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Right or wrong???
(Preview)
Ok so this my dilemma today.... Would it be wrong to make a new rule around here??? So I have figured out that I can't control my A husband drinking. I totally get it and I have accepted it. WOO HOO!! He knows the rule now that He can no longer drive the kids anywhere alone. Now would it be a controlling issue i...
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sgraingermk
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9
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576
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One day at a time....
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))) Last night I looked into the face of insanity. I wish I could say it is the first time I've seen this, it's been a while. My A and I are divorcing. He is a control freak and he's not handling this well. He scares me and I'm scared for him. To see someone rage thru 3 or 4 different extreme...
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Lunamoth
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9
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453
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stepping stones
(Preview)
I had a meltdown on the weekend. The door to the place wasn't ok. I just had this vision of not being able to get in and being all alone and locked out. Luckily a friend came through for me.
So I am about 2/3rds the way there. Have to make another run on Wednesday. After that I have stuff in storage and have no...
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maresie2
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3
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383
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He has been sober now 100 days...why am i so angry?
(Preview)
when i kicked him out of my home in december, he stood by his alcohol and told me he doesnt want to give it up... then 7 weeks later, when he realised i had finally actually given up on us, he decided to quit. after all these years of waiting for him to do it and stick to it, he finally does it when i have nothing...
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arty
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11
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722
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Love?
(Preview)
I was writing this really great, thoughtful, wise post when all the sudden my computer (or HP?) logged me off there by losing all these really awsome, fantastic insights. HHMMMM...... I guess the jist of it is this: I have been missing my ex AH madly the past few days (weeks....years....). I have come...
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serendipity
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8
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931
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Needing some suggestions.
(Preview)
My A and I run a business together. He does the labor and I manage the schedule and bookkeeping from home. He gets the money directly from customers when work is completed. No way to change this. I realize I can't control this aspect. My dilema is, I would like to work part-time but can't make enough to pay...
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Jen
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5
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628
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Obstacles obstacles
(Preview)
I moved quite a bit of stuff last night and am absolutely exhausted. I have so many obstacles this weekend. In addition the people where the A are are agitating they want their money. I have to stand back and let him deal with it. Of course he has no money!!!!
I'm back to feeling overwhelmed. What's new i...
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maresie2
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11
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451
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Question about triggers...
(Preview)
Hello all, Thanks for reading. I'm new here so please bear with me. My AH and I a trying to work on our marriage. I feel like he is blaming me for his drinking still, I know I did not cause this! He says I feel that way because I am a trigger for him.........I don't know enough about this........help??...
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cstwwt
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6
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631
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Remind me again who is the crazy one
(Preview)
He came over and was severly manic. Same as he has been. He bounced around and tried to make convo but he was like a 12 year old boy in front of me, the parent. Anyway, he asked how I was doing with all the "stuff" and I told him and I think his reply was "yeah, that really sucks." Sucks?...
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serendipity
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3
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391
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He "didn't remember"
(Preview)
I finally returned home after two days at a friends house. Those of you who read my last post...will remember that we got into a huge fight...he started to call me crazy, I told him to quit, he called me delusional...I told him if he didn't stop that I would leave the house and stay with a friend...he kept...
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lil_pieces
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8
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1123
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why do i want to hurt my qualifier?
(Preview)
I love my boyfriend so very much, but sometimes I get so resentful that I say hurtful things, almost unintentionally. Its like all day I'm thinking about what I can do to make him better, to make him want to be sober... then, I jab out of nowhere. I feel like I hurt so much that its not fair that he gets to numb...
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tropicalrozes
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7
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596
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Hope vs hopeless
(Preview)
Just wanted new ones like me to know and thanks to all of you who have been here for awhile, one thing I found that helped me drag myself out of the hopeless dark, back to some glimmer of hope again. I have been avoiding things, can't get to sleep, if sleep have nighmares that wake me, nap days to avoid, depre...
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ddub
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3
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612
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Feeling weak, need encouragement
(Preview)
My AH is on quite a bender. He isn't working on our business, not bathing, not doing much of anything but drinking. His physical health is suffering. By this point in the past I would have blown up at him and we would have it out. He would make all the promises and quickly break them. This time I made a consci...
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babysteps
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8
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625
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son
(Preview)
I grew up in chaos and poverty because of booze. Went to Alateen at 14.At 17watched my Dad die at 40 from alcholism. Left soon after to get away from drunken widow /mother. Drank myself into a bottom by 30. Got AA,sober 26 years,bigshot old timer. My 17 year old ,drank / drove into a guard rail... I pu...
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EdwardNotEddie
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12
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726
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frustrated with functioning alcoholic
(Preview)
ok, so I am confused and spinning thoughts. I'll just vent and hope some one can make head or tails of this! I am frustrated so it's a type of anger about hope, trust and/or feeling like a fool. alanon encourages work on yourself and learn all you can about alcoholism so trying to be hopeful and/or conc...
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ddub
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5
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1166
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SOO HAPPY
(Preview)
HeHe I finally got back in here FOr the longest time it would not let me sign in for some reason Miss you guys love youuuuu xoxo
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Lauren ashley
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7
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489
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Sad but relieved
(Preview)
Well, my A friend is in the rehab/psych hospital. The police went to his house last night and carried out the warrant. When I talked with him (he called me to take him some clothes), he was telling me what the doctors talked to him about, and how he replied. Not being cooperative and refusing to take th...
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mhgal
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3
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498
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does not compute...does not compute...does not compute...
(Preview)
This makes no sense at all. AGAIN. After I had chilled about my A driving the other day, after we discussed it again yesterday, after him saying "it was a rash decision that I shouldn't have made" (sigh...I've heard THAT so many times since he's been sober that I really don't believe a word...
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lmt123
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8
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507
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HELP< CANT GET IN CHAT???
(Preview)
Hi mip family, I'm trying to get in chat and it says im banned???? Somebody made a mistake cuz I promise I am a good girl lol, didn't do anything wrong, please help me get back in. Thanks SERENITY62
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serenity62
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1
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468
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Some closure...
(Preview)
Hello
I've been doing quite a bit of thinking back recently about what I've been through in the last couple of years or so. A quick recap of my experience... I was married for 16 years... about 10 of them were good. In the last several years, my husband started drinking more and more and also started usin...
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artygirl
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4
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332
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(((EVERYONE)))
(Preview)
(((EVERYONE))) Thanks so much for all your responses!!! It's so nice to have the feedback. Speaking to my friends and family about of this is so hard. They try so hard to help, but all that does is get me upset. They just don't get it. I'm still trying to get it in in their heads that there is nothing ANY of us...
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sgraingermk
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5
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290
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Need to let it out!
(Preview)
Ok so not even a week since the last incident with my AH husband, he drank again last night.(He had said he was quitting!! Blah Blah blah! But I'm Ok with that. I didn't get upset, Just told him That I'm not stupid (He tried to cover it with gum) You don't have to hide it. Than I went back to bed. NO arguing! I...
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sgraingermk
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10
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543
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help...feeling guilty this morning
(Preview)
Last night my son was here (allowed him to visit with his daughter) and I new the moment he walked through the door something was wrong. But this has been on going for over 17 years and I don't have the energy to even WANT to know anymore. I'm so, so tired. Turns out later in the night he started crying and sai...
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sonja ja
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13
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633
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Reply
(Preview)
To all who posted back to my depressed entry...THANKYOU. I realize over and over what an important place this is for me to be and this time I hope to make it a regular part of my healing. I gain so much through all your ESH.....most of all this time , hearing those of you that mentioned this was a time to reall...
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Fifi
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3
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335
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honest? circular thinking
(Preview)
This place is my life line between meetings once a week. I have gone to only 6 mtgs and it really helps me to see there is another way to do this but I don't get how yet. That's ok tho' as reading your posts lets me know, I will get it. The slogans have already helped me a lot to stay calm and I keep understand...
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ddub
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3
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388
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Best of intentions, not good enough anymore
(Preview)
______________________________________________________________
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Mandy123
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6
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505
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Conversation w/ my son.... Is the grass greener
(Preview)
Apologies for those who read my post on another board....but I thought it was cool and wanted to share. I took my son to his first Major League baseball game this week on Monday. He's been to minor league games but never the grandour of a MLB game. One of the things he asked me about was the designs on the gra...
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bobump
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9
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575
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How much are you willing to take?
(Preview)
What would you do if you knew that there was a Force in the Universe bigger than you are, and bigger than the A's, that ALWAYS equals out any injustice, that ALWAYS balances out the books, that ALWAYS creates what other people bring out and bring upon themselves? What would you do if you didn't have to w...
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Christy
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8
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601
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oh oh...starting to obsess...
(Preview)
Starting to obsess about the A and what he should do and how is mother should act. Stuck up in my head the past few days...grrrrr.... Had been doing so well staying detached, focusing on me and moving on with my life. Where did this come from? It is early recovery for him, I've been in a program for a year...
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twinkie
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4
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689
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Diabetes, insulin dependent?
(Preview)
Has anyone got any experience about this and mood swings with a recovering alchoholic. Someone told me that when they stop drinking the body craves sugar in a different form, my husband never had a sweet tooth when he actively drank, but he's mad for cakes and all things sugar loaded now and fatty me...
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Katy
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5
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720
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Are drunks al-anons also????????
(Preview)
This is my first posting here, and I wanted to pose a question. I know alcholics have common charteristics, but do you think that al-anons do also. And do you think that alcholics can have the same charteristics as alanons? You see I have been a recovering alcholic for 19yrs, and grew up in a terribly al...
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Dale
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13
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739
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Sometimes I cannot help but wonder....
(Preview)
Having a child who is addicted must be the most awful situation a parent can face. Intimating or suggesting that a suffering parent allow his/her child to fall into the gutter goes against every principle I believe in and hold dear. Detachment is a concept that, like most others, is relative. I am r...
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Diva
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18
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701
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Here's a new one I was told tonight....
(Preview)
I had a phone conversation with ah tonight (he was sober). He's been four hours away at his job for eight months. He got the job so that we wouldn't lose the house. I figured after he established that he would do what it took to get us together. Well.....he never did anything. He lives in a trailor with two g...
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Friendofyours
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5
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559
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Prayers for continued remission
(Preview)
Hello my fellow MIP's! I've missed you. My computer was not allowing me to use anything Java, so I had a long process of fixing it. Anyway, working for now. :) LOL I would like my MIP family to add my family with special intensions for my son to the prayer lists. Bryon will be going through yet anothe...
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smpoli
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6
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416
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The courage to walk through the doors...
(Preview)
I did it: I went to a meeting this afternoon. It took all the courage I could muster to walk into the room, especially since this was my first time at this particular meeting. I was so relieved to be back, even though I was nervous the entire time. I didn't speak, but listening was enough. I did realize that...
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tropicalrozes
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4
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398
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A sense of calm has come over me
(Preview)
I have a sense of calm over the past two days I have not had for a year or more. I feel like I can detach from the madness and take it easy on myself. I no longer feel absolutely dripping with resentment and rage. When I'm confronted with people who are really reactive, manipulative and demanding I no longer...
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maresie2
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4
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548
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I'm new, obviously....
(Preview)
My name is Anjie. I am a stay at home mama of 3. I am married, have been for 10 years, been together for 13 & a half. My husband is an alcoholic. And I have spent pretty much my whole life with alcoholics, my mom was an alcoholic, my dad is an alcoholic, my brother is a whole other story. I have even spe...
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anjie
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9
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645
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Sometimes it's hard to figure out what to do - suggestions?
(Preview)
I was planning to file for divorce before I moved then I learned that the vehicles that I have would have to be signed off by him in front of a notary (he's in prison) so I started thinking I really don't want to piss him off so maybe he will sign off in the future. Then I think, either way he will just hold it ov...
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carolinagirl
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6
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608
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Good song that I feel applies to me
(Preview)
Da Da Da Da The smell of your skin lingers on me now Your probably on your flight back to your home town I need some shelter of my own protection baby To be with myself instead of calamity Peace, Serenity [CHORUS] I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It's personal, Myself and I W...
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carolinagirl
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3
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461
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Return
(Preview)
I am not quite sure what I am planning to say, so please forgive my ramblings and what are sure to be many grammatical errors. I want to return to Al-Anon. After about 10 meetings, I quit going. No matter the amazing relief I felt the first meeting as I finally felt like I could release some of my pent up emot...
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tropicalrozes
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6
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542
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And the verdict is.......
(Preview)
Well, I started out ok then got a call from the realtor that my credit (mostly because of the truck the A lost GRRRRRRRRR) is not sufficient and they would need an additional month's rent for the condo. I asked him to please check my rental history and call those references and explained all the bad mark...
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carolinagirl
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6
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442
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New to this sight and to Al-Anon
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I am new to this sight and new to Al-Anon. My boyfriend is going through cocaine rehab and I don't know what to do to support him. I don't know what to expect. He is through withdraw here at the house and I don't know what to expect. If anyone can help me I would appreciate it. Thanks sport...
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sportscraz2044
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6
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459
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A and I had counseling today...
(Preview)
Hi, Just wanted to say we went to counseling today, and discussed big-time my issues with trusting him, or should I say, complete lack of trust for him. My A said to the counselor how he is really working his 12 step program, and how he is doing well. He said he has changed so much, he can't understa...
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lmt123
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10
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486
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Need some help for a friend
(Preview)
I need some suggestions/guidance/advice in regards to a friend. She has been in recovery from addictions for years, but her husband is an active alcoholic. The major meltdown has been a long time coming, and now that she has decided the marriage just isn't going to work, and the kids are profoundly af...
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Tenderheartsks
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8
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562
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The blame game, are they conscious of it?
(Preview)
When an A blames everyone else for their drinking, do they know that they're full of it? Or do they actually believe their excuses?
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braveheartlioncarebear
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11
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687
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since a few are from NJ, Al-anon Unity day in NJ
(Preview)
Unity day, September 15th in NJ is a day where members of Al-anon join together acrossed NJ at multiple meeting sites and have the same meeting, with the same topics, at the same time. I plan on being at the district 1 meeting barring a soccer game, LOL Unity Day Revisited Agenda 9:30am Registration 10:...
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bobump
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0
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532
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LANI HAS BEEN BANNED:))
(Preview)
If anyone of my Al-Anon OP's can recitify this, I would appreciate it. I was in and then went back a little later and was found myself banned. I know you don't really mean it. Love, Lani
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Lani
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2
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467
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Sending healing prayers
(Preview)
(((((((((((((nmike))))))))))))))) I don't know when you will be on again, but wanted to send you healing prayers that your shoulder surgery goes well. Hope the recovery isn't too uncomfortable and that you get all the care and support you need. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take good care. Y...
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Leetle
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3
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319
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My waffling has stopped
(Preview)
Ever since I found out about my AH's drug problem almost 2 years ago, I have waffled on what to do. Do I stay or do I go? I worked up my "Plan B" right from the start, which was divorce. And I steadily worked towards that goal. With each step I took towards that goal, I would get sick to my stomac...
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QOD
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7
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463
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Ten Guidelines From God
(Preview)
Quite Worrying:
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing
that comes your way?
Put It On The List:
Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the...
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Peggy7
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2
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391
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To Gailey
(Preview)
Hi Gailey: I'm so sorry about your AS but I'm glad I found someone who can relate to me and me to them. I love my ftf meetings, but mostly it's dealing with alcoholic spouses. See, my son is different. I KNOW he would drink and drive with his kids. He's an addict who can't wait for his next fix. A little histor...
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sonja ja
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0
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335
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Feeling Down
(Preview)
Hello everyone! Hope your all doing fine. Today is my 10th wedding anniversary to my "A" hubby and I am feeling down. He has forgotten again for four years now. Every year he forgets I feel like crap. He is sober today, so I thought maybe this year he would remember seems as tho he's not drinkin...
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albertarose
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5
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463
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Oh it isn't fun to fight
(Preview)
I posted a few days ago about how well we were doing. I know any marriage normal or otherwise has ups and downs...well we hit a really big down tonight. Background info...I am 10 weeks pregnant and have been having complications with the pregnancy. So...stress there is in my life. yeah. But this last w...
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lil_pieces
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5
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529
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And the verdict is.......
(Preview)
hmm don't know how that happened. -- Edited by carolinagirl at 16:09, 2007-08-16
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carolinagirl
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0
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257
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One dog down one more to go.
(Preview)
one dog was delivered to me last night. She is so relieved I can see it in her. I had a friend help me move quite a bit of stuff last night. Now I face another big night of moving furniture (I really have very very little). The plan is to have the other dog arrive next week. I am hoping that he will not take her bac...
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maresie2
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4
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374
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Fearful
(Preview)
My A husband recently went on a 2 day drinking binge. Lucky for me he did it at home and didnt sleep for 2 days. He kept me up and wanted to argue about all the things I had done to him. I really did try and not engage him, but I guess we all have a boiling point. I threw his bourbon and coke on him. I enjoyed th...
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BrandyCane
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8
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406
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Depressed
(Preview)
So as you may know, my sober A addict BF moved out 6 weeks ago now.....his stuff was in the basement until 1 1/2 weeks ago.....I have asked him not to call and he is "gone" . It is so good to have peace in my home and in my soul again....peace for my kids....we are so much better off.
But in this abs...
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Fifi
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6
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349
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Good News!
(Preview)
I took off early yesterday and went out to look at a few prospects in the area I want to move and I found a really great condo for a great price about 1 minute from the beach! I am very excited about it and the realtor even said that he might be able to get me in before school starts. I will hear today! Everyo...
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carolinagirl
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10
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474
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GIRLFRIENDS
(Preview)
Girlfriend. THere the ones that you tell every thing too. I have know lots of different type of girlfriends. I know have the girlfriends I have here online who I love to death that know my every sercet. There are the girlfriends at work who you know and trust alot of them. There are also there are girlfrie...
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nycbt
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1
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392
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Loved one is BiPolar and an Alcoholic
(Preview)
Has anyone here been admitted to inpatient rehab, or a loved one for dual diagnosis? How effective is inpatient rehabilitation? My fiance is court-mandated to go to his alcohol/drug program. He has been non-compliant recently, and he even missed a blood test. His counselor is going to write up a b...
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mentallyill
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5
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685
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