Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, I was awakened by a call this morning from my A husband's new $20 an hr. job asking if I had seen him, he hasn't been to work in two days and this is their emergency contact... I had to tell them sorry don't know... I called his sponsor and he had kicked him out on Friday I guess for being...

EarthAngel · EarthAngel

I recently found out Iam pregnant. Ive been married for one year now and the marriage has been both wonderful and challenging. My husband is addicted to pot. Now, I am worried about bringing a baby into this situation. I am feeling sick to my stomach every time I smell the pot smoke now. I worry that my hus...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

It's funny because this round of sobriety I've actually lost count of the days. I hope that's a plus. I get loving phone calls everday, I get sweet text messages. Our every other weekend visits are going better then planned. The kids are seeing a new couple blossom before their little eyes. Having him l...

serendipity · serendipity

the psycologist from my 12 year old's schol called today. someone's mom called her and told her that my daughter has been "cutting" herself. i met a girl last year who was a "cutter" she had alot of other problems but cutting herself was her compulsion. i was blindsided by this in...

lilms · lilms

((((Friends))))) It is March 27th. I just found out a few minutes ago that yet another person I have known for years and whom I loved died on March 18th. He died of liver failure (not alcohol related). On top of being shocked and incredibly sad I am also perplexed and possibly a little angry. ...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

I am angry, scared, upset, worried, and just about out of my mind. My 15 year old daughter got 5 days suspension from school for drinking at school.... Oh my God! I never thought she would pull something like this. She is very dark, goth, and troubled, but never had anything like this happen. A friend tol...

LucyFurr · LucyFurr

im new at this whole "spilling my problems" thing, i spoke to a veteran al-anon member tonite on the phone, instead of a meeting, we both felt that this board would work better for now...baby steps. i grew up with an alcoholic mother, an EXTREME alcoholic. it took me the better part of 26 year...

stephie · stephie

I've never posted here or been to an alanon meeting, or even talked to anyone. It's a long story so I'll just hit the basics and ask my question. My husband has a drinking problem. I wouldn't care so much except he is a MEAN drunk. He quit for 6 mos on his own after...: A) he threatened to beat the crap out of me...

jaja · jaja

It's my birthday today and for some reason, every year on this day, I get a lump in my throat and get a little teary. Not because I'm a year older (omigod). I fact, I'm not even sure why but I do believe it has to do with co-dependency. On this particular day I just feel more unloved and lonel...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

(((((Everyone)))) We actually had a car for the Pinewood Derby, lol. One thing I didn't mention is that we were missing one of the nails that hold the tires on. They are so strict that we couldn't use just any nail, I thought well we'll make due some how. We had place the 4 tires and 3 nails...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

STEP 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to god as we understood him. I suppose alot of this problem is that I have been a reletively committed atheist for a while now. I mean I can be pretty open minded about theology, but I do not have what people call FAITH. I just don't. Maybe I have b...

albertarose · albertarose

A few days ago I posted that my AH and I have split up again due to his addictions and verbal abuse. It's been just over a week and I am doing well but I feel he is not. I went to an open AA meeting on Friday March 22 with some Al anon friends and he was there. I was pleased to see that he was there, as he has not b...

lilms · lilms

(((((((Friends))))))) I found this while sorting out my desk yesterday and thought I would share it with you all. It sums up for me perfectly what alanon is all about and what we can find in listening and learning from each other. A Hasidic story tells of a man who went for a walk in the forest and got lost...

QOD · QOD

My AH has been out of jail for one week. He said he will NOT go back. He was really angry the 1st part of the week but the anger was moving aside a bit more as the days went by. He text messages me constantly. He tells me all the normal promises and sorrys. Standard procedure. He went out and bought me and th...

Rita G · Rita G

Powerless - some days that word seems so hopeless. Like such a sad word. Powerless. I remember when I first started this journey of recovery, I was grateful for Step 1 - That I was powerless over alcohol/drugs and the people that it affected. That it wasn't my fault. I wasn't responsible...

Demilas · Demilas

To let go doesn't mean to stop caring; It means I can't do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, It is the realization that I can't control another. To let go is not to enable, But to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, Which means th...

TLC2 · TLC2

As I was praying for my son last night, I was thinking of all of you, and wishing I could contact you, so you could add your prayers to mine. I knew you certainly would if you knew I needed them! HP has answered so many of my prayers already! My son was in an accident at work and had a meat-eating chemical splas...

emma · emma

Does anyone know the reality/rules in al anon around whether in order to provide service at the district level or higher that a loss of anonimity is part of the deal? How does anonimity and acting in service as a group rep or district rep or higher in the state -- what's been your experience in how...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) I've been laying low lately but still reading and keeping up with everyone. Lately I have felt like I didn't have much insight to contribute, just felt so drained and depressed. I did take some good direction from my therapist and my AH and saw my PMD and got some medication...

Becky1 · Becky1

Hubby called my cell phone today (while I was sitting in a movie) and I didn't answer it. After the show was over, he had sent me a voice mail, and said "I just wondered if you were ok.

I saw your car still at the house when I was on my way to work this morning. ( I called off due to a migrain...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm not really sure why but I have been on some kind of self destruct rampage for the past couple of months. I have been going out every weekend drinking and dancing and just getting out of the house. Most of the time alone. I have been smoking when I drink (I quit over a year ago) and now it's cre...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))))))))) Spoke to the GSO, today. I have applied about opening up a Saturday night face to face meeting....And It looks positive....I have a night and a time. I have a possibile venue...So It looks good for me... This is giving me a focus....Just what I need... Pl...

Becky1 · Becky1

I went to an open AA meeting last night, as could not find any Alanon meetings on Sat. night. Had to drive 25 miles each way just to get to this open AA meeting! The man who gave the lead read a letter something likethis.....and passed out copies. I don't know where it came from, as he didn't say...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((((Everyone)))))) When I first heard this song I was reminded of all the wonderful people in this program that kept me going on days I was sure I was going to die. My pain was huge, I'll never forget it. I remember telling someone as I sat on the steps of my deck that I really thought I was going to d...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am in the process of moving still. I do not really know what the A is doing whether he will maI ke it through his own transition so I am trying to be able to take as much as I can. I cannot rely on the A for much he is so scattered. My heart is full of grief. At the same time I know I hit a wall where I could not try anym...

Miranda · Miranda

I've been writing alot lately, after the kids are asleep... Innocent Dreams There once was a girl, Who was hurt and confused, She fell into love, Was hurt and abused. For years she just smiled, Pulled on her coat, Kept her head up, She learned how to cope. One day she walked out, She stepped out that d...

irish54 · irish54

Dear Family, Thought I would let you know my daughter who is a Sr in High School this year came by today to show off her tatoo. lol Not sure what she expected from us but we looked at it and said it looked nice but didn't want one for ourselves. She said she was surprised..she expected us to go off. lol...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I posted last week. I so appreciate the responses. Hard as they are to hear sometimes. Someone had posted that we Alanoners stay in the blame game saying our unhappiness is all the A's fault. I could see that in my post when I reread what I had written. It is kinda like a chess game - when h...

Phil · Phil

(Hurt - Bitterness - Injustice - Abused Pain) We feel emotional pain when we do not get what we want, need, or expect. We might feel hurt, rejection, bitterness, abuse, injustice or simply emotional pain. In such cases, we have not received the behavior or outcomes we expected or believed we deserv...

CJ · CJ

(((family))) i haven't posted very often, lately, but wanted to let you all know that you are in my prayers. i will be deployed for a little while (couple weeks), and wanted to share some HOPE. i continue to attend face to face meetings (4 a week, usually), make program calls to new and old "fa...

derfsvic · derfsvic

It has only been 3 weeks since I was told about my brothers problems. My parents and my family and another brother - we all live in West Virginia. My brother with the problems lives in Utah. Being so far away he has lied and kept secrets for several years we are finding out now. It was only in the 4 - 6 weeks tha...

melamom815 · melamom815

Hello Everyone! Been a while since I have been here. I have been so busy lately. First off, my pregnancy is going very well. I am finally getting over the sickness part and feeling more and more energy everyday. Nearly to the half way mark! I am very excited about that. lol. Still don't know w...

arty · arty

The day that i decided to buy him out of our property was a day of strength. i knew i could do it! And i knew he was upset that it has come to this but i didnt want to keep a property under a joint name, as it was going to keep me connected to him for as long as that was OURS. We dont have kids, so i dont have to see him fo...

ditto · ditto

April 30, 2006 I told my AH that he had to leave our home. June 6, 2006 the divorce was finalized. It is almost a year since the last time I have seen him. It is almost a year since I have been divorced. I have tried for this entire time to be sorry that he is gone. I have tried to grieve the end of the marriag...

Becky1 · Becky1

OK, HP. I give up. I keep praying and asking you for a sign of what I should do. I must be deaf, blind, and mentally challenged........ Those of you who know me, know I have been in and around Alanon for a little over a year. I actually went to a few meetings 20+ years ago, when I was married to another A. Bu...

shadow1 · shadow1

Please check your message box.

serendipity · serendipity

i want to let y'all know i am feeling much better. better than i have in the past week and a half. saner. and that is thanks to you guys, the wise people in my f2f meetings and hp. who knows how long this peace within me will last so i want to post and say thank you. nothing has changed except me. i brought up...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hi everyone again. I am putting this post out to each and every one of you. Let me first say I am not trying to act like a beggar in the street for a crust of bread, but I do have a need and I wanted to see if anyone could and/or would be willing to help me. I have really been looking at the information of the Al-an...

Miranda · Miranda

I've been writing alot lately, after the kids are asleep... Innocent Dreams There once was a girl, Who was hurt and confused, She fell into love, Was hurt and abused. For years she just smiled, Pulled on her coat, Kept her head up, She learned how to cope. One day she walked out, She stepped out that d...

java · java

I saw this poem posted in a doctor's office the other day...I suppose it was meant to be funny...but I saw a deeper meaning. I'm Lost

I've lost myself. If I return when I get back, please ask me to wait. This got me to thinking about how many lost people there are out there ...

still searching · still searching

I just wanted to let everyone know that after talking with the courts they would not issue a restraining order. Didn't feel that it met the "requirements" here. I am so angry I don't know what to do, but, yet I am so confused. In my state it the restraining order refers to adults doing...

david62 · david62

Good morning, (((((Family))))) A friend emailed these to me this morning and that were such great things for me to think about as I travel through my life today I thought I would share them with all my best friends.

Lessons about the way we treat people. 1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lad...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

It's funny how one day can seem so awful that you think you'll never get through it but if you just hang on to your sanity for a little longer things get better. Yesterday I was depressed with no friends and feeling sorry for myself and today I can't figure out what to do this weekend because...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Ever since I entered this wonderful group I felt a peaceful closeness to all of you. When I was confused you helped me to see; What it is all about, and what is happening to me. I just want to thank you all for listening, caring, and reaching out. It just leaves me without a doubt..... That this group's...

lilms · lilms

(((((((Dear Friends))))))) My server for the past couple of weeks or so has been a real rat bastage. They seem to have worked out the kinks so for now I am back.

I sure have missed you all and when life allows the time will be able to catch up on posts, make it into meetings etc. YAAAAAAAAAAY!...

kopkreations · kopkreations

I would like to know does anyone try to have a heart to heart with their alchoic while trying to find themselves going through the steps. I have read a lot on it but confused on this issue. Does one still try?

serendipity · serendipity

again thank you for the love and support. Luna said grow up and that really made sense. i am trying. i don't know how, at least i wasn't shown how to be an adult, or have an adult relationship. i have tried so hard but when working with an A it might just be impossible. Yet again, i see it is me. i went...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Well, what an evening---straight into Hell. I should have known that by his nasty attitude earlier today that it would not be good for a visit today. We both fell asleep at our own dwellings, and I called him back. Same attitude. I was totally set on keeping my boundaries in my home. I dont think he likes...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

It's been a while since my A has made me cry. He succeeded tonight. I could have banged my head against a wall trying to make him wake up and see. Yes, I've been there and done that -- you'd think I'd have learned by now. My Son has to finish his pinewood derby car (scouts) by Sunday aft...

still searching · still searching

He walked into my daughters room (she is 8) and starts complaining about her shoes being in the way in her bedroom. She says they are on the floor. So this grown man then takes her papers from her dresser and her blanket and throws them on the floor and then tells her to pick it up. She tells him no. He then tel...

java · java

I can't breath. I have known this feeling before, it's anxiety over feeling controlled. I feel out of control. What's the first step? Admitted we were powerless. Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. I feel out of control and insane. I am w...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I have done step one and two, but get a little shy of step 3. I was wondering if I could just work it over in my head, or if I need a sponsor in order to say "Hey, I'm on step 3"? I don't really know how to find a sponsor right now. thanks Jamie

serendipity · serendipity

first of all, i want to thank you all for the love and support in your replies. i try to keep those thoughts in my head when my feelings come up. i'm having a difficult day today. the thought of my ex with another woman is driving me insane. i am so hurt. and i'm trying to justify these feelings in my h...

albertarose · albertarose

Hi Friends, I am feeling a little sad today. My AH and I split up again. The second time since August. It's for the best as I see he is not willing to change. I am changing and making progress in my f2f meetings, couseling, support group for abused women, open AA meetings every Friday and I just starte...

evey · evey

AH called me at work crying and carrying on that he was going to "do something" and wanted to say goodbye to me. I didn't run home, he has done this before, but he also called various family members, including his college age daughters, who all began calling me at work, and then he called a...

Alanoner · Alanoner

Hi Everyone, Recently I posted something about how I was looking for the "recovery" on this board and it was hard to find, this was after reading what felt like the upteenth self obsessed "poor me" vent from someone who claimed to have like loads of recovery and years in the prog...

nmike · nmike

Hi Friends, I don't even recognize the man I have been married to for 33 years. We haven't lived together for 2 years. I cannot believe the things he says and does. Was I in denial all those years of marriage? Did I want him to be who I wanted him to be? We use to talk about our values of money and child...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family)))))))), A called me at work this afternoon. He called and said: " I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you and all you do. I don't say it often enough, but I do." Oh he prefaced this by saying, "I'm not drinking." (He's been sober 10 month...

eyeteach1 · eyeteach1

My name is Teresa and I'm fairly certain the answer is yes, but in reading a few of the posts here, I'm wondering if this is the place I need to come or not. It seems that many people here are family and friends of people who are not trying to work on their disease, and they are trying to deal with tha...

ShelBell · ShelBell

And I am doing the happy leader dance. The girls did great, though, earning around $700.00 for their troop. Now I have to help them spend it!!! Every year, I say I am not going to let the GS Cookie sale take over my life, but they still do. So I have written a little humor to share with my fellow leaders, le...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	got a call this morning... (Preview) Well, I was awakened by a call this morning from my A husband's new $20 an hr. job asking if I had seen him, he hasn't been to work in two days and this is their emergency contact... I had to tell them sorry don't know... I called his sponsor and he had kicked him out on Friday I guess for being...	carolinagirl	5	561	Mar 28, 2007 by TLC2
	Recent Pregnancy (Preview) I recently found out Iam pregnant. Ive been married for one year now and the marriage has been both wonderful and challenging. My husband is addicted to pot. Now, I am worried about bringing a baby into this situation. I am feeling sick to my stomach every time I smell the pot smoke now. I worry that my hus...	EarthAngel	3	480	Mar 28, 2007 by Rita G
	My hope is still floating :) (Preview) It's funny because this round of sobriety I've actually lost count of the days. I hope that's a plus. I get loving phone calls everday, I get sweet text messages. Our every other weekend visits are going better then planned. The kids are seeing a new couple blossom before their little eyes. Having him l...	Friendofyours	4	364	Mar 28, 2007 by Friendofyours
	i did it again!(kinda long) (Preview) the psycologist from my 12 year old's schol called today. someone's mom called her and told her that my daughter has been "cutting" herself. i met a girl last year who was a "cutter" she had alot of other problems but cutting herself was her compulsion. i was blindsided by this in...	serendipity	4	445	Mar 28, 2007 by carolinagirl
	ESH Needed, not alcohol related, sorry long (Preview) ((((Friends))))) It is March 27th. I just found out a few minutes ago that yet another person I have known for years and whom I loved died on March 18th. He died of liver failure (not alcohol related). On top of being shocked and incredibly sad I am also perplexed and possibly a little angry. ...	lilms	5	466	Mar 28, 2007 by Rita G
	new problem with my daughter and alcohol ESH please (Preview) I am angry, scared, upset, worried, and just about out of my mind. My 15 year old daughter got 5 days suspension from school for drinking at school.... Oh my God! I never thought she would pull something like this. She is very dark, goth, and troubled, but never had anything like this happen. A friend tol...	hippietrippiechick	5	544	Mar 28, 2007 by hippietrippiechick
	here goes nothing..... (Preview) im new at this whole "spilling my problems" thing, i spoke to a veteran al-anon member tonite on the phone, instead of a meeting, we both felt that this board would work better for now...baby steps. i grew up with an alcoholic mother, an EXTREME alcoholic. it took me the better part of 26 year...	LucyFurr	13	3440	Mar 28, 2007 by LucyFurr
	Can anybody help me? (Preview) I've never posted here or been to an alanon meeting, or even talked to anyone. It's a long story so I'll just hit the basics and ask my question. My husband has a drinking problem. I wouldn't care so much except he is a MEAN drunk. He quit for 6 mos on his own after...: A) he threatened to beat the crap out of me...	stephie	8	593	Mar 27, 2007 by nmike
	I've got the co-dependent birthday blues... (Preview) It's my birthday today and for some reason, every year on this day, I get a lump in my throat and get a little teary. Not because I'm a year older (omigod). I fact, I'm not even sure why but I do believe it has to do with co-dependency. On this particular day I just feel more unloved and lonel...	jaja	9	617	Mar 27, 2007 by maresie2
	A God/Hp thing? :-) (Preview) (((((Everyone)))) We actually had a car for the Pinewood Derby, lol. One thing I didn't mention is that we were missing one of the nails that hold the tires on. They are so strict that we couldn't use just any nail, I thought well we'll make due some how. We had place the 4 tires and 3 nails...	Lunamoth	8	527	Mar 27, 2007 by wp
	Step 3 = not for me (Preview) STEP 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to god as we understood him. I suppose alot of this problem is that I have been a reletively committed atheist for a while now. I mean I can be pretty open minded about theology, but I do not have what people call FAITH. I just don't. Maybe I have b...	RainyJamie	15	864	Mar 27, 2007 by wp
	I think my A needs more help than what he is receiving (Preview) A few days ago I posted that my AH and I have split up again due to his addictions and verbal abuse. It's been just over a week and I am doing well but I feel he is not. I went to an open AA meeting on Friday March 22 with some Al anon friends and he was there. I was pleased to see that he was there, as he has not b...	albertarose	8	791	Mar 27, 2007 by albertarose
	How I view alanon (Preview) (((((((Friends))))))) I found this while sorting out my desk yesterday and thought I would share it with you all. It sums up for me perfectly what alanon is all about and what we can find in listening and learning from each other. A Hasidic story tells of a man who went for a walk in the forest and got lost...	lilms	4	466	Mar 27, 2007 by david62
	Setting the AH free (Preview) My AH has been out of jail for one week. He said he will NOT go back. He was really angry the 1st part of the week but the anger was moving aside a bit more as the days went by. He text messages me constantly. He tells me all the normal promises and sorrys. Standard procedure. He went out and bought me and th...	QOD	6	624	Mar 27, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Powerless (Preview) Powerless - some days that word seems so hopeless. Like such a sad word. Powerless. I remember when I first started this journey of recovery, I was grateful for Step 1 - That I was powerless over alcohol/drugs and the people that it affected. That it wasn't my fault. I wasn't responsible...	Rita G	6	493	Mar 27, 2007 by Rita G
	Letting Go, by Kay Lafley (Preview) To let go doesn't mean to stop caring; It means I can't do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, It is the realization that I can't control another. To let go is not to enable, But to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, Which means th...	Demilas	1	1495	Mar 27, 2007 by diamond
	Prayers Please (Preview) As I was praying for my son last night, I was thinking of all of you, and wishing I could contact you, so you could add your prayers to mine. I knew you certainly would if you knew I needed them! HP has answered so many of my prayers already! My son was in an accident at work and had a meat-eating chemical splas...	TLC2	12	705	Mar 26, 2007 by aunitedway
	anonimity (Preview) Does anyone know the reality/rules in al anon around whether in order to provide service at the district level or higher that a loss of anonimity is part of the deal? How does anonimity and acting in service as a group rep or district rep or higher in the state -- what's been your experience in how...	emma	4	486	Mar 26, 2007 by bobump
	As time goes by I'm feeling better (Preview) (((MIP Family))) I've been laying low lately but still reading and keeping up with everyone. Lately I have felt like I didn't have much insight to contribute, just felt so drained and depressed. I did take some good direction from my therapist and my AH and saw my PMD and got some medication...	twinmom2	3	502	Mar 26, 2007 by Tiger2006
	He called.... (Preview) Hubby called my cell phone today (while I was sitting in a movie) and I didn't answer it. After the show was over, he had sent me a voice mail, and said "I just wondered if you were ok.I saw your car still at the house when I was on my way to work this morning. ( I called off due to a migrain...	Becky1	2	502	Mar 26, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Self Destruct (Preview) I'm not really sure why but I have been on some kind of self destruct rampage for the past couple of months. I have been going out every weekend drinking and dancing and just getting out of the house. Most of the time alone. I have been smoking when I drink (I quit over a year ago) and now it's cre...	carolinagirl	11	474	Mar 26, 2007 by lin0606
	ALLY'S GOAL (Preview) ((((((((((((((((Roomies)))))))))))))))))) Spoke to the GSO, today. I have applied about opening up a Saturday night face to face meeting....And It looks positive....I have a night and a time. I have a possibile venue...So It looks good for me... This is giving me a focus....Just what I need... Pl...	ally	2	437	Mar 26, 2007 by Barbs45
	The Disease Speaks (Preview) I went to an open AA meeting last night, as could not find any Alanon meetings on Sat. night. Had to drive 25 miles each way just to get to this open AA meeting! The man who gave the lead read a letter something likethis.....and passed out copies. I don't know where it came from, as he didn't say...	Becky1	10	805	Mar 26, 2007 by Diva
	Keep holding on... (Preview) ((((((Everyone)))))) When I first heard this song I was reminded of all the wonderful people in this program that kept me going on days I was sure I was going to die. My pain was huge, I'll never forget it. I remember telling someone as I sat on the steps of my deck that I really thought I was going to d...	Lunamoth	2	418	Mar 26, 2007 by Becky1
	being in transition (Preview) I am in the process of moving still. I do not really know what the A is doing whether he will maI ke it through his own transition so I am trying to be able to take as much as I can. I cannot rely on the A for much he is so scattered. My heart is full of grief. At the same time I know I hit a wall where I could not try anym...	maresie2	5	464	Mar 26, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Writing the lyrics to my life (Preview) I've been writing alot lately, after the kids are asleep... Innocent Dreams There once was a girl, Who was hurt and confused, She fell into love, Was hurt and abused. For years she just smiled, Pulled on her coat, Kept her head up, She learned how to cope. One day she walked out, She stepped out that d...	Miranda	3	585	Mar 26, 2007 by Rita G
	tatoo (Preview) Dear Family, Thought I would let you know my daughter who is a Sr in High School this year came by today to show off her tatoo. lol Not sure what she expected from us but we looked at it and said it looked nice but didn't want one for ourselves. She said she was surprised..she expected us to go off. lol...	irish54	5	361	Mar 26, 2007 by irish54
	Beginning to understand.... (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I posted last week. I so appreciate the responses. Hard as they are to hear sometimes. Someone had posted that we Alanoners stay in the blame game saying our unhappiness is all the A's fault. I could see that in my post when I reread what I had written. It is kinda like a chess game - when h...	nmike	4	599	Mar 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	Dealing With Emotional Pain (Preview) (Hurt - Bitterness - Injustice - Abused Pain) We feel emotional pain when we do not get what we want, need, or expect. We might feel hurt, rejection, bitterness, abuse, injustice or simply emotional pain. In such cases, we have not received the behavior or outcomes we expected or believed we deserv...	Phil	4	813	Mar 26, 2007 by browneyes
	leaving on a jet plane (Preview) (((family))) i haven't posted very often, lately, but wanted to let you all know that you are in my prayers. i will be deployed for a little while (couple weeks), and wanted to share some HOPE. i continue to attend face to face meetings (4 a week, usually), make program calls to new and old "fa...	CJ	15	700	Mar 26, 2007 by Rita G
	Have no idea what we are doing or what to do.....we are on a wing and a prayer (Preview) It has only been 3 weeks since I was told about my brothers problems. My parents and my family and another brother - we all live in West Virginia. My brother with the problems lives in Utah. Being so far away he has lied and kept secrets for several years we are finding out now. It was only in the 4 - 6 weeks tha...	derfsvic	4	568	Mar 26, 2007 by lin0606
	Just a little update (Preview) Hello Everyone! Been a while since I have been here. I have been so busy lately. First off, my pregnancy is going very well. I am finally getting over the sickness part and feeling more and more energy everyday. Nearly to the half way mark! I am very excited about that. lol. Still don't know w...	melamom815	5	546	Mar 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	i thought the hard days were over (Preview) The day that i decided to buy him out of our property was a day of strength. i knew i could do it! And i knew he was upset that it has come to this but i didnt want to keep a property under a joint name, as it was going to keep me connected to him for as long as that was OURS. We dont have kids, so i dont have to see him fo...	arty	12	712	Mar 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	Almost a year (Preview) April 30, 2006 I told my AH that he had to leave our home. June 6, 2006 the divorce was finalized. It is almost a year since the last time I have seen him. It is almost a year since I have been divorced. I have tried for this entire time to be sorry that he is gone. I have tried to grieve the end of the marriag...	ditto	4	569	Mar 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	HP Has Started a Work in Me(very long, sorry) (Preview) OK, HP. I give up. I keep praying and asking you for a sign of what I should do. I must be deaf, blind, and mentally challenged........ Those of you who know me, know I have been in and around Alanon for a little over a year. I actually went to a few meetings 20+ years ago, when I was married to another A. Bu...	Becky1	7	584	Mar 25, 2007 by nmike
	Mike you have a message (Preview) Please check your message box.	shadow1	0	302	Mar 25, 2007 by shadow1
	thank you doesn't seem to cover it (Preview) i want to let y'all know i am feeling much better. better than i have in the past week and a half. saner. and that is thanks to you guys, the wise people in my f2f meetings and hp. who knows how long this peace within me will last so i want to post and say thank you. nothing has changed except me. i brought up...	serendipity	1	400	Mar 25, 2007 by irish54
	Request for alanon book (closed) (Preview) Hi everyone again. I am putting this post out to each and every one of you. Let me first say I am not trying to act like a beggar in the street for a crust of bread, but I do have a need and I wanted to see if anyone could and/or would be willing to help me. I have really been looking at the information of the Al-an...	hippietrippiechick	4	628	Mar 25, 2007 by irish54
	Writing the lyrics to my life (Preview) I've been writing alot lately, after the kids are asleep... Innocent Dreams There once was a girl, Who was hurt and confused, She fell into love, Was hurt and abused. For years she just smiled, Pulled on her coat, Kept her head up, She learned how to cope. One day she walked out, She stepped out that d...	Miranda	2	553	Mar 25, 2007 by Maria123
	I'm Lost (Preview) I saw this poem posted in a doctor's office the other day...I suppose it was meant to be funny...but I saw a deeper meaning. I'm Lost I've lost myself. If I return when I get back, please ask me to wait. This got me to thinking about how many lost people there are out there ...	java	5	711	Mar 25, 2007 by Becky1
	no restraining order issued (Preview) I just wanted to let everyone know that after talking with the courts they would not issue a restraining order. Didn't feel that it met the "requirements" here. I am so angry I don't know what to do, but, yet I am so confused. In my state it the restraining order refers to adults doing...	still searching	6	611	Mar 25, 2007 by debilyn
	5 Life Lessons (Preview) Good morning, (((((Family))))) A friend emailed these to me this morning and that were such great things for me to think about as I travel through my life today I thought I would share them with all my best friends. Lessons about the way we treat people. 1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lad...	david62	11	658	Mar 25, 2007 by maresie2
	Just hang on a little longer... (Preview) It's funny how one day can seem so awful that you think you'll never get through it but if you just hang on to your sanity for a little longer things get better. Yesterday I was depressed with no friends and feeling sorry for myself and today I can't figure out what to do this weekend because...	carolinagirl	7	554	Mar 25, 2007 by maresie2
	Here is a great big hug to all at our Al-anon MIP! (Preview) Ever since I entered this wonderful group I felt a peaceful closeness to all of you. When I was confused you helped me to see; What it is all about, and what is happening to me. I just want to thank you all for listening, caring, and reaching out. It just leaves me without a doubt..... That this group's...	hippietrippiechick	2	726	Mar 25, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Finally, I'm back (Preview) (((((((Dear Friends))))))) My server for the past couple of weeks or so has been a real rat bastage. They seem to have worked out the kinks so for now I am back. I sure have missed you all and when life allows the time will be able to catch up on posts, make it into meetings etc. YAAAAAAAAAAY!...	lilms	4	427	Mar 25, 2007 by John
	Does one have a heart to heart with their alcoholic? (Preview) I would like to know does anyone try to have a heart to heart with their alchoic while trying to find themselves going through the steps. I have read a lot on it but confused on this issue. Does one still try?	kopkreations	11	834	Mar 25, 2007 by Demilas
	my anger motivates me (Preview) again thank you for the love and support. Luna said grow up and that really made sense. i am trying. i don't know how, at least i wasn't shown how to be an adult, or have an adult relationship. i have tried so hard but when working with an A it might just be impossible. Yet again, i see it is me. i went...	serendipity	4	678	Mar 25, 2007 by Kim65
	ESH needed. My A came over and I had to make him leave. (Preview) Well, what an evening---straight into Hell. I should have known that by his nasty attitude earlier today that it would not be good for a visit today. We both fell asleep at our own dwellings, and I called him back. Same attitude. I was totally set on keeping my boundaries in my home. I dont think he likes...	hippietrippiechick	4	580	Mar 24, 2007 by hippietrippiechick
	Hard night (Preview) It's been a while since my A has made me cry. He succeeded tonight. I could have banged my head against a wall trying to make him wake up and see. Yes, I've been there and done that -- you'd think I'd have learned by now. My Son has to finish his pinewood derby car (scouts) by Sunday aft...	Lunamoth	8	562	Mar 24, 2007 by Karilynn
	am I over reacting?? (Preview) He walked into my daughters room (she is 8) and starts complaining about her shoes being in the way in her bedroom. She says they are on the floor. So this grown man then takes her papers from her dresser and her blanket and throws them on the floor and then tells her to pick it up. She tells him no. He then tel...	still searching	16	704	Mar 24, 2007 by still searching
	Can't breath (Preview) I can't breath. I have known this feeling before, it's anxiety over feeling controlled. I feel out of control. What's the first step? Admitted we were powerless. Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. I feel out of control and insane. I am w...	java	4	560	Mar 24, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Do you need a sponsor to do the steps? (Preview) I have done step one and two, but get a little shy of step 3. I was wondering if I could just work it over in my head, or if I need a sponsor in order to say "Hey, I'm on step 3"? I don't really know how to find a sponsor right now. thanks Jamie	RainyJamie	3	390	Mar 24, 2007 by lin0606
	my green eyes (Preview) first of all, i want to thank you all for the love and support in your replies. i try to keep those thoughts in my head when my feelings come up. i'm having a difficult day today. the thought of my ex with another woman is driving me insane. i am so hurt. and i'm trying to justify these feelings in my h...	serendipity	4	452	Mar 24, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Letting Go (Preview) Hi Friends, I am feeling a little sad today. My AH and I split up again. The second time since August. It's for the best as I see he is not willing to change. I am changing and making progress in my f2f meetings, couseling, support group for abused women, open AA meetings every Friday and I just starte...	albertarose	9	687	Mar 24, 2007 by albertarose
	alcoholic game or real threat (Preview) AH called me at work crying and carrying on that he was going to "do something" and wanted to say goodbye to me. I didn't run home, he has done this before, but he also called various family members, including his college age daughters, who all began calling me at work, and then he called a...	evey	12	702	Mar 24, 2007 by evey
	Please accept my amends (Preview) Hi Everyone, Recently I posted something about how I was looking for the "recovery" on this board and it was hard to find, this was after reading what felt like the upteenth self obsessed "poor me" vent from someone who claimed to have like loads of recovery and years in the prog...	Alanoner	9	558	Mar 23, 2007 by drucilla06
	Was I in that much denial? (Preview) Hi Friends, I don't even recognize the man I have been married to for 33 years. We haven't lived together for 2 years. I cannot believe the things he says and does. Was I in denial all those years of marriage? Did I want him to be who I wanted him to be? We use to talk about our values of money and child...	nmike	8	652	Mar 23, 2007 by drucilla06
	Nice to hear (Preview) ((((((((Family)))))))), A called me at work this afternoon. He called and said: " I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you and all you do. I don't say it often enough, but I do." Oh he prefaced this by saying, "I'm not drinking." (He's been sober 10 month...	Karilynn	12	508	Mar 23, 2007 by lin0606
	Do I Belong Here? (Preview) My name is Teresa and I'm fairly certain the answer is yes, but in reading a few of the posts here, I'm wondering if this is the place I need to come or not. It seems that many people here are family and friends of people who are not trying to work on their disease, and they are trying to deal with tha...	eyeteach1	5	594	Mar 23, 2007 by CJ
	GS Cookies are OVER!!!! (Preview) And I am doing the happy leader dance. The girls did great, though, earning around $700.00 for their troop. Now I have to help them spend it!!! Every year, I say I am not going to let the GS Cookie sale take over my life, but they still do. So I have written a little humor to share with my fellow leaders, le...	ShelBell	9	571	Mar 23, 2007 by jajanma
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