff
	signs of recovery at last (Preview) Through this long saga of the A's mother moving I have been praying to see the moments of recovery. I see them. Apparently the new husband asked the A to move to wherever they live. He is considering it. Before I have to say this I would be mortified he did not consid...	maresie2	1	408	Oct 14, 2006 by athena12
	getting it out (Preview) Things have been kind of topsy turvey the last couple of days. My brother has lung cancer, and for the last 6-8 weeks has gone thru testing. The results have been that it was contained to the left lung and that they would remove the lung. Now out of the blue we have found out that the tes...	greta	4	378	Oct 14, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	detaching by the second (Preview) I swear if I ever ever get into another relationship before I commit I want to look at the family issues. As you all know the As mother decided to get married a few weeks ago. Quite out of the blue. Before then she had been the penltimate widow. She never dated anyone. She went to so...	maresie2	3	412	Oct 14, 2006 by maresie2
	Anonymity question (Preview) Lilms posted about its importance, but I don't really understand it. It feels like I am embarassed or ashamed to need help. I'm proud I attend alanon and am taking care of myself in that manner. I am more grown up than to tell someone else's story or out them, but it feels like the "before" behavior. Can an...	Jill	9	455	Oct 14, 2006 by annah
	Remind me (again) I'm gonna be okay... (Preview) I remember reading from one of our member's "Why do we have to be nice?" Well, dearest, just to prove that I chew my tounge off from biting it.... So yesterday I talked to my neurologist at my counselor's encouragment. Even though the migranes had gotten better they still hadn't gone...	Tiger2006	8	464	Oct 14, 2006 by isabela40
	Survivor guilt? (Preview) Good Morning (((Everyone))) I've been thinking about this concept for a while now and another post brought it to the front of my mind again. I grew up with I guess what you would call hippie parents, not addicts or alcoholics but they definitely took advantage of the times and nothing was hi...	Jennifer	5	426	Oct 14, 2006 by Karilynn
	jelous A (Preview) My A while I was online stated to be that my sponsor was past her bed time. My A doesnt like me talking to my sponsor. Is actually really jelous of me talking to my sponsor. Any suggestions.	purplebutterfly	6	408	Oct 14, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	Definition of H.A.L.T.? (Preview) Would someone explain to me the meaning or definition of the letters H.A.L.T. Thank you!	sld488	4	3266	Oct 13, 2006 by barisax
	Divorce Final Tomorrow. (Preview) I am amazed with all the progress in recovery I have been making. I was able to tell my AH it was time to end it last January. Through recovery, I was able to tell him to go when it got to a point that I was no longer willing to tolerate with relative ease. I didn't have to mean about it.&nbs...	ZiggyDoodles	6	373	Oct 13, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Turning it over to HP (Preview) ((((((((Family)))))))), Good morning. I've been struggling a bit with a few things. Nothing major, but things that have been just causing me a bit of angst. Kind of stuck, not moving foward, etc. Well I went to do my daily mediation reading from Hazelden this mor...	Karilynn	4	316	Oct 13, 2006 by maresie2
	A getaway.... (Preview) ((((Everyone))) After being woken up lastnight by drunk AH and listening to his arrogance and hate words (I sat up but then just went to bed), I woke up this morning and told him goodbye when I left. I asked him if he remembered what happened lastnight. He said, "no, was I messing with you...	hersh	8	299	Oct 13, 2006 by maresie2
	Still here hanging in (Preview) (((Family))) Thanks to all who wrote in their thoughts and feelings to my post on my marriage proposal. I took in each of your points and gave all my concerns, hopes, and dreams to HP. My family has been suprisingly supportive and just basically said all they want is our happiness.&nbs...	twinmom2	3	348	Oct 13, 2006 by maresie2
	I've had just about enough (Preview) Hi everyone, my Abf's friend comes out of rehab next week. He's trouble and my instincts tell me to keep well away from him. But seems he's this great buddy, and he will be around. I have to get used to it! Anyway, I've been really nervous about this for the past few weeks and have not handled it very well. I'...	annmarie	5	487	Oct 13, 2006 by maresie2
	My bottom... (Preview) (((((((Everyone)))))))) You know.... I struggled so much after getting here about if to stay or go or what? I got some wonderful advise about giving it time and when it's right.... I will know. Well, needless to say we had a really bad weekend. I won't go into great detail, but she was...	rtexas	15	572	Oct 13, 2006 by maresie2
	flahsbacks (Preview) My husband died of a brain tumor about 7 years ago. His emotions were out of control due to the tumor and meds he was on. A lot of the time he was unreasonable. I suffered a lot of panic attacks that seemed vaguely familiar. Once, in particular he was haranguing me about the venetian blinds. I started to pan...	bluegrassgal	2	306	Oct 13, 2006 by just me
	hard times (Preview) Hi im Dawn, Ive been coming here for 3 yrs now,without this room i dont know how i would handle this situation.Well anyways my sister had a stroke,alot of brain damage and cant walk or move arm etc......But the warning signs were there her pressure was high she had light flashes in her eyes.I offered h...	rosedawn	4	420	Oct 13, 2006 by just me
	Thought I'd Share this...If it helps someone? Thats all that matters.. (Preview) Letting Go: The Journey for your Life - Letting Go By Barry Elwin-Jones WHAT IS LETTING GO? Letting go can be the most terrifying experience we can have. Letting go means having no support mechanism for our egos. Put simply, when we let go, we trust that everything is going to work out in our best i...	Phil	5	1327	Oct 13, 2006 by hersh
	compassion for the alcoholic (Preview) Hi ((((((friends)))))) I had another bad day Tuesday.Cried all day.But it seems every time I have one of those days I take a step forward after it.I seem to learn from it.This time my eyes have been opened.I think I have found that elusive compassion Alanon tells us to have for alcoholics. Now,kee...	drucilla06	4	693	Oct 13, 2006 by Jill
	Hate me today... (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) I heard a song on the radio this morning on the way to work. I had been ... uh... rocking my therapy I guess. The others on the road hopefully thought I was on my hands free cell phone. LOL Just before I hit the parking lot a song by Blue October came on. I have heard this song hundreds o...	rtexas	7	550	Oct 13, 2006 by kitty
	lonely (Preview) Hi everyone, The thing that always gets me on this board is that so often, others are feeling so similar to me. It is always so comforting to be reminded that I am not alone. Life has been calm lately.(as calm as life with 7 children can be) The kids and I go about our daily lives. My front door is all bu...	Jeannie	6	332	Oct 13, 2006 by Jeannie
	Breaking anonymity (Preview) Hi all, A quick note to remind all of us how important anonymity is to the success of this program. I was at the mall yesterday shopping with my wife. We ran into a mutual acquaintance and stopped to say hi. She is from my f2f group and never let on that I had ever been there bless her. The...	lilms	14	1410	Oct 13, 2006 by lin0606
	new - need some advice! (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new to these boards. I was just married a month ago, and my new AH went into detox and rehab a week ago. I thought everything was going great. I mean, he had some slips in the past, but swore to me he was doing really well, which I believed. I never really thought it was this serious. I am s...	krusland	4	464	Oct 13, 2006 by annmarie
	affection (Preview) Can an A be an affectionate person? I have been doing a lot of thinking. Lack of simple affection is a real issue for me. It causes a lot of problems for me. Maybe I'm too defensive and self protective to allow affection. AM	annmarie	4	321	Oct 13, 2006 by annmarie
	A's worst nightmare (Preview) What was said about Alanon being an A's worst nightmare is true. My husband and I were both asked to speak at an Alanon meeting I didn't attend regularly. When his turn came, he said "Ladies and Gentlemen", you will never no how you are screwing up someone's enjoyment of drinkng by coming to these meetin...	bluegrassgal	4	406	Oct 12, 2006 by purplebutterfly
	How many meetings? (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))))))), Just curious. I remember when hubby got out of rehab and they stressed 90 meetings in 90 days. (He being the classic over achiever did 90 meetings in 90 minutes lol! still relapsed) My local alanon group never talks about things like that. How many meetings you...	Karilynn	7	530	Oct 12, 2006 by mastiff
	Where would I be... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Where would I be without my AW. Probably in rehab myself or dead. ..... why would I say that. My Father was an active A most of my life. He didn't find sobriety until the fine state of Texas gave him a choice. Go to rehab or go to jail. It was his first...	rtexas	5	384	Oct 12, 2006 by Lakegirl
	My husbands sobriety ends :( (Preview) Well, yesterday was a very difficult day for my husband it was the 2nd anniversary of his mothers death. As you know he is living in a camper after I kicked him out nearly 4 weeks ago. Last night he went to his fathers and then the grave site and said he would call me later. I said okay and went on .. I too...	Tammy	10	360	Oct 12, 2006 by TLC2
	cheating (Preview) Last night I talked to my A for the fist time in almost 2 weeks. He is still using/drinking and is so far in his addiction that its frightening. I am 4000 miles away from our home.. and him and I feel helpless. He told me he loves me and wants to come here to be with me and get help. He says he needs to go but will ca...	rainydayz	7	560	Oct 12, 2006 by isabela40
	Why do we have to be nice? (Preview) Just wondering if someone is verbally abusive to you drunk or not, why must we "not say it mean"? Don't you think that sometimes a cold hard word is effective at making someone stop to think? I don't mean just to be hurtful but to say what is true whether it hurts or not. IE I don'...	carolinagirl	10	501	Oct 12, 2006 by Diva
	Need ESH Desperately, please.... (Preview) I cannot get very detailed right now as my time is in short supply at the moment, but I am in some seriously desperate need of ESH. My A has decided to attempt getting sober. I don't know what precipitated this epiphany and I won't question it. So far he's made two AA meetings...	CoffeeBean3	8	433	Oct 12, 2006 by debilyn
	slipped a little, i guess (Preview) Well, I did go ahead and tell my A that I was going to put myself in Al-Anon again. I figured it was safe to call him since he had been over the other day to fix something in the house and we were nice to each other. So I told him about the bill collectors who keep...	jaja	2	378	Oct 12, 2006 by debilyn
	Said what I mean...but didn't say it mean (Preview) Sunday,after a month long rollercoaster binge of alcohol and drugs, I asked my A to make a choice...enter rehab (again) or move out of my house and life. So of course the routine went...anger, denial, and today...quiet submissiveness. He called at work to pretend like I was just "over reacting" and I...	kicky	4	432	Oct 12, 2006 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.