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Question
(Preview)
I haven't been here in ages but I hope ya'll can help. I went to a get together at a friends house and I knew before we went there would be drinking which was fine. I told them as long as nothing got violent or rough I would be ok, but if it did get out of hand I was going to leave right there and then. Nothing ha...
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ragingchild
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5
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430
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I had to share so beautiful
(Preview)
I read this somehwere and had to share it. It is so beautiful to say to the girl or woman in your life or even yourself. i think i am going to frame it and read it each day. If I had a little girl, I would tell her all the things I think she would need to know to be fully prepared for life. I would tell her that there w...
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DT1221
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2
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463
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setting up the wall
(Preview)
I have felt somewhat regrouped today after a horrible week last week and feeling incredibly stressed out about what the A may do. Of course there always has been issues about what he may do. He's done them all, crashed and destroyed the truck, got court cases, been penniless, annoyed and irritated and...
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maresie2
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3
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485
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It's pointless...
(Preview)
I've been working my tail off going to f2f meetings, here online, personal counseling and a spiritual marriage class. One day I feel fine, that I will be okay not matter what, and then one little encounter can send me spinning. Somehow I'm thinking that there are many of you that can relate... So, this...
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Loupiness
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7
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582
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Feeling a bit better today! Stronger!
(Preview)
My AH came over last night. The kids and I were talking w/some folks after karate class when he called my cell phone. I started to not answer it, which surprised me. I have never been inclined to dodge him before. Anyway, I did answer it and he said he wanted to come over and see us. So I had to end my con...
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QOD
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5
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468
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Miss You Guys!
(Preview)
Haven't had much time to be here, busy getting ready for new granddaughter due in Dec. Took a hospital tour with my daughter and her hubby last night. I can't believe I'm going to be a REAL gramma! I am also gearing up for my Keith Urban concert, Nov. 1. I LOVE KEITH URBAN. He was involved in an accident...
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Becky1
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3
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358
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The big day is upon me...
(Preview)
Well, today is the day. It's prison release time. I am dreading the ringing of the phone. Also I'm home today with a sick kid! Sunday we are leaving for Orlando for a week I'm going to focus on the positive and stay busy today and try not to think about my invading thoughts of impending doom! He doesn'...
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carolinagirl
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8
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511
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Sometimes, the choice of divorce or the equilavent is needed to have Peace and Serenity
(Preview)
I am a grateful member of the Alanon Family Group. Since, I discovered MIP, I have had a reliable and safe place to air my concerns and a place to learn from others. I recently made a choice and asked my significant other to leave. After much, much turmoil that involved the usual A behaviors (i.e. lyin...
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UU_Diana
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18
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2181
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AH may have fallen off the wagon!
(Preview)
My AH came over on Friday after work. I was extremely upset b/c our 14yo son got into trouble again at school. The Friday before he got busted for leaving school after lunch and skipping his last 2 classes. This past Friday he got into trouble for having multiple verbal altercations w/a group of 9th g...
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QOD
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10
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617
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What if....
(Preview)
((((((((((Everyone)))))))))) I was pondering something today. If you could flip a switch and everyone you know... have history with, problems with... or even everyone you have ever known... just disapeared, how would you be? This is my stupid question, so I get to make up my own rules... and the o...
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rtexas
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9
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640
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a-ism, family, cancer
(Preview)
Here I am back registered once more after many months absence. I cancelled my membership, but have continued to check back in over the months. Many of the familiar names still post; many I used to see are gone. Without explaining my departure, may I just say that I need a forum. My story is a son who is an A...
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omajoy
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7
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644
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Within three minutes
(Preview)
I had to call my mother for money today. I am overdrawn, again and no hope of getting any money from the ex. Still no hard copy of divorce so child support will not do anything till they get that. Fine, even when they get it I doubt I will ever see a dime. Whatever. My mother. She says ok about the money. I say t...
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serendipity
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3
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536
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breakdown
(Preview)
I have been having some kind of breakdown lately!! Call it emotional, mental, hormonal--who really knows, but Friday I about fell to pieces! I left work sick--stomachache, headache, couldn't stop crying--just feeling awful!!!! So I headed to town, to drown away my sorrows and stress with a sho...
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hudsond
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9
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388
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the A bottoming out
(Preview)
The A has sold the truck and bought some clunker. He plans to move several states away. He is still living in the trailer and the people there are going nuts trying to get him to move out. This is the second time he's done that in 6 months stuck around when people want him to move out. I don't know what he is sti...
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maresie2
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4
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623
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Rollercoaster
(Preview)
So I have to say that the past three days have been a total rollercoaster for me. I am not properly detatching...I can see that my emotions are still so plainly affected by my husband's behavior. Not matter how hard I try it seems to cloud my mind. There was a point, I don't even remember when that I read...
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Lookingforpeace
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4
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452
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my 24 yr. old son
(Preview)
my son has alot of issues right now-- cant keep a job - lost his car- cant follow house rules-.drinks and some drugs- my husband his stepdad of 20yrs. does not want him here anymore. has kicked him out several times- after 2-3 weeks i let him back in and the crap starts again. - its like is the problem the h...
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rebjohn
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6
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477
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Loneliness
(Preview)
Living with an active A can be a challenge and I feel like I am a strong enough person that I can let most of what he says roll off of me and not let it bother me. Especially since I have been involved with alanon and have learned about boundries and about typical A behaviors. But.....the biggest challen...
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Denoraphy
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4
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340
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latest development
(Preview)
The A is trying to get a write off on the truck and get a check. He has a court case coming up and wans to skip town. So he has not only destroyed the truck (which I don't know where it is) he has also sold it out from under me for an unknown sum. He plans to move several states away in order to not be imprisoned.
...
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maresie2
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4
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550
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writing it down
(Preview)
sad and unsettled........ tired of myself fighting depression and all like to write things down to get them out of my head. sometimes then I can figgure it out and if I can't, some of you can usually help me. At home I can keep busy, at motel I was restless, claustrophobic and slept to calm my panic. woke...
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ddub
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1
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287
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I'm living in one big panick attack. Help.
(Preview)
Ever since ah came last weekend and came clean about drinking again I have been having nightmares and I wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning dreaming about him drinking. I can't get back to sleep. I feel sick to my stomach, restless and just feel this enevitable doom. I already take meds for anxiety and depress...
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Friendofyours
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10
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3031
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New to this forum
(Preview)
Hello, I am new to this forum and I guess I kinda need to know the do's and don'ts firstly. Also would like to share with you some recent events . So here goes, my brother in law (husbands brother) is an alcoholic. His entire family and to a certain degree my husband and I are struggling with this. I g...
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Carole08
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9
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1167
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My STOP and THINK moment
(Preview)
So the cycle again and again.....the controled drinking, the binging, the broken promises, it's started all over again. Sad to think I had started to believe by not only his words but by his actions. I was headed out in October to buy my Harley. Not now, it is safer to tuck the money away into CD's. Un...
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marmare
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3
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717
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The Question Why????
(Preview)
Hello (((All))), The question why is just one that I keep asking, when it comes out I know in my heart that there is no answer. Things happen for a reason, anger builds up, sorrow has comsumed me. These things I can control, I can ask myself why am I letting it all get the best of me. Then I look at my kids a...
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Andrea12
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4
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486
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I am tired of myself
(Preview)
JUST FOR TODAY............... I am tired of myself. I go to face to face meeings, I work the step, practice the traditions, attend open meetings, go to AA round ups, Alanon assemblies, district meetings, and, read Alanon material daily. I even joined the local gym. [keep the focus on myself] I kn...
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beaulahg
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3
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395
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Don't Underestimate the power of Alcoholism
(Preview)
------------------------------------------------------------------------He...
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Maria123
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1
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520
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The real dilemma
(Preview)
I guess the real dilemma for me in my situation is trying to decide what exactly IS the right thing for the kids??? Especially the boy... Here are the choices in my mind: One, you have a dad, he's in and out of your life, when he does see you he loves you and plays with you and is not abusive but it's infrequen...
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carolinagirl
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9
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412
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Friend of yours
(Preview)
How are things Friend? Are ya still having panicy feelings? Please let us know how you are. love,debilyn
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debilyn
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2
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377
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Confused
(Preview)
Hello All - This is my first time posting on this site. I have been struggling with an "A", as you call it, for about two years now. The part that kills me is that we had 8 GREAT years together before this all happened. Anyway, I am getting to the point in our relationship where I feel that I am a...
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Lookingforpeace
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4
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280
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THE FOG HAS CLEARED
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((Yo Roomies)))))))))))))) You all know I had opened a face to face group a few months ago (5 months already). Well It started off really good, got about 6 or 7 every week. I had not been commiting for the last few weeks. The members took a "Group decision" and were going to take...
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ally
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3
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477
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need prayers today
(Preview)
hi everyone,it has been awhile since i posted here..but i really could use some prayers today...found out on monday that my daughter and her husband might lose my grandchildren today.they have to go to the department of social services today at 10,to see what is going to happen..i have been a wreck al...
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bev
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12
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571
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Trying to "easy do it"
(Preview)
My dad had his 20th back surgery on Monday. On wednesday he called and said "I know you've been so busy, and I know you've been extremely worried about me, so I'm calling to tell you that I'm fine, the surgery went well, and that I will be home a week from Saturday..." As I was listening to the ar...
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Tiger2006
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2
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781
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HP answered a question I reflected upon from the past
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I was thinking about the time my friend's brother and his fiancee were in a horrible car accident. They were both flown to shock trauma. Her brother's injuries resulted in paralysis and her sister-in-law suffered from a broken arm. She called me after the accident happened and was angry...
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kissers
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1
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390
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"EXPECTATIONS"
(Preview)
(((((((((((Guy))))))))))) Was surfing and came across some quotes::::: Anna Quindlen: It's important to remember that feminism is no longer a group of organizations or leaders. It's the expectations that parents have for their daughters, and their sons, too. It's the way we talk about and treat...
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ally
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1
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342
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Pepi is back home now
(Preview)
Pepi my dog was found at the pound She was a few blocks away but she must have been moving all the time for the whole 24 plus hours she was gone. I searched high and low for her. I didn't sleep for two days. She is absolutely fine and chomping on a bone at home
Thanks for all your prayers it meant a great deal to...
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maresie2
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6
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355
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The healthy self...
(Preview)
I thought this needed it's own string, feel free to add! OK I'm gonna give this a shot: Ease in making everyday decisions Assumes responsibility for own actions and life Not afraid to speak up for self or disagree with others Initiating projects and finishing what you start Nurtures self by self care a...
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carolinagirl
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3
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400
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Just for the record....
(Preview)
((((((((Family)))))))))), In reference to Becky's post about Keith Urban and Diva going ga-ga over Johnny Depp. Allow me to set the record straight. While I might go a bit nuts at a football game: GO USC, GO EAGLES, I assure you I would never get crazy. (Just don't talk to my friends Joanne & Kath...
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Karilynn
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23
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1803
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Group conscious meeting
(Preview)
I have a question about the rules for a group conscious meeting. when you have one and then have the vote does majority rule. that is my question> thanks bigh
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bigh
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6
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2789
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Ending it
(Preview)
I don't know how to cut ties with my boyfriend. I don't even necessarily want to never speak with him again, but I WOULD like him to move out. I've gotten to the point where he and his drinking just annoy me to death and if he does stay it is going to get worse until I have some kind of blow up and say really mean t...
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summergrl83
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5
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430
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Why is the elephant invisible?
(Preview)
The addict is in complete control of the group. Like a magician they make everyone look over here and pull the trick off over there. The group is entertained and happy. But I see all the slight of hand. I hear the hallow ring in every promise uttered from the addicts lips. I am not happy or entertained. I am...
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Cheryl28659
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8
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595
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My father, the Alcoholic
(Preview)
I haven't spoken to my father in a year. He is very disrespectful to me in front of my daughter and can go into rages. I severed the relationship and have no desire to have a relationship with him. He also participates in cat calls while I am in his presence. I always denied how I felt when around him. Recent...
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kissers
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2
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343
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I found this interesting, this was me when I first came here!
(Preview)
Dependent Personality Disorder Symptoms This personality disorder is characterized by a long-standing need for the person to be taken care of and a fear of being abandoned or separated from important individuals in his or her life. This pervasive fear leads to "clinging behavior" and...
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carolinagirl
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9
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562
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Update on Mom's House
(Preview)
As most of you know I lost my mom last year and I just wanted to share with you the following....(Art is Dad, Helen is Mom) 50 years ago this year, Art and Helen started looking for a house. Art wanted to get Helen and thier three children (I wasn't even thought of yet LOL) settled into a home before he depl...
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marmare
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4
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524
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That alcoholic radar
(Preview)
Hi Alanoners, It happens time and time again. Late this summer after my surgeries and having my AHsober tell me he didn't feel anything compassion for me, I said enough is enough. I am not going to make an effort to talk to him, cooperate, or call him about our sons. So of course he shows up for a tournamen...
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nmike
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5
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604
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THANK GAWD FOR MY SENSE OF HUMOUR:LOL
(Preview)
(((((((((((((Yo Roomies)))))))))))) I have been having a "pure dead crappy week". My life sucks, I am hopeless, useless, a cody, a pain in the ass, and I'm writing this right now, listening to a song, and laughing...lol Well,...
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ally
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3
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618
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Can Anyone Help Me Get Into the Chatroom?
(Preview)
Help! I had a harddrive breakdown and now I can't get on in the chatroom! My ex-bf's nephew was very nice in that he completely rewrote my bios(which of course I don't understand) and when I try to get into the room it says it wants to add "ActiveX" to my computer, then when I try to allow it to it s...
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jonibaloni21
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2
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437
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one year later...
(Preview)
i'm starting to see the chaos that was my life on a whole new level. I hope, dear god, i hope i never become that person again. it was pain, on top of more pain, etc. i had no tools to cope...i drank. i'm here now, one year later, feeling great in my sobriety. it works if you work it. and yes, i'm worth it. ...
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CAM0914
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0
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336
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Let me out of this maze that is my head
(Preview)
have you ever felt like you were trying to solve a puzzle but you didn't quite have all the information? Well, that's how I have been feeling. It has even led to panic attacks. The answer to the puzzle is I need to have more faith in myself. I need to have confidence in me and my own abilities. So, if I alread...
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seekingserenity
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2
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1881
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letter to my MIL (long but good)
(Preview)
Well, thanks for saying that, I guess its better to step away than to say thing that cant be unsaid J Anyway, I know he is your son and you love him and want him to have everything he wants but I also want C to grow up healthy and Im not really sure at this point what is the best thing. I have been thinking abo...
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carolinagirl
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2
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502
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Maresie any word about the dog?
(Preview)
Has the dog come home yet? Have you found her?
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carolinagirl
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7
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440
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One thing said to me
(Preview)
By my A ex, is one of the reasons we broke up was that she feel like I was there for her, when she decided to quit drinking. I have stood beside her through everything we have done toegther and all her decisions, I dont know how else to show her that I am still there for her no matter what happens... ~ Mr. Clingy...
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jrl
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4
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451
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realizations
(Preview)
I wrote this last night....... This may not make sense or seem rational because I am typing as I am thinking and I have lots running through my head about this....... I am a big fan of Law & Order: SVU. I just the watched episode about the A mother who drank vodka and it talked about the feelings of child...
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Lanchas
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4
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496
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Sociopathic tenddencies
(Preview)
the A's alcoholism and drug addiction has not progressed to the phase where he is a sociopath.
When my dog went missing on Monday I spoke to him. His response to the situation which had me very very distressed was to try to con money out of me.
I think I have really resisted seing him as a sociopath for a...
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maresie2
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4
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647
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QOD??
(Preview)
Haven't seen you online for a while?? Maybe I missed her posts?? Hope you are OK hon! Kim
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Kim65
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4
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282
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please pray for me
(Preview)
My big lab mix got out last night and after hours of searching is no where to be seen. I am desolate and waiting for the animal shelters to open. The A offered to help if I paid him!!! That's it for me.
I feel absolutely alone, abandoned and without resources. Of course I have my own two feet. My dogs got out...
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maresie2
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11
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616
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Long Time No See
(Preview)
Hi All, Haven't been around but have still been checking out the board now and again. Since hubby cleared up 7 year old outstanding warrants in Rhode Island back in July things have been going very smoothly. He has been on the sober path again. Even with my bankruptcy 3 years ago I was able to secure a m...
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lebe27
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7
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445
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detatching from family members
(Preview)
Hi everyone, It's been a while since I've posted. I've just been reading posts. I've been working very hard at detatching from people who are affected by the disease of alcoholism, namely my family members. As I get better, which is great, I can see how the illness affects them with greater clarity. I h...
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annmarie
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3
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606
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New Member
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I've never joined a message board for ANYTHING, let alone for advice and community, so please bear with me if I'm way off on etiquette, etc. In addition, if you have anything to say, thats why I'm here! So, good or bad, critical or sympathetic, let it flow. I feel like I'm in a corner, but k...
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Intrepid
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17
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543
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mspw on break
(Preview)
Hi all, I have been traveling for a week, and missing you all so much that I actually paid Tmobile to get online for a day! rofl. Will be back next week, but wanted to check in. You will never know, but I am suggesting here and now that you helped me more than you know to deal with family visits with a g...
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wp
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4
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410
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Living in fear
(Preview)
I have lived in fear my entire life. Intense fear of the next intoxicated belligerent episode. Will it be loud? Will it last long? Will anyone be physically injured? Will someone leave mad? Will it be me? For many years it was my mother who brought this chaos to my life. And I thought I had fixed that part o...
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Cheryl28659
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7
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554
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Feeling of impending doom
(Preview)
Since A will be out in a week, I have been getting that feeling of impending doom lately I hear the star wars darth vader entering the room music...LOL. I guess I haven't given much thought to him and his visitation of our son since it hasn't been a concern the past few months but I know it's going to hit the...
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carolinagirl
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12
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1187
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