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he's in denial...again
(Preview)
well it's been several months since my husband admitted to me he was an alcoholic. he has refused to do any sort of program, saying he could do it himself (with my help of course). he's recently started trying to quit; he's been sober now for going on 2 months. i'm so excited about that, and i'm very pro...
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minnie
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4
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459
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getting the truth out of the A
(Preview)
Earlier this year the A got two speeding tickets. I had really hoped he had taken care of them. He hasn't. At the same time he's still doing this work under the table stuff which is all well and good if he earned any money at it.
He hasn't.
During the time he was homeless he earned nothing.
Mean...
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maresie2
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4
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589
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ESH needed
(Preview)
The disease is always there. My AH abruptly signed himself into detox two days ago. I am angry, frustrated, resentful. No plan, no conversation. I do not have faith that this is it. Rather, I believe it is just a smoke screen. I had asked him to sign some legal papers that he found threatening...wh...
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confused
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4
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547
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kinda proud of myself
(Preview)
Hi guys, Well, I've been in counseling a year now. And I have learned to really listen to my counselor. One thing she said to me was to remeber who people are. Specifcally, my grandmother (93) is hard of hearing. Old. Old fashioned, Doesn't like confrontation; no waves. Not into honest heart to hea...
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itsgot2bgd
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1
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305
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Sobriety does not equal Serenity
(Preview)
Hello All, It has been a while since I have posted to this board. I have been active with many things - and taking some breaks from others. As I was reading some posts on this board tonight it occured to me that we are coming up on a milestone in my home. My husband will celebrate 1 year of sobriety & rec...
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AlaMom
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6
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734
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captured thoughts of a person caught in the cyle of domestic abuse
(Preview)
One, two, three, breath. One, two, three, breath. It's time for him to leave. It's time for him to leave. He's cutting off my air, I stand here in the square. Where do I go? I hate to leave you, but it's time to go. It's scary here. Nothing is mine. My thoughts aren't mine. My life's not mine. Where did I go? I...
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java
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1
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394
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Fear is not always a bad thing...
(Preview)
WHEN I tell people that I am an explosive ordnance disposal technician, I usually need to go into further detail about what I do. Once I was with my eight-year-old son when I was explaining my job to someone. "I defuse live bombs," I said. "Yeah," my son added. "If you see hi...
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Tiger2006
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1
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259
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Is this what it means to be healthy?
(Preview)
Sadly I have seen thirteenth stepping in action too many times...in my direction. It never ceases to amaze me how someone can be in Alanon due to their "sickness" and lack of ability to deal with their own lives in a healthy way on their own, and think that they can take someone else just as &...
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Alanoner
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1
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677
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Thought's for today
(Preview)
As alway's my daily fix of Mip, gives me the courage to change, so many post's, so many situations I can identify with, when I was locked in isolation my world was limited, no solutions to my problems, nowhere to go, noone to ask, is this right or wrong? Am I crazy? I am so overwhelmed now, and continue to b...
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Katy
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1
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440
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Children Learn What They Live..
(Preview)
...and ain't that the truth. The number of ways I have been humbled this past year is astounding, and one of the most powerful is in my parenting and my childrens' behavior. On an outing last night, the interaction between my daughter and myself could have been straight from an episode of "Supe...
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Loupiness
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5
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1146
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Doing better tonight...getting there...slowly...
(Preview)
I'm making it a point to listen to some of my favorite music. Watch some of my favorite TV shows. That my father is out of state on vaca has served me well, because I'm using his TV to watch my favorite shows. I know. It's immature. But, honestly, I didn't realize how bad off I looked until 2, count'em two,...
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Tiger2006
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3
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410
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Could really use some MIP AFG love & support
(Preview)
Tonight's convo with mom: Me: "Yeah, mom, I did get your message. But I had to think about what I needed to say and how I'm gonna say it. About this weekend, and you and (stepdad) coming down, I hope you have fun, but I'm not going to be availible. The fact is I'm booked up solid, through the weekend. If...
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Tiger2006
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15
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1315
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I love the lightening...
(Preview)
((((((Everyone))))))) It has been quite a while since I posted. The summer is very hectic for me. Playing single Dad with the kiddo out of school is quite taxing, but we have great adventures together. Luckilly, they are good about him coming to work with me, and he is old enough to entertain himself...
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rtexas
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11
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555
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Live to regret
(Preview)
As I was out rounding up the critters for bedtime and milking last night, this phrase kept coming into my head. "Living to regret." Indeed, I am living to regret right now. I did not get through all the bank statements, you know how you go off on tangents. In those tangents I realized why th...
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Kim65
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11
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694
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One of those I need 2 keep my mouth SHUT moments
(Preview)
I am a gullable person - AH can almost always play a joke on me and I will think he's totally serious. Or he'll say something not really being serious at all just to push my buttons - and even after almost 4 years with him I still get sucked into his little games. Why do I always get sucked in? I have got to train...
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Gurl25
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4
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517
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PLEASE HELP! I MESSED UP BAD!
(Preview)
OMG! I need some help BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1You will not believe who is on my couch, asleep right now. Yup, my ex A. He and I were talking earlier last night, and I wanted him to find me a joint or something to help my physical pain, which is a whole other topic altogether, and my choice. So, he showe...
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hippietrippiechick
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5
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569
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Friggin GREAT News!!!!!
(Preview)
I got the job I interviewed for!!!!!! It's about $1000 more a month!!!! Now I know I don't have to count on AH if he screws up again - I've had enough of it honestly - we'll see how he does - he sais we're going to the Open AA meeting on Sunday. I know it sounds rediculous in a way, but having this job will reall...
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Gurl25
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17
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564
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Is there an acronym sticky somewhere?
(Preview)
I've come across a few acronyms that I have no idea about. Could someone tell me where to find a breakdown of all the ones used here? Thank you much!!
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Gurl25
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6
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451
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Trying to Control the Enabler!
(Preview)
So i'm really working my program to detach with love and let the A have the diginity of finding his own bottom and reaching out for help when he is ready. But, I find myself now trying to get in there with his mother and control her. I've watched her run over to his house, take his keys, convince him to go to...
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twinkie
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4
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654
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and now I know where the dishes and the spoons are
(Preview)
((((mip family)))))) Do you all remember this rhyme "Hey diddle diddle The cat and the fiddle The cow jumped over the moon. The little dog laughed to see such fun And the dish ran away with the spoon." Okay, so now I have answered the missing sock, spoon and dish mystery. I think I need a v...
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lilms
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5
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365
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Hell Week!!
(Preview)
Well this past week has been one nightmare after another and I am just going to dump it all right here and whatever may be may be. First, this weekend I was deleting files from my mp3 player and somehow (I swear I didn't do it) all the folders were deleted and now I can't put anything on it or figure out how to...
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carolinagirl
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5
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523
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feeling superior
(Preview)
I know at times I used to feel superior to the A. I used to feel I knew exactly what he needed to do in order to move to another place.
I know this week I went on overwhelm for a while. I had an asthma attack and I go into real fear over my health. A friend who was well meaning started telling what I needed to...
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maresie2
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5
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549
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HP working through us? Maybe
(Preview)
(((MIP Friends))) Things in my life are moving along at a calm and steady pace at this time; which has been really nice. Everything is still up in the air financially. I have done everything I can do at this time to get myself on a better path of financial freedom, now I just have to let HP handle the detai...
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twinmom2
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3
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532
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Working hard
(Preview)
I am working hard on my serenity. I am using the heck out of my tools and hitting a meeting everyday. I hear what I need to hear and it is keeping me from being lonley and feeling sorry for myself. I am feeling pretty good. I am still driving the long way home so as not to drive by "her" house. I am...
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serendipity
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6
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422
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Breaking relationships
(Preview)
This is something with my mom I've thought alot about...hope it helps some of you out there... I left because there was no room for me. But you could tell me not to go. Say it to me. Tell me not to go. --Stephen Sondheim Sunday in the Park with George To leave someone we love is to knowingly break a vital conne...
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Tiger2006
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1
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417
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coming up for air
(Preview)
Hi all, I's me, Lee Ann. I've been gone for several months. Not gone, just not here -- in the rooms. Not sure why.. just let my life take over and slowly meetings and readings have slipped and so have I. Oh, I've been holding it together... ever feel like that "Incredibles" Elasta-Girl mo...
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itsgot2bgd
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7
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572
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And now, on a lighter note...
(Preview)
Buried 'aliens' are really tree trunks 2 hours, 42 minutes ago KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - Malaysians in a northern village were alarmed by rumors that space aliens had been laid to rest in their neighborhood cemetery, but authorities learned the graves had merely been filled with banana tree trunks f...
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Tiger2006
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1
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351
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"Spread your wings..."
(Preview)
We fear to trust our wings. We plume and feather them, but dare not throw our weight upon them. We ding too often to the perch. --Charles B. Newcomb Even before it has learned to fly; a baby bird is pushed from its nest. It will totter upon the ground, stubby wings outstretched from its body, following the...
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Tiger2006
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2
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416
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Howdy hello
(Preview)
Thought I would introduce myself. My name is DeVon, and I have been on both sides of the fence, both as an alcoholic myself, and as a loved one of an alcoholic. I have been in my own recovery from alcoholism since August 5, 1990. I have a daughter who is now 29 and an active alcoholic. She is currently in jail...
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Tenderheartsks
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4
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556
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Our 1st Mtg (Open AA)
(Preview)
It might be better for us to go to a Spanish one next time - the only reason we didn't is bc the only Spanish one is an hour away and by the time I get off work it'd be too late - he missed out on going to that one last Sunday bc of the came. I have to admit, environment was a bit unnerving at first. My husband was th...
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Gurl25
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5
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440
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Am I supposed to be my AH's babysitter??
(Preview)
So here is the situation. I am taking martial arts w/my son and daughter. My AH started taking it last fall but only made it to a handful of classes. I have asked him over and over to rejoin so that he can spend more time with us and we will bond more. He refuses. He always comes up w/an excuses. He gets m...
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QOD
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10
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654
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Needy
(Preview)
I am on the merry-go-round again with my wife. I have a very needy program that I have been battling for a long time. "Poor me" has always worked well, but seems to morphing into defensiveness and anger when I choose to not do it that way. It started out with me having an expectation that she w...
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bill f
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5
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629
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I totally lost it today...
(Preview)
I know I haven't been on in a really long time...but that's what I get for having twins and 3 other children running around. Anyways I had planned to come on the other day to update on how things were going, because I was happy...for once I was happy, I have my own apartment with the kids, and things were st...
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Miranda
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7
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736
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watching the chaos from another perspective.
(Preview)
The house I live in has several alcoholics in actually. There is the quiet seething one, the erupting one who is apologetic at times and there are the two totally out of control anti social ones. It is remarkabel to watch other people's response to them. I spoke to the manager yesterday and she spoke abo...
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maresie2
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2
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419
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AH pulled a disappearing act again.
(Preview)
It has been several months since my AH has been home. His last binge was back in Feb. He was gone for a month. If you read my post from last Friday, you'll know that my AH got mad at me for being at my martial arts classes for 3 hours on Thurs night vs. sitting at home with him. One of my friends said it sounded...
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QOD
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10
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537
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Watching him fall....ESH please
(Preview)
Has anyone any insight into watching your loved A hit his bottom? It is everything I can do to stand true to my boundaries; 1/that we can not talk on the phone when he is drunk and 2/ more importantly that he needs to be sober for 30 days and then we can get together. He has been drinking non-stop (bingi...
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twinkie
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7
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588
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Gonna take a chance
(Preview)
I have debated on whether to post for about 3 weeks now. Namely because I've got enough garbage in my head to open a new toxic waste dump. Namely because my disease is convincing me you'll not understand, and worse, judge me and ostracize me. Why I think this, I have no idea. These past 3 weeks have been m...
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Tiger2006
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6
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543
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First Mtg 2nite
(Preview)
AH got off work early bc of rain so we're going tonight! I'll letyall know how it goes tomorrow. I just hope I don't crumble into tears in front of them all on the first mtg. I am not so good at holding in my emotions these days - esp when it comes to AH. Deep breaths....
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Gurl25
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2
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308
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family again
(Preview)
My sister is getting married to the father of her young son. She has not invited me to the wedding. Reason, we don't speak because I found out she had a brief affair with myA a few years ago. (My sister is a drinker too, thats how they got together I think) Anyway, depsite being very hurt at the whole thing, I...
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annmarie
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5
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499
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What is ESH?
(Preview)
Is there a list of abbreviations somewhere?? Aside from board talk, I struggled this weekend. I caught myself searching for drug paraphenalia yesterday, and had to quickly distract myself from obsessing about his recovery. I know better, but I just couldn't resist. Funny how ala-non has helped me...
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mosaicmax
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2
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3461
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We Miss You (A poem, sort of)
(Preview)
We Miss You Dear Addict, We're grazing in a field of lies, Flirting with an empty love. We've tried to get back just a little bit, Anything of what once was. We want so much to bring back, The soul that's lost it's purpose. Your mind that's bent on weekends of binging, Is so hard to understand. Missing you d...
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Gurl25
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2
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295
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Have you ever considered making a list of what you are grateful for?????
(Preview)
When we are dealing with an alcoholic, we certainly overlook and take for granted things that life offers for free. Making a list of what we are grateful for sometimes can enlighten a serious situation, and remove us for a short while from the insanity this disease creates. Just for Today can you sit b...
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gardengal
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6
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287
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NEED SOME STRENGTH FROM YOU GUYS...PLEASE....
(Preview)
(((((((((((((Roomies))))))))))))I have been sitting all day trying to fina a solution to my problem, of a relationship..This is the same on-going guy in my life ((recoveringA))Can anyone offer any wisdom....should I let him see this, and hope we can sort this, once and for all...Its killing me!!...
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ally
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15
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733
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Sorry, just got to ask?
(Preview)
Do any of you wimmin struggle more during, "THAT TIME OF THE MONTH", to keep it together, I'm asking because, I seem very unbalanced around this time, I'm trying to fake it till I make it, but it's ever so hard, because I'm very emotional and find it very testing not to lose it at this time, I...
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Katy
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10
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486
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one more question regarding my last post
(Preview)
My ex was working for this older, sick woman in the program. She came to love and trust him very,very much. She was similar to my mom in that she just leaves important things like credit cards laying around. I remember him telling me he found a pile of her credit cards like 25 of them that weren't expired....
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serendipity
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13
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609
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Facing the music (sigh)
(Preview)
I just downloaded all the bank statements from the last two years for my lawyer. I've received feedback out my ears that I am a strong woman, tough, brave, etc. I appreciate that, and in many ways, I am strong tough and brave. But not when it comes to money. The concrete reality of what my A has spent on dr...
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Kim65
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10
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542
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Question about forks
(Preview)
Hello (((All))) I kinda wish this was a more important post about the forks in the roads of life or something but it is not .... I have a question about plain old tableware. And I freely admit I have been obsessed with this question for at least a couple of years now. I even tried giving it up to my HP, helped o...
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Jennifer
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11
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535
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Elizabethtown, KY
(Preview)
MIP Family, I am taking a small vacation with my Mom, granddaughter & niece this week. I will be in Elizabethtown, Kentucky on Friday 6/29 and hope to attend an Al-Anon meeting. I love attending meetings when out of town - meeting new friends in recovery is always great fun. Anyway, I was just won...
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Rita G
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1
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1832
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I Don't know about the forks but I know where the socks go
(Preview)
(((((Friends))))) In answer to where do the missing socks go. This is where dryer lint comes from. lilms
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lilms
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6
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369
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Just to let you know
(Preview)
I did write the woman a letter ( see last post) and explained what the situation with my ex, my mother, and her credit cards. I also called a friend in AA and he said call her. So, I did leave her a message also. Now, she has been informed and hopefully will be protected. I really took all of your posts into con...
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serendipity
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4
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551
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face to face observation
(Preview)
I must comment on my f2f meeting I attended Friday.
I was the happiest person in the room! I left just shaking my head.
When I came home and AH says "How was your meeting?" and I told him my
observation, he said- "Welcome to my world"
Him being in AA and me going to A...
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gknee
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4
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560
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A controling my life
(Preview)
Seems to me that the more my AH loses control with his own life the more he wants to control mine. He told me on Saturday that our marriage would be fine if I just allowed him access to my cell phone and my email account. I told him it wasn't going to happen. The way to have a good marriage is to trust one ano...
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Denoraphy
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2
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359
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His Excuse
(Preview)
So yeah, AH said we were going on Sunday - but guess what - NO. He left Saturday night and didn't come back. Said he wanted to watch the MEX v. USA soccer game on Sunday & knew if he stayed I'd expect him to go to the meeting. He was all please don't be mad - seemed pretty sincere abt the whole thing, didn...
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Gurl25
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5
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359
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He stole my mother's credit cards
(Preview)
sober-less-than-a-year-and-involved-with-a-new-relationship.
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serendipity
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5
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604
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Hugs matter
(Preview)
And it's good to know we can here and get them when we need them! I could not sleep much last night because I could not get the stuff I posted about last night off my mind. Plus, I had too much caffiene and nictotene so it's my own fault. But I so appreciated response from those of you who did and I was able...
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jaja
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1
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401
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On Sex w/ AH
(Preview)
As sincere as AH seems to be abt wanting to change, and knowing his alcoholic behavior IS a disease - I still feel many times that I'm being "groomed" or bribed for sex. He will tell me how sorry he, hug me, how much he wants to get better...etc. With the way things have been - I'm so tired of bei...
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Gurl25
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8
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1127
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Sometimes I can't shut up
(Preview)
((((Everyone)))) I'm back from a week of Girl Scout camp-- bug bites, sunburn and a serious case of hat head LOL. It was a good week. I've worked camp the last 6 yrs. and love it -- it gives me a lot of joy. Anyhow, I wish I could go on and on about how good life is, only it isn't. I'm so flipping frustrated....
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Lunamoth
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7
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517
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In Need of Some ESH!
(Preview)
I could use some ESH. My A is a binger and for the past year whenever he drank,we always called them relapses. Truth is, it is and has always been his addiction as he has not embraced a recovery program. Having come out of my denial and hit my bottom with our interaction and my sickness to "get him...
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twinkie
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9
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489
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I went
(Preview)
I went to the visit on Friday, despite a letter not coming in the mailbox. I was determined to do it I suppose. It was ok, I was kind of mean (from his perspective) guess it was really just brutal honesty. I laughed at him a few times. It would be easier if we didn't have good rapport. Anyway, I was glad I...
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carolinagirl
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4
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520
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Just needing a hug tonight
(Preview)
You know we can fluctuate at times in dealing with our A's. Guess I'm going through another one of those times and my mother is getting on my nerves as well. About a month or so ago I told my A I was going to go ahead with a divorce since we didn't seem to getting anywhere in this relationship. But, with noth...
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jaja
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7
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440
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