Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jen · Jen

I realize that I have always wanted to be the number one in my A's life. I now realize that that is completely unfair of me to expect that, but can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that I am always going to take a back seat to his recovery program. I understand that this is necessary. So what is it about th...

frazzled · frazzled

i responded to my own topic so i wasnt sure if those of you who responded to my first post would get this. some one please let me know the proper way to respond to replies and i will do it the right way! thanks. anyway here is what i said{ well when i found all these responses today i have to tell you i just wante...

Diva · Diva

Don't you enjoy those days when everyone you come in contact with is friendly and helpful? When all works out to the good? Today has been one of those days. Started early this morning when I was doing some gardening in the front yard. Sister phoned. She has purchased the condo she wanted on South Pad...

jaja · jaja

But relief is what I've been feeling since yesterday afternoon when I discovered that the reason why my A never showed up or called Saturday afternoon was because he did start drinking again. And,in all honesty,I had at one time often felt that way when he's disappeared. Angry but relieved. I t...

serendipity · serendipity

I re-connected with an old friend last month a couple of weeks before the tradgedy. His brother is one of my best friends so I have kept up with him thru the grapevine. I have heard about his run in's with the law, his experimentations with drugs and his stint in rehab and on probation. He called me one day t...

maresie2 · maresie2

I'm still very much in the process of moving. I had to get a storage unit and will be moving stuff in there over the next few weeks. I feel incredibly lonely without the A;'s drama taking up center stage. I also feel very concerned for him and his legal issues. I feel a complete fool for putting up with him...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I am a fortunate woman. Once upon a time...a girl was born who was the apple of her daddy's eye. She laughed a lot, she played a lot, her imagination always soared...and she absolutely loved life. Anything was possible then.. Time passed, as time does, and with it the girl discovered that not everyone w...

lil_pieces · lil_pieces

I haven't posted in a while but I have lurked. I must admit that I split my time between this site and another that deals with emotional manipulation/abuse. The good news is that for the most part, the rules are the same for both A and EA...Detach and Take care of yourself. I am trying to let go of resent...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))))), My program was put to the test yesterday when I came home. Without going into too much details, lets just say there was a hiccup in recovery. I thought something might be going on, but I wasn't sure. Well AH told me very calmy with tears in his eyes. He was so ashamed. The old m...

lmt123 · lmt123

Hi all, I am reeling again from the counseling session that my AsoberH and I had last week. He just sits there with this calm expression on his face, knowing he has been lying to me (and to the law, for that matter), saying to the therapist how he is just this adolescent alcoholic (AA speak) and that cause...

Jen · Jen

I have tried and tried to believe in my AH, but he just seems incapable of telling the truth. I am so tired at this point of dealing with him that last night I finally told him to just leave me alone. I don't want discuss anything right now except necessary business stuff. I am looking into finding some work...

Diva · Diva

My partner A is forever needing tools. Granted he is working hard on restoring our historic house, and is doing a fine job. I am talking about expensive tools, not hammers and screw drivers, but joiners, routers, table saws, reciprocating saws, some huge round thing that cuts angles...the list goes...

debilyn · debilyn

Are you busy moving? Hope you can pace yourself some. Please sit down every once in awhile. I mean it. We have to. Hope you and the critters are enjoying each other. I can't tell you how proud I am of you for hanging in there and taking responsibility for your animal family. I know from experience, sometim...

binohio · binohio

Hi, Okay, now where to go from here. Seems to be a problem i have. Never knowing where to start or what to say. i have been, as has been said, "lurking" around here for a long time. Not very new to Alanon, but all the same it stll feels very new to me. Maybe some basics to start off with. Grew up in...

ddub · ddub

I don't want to keep singing the same song so decided to ask if I am mixed up again. It is so hard to keep your mind straight. I am doing so much better not reacting or not trying to fix other family members dilemas so everything is controlled by me. I am working hard at having no expectations except I thou...

jaja · jaja

Obsessing. I think that's the word for what I'm doing again. Since last night. I didn't get much sleep because of it. My A has been on my mind constantly no matter what I do to occupy myself. Things have been going well a whole month and a half. My daughter has been home from college and my grandaughter...

pabell · pabell

Iv'e been going to f2f meetings 2 to 3 times a week. I think this week I'm going to need to up them. My short story version: We have been married 17years, and together 24years. My AH has obstained from alcohol use for 8 month now after 3 detox attempts in 2.5 years. He still is smoking pot. He still attends a...

october · october

I am newly married (2 years) and my husband has been sober for over 20 years. My problem is that he does not know how to show affection. He has a brick wall up and I don't know how to break it down. He is very rigid, everything is either black or white, and has even told me that he has no problems talking with...

verenda · verenda

I have not posted here in a very long time. I married my husband Dec 30 2006. Soon after our marriage he became increasingly abusive to the point of physical abuse when he was drunk. He was always somewaht emotionally abusive, in the form of jealousy, possessiveness, but when drinking it was much worse...

Diva · Diva

I decided to go back to Home Depot and get the chair. Should have bought it yesterday, but that opportunity passed. It was $34.00 yesterday. Remember that. Today when I decided to go, A partner offered to go with me in case I needed help getting the thing in the back of the car. I said, "OK,&quo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Is it this feeling that I have that no matter what happens everything is going to be ok?

Fifi · Fifi

As I read I am not always aware of the vocabulary in Alanon as I am relatively new...my question for the day .....what is meant by calling our A's our qualifier? If that was the only question I actually had what an easy day this would be....I have so many....like why can't I sleep? Why does this feel like...

Gailey · Gailey

I GOT IT!!!!!! I am sitting at my desk with a headache and feeling very weepy at the moment. Here is why: I have a 1 bedroom apartment attached to my home that is in the suburbs. Since December a friend of mine, who left her husband, was living there. Things have started to settle down for her and now she is bu...

evey · evey

Hello All, AH got DWI and had his license revoked. Is our car insurance still valid since his license is revoked? I just thought of this today. He is the primary insurance holder and all cars are registered to him. (I am in NY). He was arrained, not tried yet. Any experieces out there, please share. Thank...

Fifi · Fifi

Help....I am so overwhelmed by my life.....it is just me....no A anymore (other than the shell shock I feel in the aftermath of him which is very real and present). BUt I try and work at 3 different locations...long hard days...then come home to take care of two kids...the house is a mess, lawn unmowed,...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I met my AHsober when I was 17, and we've just passed our 18 yr anniversary. When we first got married, I supported us while he was in grad school and then he became the breadwinner of the family while I stayed home with the kids. I continued the role of money-manager, mainly because we just never change...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners. Thank you all for your support. Here and cyber space adn at face to face and all my friends and coworkers. walked into surgery with my support system in place. sa w my A lasat week and he ignored me and didn't ask about my upcoming surgery. didnt worry about it said a prayer but during the surg...

Jenna_77 · Jenna_77

This is my first post and really, my first visit to this particular site. I googled in desperation and this is where I landed. I hope you don't mind me dropping in to scream a little. I just broke up with my alcoholic signifigant other last saturday. (the 18th of Aug.) I have heard nothing from him and...

CJ098 · CJ098

Hello everyone! I finally got registered after 3 days of reading everyone's posts. I am so glad to be here. It's so comforting knowing I'm not alone and there are other people dealing with what I am too. I finally feel like I'm headed in the right direction. Ready for my book?! I am living with my AH...

Alethea · Alethea

I have been feeling lost and alone for a long time now. Maybe it has only been like this for 3 years, as long as I have been with her, but it feels like lifetimes when you are consumed every second of every moment with the A & the alcohol. The drinking wasn't always this bad & there was a time tha...

Toni · Toni

Well, I have done a little bit of reading on co-dependency, funny that I have heard the term, have known all along that I was enabling but I avoided any literature or conversations that dealt with the subject. I think that I was not just afraid but certain that I would find myself within the words and the...

joanie5 · joanie5

Hi there all I am on my neighbor's computer and my computer has to be wiped clean so I am not sure when I will have it up and running so Intill I am seen I will need some one to cover my Monday night chair. I hope it will not take to long plus I will have to set up micro. Thanks so much Joanie

ddub · ddub

I'm a bit lonely & sad as my college kids started to move out today - a normal emotion and happy for them. The family dynamics change as members come & go...... It's even more pronounced in an A family as they are some of the only ones who really knows what goes on at home. My eldest two seem mor...

hopefully · hopefully

I found AlAnon & this board in April & try to read your stories & comments daily. I also go to f2f meetings twice a week & all have helped so much in bringing some peace & solice into my life. I believe many of our stories are different but the pain in our hearts & souls is the same. M...

Denoraphy · Denoraphy

I am having a hard time following through with the alanon program. I have not been to a f2f meeting in over a month and honestly I did not feel like I was getting much from the meeting I was going to. The group that I was going to focuses on the 12 steps and it seems everyone there has been doing this for som...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

I don't even know what to write. I just wanted for someone to remember her with me :( Her mother didn't have a funeral for her and sent me a copied paper saying she brought her daughter home in a beautiful bronze box. Sorry but that didn't say "good-bye" to me. It was selfish on her part. She said...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

"...Until you get it together, I am no longer paying for your perscriptions. And if you keep acting like a butt, I'm gonna cut you off my health insurance." So, this was the message on my machine last night. It couldn't have come at a better time, because I had just woken up from heavy sedati...

Chetch · Chetch

I came home last night from work and my AH was so drunk he could barely stand up or talk. We had a few weeks ago reached a compromise where he said he would only drink on the week ends. His drinking has gotten really out of control for the past two years and he is always promising to quit. The longest this ha...

kitty · kitty

Two months ago, my mom's schnauzer died rapidly from cancer at only 8. He was my favorite dog of hers, a true care-taker, never wanting to fight but only keep peace. Still greiving from this, last Sunday... it had to be 105* in Houston. The A was cleaning out the big truck, closed the doors & wen...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Everything falls together instead of everything falling apart? I just found out I am getting reimbursed almost $300 from work for one of the classes I took plus the book and calculator I had to buy for it. I also filed a claim on my medical for a series of shots $120 each, and got back a letter requesting...

frazzled · frazzled

omg i am so happy to finally be able to tell someone how i feel. i am ready to explode. this might be a long post bit i will try and keep it simple. i have been with my guy since 2000 or 2001 i cant remember at the moment and it doesnt matter. he has always had a problem i guess but just over the past year or more, it...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

August 22, 2007 Stupid (replaced name...) Its been a year now that we have been separated and living apart. I am moving on with my life and apparently from you letter you are just standing still or running in circles. It amazes me that you think that I owe you something. You had places to stay, great jo...

maresie2 · maresie2

Last weekend I had a huge row with the A because he told he was not going to help me to move. That was after he asked me to foot a huge bill to help him move immediately. I did not say no to that just asked him to think it through. The A is well aware I have been ill lately and my stamina is down. He doesn't care. E...

maresie2 · maresie2

I got everything moved last night. I am worn out. Now everything is a huge mess, boxes everywhere and I am camped out for a day or so. I have to go back tonight and clean up the old place and hand over the keys. That'll really be it for the night. Then tomorrow I can begin the task of organixing and reorganizin...

serendipity · serendipity

I haven't even gotten out of bed yet. I am still going over what happened the other day with all the text messages, the I miss you's, the I need to see you's. And then yesterday he called and left me a voice mail saying that he recieved the letter from the mediation people telling him that I was unwilling to d...

canadianguy · canadianguy

"Words can be only used for two things..... to BUILD UP, or to BREAK DOWN." I remember really being moved by this statement at a meeting one time a few years ago, and it is sooooo true. I find myself getting judgemental, or self-righteous, or condascending, or gossiping, etc., etc..... an...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) I'm having one of those days when I feel that no sooner do I get finished putting out one fire another one pops up. Its been that way for the last three weeks. There is no time to get exhausted and quit because if I quit I'd be surrendering to creditors and idiots who could care less about...

Jasocal · Jasocal

I'm not ready to hit the "Send" button yet. Partly because of the shitstorm I'm going to endure but a small piece of me is worried about something more awful. I'm finally in a position where I may HAVE to expose my wife's drinking to someone and she's never been in that position before and I...

Toni · Toni

Hi there, I am a mother of a recovering meth addict. Is it okay for me to join this group and discuss issues of this nature, haven't read too much yet but see just alcoholism issues so far??? I could really use some advise and support in learning how to detach from her drama and her problems. My husband and I...

Kim65 · Kim65

I just got off the phone with my lawyer, who updated me on work done to date, and then told me that in order for the lawsuit (to get the A off the property title and "settle" the assets) they would need another ten to fifteen grand. I USED to have that kind of money laying around! But since I no lon...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so I'm a little upset today. I got a letter from the A (hole) yesterday from the jail. He actually had the nerve to say please don't act like one of those $#i^ head women who uses the kids or keeps me from them or something along that line and then went on like I had done that in the past. Now that got my blo...

mstrixe2 · mstrixe2

Good Morning Everyone, I have been reading on this board a few times everyday and even replying to some of the post that really touched home with me. My problem is that I want so much to share and get some of this wonderful feedback that I see offered, but getting from my head to my mouth or rather fin...

serendipity · serendipity

My ex sent me a text last night asking if I was alone and I wasn't so I sent one back saying no and then I shut off my phone. He sent one more that he misses me. I got that this morning and sent him one that said I miss him too. I do. I have been. So, he sends me another this afternoon asking to see me today at 6. I said...

Maria123 · Maria123

This struck me very profoundly. My 20 year old overheard a story of an alcoholic needing a liver transplant. The guy had about 4 years of sobriety but is drinking again heavily. When my son heard that "so and so" was at the bar drinking, he said "Don't you think that's totally disres...

maire rua · maire rua

as some of you know, the ex-A has been staying with me since he got sick in the new years, well the health has worsened considerably from a bowel complaint, he got the news today and he sees the consultant on 23rd september, prayers please,

sonja ja · sonja ja

First let me say thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you. I wonder if someone can comment on this...or if anyone has ever had this problem? I seem to be obsessed with death. As if it's the ONLY outcome for my son that there will ever be. I have buried him over and over again in my mind an...

maresie2 · maresie2

I'm in for a long night tonight with the final part of the move. I've just been too exhausted to do that much this week. There is a whole emotional exhaustion in me from dealing with the A over the last 3 months. I'm now 3 days into no contact. I have to say it is a relief but there is also a fall out. So tonight...

serendipity · serendipity

What won't I do so that I don't have to look at me. I hear the "be gentle with yourself" and " if a friend were going thru this what would you say to them?" But even with a friend there comes a moment when you have to say "GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR FANNY!" When being kind and gen...

maresie2 · maresie2

Right now the A has me labelled to everyone as a betraying mean person. I am supposed to just keep on taking his crazy self destructive behavior and supporting hm regardless. He did not tell me about his hit and run but that is acceptable. He did not tell me that he did not pay the rent either. He did not tell...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))) This is me nearly 2 years into my programme...lol And I'm "Smiling".... Still got somethings to work on, and take care of me...still on the "Thin" side.. But I am getting there.... Thanks to all my Alanonics......lol Love Your Crazy Ally Girl...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Just when I think I'm doing good. (Preview) I realize that I have always wanted to be the number one in my A's life. I now realize that that is completely unfair of me to expect that, but can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that I am always going to take a back seat to his recovery program. I understand that this is necessary. So what is it about th...	Jen	3	545	Aug 28, 2007 by abbyal
	thanks for all the feedback (Preview) i responded to my own topic so i wasnt sure if those of you who responded to my first post would get this. some one please let me know the proper way to respond to replies and i will do it the right way! thanks. anyway here is what i said{ well when i found all these responses today i have to tell you i just wante...	frazzled	4	551	Aug 28, 2007 by frazzled
	Today has been a great day!! (Preview) Don't you enjoy those days when everyone you come in contact with is friendly and helpful? When all works out to the good? Today has been one of those days. Started early this morning when I was doing some gardening in the front yard. Sister phoned. She has purchased the condo she wanted on South Pad...	Diva	5	624	Aug 28, 2007 by bobump
	Relief that he's drunk? I must be crazy (Preview) But relief is what I've been feeling since yesterday afternoon when I discovered that the reason why my A never showed up or called Saturday afternoon was because he did start drinking again. And,in all honesty,I had at one time often felt that way when he's disappeared. Angry but relieved. I t...	jaja	5	676	Aug 28, 2007 by carolinagirl
	The other part of the story (Preview) I re-connected with an old friend last month a couple of weeks before the tradgedy. His brother is one of my best friends so I have kept up with him thru the grapevine. I have heard about his run in's with the law, his experimentations with drugs and his stint in rehab and on probation. He called me one day t...	serendipity	4	601	Aug 28, 2007 by carolinagirl
	plan a, b,c (Preview) I'm still very much in the process of moving. I had to get a storage unit and will be moving stuff in there over the next few weeks. I feel incredibly lonely without the A;'s drama taking up center stage. I also feel very concerned for him and his legal issues. I feel a complete fool for putting up with him...	maresie2	3	612	Aug 28, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Once upon a Time ... (Preview) I am a fortunate woman. Once upon a time...a girl was born who was the apple of her daddy's eye. She laughed a lot, she played a lot, her imagination always soared...and she absolutely loved life. Anything was possible then.. Time passed, as time does, and with it the girl discovered that not everyone w...	kismetstrand	11	715	Aug 28, 2007 by carolinagirl
	how do you forgive? (Preview) I haven't posted in a while but I have lurked. I must admit that I split my time between this site and another that deals with emotional manipulation/abuse. The good news is that for the most part, the rules are the same for both A and EA...Detach and Take care of yourself. I am trying to let go of resent...	lil_pieces	5	630	Aug 28, 2007 by renah
	I know this program works! (Preview) ((((((((Family))))))), My program was put to the test yesterday when I came home. Without going into too much details, lets just say there was a hiccup in recovery. I thought something might be going on, but I wasn't sure. Well AH told me very calmy with tears in his eyes. He was so ashamed. The old m...	Karilynn	6	633	Aug 27, 2007 by tea2
	consequences... (Preview) Hi all, I am reeling again from the counseling session that my AsoberH and I had last week. He just sits there with this calm expression on his face, knowing he has been lying to me (and to the law, for that matter), saying to the therapist how he is just this adolescent alcoholic (AA speak) and that cause...	lmt123	8	485	Aug 27, 2007 by lmt123
	lies, lies, lies (Preview) I have tried and tried to believe in my AH, but he just seems incapable of telling the truth. I am so tired at this point of dealing with him that last night I finally told him to just leave me alone. I don't want discuss anything right now except necessary business stuff. I am looking into finding some work...	Jen	6	625	Aug 27, 2007 by lmt123
	Where's the logic? (Preview) My partner A is forever needing tools. Granted he is working hard on restoring our historic house, and is doing a fine job. I am talking about expensive tools, not hammers and screw drivers, but joiners, routers, table saws, reciprocating saws, some huge round thing that cuts angles...the list goes...	Diva	14	773	Aug 27, 2007 by Diva
	Hey Marisie? (Preview) Are you busy moving? Hope you can pace yourself some. Please sit down every once in awhile. I mean it. We have to. Hope you and the critters are enjoying each other. I can't tell you how proud I am of you for hanging in there and taking responsibility for your animal family. I know from experience, sometim...	debilyn	1	328	Aug 27, 2007 by maresie2
	showing up (Preview) Hi, Okay, now where to go from here. Seems to be a problem i have. Never knowing where to start or what to say. i have been, as has been said, "lurking" around here for a long time. Not very new to Alanon, but all the same it stll feels very new to me. Maybe some basics to start off with. Grew up in...	binohio	7	587	Aug 27, 2007 by binohio
	something or nothing (Preview) I don't want to keep singing the same song so decided to ask if I am mixed up again. It is so hard to keep your mind straight. I am doing so much better not reacting or not trying to fix other family members dilemas so everything is controlled by me. I am working hard at having no expectations except I thou...	ddub	3	409	Aug 27, 2007 by Jen
	Help. I've fallen and can't get up! (Preview) Obsessing. I think that's the word for what I'm doing again. Since last night. I didn't get much sleep because of it. My A has been on my mind constantly no matter what I do to occupy myself. Things have been going well a whole month and a half. My daughter has been home from college and my grandaughter...	jaja	5	558	Aug 27, 2007 by Jen
	I trusted again, and again it was turned on me (Preview) Iv'e been going to f2f meetings 2 to 3 times a week. I think this week I'm going to need to up them. My short story version: We have been married 17years, and together 24years. My AH has obstained from alcohol use for 8 month now after 3 detox attempts in 2.5 years. He still is smoking pot. He still attends a...	pabell	6	428	Aug 26, 2007 by nmike
	recovering alcoholic/addict husband (Preview) I am newly married (2 years) and my husband has been sober for over 20 years. My problem is that he does not know how to show affection. He has a brick wall up and I don't know how to break it down. He is very rigid, everything is either black or white, and has even told me that he has no problems talking with...	october	6	922	Aug 26, 2007 by Kim65
	Alcoholic, abusive husband (Preview) I have not posted here in a very long time. I married my husband Dec 30 2006. Soon after our marriage he became increasingly abusive to the point of physical abuse when he was drunk. He was always somewaht emotionally abusive, in the form of jealousy, possessiveness, but when drinking it was much worse...	verenda	5	798	Aug 26, 2007 by abbyal
	The chair...finale... (Preview) I decided to go back to Home Depot and get the chair. Should have bought it yesterday, but that opportunity passed. It was $34.00 yesterday. Remember that. Today when I decided to go, A partner offered to go with me in case I needed help getting the thing in the back of the car. I said, "OK,&quo...	Diva	10	500	Aug 26, 2007 by Kim65
	What is serenity? (Preview) Is it this feeling that I have that no matter what happens everything is going to be ok?	carolinagirl	6	2019	Aug 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	Qualifier? (Preview) As I read I am not always aware of the vocabulary in Alanon as I am relatively new...my question for the day .....what is meant by calling our A's our qualifier? If that was the only question I actually had what an easy day this would be....I have so many....like why can't I sleep? Why does this feel like...	Fifi	3	7819	Aug 26, 2007 by Loupiness
	I just kept praying for strength until........ (Preview) I GOT IT!!!!!! I am sitting at my desk with a headache and feeling very weepy at the moment. Here is why: I have a 1 bedroom apartment attached to my home that is in the suburbs. Since December a friend of mine, who left her husband, was living there. Things have started to settle down for her and now she is bu...	Gailey	10	588	Aug 26, 2007 by Karilynn
	DWI Question? (Preview) Hello All, AH got DWI and had his license revoked. Is our car insurance still valid since his license is revoked? I just thought of this today. He is the primary insurance holder and all cars are registered to him. (I am in NY). He was arrained, not tried yet. Any experieces out there, please share. Thank...	evey	4	576	Aug 25, 2007 by shebear
	prioritizing? (Preview) Help....I am so overwhelmed by my life.....it is just me....no A anymore (other than the shell shock I feel in the aftermath of him which is very real and present). BUt I try and work at 3 different locations...long hard days...then come home to take care of two kids...the house is a mess, lawn unmowed,...	Fifi	7	584	Aug 25, 2007 by Fifi
	Being a grown-up... (Preview) I met my AHsober when I was 17, and we've just passed our 18 yr anniversary. When we first got married, I supported us while he was in grad school and then he became the breadwinner of the family while I stayed home with the kids. I continued the role of money-manager, mainly because we just never change...	Loupiness	6	519	Aug 25, 2007 by Jen
	the pain of surgery has its blessings (Preview) Hi Alanoners. Thank you all for your support. Here and cyber space adn at face to face and all my friends and coworkers. walked into surgery with my support system in place. sa w my A lasat week and he ignored me and didn't ask about my upcoming surgery. didnt worry about it said a prayer but during the surg...	nmike	5	389	Aug 25, 2007 by Maria123
	I think I am losing it. (Preview) This is my first post and really, my first visit to this particular site. I googled in desperation and this is where I landed. I hope you don't mind me dropping in to scream a little. I just broke up with my alcoholic signifigant other last saturday. (the 18th of Aug.) I have heard nothing from him and...	Jenna_77	11	1254	Aug 25, 2007 by Maria123
	I'm finally here! (Preview) Hello everyone! I finally got registered after 3 days of reading everyone's posts. I am so glad to be here. It's so comforting knowing I'm not alone and there are other people dealing with what I am too. I finally feel like I'm headed in the right direction. Ready for my book?! I am living with my AH...	CJ098	6	378	Aug 25, 2007 by Maria123
	Lost & Alone (Preview) I have been feeling lost and alone for a long time now. Maybe it has only been like this for 3 years, as long as I have been with her, but it feels like lifetimes when you are consumed every second of every moment with the A & the alcohol. The drinking wasn't always this bad & there was a time tha...	Alethea	5	1063	Aug 25, 2007 by Maria123
	One day, one thing at a time... (Preview) Well, I have done a little bit of reading on co-dependency, funny that I have heard the term, have known all along that I was enabling but I avoided any literature or conversations that dealt with the subject. I think that I was not just afraid but certain that I would find myself within the words and the...	Toni	6	476	Aug 25, 2007 by Maria123
	My computer is crashed (Preview) Hi there all I am on my neighbor's computer and my computer has to be wiped clean so I am not sure when I will have it up and running so Intill I am seen I will need some one to cover my Monday night chair. I hope it will not take to long plus I will have to set up micro. Thanks so much Joanie	joanie5	1	321	Aug 25, 2007 by Maria123
	step back, step forward two (Preview) I'm a bit lonely & sad as my college kids started to move out today - a normal emotion and happy for them. The family dynamics change as members come & go...... It's even more pronounced in an A family as they are some of the only ones who really knows what goes on at home. My eldest two seem mor...	ddub	5	600	Aug 25, 2007 by Maria123
	Thankful for this sounding board (Preview) I found AlAnon & this board in April & try to read your stories & comments daily. I also go to f2f meetings twice a week & all have helped so much in bringing some peace & solice into my life. I believe many of our stories are different but the pain in our hearts & souls is the same. M...	hopefully	2	298	Aug 25, 2007 by leo
	Not doing too good working my program (Preview) I am having a hard time following through with the alanon program. I have not been to a f2f meeting in over a month and honestly I did not feel like I was getting much from the meeting I was going to. The group that I was going to focuses on the 12 steps and it seems everyone there has been doing this for som...	Denoraphy	8	643	Aug 24, 2007 by Denoraphy
	One year today since my Amber passed away (Preview) I don't even know what to write. I just wanted for someone to remember her with me :( Her mother didn't have a funeral for her and sent me a copied paper saying she brought her daughter home in a beautiful bronze box. Sorry but that didn't say "good-bye" to me. It was selfish on her part. She said...	Friendofyours	19	529	Aug 24, 2007 by roygbiv
	No threats allowed! (Preview) "...Until you get it together, I am no longer paying for your perscriptions. And if you keep acting like a butt, I'm gonna cut you off my health insurance." So, this was the message on my machine last night. It couldn't have come at a better time, because I had just woken up from heavy sedati...	Tiger2006	7	477	Aug 24, 2007 by maire rua
	I've had it (Preview) I came home last night from work and my AH was so drunk he could barely stand up or talk. We had a few weeks ago reached a compromise where he said he would only drink on the week ends. His drinking has gotten really out of control for the past two years and he is always promising to quit. The longest this ha...	Chetch	5	582	Aug 24, 2007 by Jerry F
	Murdered Dog/Forgiveness Issues (Preview) Two months ago, my mom's schnauzer died rapidly from cancer at only 8. He was my favorite dog of hers, a true care-taker, never wanting to fight but only keep peace. Still greiving from this, last Sunday... it had to be 105* in Houston. The A was cleaning out the big truck, closed the doors & wen...	kitty	9	685	Aug 23, 2007 by Jenna_77
	Isn't it nice when (Preview) Everything falls together instead of everything falling apart? I just found out I am getting reimbursed almost $300 from work for one of the classes I took plus the book and calculator I had to buy for it. I also filed a claim on my medical for a series of shots $120 each, and got back a letter requesting...	carolinagirl	5	432	Aug 23, 2007 by QOD
	my recovering alcoholic and patience (Preview) omg i am so happy to finally be able to tell someone how i feel. i am ready to explode. this might be a long post bit i will try and keep it simple. i have been with my guy since 2000 or 2001 i cant remember at the moment and it doesnt matter. he has always had a problem i guess but just over the past year or more, it...	frazzled	8	1081	Aug 23, 2007 by frazzled
	Letter to the A burn or send? (Preview) August 22, 2007 Stupid (replaced name...) Its been a year now that we have been separated and living apart. I am moving on with my life and apparently from you letter you are just standing still or running in circles. It amazes me that you think that I owe you something. You had places to stay, great jo...	carolinagirl	7	763	Aug 23, 2007 by carolinagirl
	4 days in to no contact. (Preview) Last weekend I had a huge row with the A because he told he was not going to help me to move. That was after he asked me to foot a huge bill to help him move immediately. I did not say no to that just asked him to think it through. The A is well aware I have been ill lately and my stamina is down. He doesn't care. E...	maresie2	1	494	Aug 23, 2007 by carolinagirl
	phase four of move (Preview) I got everything moved last night. I am worn out. Now everything is a huge mess, boxes everywhere and I am camped out for a day or so. I have to go back tonight and clean up the old place and hand over the keys. That'll really be it for the night. Then tomorrow I can begin the task of organixing and reorganizin...	maresie2	1	384	Aug 23, 2007 by carolinagirl
	cranky (Preview) I haven't even gotten out of bed yet. I am still going over what happened the other day with all the text messages, the I miss you's, the I need to see you's. And then yesterday he called and left me a voice mail saying that he recieved the letter from the mediation people telling him that I was unwilling to d...	serendipity	2	813	Aug 23, 2007 by QOD
	Words to live by.... (Preview) "Words can be only used for two things..... to BUILD UP, or to BREAK DOWN." I remember really being moved by this statement at a meeting one time a few years ago, and it is sooooo true. I find myself getting judgemental, or self-righteous, or condascending, or gossiping, etc., etc..... an...	canadianguy	4	496	Aug 23, 2007 by cstwwt
	Still fighting the good fight (Preview) (((MIP Family))) I'm having one of those days when I feel that no sooner do I get finished putting out one fire another one pops up. Its been that way for the last three weeks. There is no time to get exhausted and quit because if I quit I'd be surrendering to creditors and idiots who could care less about...	twinmom2	5	516	Aug 23, 2007 by sweetums
	I'm in desperate trouble. A letter to my wife. (Preview) I'm not ready to hit the "Send" button yet. Partly because of the shitstorm I'm going to endure but a small piece of me is worried about something more awful. I'm finally in a position where I may HAVE to expose my wife's drinking to someone and she's never been in that position before and I...	Jasocal	18	1194	Aug 23, 2007 by leo
	An opening question (Preview) Hi there, I am a mother of a recovering meth addict. Is it okay for me to join this group and discuss issues of this nature, haven't read too much yet but see just alcoholism issues so far??? I could really use some advise and support in learning how to detach from her drama and her problems. My husband and I...	Toni	12	565	Aug 23, 2007 by leo
	God's plan (????) (Preview) I just got off the phone with my lawyer, who updated me on work done to date, and then told me that in order for the lawsuit (to get the A off the property title and "settle" the assets) they would need another ten to fifteen grand. I USED to have that kind of money laying around! But since I no lon...	Kim65	6	564	Aug 23, 2007 by carolinagirl
	minimize...minimize...minimize (Preview) Ok so I'm a little upset today. I got a letter from the A (hole) yesterday from the jail. He actually had the nerve to say please don't act like one of those $#i^ head women who uses the kids or keeps me from them or something along that line and then went on like I had done that in the past. Now that got my blo...	carolinagirl	7	340	Aug 22, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Where to start (Preview) Good Morning Everyone, I have been reading on this board a few times everyday and even replying to some of the post that really touched home with me. My problem is that I want so much to share and get some of this wonderful feedback that I see offered, but getting from my head to my mouth or rather fin...	mstrixe2	5	509	Aug 22, 2007 by mstrixe2
	confused and scared (Preview) My ex sent me a text last night asking if I was alone and I wasn't so I sent one back saying no and then I shut off my phone. He sent one more that he misses me. I got that this morning and sent him one that said I miss him too. I do. I have been. So, he sends me another this afternoon asking to see me today at 6. I said...	serendipity	7	627	Aug 22, 2007 by aunitedway
	more outta the mouths of babes (Preview) This struck me very profoundly. My 20 year old overheard a story of an alcoholic needing a liver transplant. The guy had about 4 years of sobriety but is drinking again heavily. When my son heard that "so and so" was at the bar drinking, he said "Don't you think that's totally disres...	Maria123	0	352	Aug 22, 2007 by Maria123
	difficult times (Preview) as some of you know, the ex-A has been staying with me since he got sick in the new years, well the health has worsened considerably from a bowel complaint, he got the news today and he sees the consultant on 23rd september, prayers please,	maire rua	7	444	Aug 22, 2007 by Maria123
	Obsessed with Death!! (Preview) First let me say thank you from the bottom of my heart to each and every one of you. I wonder if someone can comment on this...or if anyone has ever had this problem? I seem to be obsessed with death. As if it's the ONLY outcome for my son that there will ever be. I have buried him over and over again in my mind an...	sonja ja	9	558	Aug 22, 2007 by Toni
	keepng it simple (Preview) I'm in for a long night tonight with the final part of the move. I've just been too exhausted to do that much this week. There is a whole emotional exhaustion in me from dealing with the A over the last 3 months. I'm now 3 days into no contact. I have to say it is a relief but there is also a fall out. So tonight...	maresie2	4	338	Aug 22, 2007 by QOD
	What Won't I do.... (Preview) What won't I do so that I don't have to look at me. I hear the "be gentle with yourself" and " if a friend were going thru this what would you say to them?" But even with a friend there comes a moment when you have to say "GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR FANNY!" When being kind and gen...	serendipity	5	374	Aug 22, 2007 by maresie2
	trusting an A /abawndoning myself (Preview) Right now the A has me labelled to everyone as a betraying mean person. I am supposed to just keep on taking his crazy self destructive behavior and supporting hm regardless. He did not tell me about his hit and run but that is acceptable. He did not tell me that he did not pay the rent either. He did not tell...	maresie2	3	435	Aug 22, 2007 by carolinagirl
	THIS IS ME HAPPY....LOL (Preview) (((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))) This is me nearly 2 years into my programme...lol And I'm "Smiling".... Still got somethings to work on, and take care of me...still on the "Thin" side.. But I am getting there.... Thanks to all my Alanonics......lol Love Your Crazy Ally Girl...	ally	4	331	Aug 22, 2007 by maire rua
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.