Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Heather72 · Heather72

My AHsober (30 days) is about to drive me crazy. He has been cycling from being "OK" to being very angry and loud. Last night, I went to an AA Speaker meeting with him. He invited me to go. It was OK. I could relate to some of what the speaker was sharing, other parts I could not. My AH seemed fine d...

Jamekaticy · Jamekaticy

My A's dad died a little over a week ago. It was a complicated relationship, but he still loved him a lot. Both were diabetic, and his dad was also an alcoholic who would stop drinking for a year or two at a time, then start up again. Worked like a fiend through it all, though, and was in tremendous shape wh...

cursed · cursed

Hello, I am 47 and I have just had enough of my parents bull****.... I live with the scare of their alcoholism everyday .. I cannot look at them anymore because they still will not take responsibility for what they have done ... i guess I am here to get some of this out of me and hopefully a miricle will ha...

barisax · barisax

I used to be a semi-regular at a Sunday night meeting, but since I have gotten involved in a relationship and she wants to go to Alanon too, I let her have that time slot. I don't feel we should *regularly* go to the same meetings, and especially since she was new to Alanon, I didn't want her to be uncomfort...

Rita G · Rita G

The theme for the convention this weekend was "Recipe for Recovery". Being in Lafayette, Louisiana, they had the room decorated with cooking things, fun stuff cause we are definitely known for our food, especially around Lafayette. At the registration table there were cards with thi...

gardengal · gardengal

Oh man for me its plenty. One big one is wondering what people are up to , especially my A. Being nosey wanting to know all the details, good or bad. I would sincerely like to let go of other's business, and live my own life, however I still want to know , "period"! Why ? Dont know? Another huge on...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

OMG it was a long drive I went to an al anon meeting. I was feeling so guilty! It was like I was "little Sarah" and I was being a "bad girl" all over again. I felt this compulsion to tell my parents "I'm going for a job interview with the Americorps in Indy. I'm really excited....

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I just burst into tears over missing my mom. The thing is, what I'm missing isn't the relationship I really have with my mom. I guess I am grieving over my childhood, over the love that my mom never showed me. My mom's attitude toward me and her on again off again very ugly relationship with my alcoholic fa...

bev · bev

hi all,been awhile since i posted..as you all know i left my SAH in jan went to live back up north in ny..came back here in march to take care of the house,and things,and had a long talk to SAH{who was in treatment in gainesville fl but moved in with a long term AAER THE BEGINNING OF APRIL}decided at that tim...

Jen · Jen

Guess Im done being the doormat. I'm nervous today. I told my AH last night and again this morning that if he couldn't get home at a reasonable hour, don't come home. We are self employed and I do the scheduling. I have been careful this year to work the schedule so that he can be home at a reasonable time. An...

Rita G · Rita G

Had the wonderful opportunity of attending our state convention this past weekend - It was awesome. Great, great speakers - Several of the speakers (although the live in different states) share the same Sponsor - great sense of family in recovery - The Alateen speaker was "out the butt" w...

weggie · weggie

It has taken me time and alot of help from Al-alon to understand that it is not my responsibility what my A does or does not do. It is not my responsibility to pay attention to every move he does or does not do. I sometimes still check to see how much he has drank or how much money has been spent and I am still...

Nedsaid · Nedsaid

I knew better before I even said it but, said it anyways. I gave my AH the choice of being married to me or the drink. Of course, he chose the drink. I knew he would but hoped he wouldn't. I am not financially prepared to throw out ultimatums. That was one day last month. In the meantime, I've gotten a s...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I have suspected for a long time that the neighbor lady was doing meth. I even restricted the kids from staying over night there. Well the paper confirmed it Tuesday, she got busted for possession and there was mention of possible sale. My kids are gone on vacation right now and do not know. I'm not su...

QOD · QOD

Hey everyone - I just wanted to let you know that I am feeling much better today. I am coming out of my gloom from yesterday. When I got off of work, I had a good 30 minute cry in the car on my way to pick up my daughter from my sister's house. I felt much better after that. And I did lots of thinking too. I deci...

NANUKE · NANUKE

Hi Alanon Family, One of the two aunts I have been caring for over the last 2 1/2 years abruptly began an argument wtih me. It was over a blouse that she claimed her friend in the senior citizen complex gave her. I gently suggested to her that I had purchased it downstairs in the consignment store because...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, In a previous post I spoke of the Open House for our new business building tomorrow and my concern that my AHsober's affair (an active A) will be there. Ultimately, I was hoping it was a fear -based hypothetical situation. Well, he asked me today if she were to show up with her friend (also a f...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) Been quite an intense week for me. I am looking back at a lot of things in my life. Things that have happened, good and bad. Things I have done, or not done, should have or could have. People I have had in my life or have in my life today. I done something the other day I wou...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

You're never too old to grow up. --Shirley Conran A child's view of adults is that they have arrived at some fixed point where they are emancipated and have all the tools necessary for life. An adult knows that we never stop growing. Many of us have been stuck in an immature level of development. Our life...

kissers · kissers

http://www.khlt.homestead.com/cap-archives.html

debilyn · debilyn

You know how we say we wish we did not love them anymore? It has happened to me. I cannot find it inside me anymore. It has made me feel pretty empty. Felt good to love him for thirty seven years. I have never known a time of not loving and longing for him. I know him living with that gross woman has really broke...

Kim65 · Kim65

I've been waking up in the morning afraid. By the time I have my coffee and get going for the day, I feel a little more together. Somedays are pretty good, there's much that needs doing around here and I put a dent in it. Other days I finish morning chores and take a long nap. I read Debilyn's post this mo...

2getoverit · 2getoverit

Hi howdy, I hope it is all good for all y'all and hopefully it is here also. I got to the log in for here and processed that log differently and here I am yippee!! Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be broken, - lol - I'm just in from the garden, we r coming up on a full moon and it seems a fine time to giv...

wp · wp

I am wondering if disloyalty within a family is a common symptom of ACOA. I get so angry and upset when a person in the family that you have trusted, lets another member down. Or am I confusing codependency with disloyalty? Something happened that I don't take lightly, and I feel that ..well, here I go...

Grateful Member Checking in · Cucamonga

Hi all, Just checking in to say I'm alive and kickin. And wanting to make sure that I don't relapse back to who I was before the healing hands of Alanon. Just getting in from the Airport after a week long family vacation to Chicago. Be well all. -- Edited by Cucamonga at 05:33, 2007-07-28

QOD · QOD

Oh I am in a gloom, a real funk. Ever have one of those days where you wish you could just climb in bed with the lights out, bury your head in the pillows and just wish the world away for a while? Kind of where I am at today. I hate this feeling. It makes my stomach hurt, my body tired and I feel like I am having...

Loupiness · Loupiness

... but I don't know how. I feel I am too new in the program to not sabotage myself once again. Perhaps I am preparing for a situation based strictly on fear, but I feel I need to for my own integrity. On Sunday, we will be having an Open House for our business at our new location. We made certain that my AHso...

newlyFREE · newlyFREE

Hi Alanon Family! I have been reading this site for a while, but have never written anything here. Part of the reason was because I was so depressed about my situation living with an active alcoholic. I felt hopeless and ashamed. Who would want to read about my sad story? I have made so many mistakes,...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Some of you know that I interviewed for an americorps position in AZ.I didn't hear back from them and I'm fairly certain I didn't get the position. I was very upset as I really wanted this position. But I do have some good news. Today I'm interviewing for another, seperate position in Indy, IN. I'm nerv...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

When I woke up this morning (before the kids woke up) I laid in my bed and just looked at the ceiling. I thought of where my life was and where I am at now. Then I thought about some of you who are in the midst of the alcoholism and are confused. When I think back seven years ago and the hell I was in it feels like...

Kim65 · Kim65

and surprising. I ran to the little store in town this morning for gas and passed the A coming out of the store. We were both shocked for a second or two, then he grinned at me . . . his best "Hi, Sweetheart" sort of grin. The one that made my knees weak way back when we began dating. I looked away...

maresie2 · maresie2

For the last 5 years I have been in a terrible depression. I felt so burned and so ignored by the A. For him it was all his friends, his family, his work, his everything. There was no "us". There were times when I tried to set limits on his friends taking over our house and he absolutely slaughter...

summergrl83 · summergrl83

This is my first post, although I've been enjoying reading other posts for quite some time.. I am in a 2 yr relationship with my A, who has been in rehab for a month and gets back next week. I went to a family program during which I learned a LOT about the disease which made me both relieved and scared. Reliev...

CAM0914 · CAM0914

The only thing that ever stays the same is:CHANGE One day at a time.Christine

alanon_2002 · alanon_2002

Once I had a dream or maybe more...i am in the corner but the tears wont come out. They are stuck inside. I have no friends. I have no self. I am not anything. I look blankly at everything. 2 or more tears fall without expression. I am useless with no background. i am not I but the little kid inside that h...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I talked to the big boss at work and the problem is not so bad anymore. That was my worst dread was talking to the director and it is done with and everything is on the table. What a relief. I am still ready to move next month looking forward to our new apartment and the POOL!!! I still have many things I ne...

QOD · QOD

I have been fuming since yesterday afternoon. My AH's grandma called me at work to talk. She said she never gets the chance b/c either my AH is at her house or my house or his mom is at her house. She can't talk to me openly with them around. The poor woman just lost her husband back in Jan and has been batt...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hello MIP Friends, Just felt like I needed to reach out to you all this afternoon to ask anyone who is willing to say some prayers for a good friend of mine and AH's. This friend has been apart of my AH's life a lot longer than I have. They've been through a great deal together. They have also been drinkin...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I'm working out of town this week, so had the opportunity last night to attend "cake night" at the Treatment Center where my ex-A-wife got sober five years ago.... I hadn't been back there for years, but 'cake night' is a celebration of sobriety, where people come up front and receive thei...

flower · flower

So I have done the recovery route, and the non-recovery. 2 years no alanon, here I am back. I have become depressed and no good for my kids. I lost my job to "downsizing" 3 years ago, we took money and investged in real estate and the market fell apart. We have rentals that will not sell, and...

gimmpy · gimmpy

it just never seems to end with my 19 year old. Since getting fired from her job for stealing and being late, she has twice gotten caught shop lifting. she has admitted that it is a compulsion, perhaps, she still doesn't see drinking and drugging to be related. anyhow my question now is should I contin...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I feel like I am Charlie Brown and my AHsober is Lucy holding the football. Every time I think it is going to be different, that I can trust and kick the football, it gets pulled away and I land flat on my back. I think it is time to put away the ball... On my way to a f2f meeting tonight I took off my wedding rin...

Denoraphy · Denoraphy

I am feeling like I am at a dead end in my marriage right now. I need to vent and I know that most of you will be understanding. Why do addicts have to make everything that is wrong look like it is all our faults? And the lies..... I hate the lying. A friend told me last night that my AH told her that I h...

NewMary · NewMary

I NEVER thought this could happen to me. 5 months ago I forced my AH out of the house because of his violent tendacies and the new crack habit he had begun when he drinks. He said it was his big wake up call and quit everything. I wanted to maintain our separation longer to see if he would stay sober but then h...

nmike · nmike

My summer has been driving to take care of my mom after surgery. It was touch and go for awhile. My family targeted me as the cause of everyone's angst. My oldest son whose in the military is very sick and we don't know why. And my AHsober who moved out 2 years ago and keeps hammering about a divorce. Today I w...

rita m · rita m

hello, I have been making f to f meetings again and discovered this board very recently, and am grateful to have both. I wrote on here about a week ago about this woman who I have been friends with in the past and now once again. My husband butt in yrs ago and wanted me to stop talking to her, and I did, I reall...

maresie2 · maresie2

i had a light bulb moment this morning when I realised so much of what I am dealing with with theA is withdrawal. One of the great things about a crash for the A is that all his druggie friends have deserted him including his brother who is a total addict. I think much of the A's behavior can be chalked up to to...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well it has been rough here lately. I found a place to live YAY!! Other than that, my kids have been sick and still are so the whole month was basically a loss to sickness for either me or them. I am feeling unmotivated about packing and selling and getting rid of stuff and moving in general. I have been...

maresie2 · maresie2

Right now the A is housed albeit in a very raw fashion. The place is at is not working out and I am not freaking out. He had yet another accident in the truck last week which plain wore me out for a bit. At the same time I regrouped from that and detached pretty quickly. One way I did that was to just hold myself b...

Nedsaid · Nedsaid

My A is very functional. Doesn't miss work, pays the bills, works in the yard (alot so he's not drinking directly in front of me), only drinks beer, doesn't pass out, drunk drive, hit or cheat. These are not my excuses for him. These are his reasons for why he does not have a problem. My problem is bei...

QOD · QOD

Now that I am back from my vacation, I am having to work on my boundries BIG TIME. My AH is trying to work his way back in. I refuse to let it happen though. For example: He came over Saturday afternoon when we got home to visit with the kids. I was bustling around the house trying to get it clean and put va...

kissers · kissers

Hi everyone, I have shared before about the guilt tripping and manipulation my grandmother pulls. Well, she tried again and I used the tools of the program. She came knocking on my door this evening. She knew she was wrong and there was no need for me to point it out to her. I am not her HP. It was so nice not t...

Leetle · Leetle

I am trying to deal with how my decisions are affecting my daughter. I recently started going to counseling with my qualifier (her father). Once we decided this, he moved back in. That lasted about a week before I felt my boundaries were being stepped all over and I told him that I didn't think we shou...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I was reading, for about the hundredth time here, another derogatory comment towards "cookie cutter" responses. I get tired of the insinuation that somehow those who feel they have the strength and/or knowledge to tell others what they should or should not be doing are better than th...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

sometimes I get stuck in a time warp. I forget that what others say, think, or do doesn't HAVE to affect me unless I let it. I have control over my mood, my circumstances, how I let people treat me, the actions I take to assume responsibility for my life, whereas I didn't have that control when I was a child....

serendipity · serendipity

My "cousin" ( my parent's goddaughter who is my age and I grew up with as the only family) told me via email today that she has intentionally cut ties with me and my kids because she feels that I was not there for her while she had been having problems with her 16 yr. old daughter. I was shocked, h...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I've spoke with ah a few times today and he never said Happy Anniversary. Even though it really means nothing to me at this point I just wondered if he'd even make that a priority. Nope. Seven years today. Is it wierd to not feel married? The distance between us (four hours) and him not showing up for three...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) Today AH has 90 days sobriety. We have had 90 days before, but I will say this 90 days looks different than the other's. We are both working recovery programs today; which is much different than before. I feel like I have grown alot in these past 3 months. I've had to process through...

mstrixe2 · mstrixe2

I find myself in the situation where my husband is fast approaching his year anniversery of sobriety. Me, on the other hand have spent the past year having a affair,smoking alot of weed, being angry at him and just not knowing what to do with myself. Where do I even start to recover? and where can I find th...

gaelle · gaelle

It was agreed the kids would sleep to their father (now, next door neighbour) for the weekend and I thought it was the right time to repaint their bedroom. The kids helped me all day and after dinner time, they went to their father all happy of spending the night there and excited about their 'new' bedroo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	At the end of my rope this morning (Preview) My AHsober (30 days) is about to drive me crazy. He has been cycling from being "OK" to being very angry and loud. Last night, I went to an AA Speaker meeting with him. He invited me to go. It was OK. I could relate to some of what the speaker was sharing, other parts I could not. My AH seemed fine d...	Heather72	10	662	Jul 31, 2007 by weggie
	Can't hope too much (Preview) My A's dad died a little over a week ago. It was a complicated relationship, but he still loved him a lot. Both were diabetic, and his dad was also an alcoholic who would stop drinking for a year or two at a time, then start up again. Worked like a fiend through it all, though, and was in tremendous shape wh...	Jamekaticy	3	394	Jul 31, 2007 by Kim65
	how can ya forgive but not forget (Preview) Hello, I am 47 and I have just had enough of my parents bull****.... I live with the scare of their alcoholism everyday .. I cannot look at them anymore because they still will not take responsibility for what they have done ... i guess I am here to get some of this out of me and hopefully a miricle will ha...	cursed	14	854	Jul 31, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Shopping for a Home Group (Preview) I used to be a semi-regular at a Sunday night meeting, but since I have gotten involved in a relationship and she wants to go to Alanon too, I let her have that time slot. I don't feel we should regularly go to the same meetings, and especially since she was new to Alanon, I didn't want her to be uncomfort...	barisax	3	475	Jul 31, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Recipe for Recovery (Preview) The theme for the convention this weekend was "Recipe for Recovery". Being in Lafayette, Louisiana, they had the room decorated with cooking things, fun stuff cause we are definitely known for our food, especially around Lafayette. At the registration table there were cards with thi...	Rita G	1	420	Jul 31, 2007 by Karilynn
	What behavioral habits can you improve? (Preview) Oh man for me its plenty. One big one is wondering what people are up to , especially my A. Being nosey wanting to know all the details, good or bad. I would sincerely like to let go of other's business, and live my own life, however I still want to know , "period"! Why ? Dont know? Another huge on...	gardengal	12	677	Jul 30, 2007 by Diva
	Update on Indy interview (Preview) OMG it was a long drive I went to an al anon meeting. I was feeling so guilty! It was like I was "little Sarah" and I was being a "bad girl" all over again. I felt this compulsion to tell my parents "I'm going for a job interview with the Americorps in Indy. I'm really excited....	Tiger2006	4	611	Jul 30, 2007 by wp
	How can you miss something you never had?? (Preview) I just burst into tears over missing my mom. The thing is, what I'm missing isn't the relationship I really have with my mom. I guess I am grieving over my childhood, over the love that my mom never showed me. My mom's attitude toward me and her on again off again very ugly relationship with my alcoholic fa...	seekingserenity	3	521	Jul 30, 2007 by shimo
	just need some feed back (Preview) hi all,been awhile since i posted..as you all know i left my SAH in jan went to live back up north in ny..came back here in march to take care of the house,and things,and had a long talk to SAH{who was in treatment in gainesville fl but moved in with a long term AAER THE BEGINNING OF APRIL}decided at that tim...	bev	5	2001	Jul 30, 2007 by mhgal
	I'm getting up off the floor. (Preview) Guess Im done being the doormat. I'm nervous today. I told my AH last night and again this morning that if he couldn't get home at a reasonable hour, don't come home. We are self employed and I do the scheduling. I have been careful this year to work the schedule so that he can be home at a reasonable time. An...	Jen	4	656	Jul 30, 2007 by Jen
	LA State Al-Anon Convention (Preview) Had the wonderful opportunity of attending our state convention this past weekend - It was awesome. Great, great speakers - Several of the speakers (although the live in different states) share the same Sponsor - great sense of family in recovery - The Alateen speaker was "out the butt" w...	Rita G	0	2713	Jul 30, 2007 by Rita G
	Wonderful Weekend (Preview) It has taken me time and alot of help from Al-alon to understand that it is not my responsibility what my A does or does not do. It is not my responsibility to pay attention to every move he does or does not do. I sometimes still check to see how much he has drank or how much money has been spent and I am still...	weggie	3	337	Jul 30, 2007 by maire rua
	Bored, Talking to the dog (Preview) I knew better before I even said it but, said it anyways. I gave my AH the choice of being married to me or the drink. Of course, he chose the drink. I knew he would but hoped he wouldn't. I am not financially prepared to throw out ultimatums. That was one day last month. In the meantime, I've gotten a s...	Nedsaid	6	824	Jul 30, 2007 by mhgal
	my boys' friends' Mom (Preview) I have suspected for a long time that the neighbor lady was doing meth. I even restricted the kids from staying over night there. Well the paper confirmed it Tuesday, she got busted for possession and there was mention of possible sale. My kids are gone on vacation right now and do not know. I'm not su...	jrtjosey	9	687	Jul 30, 2007 by Christy
	Feeling much better today. (Preview) Hey everyone - I just wanted to let you know that I am feeling much better today. I am coming out of my gloom from yesterday. When I got off of work, I had a good 30 minute cry in the car on my way to pick up my daughter from my sister's house. I felt much better after that. And I did lots of thinking too. I deci...	QOD	7	522	Jul 30, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Did my best_I'm nobody's convenience (Preview) Hi Alanon Family, One of the two aunts I have been caring for over the last 2 1/2 years abruptly began an argument wtih me. It was over a blouse that she claimed her friend in the senior citizen complex gave her. I gently suggested to her that I had purchased it downstairs in the consignment store because...	NANUKE	7	635	Jul 30, 2007 by getoverit
	Unbelievable? No, not really.... (Preview) Hi Friends, In a previous post I spoke of the Open House for our new business building tomorrow and my concern that my AHsober's affair (an active A) will be there. Ultimately, I was hoping it was a fear -based hypothetical situation. Well, he asked me today if she were to show up with her friend (also a f...	Loupiness	8	691	Jul 30, 2007 by Loupiness
	FEELING LOST (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) Been quite an intense week for me. I am looking back at a lot of things in my life. Things that have happened, good and bad. Things I have done, or not done, should have or could have. People I have had in my life or have in my life today. I done something the other day I wou...	ally	8	615	Jul 29, 2007 by 2getoverit
	Maturity and growth (Preview) You're never too old to grow up. --Shirley Conran A child's view of adults is that they have arrived at some fixed point where they are emancipated and have all the tools necessary for life. An adult knows that we never stop growing. Many of us have been stuck in an immature level of development. Our life...	Tiger2006	2	467	Jul 29, 2007 by weggie
	Recovery Radio (Preview) http://www.khlt.homestead.com/cap-archives.html	kissers	0	291	Jul 29, 2007 by kissers
	When our wish comes true, it hurts (Preview) You know how we say we wish we did not love them anymore? It has happened to me. I cannot find it inside me anymore. It has made me feel pretty empty. Felt good to love him for thirty seven years. I have never known a time of not loving and longing for him. I know him living with that gross woman has really broke...	debilyn	6	622	Jul 28, 2007 by Demilas
	Emptiness (Preview) I've been waking up in the morning afraid. By the time I have my coffee and get going for the day, I feel a little more together. Somedays are pretty good, there's much that needs doing around here and I put a dent in it. Other days I finish morning chores and take a long nap. I read Debilyn's post this mo...	Kim65	12	861	Jul 28, 2007 by Jen
	I made it in - whew (Preview) Hi howdy, I hope it is all good for all y'all and hopefully it is here also. I got to the log in for here and processed that log differently and here I am yippee!! Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be broken, - lol - I'm just in from the garden, we r coming up on a full moon and it seems a fine time to giv...	2getoverit	5	461	Jul 28, 2007 by belle1
	loyalty and disloyalty ACOA (Preview) I am wondering if disloyalty within a family is a common symptom of ACOA. I get so angry and upset when a person in the family that you have trusted, lets another member down. Or am I confusing codependency with disloyalty? Something happened that I don't take lightly, and I feel that ..well, here I go...	wp	5	849	Jul 28, 2007 by drucilla06
	Grateful Member Checking in (Preview) Hi all, Just checking in to say I'm alive and kickin. And wanting to make sure that I don't relapse back to who I was before the healing hands of Alanon. Just getting in from the Airport after a week long family vacation to Chicago. Be well all. -- Edited by Cucamonga at 05:33, 2007-07-28	Cucamonga	3	418	Jul 28, 2007 by drucilla06
	I am in a gloom! (Preview) Oh I am in a gloom, a real funk. Ever have one of those days where you wish you could just climb in bed with the lights out, bury your head in the pillows and just wish the world away for a while? Kind of where I am at today. I hate this feeling. It makes my stomach hurt, my body tired and I feel like I am having...	QOD	8	657	Jul 28, 2007 by mhgal
	I Need To Stick Up For Myself (Preview) ... but I don't know how. I feel I am too new in the program to not sabotage myself once again. Perhaps I am preparing for a situation based strictly on fear, but I feel I need to for my own integrity. On Sunday, we will be having an Open House for our business at our new location. We made certain that my AHso...	Loupiness	7	546	Jul 28, 2007 by Loupiness
	Introducing myself (Preview) Hi Alanon Family! I have been reading this site for a while, but have never written anything here. Part of the reason was because I was so depressed about my situation living with an active alcoholic. I felt hopeless and ashamed. Who would want to read about my sad story? I have made so many mistakes,...	newlyFREE	4	575	Jul 28, 2007 by lin0606
	Just sharing some good news (Preview) Some of you know that I interviewed for an americorps position in AZ.I didn't hear back from them and I'm fairly certain I didn't get the position. I was very upset as I really wanted this position. But I do have some good news. Today I'm interviewing for another, seperate position in Indy, IN. I'm nerv...	Tiger2006	3	428	Jul 27, 2007 by ally
	I thought of my MIP family this morning. (Preview) When I woke up this morning (before the kids woke up) I laid in my bed and just looked at the ceiling. I thought of where my life was and where I am at now. Then I thought about some of you who are in the midst of the alcoholism and are confused. When I think back seven years ago and the hell I was in it feels like...	Friendofyours	4	744	Jul 27, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Feelings are so weird . . . (Preview) and surprising. I ran to the little store in town this morning for gas and passed the A coming out of the store. We were both shocked for a second or two, then he grinned at me . . . his best "Hi, Sweetheart" sort of grin. The one that made my knees weak way back when we began dating. I looked away...	Kim65	9	2115	Jul 26, 2007 by debilyn
	Letting the feelings come up and just wash through me (Preview) For the last 5 years I have been in a terrible depression. I felt so burned and so ignored by the A. For him it was all his friends, his family, his work, his everything. There was no "us". There were times when I tried to set limits on his friends taking over our house and he absolutely slaughter...	maresie2	5	489	Jul 26, 2007 by debilyn
	Life after rehab..hopeful and scared (Preview) This is my first post, although I've been enjoying reading other posts for quite some time.. I am in a 2 yr relationship with my A, who has been in rehab for a month and gets back next week. I went to a family program during which I learned a LOT about the disease which made me both relieved and scared. Reliev...	summergrl83	7	570	Jul 26, 2007 by debilyn
	change (Preview) The only thing that ever stays the same is:CHANGE One day at a time.Christine	CAM0914	2	471	Jul 26, 2007 by debilyn
	I am not me (Preview) Once I had a dream or maybe more...i am in the corner but the tears wont come out. They are stuck inside. I have no friends. I have no self. I am not anything. I look blankly at everything. 2 or more tears fall without expression. I am useless with no background. i am not I but the little kid inside that h...	alanon_2002	5	565	Jul 26, 2007 by debilyn
	Things are looking up (Preview) I talked to the big boss at work and the problem is not so bad anymore. That was my worst dread was talking to the director and it is done with and everything is on the table. What a relief. I am still ready to move next month looking forward to our new apartment and the POOL!!! I still have many things I ne...	carolinagirl	4	555	Jul 26, 2007 by debilyn
	More fuel to the fire! (Preview) I have been fuming since yesterday afternoon. My AH's grandma called me at work to talk. She said she never gets the chance b/c either my AH is at her house or my house or his mom is at her house. She can't talk to me openly with them around. The poor woman just lost her husband back in Jan and has been batt...	QOD	10	586	Jul 26, 2007 by debilyn
	Prayers Needed for A Friend (Preview) Hello MIP Friends, Just felt like I needed to reach out to you all this afternoon to ask anyone who is willing to say some prayers for a good friend of mine and AH's. This friend has been apart of my AH's life a lot longer than I have. They've been through a great deal together. They have also been drinkin...	twinmom2	5	466	Jul 26, 2007 by carosie
	Cake Night (Preview) I'm working out of town this week, so had the opportunity last night to attend "cake night" at the Treatment Center where my ex-A-wife got sober five years ago.... I hadn't been back there for years, but 'cake night' is a celebration of sobriety, where people come up front and receive thei...	canadianguy	6	524	Jul 26, 2007 by jrtjosey
	When is enough enough (Preview) So I have done the recovery route, and the non-recovery. 2 years no alanon, here I am back. I have become depressed and no good for my kids. I lost my job to "downsizing" 3 years ago, we took money and investged in real estate and the market fell apart. We have rentals that will not sell, and...	flower	6	670	Jul 26, 2007 by QOD
	stealing often go with drinking and using? (Preview) it just never seems to end with my 19 year old. Since getting fired from her job for stealing and being late, she has twice gotten caught shop lifting. she has admitted that it is a compulsion, perhaps, she still doesn't see drinking and drugging to be related. anyhow my question now is should I contin...	gimmpy	3	564	Jul 26, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Good Ol' Charlie Brown... (Preview) I feel like I am Charlie Brown and my AHsober is Lucy holding the football. Every time I think it is going to be different, that I can trust and kick the football, it gets pulled away and I land flat on my back. I think it is time to put away the ball... On my way to a f2f meeting tonight I took off my wedding rin...	Loupiness	2	618	Jul 26, 2007 by tryingtoheal
	Are addicts really capable of changing? (Preview) I am feeling like I am at a dead end in my marriage right now. I need to vent and I know that most of you will be understanding. Why do addicts have to make everything that is wrong look like it is all our faults? And the lies..... I hate the lying. A friend told me last night that my AH told her that I h...	Denoraphy	8	670	Jul 26, 2007 by nmike
	Relapsed & Accident & Jail (Preview) I NEVER thought this could happen to me. 5 months ago I forced my AH out of the house because of his violent tendacies and the new crack habit he had begun when he drinks. He said it was his big wake up call and quit everything. I wanted to maintain our separation longer to see if he would stay sober but then h...	NewMary	14	664	Jul 26, 2007 by lmt123
	What else could go wrong? (Preview) My summer has been driving to take care of my mom after surgery. It was touch and go for awhile. My family targeted me as the cause of everyone's angst. My oldest son whose in the military is very sick and we don't know why. And my AHsober who moved out 2 years ago and keeps hammering about a divorce. Today I w...	nmike	9	621	Jul 25, 2007 by Leetle
	my codependency is really kicking in (Preview) hello, I have been making f to f meetings again and discovered this board very recently, and am grateful to have both. I wrote on here about a week ago about this woman who I have been friends with in the past and now once again. My husband butt in yrs ago and wanted me to stop talking to her, and I did, I reall...	rita m	10	649	Jul 25, 2007 by CriedOut2
	dealing with withdrawal (Preview) i had a light bulb moment this morning when I realised so much of what I am dealing with with theA is withdrawal. One of the great things about a crash for the A is that all his druggie friends have deserted him including his brother who is a total addict. I think much of the A's behavior can be chalked up to to...	maresie2	4	639	Jul 25, 2007 by maresie2
	Hard times lately (Preview) Well it has been rough here lately. I found a place to live YAY!! Other than that, my kids have been sick and still are so the whole month was basically a loss to sickness for either me or them. I am feeling unmotivated about packing and selling and getting rid of stuff and moving in general. I have been...	carolinagirl	4	475	Jul 25, 2007 by maresie2
	taking care of myself (Preview) Right now the A is housed albeit in a very raw fashion. The place is at is not working out and I am not freaking out. He had yet another accident in the truck last week which plain wore me out for a bit. At the same time I regrouped from that and detached pretty quickly. One way I did that was to just hold myself b...	maresie2	4	480	Jul 25, 2007 by QOD
	Whose still married? (Preview) My A is very functional. Doesn't miss work, pays the bills, works in the yard (alot so he's not drinking directly in front of me), only drinks beer, doesn't pass out, drunk drive, hit or cheat. These are not my excuses for him. These are his reasons for why he does not have a problem. My problem is bei...	Nedsaid	19	709	Jul 25, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Working on my boundries (Preview) Now that I am back from my vacation, I am having to work on my boundries BIG TIME. My AH is trying to work his way back in. I refuse to let it happen though. For example: He came over Saturday afternoon when we got home to visit with the kids. I was bustling around the house trying to get it clean and put va...	QOD	6	519	Jul 25, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Unconditional Love (Preview) Hi everyone, I have shared before about the guilt tripping and manipulation my grandmother pulls. Well, she tried again and I used the tools of the program. She came knocking on my door this evening. She knew she was wrong and there was no need for me to point it out to her. I am not her HP. It was so nice not t...	kissers	1	318	Jul 25, 2007 by annmarie
	How do you deal with how this is affecting your kids??? (Preview) I am trying to deal with how my decisions are affecting my daughter. I recently started going to counseling with my qualifier (her father). Once we decided this, he moved back in. That lasted about a week before I felt my boundaries were being stepped all over and I told him that I didn't think we shou...	Leetle	7	592	Jul 25, 2007 by nmike
	I am a proud "cookie cutter" (Preview) I was reading, for about the hundredth time here, another derogatory comment towards "cookie cutter" responses. I get tired of the insinuation that somehow those who feel they have the strength and/or knowledge to tell others what they should or should not be doing are better than th...	canadianguy	22	2099	Jul 24, 2007 by debilyn
	how old am I again? (Preview) sometimes I get stuck in a time warp. I forget that what others say, think, or do doesn't HAVE to affect me unless I let it. I have control over my mood, my circumstances, how I let people treat me, the actions I take to assume responsibility for my life, whereas I didn't have that control when I was a child....	seekingserenity	3	517	Jul 24, 2007 by lmt123
	It has to be me (Preview) My "cousin" ( my parent's goddaughter who is my age and I grew up with as the only family) told me via email today that she has intentionally cut ties with me and my kids because she feels that I was not there for her while she had been having problems with her 16 yr. old daughter. I was shocked, h...	serendipity	10	619	Jul 24, 2007 by Friendofyours
	"Happy" Anniversary? (Preview) I've spoke with ah a few times today and he never said Happy Anniversary. Even though it really means nothing to me at this point I just wondered if he'd even make that a priority. Nope. Seven years today. Is it wierd to not feel married? The distance between us (four hours) and him not showing up for three...	Friendofyours	8	2184	Jul 24, 2007 by Friendofyours
	90 days sober today (Preview) (((MIP Family))) Today AH has 90 days sobriety. We have had 90 days before, but I will say this 90 days looks different than the other's. We are both working recovery programs today; which is much different than before. I feel like I have grown alot in these past 3 months. I've had to process through...	twinmom2	6	735	Jul 24, 2007 by lin0606
	left behind (Preview) I find myself in the situation where my husband is fast approaching his year anniversery of sobriety. Me, on the other hand have spent the past year having a affair,smoking alot of weed, being angry at him and just not knowing what to do with myself. Where do I even start to recover? and where can I find th...	mstrixe2	5	624	Jul 24, 2007 by twinkie
	What do you tell your kids? (Preview) It was agreed the kids would sleep to their father (now, next door neighbour) for the weekend and I thought it was the right time to repaint their bedroom. The kids helped me all day and after dinner time, they went to their father all happy of spending the night there and excited about their 'new' bedroo...	gaelle	10	690	Jul 24, 2007 by gaelle
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