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It's called the Imposter Syndrome!
(Preview)
I tried to describe it in the meeting, and couldn't. It was the feeling like you're a fraud, and any minute now, "they're gonna find you out." That you're not that talented, not that smart, not that good, not enough in any way shape and form. And yup, you're gonna agree, all evidence to the co...
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Tiger2006
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5
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899
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and infidelity too...
(Preview)
I am new to this board and have attended f2f meetings for about 2 months now, but I haven't had to courage to talk about this aspect in that setting. From what I have read, infidelity is not an uncommon issue with the A. The woman my AH had an affair with is also is an A and his relationship with her was absol...
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Loupiness
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13
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2363
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What movie clip represents you? Monty python and the holy grail
(Preview)
Rainy Jaime's post got me thinking about youtube clips and which one would fit me. Mine would have to be the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I am the knight who gets all his limbs severed and keeps going back for more..."tis just a flesh wound" What would yours be????
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confused
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6
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511
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GOSSIP
(Preview)
((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))))) I saw this on another board, and It really struck a chord with me..I thought I would share it with you. One junior high school boy confided in another his love for a certain girl. The first boy asked the second one to keep his secret. By the end of the school day, the r...
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ally
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3
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440
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I don't love him anymore...
(Preview)
I have been going over and over in my mind about something that I have to get out atleast in writing so I can maybe muddle through it better. Also, recieving some ESH would be great. My AH has been sober since the middle of Feb. I am very proud and happy for him for doing this for himself. He is working a gre...
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melamom815
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6
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713
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I Don't Care Attitude
(Preview)
After being through a few relationships with A's and facing my lonlieness, I have detached so much that I can go weeks without seeing someone I am dating. It feels like my heart has turned to stone. I feel like I just don't care anymore. A man I was recently dating called me and said he couldn't date me anym...
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kissers
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7
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688
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More on More on Dry Drunks
(Preview)
"Part of my A's program was to not lie. To face truths and conflict. When he did, he realized it was not as bad as he had always thought." -debilyn RE: More on Dry Drunks Goodness gracious, just like I say it in my dreams. The problem is not the specifically the alcohol, it's the parallel b...
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RainyJamie
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4
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811
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He signed the papers
(Preview)
My ex called me today after he was done with the lawyer. He signed the divorce papers that state he will be allowed supervised visitation. So, he called and said he is now ready to make arrangements with me to see the kids. I said nothing and just hung up. He acted as if nothing was wrong. As if his behavior...
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serendipity
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7
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595
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A still doesn't get it
(Preview)
and I really don't think he will for a long time. I've been really clear with him for the past 2 months about my feelings in this relationship and what I want. Last Friday I told him that on Tuesday I was giving our 30 day notice and moving with the kids and he'd have to find another place to live on his own. I...
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DelilahJones
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6
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480
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Bitterness!!
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I have been struggling with myself being angry at my husband. He hasn't done anything recently but I think I am bitter for all the past. He has said sorry in the heat of the moment but I didn't believe him. Now he is clean and going to meetings I think I need to hear him say he is sorry again. I...
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heather
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9
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737
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ESH ? living seperately from A
(Preview)
I've told my A that I'm giving 30 days notice to the landlord and I'm moving with the kids to my dad's house (he passed away in Oct and my sisters and I are going to co-own it and I will live there) and he needs to find a place to go. I don't think he still really "get's it" and probably won't till Ju...
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DelilahJones
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9
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592
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Confusion
(Preview)
Hello All I am a bit confused today. My AH stopped by to see the kids last night on the way to an AA meeting. I wasn't excited to see him. I was happy but not oveerly excited. I wasn't sad that he couldn't stay long. It was almost a relief when he left. I want him to come home when he isn't here. I miss him. But aft...
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janey225
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4
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739
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Ingrown eyeballs
(Preview)
You may be wondering, what in the world is ingrown eyeballs. I have to tell ya, I just heard about this one yesterday! Think about an ingrown nail. Your nail is supposed to grow out and straight. When it grows inward, wrapped and backwards, it starts to hurt. It is tender, and doesn't feel very good a...
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smpoli
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7
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668
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Gads MARISIE, Mary where are you??
(Preview)
Lady please respond I am very concerned. I know you have no one in the USA to help you. Please please..... love,debilyn
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debilyn
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2
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333
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Dealing with FamilyCut-Offs/Silent Treatment
(Preview)
Dear Roomies, I could really use some ES&H on family cut-offs and silent treatments. My parents had a messy divorce and when my Afather began threatening her, my mother cut all contact with him. As a result, my siblings and I didn't have contact with him either. Then, seven years ago my brother sea...
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BlueCloud
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7
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635
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The next time your kids tell you NO!
(Preview)
"I didn't see it coming, but I sure felt it roll over my head. It feels really strange to have a truck run over your head." Ryan Lipscomb, a graduate student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, on being hit by a delivery truck after he fell from his bike. Lipscomb, who wore a helmet, suffe...
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Tiger2006
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3
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431
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a great analogy for letting go...
(Preview)
Hello fellow (((((Alanons))))) Yesterday I was channel surfing and I stopped on a program where a motivational speaker was speaking.It was near the end of the program and he said something that has stayed with me. He said " let go or be dragged" I started thinking about this.I got a visual i...
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drucilla06
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5
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4017
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Difficult Days :(
(Preview)
I was doing so good then CRASH-BAM-BOOM !! Now, I am so sad !! I wanted so desperately for things to work out but it just isnt going to .. He is living about 10 minutes from our home and I just cant stop thinking about who he is with and what he is doing.. None of which I can control and I know that. Unfortunate...
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Tammy
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5
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492
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First f2f
(Preview)
I finally went to my first f2f meeting. There were torential rain downpooring, I am not a good driver, don't know my way around exept to work, my daughters school, and her job. The route to meeting same as route to work, great eh? WRONG,,,,,,,,,, traffic was blocked, there was an accident, so had to find...
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Eve Eve Eve
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8
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528
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witdrawl symtoms of cocaine?
(Preview)
Hi everyone, it's been a little while since I wrote, things are looking up, but there is only one thing, my son will be moving out with his grand mother, I need to know was are the symtoms of witdrawl from cocaine? I need an answer as soon as possible, so I can do damage control before it starts, thanks, an...
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andrea
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6
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2094
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Alternatives to HP
(Preview)
If a person is not particularly spiritual, has trouble with faith or is not comfortable with spirituality, what would they use as a HP?
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sash
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11
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611
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More on Dry Drunks
(Preview)
Hello, I guess parts of me will always be in denial. My husband has been sober six years. Thank God. And I do thank God for his sobriety. He has no program. I don't know how many meetings he went to. He said the only time he thinks about beer is when he went to meetings because that is what...
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Idealsummerluv
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9
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578
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How do you let go of your anger?
(Preview)
Sometimes the anger within me is too much for me to bare alone. I get angry at the fact my husband became an A, left and is drinking his life away with another A. I get angry when I think of what "could have been", the promises and the dreams we talked about, and he just continued to drink. When I ge...
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gardengal
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7
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1087
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dealing with A's black moods
(Preview)
At present A is living with me after being ill in January, no he has not moved back home yet. My eldest son is coming home in two weeks from college and he will probably, hopefully move back home to his own place then which is in an awful state, no I have not gone there and cleaned it up. I have a lot of work at pre...
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maire rua
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3
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453
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The Simple Truths of Service
(Preview)
I want to make a difference and so I share this: http://www.stservicemovie.com/ Copy and paste into a new window. love in recovery, Maria
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Maria123
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1
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369
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Handling the behaviors and attitudes
(Preview)
For a while now I have been struggling woth how to deal with the behaviors and attitudes of my addict husband. Let me begin at the beginning.... We have been married for 18 years, have two sons and he has been an addict all this time. Although I didn't know he did " crack cocaine" until we had bee...
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Karaokejacky
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6
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565
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2 weeks and life changes
(Preview)
Hi friends, Well, life is a challenge. Everything was kinda of ok but 2 weeks ago things changed. My mother's intuition told me to go visit my son in the military. His dad agreed to go with me and we agreed to focus on our son and not let our current relationship get in the way. We found him in a much differe...
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nmike
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3
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378
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Dealing with anger or stress management
(Preview)
((((((Friends)))))) I have noticed a few posts on anger in the past while. This is my anger management technique. I really use it and for me it really works. I had to laugh when I was that it came with "steps". Can't seem to get away from the dang things Enjoy all, lilms Subject: Stress Man...
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lilms
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4
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652
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Do I let her go?
(Preview)
I am stuggling on how to handle something and could use a little input from anyone who feels they could help. Here is my dilemma: My step daughter has asked to take my 14 year old to a rock concert. The reason I have reservation about this is because I am angry with my step daughter right now. My AH (her f...
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Denoraphy
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10
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642
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Help with "runtime" error message....
(Preview)
deb need help hen i cant write anything on the board it keeps telling me a runtime error and shuts down both message bboard and chat any ideas? I got this pm from Belle1. I don't know how to help. I researched it and told her where to look on the internet. does anyone know for sure? She is in Scotland and need...
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debilyn
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1
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301
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ESH about finances, again?
(Preview)
This could get confusing but I am sick with anger and have to get it off my chest. My AH and I own a small business publishing a regional interest magazine. The deal was that I would do all of the editorial work (writing, graphic design, etc), and office/accounting work, take care of the house, and be a sta...
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babysteps
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5
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652
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Help me with a silent dry drunk
(Preview)
Well, my A has been dry for 5 weeks now. About 4 weeks ago he quit talking to me. I got scared and thought he was cheating, but I know better. He is not like that. He is 41 years old and has been drinking since he was 18. And for once he wants to quit, but has no program. He has been sleeping on the couch for four nig...
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heartless39470
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8
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1402
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I lit a candle for my mom who is not here today.......
(Preview)
I lit a candle for my mom, beside her picture, as she has been passed away now for over 8 years. I think of her almost everyday,, something triggers a memory in my daily life and I smile. Happy to have had the time on this earth to be with her, and like a flower in our master's garden she bloomed for many year...
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gardengal
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4
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445
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Do you ever feel like......
(Preview)
ya just don't feel? Or what you do feel is like you sorta have the flu, but don't. Ya have tears just ready to spill out and you are just holding them back? Ya don't feel like smiling or laughing? And it hits you how alone you feel, yet you appreciate big time what you have, however your zest or joy is not there...
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debilyn
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6
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739
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Sister-in-law hit by Drunk Driver
(Preview)
Please pray for my Sister-in-law Barbara - She drives a School bus & was hit this morning before 7 am by a drunk driver!!!! By God's Grace there were no children on the bus - (She drives a special needs bus) My brother-in-law is on his way to the hospital to find out if she is ok - they wouldn't give him an...
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Rita G
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21
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722
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Boundaries & Acceptance
(Preview)
In 2005 Fitone, a newbie, said this about boundaries: "Letting go: the thing is you can't make a person be what they don't want to be you can't make them do what they don't want to do, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. " I was looking up acceptence. About acceptance they...
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java
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7
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1059
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HAPPY, JOYOUS AND FREE
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))))) Things have really changed for me in the last few days. I would never have imagined in my wildest dreams, life could be this good. Why???Who knows... A few days ago, I had a whole lot of anger within me because of a situation in my life. I "Let" peop...
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ally
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4
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948
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A as plan B
(Preview)
I have a friend at work who has been sep. the same amt. of time as me and yesterday she told me she is moving back in with her husband. I was shocked and just froze for a minute but then got to thinking about my own situation. Her husband was a wife beater and seriously abusive, mine only abused himself real...
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carolinagirl
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6
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591
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Update on Sister in Law
(Preview)
Thanks so much for the support & prayers - our family really appreciates it. Barbara is still in the hospital recovering. She did finally start talking to her husband yesterday afternoon around 5:00 - tried to smile & make a few jokes. Still in a lot of pain. She is still under obser...
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Rita G
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6
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503
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Need Help Discerning Conversation
(Preview)
My boss recently told me that the account I was assigned to reported that they were very happy with me. I was very happy to hear this news. My boss said, It has nothing to do with you. It's only because different people like different people". I wasn't sure how to take this comment. I could understan...
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kissers
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7
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610
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vunerable manipulation
(Preview)
My ex texts me today "I need to see you" I do not respond. I call my lawyer and he says there is no reason for me to have to speak to him. Ok, good. I go on with my day....moving into the new house. He texts me again before I go to work"Please I need to see you" Again I do not respond, even th...
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serendipity
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8
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662
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how do i enjoy myself???
(Preview)
My A has been out of my house since january. It has been so quiet here...nice... He has been back in a.a for afew weeks now and seems to be going well. I have booked a holiday to the U.S (I'm in Australia) to visit my best friend whom i havent seen in 12 years and i'm going for a month! very excited, but worrie...
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arty
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9
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502
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Fighting for Peace and Serenity
(Preview)
(((MIP Friends))) I am realizing now just how precious my peace and serenity is and somedays I have to fight to keep it intact. Last night I met with a real estate agent to discuss putting my condo on the market. This is plan B finally coming into action. Everything was going well until AH walks in the d...
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twinmom2
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7
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605
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Something for laughs...
(Preview)
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Tiger2006
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2
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500
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Am I stupid???
(Preview)
My husband went to rehab 3 weeks ago - he said he was sick and tired of drinking. Why do I not fully believe him?? He has been drinking throughout our marriage of 22 years but last year he started drinking heavily. During the 1st weekend while he was at rehab my 2 older children and I went to their family pr...
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CriedOut2
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13
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732
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how do you protect yourself from yourself?
(Preview)
As soon as I wake up, he is on my mind. My ex and who he is with. The adrenline rushes and I am AWAKE! How can I stop this being the very first thing that pops into my mind? It fades over the day as I get a grip and am able to work this program, use the suggestions and slogans. I feel like I have no control over my min...
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serendipity
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17
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641
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Peaceful Evening
(Preview)
All, I went back to the "how alanon works for families and friends of A" page 36, "sharing" and was reminded how I need to share both my pain my ESH. For a long time, I felt like I had no ESH, especially with alcohol. I would like to share about my many months of pondering, analyzing...
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renah
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1
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400
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Why can't he leave me alone?
(Preview)
Hi, After so many years of putting up with AH and his abuse and neglect. I am finally divorcing him. After so many years of being miserable I had finally been happy and relieved. I had reconnected with a wonderful man from my past, who treats me so well and makes me happy. Of course as usual the other shoe ha...
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Jeannie
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8
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651
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Feeling BLAH....
(Preview)
Lately I have been feeling confused about what I need to do to make a better life for my kids and I, confused by the choices that need to be made and all of them are difficult. If I don't go back to school we don't make it, if I do go back to school I have to continue working while I take prerequisites and my olde...
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carolinagirl
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3
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353
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It Worked!!
(Preview)
Thank you all for all of the great suggestions on my post yesterday. They were all so helpful and just to see in black and white that I am not the only person to ever go thru this or feel this way. That there are things I can do to help myself. I am going to print that post and replies out so I can continue to use t...
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serendipity
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2
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354
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cops again
(Preview)
Well my A b/f got out of jail @ 1 today. I didn't bail him out or even answer his 50 calls from jail. I was very proud of myself! He called and said that he was coming over to get his stuff out.. he showed up drunk. I was nice to him until his attitude kicked in. I got the kids out and left him alone! He called his x w...
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steppgirl
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5
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468
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Looking for Blue Eyes: to MalCN
(Preview)
Looking for Blue Eyes by Crystal Gayle: "I'm looking for blue eyes, I can't seem to find him, he 's been away now, for so long..." (probably my interpretation....does anybody know the real lines to this song...can't get it out of my head...") My first A husband and I married at a very y...
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java
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1
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519
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Update on my son, Bryon
(Preview)
For my MIP family, I just wanted to give you all an update! Bryon had is final port removal surgery and is recoverying very well! We are almost done w/monthly visits and then will be moving on to quarterly visits. I am SO excited! I was able to get some pic's of his pre and post surgery, so if you would li...
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smpoli
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5
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413
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Do I Belong Here?
(Preview)
My husband used to be a serious alcoholic, before we met, and alcoholism runs heavily in his family AND culture. He has slowed down a LOT...he drinks on a regular basis, but only a beer or two...but occassionally he gets drunk. Between his familys' history of alcoholism and his own compromised liver (...
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RoseChix
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7
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642
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Huge strides then BAM!!!!!!! So confused!!!
(Preview)
Just as I'm making huge strides in a positive direction, having fewer tough days-- BAM!! My A tries to come crawling back to me... begging me for my forgiveness and admitting that he made a mistake!! Telling me how much he misses and loves me... Asking me go to dinner... Telling me that I was th...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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7
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534
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help please
(Preview)
My A boyfriend, that lives with me, came home from AA drunk. He said that he didn't like what was said. He got angry with me cause I wouldn't talk to him cause he had been drinking. I told him to leave and he started packing a bag. Then he kept talking in front of my 15 yr old and his 5 yr old. I told him that I was ca...
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steppgirl
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3
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560
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THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING HERE...I WISH YOU WELL
(Preview)
(((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))) As you know the last few months have been horrendous for me.. And I have had to do some growing up....Now I have come to the conclusion, I need to put Ally first for a change..I have spent my whole life, being a caretaker, people pleaser, doormat, etc....I can no lo...
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ally
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5
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486
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just a thank you
(Preview)
The responses helped so much. I learned lots. After I read those and reposted the Eden happenings I felt lighter. Now feel even more so. Slowly the darkness is going away. I do see now that there are things I never may heal from. That what aism can do is damage us. All the more reason to use our alanon skills...
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debilyn
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2
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330
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Am I Here?
(Preview)
Am having a bad day & trying so hard to live the mantra "this too will pass". I have lived with my A for almost 14 years but don't know what to call him as we're not married & now he ignores me so I can't think of him as even a boyfriend the closest word I think is a roomate. He was so wonderful...
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hopefully
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4
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433
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Interview went well...
(Preview)
I made it to the interview alive today it was a 3 hour drive!! Everything went well although I'm still not sure if I will even take the job if offered. I am starting to feel sick again and thinking I feel sick more than well lately. I sent a letter to the A and it wasn't very nice but it wasn't really mean eit...
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carolinagirl
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1
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386
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