Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

diamond · diamond

In reading some other posts...this phrase hit me and I decided to write it out to see how far I've come. "Being lonely vs. Being alone" After being married to an alcoholic for 17 years, I understand how you can 'be with' someone and yet still feel lonely. It took me a long time to grasp that c...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I think it was in one of the Getting Them Sober books that said moving the furniture has nothing to do with your marriage. We are afraid to move the furniture around thinking that means that the marriage is over. So, I have waited 2 years afraid that if I moved the furniture then my AHsober wo...

Maria123 · Maria123

I sooooooooo needed this email today and I hope it will make you smile and laugh out loud as it did me. ~Maria

kerry5 · kerry5

Newcomers meeting Tonight at 7pm est. Hope to see you there! kerry

debilyn · debilyn

i tried to make this stupid font bigger.... Ok ever since the AH was in that store with the not nice woman, and was mean to me, I have awful nightmares about him. Last one he was killing my loved ones in horrible ways. He would not hurt me becuz he loved me too much...?? i wake up feeling so hurt, broken dessim...

Rita G · Rita G

Sunday, 4/30 at 1:00 pm I will be sharing my story of recovery at the Legacy AA Group Anniversary Meeting, in Pasadena TX (near Houston). My dear MIP family, please keep me in your thoughts & prayers that I will as always share the message of HOPE that can be found in Al-Anon regardless of the situ...

Kim65 · Kim65

there's actually something that can be DONE!! My greatest fear (and not a realistic one, apparently) was that I was just screwed and deserved to lose everything because I was stupid and careless enough to put in with a person like my A. The negativity of that way of thinking is obvious now. I get caugh...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) I'm back.... I had a wonderful holiday.....It was a pilgrimage to Lourdes. I'm not really a religious person. I am a catholic, and I guess I have been trying to find the God of my understanding for my 3rd step.....And going on this holiday has been amazing for me. I h...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello Everyone, Thanks to a program designed to make this webpage the size of a billboard LOL I can visit once in a while during my 30 day trial. Along with the cool stickers for my keyboard that allow me to see what buttons I am pushing. I wish I could manage to get thru more of the posts,I have not found anyt...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Negativity Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns. Negative energy ca...

AllisonNurse · AllisonNurse

Hi, my name is Allison, and im new here, i started going to the al anon group meetings not too long ago and found it to be a haven, and the only thing that kept my sanity. Before, i was a total enabler, picking up my mothers peices, putting her to bed, taking her keys, listening and believing her sob stories...

pinky · pinky

Hi I am new here, I won't go through my long story I'm sure you all have heard it before. What I need help with is my kids, I have 1 that is acting out and 1 that holds it all in, I have been sober for 11 years and my husband went down hill 2 years ago, I want to leave but where do I go? but then he dangles that carrot i...

steppgirl · steppgirl

Tomorrow my A boyfriend has a race.. I'm going alone.. I haven't talk to him so I don't know if he will be there.. I love the races so I don't want to miss it.. I am being strong while we are seperated but I'm scared to see him.. We have lived together for a year and I made him move out 3 days ago because he isn't w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I think I have come a long way since first finding this board. I remember when I first moved out I thought my life was over, he was my life and I couldn't imagine it without him. I lost more than 1/2 the family income and had no idea how I would support three kids on my own. Here it is eight months later and I...

Becky1 · Becky1

Not exactly a step back, but stepping back from my AH. I have some extreme abandonment issues...this has caused me to hold too tightly to my AH. This past week, when we went for a week without talking, touching, or anything, I decided I was really going to have to change myself. So, I am distancing mys...

Christy · Christy

My sober AH sent me this joke in an email this morning. I'm glad he can find humor in his disease, I hope y'all can too. I thought it was way funny. A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standin...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, Can anyone suggest efective ways to deal with anger, or books on the subject. I seem to be being tested on this lately. thanks AM

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Just to catch anyone up, I got an email from my mother in law last Wed. saying my husband had been in a horrible car accident, punctured a lung etc. and was in the hospital somewhere but she didn't know where. Also, he had told her that he didn't want me to know. Finally, she got worried after not hearing f...

cac · cac

Yesterday I did some good work with Step 1 I admit that I am powerless over my husbands addiction and that my life has become unmanageable. I cannot control my husband. I cannot control what will happen when he comes home. I cannot control whether or not he drinks. I can control myself. I...

serendipity · serendipity

I have this best friend,we have been close on and off from middle school. But she went one way and I went another. I started a family with my a. I had what she wanted. But her life was good,traveling,following her dreams. She has always been one of those girl bitches, do you know what iI mean? But she loves m...

aisling_29 · aisling_29

I am livid, hurt, dissapointed and a whole gammet of emotions right now. And I am trying to work at my job with all of this going through my head. I have been married to the same guy for 7 yrs, together for a total of 10 yrs. and we have a 3yr. old son. I have been saying to him for a long time that I think his dri...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))), I take no credit for this post. Abbyal posted this about a year ago, and it was a saving grace to me. I asked her if I could repost it. She graciously consented. Thank you Abbyal. You rock! When someone asked me that question many years ago, I though she was nuts, and said what ki...

QOD · QOD

My AH has managed to wiggle his way back home over the few weeks. He was staying with his stepdad and I thought that was a good place for him to be. He was coming over to my house just about every evening after work. He was cheery and bending over backwards to please me. Sweet talk, hugs, kisses. He was h...

TLM · TLM

I am wanting to do some more studying and reading, and was hoping that you all could give me suggestions on books that you have found especially powerful in your journey. I have had 'How Alanon Works' and 'Courage to Change' for years, and both are excellent. I would just like to add to them. I am thinki...

cac · cac

My AH is in rehab. He has been there for 12 days now. They are probably going to release him on Saturday. I feel confused and a little upset. I don't feel like 2 weeks is enough. I know that he is getting antsy and wants to come home. His counselor says he is doing great and that he has the tools to remain...

sissy · sissy

My 18 nephew died last mother day. His B-day is Sat. I am really missing him . How do you celebrate the 1st year without them? So people are telling me that should pretend like it is another day. Actually it was one of the best day of my life. I would tell him that every year.

hersh · hersh

(((Everyone))) Isn't it amazing when you think you are okay, and everything is under control, and your deep-seeded anger comes back again? I was okay with sober A going to jail for his six month stint (he began last Friday night). I was calm about it, I did not freak out about being alone or the financia...

Maria123 · Maria123

((((((((Family))))))))))), Well I just got back from my concert ~ Martina, Little Big Town and Rodney Atkins. Wow it was amazing. So many beautiful (and sad at times) songs. Many of the lyrics remind me of program and of the beautiful people here helping me through my recovery. It's been a really to...

david62 · david62

Hi ((((((Family))))))) Just got home from the conference that my home group sponsors every year. This conference is my recovery birth-place and is very special to me.I worked very, very hard this year(I was the raffle chairman) selling tickets and had to get up on stage and give out the stuff.It was a...

shadow1 · shadow1

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEN ALLY!!! Sounds like your having the time of your life. So gald you decided to take that trip but I miss you loads here. Have a wonderful day hen!!!! Have some on me. Love ya Shad

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))))), I can't believe we have just one week left before hubby's surgery! Where did the time go? This time next week we will be getting ready to leave for the hospital. At times I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed. It seems like every time I cross something off the list, they send u...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Friends))) I knew it was coming, I could see my son (J)'s anger and fear about his father not being home right now. They know their Dad is sick because of drinking too much, but they truly cannot wrap their minds around everything that has happened because I've sheltered them from that. They know t...

Kim65 · Kim65

Thank HP I have Alanons to get excited with me over my baby steps!! I have a phone appt with a lawyer on Friday to begin taking care of protecting my assets. Like I said before, I don't WANT to do it, I must do it . . . it took hours yesterday to send a lame email to the law office, but today I told myself 'you can g...

simplyme · simplyme

This is not meant to be a snarky question. I am engaged to someone who has developed a problem since we met. I am having a hard time leaving, but when I read this board I see so much pain that I feel I can avoid. Why do you stay married to/ in a love relationship with your A? Thanks.

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I have been wondering about this. It seems that my A will go to any extent to convince me that things didn't happen WHEN WE WERE BOTH RIGHT THERE!! It is obvious to me that he mostly does this to avoid shedding an unpleasant light onto himself. He would rather have me believe that I am crazy than fess up to th...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone)))))) I have had so many people tell me that they got hypnotized to quit smoking that I have decided to give it a shot. What could it hurt, right? So if I come back on here sounding like a chicken or a duck.... you will know what happened. LOL Wouldn't it be nice to have a 12 step hypnotist?...

steppgirl · steppgirl

Well I'm going in circles with my a again.. I broke up with him finally.. I've been going to alanon meeting since Nov 2006.. I've learned alot about myself and the addiction.. Working the program is really hard but I haven't given up! I wish that I could say the same for him.. How do I hang on to the love I hav...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear (((((Roomies)))), I never thought it was my attitude that might be the problem... Growing up in A-home, I learned to really use my brain to try to figure out the situation--I was a smart kid and I read a lot of self-help as a kid trying to figure out how to help us all. The pattern I had was to read, read,...

aunitedway · aunitedway

once i got my self busy.... it became easier for me to Let Go and Let God. Felt better too as I learned in how to Let things Go. i can choose to begin the minute i realize (begin the steps to turn it over) and move forward from there. Always. i can choose to get into the right frame of mind. HP ca...

arty · arty

I thought my life was going forward when i kicked him out. we are in contact on a daily basis, partly coz we miss eachother and partly coz i want to hear his voice, coz when i hear him i know if he has been drinking or not. He tells me he isnt drinking and he knows he is to stay sober if we are going to ever try "...

DelilahJones · DelilahJones

Well maybe not "new". I've been lurking for about a month and have learned a lot and want to thank you all for helping me to realize that I'm not the only one living with an alcoholic and feeling what I'm feeling. My stories closely match all your stories and the similarity is scary sometime...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Low and behold, I was right!! Found out today that my ex broke up with me because he met someone else. I didnt ask many questions, because I was just happy to finally have a reason for him ending our relationship. I wish I had her email address though because she's gonna need the link to this message b...

weggie · weggie

Hello to all. Thanks for everyone's advice this week. My problem is that it has been one week and I have still not talked to my A. I think men can deal with the not taking issue more than women. I have been upset with him over his actions last weekend. I have given it to God and my A friend said I should sta...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

To give you a little background, my husband and I were asked last year to start an Alanon group at our church. At the time I told them that we could not be affiliated with the church, we would have to rent the room etc. Recently an AA meeting was started at the same church, same time as Al-Anon and both non s...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well its Friday again (I hate Fridays) !!! Low and behold who calls me this morning? My ex A b/f. He blocked his number so I picked up. He was just calling to see how I was. Said he was worried because he hadn't heard from me. I have been avoiding him like the plague for a while, just to try to heal from al...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Friends))) Thank you so much for your posts yesterday it truly helped me to get through yesterday and some of you really made me laugh. Sometimes I get so angry and I just have to let it out before I explode. No explosions yesterday. I was pretty cold and distant to my AH on the phone, but in the eveni...

minnie · minnie

I keep going back and forth with this, but I don't think I want to be married to my AH anymore. I don't even think I love him. And I don't think that it all has to do with his drinking. I feel so pathetic. I was almost relieved that he finally admitted he was an A, and admitted other things that happened bec...

Kim65 · Kim65

I hope this is OK, it's not a legal forum. I'm having trouble with finding out where to start. I will seek out a lawyer BUT want to be educated first. My A and I are not legally married. We've been together cohabitating since 6/00. We did not get married then b/c he was (is) still married to his first wif...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear ((((Roomies)))), The simplest way I have thought to discover and enforce my boundaries is from a desire to care and nurture myself. I have started to notice things like: what interrupts my sleep, what conversation topics leave me feeling depleted, when do I stop eating food that is good for me, w...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Do you ever get into a mood where you just dont want to be around anyone and all you're up to is spending the entire day in bed? Sulking and feeling sorry for yourself? That was my day today. I cant understand why I have such ups and downs. Why cant their be a balance? Why cant I detach from him? Why is th...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all.... In a bit of a reflective mood today, and once again reminded that life doesn't always go according to MY plan, but that there are miracles still happening around us, even if they are not how we envisioned them. Last night, I dropped my kids off at their Mom's 5-year cake celebration, which is...

maresie2 · maresie2

right now the A is in his get back into gear mode. That is usually the time he is nice to me. Of course starved as I am I usually jump at it. Everything in his life is a huge secret, a huge intrigue. This time I am not intriuged. He pulls me in so many different ways. I am intrigued by his crisis, secrecy and dram...

weggie · weggie

Hello to all and here is my delima. I have posted that my A messed up again and I can't seem to pull myself up. Last week he was cited for drunk and disorderly in a public place. His friend was brought into the situation and my A was embarrased. Anyway,,I know I have to forgive and I have because he has a di...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

((((Everyone)))) I am a very grateful member of al-anon. Over the last few months anger has consumed my life, a rage within me that even I couldnt seem to control. This just isn't me...I can get angry, but this was so different. It was all consuming. When I look back I see that it started when my father...

bubbles1990 · bubbles1990

Hi ((((((((everyone)))))) My hubby and I will be in Cailf in May and I was wondering if anyone would like to meet us hafe way at a resturant or something.. I am going to be visiting Trina in in Yosemity..... Anyways please PM if you are interested!!!! Bubbles123

newday · newday

So many times I've made decisions regarding my A or any other situation in my life that in hind's sight, the outcome was not my intention. For instance, for years I lived with my A and put up with his active disease until I couldn't take it anymore and then I would explode, throw him out...wait a few weeks,...

annmarie · annmarie

I work in an adult college. Last week a student (in her 50's who I've smelled alcohol from on occasion) came a bit late to class. Class begins at 9.30am. She again smelled of alcohol, but had been trying to disguise it. the tutor found her very negative and dragged the class down. She had no concentration...

lin0606 · lin0606

First, I'd like to say thanks to everyone who has been so supportive. You're right, thinking of myself as the base that everyone else can lean on is bound to fail - I'll collapse, and no one will be well off. It's not accurate anyway - already there are indications that MY ideas of what everybody needs,...

englishrose · englishrose

I went to my first meeting last night. I was scared - terrified in fact. My A knew I was going - she was so proud of me. Everyone at the meeting was so warm and wonderful, I sat like a rabbit caught in the headlights. But, at the end of the meeting, a lovely lady (M) handed me her phone number and told me to call he...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Being lonely vs. being alone (Preview) In reading some other posts...this phrase hit me and I decided to write it out to see how far I've come. "Being lonely vs. Being alone" After being married to an alcoholic for 17 years, I understand how you can 'be with' someone and yet still feel lonely. It took me a long time to grasp that c...	diamond	7	647	Apr 28, 2007 by maresie2
	Moved the TV.... (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I think it was in one of the Getting Them Sober books that said moving the furniture has nothing to do with your marriage. We are afraid to move the furniture around thinking that means that the marriage is over. So, I have waited 2 years afraid that if I moved the furniture then my AHsober wo...	nmike	3	449	Apr 28, 2007 by lmt123
	Through A Child's Eyes (Preview) I sooooooooo needed this email today and I hope it will make you smile and laugh out loud as it did me. ~Maria	Maria123	1	306	Apr 28, 2007 by lmt123
	New Comers Meeting (Preview) Newcomers meeting Tonight at 7pm est. Hope to see you there! kerry	kerry5	0	368	Apr 28, 2007 by kerry5
	nightmares (Preview) i tried to make this stupid font bigger.... Ok ever since the AH was in that store with the not nice woman, and was mean to me, I have awful nightmares about him. Last one he was killing my loved ones in horrible ways. He would not hurt me becuz he loved me too much...?? i wake up feeling so hurt, broken dessim...	debilyn	15	681	Apr 28, 2007 by carolena
	Anniversary Meeting @ Legacy AA Group (Preview) Sunday, 4/30 at 1:00 pm I will be sharing my story of recovery at the Legacy AA Group Anniversary Meeting, in Pasadena TX (near Houston). My dear MIP family, please keep me in your thoughts & prayers that I will as always share the message of HOPE that can be found in Al-Anon regardless of the situ...	Rita G	6	618	Apr 28, 2007 by carolena
	Spoke to the lawyer and . . . (Preview) there's actually something that can be DONE!! My greatest fear (and not a realistic one, apparently) was that I was just screwed and deserved to lose everything because I was stupid and careless enough to put in with a person like my A. The negativity of that way of thinking is obvious now. I get caugh...	Kim65	6	474	Apr 28, 2007 by carosie
	SPIRITUAL AWAKENING WITHIN AL-ANON (Preview) (((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) I'm back.... I had a wonderful holiday.....It was a pilgrimage to Lourdes. I'm not really a religious person. I am a catholic, and I guess I have been trying to find the God of my understanding for my 3rd step.....And going on this holiday has been amazing for me. I h...	ally	8	772	Apr 27, 2007 by Maria123
	I miss you all (Preview) Hello Everyone, Thanks to a program designed to make this webpage the size of a billboard LOL I can visit once in a while during my 30 day trial. Along with the cool stickers for my keyboard that allow me to see what buttons I am pushing. I wish I could manage to get thru more of the posts,I have not found anyt...	Jennifer	8	711	Apr 27, 2007 by Maria123
	I'm sure any of us that survived Catholic school can comiserate... (Preview)	Tiger2006	5	1063	Apr 27, 2007 by Gailey
	My denial cloud continues to lift... (Preview) Negativity Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns. Negative energy ca...	Tiger2006	3	493	Apr 27, 2007 by Rita G
	New here, and glad to be here (Preview) Hi, my name is Allison, and im new here, i started going to the al anon group meetings not too long ago and found it to be a haven, and the only thing that kept my sanity. Before, i was a total enabler, picking up my mothers peices, putting her to bed, taking her keys, listening and believing her sob stories...	AllisonNurse	7	681	Apr 27, 2007 by Friendofyours
	helping children understand (Preview) Hi I am new here, I won't go through my long story I'm sure you all have heard it before. What I need help with is my kids, I have 1 that is acting out and 1 that holds it all in, I have been sober for 11 years and my husband went down hill 2 years ago, I want to leave but where do I go? but then he dangles that carrot i...	pinky	5	466	Apr 27, 2007 by Friendofyours
	scared but strong (Preview) Tomorrow my A boyfriend has a race.. I'm going alone.. I haven't talk to him so I don't know if he will be there.. I love the races so I don't want to miss it.. I am being strong while we are seperated but I'm scared to see him.. We have lived together for a year and I made him move out 3 days ago because he isn't w...	steppgirl	4	509	Apr 27, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Taking care of everyone (Preview) I think I have come a long way since first finding this board. I remember when I first moved out I thought my life was over, he was my life and I couldn't imagine it without him. I lost more than 1/2 the family income and had no idea how I would support three kids on my own. Here it is eight months later and I...	carolinagirl	5	577	Apr 27, 2007 by ally
	Taking a Big Giant Step Back (Preview) Not exactly a step back, but stepping back from my AH. I have some extreme abandonment issues...this has caused me to hold too tightly to my AH. This past week, when we went for a week without talking, touching, or anything, I decided I was really going to have to change myself. So, I am distancing mys...	Becky1	6	696	Apr 27, 2007 by Karilynn
	A bit of humor (Preview) My sober AH sent me this joke in an email this morning. I'm glad he can find humor in his disease, I hope y'all can too. I thought it was way funny. A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standin...	Christy	10	661	Apr 27, 2007 by Karilynn
	I need help with anger (Preview) Hi everyone, Can anyone suggest efective ways to deal with anger, or books on the subject. I seem to be being tested on this lately. thanks AM	annmarie	10	561	Apr 27, 2007 by annmarie
	Found Husband - Update... (Preview) Just to catch anyone up, I got an email from my mother in law last Wed. saying my husband had been in a horrible car accident, punctured a lung etc. and was in the hospital somewhere but she didn't know where. Also, he had told her that he didn't want me to know. Finally, she got worried after not hearing f...	carolinagirl	12	605	Apr 26, 2007 by AndiLynn
	Step 1 (Preview) Yesterday I did some good work with Step 1 I admit that I am powerless over my husbands addiction and that my life has become unmanageable. I cannot control my husband. I cannot control what will happen when he comes home. I cannot control whether or not he drinks. I can control myself. I...	cac	2	338	Apr 26, 2007 by hersh
	Am I truly supposed to have no friends? (Preview) I have this best friend,we have been close on and off from middle school. But she went one way and I went another. I started a family with my a. I had what she wanted. But her life was good,traveling,following her dreams. She has always been one of those girl bitches, do you know what iI mean? But she loves m...	serendipity	6	600	Apr 26, 2007 by carolena
	Looking for advice/help or anything...(new here) (Preview) I am livid, hurt, dissapointed and a whole gammet of emotions right now. And I am trying to work at my job with all of this going through my head. I have been married to the same guy for 7 yrs, together for a total of 10 yrs. and we have a 3yr. old son. I have been saying to him for a long time that I think his dri...	aisling_29	8	611	Apr 26, 2007 by carosie
	Am I ready for sobriety????? (Preview) ((((((((Family))))), I take no credit for this post. Abbyal posted this about a year ago, and it was a saving grace to me. I asked her if I could repost it. She graciously consented. Thank you Abbyal. You rock! When someone asked me that question many years ago, I though she was nuts, and said what ki...	Karilynn	7	709	Apr 26, 2007 by babysteps
	Getting Stuck in that Same Ol' Rut (Preview) My AH has managed to wiggle his way back home over the few weeks. He was staying with his stepdad and I thought that was a good place for him to be. He was coming over to my house just about every evening after work. He was cheery and bending over backwards to please me. Sweet talk, hugs, kisses. He was h...	QOD	6	492	Apr 26, 2007 by QOD
	Need some good suggestions for reading material (Preview) I am wanting to do some more studying and reading, and was hoping that you all could give me suggestions on books that you have found especially powerful in your journey. I have had 'How Alanon Works' and 'Courage to Change' for years, and both are excellent. I would just like to add to them. I am thinki...	TLM	10	760	Apr 26, 2007 by TLM
	Only 2 weeks in rehab? (Preview) My AH is in rehab. He has been there for 12 days now. They are probably going to release him on Saturday. I feel confused and a little upset. I don't feel like 2 weeks is enough. I know that he is getting antsy and wants to come home. His counselor says he is doing great and that he has the tools to remain...	cac	10	607	Apr 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	How to Celberate an deceased 18 old b-day from drugs and Alochol (Preview) My 18 nephew died last mother day. His B-day is Sat. I am really missing him . How do you celebrate the 1st year without them? So people are telling me that should pretend like it is another day. Actually it was one of the best day of my life. I would tell him that every year.	sissy	6	449	Apr 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	Anger resurfaces.... (Preview) (((Everyone))) Isn't it amazing when you think you are okay, and everything is under control, and your deep-seeded anger comes back again? I was okay with sober A going to jail for his six month stint (he began last Friday night). I was calm about it, I did not freak out about being alone or the financia...	hersh	5	692	Apr 26, 2007 by annmarie
	Went to my concert tonight (Preview) ((((((((Family))))))))))), Well I just got back from my concert ~ Martina, Little Big Town and Rodney Atkins. Wow it was amazing. So many beautiful (and sad at times) songs. Many of the lyrics remind me of program and of the beautiful people here helping me through my recovery. It's been a really to...	Maria123	15	614	Apr 25, 2007 by wp
	Sitting around the Campfire (Preview) Hi ((((((Family))))))) Just got home from the conference that my home group sponsors every year. This conference is my recovery birth-place and is very special to me.I worked very, very hard this year(I was the raffle chairman) selling tickets and had to get up on stage and give out the stuff.It was a...	david62	6	605	Apr 25, 2007 by wp
	ONE OF OUR HENS IS HAVING A BIRTHDAY!!!!!! (Preview) HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEN ALLY!!! Sounds like your having the time of your life. So gald you decided to take that trip but I miss you loads here. Have a wonderful day hen!!!! Have some on me. Love ya Shad	shadow1	15	514	Apr 25, 2007 by wp
	One more week to go! (Preview) ((((((((Family))))))), I can't believe we have just one week left before hubby's surgery! Where did the time go? This time next week we will be getting ready to leave for the hospital. At times I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed. It seems like every time I cross something off the list, they send u...	Karilynn	12	555	Apr 25, 2007 by wp
	Had a heart to heart with my 4-year old last night (Preview) (((Friends))) I knew it was coming, I could see my son (J)'s anger and fear about his father not being home right now. They know their Dad is sick because of drinking too much, but they truly cannot wrap their minds around everything that has happened because I've sheltered them from that. They know t...	twinmom2	7	574	Apr 25, 2007 by Friendofyours
	I DID IT!!! (Preview) Thank HP I have Alanons to get excited with me over my baby steps!! I have a phone appt with a lawyer on Friday to begin taking care of protecting my assets. Like I said before, I don't WANT to do it, I must do it . . . it took hours yesterday to send a lame email to the law office, but today I told myself 'you can g...	Kim65	6	500	Apr 25, 2007 by Kim65
	Why do you stay? (Preview) This is not meant to be a snarky question. I am engaged to someone who has developed a problem since we met. I am having a hard time leaving, but when I read this board I see so much pain that I feel I can avoid. Why do you stay married to/ in a love relationship with your A? Thanks.	simplyme	20	811	Apr 25, 2007 by Karilynn
	Is denial a psychological condition? (Preview) I have been wondering about this. It seems that my A will go to any extent to convince me that things didn't happen WHEN WE WERE BOTH RIGHT THERE!! It is obvious to me that he mostly does this to avoid shedding an unpleasant light onto himself. He would rather have me believe that I am crazy than fess up to th...	RainyJamie	12	610	Apr 25, 2007 by RainyJamie
	I'm going to get hypnotized... LOL (Preview) ((((((Everyone)))))) I have had so many people tell me that they got hypnotized to quit smoking that I have decided to give it a shot. What could it hurt, right? So if I come back on here sounding like a chicken or a duck.... you will know what happened. LOL Wouldn't it be nice to have a 12 step hypnotist?...	rtexas	7	683	Apr 25, 2007 by QOD
	circles (Preview) Well I'm going in circles with my a again.. I broke up with him finally.. I've been going to alanon meeting since Nov 2006.. I've learned alot about myself and the addiction.. Working the program is really hard but I haven't given up! I wish that I could say the same for him.. How do I hang on to the love I hav...	steppgirl	2	447	Apr 25, 2007 by Rita G
	Changed Attitudes Can Lead to Recovery (Preview) Dear (((((Roomies)))), I never thought it was my attitude that might be the problem... Growing up in A-home, I learned to really use my brain to try to figure out the situation--I was a smart kid and I read a lot of self-help as a kid trying to figure out how to help us all. The pattern I had was to read, read,...	BlueCloud	4	469	Apr 25, 2007 by TLM
	once i got busy, i got better letting go also got easier. (Preview) once i got my self busy.... it became easier for me to Let Go and Let God. Felt better too as I learned in how to Let things Go. i can choose to begin the minute i realize (begin the steps to turn it over) and move forward from there. Always. i can choose to get into the right frame of mind. HP ca...	aunitedway	5	806	Apr 25, 2007 by tea2
	getting sucked back into it!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I thought my life was going forward when i kicked him out. we are in contact on a daily basis, partly coz we miss eachother and partly coz i want to hear his voice, coz when i hear him i know if he has been drinking or not. He tells me he isnt drinking and he knows he is to stay sober if we are going to ever try "...	arty	5	453	Apr 25, 2007 by Christy
	New here (Preview) Well maybe not "new". I've been lurking for about a month and have learned a lot and want to thank you all for helping me to realize that I'm not the only one living with an alcoholic and feeling what I'm feeling. My stories closely match all your stories and the similarity is scary sometime...	DelilahJones	6	371	Apr 25, 2007 by DelilahJones
	Always follow your gut instinct (Preview) Low and behold, I was right!! Found out today that my ex broke up with me because he met someone else. I didnt ask many questions, because I was just happy to finally have a reason for him ending our relationship. I wish I had her email address though because she's gonna need the link to this message b...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	10	639	Apr 24, 2007 by Christy
	Still not talking (Preview) Hello to all. Thanks for everyone's advice this week. My problem is that it has been one week and I have still not talked to my A. I think men can deal with the not taking issue more than women. I have been upset with him over his actions last weekend. I have given it to God and my A friend said I should sta...	weggie	7	511	Apr 24, 2007 by eveolution
	Need some opinions (Preview) To give you a little background, my husband and I were asked last year to start an Alanon group at our church. At the time I told them that we could not be affiliated with the church, we would have to rent the room etc. Recently an AA meeting was started at the same church, same time as Al-Anon and both non s...	Mobirdie	6	485	Apr 24, 2007 by Christy
	Yikes another Friday (Preview) Well its Friday again (I hate Fridays) !!! Low and behold who calls me this morning? My ex A b/f. He blocked his number so I picked up. He was just calling to see how I was. Said he was worried because he hadn't heard from me. I have been avoiding him like the plague for a while, just to try to heal from al...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	7	500	Apr 24, 2007 by carolena
	Doing much better today, Thank you MIP (Preview) (((Friends))) Thank you so much for your posts yesterday it truly helped me to get through yesterday and some of you really made me laugh. Sometimes I get so angry and I just have to let it out before I explode. No explosions yesterday. I was pretty cold and distant to my AH on the phone, but in the eveni...	twinmom2	8	491	Apr 24, 2007 by carolena
	not sure (Preview) I keep going back and forth with this, but I don't think I want to be married to my AH anymore. I don't even think I love him. And I don't think that it all has to do with his drinking. I feel so pathetic. I was almost relieved that he finally admitted he was an A, and admitted other things that happened bec...	minnie	10	471	Apr 24, 2007 by DelilahJones
	Legal issues . . . where to start? (Preview) I hope this is OK, it's not a legal forum. I'm having trouble with finding out where to start. I will seek out a lawyer BUT want to be educated first. My A and I are not legally married. We've been together cohabitating since 6/00. We did not get married then b/c he was (is) still married to his first wif...	Kim65	8	623	Apr 24, 2007 by Kim65
	Babystep Boundaries (Preview) Dear ((((Roomies)))), The simplest way I have thought to discover and enforce my boundaries is from a desire to care and nurture myself. I have started to notice things like: what interrupts my sleep, what conversation topics leave me feeling depleted, when do I stop eating food that is good for me, w...	BlueCloud	3	587	Apr 24, 2007 by Rita G
	My worst day yet. When is this gonna get better (Preview) Do you ever get into a mood where you just dont want to be around anyone and all you're up to is spending the entire day in bed? Sulking and feeling sorry for yourself? That was my day today. I cant understand why I have such ups and downs. Why cant their be a balance? Why cant I detach from him? Why is th...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	8	1270	Apr 24, 2007 by JulieLynn
	Miracles can take many forms... (Preview) Hi all.... In a bit of a reflective mood today, and once again reminded that life doesn't always go according to MY plan, but that there are miracles still happening around us, even if they are not how we envisioned them. Last night, I dropped my kids off at their Mom's 5-year cake celebration, which is...	canadianguy	5	557	Apr 24, 2007 by Diva
	knowing the cycle (Preview) right now the A is in his get back into gear mode. That is usually the time he is nice to me. Of course starved as I am I usually jump at it. Everything in his life is a huge secret, a huge intrigue. This time I am not intriuged. He pulls me in so many different ways. I am intrigued by his crisis, secrecy and dram...	maresie2	7	398	Apr 24, 2007 by Maria123
	Can;t get myself back on track (Preview) Hello to all and here is my delima. I have posted that my A messed up again and I can't seem to pull myself up. Last week he was cited for drunk and disorderly in a public place. His friend was brought into the situation and my A was embarrased. Anyway,,I know I have to forgive and I have because he has a di...	weggie	3	592	Apr 24, 2007 by Maria123
	A walk thru anger (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I am a very grateful member of al-anon. Over the last few months anger has consumed my life, a rage within me that even I couldnt seem to control. This just isn't me...I can get angry, but this was so different. It was all consuming. When I look back I see that it started when my father...	Lunamoth	5	482	Apr 24, 2007 by Maria123
	Bubbles will be in calif (Preview) Hi ((((((((everyone)))))) My hubby and I will be in Cailf in May and I was wondering if anyone would like to meet us hafe way at a resturant or something.. I am going to be visiting Trina in in Yosemity..... Anyways please PM if you are interested!!!! Bubbles123	bubbles1990	3	426	Apr 24, 2007 by Maria123
	Do I mean what I say? Or am I just trying to control my situation? (Preview) So many times I've made decisions regarding my A or any other situation in my life that in hind's sight, the outcome was not my intention. For instance, for years I lived with my A and put up with his active disease until I couldn't take it anymore and then I would explode, throw him out...wait a few weeks,...	newday	3	369	Apr 24, 2007 by Maria123
	denial in the air (Preview) I work in an adult college. Last week a student (in her 50's who I've smelled alcohol from on occasion) came a bit late to class. Class begins at 9.30am. She again smelled of alcohol, but had been trying to disguise it. the tutor found her very negative and dragged the class down. She had no concentration...	annmarie	2	443	Apr 24, 2007 by mel123
	What's best for someone else. (Preview) First, I'd like to say thanks to everyone who has been so supportive. You're right, thinking of myself as the base that everyone else can lean on is bound to fail - I'll collapse, and no one will be well off. It's not accurate anyway - already there are indications that MY ideas of what everybody needs,...	lin0606	6	330	Apr 23, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Today (Preview) I went to my first meeting last night. I was scared - terrified in fact. My A knew I was going - she was so proud of me. Everyone at the meeting was so warm and wonderful, I sat like a rabbit caught in the headlights. But, at the end of the meeting, a lovely lady (M) handed me her phone number and told me to call he...	englishrose	4	416	Apr 23, 2007 by lin0606
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.