Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I got ready for work this morning as usual, but right when it was time to leave, the AH said he had to go to the ER because something was wrong with his arm. I saw it sort of flop around when he tried to do things and hang limp. I was worried. I called into work (first time ever) and went to the ER where the doctor b...

maresie2 · maresie2

Well the saga with my codependent neighbor continues. She has kicked up a huge fuss about the kitchen so only she can cook her huge meals for her entourage. She left a really cyptic public note for me which I didn't appreciate. So now I have taken to just saying "hello" to her no more no less....

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((Yo Roomies)))))))))))) Well, I am working my days on, and my regular partner is on holiday for a few weeks. Which means I am running the rota (Work in the community, care assistant), with different people everyday. I am the one who is showing direction to these people. They are all ag...

dcathem · dcathem

I just want to say thank you to this community for being here. I found you on a google search and looked through many of the postings and realized that my story isn't all that different and I'm not crazy or overreacting. My A started on another drinking spree last week...actually, since December I'...

pabell · pabell

Our son was accepted into a boot camp. It was completely his choice, he wants to go. This isn't one of those that you put your kids into, they have to want to go, and they can not be in any trouble with the law. I think mainly for him its the credit recovery part. He will be gone for 22 weeks Anyways...it's...

Please Read · Please Read

I wanted to appologize to anyone that I hurt or made feel uncomfortable. I am VERY VERY sorry. I was online last night with my son and we went threw something online that made me uncomfortable. I remember a few of my posts that I made that were written in the past. I was really confused back then and believe...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

(((Everyone)))) The other day while cutting the grass, I looked at my house and thought, God please let us stay here a while longer and if that's not be be then please give me the strength to accept it. It's just a feeling that I keep having. When we built this house it was all for the A....I ended up h...

serendipity · serendipity

I am really mad at AA. I have been mad at "them" before but I haven't let go of the resentments yet. I am wondering why. Why do I always have to be mad at someone? My mother, my ex, AA. Today it is AA. I used to go to open AA speaker meetings and it would about kill me to have to clap for the chip handout...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

The other day when ah and I talked (yelled) I explained that I wanted to do the divorce as civil as possible but he had to keep throwing things into the fire and one of them has me so mad. He seems to think that since he calls himself a "recovering alcoholic" that he will be able to take the kids on t...

maresie2 · maresie2

Years ago many moons before the A I had a boyfriend from Australia. At some point in our relationship his mother invited me out there to stay. She lived by the Great Barrier Reef. I was tremendously excited. On the way back I was going to stop in Bali. It was a trip of a lifetime. At a certain point the th...

debilyn · debilyn

Have been working hard on me since last summer to get healthier. My AH hurting me so badly, well the disease, thru me, then losing my daddy then my mom... was way too much. Have not felt right since then. Found out I have type 2 diabetes, and some metabolic disorder. All my joints are inflammed. Plus I shru...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Brain Scans Reveal Why Meditation Works Melinda Wenner Special to LiveScience LiveScience.comSat Jun 30, 1:35 PM ET If you name your emotions, you can tame them, according to new research that suggests why meditation works. var lrec_target="_blank"; var lrec_URL=new Array(); lrec...

kiddo · kiddo

Matt has 8 more days in rehab. I'm absolutely starting to lose it over here. I'm in almost constant physical pain because I miss him so much. He couldn't call me yesterday because he did something to lose his phone privilege, and he didn't call tonight even though he was supposed to (I learn this through...

david62 · david62

Hello (((((Family))))) I received information from our chairperson, Maria, that the monthly MIP Business meeting for July, which was scheduled for tomorrow (Sunday, the 1st) has been postponed for 1 week. We will have the meeting on next Sunday, July 8th. Sorry for any inconvience this causes any...

debilyn · debilyn

Was going to write this private, but decided owed this to be in public. I have thought off, and on about a post I responded to Friend of yours. Took me a bit, however, I apologise for upsetting her. Does not matter it was not intended to, what matters is, it did. I have never had this happen before and have l...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I don't even know where to begin. I have no idea if I am being lied to or if he's telling the truth about being sober. But he's done some very hurtful things that are small in his eyes but mean things to me. He left the bank empty and it was the twin girls sixth birthday. How could you do that to them? He called an...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

AH has court today. He had a DWI from last December - his Lawyer post-poned the hearings several times (cause he wanted to get paid). It's been hard for AH to scrounge the xtra $$ to pay everything. I honestly have no idea what he's paid & what he hasn't as far as the fines and probation stuff. I guess th...

java · java

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and leaves duck feathers everywhere, maybe it's just a duck......or A. I think we've heard this adage before, yet still I tend to forget, especially if the duck isn't ddrinking, the duck feathers make less sense, but they are still duck feathers (isms). I lo...

kissers · kissers

I know Alcoholism is a disease, but deep down I never truly believed it until recently. My grandmother should have been in Alanon. She was always the enabler, martyr, and people pleaser. She married 2 alcoholics. She is now 84. She has been back and forth to the hospital this year atleast 12 times. It ha...

Kim65 · Kim65

I hate it when I'm right. When I went into town to gas up before going down to the courthouse for the restraining order, the A suddenly comes at me from the parking lot. "I'm taking the car," he stated, and opened the car door to get in! Not happening, I had the keys in my pocket. I called 911 fro...

gimmpy · gimmpy

It was always easier to know what the right thing to do is, when it's not your own kid. My 19 year old dropped out of college, and got fired from her job for always being late, taking too long of breaks and what ever else she's not telling me. She had moved out but now has no money so I let her come home. i said I w...

serendipity · serendipity

4 years ago, 4 weeks after I had baby #3, I found emails from the woman my husband was having an affair with. I was beyond devestated. I moved out, with my 3 kids. He and I went to counsling, he relapsed into his crack addiction, he didn't end things with her right away, although he was telling me the entire...

david62 · david62

Hello ((((Everyone))))) Well, I made it back home late yesterday from an eleven day adventure out to Florida to go see Mickey Mouse. I went with some friends, sixteen of us in all. I had a really fabulous time. And am so very worn out! If there is an attraction in any of the 4 disney parks or the two universa...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Friends))) I had heard the phrase, " Expectations are premeditated resentments" here once before and heard it again this week in a F/F meeting. I hadn't really a clue about what it meant until this past week. I knew Wednesday I had to get to a meeting. I had three days of turmoil in the h...

ally · ally

Guys..... I saw this and thought It was a great help to me.....Gods will, Is something I struggle with from time to time.... Hope It help some of you understand it...... God's Will God's will most often happens in spite of us, not because of us. We may try to second guess what God has in mind for us, looking...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

In this way I seriously need to detach. My AH has never been financially wise, and now that he his an active A, he's downright dumb (financially). Not too long ago I consolidated a few of his mounting credit debts into one low interest loan with a five-year payoff plan. It's a joint account, in both of our...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

There are as many ways to live and grow, as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us. --Evelyn Mandel Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this reco...

Loupiness · Loupiness

So, I don't really get it. What does it mean to say even though the A is gone, the ism remains, and that Aism is just a symptom? What are all the other symptoms of the disease? My Ah (sober 5 mos) has claimed that he does not want Aism to define him and has said he is the same person he was (in a coversation abo...

Kim65 · Kim65

The chemical assays done on the paraphernalia found here at the house showed no methamphetamine. The plate full of pot is a misdemeanor, so the county jail will release him tonight. The sheriff called to notify me which I greatly appreciated. If they issued a warrant in Spokane county for 'failure...

Diva · Diva

Once in a while I will notice a misspelled word or a poorly worded sentence in a post I have already made, and go into the post to edit it. Don't want to look like an idiot! LOL! Well, I can no longer find the "edit" feature at the top of my posts. Wha happint??????????

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi Family, I haven't been on in I don't know how long. I have been attending meetings in our room and trying to get to f2f meetings when I can. As the topic states, this is my last post as Dolphin123. I have changed my name in the room to Mandy123 and will begin posting as Mandy next time. I have been working on...

greta · greta

I have it! I don't know that every word out of my mouth is an alanon slogan, but I know that my life seems better when my first reaction is an alanon slogan rather than the first thing that pops into my head. Usually when I am confronted with something I don't like I want to pull out the claws and give someon...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Convo this afternoon with my sponsor: Sponsor: So I heard about the convo with Mommy Me: Are you mad at me? Sponsor: Mad? Why on earth? Me: Well, we've rehearsed this for like, ever, and you told me to be really super cautious and all... Sponsor: Of course be cautious! This is sensitive territory for bot...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

maresie2 · maresie2

Well my entire pay check is swallowed up in bills. I am going to for once be adult about it. No complaining, martyring. I am where I am. I can move from here. I just have to take a lot of action to do it. I have to come up with a plan that will work. So this weekend rather than feel sorry for msyelf I am going to...

maresie2 · maresie2

The woman who is codependent in my household came home last night and left me a cryptic note. I expected it so I am not taking it personally. I guess I am having to look at some of my own behavior in her. One of my key traits is to overextend myself then feel sorry for myself, then lash out. She does that. I...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear MIP Family, Recently, I have read some excellent replies to members who are struggling with how to handle a particular situation with an A and are confused over how, if, and to what degree to apply a slogan to the situation. I have read some debate and concern over misapplying slogans, and also s...

Kim65 · Kim65

This is a bit OT, and it's bugging me and I want to put it to rest. Yesterday, I received the fourth notice from the bank regarding the A's account and possible fraud occurring against the account. This is his very own Zero balance account, it has nothing to do with my account at all. The notice asks that t...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))) What a week I have had ..I am tired, mentally, physically and my spirit, is so low...... I thought I had had enough of al-anon. I went to a meeting a few nights ago and I asked "Do any of you feel Al-anon "expects" too much from us sometimes, or is it...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

http://life.familyeducation.com/internet-safety/instant-messaging/51253.html?page=3

Gurl25 · Gurl25

IMO(in.my.opinion), when one parent has already punished the child for a particular bad behavior - I don't consider it necessary for the other parent to do the same or enforce some other sort of punishment. Am I wrong on this? I blew up at AH last night bc of this - I know blowing up at him was uncalled for a...

minnie · minnie

well it's been several months since my husband admitted to me he was an alcoholic. he has refused to do any sort of program, saying he could do it himself (with my help of course). he's recently started trying to quit; he's been sober now for going on 2 months. i'm so excited about that, and i'm very pro...

maresie2 · maresie2

Earlier this year the A got two speeding tickets. I had really hoped he had taken care of them. He hasn't. At the same time he's still doing this work under the table stuff which is all well and good if he earned any money at it. He hasn't. During the time he was homeless he earned nothing. Mean...

confused · confused

The disease is always there. My AH abruptly signed himself into detox two days ago. I am angry, frustrated, resentful. No plan, no conversation. I do not have faith that this is it. Rather, I believe it is just a smoke screen. I had asked him to sign some legal papers that he found threatening...wh...

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

Hi guys, Well, I've been in counseling a year now. And I have learned to really listen to my counselor. One thing she said to me was to remeber who people are. Specifcally, my grandmother (93) is hard of hearing. Old. Old fashioned, Doesn't like confrontation; no waves. Not into honest heart to hea...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Hello All, It has been a while since I have posted to this board. I have been active with many things - and taking some breaks from others. As I was reading some posts on this board tonight it occured to me that we are coming up on a milestone in my home. My husband will celebrate 1 year of sobriety & rec...

java · java

One, two, three, breath. One, two, three, breath. It's time for him to leave. It's time for him to leave. He's cutting off my air, I stand here in the square. Where do I go? I hate to leave you, but it's time to go. It's scary here. Nothing is mine. My thoughts aren't mine. My life's not mine. Where did I go? I...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

WHEN I tell people that I am an explosive ordnance disposal technician, I usually need to go into further detail about what I do. Once I was with my eight-year-old son when I was explaining my job to someone. "I defuse live bombs," I said. "Yeah," my son added. "If you see hi...

Alanoner · Alanoner

Sadly I have seen thirteenth stepping in action too many times...in my direction. It never ceases to amaze me how someone can be in Alanon due to their "sickness" and lack of ability to deal with their own lives in a healthy way on their own, and think that they can take someone else just as &...

Katy · Katy

As alway's my daily fix of Mip, gives me the courage to change, so many post's, so many situations I can identify with, when I was locked in isolation my world was limited, no solutions to my problems, nowhere to go, noone to ask, is this right or wrong? Am I crazy? I am so overwhelmed now, and continue to b...

Loupiness · Loupiness

...and ain't that the truth. The number of ways I have been humbled this past year is astounding, and one of the most powerful is in my parenting and my childrens' behavior. On an outing last night, the interaction between my daughter and myself could have been straight from an episode of "Supe...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I'm making it a point to listen to some of my favorite music. Watch some of my favorite TV shows. That my father is out of state on vaca has served me well, because I'm using his TV to watch my favorite shows. I know. It's immature. But, honestly, I didn't realize how bad off I looked until 2, count'em two,...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Tonight's convo with mom: Me: "Yeah, mom, I did get your message. But I had to think about what I needed to say and how I'm gonna say it. About this weekend, and you and (stepdad) coming down, I hope you have fun, but I'm not going to be availible. The fact is I'm booked up solid, through the weekend. If...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((Everyone))))))) It has been quite a while since I posted. The summer is very hectic for me. Playing single Dad with the kiddo out of school is quite taxing, but we have great adventures together. Luckilly, they are good about him coming to work with me, and he is old enough to entertain himself...

Kim65 · Kim65

As I was out rounding up the critters for bedtime and milking last night, this phrase kept coming into my head. "Living to regret." Indeed, I am living to regret right now. I did not get through all the bank statements, you know how you go off on tangents. In those tangents I realized why th...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

I am a gullable person - AH can almost always play a joke on me and I will think he's totally serious. Or he'll say something not really being serious at all just to push my buttons - and even after almost 4 years with him I still get sucked into his little games. Why do I always get sucked in? I have got to train...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

OMG! I need some help BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1You will not believe who is on my couch, asleep right now. Yup, my ex A. He and I were talking earlier last night, and I wanted him to find me a joint or something to help my physical pain, which is a whole other topic altogether, and my choice. So, he showe...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

I got the job I interviewed for!!!!!! It's about $1000 more a month!!!! Now I know I don't have to count on AH if he screws up again - I've had enough of it honestly - we'll see how he does - he sais we're going to the Open AA meeting on Sunday. I know it sounds rediculous in a way, but having this job will reall...

Gurl25 · Gurl25

I've come across a few acronyms that I have no idea about. Could someone tell me where to find a breakdown of all the ones used here? Thank you much!!

twinkie · twinkie

So i'm really working my program to detach with love and let the A have the diginity of finding his own bottom and reaching out for help when he is ready. But, I find myself now trying to get in there with his mother and control her. I've watched her run over to his house, take his keys, convince him to go to...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Saturday Night Palsy (Preview) I got ready for work this morning as usual, but right when it was time to leave, the AH said he had to go to the ER because something was wrong with his arm. I saw it sort of flop around when he tried to do things and hang limp. I was worried. I called into work (first time ever) and went to the ER where the doctor b...	RainyJamie	3	485	Jul 2, 2007 by maresie2
	The Codependent neighbor saga (Preview) Well the saga with my codependent neighbor continues. She has kicked up a huge fuss about the kitchen so only she can cook her huge meals for her entourage. She left a really cyptic public note for me which I didn't appreciate. So now I have taken to just saying "hello" to her no more no less....	maresie2	2	486	Jul 2, 2007 by carolena
	GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS....LOL (Preview) (((((((((((((((Yo Roomies)))))))))))) Well, I am working my days on, and my regular partner is on holiday for a few weeks. Which means I am running the rota (Work in the community, care assistant), with different people everyday. I am the one who is showing direction to these people. They are all ag...	ally	8	716	Jul 2, 2007 by ally
	Thank you (Preview) I just want to say thank you to this community for being here. I found you on a google search and looked through many of the postings and realized that my story isn't all that different and I'm not crazy or overreacting. My A started on another drinking spree last week...actually, since December I'...	dcathem	5	518	Jul 2, 2007 by abbyal
	Feeling a tad bit bitter! (Preview) Our son was accepted into a boot camp. It was completely his choice, he wants to go. This isn't one of those that you put your kids into, they have to want to go, and they can not be in any trouble with the law. I think mainly for him its the credit recovery part. He will be gone for 22 weeks Anyways...it's...	pabell	2	427	Jul 1, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Please Read ALL (Preview) I wanted to appologize to anyone that I hurt or made feel uncomfortable. I am VERY VERY sorry. I was online last night with my son and we went threw something online that made me uncomfortable. I remember a few of my posts that I made that were written in the past. I was really confused back then and believe...	Please Read	2	644	Jul 1, 2007 by Jerry F
	Trying not to project (Preview) (((Everyone)))) The other day while cutting the grass, I looked at my house and thought, God please let us stay here a while longer and if that's not be be then please give me the strength to accept it. It's just a feeling that I keep having. When we built this house it was all for the A....I ended up h...	Lunamoth	4	519	Jul 1, 2007 by maresie2
	What is this anger? (Preview) I am really mad at AA. I have been mad at "them" before but I haven't let go of the resentments yet. I am wondering why. Why do I always have to be mad at someone? My mother, my ex, AA. Today it is AA. I used to go to open AA speaker meetings and it would about kill me to have to clap for the chip handout...	serendipity	10	749	Jul 1, 2007 by maresie2
	I have to have control. (Preview) The other day when ah and I talked (yelled) I explained that I wanted to do the divorce as civil as possible but he had to keep throwing things into the fire and one of them has me so mad. He seems to think that since he calls himself a "recovering alcoholic" that he will be able to take the kids on t...	Friendofyours	7	473	Jul 1, 2007 by maresie2
	Well I'm not going to Australia after all. (Preview) Years ago many moons before the A I had a boyfriend from Australia. At some point in our relationship his mother invited me out there to stay. She lived by the Great Barrier Reef. I was tremendously excited. On the way back I was going to stop in Bali. It was a trip of a lifetime. At a certain point the th...	maresie2	5	2904	Jul 1, 2007 by maresie2
	update (Preview) Have been working hard on me since last summer to get healthier. My AH hurting me so badly, well the disease, thru me, then losing my daddy then my mom... was way too much. Have not felt right since then. Found out I have type 2 diabetes, and some metabolic disorder. All my joints are inflammed. Plus I shru...	debilyn	4	462	Jul 1, 2007 by maresie2
	Name it, claim it, dump it (as my sponsor would say) (Preview) Brain Scans Reveal Why Meditation Works Melinda Wenner Special to LiveScience LiveScience.comSat Jun 30, 1:35 PM ET If you name your emotions, you can tame them, according to new research that suggests why meditation works. var lrec_target="_blank"; var lrec_URL=new Array(); lrec...	Tiger2006	2	791	Jul 1, 2007 by DeeDee
	Going Insane! (Preview) Matt has 8 more days in rehab. I'm absolutely starting to lose it over here. I'm in almost constant physical pain because I miss him so much. He couldn't call me yesterday because he did something to lose his phone privilege, and he didn't call tonight even though he was supposed to (I learn this through...	kiddo	6	459	Jun 30, 2007 by kiddo
	Business Meeting Postponed (Preview) Hello (((((Family))))) I received information from our chairperson, Maria, that the monthly MIP Business meeting for July, which was scheduled for tomorrow (Sunday, the 1st) has been postponed for 1 week. We will have the meeting on next Sunday, July 8th. Sorry for any inconvience this causes any...	david62	1	552	Jun 30, 2007 by wp
	Apology (Preview) Was going to write this private, but decided owed this to be in public. I have thought off, and on about a post I responded to Friend of yours. Took me a bit, however, I apologise for upsetting her. Does not matter it was not intended to, what matters is, it did. I have never had this happen before and have l...	debilyn	4	583	Jun 30, 2007 by debilyn
	I want to feel something (Preview) I don't even know where to begin. I have no idea if I am being lied to or if he's telling the truth about being sober. But he's done some very hurtful things that are small in his eyes but mean things to me. He left the bank empty and it was the twin girls sixth birthday. How could you do that to them? He called an...	Friendofyours	5	681	Jun 30, 2007 by Friendofyours
	AH Court (Preview) AH has court today. He had a DWI from last December - his Lawyer post-poned the hearings several times (cause he wanted to get paid). It's been hard for AH to scrounge the xtra $$ to pay everything. I honestly have no idea what he's paid & what he hasn't as far as the fines and probation stuff. I guess th...	Gurl25	6	492	Jun 30, 2007 by Diva
	If it looks like a duck! (Preview) If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and leaves duck feathers everywhere, maybe it's just a duck......or A. I think we've heard this adage before, yet still I tend to forget, especially if the duck isn't ddrinking, the duck feathers make less sense, but they are still duck feathers (isms). I lo...	java	1	663	Jun 30, 2007 by Jerry F
	Neurological Diseases (Preview) I know Alcoholism is a disease, but deep down I never truly believed it until recently. My grandmother should have been in Alanon. She was always the enabler, martyr, and people pleaser. She married 2 alcoholics. She is now 84. She has been back and forth to the hospital this year atleast 12 times. It ha...	kissers	3	466	Jun 30, 2007 by java
	Update (Preview) I hate it when I'm right. When I went into town to gas up before going down to the courthouse for the restraining order, the A suddenly comes at me from the parking lot. "I'm taking the car," he stated, and opened the car door to get in! Not happening, I had the keys in my pocket. I called 911 fro...	Kim65	10	704	Jun 30, 2007 by Kim65
	wish I had an instruction book (Preview) It was always easier to know what the right thing to do is, when it's not your own kid. My 19 year old dropped out of college, and got fired from her job for always being late, taking too long of breaks and what ever else she's not telling me. She had moved out but now has no money so I let her come home. i said I w...	gimmpy	6	655	Jun 29, 2007 by SingingLeaves
	I think I am learning (Preview) 4 years ago, 4 weeks after I had baby #3, I found emails from the woman my husband was having an affair with. I was beyond devestated. I moved out, with my 3 kids. He and I went to counsling, he relapsed into his crack addiction, he didn't end things with her right away, although he was telling me the entire...	serendipity	5	516	Jun 29, 2007 by maresie2
	Back from Disney!! (Preview) Hello ((((Everyone))))) Well, I made it back home late yesterday from an eleven day adventure out to Florida to go see Mickey Mouse. I went with some friends, sixteen of us in all. I had a really fabulous time. And am so very worn out! If there is an attraction in any of the 4 disney parks or the two universa...	david62	10	758	Jun 29, 2007 by maresie2
	Expectations (Preview) (((Friends))) I had heard the phrase, " Expectations are premeditated resentments" here once before and heard it again this week in a F/F meeting. I hadn't really a clue about what it meant until this past week. I knew Wednesday I had to get to a meeting. I had three days of turmoil in the h...	twinmom2	4	693	Jun 29, 2007 by Jerry F
	GODS WILL (EXPLINATION) (Preview) Guys..... I saw this and thought It was a great help to me.....Gods will, Is something I struggle with from time to time.... Hope It help some of you understand it...... God's Will God's will most often happens in spite of us, not because of us. We may try to second guess what God has in mind for us, looking...	ally	2	661	Jun 29, 2007 by Jerry F
	just lets the debt build up (Preview) In this way I seriously need to detach. My AH has never been financially wise, and now that he his an active A, he's downright dumb (financially). Not too long ago I consolidated a few of his mounting credit debts into one low interest loan with a five-year payoff plan. It's a joint account, in both of our...	RainyJamie	13	847	Jun 29, 2007 by RainyJamie
	The most painful part of steps 1/2/3 (for me) (Preview) There are as many ways to live and grow, as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us. --Evelyn Mandel Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this reco...	Tiger2006	2	393	Jun 29, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Please explain (Preview) So, I don't really get it. What does it mean to say even though the A is gone, the ism remains, and that Aism is just a symptom? What are all the other symptoms of the disease? My Ah (sober 5 mos) has claimed that he does not want Aism to define him and has said he is the same person he was (in a coversation abo...	Loupiness	9	529	Jun 29, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	He might be getting out (Preview) The chemical assays done on the paraphernalia found here at the house showed no methamphetamine. The plate full of pot is a misdemeanor, so the county jail will release him tonight. The sheriff called to notify me which I greatly appreciated. If they issued a warrant in Spokane county for 'failure...	Kim65	6	564	Jun 29, 2007 by QOD
	Hmmmm...I can no longer edit my posts (Preview) Once in a while I will notice a misspelled word or a poorly worded sentence in a post I have already made, and go into the post to edit it. Don't want to look like an idiot! LOL! Well, I can no longer find the "edit" feature at the top of my posts. Wha happint??????????	Diva	9	610	Jun 29, 2007 by leo
	Last Post from Dolphin123 (Preview) Hi Family, I haven't been on in I don't know how long. I have been attending meetings in our room and trying to get to f2f meetings when I can. As the topic states, this is my last post as Dolphin123. I have changed my name in the room to Mandy123 and will begin posting as Mandy next time. I have been working on...	Dolphin123	9	741	Jun 29, 2007 by drucilla06
	The Alanon Syndrome (Preview) I have it! I don't know that every word out of my mouth is an alanon slogan, but I know that my life seems better when my first reaction is an alanon slogan rather than the first thing that pops into my head. Usually when I am confronted with something I don't like I want to pull out the claws and give someon...	greta	13	829	Jun 29, 2007 by drucilla06
	Thank God for sponsors (Preview) Convo this afternoon with my sponsor: Sponsor: So I heard about the convo with Mommy Me: Are you mad at me? Sponsor: Mad? Why on earth? Me: Well, we've rehearsed this for like, ever, and you told me to be really super cautious and all... Sponsor: Of course be cautious! This is sensitive territory for bot...	Tiger2006	2	587	Jun 29, 2007 by nmike
	The best way to settle arguments...sometimes.... (Preview)	Tiger2006	2	459	Jun 29, 2007 by abbyal
	how to stop being a victim (Preview) Well my entire pay check is swallowed up in bills. I am going to for once be adult about it. No complaining, martyring. I am where I am. I can move from here. I just have to take a lot of action to do it. I have to come up with a plan that will work. So this weekend rather than feel sorry for msyelf I am going to...	maresie2	2	464	Jun 29, 2007 by bill f
	Predictions (Preview) The woman who is codependent in my household came home last night and left me a cryptic note. I expected it so I am not taking it personally. I guess I am having to look at some of my own behavior in her. One of my key traits is to overextend myself then feel sorry for myself, then lash out. She does that. I...	maresie2	1	361	Jun 29, 2007 by Friendofyours
	ESH on Slogans/Steps/Traditions (Preview) Dear MIP Family, Recently, I have read some excellent replies to members who are struggling with how to handle a particular situation with an A and are confused over how, if, and to what degree to apply a slogan to the situation. I have read some debate and concern over misapplying slogans, and also s...	BlueCloud	1	857	Jun 29, 2007 by david62
	Am I missing something important? (Preview) This is a bit OT, and it's bugging me and I want to put it to rest. Yesterday, I received the fourth notice from the bank regarding the A's account and possible fraud occurring against the account. This is his very own Zero balance account, it has nothing to do with my account at all. The notice asks that t...	Kim65	10	488	Jun 28, 2007 by debilyn
	BAD DAYS COME IN AL-ANON TOO (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))) What a week I have had ..I am tired, mentally, physically and my spirit, is so low...... I thought I had had enough of al-anon. I went to a meeting a few nights ago and I asked "Do any of you feel Al-anon "expects" too much from us sometimes, or is it...	ally	4	697	Jun 28, 2007 by debilyn
	Online Acronyms (Abbreviations) (Preview) http://life.familyeducation.com/internet-safety/instant-messaging/51253.html?page=3	kismetstrand	3	849	Jun 28, 2007 by wp
	Opinions Please (Off-topic) (Preview) IMO(in.my.opinion), when one parent has already punished the child for a particular bad behavior - I don't consider it necessary for the other parent to do the same or enforce some other sort of punishment. Am I wrong on this? I blew up at AH last night bc of this - I know blowing up at him was uncalled for a...	Gurl25	7	577	Jun 28, 2007 by maire rua
	he's in denial...again (Preview) well it's been several months since my husband admitted to me he was an alcoholic. he has refused to do any sort of program, saying he could do it himself (with my help of course). he's recently started trying to quit; he's been sober now for going on 2 months. i'm so excited about that, and i'm very pro...	minnie	4	501	Jun 28, 2007 by ollie
	getting the truth out of the A (Preview) Earlier this year the A got two speeding tickets. I had really hoped he had taken care of them. He hasn't. At the same time he's still doing this work under the table stuff which is all well and good if he earned any money at it. He hasn't. During the time he was homeless he earned nothing. Mean...	maresie2	4	631	Jun 28, 2007 by Jerry F
	ESH needed (Preview) The disease is always there. My AH abruptly signed himself into detox two days ago. I am angry, frustrated, resentful. No plan, no conversation. I do not have faith that this is it. Rather, I believe it is just a smoke screen. I had asked him to sign some legal papers that he found threatening...wh...	confused	4	591	Jun 28, 2007 by maresie2
	kinda proud of myself (Preview) Hi guys, Well, I've been in counseling a year now. And I have learned to really listen to my counselor. One thing she said to me was to remeber who people are. Specifcally, my grandmother (93) is hard of hearing. Old. Old fashioned, Doesn't like confrontation; no waves. Not into honest heart to hea...	itsgot2bgd	1	349	Jun 28, 2007 by Denoraphy
	Sobriety does not equal Serenity (Preview) Hello All, It has been a while since I have posted to this board. I have been active with many things - and taking some breaks from others. As I was reading some posts on this board tonight it occured to me that we are coming up on a milestone in my home. My husband will celebrate 1 year of sobriety & rec...	AlaMom	6	785	Jun 28, 2007 by Katy
	captured thoughts of a person caught in the cyle of domestic abuse (Preview) One, two, three, breath. One, two, three, breath. It's time for him to leave. It's time for him to leave. He's cutting off my air, I stand here in the square. Where do I go? I hate to leave you, but it's time to go. It's scary here. Nothing is mine. My thoughts aren't mine. My life's not mine. Where did I go? I...	java	1	434	Jun 28, 2007 by Gurl25
	Fear is not always a bad thing... (Preview) WHEN I tell people that I am an explosive ordnance disposal technician, I usually need to go into further detail about what I do. Once I was with my eight-year-old son when I was explaining my job to someone. "I defuse live bombs," I said. "Yeah," my son added. "If you see hi...	Tiger2006	1	297	Jun 28, 2007 by Gurl25
	Is this what it means to be healthy? (Preview) Sadly I have seen thirteenth stepping in action too many times...in my direction. It never ceases to amaze me how someone can be in Alanon due to their "sickness" and lack of ability to deal with their own lives in a healthy way on their own, and think that they can take someone else just as &...	Alanoner	1	728	Jun 28, 2007 by Karilynn
	Thought's for today (Preview) As alway's my daily fix of Mip, gives me the courage to change, so many post's, so many situations I can identify with, when I was locked in isolation my world was limited, no solutions to my problems, nowhere to go, noone to ask, is this right or wrong? Am I crazy? I am so overwhelmed now, and continue to b...	Katy	1	476	Jun 28, 2007 by Jerry F
	Children Learn What They Live.. (Preview) ...and ain't that the truth. The number of ways I have been humbled this past year is astounding, and one of the most powerful is in my parenting and my childrens' behavior. On an outing last night, the interaction between my daughter and myself could have been straight from an episode of "Supe...	Loupiness	5	1200	Jun 28, 2007 by Loupiness
	Doing better tonight...getting there...slowly... (Preview) I'm making it a point to listen to some of my favorite music. Watch some of my favorite TV shows. That my father is out of state on vaca has served me well, because I'm using his TV to watch my favorite shows. I know. It's immature. But, honestly, I didn't realize how bad off I looked until 2, count'em two,...	Tiger2006	3	454	Jun 27, 2007 by CJ
	Could really use some MIP AFG love & support (Preview) Tonight's convo with mom: Me: "Yeah, mom, I did get your message. But I had to think about what I needed to say and how I'm gonna say it. About this weekend, and you and (stepdad) coming down, I hope you have fun, but I'm not going to be availible. The fact is I'm booked up solid, through the weekend. If...	Tiger2006	15	1406	Jun 27, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	I love the lightening... (Preview) ((((((Everyone))))))) It has been quite a while since I posted. The summer is very hectic for me. Playing single Dad with the kiddo out of school is quite taxing, but we have great adventures together. Luckilly, they are good about him coming to work with me, and he is old enough to entertain himself...	rtexas	11	597	Jun 27, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	Live to regret (Preview) As I was out rounding up the critters for bedtime and milking last night, this phrase kept coming into my head. "Living to regret." Indeed, I am living to regret right now. I did not get through all the bank statements, you know how you go off on tangents. In those tangents I realized why th...	Kim65	11	737	Jun 27, 2007 by Kim65
	One of those I need 2 keep my mouth SHUT moments (Preview) I am a gullable person - AH can almost always play a joke on me and I will think he's totally serious. Or he'll say something not really being serious at all just to push my buttons - and even after almost 4 years with him I still get sucked into his little games. Why do I always get sucked in? I have got to train...	Gurl25	4	572	Jun 27, 2007 by nmike
	PLEASE HELP! I MESSED UP BAD! (Preview) OMG! I need some help BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1You will not believe who is on my couch, asleep right now. Yup, my ex A. He and I were talking earlier last night, and I wanted him to find me a joint or something to help my physical pain, which is a whole other topic altogether, and my choice. So, he showe...	hippietrippiechick	5	607	Jun 27, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Friggin GREAT News!!!!! (Preview) I got the job I interviewed for!!!!!! It's about $1000 more a month!!!! Now I know I don't have to count on AH if he screws up again - I've had enough of it honestly - we'll see how he does - he sais we're going to the Open AA meeting on Sunday. I know it sounds rediculous in a way, but having this job will reall...	Gurl25	17	610	Jun 27, 2007 by lilms
	Is there an acronym sticky somewhere? (Preview) I've come across a few acronyms that I have no idea about. Could someone tell me where to find a breakdown of all the ones used here? Thank you much!!	Gurl25	6	528	Jun 27, 2007 by lilms
	Trying to Control the Enabler! (Preview) So i'm really working my program to detach with love and let the A have the diginity of finding his own bottom and reaching out for help when he is ready. But, I find myself now trying to get in there with his mother and control her. I've watched her run over to his house, take his keys, convince him to go to...	twinkie	4	714	Jun 27, 2007 by lilms
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.