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sorry for the post
(Preview)
sorry for adding the post again,i didnt see that it came on cause im not on my computer,sorry
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bev
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1
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442
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anyone there who is an a and an al-anon?
(Preview)
hi all i am new to this format and am looking to get some experience strength and hope from al-anon.i have 9.5 years clean from chemicals( no drugs etoh) BUT my husband is an active and really sick drunk. how is that for twisted?I didnt get enuf pain torturing myself I had to stay w a active drinker.i was...
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gr8tful
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4
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414
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Hard Day...Hard Share
(Preview)
I have come to realize that I work with dishonest people. People I don't trust. This realization is really bothersome. It is hurting me. It is not a safe place for my spirit. I feel as if I am the only one working and even sacrificing to get the job done. Like they know if I am there the job will g...
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Leetle
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4
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482
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Chaos theory
(Preview)
One other issue that really came up for me when I was reading "The Glass Castle" was the constant chaos. That is how I lived as a child. That is also pretty much how I have lived as an adult. When I meet someone who also lives in constant chaos there is no red flags. Where I work is constant chaos....
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maresie2
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1
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640
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Should I Offer An Olive Branch To My AH?
(Preview)
I have not spoken to my AH since December 26 because of a heated falling out and I made a conscience decision to completely detatch from him and my life has been so much better since then, not perfect but so much more peaceful. After going to my first Al-Anon meeting and reading posts here I am wondering if...
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kellygirl
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8
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473
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6 week check up uuggghhh
(Preview)
((((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))) Well I thought I would give you an update on my six week check post surgery. I told the Doc that I have been having some pain again and it’s like the original pain. He told me that it’s either ANOTHER disc or permanent damage. I have to go for another MRI sometime in Mar...
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shadow1
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10
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490
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Angerrrrrr!!!!!
(Preview)
I'm soooo angry right now. I'm mot usually the one who screams and shouts. I bottle up things inside and be the doormat person. but today, he put the last straw on this camel. I yelled back at him. told his how hurtful he was, and that he isn't the only one hurt in this relationship. then I walk...
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chauri
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2
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336
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Ugh, Hubby's lawyer may have helped him out of going to treatment
(Preview)
Hi all, Well my hubby called me from the pokey on Tuesday. He had met with his lawyer for one of his old charges (DUI, not following through with treatment). Before that point he met with this lawyer he was going to ask for whatever time the judge wanted to close the case and was also going to request that he...
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Dolphin123
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11
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533
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Hitting their bottom
(Preview)
I think it happened. I truly can't tell you if this was it or not. It seemed like it. I almost left him on Sunday after a war of the worlds (or words!) again. I was completely done with the emotional abuse. Then came the drink after being sober for a couple of weeks. It was his first hard try, I almost kne...
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texsmama
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4
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467
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a fresh start?
(Preview)
Hi all, i'm new here, but i've been attending al-anon meetings for almost 11 months now. some background info b4 i continue...i've been in a relationship with an addict for over 8 years now, our 3rd wedding anniversary will be in the fall. we now have 2 girls, 10 yrs (from a previous re...
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4LLCandMe
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6
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488
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I started it
(Preview)
I don't know what is wrong with me, I know what things set him off and I know that I have to just back off. Is that right? I am still trying to live with this guy and it is so hard. I came home after being gone all day and he was sitting on the computer. I told him I had to use it and he let me, but it was moving so sl...
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RainyJamie
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7
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365
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He's in jail...again
(Preview)
Just when everything seemed to be mellowing out, he had a place to stay, a job and was paying support and seeing the kids...all hell breaks loose again. Maybe that is just my dramatic rendition of the story. Anyway, last week I was on the fence going back and forth about giving him another chance, etc a...
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carolinagirl
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3
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557
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Seeing myself in others (at work)
(Preview)
For most of my life I have believed that I was never part of the problem at work. I have really bought into that I had an awful supervisors (and I had some doozys) and terrible co workers and really bad environments. I started a new job recently (albeit a temporary job) I can never quite muster up to gettin...
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maresie2
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1
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365
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Should I have stayed
(Preview)
I'm struggling lately with whether I should have stayed living with my ex(A) or moved back in with him -would that have solved things. Because even though we have been apart a year now almost to the day, we are still arguing over drinking, he is still drinking. It's like the same stuff as when...
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mama_nz
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4
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444
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Update - AH still gone but not exactly missing!
(Preview)
Ok - so as of this morning....my AH has been gone for one solid week. Off smoking his crack, probably feeling sorry for himself. Boo hoo. Yea right! I know he is alive for 2 reasons.....I can track his credit card cash advances to know he is still withdrawing money. AND he called his sister last night a...
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QOD
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7
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395
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Second Guessing Myself...Please Help
(Preview)
Since I attended my first Al-Anon meeting this week, a whole host of feelings have emerged within me...a lot of good, but some bad. The most prevelant feeling I have been getting is "Is My H Really An Alcoholic?" I know that when he was living at home with us he was, but he has been gone since l...
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kellygirl
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5
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543
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The Awakening....
(Preview)
((((((Everyone)))))) Not long after I got here, someone posted this for me. I don't really know where it comes from, but I saved it. I read these things I have saved over time when I am feeling a need and I decided with all the new members here lately that someone may want to read it. Hope you enjoy it...
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rtexas
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6
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421
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i was just sitting here minding my own my business when..........,
(Preview)
i was just sitting here minding my own business when........, my husband walked in last night with our one year old grandaughter. i looked at him and i said, ''what's this?'' i was feeling exhausted but quite proud of myself because i had managed to straighten up the house and co...
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jewely
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6
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457
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I must be a sucker for punishment
(Preview)
My ex (A) emailed me to say he's sorry, that it hurts him like hell that I don't want to be with him anymore and that he had lots he still wanted to say and he hopes to hear from me. Well curiosity got the better of me and I ended up calling him tonight, and woah what a mistake that was. I was the one that...
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mama_nz
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6
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527
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Still doing pretty good
(Preview)
Well I'm still doing pretty good. Haven't talked to the A since I dropped him off Saturday night at his sponsor's house (where he currently resides). I have thought about calling but then thought why bother. Of course when I do call he'll say it's only because I want my child s...
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carolinagirl
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3
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381
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Sorry is not a 4-letter word
(Preview)
So, after last weekend's incident with my ex (A) (drinking again) he's now emailed me to say sorry. I pulled the phone out of the wall the day after it happened -more to stop myself from calling him and giving him a piece of my mind, and so I wouldn't be tempted to talk if he called. I've...
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mama_nz
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5
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739
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The guilt passes onto to everyone
(Preview)
(((MIP Friends))) This week has been a challenging week. Still no work for my AH. I have been working short hours at work so that I can be available for the kids because I could not put them in daycare this week either. I did this so that my AH could work. He has now had to resort to day labor; which to say t...
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twinmom2
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6
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543
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My AH took a big step last night
(Preview)
(((Happy Friday MIP Friends))) My AH went to a first time individual session with our therapist last night. I did well with detaching emotionally and just giving over my hopes and fears to HP. I simply asked if the session went o.k. but did not ask him to get into details. Later on he told me on his ow...
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twinmom2
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4
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452
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Four Weeks Ago Today...(Smiles)
(Preview)
Hi everyone!!! I'm just poppin' in to say "howdy ya'll"...it's been 4 weeks ago today that I left my AH...and to let ya's know I'm doing well. I don't have a job yet, but that will come in time. My last paycheck from the bus driving job was wayyyyyy more...
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afmom03
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4
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460
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He's going to start "seeing other people"
(Preview)
Well AH came over last Friday and stayed till Sat. and I could barely stand that long. First about 10 mins after he got in the car he asked if we were going to get back together or not (I'm afraid if I say no the support will stop and if I say yes I'm setting myself up) so I say I don't know. He says...
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carolinagirl
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7
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746
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Holding myself back
(Preview)
(((Friends))) I had a thought this morning that I wanted to share with the group. Maybe someone else is experiencing this as well. Today's courage to Change was about doing what is best for my life, living my life the way I want it and giving myself what I need to be happy. Thinking about this sent...
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twinmom2
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4
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485
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Update
(Preview)
I have not been posting much because (a) I did not have the internet at home (the A allowed the service to be cut off. For me that used to be a sticking point. I would go "off" on the a when it was down. This time I did not and it was pretty hard to manage the resentments and the difficulty of using th...
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maresie2
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0
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278
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marisie
(Preview)
mary I hope I was not too tough on you!!! please come back and post I am concerned!!!! I do not trust your A at all!!! love,debilyn
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debilyn
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1
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297
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Sponsor conflict
(Preview)
I of course left out the part of the conversation that disturbed me the most because it is literally stuck inside my head. he said that he wanted to drag me behind his truck. This is what I had found so disturbing, knowing our background. Those are pretty strong words.
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Riley
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3
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376
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step 1
(Preview)
cant seem to accomplish step 1! what the h#ll is wrong with me?? I keep brushing dirt under the carpet thinking the pain will go away. My a is out of control and trying to take his family down with him. I'm on my way and am so good at denial. By the way, any idea why I turned into a massive control freak?:fu...
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mandy
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6
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478
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i moved
(Preview)
hi all i finally did it i moved..after i left my AH sold everything in the house for crack,and beer thern to make things worse my monthly settlement check to the house instead of coming here in ny{i had the addy changed and everything and also in formed the bank about him trying to cash my check if it goes th...
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bev
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2
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367
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Feeling better today. All dressed, and ready for "lunch."
(Preview)
Ok, I admit I am excited, which is a good thing considering how scared and concerned I have been over my recent "event." I'll let you all know about the Bad, Bad One when I get home. His voice sounds the same...husky and sexy...Ah, what fun!!!! Of course I know that I must take life easy fo...
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Diva
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5
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500
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i left
(Preview)
well i left florida.on friday..AH tried to call my daughter but they wouldnt talk to him..on friday before we eft my daughter and son in law went back to the house to get my son in laws car and trailor,when they got there my daughter went in the house and everything was gone even his truck,but he was there e...
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bev
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8
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423
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What books would you recommend?
(Preview)
What books would you recommend Beginners read first? Wilted
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Wilted
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5
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510
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letting go and letting God
(Preview)
Hi all, this is my first time on this. Just logged in. We are in the process of moving. Of course, my A can't help much. Some days he tries Some days it's been bad. So much clutter and mess. I feel over whelmed. I'm trying to apply the tool Letting go and letting god .... Some things are hard t...
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chauri
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4
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464
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Stepping forward....
(Preview)
Last Friday I attended my first face to face Al-Anon meeting and today I am going to my first Codependency meeting. After just "sitting still" for so long, I feel that I am finally taking some positive steps forward and there is a peace in my spirit that I haven't felt in quite awhile. I kn...
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Wilted
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5
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444
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Question...
(Preview)
I am only on step 3...made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. Sometimes, I feel I still have to remember step 1, I am powerless over alcohol... Some of the al anon support I have received, tell me that it is ok for me to set boundaries. So, with the Super Bowl coming up, my AH told m...
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DeeDee
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3
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406
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can you tell me how???
(Preview)
can you tell me how to get into the step work board??? thanks jewely
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jewely
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2
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347
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Something New to be Powerless over....
(Preview)
(((((Everyone)))) So over the past year I have struggled to understand and surrender to the fact that my wifes drinking is beyond my control. Just when I get a handle on that... she has appearantly started going to the outpatient treatment program here in town. I say appearantly because I don'...
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rtexas
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9
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508
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Bad, Bad, Bill
(Preview)
He'll be here late this evening. We have a quiet lunch planned for tomorrow. Very close by so that I don't have to exert too much effort. What a hell of a time to have a heart episode!!!! LOL!! Diva
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Diva
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4
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394
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I have hope
(Preview)
I have been thinking that I am probably just holding on to my A because he's a good fallback which isn't fair to me or him. I have hope for the future of meeting someone someday who is totally into me and treats me like a precious gem not a doormat. I'm so sick of men not doing what they say they...
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carolinagirl
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3
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558
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Sponsor conflict
(Preview)
My husband is one of my many qualifiers, he has now been sober for two years, 1 month and two, days. I am having difficulty feeling safe and grounded. My husband and I have had several very personal conversations regarding my family, his sponsor had brought them up to me in a way that he thought was humoro...
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Riley
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10
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674
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So tomorrows GroundHog day....
(Preview)
(((((Everyone)))))) In one of my F2F meetings someone had a very interesting share. Do you remember the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray? He was a news anchor person who was being a real butthead and relived the same day over and over and over again until he got it right. How often does that happen...
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rtexas
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8
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570
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another sign of crack use
(Preview)
my ex kindly shared with me at some point in our life together that crack addicts break off the antena on cars to clean their pipes. i think he was proud that he never did that to our car. lol! also, steel wool. used as a screen. and the singed eyelases or eyebrows. i so wish i didn't know these things.
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serendipity
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7
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501
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I think I'm starting to get it!
(Preview)
Hi, I'm a newbie. I actually posted an intro back in November or so. I went and picked up a few books that some of you recommended: Getting them Sober, Marriage on the Rocks, and Codependent No More. I haven't posted since then b/c I've spent most of my meager spare time reading - I litera...
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sharky
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8
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451
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PRAYERS FOR LIAM'S FAMILY
(Preview)
((((((((((((((((roomies)))))))))))))))))) I posted a few months ago, asking for prayers for Liam. Liam is 18 years old and was suffering fom cancer for the last four years. Sadly Liam passed away this morning. He was a lovely, genourous, well mannered boy. He had a big future ahead of him. This some...
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ally
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15
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784
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Getting a little better
(Preview)
I don't want to jump to conclusions, but things are looking up. After spending a week with my now unemployed A (AND NO CAR!!) I hit the streets and started filling out job applications; I have been out of work for a while and all my references are out of state. The economy here is pretty slow so I was app...
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RainyJamie
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1
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369
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new here..need some direction
(Preview)
my husband (the a) and I have been married close to ten years and we have two small children. He has been an a for as long as I've known him. I finally have had enough of watching him slowly destroy himself and his family. My children are finally old enough to undersand his behavior and now I am the one fe...
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mandy
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7
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494
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Words of Wisdom Maya Angelou
(Preview)
In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday Maya Angelou said this: "I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow." "I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/s...
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kerry5
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9
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746
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thanks
(Preview)
Thank you all for your kindness...your words have helped me remember the calm and happy part of my soul....your words and a good nights sleep, baking muffins, and watching the beautiful sunrise. i know i'll make it....just wish i could be making it a little better....oh i am so greedy :) lol!
love yo...
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Fifi
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1
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266
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Riding My Bike1
(Preview)
Riding my Bike! When my life had become unmanageable and my husband had started to bring all and Sundry home for me to sleep with, I got mad and made a plan, I would learn to ride a motorbike and ride off into the sunset with the first man that would have me, in my mind that was a good idea because I thought hel...
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Katy
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5
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559
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Intervention for my AH??
(Preview)
So today is day 6 that my AH has been missing on this latest binge. His mom is worried to death about him. Me, well, I just don't give a damn. Is that wrong? I mean I do but I don't, ya know? I watch his credit card transactions and see that he is still at it but other than that, nothing. As the d...
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QOD
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11
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529
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If only his problems would disappear with him!
(Preview)
I was just thinking........Ok, so I don't care any more that my AH is gone. Life seems more peaceful at home without him. The kids seem more at ease. Not that he is violent or aggressive at home....b/c he is not. Usually he is just sleeping, or watching tv. Once in a while he gets pissed b/c he fee...
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QOD
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8
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477
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Diva! Do you have knotts in your stomach?
(Preview)
.......is it Bad, Bad Bill time? Ziggy
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ZiggyDoodles
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8
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662
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I think I ruined recovery for him
(Preview)
Wow I had no idea how long this would get. If you wnt the cliff notes version, I highlighted in bold. This is something that has weighed on my mind from the beginning. He was clean for 10+ years when we met. Ampetamines were more of an issue for him. He left a long term relationship to be with me. He was with he...
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RainyJamie
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11
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679
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Understanding step one
(Preview)
This is a total God story that happened to me the other day that most al-anons will relate to, so I hope you can get something from it. I was driving my car one day, I had my two children in the back strapped into their carseats. I turned onto a side street and as I drove up the street a truck to my left caught m...
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Moon
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6
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931
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Detachment for us...
(Preview)
((friends)) In last night's meeting someone said Detachment for us is like not drinking is for the A. Wow really got me thinking. A has not been drinking this time since Thanksgiving and I have been trying to detach. This has been going on for both of us for sometime with many relapses. I notice...
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lebe27
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3
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401
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idle hands are the devil's tools
(Preview)
my grandmother used to tell me.......,' ''idle hands are the devils tools''. i am thinking today, ''uh huh she is right.'' i won't make it to face to face meeting tonight. after i finish typing this i will probably go lay down. i have spent the past few days...
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jewely
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2
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488
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I thought I had detached, but I was still enabling
(Preview)
I thought I had mastered detachment because I was doing so well emotionally. Well I guess I had detached emotionally, but I was still taking care of (controlling) everything. I took care of all the bills and the cleaning and shopping and care of our child. I was letting him doing his thing and not gettin...
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babysteps
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2
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732
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Newbie Alert***
(Preview)
Hi all...in a nutshell, my H and I have been married x 17 years, we have 3 wonderful sons ages 9,12 & 17...he dropped bomb last March saying that he could no longer handle the pressures of marriage, kids, home etc...found out 2 mos later he moved into a trailor with a female bartender that works at the...
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kellygirl
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11
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685
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