Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

QOD · QOD

My AH has been working on getting this new job for over 2 months now. Supposedly it required tons of background work and paperwork that was taking some time. He had gotten down to the last 2 things.....the drug test and physical. He had the drug test on Friday morning. Thursday night, he took a home t...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Ah has left me no choice. I used to recieve foodstamps when he was a full blown alcoholic because he hoarded money so I had to go after him for child support, well.......he's doing it again. He leaves me "just enough" to pay the bills and thinks he deserves whatever he wants.....now mind...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

Please keep us in your prayers. especially my father and my children. She would have been 68 on Friday. It's been a long journey.

kellygirl · kellygirl

I just returned to my office after attending my first Al-Anon meeting...OMG, how great it was. It just "clicked" within me...while I have a LONG way to go, I really feel like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. What wonderful people they were, and they validated my own story and help...

kellygirl · kellygirl

This is going to seem like such a silly question, but how can I tell for sure that my H is an alcoholic?...He left me and our 3 kids last March and is living with another woman...am I just using alcohol as an excuse for him leaving us? Yea, I'm a newbie

-- Edited by kellygirl at 16:52, 2007-01-30 -...

TexasAngel · TexasAngel

Hello, I am new to this forum and to Al-Anon. I have started a program called "Celebrate Recovery" at a local church...has any one here heard of this program? If so...what are your thoughts? Thanks TA

fozzie · fozzie

My A is my husband - been married almost 23 years. About four - five years ago I started to realize he had real problems with alcohol. I've done everything I can think of - yelled, cried, badgered, reasoned, been compassionate... You know what I mean - we've all been there. Sometimes I think i...

Akasha · Akasha

It's been a while since I have posted any sort of update on our situation here. Not sure anyone really remembers us...but good news is always a good thing to share, yes? My AH (addiction not restricted to just alcohol) has been sober now almost 7 months. He is working his program and is in constant...

Diva · Diva

Edit Post | Quote | Reply Yesterday morning I nearly died! No joke here. I had stopped in to have a word with my internist. Taking a chance that she may have time to see me, and she did. We were talking about stress and how it can react, and I began telling her about the A, and how his behavior has affected my li...

Serenity · Serenity

-- Edited by John at 08:06, 2007-02-05

Diva · Diva

to have made so many of you smile reading through the "Bad, Bad, Bill" series of posts. Renewing a cherished love relationship from so long ago has been a ray of sunshine for me too. I'll keep you all posted. So far, it's exciting as can be!!! Any of you remember the song, "B...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

Major Ziggy to Alanon Base.......lol Today was rather eventful. My son as been sick all weekend making no improvement. This morning, his fever shot up even higher and had no clue where he was at. The baby was to be home soon from a weekend at her A dad's house. I called former AH and gave him a run d...

CJ · CJ

Hi family. It's been quite a while since I started a topic, and recent events have put my skills to the test. A hearing for the criminal trial (DV) was held a few days ago. The state (not I) pressed charges and Awife and lawyer entered into a diversion agreement - it won't proceed to trial, as lon...

davidssibling · davidssibling

It's me, Eve, and I just want to say, wow, the chat room is such a great place. Three days ago I found it, and there was a converstaion or many conversations happening. Thought maybe I was in wrong room. I asked if it was really a room for al-anon, and the people stopped the chit chat, and asked how I was,...

QOD · QOD

I feel there may be some clarification needed regarding my last post. Obsession? There is no obsession when it comes to tracking my AH's credit card transactions. Only concern. 1st - I am not tracking him 24/7 or even at home. I do not have a computer at home. So there is NO - ZERO - neglect towar...

fozzie · fozzie

I think I'm ready to give my A husband a choice. I know choice is just a fancy word for ultimatum, and ultimatums generally don't work (see all the wonderful replies to my previous post), but this is for myself and the kids. We had a big family weekend this weekend at my parents' house. The...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex ah and i spend alot of time together with the kids. it is for the most part tolerable and fun. buti'll start relating a story that i've heard on the news and he inturupts me with something more important. so, i see, he is just being rude. it is part of his mania taking hold again. all the signs a...

kellygirl · kellygirl

Sometimes I am actually jelous of my AH...a small part of me envy's his seemingly carefree existance with the bartender skank in the smoke filled trailor. No bills, no nagging wife, no children throwing up at 3 o'clock in the morning, no toilets to plunge or dog poo to pick up. just a carefree e...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I did some research yesterday about the arrest and am just feeling resigned to the idea that this is just the way it's gonna be and it's time for me to move on. I thought I was moving on before but still had that string of hope that we might get back together someday, that he would get better. I am a...

maresie2 · maresie2

As some of you may remember when I first came into this room more than a year ago I was absolutely lost in resentment and chaos with the A. I have definitely had my moments over the past year. I've been totally desolate at times, I have also been petrified at what the A might do next. I never did see the...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi everyone))) Well as I heard a few times when first coming to this program, you will need this work probably more when your A gets sober. It is becoming more and more true. I was just so glad to have him "back" in this world that I was pretty much just staying put, sticking with him like gl...

Marianne · Marianne

I would like to tell you why I am on this forum. I left my AexH who was a violent drunk when my son Sam (that's him on the left) was three, his sister two and his brother, a baby. A couple of years after leaving him I met a guy ( let's call him AP) I really fell for him, he was kind ,gentle, fun and loved my...

Fifi · Fifi

wish i had the energy to share events/feelings/responses/questions of the past few days in my life with you all and get some specific replies. but i am exhausted and definitely numb and foggy feeling and just wanted to ask you to keep me in your hearts and prayers. i am emotionally so exhausted....try...

maresie2 · maresie2

Dealing with the A, working nights (I currently work shifts) and more have left me incredibly isolated. I think I have to say my codependence also leaves me isolated. I over react, over identify, people please, martyr myself in relationships. I recently read a biography of a child growing up in an a...

kerry5 · kerry5

Business Meeting Sunday Ferbruary 4th at 9pm est Follwing the alanon meeting. Agenda Meeting Schedule. New Comer Meeting Financial Report. New Business Will hear all new business from members. If you have any new business you can send me a private email here or bring it up at the meeting. Thanks...

ally · ally

((((((((((((GUYS))))))))))) My emotions have been like a rollercoaster since Christmas. I am going through so much confusion and pain. One day I'm happy, next day I land right back down there on my butt. I was happy yesterday. And today the bottom has fallen out of my world. One of my relationshi...

evey · evey

Hello all, It has been awhile, been visiting and reading but not posting. My Ah will die of alcoholism. There it's said. I have done everything I can. So has his family. He had a withdrawel seizure at work and was taken to the hospital. Low blood count(30,000) it should be 100,000 min, fatty liver, e...

Wilted · Wilted

Yesterday my AH came home from work with not only the regular six pack he has been drinking every day, but an additional 3 six packs that a customer had stopped off at my husband's job and given him. When he shared that information with me, the first thought that popped in my head was: "Here goes...

jaja · jaja

Last Wed. my son and his new girlfriend came to town to spend a week here with me which was exciting because I have not seen him in 5 months (first time he's ever been away) and it was the first time I'd be meeting her. And that Saturday my oldest daughter and her 6 yr. old daughter came to to...

bev · bev

sorry for adding the post again,i didnt see that it came on cause im not on my computer,sorry

gr8tful · gr8tful

hi all i am new to this format and am looking to get some experience strength and hope from al-anon.i have 9.5 years clean from chemicals( no drugs etoh) BUT my husband is an active and really sick drunk. how is that for twisted?I didnt get enuf pain torturing myself I had to stay w a active drinker.i was...

Leetle · Leetle

I have come to realize that I work with dishonest people. People I don't trust. This realization is really bothersome. It is hurting me. It is not a safe place for my spirit. I feel as if I am the only one working and even sacrificing to get the job done. Like they know if I am there the job will g...

maresie2 · maresie2

One other issue that really came up for me when I was reading "The Glass Castle" was the constant chaos. That is how I lived as a child. That is also pretty much how I have lived as an adult. When I meet someone who also lives in constant chaos there is no red flags. Where I work is constant chaos....

kellygirl · kellygirl

I have not spoken to my AH since December 26 because of a heated falling out and I made a conscience decision to completely detatch from him and my life has been so much better since then, not perfect but so much more peaceful. After going to my first Al-Anon meeting and reading posts here I am wondering if...

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))) Well I thought I would give you an update on my six week check post surgery. I told the Doc that I have been having some pain again and it’s like the original pain. He told me that it’s either ANOTHER disc or permanent damage. I have to go for another MRI sometime in Mar...

chauri · chauri

I'm soooo angry right now. I'm mot usually the one who screams and shouts. I bottle up things inside and be the doormat person. but today, he put the last straw on this camel. I yelled back at him. told his how hurtful he was, and that he isn't the only one hurt in this relationship. then I walk...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, Well my hubby called me from the pokey on Tuesday. He had met with his lawyer for one of his old charges (DUI, not following through with treatment). Before that point he met with this lawyer he was going to ask for whatever time the judge wanted to close the case and was also going to request that he...

texsmama · texsmama

I think it happened. I truly can't tell you if this was it or not. It seemed like it. I almost left him on Sunday after a war of the worlds (or words!) again. I was completely done with the emotional abuse. Then came the drink after being sober for a couple of weeks. It was his first hard try, I almost kne...

4LLCandMe · 4LLCandMe

Hi all, i'm new here, but i've been attending al-anon meetings for almost 11 months now. some background info b4 i continue...i've been in a relationship with an addict for over 8 years now, our 3rd wedding anniversary will be in the fall. we now have 2 girls, 10 yrs (from a previous re...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I don't know what is wrong with me, I know what things set him off and I know that I have to just back off. Is that right? I am still trying to live with this guy and it is so hard. I came home after being gone all day and he was sitting on the computer. I told him I had to use it and he let me, but it was moving so sl...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Just when everything seemed to be mellowing out, he had a place to stay, a job and was paying support and seeing the kids...all hell breaks loose again. Maybe that is just my dramatic rendition of the story. Anyway, last week I was on the fence going back and forth about giving him another chance, etc a...

maresie2 · maresie2

For most of my life I have believed that I was never part of the problem at work. I have really bought into that I had an awful supervisors (and I had some doozys) and terrible co workers and really bad environments. I started a new job recently (albeit a temporary job) I can never quite muster up to gettin...

mama_nz · mama_nz

I'm struggling lately with whether I should have stayed living with my ex(A) or moved back in with him -would that have solved things. Because even though we have been apart a year now almost to the day, we are still arguing over drinking, he is still drinking. It's like the same stuff as when...

QOD · QOD

Ok - so as of this morning....my AH has been gone for one solid week. Off smoking his crack, probably feeling sorry for himself. Boo hoo. Yea right! I know he is alive for 2 reasons.....I can track his credit card cash advances to know he is still withdrawing money. AND he called his sister last night a...

kellygirl · kellygirl

Since I attended my first Al-Anon meeting this week, a whole host of feelings have emerged within me...a lot of good, but some bad. The most prevelant feeling I have been getting is "Is My H Really An Alcoholic?" I know that when he was living at home with us he was, but he has been gone since l...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone)))))) Not long after I got here, someone posted this for me. I don't really know where it comes from, but I saved it. I read these things I have saved over time when I am feeling a need and I decided with all the new members here lately that someone may want to read it. Hope you enjoy it...

jewely · jewely

i was just sitting here minding my own business when........, my husband walked in last night with our one year old grandaughter. i looked at him and i said, ''what's this?'' i was feeling exhausted but quite proud of myself because i had managed to straighten up the house and co...

mama_nz · mama_nz

My ex (A) emailed me to say he's sorry, that it hurts him like hell that I don't want to be with him anymore and that he had lots he still wanted to say and he hopes to hear from me. Well curiosity got the better of me and I ended up calling him tonight, and woah what a mistake that was. I was the one that...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well I'm still doing pretty good. Haven't talked to the A since I dropped him off Saturday night at his sponsor's house (where he currently resides). I have thought about calling but then thought why bother. Of course when I do call he'll say it's only because I want my child s...

mama_nz · mama_nz

So, after last weekend's incident with my ex (A) (drinking again) he's now emailed me to say sorry. I pulled the phone out of the wall the day after it happened -more to stop myself from calling him and giving him a piece of my mind, and so I wouldn't be tempted to talk if he called. I've...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Friends))) This week has been a challenging week. Still no work for my AH. I have been working short hours at work so that I can be available for the kids because I could not put them in daycare this week either. I did this so that my AH could work. He has now had to resort to day labor; which to say t...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Happy Friday MIP Friends))) My AH went to a first time individual session with our therapist last night. I did well with detaching emotionally and just giving over my hopes and fears to HP. I simply asked if the session went o.k. but did not ask him to get into details. Later on he told me on his ow...

afmom03 · afmom03

Hi everyone!!!

I'm just poppin' in to say "howdy ya'll"...it's been 4 weeks ago today that I left my AH...and to let ya's know I'm doing well. I don't have a job yet, but that will come in time. My last paycheck from the bus driving job was wayyyyyy more...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well AH came over last Friday and stayed till Sat. and I could barely stand that long. First about 10 mins after he got in the car he asked if we were going to get back together or not (I'm afraid if I say no the support will stop and if I say yes I'm setting myself up) so I say I don't know. He says...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Friends))) I had a thought this morning that I wanted to share with the group. Maybe someone else is experiencing this as well. Today's courage to Change was about doing what is best for my life, living my life the way I want it and giving myself what I need to be happy. Thinking about this sent...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have not been posting much because (a) I did not have the internet at home (the A allowed the service to be cut off. For me that used to be a sticking point. I would go "off" on the a when it was down. This time I did not and it was pretty hard to manage the resentments and the difficulty of using th...

debilyn · debilyn

mary I hope I was not too tough on you!!! please come back and post I am concerned!!!! I do not trust your A at all!!! love,debilyn

Riley · Riley

I of course left out the part of the conversation that disturbed me the most because it is literally stuck inside my head. he said that he wanted to drag me behind his truck. This is what I had found so disturbing, knowing our background. Those are pretty strong words.

mandy · mandy

cant seem to accomplish step 1! what the h#ll is wrong with me?? I keep brushing dirt under the carpet thinking the pain will go away. My a is out of control and trying to take his family down with him. I'm on my way and am so good at denial. By the way, any idea why I turned into a massive control freak?:fu...

bev · bev

hi all i finally did it i moved..after i left my AH sold everything in the house for crack,and beer thern to make things worse my monthly settlement check to the house instead of coming here in ny{i had the addy changed and everything and also in formed the bank about him trying to cash my check if it goes th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	He's gone AGAIN!! What am I supposed to do? (Preview) My AH has been working on getting this new job for over 2 months now. Supposedly it required tons of background work and paperwork that was taking some time. He had gotten down to the last 2 things.....the drug test and physical. He had the drug test on Friday morning. Thursday night, he took a home t...	QOD	15	619	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	I hate to do what I'm about to do.......... (Preview) Ah has left me no choice. I used to recieve foodstamps when he was a full blown alcoholic because he hoarded money so I had to go after him for child support, well.......he's doing it again. He leaves me "just enough" to pay the bills and thinks he deserves whatever he wants.....now mind...	Friendofyours	7	728	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	My mother passed this morning... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Please keep us in your prayers. especially my father and my children. She would have been 68 on Friday. It's been a long journey.	Lunamoth	46	1389	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	Attended My First Meeting This Morning! (Preview) I just returned to my office after attending my first Al-Anon meeting...OMG, how great it was. It just "clicked" within me...while I have a LONG way to go, I really feel like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. What wonderful people they were, and they validated my own story and help...	kellygirl	8	477	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	Is he or isn't He? (Preview) This is going to seem like such a silly question, but how can I tell for sure that my H is an alcoholic?...He left me and our 3 kids last March and is living with another woman...am I just using alcohol as an excuse for him leaving us? Yea, I'm a newbie -- Edited by kellygirl at 16:52, 2007-01-30 -...	kellygirl	6	573	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	Has anyone heard of "Celebrate Recovery"? (Preview) Hello, I am new to this forum and to Al-Anon. I have started a program called "Celebrate Recovery" at a local church...has any one here heard of this program? If so...what are your thoughts? Thanks TA	TexasAngel	9	4106	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	Is staying enabling??? (Preview) My A is my husband - been married almost 23 years. About four - five years ago I started to realize he had real problems with alcohol. I've done everything I can think of - yelled, cried, badgered, reasoned, been compassionate... You know what I mean - we've all been there. Sometimes I think i...	fozzie	11	644	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	AH's Recovery & Probation (Preview) It's been a while since I have posted any sort of update on our situation here. Not sure anyone really remembers us...but good news is always a good thing to share, yes? My AH (addiction not restricted to just alcohol) has been sober now almost 7 months. He is working his program and is in constant...	Akasha	3	837	Feb 5, 2007 by abbyal
	This one deserves a post of its own. Read this carefully and remember it could be YOU!!! (Preview) Edit Post \| Quote \| Reply Yesterday morning I nearly died! No joke here. I had stopped in to have a word with my internist. Taking a chance that she may have time to see me, and she did. We were talking about stress and how it can react, and I began telling her about the A, and how his behavior has affected my li...	Diva	23	761	Feb 5, 2007 by carolena
	tea2, please answer my question (Preview) -- Edited by John at 08:06, 2007-02-05	Serenity	3	873	Feb 5, 2007 by Serenity
	It is such a joy to me.... (Preview) to have made so many of you smile reading through the "Bad, Bad, Bill" series of posts. Renewing a cherished love relationship from so long ago has been a ray of sunshine for me too. I'll keep you all posted. So far, it's exciting as can be!!! Any of you remember the song, "B...	Diva	11	543	Feb 5, 2007 by lilms
	Touching Alanon Base (Preview) Major Ziggy to Alanon Base.......lol Today was rather eventful. My son as been sick all weekend making no improvement. This morning, his fever shot up even higher and had no clue where he was at. The baby was to be home soon from a weekend at her A dad's house. I called former AH and gave him a run d...	ZiggyDoodles	7	554	Feb 5, 2007 by Rita G
	Bad Bad Behaviour (Preview) Hi family. It's been quite a while since I started a topic, and recent events have put my skills to the test. A hearing for the criminal trial (DV) was held a few days ago. The state (not I) pressed charges and Awife and lawyer entered into a diversion agreement - it won't proceed to trial, as lon...	CJ	13	603	Feb 5, 2007 by Rita G
	New (Preview) It's me, Eve, and I just want to say, wow, the chat room is such a great place. Three days ago I found it, and there was a converstaion or many conversations happening. Thought maybe I was in wrong room. I asked if it was really a room for al-anon, and the people stopped the chit chat, and asked how I was,...	davidssibling	7	516	Feb 5, 2007 by AndiLynn
	Clarification of my previous post -"AH Still Gone but not Missing" (Preview) I feel there may be some clarification needed regarding my last post. Obsession? There is no obsession when it comes to tracking my AH's credit card transactions. Only concern. 1st - I am not tracking him 24/7 or even at home. I do not have a computer at home. So there is NO - ZERO - neglect towar...	QOD	5	674	Feb 5, 2007 by QOD
	It might be time... (Preview) I think I'm ready to give my A husband a choice. I know choice is just a fancy word for ultimatum, and ultimatums generally don't work (see all the wonderful replies to my previous post), but this is for myself and the kids. We had a big family weekend this weekend at my parents' house. The...	fozzie	4	537	Feb 5, 2007 by maresie2
	daily petty irratations (Preview) my ex ah and i spend alot of time together with the kids. it is for the most part tolerable and fun. buti'll start relating a story that i've heard on the news and he inturupts me with something more important. so, i see, he is just being rude. it is part of his mania taking hold again. all the signs a...	serendipity	4	587	Feb 4, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Jelous of AH at times.....too twisted? (Preview) Sometimes I am actually jelous of my AH...a small part of me envy's his seemingly carefree existance with the bartender skank in the smoke filled trailor. No bills, no nagging wife, no children throwing up at 3 o'clock in the morning, no toilets to plunge or dog poo to pick up. just a carefree e...	kellygirl	11	579	Feb 4, 2007 by AndiLynn
	The last straw (Preview) I did some research yesterday about the arrest and am just feeling resigned to the idea that this is just the way it's gonna be and it's time for me to move on. I thought I was moving on before but still had that string of hope that we might get back together someday, that he would get better. I am a...	carolinagirl	3	386	Feb 4, 2007 by doxie
	Moving on from being totally mired in resentment (Preview) As some of you may remember when I first came into this room more than a year ago I was absolutely lost in resentment and chaos with the A. I have definitely had my moments over the past year. I've been totally desolate at times, I have also been petrified at what the A might do next. I never did see the...	maresie2	2	500	Feb 4, 2007 by Karilynn
	Sober but troubles... (Preview) (((Hi everyone))) Well as I heard a few times when first coming to this program, you will need this work probably more when your A gets sober. It is becoming more and more true. I was just so glad to have him "back" in this world that I was pretty much just staying put, sticking with him like gl...	hersh	8	531	Feb 4, 2007 by Idealsummerluv
	Alcohol II The Movie ( long post) (Preview) I would like to tell you why I am on this forum. I left my AexH who was a violent drunk when my son Sam (that's him on the left) was three, his sister two and his brother, a baby. A couple of years after leaving him I met a guy ( let's call him AP) I really fell for him, he was kind ,gentle, fun and loved my...	Marianne	7	572	Feb 4, 2007 by Susan K
	asking for prayers (Preview) wish i had the energy to share events/feelings/responses/questions of the past few days in my life with you all and get some specific replies. but i am exhausted and definitely numb and foggy feeling and just wanted to ask you to keep me in your hearts and prayers. i am emotionally so exhausted....try...	Fifi	11	493	Feb 4, 2007 by Idealsummerluv
	Being isolated (Preview) Dealing with the A, working nights (I currently work shifts) and more have left me incredibly isolated. I think I have to say my codependence also leaves me isolated. I over react, over identify, people please, martyr myself in relationships. I recently read a biography of a child growing up in an a...	maresie2	5	414	Feb 4, 2007 by Leetle
	Business Meeting (Preview) Business Meeting Sunday Ferbruary 4th at 9pm est Follwing the alanon meeting. Agenda Meeting Schedule. New Comer Meeting Financial Report. New Business Will hear all new business from members. If you have any new business you can send me a private email here or bring it up at the meeting. Thanks...	kerry5	2	381	Feb 3, 2007 by kerry5
	WHY DO RELATIONSHIPS CAUSE SO MUCH PAIN (Preview) ((((((((((((GUYS))))))))))) My emotions have been like a rollercoaster since Christmas. I am going through so much confusion and pain. One day I'm happy, next day I land right back down there on my butt. I was happy yesterday. And today the bottom has fallen out of my world. One of my relationshi...	ally	9	689	Feb 3, 2007 by marty
	acceptance of reality (Preview) Hello all, It has been awhile, been visiting and reading but not posting. My Ah will die of alcoholism. There it's said. I have done everything I can. So has his family. He had a withdrawel seizure at work and was taken to the hospital. Low blood count(30,000) it should be 100,000 min, fatty liver, e...	evey	2	368	Feb 3, 2007 by evey
	The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak... (Preview) Yesterday my AH came home from work with not only the regular six pack he has been drinking every day, but an additional 3 six packs that a customer had stopped off at my husband's job and given him. When he shared that information with me, the first thought that popped in my head was: "Here goes...	Wilted	5	451	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	It's been quite a week! (Preview) Last Wed. my son and his new girlfriend came to town to spend a week here with me which was exciting because I have not seen him in 5 months (first time he's ever been away) and it was the first time I'd be meeting her. And that Saturday my oldest daughter and her 6 yr. old daughter came to to...	jaja	3	366	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	sorry for the post (Preview) sorry for adding the post again,i didnt see that it came on cause im not on my computer,sorry	bev	1	462	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	anyone there who is an a and an al-anon? (Preview) hi all i am new to this format and am looking to get some experience strength and hope from al-anon.i have 9.5 years clean from chemicals( no drugs etoh) BUT my husband is an active and really sick drunk. how is that for twisted?I didnt get enuf pain torturing myself I had to stay w a active drinker.i was...	gr8tful	4	438	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	Hard Day...Hard Share (Preview) I have come to realize that I work with dishonest people. People I don't trust. This realization is really bothersome. It is hurting me. It is not a safe place for my spirit. I feel as if I am the only one working and even sacrificing to get the job done. Like they know if I am there the job will g...	Leetle	4	509	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	Chaos theory (Preview) One other issue that really came up for me when I was reading "The Glass Castle" was the constant chaos. That is how I lived as a child. That is also pretty much how I have lived as an adult. When I meet someone who also lives in constant chaos there is no red flags. Where I work is constant chaos....	maresie2	1	659	Feb 3, 2007 by CJ
	Should I Offer An Olive Branch To My AH? (Preview) I have not spoken to my AH since December 26 because of a heated falling out and I made a conscience decision to completely detatch from him and my life has been so much better since then, not perfect but so much more peaceful. After going to my first Al-Anon meeting and reading posts here I am wondering if...	kellygirl	8	492	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	6 week check up uuggghhh (Preview) ((((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))) Well I thought I would give you an update on my six week check post surgery. I told the Doc that I have been having some pain again and it’s like the original pain. He told me that it’s either ANOTHER disc or permanent damage. I have to go for another MRI sometime in Mar...	shadow1	10	509	Feb 3, 2007 by bubbles1990
	Angerrrrrr!!!!! (Preview) I'm soooo angry right now. I'm mot usually the one who screams and shouts. I bottle up things inside and be the doormat person. but today, he put the last straw on this camel. I yelled back at him. told his how hurtful he was, and that he isn't the only one hurt in this relationship. then I walk...	chauri	2	352	Feb 3, 2007 by 4LLCandMe
	Ugh, Hubby's lawyer may have helped him out of going to treatment (Preview) Hi all, Well my hubby called me from the pokey on Tuesday. He had met with his lawyer for one of his old charges (DUI, not following through with treatment). Before that point he met with this lawyer he was going to ask for whatever time the judge wanted to close the case and was also going to request that he...	Dolphin123	11	550	Feb 3, 2007 by Grace2
	Hitting their bottom (Preview) I think it happened. I truly can't tell you if this was it or not. It seemed like it. I almost left him on Sunday after a war of the worlds (or words!) again. I was completely done with the emotional abuse. Then came the drink after being sober for a couple of weeks. It was his first hard try, I almost kne...	texsmama	4	483	Feb 3, 2007 by 4LLCandMe
	a fresh start? (Preview) Hi all, i'm new here, but i've been attending al-anon meetings for almost 11 months now. some background info b4 i continue...i've been in a relationship with an addict for over 8 years now, our 3rd wedding anniversary will be in the fall. we now have 2 girls, 10 yrs (from a previous re...	4LLCandMe	6	504	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	I started it (Preview) I don't know what is wrong with me, I know what things set him off and I know that I have to just back off. Is that right? I am still trying to live with this guy and it is so hard. I came home after being gone all day and he was sitting on the computer. I told him I had to use it and he let me, but it was moving so sl...	RainyJamie	7	395	Feb 3, 2007 by Maria123
	He's in jail...again (Preview) Just when everything seemed to be mellowing out, he had a place to stay, a job and was paying support and seeing the kids...all hell breaks loose again. Maybe that is just my dramatic rendition of the story. Anyway, last week I was on the fence going back and forth about giving him another chance, etc a...	carolinagirl	3	582	Feb 3, 2007 by Maria123
	Seeing myself in others (at work) (Preview) For most of my life I have believed that I was never part of the problem at work. I have really bought into that I had an awful supervisors (and I had some doozys) and terrible co workers and really bad environments. I started a new job recently (albeit a temporary job) I can never quite muster up to gettin...	maresie2	1	382	Feb 3, 2007 by gardengal
	Should I have stayed (Preview) I'm struggling lately with whether I should have stayed living with my ex(A) or moved back in with him -would that have solved things. Because even though we have been apart a year now almost to the day, we are still arguing over drinking, he is still drinking. It's like the same stuff as when...	mama_nz	4	463	Feb 3, 2007 by lin0606
	Update - AH still gone but not exactly missing! (Preview) Ok - so as of this morning....my AH has been gone for one solid week. Off smoking his crack, probably feeling sorry for himself. Boo hoo. Yea right! I know he is alive for 2 reasons.....I can track his credit card cash advances to know he is still withdrawing money. AND he called his sister last night a...	QOD	7	414	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Second Guessing Myself...Please Help (Preview) Since I attended my first Al-Anon meeting this week, a whole host of feelings have emerged within me...a lot of good, but some bad. The most prevelant feeling I have been getting is "Is My H Really An Alcoholic?" I know that when he was living at home with us he was, but he has been gone since l...	kellygirl	5	562	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	The Awakening.... (Preview) ((((((Everyone)))))) Not long after I got here, someone posted this for me. I don't really know where it comes from, but I saved it. I read these things I have saved over time when I am feeling a need and I decided with all the new members here lately that someone may want to read it. Hope you enjoy it...	rtexas	6	437	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	i was just sitting here minding my own my business when.........., (Preview) i was just sitting here minding my own business when........, my husband walked in last night with our one year old grandaughter. i looked at him and i said, ''what's this?'' i was feeling exhausted but quite proud of myself because i had managed to straighten up the house and co...	jewely	6	474	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	I must be a sucker for punishment (Preview) My ex (A) emailed me to say he's sorry, that it hurts him like hell that I don't want to be with him anymore and that he had lots he still wanted to say and he hopes to hear from me. Well curiosity got the better of me and I ended up calling him tonight, and woah what a mistake that was. I was the one that...	mama_nz	6	547	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Still doing pretty good (Preview) Well I'm still doing pretty good. Haven't talked to the A since I dropped him off Saturday night at his sponsor's house (where he currently resides). I have thought about calling but then thought why bother. Of course when I do call he'll say it's only because I want my child s...	carolinagirl	3	395	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Sorry is not a 4-letter word (Preview) So, after last weekend's incident with my ex (A) (drinking again) he's now emailed me to say sorry. I pulled the phone out of the wall the day after it happened -more to stop myself from calling him and giving him a piece of my mind, and so I wouldn't be tempted to talk if he called. I've...	mama_nz	5	758	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	The guilt passes onto to everyone (Preview) (((MIP Friends))) This week has been a challenging week. Still no work for my AH. I have been working short hours at work so that I can be available for the kids because I could not put them in daycare this week either. I did this so that my AH could work. He has now had to resort to day labor; which to say t...	twinmom2	6	566	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	My AH took a big step last night (Preview) (((Happy Friday MIP Friends))) My AH went to a first time individual session with our therapist last night. I did well with detaching emotionally and just giving over my hopes and fears to HP. I simply asked if the session went o.k. but did not ask him to get into details. Later on he told me on his ow...	twinmom2	4	472	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Four Weeks Ago Today...(Smiles) (Preview) Hi everyone!!! I'm just poppin' in to say "howdy ya'll"...it's been 4 weeks ago today that I left my AH...and to let ya's know I'm doing well. I don't have a job yet, but that will come in time. My last paycheck from the bus driving job was wayyyyyy more...	afmom03	4	473	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	He's going to start "seeing other people" (Preview) Well AH came over last Friday and stayed till Sat. and I could barely stand that long. First about 10 mins after he got in the car he asked if we were going to get back together or not (I'm afraid if I say no the support will stop and if I say yes I'm setting myself up) so I say I don't know. He says...	carolinagirl	7	784	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Holding myself back (Preview) (((Friends))) I had a thought this morning that I wanted to share with the group. Maybe someone else is experiencing this as well. Today's courage to Change was about doing what is best for my life, living my life the way I want it and giving myself what I need to be happy. Thinking about this sent...	twinmom2	4	508	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Update (Preview) I have not been posting much because (a) I did not have the internet at home (the A allowed the service to be cut off. For me that used to be a sticking point. I would go "off" on the a when it was down. This time I did not and it was pretty hard to manage the resentments and the difficulty of using th...	maresie2	0	291	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	marisie (Preview) mary I hope I was not too tough on you!!! please come back and post I am concerned!!!! I do not trust your A at all!!! love,debilyn	debilyn	1	313	Feb 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Sponsor conflict (Preview) I of course left out the part of the conversation that disturbed me the most because it is literally stuck inside my head. he said that he wanted to drag me behind his truck. This is what I had found so disturbing, knowing our background. Those are pretty strong words.	Riley	3	396	Feb 3, 2007 by Serenity
	step 1 (Preview) cant seem to accomplish step 1! what the h#ll is wrong with me?? I keep brushing dirt under the carpet thinking the pain will go away. My a is out of control and trying to take his family down with him. I'm on my way and am so good at denial. By the way, any idea why I turned into a massive control freak?:fu...	mandy	6	501	Feb 2, 2007 by sharky
	i moved (Preview) hi all i finally did it i moved..after i left my AH sold everything in the house for crack,and beer thern to make things worse my monthly settlement check to the house instead of coming here in ny{i had the addy changed and everything and also in formed the bank about him trying to cash my check if it goes th...	bev	2	383	Feb 2, 2007 by bev
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.