Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

java · java

I'm switching servers and that's always a pain. I 'm going back to my original one, so hopefully it won't take that long. I also am having some computer problems that I may have to take it in for, so If you miss me, that's why, but I'll be back soon. Java, (a.k.a. Overcome in chat)

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone)))))) Had a good weekend full of sports with our son. My wife came along and enjoyed herself, but was drinking when we left and drank each night we were gone. At least she was in a good mood for the trip. As has happened in the past, our good weekends are like a sugar high... it gets you all u...

lilms · lilms

((((((MIP FAMILY)))))) I have just realized that I have posted over 300 times in a year. Didn't realize I talked so much. Why didn't any of ya'll tell me to zip it?????????? Now I am off to dreamland and will behave myself. lilms

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

found that they purposely dated people they knew they wouldn't be interested in having a relationship with and avoided ones they potentially would?

lilms · lilms

((((((((mods))))))))) WOW!!!! Go on vacation for a couple of days and you miss all kinds of stuff. Seriously, I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude and thanks for all of the work you all do for the benefit of this forum. I see that there are over 3000 registered users. Unfortunately, amongs...

bev · bev

hi all.havent posted in awhile,so i thought it was time to post.AH is doing very well,he is in treatment and has been for almost 4 months now.he just found out that he was and never was bi-polar{mistake of upstate ny}but he does have anger issue the same thing his dad had.and he is now on meds to control i...

Karaokejacky · Karaokejacky

At times I find myself over-reacting to the things that happen with my addict/ alcoholic husband. The things he says or doesn't say, the things he does, or doesn't do. When will I learn to "Let go and Let God" ? Last night at my home group Al-Anon meeting the topic was detatchment and I lear...

gardengal · gardengal

Living with an addict/alcoholic seriously affects our feelings of self worth. We constantly have guilt from thinking somehow, someway we are responsible for anothers addiction. This can lead us into thinking we dont have the ability to do anything right, and can develope into a real sense of sel...

albertarose · albertarose

Hello friends, I have not been on for awhile but have been reading a few post to try and figure out what my A's (hubby, and Stepdaughter) are doing. In May of 2006 my stepdaughter who has a drinking problem came to live with my hubby and myself with her little boy due to physical abuse she was getting from he...

maresie2 · maresie2

Last night I spoke to the Uncle that the A is supposed to be moving up to live near by. Apparently the A lies to everyone. He has pained this picture that he has everything under control and it is all a-ok. I told the Uncle the truth. He said that the A could of course stay up there but he hadn't asked and he...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, the first day of school went well, although a class I really needed was cancelled and I'm trying to pick it up online at any other community colege in the state at the moment so my timeline stays on track. Otherwise I feel confident I will do well in my other two classes and one of them opted to only me...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

(((Everyone))) Yesterday my f2f meeting was about courage, where do we get it and how do we "fill up" when we seem on empty. It was a great meeting. One person said it only cost them a dollar to fill up (our meeting contribution) which I thought was a really cool response. Alanon has given m...

Kim65 · Kim65

I've been rolling a post around in my mind for a few hours . . . I'm talking about the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. I am terrible at remembering entire plots but I remember the premise of the movie . . . the guy wakes up to the same day over and over and over again, at first fighting against it, trying...

phooey · phooey

My alcoholic husband goes through periods of the silent treatment. He does not touch me or talk to me. He spends most of his time when he is home in front of the TV. I try to give him a kiss when he leaves for work or when I get home for week and I always ask how his day went but it is really hard to be nice to him...

Demilas · Demilas

I let my A make me so mad that I threatened to move out, and now he is telling me to just get my stuff and leave now. Almost everything in the house is mine and would take a lot of people and a lot of work to move it all out. He says I have to get it all at once, because he won't let me back in the house. All was said w...

Tammy · Tammy

I feel like I am screaming inside... This past weekend was so emotional. My son graduated and I was so proud. I went nearly 2 weeks without seeing my husband and only speaking with him a couple of times only brief conversations. Then BAM- the graduation and he sat right next to me. I cried and cried mo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I decided I'm going to go for this master's program to make more money for the kids, a total change in careers and I have to take about a year of prerequisites to even apply. I started classes today on the prereqs. I haven't been to college in about 8 years and it's weird but already I have met new peop...

harmony · harmony

Hi Everyone, I am new here and have only attended one al-anon meeting about 11 years ago. I have been doing some reading on the three C's and am going to try to attend a meeting sometime this week. Anyway, I have been married to an alcoholic for 9 and a half years and my mother is an alcoholic who just got out o...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone)))))) So this morning I am sitting on my back poarch drinking some juice... (I don't do coffee) and I hear a squirel on the roof running around. That is not unusual because I have oak trees and they love the accorns. They like to hide them everywhere.... in my car, in the bar-b-que pit,...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

((((Roomies))) I posted this initially in response to Java's post on Wasted Time, but wanted to repost it here for thoughts, reflections, and responses. I shared last night at my F2F about fear and I have since felt some healing in this area for me. Here's the jist of my spiritual learning... Recently...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have someone who has offered to be my sponsor. Her AH became sober 17 yrs ago and never looked back. Thus, she hasn't been to Al-anon in a long time and is not sure how to sponsor, and I'm not sure how to work the program. Are there any "directions" so we can figure this out together? Thanks, L...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))))))))))))) I'm learning to detach, and omg, Im doing it...lol It's really weird, everyday I am seeing another defect the Recovering A in my life has...He is NOT perfect....This has taken me a long number of years to get here....I have detached from him, phsicall...

debilyn · debilyn

Where are you? What happened with your goats? How are you and kids and A? I miss hearing from you. Please do not disappear. I am hoping you are ok. love,debilyn

maresie2 · maresie2

The A is staill saying with the brother. He is at wits end over his behavior. He said he kicked him out but I thnk he has doen that in the past and the A still went back. I have no idea how or where he is living in the day. I can only imagine he is staying in the brother's room totally depressed and desperate a...

debilyn · debilyn

I want to ask everyone to post and update us! We are a HUGE family. I don't want anyone to feel they have fallen thru the cracks and think we don't care. It is hard when we cannot see each other. I wonder if we have a list of members nics... well that should be a question someone asks ME...oops... have to chec...

Gailey · Gailey

but...I don't. It is all out of my control. I was just talking to A son on the phone. He expressed that "if this is what life is all about I hope I don't live too many more years". Working in a career that he does not want to be in anymore (chef) but knows nothing else. Paying more child support tha...

pabell · pabell

I'm not even sure where to begin, or how, so much has happend... My husband is an alcoholic, he has been sober for 5 months. (this is the longest time ever in the last 22 years) When the kids were younger I thought I could handle it. I could do it all, cover things up, make things ok. I actually remember thin...

maresie2 · maresie2

he is now living in the truck with the two dogs. He has no money and no place to stay. When I heard this last night I just about collapsed. I had the feeling last time I saw him that the dogs were spending a lot of time in the truck. I had no idea they were staying there. What this means is (a) I can...

greta · greta

This was a meeting topic today at my ftf. What a great topic it was. What is esh? Why do we share only esh and not give advice? I was reminded of how I felt before I had children, that I felt when you had children acting up in a public place you should get them under control or leave. LOL the first time we we...

mama_nz · mama_nz

Hi, I know I should not be getting caught up in the whole 'has he been drinking' thing. But last weekend my ex came and picked me up in the morning and as we got out of the car I caught a waft, a familiar sort of fruity alcohol smell. I thought he had stopped and he said he had. Of course I know that it's very po...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello everyone! (((((((((MIP)))))))))) I haven't been posting for a while. I have been going thru so much, learning to be me again. and do what I want without having to answer to my A living with me. It is hard, and I hurt inside, but I have hope I will get thru this. I am sure you all realize that my A and I ar...

nycbt · nycbt

My husband has hep c, which has caused him to not be interested in me sexual. It is very hard to deal with that. I have a started to talk to another guy and give him interst by flirting with him, but not have sex with him. I like the attention the guy is giving me. My husband has told me that it is not me or my weigh...

babysteps · babysteps

A week ago Friday my AH opened his own checking account with the deal that he would get $50 per week for gas and extraneous expenses. We did this so he would stop taking $15-20 per day from our bill paying account. So we put $50 in the account the day we opened it (Friday), then Monday he said he would prefer t...

Demilas · Demilas

I let my A make me so mad that I threatened to move out, and now he is telling me to just get my stuff and leave now. Almost everything in the house is mine and would take a lot of people and a lot of work to move it all out. He says I have to get it all at once, because he won't let me back in the house. All was said w...

java · java

"There is no such thing as wasted time. It's just what we went through to get to where we are. Sometimes I look down the road at where I 've been and where I want to go. There is so much ahead for you and me. I ended up just where I was meant to be. Don't regret what's left behind. There are chances we must...

debilyn · debilyn

Our MIP alanon message board depends on our focus to be on alanon principles. If we feel hurt or don't agree with each other, the best thing to do is to pm and talk in an adult manner. Being open to talk it out. We all may be understood, or say something unintentionally. We are human. However, We do not attac...

maresie2 · maresie2

for 7 years I have been dealing with the A;s messes. I knew if I was ever to break away from him it would be an unholy mess. There is no quesition it is. I had to take off yesterday from my part time job to process documents. Now I have to do the same tonight. It costs me a fortune to fax, send stuff by courier an...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Friends))) Hope you all had a pleasant weekend. I was able to get some good work done in the condo and have some mommy time to myself. Today, got my back molar pulled, had to go to oral surgeon to get put under, apparently it was very nasty. Lately I'm just realizing that I'm meeting my needs by fu...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

How do you cut yourself some slack? How do you give youself a break? How do you show yourself love? I don't think it's news--at least not to me, it isn't, that I'm awfully unnecesarily hard on myself. So how do you? Or, do you, at all?

david62 · david62

Happy Sunday ((((family)))) Down here in Texas it is a beautiful day indeed! I have the windows opened up and can hear the lovely sounds of the doves cooing and the other birdies chirping. My friend Norbert the cat and I were just hanging out on my front porch enjoying the day. Me in my chair, him in my lap....

shadow1 · shadow1

Dealing with loss has been in my life lately. I have lost my alcoholic husband of 22 years to this terrible disease, I have lost a very good friend with a misunderstanding and now Im forced to deal with the death of my baby brother in law. While loosing my husband to this disease is a difficult thing to dea...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I thought of all the issues I keep struggling with, mostly financial, mostly related to Aism. I felt like I kept trying to block problems before they became huge but that that I was never going to be able to do it. This image came into my mind. I'm the Scrat, the acorn is my good thing. The water is all the pro...

Patches · Patches

I have a question about boundaries. After holding an intervention in the fall of 2005, my father went through an inpatient treatment program. He was doing pretty well, although he did not believe it necessary to follow up with an after-care program (AA). In any event, he has relapsed (no big su...

ditto · ditto

Hi Guys, I divorced my a husband almost a year ago. We weren't married very long and I haven't posted to this board in a little while, although I do read it. I have been pretty much alone this past year healing from the mental, verbal and physical abuse heaped on me by my a. Every so often a man will ask me ou...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, I broke down and did it. I spent the weekend with my ex A b/f. After much hesitation, I agreed to this because I needed closure once and for all. After all, thats all I've been wanting for months now. I went into the weekend with my guard up, at attention, more thank its ever been before!! The only '...

maresie2 · maresie2

When I lived with the A I was mostly numb and overwhelmed. That is how I dealt with it. I was also of course immensely depressed and sad and angry. I was always fighting with him over somethng. The other thing I was always doing of course was begging him, remonstrating and asking him to behave. He did t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I had a birthday party for my middle child Saturday (nobody showed up) and got a letter from my A in jail. I read it and while waiting for non-existent guests I wrote back the perfect letter. I was so angry after reading his letter which was full of whining and blaming and just plain bs. I was compelled t...

Kim65 · Kim65

Well, days. Several goats got into the chicken scratch and pigged out. My best milker (in my avatar) was dead this morning with an orphaned baby. Two others need constant care, there is goat diarrhea everywhere. Of course my A is off on a binge, not that he could have been helpful other than to run in...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Hard to believe it was a year ago that hubby was still drinking. A year ago I sent him packing because I could no longer live with an active alcoholic. It wasn't easy. I love my husband so much. But I was determined not to let him back until he had at least 90 days recovery under his be...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I tried to describe it in the meeting, and couldn't. It was the feeling like you're a fraud, and any minute now, "they're gonna find you out." That you're not that talented, not that smart, not that good, not enough in any way shape and form. And yup, you're gonna agree, all evidence to the co...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I am new to this board and have attended f2f meetings for about 2 months now, but I haven't had to courage to talk about this aspect in that setting. From what I have read, infidelity is not an uncommon issue with the A. The woman my AH had an affair with is also is an A and his relationship with her was absol...

confused · confused

Rainy Jaime's post got me thinking about youtube clips and which one would fit me. Mine would have to be the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I am the knight who gets all his limbs severed and keeps going back for more..."tis just a flesh wound" What would yours be????

ally · ally

((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))))) I saw this on another board, and It really struck a chord with me..I thought I would share it with you. One junior high school boy confided in another his love for a certain girl. The first boy asked the second one to keep his secret. By the end of the school day, the r...

melamom815 · melamom815

I have been going over and over in my mind about something that I have to get out atleast in writing so I can maybe muddle through it better. Also, recieving some ESH would be great. My AH has been sober since the middle of Feb. I am very proud and happy for him for doing this for himself. He is working a gre...

kissers · kissers

After being through a few relationships with A's and facing my lonlieness, I have detached so much that I can go weeks without seeing someone I am dating. It feels like my heart has turned to stone. I feel like I just don't care anymore. A man I was recently dating called me and said he couldn't date me anym...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

"Part of my A's program was to not lie. To face truths and conflict. When he did, he realized it was not as bad as he had always thought." -debilyn RE: More on Dry Drunks Goodness gracious, just like I say it in my dreams. The problem is not the specifically the alcohol, it's the parallel b...

serendipity · serendipity

My ex called me today after he was done with the lawyer. He signed the divorce papers that state he will be allowed supervised visitation. So, he called and said he is now ready to make arrangements with me to see the kids. I said nothing and just hung up. He acted as if nothing was wrong. As if his behavior...

DelilahJones · DelilahJones

and I really don't think he will for a long time. I've been really clear with him for the past 2 months about my feelings in this relationship and what I want. Last Friday I told him that on Tuesday I was giving our 30 day notice and moving with the kids and he'd have to find another place to live on his own. I...

heather · heather

Hi everyone, I have been struggling with myself being angry at my husband. He hasn't done anything recently but I think I am bitter for all the past. He has said sorry in the heat of the moment but I didn't believe him. Now he is clean and going to meetings I think I need to hear him say he is sorry again. I...

DelilahJones · DelilahJones

I've told my A that I'm giving 30 days notice to the landlord and I'm moving with the kids to my dad's house (he passed away in Oct and my sisters and I are going to co-own it and I will live there) and he needs to find a place to go. I don't think he still really "get's it" and probably won't till Ju...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Changing Servers may be gone for a while.... (Preview) I'm switching servers and that's always a pain. I 'm going back to my original one, so hopefully it won't take that long. I also am having some computer problems that I may have to take it in for, so If you miss me, that's why, but I'll be back soon. Java, (a.k.a. Overcome in chat)	java	3	344	May 25, 2007 by Maria123
	Do you miss anything about me? (Preview) (((((Everyone)))))) Had a good weekend full of sports with our son. My wife came along and enjoyed herself, but was drinking when we left and drank each night we were gone. At least she was in a good mood for the trip. As has happened in the past, our good weekends are like a sugar high... it gets you all u...	rtexas	7	778	May 25, 2007 by Karilynn
	WOW (Preview) ((((((MIP FAMILY)))))) I have just realized that I have posted over 300 times in a year. Didn't realize I talked so much. Why didn't any of ya'll tell me to zip it?????????? Now I am off to dreamland and will behave myself. lilms	lilms	3	349	May 25, 2007 by Rita G
	Has anyone ever.... (Preview) found that they purposely dated people they knew they wouldn't be interested in having a relationship with and avoided ones they potentially would?	carolinagirl	4	409	May 25, 2007 by Rita G
	cindy, debilyn, tea2 and John (Preview) ((((((((mods))))))))) WOW!!!! Go on vacation for a couple of days and you miss all kinds of stuff. Seriously, I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude and thanks for all of the work you all do for the benefit of this forum. I see that there are over 3000 registered users. Unfortunately, amongs...	lilms	2	494	May 25, 2007 by carolena
	things are getting better (Preview) hi all.havent posted in awhile,so i thought it was time to post.AH is doing very well,he is in treatment and has been for almost 4 months now.he just found out that he was and never was bi-polar{mistake of upstate ny}but he does have anger issue the same thing his dad had.and he is now on meds to control i...	bev	5	452	May 25, 2007 by carolena
	When will I learn? (Preview) At times I find myself over-reacting to the things that happen with my addict/ alcoholic husband. The things he says or doesn't say, the things he does, or doesn't do. When will I learn to "Let go and Let God" ? Last night at my home group Al-Anon meeting the topic was detatchment and I lear...	Karaokejacky	4	354	May 25, 2007 by carolena
	Do you treat yourself well physically, mentally and spiritually? (Preview) Living with an addict/alcoholic seriously affects our feelings of self worth. We constantly have guilt from thinking somehow, someway we are responsible for anothers addiction. This can lead us into thinking we dont have the ability to do anything right, and can develope into a real sense of sel...	gardengal	5	473	May 24, 2007 by Diva
	Problems with A Hubby and his A daughter (Preview) Hello friends, I have not been on for awhile but have been reading a few post to try and figure out what my A's (hubby, and Stepdaughter) are doing. In May of 2006 my stepdaughter who has a drinking problem came to live with my hubby and myself with her little boy due to physical abuse she was getting from he...	albertarose	4	550	May 24, 2007 by albertarose
	latest update (Preview) Last night I spoke to the Uncle that the A is supposed to be moving up to live near by. Apparently the A lies to everyone. He has pained this picture that he has everything under control and it is all a-ok. I told the Uncle the truth. He said that the A could of course stay up there but he hadn't asked and he...	maresie2	3	381	May 24, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Things happen for a reason... (Preview) Well, the first day of school went well, although a class I really needed was cancelled and I'm trying to pick it up online at any other community colege in the state at the moment so my timeline stays on track. Otherwise I feel confident I will do well in my other two classes and one of them opted to only me...	carolinagirl	3	439	May 24, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Courage (Preview) (((Everyone))) Yesterday my f2f meeting was about courage, where do we get it and how do we "fill up" when we seem on empty. It was a great meeting. One person said it only cost them a dollar to fill up (our meeting contribution) which I thought was a really cool response. Alanon has given m...	Lunamoth	5	517	May 24, 2007 by Andrea12
	Groundhog Day (Preview) I've been rolling a post around in my mind for a few hours . . . I'm talking about the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. I am terrible at remembering entire plots but I remember the premise of the movie . . . the guy wakes up to the same day over and over and over again, at first fighting against it, trying...	Kim65	6	585	May 24, 2007 by Kim65
	Continued Silent Treatment (Preview) My alcoholic husband goes through periods of the silent treatment. He does not touch me or talk to me. He spends most of his time when he is home in front of the TV. I try to give him a kiss when he leaves for work or when I get home for week and I always ask how his day went but it is really hard to be nice to him...	phooey	6	744	May 24, 2007 by carolena
	I messed up - now what? (Preview) I let my A make me so mad that I threatened to move out, and now he is telling me to just get my stuff and leave now. Almost everything in the house is mine and would take a lot of people and a lot of work to move it all out. He says I have to get it all at once, because he won't let me back in the house. All was said w...	Demilas	3	451	May 24, 2007 by sweetums
	I am screaming inside- can you hear me ? (Preview) I feel like I am screaming inside... This past weekend was so emotional. My son graduated and I was so proud. I went nearly 2 weeks without seeing my husband and only speaking with him a couple of times only brief conversations. Then BAM- the graduation and he sat right next to me. I cried and cried mo...	Tammy	4	500	May 24, 2007 by Rita G
	First day back to school (Preview) So I decided I'm going to go for this master's program to make more money for the kids, a total change in careers and I have to take about a year of prerequisites to even apply. I started classes today on the prereqs. I haven't been to college in about 8 years and it's weird but already I have met new peop...	carolinagirl	4	584	May 24, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Making Deals? (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am new here and have only attended one al-anon meeting about 11 years ago. I have been doing some reading on the three C's and am going to try to attend a meeting sometime this week. Anyway, I have been married to an alcoholic for 9 and a half years and my mother is an alcoholic who just got out o...	harmony	5	505	May 24, 2007 by harmony
	How I know I will be OK... Better than ok even (Preview) ((((((Everyone)))))) So this morning I am sitting on my back poarch drinking some juice... (I don't do coffee) and I hear a squirel on the roof running around. That is not unusual because I have oak trees and they love the accorns. They like to hide them everywhere.... in my car, in the bar-b-que pit,...	rtexas	7	525	May 24, 2007 by kismetstrand
	Healing Time (Preview) ((((Roomies))) I posted this initially in response to Java's post on Wasted Time, but wanted to repost it here for thoughts, reflections, and responses. I shared last night at my F2F about fear and I have since felt some healing in this area for me. Here's the jist of my spiritual learning... Recently...	BlueCloud	2	350	May 23, 2007 by debilyn
	How to be a sponsor.. (Preview) I have someone who has offered to be my sponsor. Her AH became sober 17 yrs ago and never looked back. Thus, she hasn't been to Al-anon in a long time and is not sure how to sponsor, and I'm not sure how to work the program. Are there any "directions" so we can figure this out together? Thanks, L...	Loupiness	2	454	May 23, 2007 by debilyn
	TIRED BUT STILL SMILING (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))))))))))))) I'm learning to detach, and omg, Im doing it...lol It's really weird, everyday I am seeing another defect the Recovering A in my life has...He is NOT perfect....This has taken me a long number of years to get here....I have detached from him, phsicall...	ally	3	445	May 23, 2007 by wp
	Farmlady kim????? (Preview) Where are you? What happened with your goats? How are you and kids and A? I miss hearing from you. Please do not disappear. I am hoping you are ok. love,debilyn	debilyn	1	305	May 23, 2007 by Kim65
	more news (Preview) The A is staill saying with the brother. He is at wits end over his behavior. He said he kicked him out but I thnk he has doen that in the past and the A still went back. I have no idea how or where he is living in the day. I can only imagine he is staying in the brother's room totally depressed and desperate a...	maresie2	3	548	May 23, 2007 by Barbs45
	Every once in awhile.... (Preview) I want to ask everyone to post and update us! We are a HUGE family. I don't want anyone to feel they have fallen thru the cracks and think we don't care. It is hard when we cannot see each other. I wonder if we have a list of members nics... well that should be a question someone asks ME...oops... have to chec...	debilyn	0	307	May 23, 2007 by debilyn
	wishing I had answers for him..... (closed) (Preview) but...I don't. It is all out of my control. I was just talking to A son on the phone. He expressed that "if this is what life is all about I hope I don't live too many more years". Working in a career that he does not want to be in anymore (chef) but knows nothing else. Paying more child support tha...	Gailey	2	499	May 23, 2007 by Rita G
	teenage boy (Preview) I'm not even sure where to begin, or how, so much has happend... My husband is an alcoholic, he has been sober for 5 months. (this is the longest time ever in the last 22 years) When the kids were younger I thought I could handle it. I could do it all, cover things up, make things ok. I actually remember thin...	pabell	4	408	May 23, 2007 by pabell
	latest catastrophe (Preview) he is now living in the truck with the two dogs. He has no money and no place to stay. When I heard this last night I just about collapsed. I had the feeling last time I saw him that the dogs were spending a lot of time in the truck. I had no idea they were staying there. What this means is (a) I can...	maresie2	11	599	May 23, 2007 by maresie2
	Experience, Strength and Hope (Preview) This was a meeting topic today at my ftf. What a great topic it was. What is esh? Why do we share only esh and not give advice? I was reminded of how I felt before I had children, that I felt when you had children acting up in a public place you should get them under control or leave. LOL the first time we we...	greta	3	443	May 23, 2007 by Rita G
	Alcohol smell mystery (Preview) Hi, I know I should not be getting caught up in the whole 'has he been drinking' thing. But last weekend my ex came and picked me up in the morning and as we got out of the car I caught a waft, a familiar sort of fruity alcohol smell. I thought he had stopped and he said he had. Of course I know that it's very po...	mama_nz	8	1222	May 23, 2007 by aunitedway
	Learning to let go and be free to be me....ESH requested (Preview) Hello everyone! (((((((((MIP)))))))))) I haven't been posting for a while. I have been going thru so much, learning to be me again. and do what I want without having to answer to my A living with me. It is hard, and I hurt inside, but I have hope I will get thru this. I am sure you all realize that my A and I ar...	hippietrippiechick	3	544	May 23, 2007 by aunitedway
	having a hard time (Preview) My husband has hep c, which has caused him to not be interested in me sexual. It is very hard to deal with that. I have a started to talk to another guy and give him interst by flirting with him, but not have sex with him. I like the attention the guy is giving me. My husband has told me that it is not me or my weigh...	nycbt	3	506	May 23, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Finances and the A (Preview) A week ago Friday my AH opened his own checking account with the deal that he would get $50 per week for gas and extraneous expenses. We did this so he would stop taking $15-20 per day from our bill paying account. So we put $50 in the account the day we opened it (Friday), then Monday he said he would prefer t...	babysteps	3	498	May 23, 2007 by harmony
	I messed up - now what? (Preview) I let my A make me so mad that I threatened to move out, and now he is telling me to just get my stuff and leave now. Almost everything in the house is mine and would take a lot of people and a lot of work to move it all out. He says I have to get it all at once, because he won't let me back in the house. All was said w...	Demilas	8	582	May 23, 2007 by harmony
	Wasted Time (Preview) "There is no such thing as wasted time. It's just what we went through to get to where we are. Sometimes I look down the road at where I 've been and where I want to go. There is so much ahead for you and me. I ended up just where I was meant to be. Don't regret what's left behind. There are chances we must...	java	11	1376	May 22, 2007 by tea2
	Alanon hopes (closed) (Preview) Our MIP alanon message board depends on our focus to be on alanon principles. If we feel hurt or don't agree with each other, the best thing to do is to pm and talk in an adult manner. Being open to talk it out. We all may be understood, or say something unintentionally. We are human. However, We do not attac...	debilyn	0	425	May 22, 2007 by debilyn
	dealing with the A's mess (Preview) for 7 years I have been dealing with the A;s messes. I knew if I was ever to break away from him it would be an unholy mess. There is no quesition it is. I had to take off yesterday from my part time job to process documents. Now I have to do the same tonight. It costs me a fortune to fax, send stuff by courier an...	maresie2	3	563	May 22, 2007 by rtexas
	Learning to meet my own needs without resentment (Preview) (((MIP Friends))) Hope you all had a pleasant weekend. I was able to get some good work done in the condo and have some mommy time to myself. Today, got my back molar pulled, had to go to oral surgeon to get put under, apparently it was very nasty. Lately I'm just realizing that I'm meeting my needs by fu...	twinmom2	4	652	May 22, 2007 by Rita G
	How do you... (Preview) How do you cut yourself some slack? How do you give youself a break? How do you show yourself love? I don't think it's news--at least not to me, it isn't, that I'm awfully unnecesarily hard on myself. So how do you? Or, do you, at all?	Tiger2006	5	559	May 22, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Another Pleasant Valley Sunday (Preview) Happy Sunday ((((family)))) Down here in Texas it is a beautiful day indeed! I have the windows opened up and can hear the lovely sounds of the doves cooing and the other birdies chirping. My friend Norbert the cat and I were just hanging out on my front porch enjoying the day. Me in my chair, him in my lap....	david62	11	578	May 22, 2007 by Karilynn
	dealing with loss (Preview) Dealing with loss has been in my life lately. I have lost my alcoholic husband of 22 years to this terrible disease, I have lost a very good friend with a misunderstanding and now Im forced to deal with the death of my baby brother in law. While loosing my husband to this disease is a difficult thing to dea...	shadow1	18	730	May 21, 2007 by Karilynn
	metaphorically speaking (Preview) I thought of all the issues I keep struggling with, mostly financial, mostly related to Aism. I felt like I kept trying to block problems before they became huge but that that I was never going to be able to do it. This image came into my mind. I'm the Scrat, the acorn is my good thing. The water is all the pro...	RainyJamie	1	342	May 21, 2007 by debilyn
	Relapse, boundaries, & father's day (Preview) I have a question about boundaries. After holding an intervention in the fall of 2005, my father went through an inpatient treatment program. He was doing pretty well, although he did not believe it necessary to follow up with an after-care program (AA). In any event, he has relapsed (no big su...	Patches	2	989	May 21, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Signs of the Fears Alcoholism Left With me (Preview) Hi Guys, I divorced my a husband almost a year ago. We weren't married very long and I haven't posted to this board in a little while, although I do read it. I have been pretty much alone this past year healing from the mental, verbal and physical abuse heaped on me by my a. Every so often a man will ask me ou...	ditto	5	473	May 21, 2007 by kissers
	Broke down and went for it... (Preview) Well, I broke down and did it. I spent the weekend with my ex A b/f. After much hesitation, I agreed to this because I needed closure once and for all. After all, thats all I've been wanting for months now. I went into the weekend with my guard up, at attention, more thank its ever been before!! The only '...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	4	575	May 21, 2007 by twinmom2
	Being apart from the A (Preview) When I lived with the A I was mostly numb and overwhelmed. That is how I dealt with it. I was also of course immensely depressed and sad and angry. I was always fighting with him over somethng. The other thing I was always doing of course was begging him, remonstrating and asking him to behave. He did t...	maresie2	6	537	May 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Got at letter from the jailhouse... (Preview) I had a birthday party for my middle child Saturday (nobody showed up) and got a letter from my A in jail. I read it and while waiting for non-existent guests I wrote back the perfect letter. I was so angry after reading his letter which was full of whining and blaming and just plain bs. I was compelled t...	carolinagirl	3	640	May 21, 2007 by debilyn
	Horrible day . . . (Preview) Well, days. Several goats got into the chicken scratch and pigged out. My best milker (in my avatar) was dead this morning with an orphaned baby. Two others need constant care, there is goat diarrhea everywhere. Of course my A is off on a binge, not that he could have been helpful other than to run in...	Kim65	9	453	May 21, 2007 by Rita G
	Hard to believe (Preview) (((((Family))))), Hard to believe it was a year ago that hubby was still drinking. A year ago I sent him packing because I could no longer live with an active alcoholic. It wasn't easy. I love my husband so much. But I was determined not to let him back until he had at least 90 days recovery under his be...	Karilynn	8	558	May 21, 2007 by Rita G
	It's called the Imposter Syndrome! (Preview) I tried to describe it in the meeting, and couldn't. It was the feeling like you're a fraud, and any minute now, "they're gonna find you out." That you're not that talented, not that smart, not that good, not enough in any way shape and form. And yup, you're gonna agree, all evidence to the co...	Tiger2006	5	945	May 21, 2007 by barisax
	and infidelity too... (Preview) I am new to this board and have attended f2f meetings for about 2 months now, but I haven't had to courage to talk about this aspect in that setting. From what I have read, infidelity is not an uncommon issue with the A. The woman my AH had an affair with is also is an A and his relationship with her was absol...	Loupiness	13	2471	May 21, 2007 by Loupiness
	What movie clip represents you? Monty python and the holy grail (Preview) Rainy Jaime's post got me thinking about youtube clips and which one would fit me. Mine would have to be the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I am the knight who gets all his limbs severed and keeps going back for more..."tis just a flesh wound" What would yours be????	confused	6	561	May 21, 2007 by Lunamoth
	GOSSIP (Preview) ((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))))) I saw this on another board, and It really struck a chord with me..I thought I would share it with you. One junior high school boy confided in another his love for a certain girl. The first boy asked the second one to keep his secret. By the end of the school day, the r...	ally	3	473	May 21, 2007 by jaja
	I don't love him anymore... (Preview) I have been going over and over in my mind about something that I have to get out atleast in writing so I can maybe muddle through it better. Also, recieving some ESH would be great. My AH has been sober since the middle of Feb. I am very proud and happy for him for doing this for himself. He is working a gre...	melamom815	6	753	May 21, 2007 by Jerry F
	I Don't Care Attitude (Preview) After being through a few relationships with A's and facing my lonlieness, I have detached so much that I can go weeks without seeing someone I am dating. It feels like my heart has turned to stone. I feel like I just don't care anymore. A man I was recently dating called me and said he couldn't date me anym...	kissers	7	725	May 21, 2007 by Jerry F
	More on More on Dry Drunks (Preview) "Part of my A's program was to not lie. To face truths and conflict. When he did, he realized it was not as bad as he had always thought." -debilyn RE: More on Dry Drunks Goodness gracious, just like I say it in my dreams. The problem is not the specifically the alcohol, it's the parallel b...	RainyJamie	4	851	May 20, 2007 by maresie2
	He signed the papers (Preview) My ex called me today after he was done with the lawyer. He signed the divorce papers that state he will be allowed supervised visitation. So, he called and said he is now ready to make arrangements with me to see the kids. I said nothing and just hung up. He acted as if nothing was wrong. As if his behavior...	serendipity	7	636	May 20, 2007 by maresie2
	A still doesn't get it (Preview) and I really don't think he will for a long time. I've been really clear with him for the past 2 months about my feelings in this relationship and what I want. Last Friday I told him that on Tuesday I was giving our 30 day notice and moving with the kids and he'd have to find another place to live on his own. I...	DelilahJones	6	517	May 20, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Bitterness!! (Preview) Hi everyone, I have been struggling with myself being angry at my husband. He hasn't done anything recently but I think I am bitter for all the past. He has said sorry in the heat of the moment but I didn't believe him. Now he is clean and going to meetings I think I need to hear him say he is sorry again. I...	heather	9	770	May 20, 2007 by sissy
	ESH ? living seperately from A (Preview) I've told my A that I'm giving 30 days notice to the landlord and I'm moving with the kids to my dad's house (he passed away in Oct and my sisters and I are going to co-own it and I will live there) and he needs to find a place to go. I don't think he still really "get's it" and probably won't till Ju...	DelilahJones	9	628	May 20, 2007 by maresie2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.