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Neurological Diseases
(Preview)
I know Alcoholism is a disease, but deep down I never truly believed it until recently. My grandmother should have been in Alanon. She was always the enabler, martyr, and people pleaser. She married 2 alcoholics. She is now 84. She has been back and forth to the hospital this year atleast 12 times. It ha...
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kissers
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3
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431
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Update
(Preview)
I hate it when I'm right. When I went into town to gas up before going down to the courthouse for the restraining order, the A suddenly comes at me from the parking lot. "I'm taking the car," he stated, and opened the car door to get in! Not happening, I had the keys in my pocket. I called 911 fro...
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Kim65
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10
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668
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wish I had an instruction book
(Preview)
It was always easier to know what the right thing to do is, when it's not your own kid. My 19 year old dropped out of college, and got fired from her job for always being late, taking too long of breaks and what ever else she's not telling me. She had moved out but now has no money so I let her come home. i said I w...
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gimmpy
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6
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616
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I think I am learning
(Preview)
4 years ago, 4 weeks after I had baby #3, I found emails from the woman my husband was having an affair with. I was beyond devestated. I moved out, with my 3 kids. He and I went to counsling, he relapsed into his crack addiction, he didn't end things with her right away, although he was telling me the entire...
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serendipity
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5
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480
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Back from Disney!!
(Preview)
Hello ((((Everyone))))) Well, I made it back home late yesterday from an eleven day adventure out to Florida to go see Mickey Mouse. I went with some friends, sixteen of us in all. I had a really fabulous time. And am so very worn out! If there is an attraction in any of the 4 disney parks or the two universa...
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david62
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10
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718
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Expectations
(Preview)
(((Friends))) I had heard the phrase, " Expectations are premeditated resentments" here once before and heard it again this week in a F/F meeting. I hadn't really a clue about what it meant until this past week. I knew Wednesday I had to get to a meeting. I had three days of turmoil in the h...
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twinmom2
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4
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652
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GODS WILL (EXPLINATION)
(Preview)
Guys..... I saw this and thought It was a great help to me.....Gods will, Is something I struggle with from time to time.... Hope It help some of you understand it...... God's Will God's will most often happens in spite of us, not because of us. We may try to second guess what God has in mind for us, looking...
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ally
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2
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628
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just lets the debt build up
(Preview)
In this way I seriously need to detach. My AH has never been financially wise, and now that he his an active A, he's downright dumb (financially). Not too long ago I consolidated a few of his mounting credit debts into one low interest loan with a five-year payoff plan. It's a joint account, in both of our...
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RainyJamie
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13
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813
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The most painful part of steps 1/2/3 (for me)
(Preview)
There are as many ways to live and grow, as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us. --Evelyn Mandel Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this reco...
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Tiger2006
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2
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357
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Please explain
(Preview)
So, I don't really get it. What does it mean to say even though the A is gone, the ism remains, and that Aism is just a symptom? What are all the other symptoms of the disease? My Ah (sober 5 mos) has claimed that he does not want Aism to define him and has said he is the same person he was (in a coversation abo...
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Loupiness
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9
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497
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He might be getting out
(Preview)
The chemical assays done on the paraphernalia found here at the house showed no methamphetamine. The plate full of pot is a misdemeanor, so the county jail will release him tonight. The sheriff called to notify me which I greatly appreciated. If they issued a warrant in Spokane county for 'failure...
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Kim65
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6
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524
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Hmmmm...I can no longer edit my posts
(Preview)
Once in a while I will notice a misspelled word or a poorly worded sentence in a post I have already made, and go into the post to edit it. Don't want to look like an idiot! LOL! Well, I can no longer find the "edit" feature at the top of my posts. Wha happint??????????
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Diva
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9
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576
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Last Post from Dolphin123
(Preview)
Hi Family, I haven't been on in I don't know how long. I have been attending meetings in our room and trying to get to f2f meetings when I can. As the topic states, this is my last post as Dolphin123. I have changed my name in the room to Mandy123 and will begin posting as Mandy next time. I have been working on...
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Dolphin123
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9
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713
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The Alanon Syndrome
(Preview)
I have it! I don't know that every word out of my mouth is an alanon slogan, but I know that my life seems better when my first reaction is an alanon slogan rather than the first thing that pops into my head. Usually when I am confronted with something I don't like I want to pull out the claws and give someon...
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greta
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13
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791
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Thank God for sponsors
(Preview)
Convo this afternoon with my sponsor: Sponsor: So I heard about the convo with Mommy Me: Are you mad at me? Sponsor: Mad? Why on earth? Me: Well, we've rehearsed this for like, ever, and you told me to be really super cautious and all... Sponsor: Of course be cautious! This is sensitive territory for bot...
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Tiger2006
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2
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551
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The best way to settle arguments...sometimes....
(Preview)
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Tiger2006
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2
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423
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how to stop being a victim
(Preview)
Well my entire pay check is swallowed up in bills. I am going to for once be adult about it. No complaining, martyring. I am where I am. I can move from here. I just have to take a lot of action to do it. I have to come up with a plan that will work.
So this weekend rather than feel sorry for msyelf I am going to...
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maresie2
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2
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430
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Predictions
(Preview)
The woman who is codependent in my household came home last night and left me a cryptic note. I expected it so I am not taking it personally. I guess I am having to look at some of my own behavior in her. One of my key traits is to overextend myself then feel sorry for myself, then lash out. She does that.
I...
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maresie2
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1
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328
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ESH on Slogans/Steps/Traditions
(Preview)
Dear MIP Family, Recently, I have read some excellent replies to members who are struggling with how to handle a particular situation with an A and are confused over how, if, and to what degree to apply a slogan to the situation. I have read some debate and concern over misapplying slogans, and also s...
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BlueCloud
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1
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817
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Am I missing something important?
(Preview)
This is a bit OT, and it's bugging me and I want to put it to rest. Yesterday, I received the fourth notice from the bank regarding the A's account and possible fraud occurring against the account. This is his very own Zero balance account, it has nothing to do with my account at all. The notice asks that t...
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Kim65
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10
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454
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BAD DAYS COME IN AL-ANON TOO
(Preview)
((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))) What a week I have had ..I am tired, mentally, physically and my spirit, is so low...... I thought I had had enough of al-anon. I went to a meeting a few nights ago and I asked "Do any of you feel Al-anon "expects" too much from us sometimes, or is it...
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ally
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4
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660
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Online Acronyms (Abbreviations)
(Preview)
http://life.familyeducation.com/internet-safety/instant-messaging/51253.html?page=3
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kismetstrand
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3
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812
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Opinions Please (Off-topic)
(Preview)
IMO(in.my.opinion), when one parent has already punished the child for a particular bad behavior - I don't consider it necessary for the other parent to do the same or enforce some other sort of punishment. Am I wrong on this? I blew up at AH last night bc of this - I know blowing up at him was uncalled for a...
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Gurl25
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7
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546
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he's in denial...again
(Preview)
well it's been several months since my husband admitted to me he was an alcoholic. he has refused to do any sort of program, saying he could do it himself (with my help of course). he's recently started trying to quit; he's been sober now for going on 2 months. i'm so excited about that, and i'm very pro...
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minnie
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4
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465
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getting the truth out of the A
(Preview)
Earlier this year the A got two speeding tickets. I had really hoped he had taken care of them. He hasn't. At the same time he's still doing this work under the table stuff which is all well and good if he earned any money at it.
He hasn't.
During the time he was homeless he earned nothing.
Mean...
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maresie2
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4
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599
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ESH needed
(Preview)
The disease is always there. My AH abruptly signed himself into detox two days ago. I am angry, frustrated, resentful. No plan, no conversation. I do not have faith that this is it. Rather, I believe it is just a smoke screen. I had asked him to sign some legal papers that he found threatening...wh...
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confused
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4
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554
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kinda proud of myself
(Preview)
Hi guys, Well, I've been in counseling a year now. And I have learned to really listen to my counselor. One thing she said to me was to remeber who people are. Specifcally, my grandmother (93) is hard of hearing. Old. Old fashioned, Doesn't like confrontation; no waves. Not into honest heart to hea...
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itsgot2bgd
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1
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311
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Sobriety does not equal Serenity
(Preview)
Hello All, It has been a while since I have posted to this board. I have been active with many things - and taking some breaks from others. As I was reading some posts on this board tonight it occured to me that we are coming up on a milestone in my home. My husband will celebrate 1 year of sobriety & rec...
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AlaMom
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6
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742
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captured thoughts of a person caught in the cyle of domestic abuse
(Preview)
One, two, three, breath. One, two, three, breath. It's time for him to leave. It's time for him to leave. He's cutting off my air, I stand here in the square. Where do I go? I hate to leave you, but it's time to go. It's scary here. Nothing is mine. My thoughts aren't mine. My life's not mine. Where did I go? I...
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java
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1
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402
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Fear is not always a bad thing...
(Preview)
WHEN I tell people that I am an explosive ordnance disposal technician, I usually need to go into further detail about what I do. Once I was with my eight-year-old son when I was explaining my job to someone. "I defuse live bombs," I said. "Yeah," my son added. "If you see hi...
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Tiger2006
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1
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265
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Is this what it means to be healthy?
(Preview)
Sadly I have seen thirteenth stepping in action too many times...in my direction. It never ceases to amaze me how someone can be in Alanon due to their "sickness" and lack of ability to deal with their own lives in a healthy way on their own, and think that they can take someone else just as &...
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Alanoner
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1
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685
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Thought's for today
(Preview)
As alway's my daily fix of Mip, gives me the courage to change, so many post's, so many situations I can identify with, when I was locked in isolation my world was limited, no solutions to my problems, nowhere to go, noone to ask, is this right or wrong? Am I crazy? I am so overwhelmed now, and continue to b...
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Katy
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1
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443
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Children Learn What They Live..
(Preview)
...and ain't that the truth. The number of ways I have been humbled this past year is astounding, and one of the most powerful is in my parenting and my childrens' behavior. On an outing last night, the interaction between my daughter and myself could have been straight from an episode of "Supe...
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Loupiness
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5
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1156
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Doing better tonight...getting there...slowly...
(Preview)
I'm making it a point to listen to some of my favorite music. Watch some of my favorite TV shows. That my father is out of state on vaca has served me well, because I'm using his TV to watch my favorite shows. I know. It's immature. But, honestly, I didn't realize how bad off I looked until 2, count'em two,...
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Tiger2006
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3
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414
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Could really use some MIP AFG love & support
(Preview)
Tonight's convo with mom: Me: "Yeah, mom, I did get your message. But I had to think about what I needed to say and how I'm gonna say it. About this weekend, and you and (stepdad) coming down, I hope you have fun, but I'm not going to be availible. The fact is I'm booked up solid, through the weekend. If...
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Tiger2006
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15
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1335
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I love the lightening...
(Preview)
((((((Everyone))))))) It has been quite a while since I posted. The summer is very hectic for me. Playing single Dad with the kiddo out of school is quite taxing, but we have great adventures together. Luckilly, they are good about him coming to work with me, and he is old enough to entertain himself...
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rtexas
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11
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564
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Live to regret
(Preview)
As I was out rounding up the critters for bedtime and milking last night, this phrase kept coming into my head. "Living to regret." Indeed, I am living to regret right now. I did not get through all the bank statements, you know how you go off on tangents. In those tangents I realized why th...
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Kim65
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11
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701
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One of those I need 2 keep my mouth SHUT moments
(Preview)
I am a gullable person - AH can almost always play a joke on me and I will think he's totally serious. Or he'll say something not really being serious at all just to push my buttons - and even after almost 4 years with him I still get sucked into his little games. Why do I always get sucked in? I have got to train...
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Gurl25
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4
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529
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PLEASE HELP! I MESSED UP BAD!
(Preview)
OMG! I need some help BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1You will not believe who is on my couch, asleep right now. Yup, my ex A. He and I were talking earlier last night, and I wanted him to find me a joint or something to help my physical pain, which is a whole other topic altogether, and my choice. So, he showe...
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hippietrippiechick
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5
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574
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Friggin GREAT News!!!!!
(Preview)
I got the job I interviewed for!!!!!! It's about $1000 more a month!!!! Now I know I don't have to count on AH if he screws up again - I've had enough of it honestly - we'll see how he does - he sais we're going to the Open AA meeting on Sunday. I know it sounds rediculous in a way, but having this job will reall...
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Gurl25
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17
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578
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Is there an acronym sticky somewhere?
(Preview)
I've come across a few acronyms that I have no idea about. Could someone tell me where to find a breakdown of all the ones used here? Thank you much!!
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Gurl25
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6
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479
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Trying to Control the Enabler!
(Preview)
So i'm really working my program to detach with love and let the A have the diginity of finding his own bottom and reaching out for help when he is ready. But, I find myself now trying to get in there with his mother and control her. I've watched her run over to his house, take his keys, convince him to go to...
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twinkie
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4
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675
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and now I know where the dishes and the spoons are
(Preview)
((((mip family)))))) Do you all remember this rhyme "Hey diddle diddle The cat and the fiddle The cow jumped over the moon. The little dog laughed to see such fun And the dish ran away with the spoon." Okay, so now I have answered the missing sock, spoon and dish mystery. I think I need a v...
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lilms
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5
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372
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Hell Week!!
(Preview)
Well this past week has been one nightmare after another and I am just going to dump it all right here and whatever may be may be. First, this weekend I was deleting files from my mp3 player and somehow (I swear I didn't do it) all the folders were deleted and now I can't put anything on it or figure out how to...
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carolinagirl
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5
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534
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feeling superior
(Preview)
I know at times I used to feel superior to the A. I used to feel I knew exactly what he needed to do in order to move to another place.
I know this week I went on overwhelm for a while. I had an asthma attack and I go into real fear over my health. A friend who was well meaning started telling what I needed to...
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maresie2
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5
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562
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HP working through us? Maybe
(Preview)
(((MIP Friends))) Things in my life are moving along at a calm and steady pace at this time; which has been really nice. Everything is still up in the air financially. I have done everything I can do at this time to get myself on a better path of financial freedom, now I just have to let HP handle the detai...
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twinmom2
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3
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543
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Working hard
(Preview)
I am working hard on my serenity. I am using the heck out of my tools and hitting a meeting everyday. I hear what I need to hear and it is keeping me from being lonley and feeling sorry for myself. I am feeling pretty good. I am still driving the long way home so as not to drive by "her" house. I am...
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serendipity
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6
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433
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Breaking relationships
(Preview)
This is something with my mom I've thought alot about...hope it helps some of you out there... I left because there was no room for me. But you could tell me not to go. Say it to me. Tell me not to go. --Stephen Sondheim Sunday in the Park with George To leave someone we love is to knowingly break a vital conne...
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Tiger2006
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1
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429
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coming up for air
(Preview)
Hi all, I's me, Lee Ann. I've been gone for several months. Not gone, just not here -- in the rooms. Not sure why.. just let my life take over and slowly meetings and readings have slipped and so have I. Oh, I've been holding it together... ever feel like that "Incredibles" Elasta-Girl mo...
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itsgot2bgd
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7
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577
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And now, on a lighter note...
(Preview)
Buried 'aliens' are really tree trunks 2 hours, 42 minutes ago KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - Malaysians in a northern village were alarmed by rumors that space aliens had been laid to rest in their neighborhood cemetery, but authorities learned the graves had merely been filled with banana tree trunks f...
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Tiger2006
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1
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366
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"Spread your wings..."
(Preview)
We fear to trust our wings. We plume and feather them, but dare not throw our weight upon them. We ding too often to the perch. --Charles B. Newcomb Even before it has learned to fly; a baby bird is pushed from its nest. It will totter upon the ground, stubby wings outstretched from its body, following the...
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Tiger2006
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2
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427
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Howdy hello
(Preview)
Thought I would introduce myself. My name is DeVon, and I have been on both sides of the fence, both as an alcoholic myself, and as a loved one of an alcoholic. I have been in my own recovery from alcoholism since August 5, 1990. I have a daughter who is now 29 and an active alcoholic. She is currently in jail...
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Tenderheartsks
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4
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563
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Our 1st Mtg (Open AA)
(Preview)
It might be better for us to go to a Spanish one next time - the only reason we didn't is bc the only Spanish one is an hour away and by the time I get off work it'd be too late - he missed out on going to that one last Sunday bc of the came. I have to admit, environment was a bit unnerving at first. My husband was th...
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Gurl25
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5
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444
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Am I supposed to be my AH's babysitter??
(Preview)
So here is the situation. I am taking martial arts w/my son and daughter. My AH started taking it last fall but only made it to a handful of classes. I have asked him over and over to rejoin so that he can spend more time with us and we will bond more. He refuses. He always comes up w/an excuses. He gets m...
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QOD
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10
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665
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Needy
(Preview)
I am on the merry-go-round again with my wife. I have a very needy program that I have been battling for a long time. "Poor me" has always worked well, but seems to morphing into defensiveness and anger when I choose to not do it that way. It started out with me having an expectation that she w...
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bill f
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5
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639
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I totally lost it today...
(Preview)
I know I haven't been on in a really long time...but that's what I get for having twins and 3 other children running around. Anyways I had planned to come on the other day to update on how things were going, because I was happy...for once I was happy, I have my own apartment with the kids, and things were st...
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Miranda
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7
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746
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watching the chaos from another perspective.
(Preview)
The house I live in has several alcoholics in actually. There is the quiet seething one, the erupting one who is apologetic at times and there are the two totally out of control anti social ones. It is remarkabel to watch other people's response to them. I spoke to the manager yesterday and she spoke abo...
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maresie2
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2
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421
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AH pulled a disappearing act again.
(Preview)
It has been several months since my AH has been home. His last binge was back in Feb. He was gone for a month. If you read my post from last Friday, you'll know that my AH got mad at me for being at my martial arts classes for 3 hours on Thurs night vs. sitting at home with him. One of my friends said it sounded...
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QOD
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10
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540
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Watching him fall....ESH please
(Preview)
Has anyone any insight into watching your loved A hit his bottom? It is everything I can do to stand true to my boundaries; 1/that we can not talk on the phone when he is drunk and 2/ more importantly that he needs to be sober for 30 days and then we can get together. He has been drinking non-stop (bingi...
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twinkie
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7
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597
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Gonna take a chance
(Preview)
I have debated on whether to post for about 3 weeks now. Namely because I've got enough garbage in my head to open a new toxic waste dump. Namely because my disease is convincing me you'll not understand, and worse, judge me and ostracize me. Why I think this, I have no idea. These past 3 weeks have been m...
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Tiger2006
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6
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555
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