Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ddub · ddub

One giant step for helpers and fixers and controlling people is to slow way down with the easy does it slogan. Even after hitting the al anon books, meetings and message boards hard and fast, then slowing down to easy does it with just some daily reading and meetings it is still too fast. Then trying t...

Destynee · Destynee

This is all new to me (Al-Anon). For 2 years after I was married, my AH would go out with his drinking buddies and not come home all night. Since August of 2006 he hasn't done it. But while I was at my mom's 20 minutes ago he took off. I don't think I can do this by myself again. Things have been terrible si...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((((((Everyone))))))))))) It really is amazing as I look back over my life and see how easily I used to accept lies as truth, and manipulation as direction. It is almost like I had a wire unhooked to my BS meter. Maybe it was more my fears ... fear of conflict, fear of letting others down and fear of...

kissers · kissers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClnkLyjrp1Y

alanon_2002 · alanon_2002

Hi, I am living with a A...it seems to have gotten worse. I went to therapy finally to help me deal with my inner anger. I cannot cry in front of him or the verbal argument gets worse. I cannot sleep & have to work. We do very little together. i have tried to do more but the friends come over & its a big i...

wp · wp

Just a note to say Erin has been in my thoughts. Has anyone heard how she is doing? Thanks, mspw

kissers · kissers

In the "Getting Them Sober, volume one" book, it talks about how one of the main things that partners of alcoholics have in common, is trying to show the alcoholic how much we can do for them, instead of even thinking of asking how much they can do for us. This is such a knee-jerk action for us.....

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I recently found a website that has some fantastic tools for recovery on it. One of which is a great outline on detachment. I wish I'd of had this when I first started in the program. Check it out if you wish. www.coping.org The subjects covered are listed on the lefthand side. Barb

loper410 · loper410

I'm looking to attend my first Al-Anon meeting on Tuesday night. I was wondering if it was okay if a friend came with me? I'm really nervous about taking this step and I know if someone came with me then it would make this first step a lot easier. - Julie

QOD · QOD

Ok so after all that my AH said the other night, he just text messaged me. Love u more every day-will be here waiting if u ever want me back in your life What the heck am I supposed to do with that? I mean, the other day he was mad b/c he wasn't getting laid and said we needed to start seeing other people. Now th...

serenity62 · serenity62

Happy Thanks giving to all my Canadian friends. I hope you have a great weekend, I for one will take this weekend to think about all the things I am grateful & thankful for. Living with an A has so many negative things we have to deal with, but we also have alot of positive things in our lives to be gratef...

Jill · Jill

Today is my husband's birthday, and I took him to the Stoogeum (Museum of Stooges!) for a suprise. I am not a stooges fan, but I had no idea how much I would like it. I went in with my prejudices - and I was seduced by the chuckles and giggling of the big crowd as they made their way around the exhibits. I figure...

Maria123 · Maria123

OCTOBER 7TH AGENDA I. OP SCHEDULE II. SECRETARY'S REPORT A. Minutes Review/Approval September 9th III. TREASURER'S REPORT A. 7th Tradition Donations IV. OLD BUSINESS A. FAQ's (Frequently Asked Questions) V. NEW BUSINESS A. Rotation of Service (New Chairman, Secretary, Treasurer) Reco...

ddub · ddub

lost functioning, lost logic and lost any intelligence I may have. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I am such a mental case and I can't think straight to figgure anything out. I try to be normal whatever that is in front of kids. don't trust AH but want to, I see therapist, I go to f2f meetings, I am n...

october · october

I married a recovering A 2 years ago, sober 25 years. I have children, he was never married. My ex is a very angry, vindictful man. My husband has no tolerance for my ex, which I understand, but he expects me to totally cut him off and this is really hurting my kids. I feel I need to go overboard for my chil...

KimG143 · KimG143

I've been visiting this message board every day since my first post a couple of days ago. Reading other's stories has helped know I am not alone as I begin this journey of self-awareness. I am married to an A that keeps to himself most of the time. He does not like going to family gatherings (will not d...

NANUKE · NANUKE

Enjoy!The last two lines are mine.as program teaches us, let's go do the next right thing!Love to all,NANUKEDo It Anyway People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are success...

maresie2 · maresie2

Earlier this week I about had a breakdown being afraid the A was going to break in and take the dog (he claims he wants to bring one of the dogs on his cross country saga) and or break into the storage unit and get his tools. In the meantime he got a second hand car with whatever money he got from the insuranc...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

A few weeks ago I posted about being diagnosed with this affliction. At the time I was seriously doubting my sanity and what lay ahead for me. Hubby and I got out of town last week for some seriously overdue R&R and while we were gone I started having muscle spasms to the point that I could barely walk...

QOD · QOD

So we talked last night. He called me as I was coming out of the store w/dinner for me and the kids. He said he was down the street at the movies seeing what was playing and thought he'd try to catch me before deciding what movie to see and when. He said he wanted to come over to see the kids. I told him we'd b...

bev · bev

hi all,well as for my grandkids they are living with my ex-husband..that is a big mistake now i cant talk to my granddaughter,or find out how they are..my ex has already brainwashed my daughter and son {19,22}they dont call me anymore or let me now what is going on..my oldest son{24}CALLS AND TELLS ME W...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, apparently he didn't get released yesterday as planned, there was not a peep from him and his mom said the same. I looked online and it still showed his inmate status as active. Guess his projected release date was off. Anyway it turned out to be a rough night without him. I had $200 in the bank a...

kissers · kissers

the crazier the world seems. Is it me or has anyone else noticed this? My best friend caught her husband with porn on his computer, my other friend's husband of 15 years left the state and now has a new girlfriend, my other friend caught her boyfriend with another woman. My ex contacted me after breaking...

Unsure · Unsure

I haven't been in the room for a few months, things have been so hectic that I am exhausted most of the time. I feel like I have been sideswiped, and I'm still sitting there wondering what just happened. In the last month and a half, I have gone from being relatively happy, to totally miserable and depre...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I know that sounds funny but actually it's work related. Most of you know I am a social worker, I work specifically with people who have HIV/AIDS. Today most everyone from my work is going out on a two day campaign to get folks tested. We will be travelling to all the worst neighborhoods and bribing pe...

shimo · shimo

Anyone else having trouble getting into the chatroom. Arrived around 10 for the meeting and could not get into the room. At first it said my nick was not registered. Then when I finally did get in there was some "Global" message saying sorry for inconveniece. Although I made it to the st...

KimG143 · KimG143

I attended my first al anon meeting this week. After almost 10 years of marriage and feeling so lonely that I thought it wouldn't hurt to try. My husband drank when we first started dating but I thought it was part of a partying period I saw most of my male friends go through. I knew the drinking would...

omajoy · omajoy

Re-joining this site has once again confirmed for me that as a parent of an A with intense family problems, there is no where to really turn. This site and the posts are 99% about spouses, girlfriends, ex-spouses, ex-girlfriends. I am desperate to interact with parents of A's. Mostly on this site the...

goddess · goddess

I've been dating a recovering alcoholic (14 mo. sober) for three months and the relationship just ended today. I know his program is the most important thing right now, yet does it give him the right to be totally self-absorbed, to not ask about me and my life? I have tried to discuss some basic emotiona...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello family, I know it has been a long time since I posted last, but I have been doing ok. HOWEVER....... today is a sad day for me. I got a phone call from my ex-A yesterday, to tell me that his sweet mother, Lucille, passed away Monday in her sleep due to a massive stroke. She was very special to me, and eve...

cen616 · cen616

Hi, all, I've been lurking on this board for close to three months and thought it was about time I said "hello". I've felt an inclination to post on other topics here-and-there, but felt it might be rude not to properly introduce myself first... Unlike many of you, I have only had very recen...

babysteps · babysteps

My AH blew 34.8 days of meetings and sobriety a week and a half ago. Prior to this recent bout with lucidity (his most since rehab over 2 years ago) I made a commitment to myself not to intervene by telling him how his behavior was affecting me because it never seemed to ultimately help things. Well now he i...

Loupiness · Loupiness

The ideas of detachment and "hitting bottom" are really great in theory, but what seems to be forgotten is that the a almsot always does not go down alone. It's my life too! This past Feb we staged an intervention and sent ah to rehab for alcohol, prescription drug(s )use, and an addictiv...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello, I think that I forgot to mention a couple of things that may mean the difference between me going to this funeral or not. Yesterday I got hurt at home and hit my head. I did not go to the hospital because basically I am very stubborn. I may not even be able to go out to take care of my bills/errands and s...

NANUKE · NANUKE

Hi Alanon Family, What a way to start each day!! Stay positive and cherish your serenity!! Would we allow another person to haphazardously withdraw our savings from our CHERISHED bank account? It would be called cheating/stealing!! Why do we allow others to steal our serenity and sanity? Wor...

ragingchild · ragingchild

Behind these eyes lie deep dark wells, wells of emotional no one knows of, deep dark emotions stir, "give them not away" I say, "let no one see the deeper side of me". Behind my eyes lies pain and heartache, fear, rejection lie in wait, waiting for the right moment, to bust the wall...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))))))) Feeling horrible this week. Why oh why, can I not learn from a mistake, without going and doing it again.??? I got out of a relationship with the A. He didn't deserve me, and looking back I now see just how selfish, and out for himself he was. So, I tried ag...

maresie2 · maresie2

For me its now not if but when the A is going to go to jail. I hung on and hung on and hung on to try to retrieve something from the huge mess he's made of every single thing in the last year. He continues to act out and continues really to display impetuous, crazy, self absorbed behavior. There were some good o...

Destynee · Destynee

My husband is an alcoholic. It's tearing us apart. I have a 7 month old daughter that he watches 2 days a week so we don't have to send her to daycare. Last Friday he was found passed out on the sofa while she was screaming in her crib. I told him I no longer feel safe with him watching her. He gives me every e...

ragingchild · ragingchild

I haven't been here in ages but I hope ya'll can help. I went to a get together at a friends house and I knew before we went there would be drinking which was fine. I told them as long as nothing got violent or rough I would be ok, but if it did get out of hand I was going to leave right there and then. Nothing ha...

DT1221 · DT1221

I read this somehwere and had to share it. It is so beautiful to say to the girl or woman in your life or even yourself. i think i am going to frame it and read it each day. If I had a little girl, I would tell her all the things I think she would need to know to be fully prepared for life. I would tell her that there w...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have felt somewhat regrouped today after a horrible week last week and feeling incredibly stressed out about what the A may do. Of course there always has been issues about what he may do. He's done them all, crashed and destroyed the truck, got court cases, been penniless, annoyed and irritated and...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I've been working my tail off going to f2f meetings, here online, personal counseling and a spiritual marriage class. One day I feel fine, that I will be okay not matter what, and then one little encounter can send me spinning. Somehow I'm thinking that there are many of you that can relate... So, this...

QOD · QOD

My AH came over last night. The kids and I were talking w/some folks after karate class when he called my cell phone. I started to not answer it, which surprised me. I have never been inclined to dodge him before. Anyway, I did answer it and he said he wanted to come over and see us. So I had to end my con...

Becky1 · Becky1

Haven't had much time to be here, busy getting ready for new granddaughter due in Dec. Took a hospital tour with my daughter and her hubby last night. I can't believe I'm going to be a REAL gramma! I am also gearing up for my Keith Urban concert, Nov. 1. I LOVE KEITH URBAN. He was involved in an accident...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, today is the day. It's prison release time. I am dreading the ringing of the phone. Also I'm home today with a sick kid! Sunday we are leaving for Orlando for a week I'm going to focus on the positive and stay busy today and try not to think about my invading thoughts of impending doom! He doesn'...

UU_Diana · UU_Diana

I am a grateful member of the Alanon Family Group. Since, I discovered MIP, I have had a reliable and safe place to air my concerns and a place to learn from others. I recently made a choice and asked my significant other to leave. After much, much turmoil that involved the usual A behaviors (i.e. lyin...

QOD · QOD

My AH came over on Friday after work. I was extremely upset b/c our 14yo son got into trouble again at school. The Friday before he got busted for leaving school after lunch and skipping his last 2 classes. This past Friday he got into trouble for having multiple verbal altercations w/a group of 9th g...

rtexas · rtexas

((((((((((Everyone)))))))))) I was pondering something today. If you could flip a switch and everyone you know... have history with, problems with... or even everyone you have ever known... just disapeared, how would you be? This is my stupid question, so I get to make up my own rules... and the o...

omajoy · omajoy

Here I am back registered once more after many months absence. I cancelled my membership, but have continued to check back in over the months. Many of the familiar names still post; many I used to see are gone. Without explaining my departure, may I just say that I need a forum. My story is a son who is an A...

serendipity · serendipity

I had to call my mother for money today. I am overdrawn, again and no hope of getting any money from the ex. Still no hard copy of divorce so child support will not do anything till they get that. Fine, even when they get it I doubt I will ever see a dime. Whatever. My mother. She says ok about the money. I say t...

hudsond · hudsond

I have been having some kind of breakdown lately!! Call it emotional, mental, hormonal--who really knows, but Friday I about fell to pieces! I left work sick--stomachache, headache, couldn't stop crying--just feeling awful!!!! So I headed to town, to drown away my sorrows and stress with a sho...

maresie2 · maresie2

The A has sold the truck and bought some clunker. He plans to move several states away. He is still living in the trailer and the people there are going nuts trying to get him to move out. This is the second time he's done that in 6 months stuck around when people want him to move out. I don't know what he is sti...

Lookingforpeace · Lookingforpeace

So I have to say that the past three days have been a total rollercoaster for me. I am not properly detatching...I can see that my emotions are still so plainly affected by my husband's behavior. Not matter how hard I try it seems to cloud my mind. There was a point, I don't even remember when that I read...

rebjohn · rebjohn

my son has alot of issues right now-- cant keep a job - lost his car- cant follow house rules-.drinks and some drugs- my husband his stepdad of 20yrs. does not want him here anymore. has kicked him out several times- after 2-3 weeks i let him back in and the crap starts again. - its like is the problem the h...

Denoraphy · Denoraphy

Living with an active A can be a challenge and I feel like I am a strong enough person that I can let most of what he says roll off of me and not let it bother me. Especially since I have been involved with alanon and have learned about boundries and about typical A behaviors. But.....the biggest challen...

maresie2 · maresie2

The A is trying to get a write off on the truck and get a check. He has a court case coming up and wans to skip town. So he has not only destroyed the truck (which I don't know where it is) he has also sold it out from under me for an unknown sum. He plans to move several states away in order to not be imprisoned. ...

ddub · ddub

sad and unsettled........ tired of myself fighting depression and all like to write things down to get them out of my head. sometimes then I can figgure it out and if I can't, some of you can usually help me. At home I can keep busy, at motel I was restless, claustrophobic and slept to calm my panic. woke...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Ever since ah came last weekend and came clean about drinking again I have been having nightmares and I wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning dreaming about him drinking. I can't get back to sleep. I feel sick to my stomach, restless and just feel this enevitable doom. I already take meds for anxiety and depress...

Carole08 · Carole08

Hello, I am new to this forum and I guess I kinda need to know the do's and don'ts firstly. Also would like to share with you some recent events . So here goes, my brother in law (husbands brother) is an alcoholic. His entire family and to a certain degree my husband and I are struggling with this. I g...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	easy does it (Preview) One giant step for helpers and fixers and controlling people is to slow way down with the easy does it slogan. Even after hitting the al anon books, meetings and message boards hard and fast, then slowing down to easy does it with just some daily reading and meetings it is still too fast. Then trying t...	ddub	6	416	Oct 8, 2007 by maresie2
	How do I deal with this? (Preview) This is all new to me (Al-Anon). For 2 years after I was married, my AH would go out with his drinking buddies and not come home all night. Since August of 2006 he hasn't done it. But while I was at my mom's 20 minutes ago he took off. I don't think I can do this by myself again. Things have been terrible si...	Destynee	5	510	Oct 8, 2007 by QOD
	Manipulation and lies... (Preview) ((((((((((Everyone))))))))))) It really is amazing as I look back over my life and see how easily I used to accept lies as truth, and manipulation as direction. It is almost like I had a wire unhooked to my BS meter. Maybe it was more my fears ... fear of conflict, fear of letting others down and fear of...	rtexas	7	762	Oct 8, 2007 by QOD
	Alanon on You Tube (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClnkLyjrp1Y	kissers	1	1096	Oct 8, 2007 by tiredtonite
	Is this common to feel like this? (Preview) Hi, I am living with a A...it seems to have gotten worse. I went to therapy finally to help me deal with my inner anger. I cannot cry in front of him or the verbal argument gets worse. I cannot sleep & have to work. We do very little together. i have tried to do more but the friends come over & its a big i...	alanon_2002	8	512	Oct 8, 2007 by Kim65
	Wondering about ERIN (Preview) Just a note to say Erin has been in my thoughts. Has anyone heard how she is doing? Thanks, mspw	wp	1	411	Oct 8, 2007 by doxie
	Share I found (Preview) In the "Getting Them Sober, volume one" book, it talks about how one of the main things that partners of alcoholics have in common, is trying to show the alcoholic how much we can do for them, instead of even thinking of asking how much they can do for us. This is such a knee-jerk action for us.....	kissers	3	455	Oct 7, 2007 by ddub
	Detachment (Preview) I recently found a website that has some fantastic tools for recovery on it. One of which is a great outline on detachment. I wish I'd of had this when I first started in the program. Check it out if you wish. www.coping.org The subjects covered are listed on the lefthand side. Barb	Mobirdie	3	439	Oct 7, 2007 by Mobirdie
	Face to Face Al-Anon Meetings (Preview) I'm looking to attend my first Al-Anon meeting on Tuesday night. I was wondering if it was okay if a friend came with me? I'm really nervous about taking this step and I know if someone came with me then it would make this first step a lot easier. - Julie	loper410	2	402	Oct 7, 2007 by lin0606
	TM from AH. What do I do with it? (Preview) Ok so after all that my AH said the other night, he just text messaged me. Love u more every day-will be here waiting if u ever want me back in your life What the heck am I supposed to do with that? I mean, the other day he was mad b/c he wasn't getting laid and said we needed to start seeing other people. Now th...	QOD	9	691	Oct 7, 2007 by twinkie
	HAPPY THANKS GIVING!!!! (Preview) Happy Thanks giving to all my Canadian friends. I hope you have a great weekend, I for one will take this weekend to think about all the things I am grateful & thankful for. Living with an A has so many negative things we have to deal with, but we also have alot of positive things in our lives to be gratef...	serenity62	2	405	Oct 7, 2007 by Karilynn
	Fun and Laughs (Preview) Today is my husband's birthday, and I took him to the Stoogeum (Museum of Stooges!) for a suprise. I am not a stooges fan, but I had no idea how much I would like it. I went in with my prejudices - and I was seduced by the chuckles and giggling of the big crowd as they made their way around the exhibits. I figure...	Jill	1	378	Oct 7, 2007 by Maria123
	Tonight's Business Meeting - October 7th @ 9 PM EST (Preview) OCTOBER 7TH AGENDA I. OP SCHEDULE II. SECRETARY'S REPORT A. Minutes Review/Approval September 9th III. TREASURER'S REPORT A. 7th Tradition Donations IV. OLD BUSINESS A. FAQ's (Frequently Asked Questions) V. NEW BUSINESS A. Rotation of Service (New Chairman, Secretary, Treasurer) Reco...	Maria123	0	280	Oct 7, 2007 by Maria123
	lost (Preview) lost functioning, lost logic and lost any intelligence I may have. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I am such a mental case and I can't think straight to figgure anything out. I try to be normal whatever that is in front of kids. don't trust AH but want to, I see therapist, I go to f2f meetings, I am n...	ddub	10	450	Oct 6, 2007 by ddub
	recovering AH rightousness (Preview) I married a recovering A 2 years ago, sober 25 years. I have children, he was never married. My ex is a very angry, vindictful man. My husband has no tolerance for my ex, which I understand, but he expects me to totally cut him off and this is really hurting my kids. I feel I need to go overboard for my chil...	october	5	519	Oct 6, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	Reclusive (Preview) I've been visiting this message board every day since my first post a couple of days ago. Reading other's stories has helped know I am not alone as I begin this journey of self-awareness. I am married to an A that keeps to himself most of the time. He does not like going to family gatherings (will not d...	KimG143	4	396	Oct 6, 2007 by KimG143
	DO IT ANYWAYS (Preview) *Enjoy!The last two lines are mine.as program teaches us, let's go do the next right thing!Love to all,NANUKEDo It Anyway* People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are success...	NANUKE	1	402	Oct 6, 2007 by Tiger2006
	4 days and counting (Preview) Earlier this week I about had a breakdown being afraid the A was going to break in and take the dog (he claims he wants to bring one of the dogs on his cross country saga) and or break into the storage unit and get his tools. In the meantime he got a second hand car with whatever money he got from the insuranc...	maresie2	4	331	Oct 6, 2007 by leo
	Emotional Exhaustion update (Preview) A few weeks ago I posted about being diagnosed with this affliction. At the time I was seriously doubting my sanity and what lay ahead for me. Hubby and I got out of town last week for some seriously overdue R&R and while we were gone I started having muscle spasms to the point that I could barely walk...	Mobirdie	4	383	Oct 5, 2007 by Kim65
	AH & I talked last night (Preview) So we talked last night. He called me as I was coming out of the store w/dinner for me and the kids. He said he was down the street at the movies seeing what was playing and thought he'd try to catch me before deciding what movie to see and when. He said he wanted to come over to see the kids. I told him we'd b...	QOD	7	666	Oct 5, 2007 by twinkie
	update (Preview) hi all,well as for my grandkids they are living with my ex-husband..that is a big mistake now i cant talk to my granddaughter,or find out how they are..my ex has already brainwashed my daughter and son {19,22}they dont call me anymore or let me now what is going on..my oldest son{24}CALLS AND TELLS ME W...	bev	2	366	Oct 5, 2007 by twinkie
	Not a peep! (Preview) Well, apparently he didn't get released yesterday as planned, there was not a peep from him and his mom said the same. I looked online and it still showed his inmate status as active. Guess his projected release date was off. Anyway it turned out to be a rough night without him. I had $200 in the bank a...	carolinagirl	3	435	Oct 5, 2007 by maresie2
	The More Al Anon I Get... (Preview) the crazier the world seems. Is it me or has anyone else noticed this? My best friend caught her husband with porn on his computer, my other friend's husband of 15 years left the state and now has a new girlfriend, my other friend caught her boyfriend with another woman. My ex contacted me after breaking...	kissers	5	542	Oct 5, 2007 by marmare
	I've Been SIdeswiped (Preview) I haven't been in the room for a few months, things have been so hectic that I am exhausted most of the time. I feel like I have been sideswiped, and I'm still sitting there wondering what just happened. In the last month and a half, I have gone from being relatively happy, to totally miserable and depre...	Unsure	10	718	Oct 5, 2007 by maresie2
	Participating in the RIOT! (Preview) I know that sounds funny but actually it's work related. Most of you know I am a social worker, I work specifically with people who have HIV/AIDS. Today most everyone from my work is going out on a two day campaign to get folks tested. We will be travelling to all the worst neighborhoods and bribing pe...	carolinagirl	3	458	Oct 5, 2007 by maresie2
	Trouble Getting Into Chat from Mirc (Preview) Anyone else having trouble getting into the chatroom. Arrived around 10 for the meeting and could not get into the room. At first it said my nick was not registered. Then when I finally did get in there was some "Global" message saying sorry for inconveniece. Although I made it to the st...	shimo	3	335	Oct 5, 2007 by shimo
	New, confused and afraid (Preview) I attended my first al anon meeting this week. After almost 10 years of marriage and feeling so lonely that I thought it wouldn't hurt to try. My husband drank when we first started dating but I thought it was part of a partying period I saw most of my male friends go through. I knew the drinking would...	KimG143	7	567	Oct 5, 2007 by Lily550
	relationship factors in A (Preview) Re-joining this site has once again confirmed for me that as a parent of an A with intense family problems, there is no where to really turn. This site and the posts are 99% about spouses, girlfriends, ex-spouses, ex-girlfriends. I am desperate to interact with parents of A's. Mostly on this site the...	omajoy	9	657	Oct 5, 2007 by Jerry F
	Dating a Recovering Alcoholic (Preview) I've been dating a recovering alcoholic (14 mo. sober) for three months and the relationship just ended today. I know his program is the most important thing right now, yet does it give him the right to be totally self-absorbed, to not ask about me and my life? I have tried to discuss some basic emotiona...	goddess	7	1806	Oct 5, 2007 by Jerry F
	My ex-A 's mother died ESH requested (Preview) Hello family, I know it has been a long time since I posted last, but I have been doing ok. HOWEVER....... today is a sad day for me. I got a phone call from my ex-A yesterday, to tell me that his sweet mother, Lucille, passed away Monday in her sleep due to a massive stroke. She was very special to me, and eve...	hippietrippiechick	4	709	Oct 4, 2007 by Jerry F
	Introducing myself (Preview) Hi, all, I've been lurking on this board for close to three months and thought it was about time I said "hello". I've felt an inclination to post on other topics here-and-there, but felt it might be rude not to properly introduce myself first... Unlike many of you, I have only had very recen...	cen616	5	768	Oct 4, 2007 by abbyal
	Need Reassurance Please! (Preview) My AH blew 34.8 days of meetings and sobriety a week and a half ago. Prior to this recent bout with lucidity (his most since rehab over 2 years ago) I made a commitment to myself not to intervene by telling him how his behavior was affecting me because it never seemed to ultimately help things. Well now he i...	babysteps	4	551	Oct 4, 2007 by QOD
	but it's MY LIFE too :-( (Preview) The ideas of detachment and "hitting bottom" are really great in theory, but what seems to be forgotten is that the a almsot always does not go down alone. It's my life too! This past Feb we staged an intervention and sent ah to rehab for alcohol, prescription drug(s )use, and an addictiv...	Loupiness	10	603	Oct 4, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	update on my ex-A's mom's funeral -- ESH please (Preview) Hello, I think that I forgot to mention a couple of things that may mean the difference between me going to this funeral or not. Yesterday I got hurt at home and hit my head. I did not go to the hospital because basically I am very stubborn. I may not even be able to go out to take care of my bills/errands and s...	hippietrippiechick	2	293	Oct 4, 2007 by Friendofyours
	ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE: YOUR CALL OR COLLAPSE (Preview) Hi Alanon Family, What a way to start each day!! Stay positive and cherish your serenity!! Would we allow another person to haphazardously withdraw our savings from our CHERISHED bank account? It would be called cheating/stealing!! Why do we allow others to steal our serenity and sanity? Wor...	NANUKE	0	297	Oct 4, 2007 by NANUKE
	A poem... (Preview) Behind these eyes lie deep dark wells, wells of emotional no one knows of, deep dark emotions stir, "give them not away" I say, "let no one see the deeper side of me". Behind my eyes lies pain and heartache, fear, rejection lie in wait, waiting for the right moment, to bust the wall...	ragingchild	1	300	Oct 4, 2007 by nmike
	FEELING HORRIBLE AGAIN!!!!! (Preview) (((((((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))))))) Feeling horrible this week. Why oh why, can I not learn from a mistake, without going and doing it again.??? I got out of a relationship with the A. He didn't deserve me, and looking back I now see just how selfish, and out for himself he was. So, I tried ag...	ally	8	690	Oct 4, 2007 by ddub
	regrouping (Preview) For me its now not if but when the A is going to go to jail. I hung on and hung on and hung on to try to retrieve something from the huge mess he's made of every single thing in the last year. He continues to act out and continues really to display impetuous, crazy, self absorbed behavior. There were some good o...	maresie2	4	407	Oct 3, 2007 by Christy
	New Here (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. It's tearing us apart. I have a 7 month old daughter that he watches 2 days a week so we don't have to send her to daycare. Last Friday he was found passed out on the sofa while she was screaming in her crib. I told him I no longer feel safe with him watching her. He gives me every e...	Destynee	7	458	Oct 3, 2007 by wp
	Question (Preview) I haven't been here in ages but I hope ya'll can help. I went to a get together at a friends house and I knew before we went there would be drinking which was fine. I told them as long as nothing got violent or rough I would be ok, but if it did get out of hand I was going to leave right there and then. Nothing ha...	ragingchild	5	439	Oct 3, 2007 by ragingchild
	I had to share so beautiful (Preview) I read this somehwere and had to share it. It is so beautiful to say to the girl or woman in your life or even yourself. i think i am going to frame it and read it each day. If I had a little girl, I would tell her all the things I think she would need to know to be fully prepared for life. I would tell her that there w...	DT1221	2	471	Oct 3, 2007 by Dorothy
	setting up the wall (Preview) I have felt somewhat regrouped today after a horrible week last week and feeling incredibly stressed out about what the A may do. Of course there always has been issues about what he may do. He's done them all, crashed and destroyed the truck, got court cases, been penniless, annoyed and irritated and...	maresie2	3	507	Oct 3, 2007 by carolinagirl
	It's pointless... (Preview) I've been working my tail off going to f2f meetings, here online, personal counseling and a spiritual marriage class. One day I feel fine, that I will be okay not matter what, and then one little encounter can send me spinning. Somehow I'm thinking that there are many of you that can relate... So, this...	Loupiness	7	592	Oct 3, 2007 by QOD
	Feeling a bit better today! Stronger! (Preview) My AH came over last night. The kids and I were talking w/some folks after karate class when he called my cell phone. I started to not answer it, which surprised me. I have never been inclined to dodge him before. Anyway, I did answer it and he said he wanted to come over and see us. So I had to end my con...	QOD	5	476	Oct 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Miss You Guys! (Preview) Haven't had much time to be here, busy getting ready for new granddaughter due in Dec. Took a hospital tour with my daughter and her hubby last night. I can't believe I'm going to be a REAL gramma! I am also gearing up for my Keith Urban concert, Nov. 1. I LOVE KEITH URBAN. He was involved in an accident...	Becky1	3	370	Oct 3, 2007 by Karilynn
	The big day is upon me... (Preview) Well, today is the day. It's prison release time. I am dreading the ringing of the phone. Also I'm home today with a sick kid! Sunday we are leaving for Orlando for a week I'm going to focus on the positive and stay busy today and try not to think about my invading thoughts of impending doom! He doesn'...	carolinagirl	8	519	Oct 2, 2007 by nmike
	Sometimes, the choice of divorce or the equilavent is needed to have Peace and Serenity (Preview) I am a grateful member of the Alanon Family Group. Since, I discovered MIP, I have had a reliable and safe place to air my concerns and a place to learn from others. I recently made a choice and asked my significant other to leave. After much, much turmoil that involved the usual A behaviors (i.e. lyin...	UU_Diana	18	2203	Oct 2, 2007 by getoverit
	AH may have fallen off the wagon! (Preview) My AH came over on Friday after work. I was extremely upset b/c our 14yo son got into trouble again at school. The Friday before he got busted for leaving school after lunch and skipping his last 2 classes. This past Friday he got into trouble for having multiple verbal altercations w/a group of 9th g...	QOD	10	629	Oct 2, 2007 by maresie2
	What if.... (Preview) ((((((((((Everyone)))))))))) I was pondering something today. If you could flip a switch and everyone you know... have history with, problems with... or even everyone you have ever known... just disapeared, how would you be? This is my stupid question, so I get to make up my own rules... and the o...	rtexas	9	651	Oct 2, 2007 by abbyal
	a-ism, family, cancer (Preview) Here I am back registered once more after many months absence. I cancelled my membership, but have continued to check back in over the months. Many of the familiar names still post; many I used to see are gone. Without explaining my departure, may I just say that I need a forum. My story is a son who is an A...	omajoy	7	664	Oct 2, 2007 by abbyal
	Within three minutes (Preview) I had to call my mother for money today. I am overdrawn, again and no hope of getting any money from the ex. Still no hard copy of divorce so child support will not do anything till they get that. Fine, even when they get it I doubt I will ever see a dime. Whatever. My mother. She says ok about the money. I say t...	serendipity	3	551	Oct 2, 2007 by carolinagirl
	breakdown (Preview) I have been having some kind of breakdown lately!! Call it emotional, mental, hormonal--who really knows, but Friday I about fell to pieces! I left work sick--stomachache, headache, couldn't stop crying--just feeling awful!!!! So I headed to town, to drown away my sorrows and stress with a sho...	hudsond	9	396	Oct 2, 2007 by hudsond
	the A bottoming out (Preview) The A has sold the truck and bought some clunker. He plans to move several states away. He is still living in the trailer and the people there are going nuts trying to get him to move out. This is the second time he's done that in 6 months stuck around when people want him to move out. I don't know what he is sti...	maresie2	4	630	Oct 2, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Rollercoaster (Preview) So I have to say that the past three days have been a total rollercoaster for me. I am not properly detatching...I can see that my emotions are still so plainly affected by my husband's behavior. Not matter how hard I try it seems to cloud my mind. There was a point, I don't even remember when that I read...	Lookingforpeace	4	461	Oct 2, 2007 by hersh
	my 24 yr. old son (Preview) my son has alot of issues right now-- cant keep a job - lost his car- cant follow house rules-.drinks and some drugs- my husband his stepdad of 20yrs. does not want him here anymore. has kicked him out several times- after 2-3 weeks i let him back in and the crap starts again. - its like is the problem the h...	rebjohn	6	490	Oct 2, 2007 by cdb19
	Loneliness (Preview) Living with an active A can be a challenge and I feel like I am a strong enough person that I can let most of what he says roll off of me and not let it bother me. Especially since I have been involved with alanon and have learned about boundries and about typical A behaviors. But.....the biggest challen...	Denoraphy	4	348	Oct 1, 2007 by nmike
	latest development (Preview) The A is trying to get a write off on the truck and get a check. He has a court case coming up and wans to skip town. So he has not only destroyed the truck (which I don't know where it is) he has also sold it out from under me for an unknown sum. He plans to move several states away in order to not be imprisoned. ...	maresie2	4	559	Oct 1, 2007 by maresie2
	writing it down (Preview) sad and unsettled........ tired of myself fighting depression and all like to write things down to get them out of my head. sometimes then I can figgure it out and if I can't, some of you can usually help me. At home I can keep busy, at motel I was restless, claustrophobic and slept to calm my panic. woke...	ddub	1	295	Oct 1, 2007 by rtexas
	I'm living in one big panick attack. Help. (Preview) Ever since ah came last weekend and came clean about drinking again I have been having nightmares and I wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning dreaming about him drinking. I can't get back to sleep. I feel sick to my stomach, restless and just feel this enevitable doom. I already take meds for anxiety and depress...	Friendofyours	10	3496	Oct 1, 2007 by Loupiness
	New to this forum (Preview) Hello, I am new to this forum and I guess I kinda need to know the do's and don'ts firstly. Also would like to share with you some recent events . So here goes, my brother in law (husbands brother) is an alcoholic. His entire family and to a certain degree my husband and I are struggling with this. I g...	Carole08	9	1188	Oct 1, 2007 by Carole08
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.