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a carolinagirl where are you only.
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I know you are having a tough time, yet learning and progressing. how are you and the kiddos??? love,debilyn
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debilyn
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280
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My worst fears
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When I was contemplating leaving the A more than two years ago just before I came into Al anon my worst fear was what I am doing now. I felt that I would be going backwards living on my own, trying to squeeze my belongings into a small space, sharing and thought it would be hell. The issue for me of course it i...
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maresie2
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5
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to John
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Since I read all this rubbish about allegations against John, I have been very upset. Since I came her a year ago I have gotton so much help and much needed understanding from this board. If it wasn't for this help I would be in a bad state by now. It has helped me through so much, and aided me in my recovery....
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annmarie
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0
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399
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Letting go and Letting God
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Letting GoTo "let go" does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone else.To "let go" is not to cut myself off. It's the realization that I can't control another.To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. ...
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java
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5
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855
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The denial cloud is lifting...and is that...sanity?!
(Preview)
I have been praying recently for God to relieve me of my insanity. To grant me the freedom that serenity and that the program offers. That comes with sanity. I've gotten tired of being angry, I said. I've gotten tired of being on the defense, of creating senarios for what my Mom "will most likel...
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Tiger2006
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3
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456
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Where I am at right now!
(Preview)
For weeks now my Ah has been distant and cold towrads me, I have tried to carry on and not let it get to me but in the end it always does, I have tried on many accasions to ask what was wrong, but he won't say, he doesn't talk to me about anything, I want closure it's killing me, living with this day after day, he t...
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Katy
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8
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Projection
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I started to talking to an old b/f... met him 3-4 yrs ago, after a few months freaked out w/ the situation as he is alcoholic, work-a-holic & has a dead marriage. I freaked out over being the home wrecker, the other woman, so I ended it. Last year was with him a scant 2 months. We did drink bottles of w...
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kitty
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4
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The cracked pot
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THE CRACKED POT An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung onthe ends of a p which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot ar...
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carosie
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Believe in Yourself
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"BELIEVE IN YOURSELF" I came across this poem the other day and thought wow! I wanted to share it with you and some of my thoughts. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND IN YOUR DREAM THOUGH IMPOSSIBLE THINGS MAY SEEM. SOMDAY, SOMEHOW YOU'LL GET THROUGH TO THE GOAL YOU HAVE IN VIEW. MOUNTAINS FALL AND SEAS...
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java
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Lunch with my ex A b/f's mom
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OK, I made arrangments to have lunch with my ex Á b/f's mom (her and I were and are very close despite her son breaking up with me) What a fabulous time I had!! Our lunch lasted almost 4 hours. We talked and talked and talked. She is by far one of the sweetest women I have ever met. It just amazes me that m...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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allys pic in france
(Preview)
trying to see if this will work on attachments of files -- Edited by belle1 at 17:10, 2007-04-24 -- Edited by belle1 at 17:21, 2007-04-24 -- Edited by belle1 at 17:25, 2007-04-24
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belle1
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What A Difference A Year Makes
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I just went back and read all of my posts from the past year. Seems to me I was healthier last year than I am at this moment. I'm thinking that I had so much time to talk with my dad about life and what's important. Things felt so much clearer to me then. In this past year, letting my ex ah back into my life real...
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serendipity
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update
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Thank you all for your prayers about jobs. I am still waiting to hear on one particular job that would help me out a great deal. If had that job I could make it out of the debt that's been generated by having to move. Right now I am going to have to go back to working minimum wage. I have not had good experien...
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maresie2
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Going out of town
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I will out of town for a few days and won't have access to you all. I will be back Friday afternoon and will catch up with eveyone then. Have a great week!!!! Lots of love
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ShelBell
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hard to stay positive
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I now have to go to court on Wednesday despite the fact I have moved out and been gone from the flat/apartment for 6 weeks. I have to do that in order to protect my credit/record in ever being able to rent again. Needless to say the A has not left the apartment yet. He's moved some of his stuff but not all of...
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maresie2
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Thank you for caring
(Preview)
I'm new to your site & have been reading your posts for about a week. I think I reached the end of my rope about a week ago & just reading your posts to each other & your kindness & caring has helped more than you can know. I got the phone #s of 2 alanon groups in my area & am going to call tom...
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hopefully
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10
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Putting it in the hand of HP and the good doctors
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(((((((Family)))), Good morning my sweet family. Well tomorrow is hubby's surgery. The closer it gets, the harder I have to try not to get uptight. I have to turn him over to the very good doctors and HP. Like the night I told him to leave when he was drinking I have to detach a bit. Hard not to know wha...
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Karilynn
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17
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SIL Coming to Stay
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My AH, who happens (thank HP) to be sober for the time being, is on his way to PA to pick up his sister. Yesterday she passed out drunk while home alone with her 15 mo. old daughter. When her husband called the police to find out what he should do they came to the house. She called this morning asking for help....
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babysteps
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4
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One way to deal with addict kids
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I think that is the wrong title, because this post is about ways to NOT have an addicted kid. Of course it in not foolproof, but each person that has tried it has been succesful with it. I can't take credit for it since my parents invented it, my siblings and I just followed their training that we knew work...
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Alanoner
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25
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to twinmom...
(Preview)
(((((((Twinmom))))))) I just read your post from several days ago regarding your sons' birthday and your feelings towards your A and that situation . Sorry this is late, but here's a hug from me to ((((((((((you))))))))))! I hope your days have been better since then! Hang in there ~ I've been th...
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lmt123
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306
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HOPE!!
(Preview)
Today I am in a good place and I should share so that someone else can find hope in my situation. My husband got released from rehab on Saturday morning. He has been to 5 meetings in 2 days. I am so proud of him. I am so hopeful. He is surrounding himself with people in the program. Today he is going to outpatie...
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cac
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2
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381
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Higher Powers imagination
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These pictures were taken by a friend of mine when we went for a walk one day. I was thinking as I was doing my homework about all the possibilites that HP can create or has in store for us. Many things beyond our own limited imagination. Hp created this bird, something in my own limited imagination I would...
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bob6502
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6
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771
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Faith
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Being in Al-Anon has taught me a lot about faith. I have learned to rely on my HP to guide me, and to lead me in this life down the path that was set out before me. The path has been slowly appearing for me out of the fog of daily drama. And as I continue to walk it, I have been facing roadblocks. Some knock me down...
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stillkickin
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Got to open a couple of those presents!
(Preview)
Howdy (((((((yall)))))))) For all of those who responded to my "Patience Grasshopper" post thanks. You folks are the best. When I went to bed after I posted that on Friday night, I decided to get up the next morning and head into a meeting in San Antonio. No meetings where I am on Saturda...
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david62
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5
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565
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Butterflies & Bicycles
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Went for a ride on my Bicycle Today. Wonderful Ride. i will be feeling it tomorrow. lol. I DO want to say tooo ... i have enjoyed every burn I felt in my muscles and every bit of its been a joy. Ladies bike no speed dials..... just a set of good peddle brakes. nothing fancy. Definitely meet my needs. ...
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aunitedway
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6
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hurray the test is over
(Preview)
Thanks for all the well wishes and thoughts! The spinal tap was not as bad as what I was imagining, I'm glad i faced it and hope it helps them figure this out. A couple days of laying flat and moving slow to avoid the headache getting worse and I should be as good as new. My doc made a comment beforehand that I m...
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Jennifer
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Anyone get this look from their mother? Anyone?
(Preview)
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Tiger2006
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7
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Anger and Hate
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There have been a few posts this week about anger and rather than reply on each thread, I thought I would start a new one. I have worked to deal with my anger towards my A and a lot of it has subsided, but I still harbor some resentment. So I was just listening to a speaker cd as I was driving today and I heard s...
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ShelBell
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5
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462
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I know this is an Alanon forum but . . .
(Preview)
I'M A GRANDMA !! Fandango (Fanny) and Ariel were born at 4:30pm today in perfect health, and with no help from me whatsoever (OK, I helped dry them off and tugged one of Ariel's feet on the way out as she was coming breech). They are nursing on Mama and staggering all over. They are BOTH girls, which is a...
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Kim65
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15
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817
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Fighting a Losing Battle
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I started a new job over a month ago. Things at my new job did not feel right. There was something wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then I started noticing things. My boss told me to write a report for one of our clients. He gave me half the information and told me he would give me the other half. I sche...
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kissers
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5
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694
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trust
(Preview)
As long as I maintained some level of denial I could go on trusting the A. I did that despite his actions. I did that despite car crashes, tickets galore, no money and lies galore. Then I came here and heard my story over and over and I couldn't maintainthe denial anymore. The sad thing and probably the mo...
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maresie2
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3
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337
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Healing Breaktrhough from a surprising source
(Preview)
Hello Friends, I just had to share with you a heartwarming moment with my grown up children. My first introduction to Alanon was in graduate school as a friend of mine and I went to the movies to see "Stuart Saves His Family" which is about a character in several twelve step programs and how it...
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Alanoner
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551
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BirThDaY Girl
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HaPpY BirThDaY Karilynn!!! With lots of love and wishes for today! PS. I recall you saying there are no calories in Birthday Cake
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tea2
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17
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477
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Patience Grasshopper!
(Preview)
Hi (((((Family))))) I wonder sometimes, when will I be through having to be patient. (I just saw my HP patiently shaking his head at me, I think He thinks it isn't nice to write to people while I am sitting on the pity pot! ) I was given the gift of a vision this last week. A vision meant to help me to be patie...
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david62
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8
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558
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A tough view
(Preview)
Yet another incident to accept. Last night I was walking around town with my umbrella in the rain, shopping before my nail appointment. It was so peaceful. Doing something for me! Well I got my nails done, got my toes done. On my way out of the nail salon, who do I see. My ex A b/f. He was standing in f...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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10
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SHADS IS THE BIRTHDAY GIRL.....
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SHADOW IS CELEBRATING HER BIRTHDAY TODAY (SAT) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO "MY MATE" HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...... Have a brilliant day hen....Wish I was with you... Love "your mate" Ally
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ally
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1121
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NEED SOME COURAGE...LOL
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))) Can you all keep your fingers, legs, eye's, toes, and anything else you can cross......lol My new f2f meeting starts tomorrow night...Sat night.....I am feeling excited, nervous a wee bit....also proud of me... I am running it, and I feel good....arggg...
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ally
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388
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Being lonely vs. being alone
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In reading some other posts...this phrase hit me and I decided to write it out to see how far I've come. "Being lonely vs. Being alone" After being married to an alcoholic for 17 years, I understand how you can 'be with' someone and yet still feel lonely. It took me a long time to grasp that c...
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diamond
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7
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637
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Moved the TV....
(Preview)
Hi Alanoners, I think it was in one of the Getting Them Sober books that said moving the furniture has nothing to do with your marriage. We are afraid to move the furniture around thinking that means that the marriage is over. So, I have waited 2 years afraid that if I moved the furniture then my AHsober wo...
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nmike
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3
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437
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Through A Child's Eyes
(Preview)
I sooooooooo needed this email today and I hope it will make you smile and laugh out loud as it did me. ~Maria
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Maria123
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295
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New Comers Meeting
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Newcomers meeting Tonight at 7pm est. Hope to see you there! kerry
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kerry5
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350
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nightmares
(Preview)
i tried to make this stupid font bigger.... Ok ever since the AH was in that store with the not nice woman, and was mean to me, I have awful nightmares about him. Last one he was killing my loved ones in horrible ways. He would not hurt me becuz he loved me too much...?? i wake up feeling so hurt, broken dessim...
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debilyn
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Anniversary Meeting @ Legacy AA Group
(Preview)
Sunday, 4/30 at 1:00 pm I will be sharing my story of recovery at the Legacy AA Group Anniversary Meeting, in Pasadena TX (near Houston). My dear MIP family, please keep me in your thoughts & prayers that I will as always share the message of HOPE that can be found in Al-Anon regardless of the situ...
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Rita G
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6
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604
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Spoke to the lawyer and . . .
(Preview)
there's actually something that can be DONE!! My greatest fear (and not a realistic one, apparently) was that I was just screwed and deserved to lose everything because I was stupid and careless enough to put in with a person like my A. The negativity of that way of thinking is obvious now. I get caugh...
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Kim65
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6
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457
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SPIRITUAL AWAKENING WITHIN AL-ANON
(Preview)
(((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))) I'm back.... I had a wonderful holiday.....It was a pilgrimage to Lourdes. I'm not really a religious person. I am a catholic, and I guess I have been trying to find the God of my understanding for my 3rd step.....And going on this holiday has been amazing for me. I h...
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ally
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I miss you all
(Preview)
Hello Everyone, Thanks to a program designed to make this webpage the size of a billboard LOL I can visit once in a while during my 30 day trial. Along with the cool stickers for my keyboard that allow me to see what buttons I am pushing. I wish I could manage to get thru more of the posts,I have not found anyt...
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Jennifer
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I'm sure any of us that survived Catholic school can comiserate...
(Preview)
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Tiger2006
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1047
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My denial cloud continues to lift...
(Preview)
Negativity Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns. Negative energy ca...
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Tiger2006
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3
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478
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New here, and glad to be here
(Preview)
Hi, my name is Allison, and im new here, i started going to the al anon group meetings not too long ago and found it to be a haven, and the only thing that kept my sanity. Before, i was a total enabler, picking up my mothers peices, putting her to bed, taking her keys, listening and believing her sob stories...
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AllisonNurse
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7
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667
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helping children understand
(Preview)
Hi I am new here, I won't go through my long story I'm sure you all have heard it before. What I need help with is my kids, I have 1 that is acting out and 1 that holds it all in, I have been sober for 11 years and my husband went down hill 2 years ago, I want to leave but where do I go? but then he dangles that carrot i...
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pinky
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5
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459
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scared but strong
(Preview)
Tomorrow my A boyfriend has a race.. I'm going alone.. I haven't talk to him so I don't know if he will be there.. I love the races so I don't want to miss it.. I am being strong while we are seperated but I'm scared to see him.. We have lived together for a year and I made him move out 3 days ago because he isn't w...
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steppgirl
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4
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497
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Taking care of everyone
(Preview)
I think I have come a long way since first finding this board. I remember when I first moved out I thought my life was over, he was my life and I couldn't imagine it without him. I lost more than 1/2 the family income and had no idea how I would support three kids on my own. Here it is eight months later and I...
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carolinagirl
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5
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565
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Taking a Big Giant Step Back
(Preview)
Not exactly a step back, but stepping back from my AH. I have some extreme abandonment issues...this has caused me to hold too tightly to my AH. This past week, when we went for a week without talking, touching, or anything, I decided I was really going to have to change myself. So, I am distancing mys...
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Becky1
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6
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686
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A bit of humor
(Preview)
My sober AH sent me this joke in an email this morning. I'm glad he can find humor in his disease, I hope y'all can too. I thought it was way funny. A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standin...
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Christy
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10
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652
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I need help with anger
(Preview)
Hi everyone, Can anyone suggest efective ways to deal with anger, or books on the subject. I seem to be being tested on this lately. thanks AM
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annmarie
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10
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543
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Found Husband - Update...
(Preview)
Just to catch anyone up, I got an email from my mother in law last Wed. saying my husband had been in a horrible car accident, punctured a lung etc. and was in the hospital somewhere but she didn't know where. Also, he had told her that he didn't want me to know. Finally, she got worried after not hearing f...
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carolinagirl
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592
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Step 1
(Preview)
Yesterday I did some good work with Step 1 I admit that I am powerless over my husbands addiction and that my life has become unmanageable.
I cannot control my husband.
I cannot control what will happen when he comes home.
I cannot control whether or not he drinks.
I can control myself.
I...
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cac
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2
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326
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Am I truly supposed to have no friends?
(Preview)
I have this best friend,we have been close on and off from middle school. But she went one way and I went another. I started a family with my a. I had what she wanted. But her life was good,traveling,following her dreams. She has always been one of those girl bitches, do you know what iI mean? But she loves m...
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serendipity
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6
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589
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Looking for advice/help or anything...(new here)
(Preview)
I am livid, hurt, dissapointed and a whole gammet of emotions right now. And I am trying to work at my job with all of this going through my head. I have been married to the same guy for 7 yrs, together for a total of 10 yrs. and we have a 3yr. old son. I have been saying to him for a long time that I think his dri...
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aisling_29
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Am I ready for sobriety?????
(Preview)
((((((((Family))))), I take no credit for this post. Abbyal posted this about a year ago, and it was a saving grace to me. I asked her if I could repost it. She graciously consented. Thank you Abbyal. You rock! When someone asked me that question many years ago, I though she was nuts, and said what ki...
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Karilynn
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