Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hi All - New Member · GrpThrpy41

Hello, I am new to the forum and wanted to say hi. I heard about the forum today via my husband's therapist. Today, for the first time ever, he asked me if I would join him for his therapy session. He started seeing a therapist within the last month after our fighting over his use got especially bad. I am th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I saw my mom & survived the visit. I was so worried about what she might say about the past. She is in an assisted living center for mentally I'll people. She is doing well but me I feel anxiety because of the visit. It was too close to home

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the relationship we have w our HP and how sometimes we may question it or the strength of the connection there. The writer mentions that after the loss of his parents he also felt the loss of his connection w God, or at least felt an abandonment at that tim...

bud · bud

I knew better but still have old unhealthy patterns of being conflict avoidant at any cost. I've recently been shocked at a "friend's" behavior towards me name calling, standing me up for plans and after I'm there sending a lame text "I'm out having fun with X, hope you're not upset." She had borrowed e...

Freetime · Freetime

One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, October 12, is the fable of a woman who kept her alcoholic husband and her three teenage children under her Enormous Thumb. Because they were stuck under the Enormous Thumb, the husband and kids were flattened and could not do any growing up. The woman was a Very Nice Lady, wh...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 9 speaks about our attitudes towards God.,prior to entering program. The reading suggests that many of us looked at God as an adversary and refused to reach out for help. I can so identify with that feeling. When the pain of addiction became too much, the reading indi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses how many of us tend to look for answers by over-analyzing with often black/white thinking. Many of us, when new to Al-Anon, were asked to learn about the disease of alcoholism. Many of us again sought to read, study, analyze all that we could on the subject. We then began t...

norasq · norasq

Hi - Im struggling with a situation and would welcome any ESH. i have been separated from my X-AH for 5 years, divorced for 1.5 yrs. his drinking and Xanax use were big issues. he was a zombie or mean and biting for the last few years. Denied having a proglem with substances. Refused to get help or do couns...

Carla61 · Carla61

My AH is adopted And met many of his brothers and sisters through ancestry.com. These people are in town tonight and he wants to have dinner with them I'm ok with that. However he texted me to call his IOP program to tell them he will not be there tonight because of a work crisis. I told him to call them hims...

pikelpak · pikelpak

Hi all, I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. We have a step meeting in our city, which is really helpful for recovery. We have been recently getting into the discussion, how much we can deviate from the step (one step a month, say, step 9 for September). I first thought, the step is like a topic in any other Al...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I knew his path must be taking him here, but it picked up speed so quickly that it is shocking. Unlike many A's, he has not been in and out of the ER or had multiple medical emergencies... hadn't been to a dr in over three years, and now he is in a nursing home and his body is shutting down from liver and kidney...

Pol · Pol

I consider myself new to alanon because I feel I don't have it down yet like other long time members do. But the trouble I'm having is that I don't know if I want to stick to the program. The reason I joined alanon was because alcoholism has effected me and is still continuing to do its damage. Because of thi...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about accepting what we cannot change and changing what we can. The author shares that, as a child, they used to cling to the door handle of the car when the car went around a sharp curve so as to prevent the car from going over the edge. Of course,...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is both about the unique relationship of sponsor/sponsee and the gift of hearing and listening to our HPs will. The writer describes how early in the program as he/she was without a sponsor, the perception of the person who would one day become the sponsor was t...

Jozie · Jozie

Boy this Disease I Swear sits like a Gargoyle on a Post Waiting to Attack at any moment in my Family... One of the Hardest things I have had to work on thru my Own addiction is "Judgment" In my Family Everyone Judges Everyone (Mostly Based on Opinion) Never on Honest Truth, because Honestly I don't know...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This is along the lines of another poster who spoke of "the lies". My understanding of the disease of addiction is it will do anything to survive and if given a place to hide it will remain stagnated however active in thought and deed. That doesn't mean out right confrontation is a solution .. althou...

Lyne · Lyne

I learned on Friday that a childhood friend died from breast cancer. I had little contact with her in my adult life, but did send a yearly birthday and holiday card. About two years ago we talked about making amends in my F2F meeting, and I realized with all the amends I had made, I owed her one. I didn't w...

Lyne · Lyne

Recovery, miracles, and gratitude: The writer points out that in spite of frustration, anger, disappointment, and anxiety, brought forth from coping with a loved one's alcoholism , they could still learn to live a serene and happy life. The writer says that this alone is a miracle, and by practic...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

This reading from "The Language of Letting Go," By M. Beattie jumped out at me, and stuck with me throughout my day. So much so that I asked permission to post it. I think it may help others who like me, find themselves in the "second-half" of their life and are without their spouse who was the main bread-w...

RachelsMom · RachelsMom

Hi there! I've had a couple of good months with daughter making some progress. But, alas, the peaceful period of time is over. Again. She had a job but lost it. Moved in with a guy she had just met and, amazingly, it was going pretty well. This guy was her age (28) and was a father at 18. His Father had to sen...

Lyne · Lyne

In about an hour I am going to take a walk with my brother who abused me in childhood into teen years. I have decided that besides for his bad health heart-wise, that it may help me overcome my PTSD if I can be with him and feel in control. All my work in program has brought me to this point of strength and con...

el-cee · el-cee

Im thinking more and more about step 3 and God's will for me. I feel step 3 is a really important step and my understanding is becoming deeper. 'Made a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understood him.' I can see that I have made the decision over the years without fully under...

a4l · a4l

Greetings MIP family. Today's reading speaks about how growth in recovery is an ongoing process and opportunity. "Although the crisis that bought us to Alanon may be past, there is always something new to learn, even after years of recovery".I am reminded in this reading of my own perspective tow...

Freetime · Freetime

This page talks about replacing negativity with gratitude for the positive qualities in ourselves, our circumstances, and other human beings. Negativity keeps our life at a standstill. The writer believes they have a beautiful spirit that has been created for some purpose, as do the other peopl...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Reading posts recently about whether or not our actions are enabling - reminded me of an old post of mine, with some awesome reminders from one of the leaders in the field - Toby Rice Drews (author of the Getting Them Sober series of books). She has an awesome, gentle, supportive way of saying so much - I...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi Y'all, I borrowed the title off of another member... My own take was a little boat sailing out into the surf. What I didn't say was that my sister and two brothers were on the boat with crowbars- ramming holes in the bottom. Or that is how it feels like to me. Not only am I affected, but I am surrounded with...

a4l · a4l

It's been a painful year. Painful in the ego sense I guess and my little people have had to endure a really tired mother. I feel at times really close to giving up, usually when I am confronted with huge mountains of washing, a bar of laundry soap and my two hands. I get a case of the "poor me's" and the "wh...

Carla61 · Carla61

I love my husband, don't get me wrong, I'm just done with the lies . I can support him when he is sober, but when he drinks, I just want to ignore him. Am I wrong? Please help me.

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about compassion. The author shares that at first, they did not know what compassion was, but they could identify what it was not. Compassion was not seeking revenge, holding a grudge, calling names, throwing things, etc. So the author began to try...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Posting for tomorrow - I've got golf plans... The reading in courage talks about how we suggest concentrating on our similarities instead of our differences. When we remember why we are all here, we need never feel alone. We do have differences and there is no reason they should not be acknowledged...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I have been thinking about something for about a week. Using my tools, etc. The latest I have settled on is, "When in doubt don't." The crazy thing is, I am having doubts about that! LOL! Today is my Ex's birthday. Last week his mother invited myself and Kid to a birthday get-together at her house this Su...

serenity47 · serenity47

I am feeling sad and frustrated today. My grown children whom have always been very close growing up are having a major falling out. We had attended the funeral of my sons young friend yesterday (age 18). My grown AD came to support her brother but that support was rejected by him. I know he is hurti...

hotrod · hotrod

Yhe ODAT reading for Oct 2 speaks about. Al-Anon being a fellowship of equals.The reading points out the danger of having a "managing controlling person directing the meetings. The discussion goes on to explain that if we were not a fellowship of equals no one would be free enough to think or a...

Lyne · Lyne

Chaos: The writer discusses the warning signs that their life has become unmanageable --racing thoughts going through their mind at an alarming speed--memories, broken promises, future fears, failed expectations, etc. Yet serenity is easily attainable with a phone call, acknowledgement o...

Bo · Bo

Some recent threads started me thinking -- when denial breaks, recovery and getting better, and gratitude -- made me think about all of these things. This Sunday is the anniversary of the death of a very good friend. While I met him "in the rooms" and some people here may not appreciate or relate to that...

A nother · A nother

So, I had a migraine this week. A worse than normal one for me. The day after the pain went I told him that I understood that he couldn't stop drinking. This was part of a bigger conversation about how I don't want to have to talk to him about his drinking or our relationship when he has been drinking (on Tues...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... I run towards the roar means I face things head on, right? My picture is much more gentle and sedate. I picture a wooden rowing boat heading out through the surf to open water. I have to keep alert and have a good hold on both oars. I just keep the prow of the boat facing into the waves. I ke...

hotrod · hotrod

ODAT reading for 9-29 reviews the slogan "Listen and learn": It reminds us that "Listen and learn is a sound doctrine, if we use it well. We do not make significant progress in our thinking if we're only listening to ourselves talk.and one of its quotes:"I pray that I may learn from listening whet...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about forgiveness, expectations, acceptance. The writer describes approaching his/her father to describe the hurt associated with growing up in an alcoholic home. The writer imagined airing out these hurts and hearing an apology (this was an expectat...

ling · ling

Hi AH has been with friends living away for a couple of weeks to rehab. He has no money should I send him some or is ithat enabling?

MellyBobelly · MellyBobelly

Hey guys. Thought I'd check in and say hi. How is everyone? I'm good, a little stressed at the mo as tomorrow I have to drive to the middle of nowhere and do camping The kid wanted to go to this particular music festival and of course I don't have the $$ to buy tickets so I volunteered us almost a year ago to d...

Freetime · Freetime

In Courage to Change, September 28, the writer proposed an idea to a home group business meeting. The group conscience did not vote in favor of the idea, but did vote to support another person's proposal. The writer let go of the feelings of wounded pride by remembering to Place Principles above Pers...

Temple · Temple

I am printing the entire thread on When Denial Breaks. What a lovely group of people are here. I am constantly amazed at the wisdom and compassion and generosity you all possess. . I think that whatever problem one might have, reading the entire thread will give direction, clues, answers. And I...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Tomorrow's reading is another reminder for us to focus on just one day at a time - this very day. I really like the quote from Just For Today --- "Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once." The reminder -- An old maxim says, "It'll shine when it shines."...

MellyBobelly · MellyBobelly

Hello MIP! It's been a long time since I visited here. I hope everyone is well! I don't spend much time online these days as it seems to take me to a bad place when I do, I tend to hide in my computer instead of dealing with things. It was probably fairly obvious that I had a lot of work to do on myself and I wasn't...

bud · bud

I'm really struggling this month... ... as one enormous thing resolves, another enormous brick wall crops up as if on cue. A work colleague called me today and let me know that he doesn't agree with my approach and had already let our mutual clients know. It wasn't a conversation he wasn't interested i...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi Family :) I Remember when I Landed here 10 yrs ago, I was coming to save my Baby brother from this disease, after just losing my Afather to it... I am the Older sister, so in my Family I was more of a Mother to him then his Sister, (I'm 6 yrs older) and as Children in our alcoholic home, My Mom worked anywhere...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about feelings and emotions. The author shares that when they first came to Al-Anon, they thought of anger, resentment, fear, etc. as negative emotions. Through work in the program, the author realized that emotions and feelings are not good or ba...

lookingup · lookingup

im been having troubles with getting my mirc server up n running, i got mirc downloaded,just don't know where to go from there to get my mip scripts etc.. can anybody help me or direct me to the right source to help. thanks in advance. Patricia(Lookingup)))))

bbyturtle · bbyturtle

Hi, I am new to al-anon and rehab and anything drug related actually. For the past four years I had been in a relationship with a heroin addict however, we broke up about a year and a half ago but have stayed connected and felt we were meant for each other. I ended things because of the drug addiction and sai...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am a little unsettled but I realize that I have purpose. This is short. I have little time & lots of anxiety. I get through these uncertain times because I know it is not going to be this way forever. It may not get better but it will get different.

canadianguy · canadianguy

My Picker may well be broken, or maybe it is exactly where it is supposed to be.... I have been single for some time, and struggling to find the right relationship for me - dating a fair amount, but difficult to find the right chemistry.... A month or so ago, I met this really upbeat lady (S) - fun, intelli...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for Sept 25 speaks about. Al-Anon being the road to" personal freedom". The discussion goes on to explain that there are many difficult family situations in which we are involved so we must realize that the most important word in the above statement is"personal".. This per...

mamalioness · mamalioness

One should not give up, neglect, or forget for a moment his inner life,but he must learn to work in it, with it, and out of it, so that the unityof his soul may break out in all his activities.--Meister EckhartAll people, have goodness in their hearts and greatness in their souls.--ShelleyThe more I let...

hellohellohello · hellohellohello

I'm really new to Al-anon and I could use some experience strength and hope. My husband is an addict and has been going to a program for almost three years and hasn't been sober a single day. I've been in a lot of denial about how bad his problem really is, and also about how bad our financial situation is. I...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading tor today speaks about the importance of the 5th Step . It notes that this is an extremely important, personal step That requires that we share our private thoughts and experiences with another person.. The reading suggests that this step offers personal freedom to the person...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I wont be on the computer tomorrow, going to hang out with some friends and talk with younger daughter and make it a fun day. Anybody who was born near me, happy birthday, the greatest gift I ever got was getting into recovery and meeting up with the loving people on this Alanon site and also next-door. I...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everybody: Todays Hope for Today is a focus of our slogan How Important Is It? The writer describes a childhood in which he/she felt the need to be perfect in reaction to growing up with the chaos of an alcoholic mother. The result was constant self beratement that nothing was ever good...

Lyne · Lyne

Home movies: The writer for today says you can view your life situation with major importance, like a technicolor movie , with your name up in lights. Or you can see yourself in your home movies, like many others, which makes your movie important, but not an extravaganza. The writer remarks they re...

hotrod · hotrod

Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery togethe ...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hi All - New Member (Preview) Hello, I am new to the forum and wanted to say hi. I heard about the forum today via my husband's therapist. Today, for the first time ever, he asked me if I would join him for his therapy session. He started seeing a therapist within the last month after our fighting over his use got especially bad. I am th...	GrpThrpy41	9	2964	Oct 15, 2018 by jitsuka
	I survived! (Preview) I saw my mom & survived the visit. I was so worried about what she might say about the past. She is in an assisted living center for mentally I'll people. She is doing well but me I feel anxiety because of the visit. It was too close to home	Hoot Nanny	4	2933	Oct 14, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope for Today October 14 (Preview) good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the relationship we have w our HP and how sometimes we may question it or the strength of the connection there. The writer mentions that after the loss of his parents he also felt the loss of his connection w God, or at least felt an abandonment at that tim...	yanksfan51	2	2579	Oct 14, 2018 by Iamhere
	Alanon tools for dignity (Preview) I knew better but still have old unhealthy patterns of being conflict avoidant at any cost. I've recently been shocked at a "friend's" behavior towards me name calling, standing me up for plans and after I'm there sending a lame text "I'm out having fun with X, hope you're not upset." She had borrowed e...	bud	13	2737	Oct 12, 2018 by bud
	ODAT 10/12/18 (Preview) One Day At a Time in Al-Anon, October 12, is the fable of a woman who kept her alcoholic husband and her three teenage children under her Enormous Thumb. Because they were stuck under the Enormous Thumb, the husband and kids were flattened and could not do any growing up. The woman was a Very Nice Lady, wh...	Freetime	10	2554	Oct 12, 2018 by Pol
	C2C 10-9 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 9 speaks about our attitudes towards God.,prior to entering program. The reading suggests that many of us looked at God as an adversary and refused to reach out for help. I can so identify with that feeling. When the pain of addiction became too much, the reading indi...	hotrod	6	2033	Oct 12, 2018 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 10/11/18 (Preview) Today's reading discusses how many of us tend to look for answers by over-analyzing with often black/white thinking. Many of us, when new to Al-Anon, were asked to learn about the disease of alcoholism. Many of us again sought to read, study, analyze all that we could on the subject. We then began t...	Iamhere	6	2949	Oct 12, 2018 by mamalioness
	Boundaries and trying to stay in my lane (Preview) Hi - Im struggling with a situation and would welcome any ESH. i have been separated from my X-AH for 5 years, divorced for 1.5 yrs. his drinking and Xanax use were big issues. he was a zombie or mean and biting for the last few years. Denied having a proglem with substances. Refused to get help or do couns...	norasq	14	1471	Oct 11, 2018 by Pol
	Baby steps (Preview) My AH is adopted And met many of his brothers and sisters through ancestry.com. These people are in town tonight and he wants to have dinner with them I'm ok with that. However he texted me to call his IOP program to tell them he will not be there tonight because of a work crisis. I told him to call them hims...	Carla61	13	1066	Oct 11, 2018 by Pol
	Step meetings (Preview) Hi all, I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. We have a step meeting in our city, which is really helpful for recovery. We have been recently getting into the discussion, how much we can deviate from the step (one step a month, say, step 9 for September). I first thought, the step is like a topic in any other Al...	pikelpak	4	854	Oct 10, 2018 by pikelpak
	it's come to this: ex-AH has liver failure and is on hospice (Preview) I knew his path must be taking him here, but it picked up speed so quickly that it is shocking. Unlike many A's, he has not been in and out of the ER or had multiple medical emergencies... hadn't been to a dr in over three years, and now he is in a nursing home and his body is shutting down from liver and kidney...	oceanpine	28	1062	Oct 10, 2018 by Jazzie18
	The addiction of Drama (Preview) I consider myself new to alanon because I feel I don't have it down yet like other long time members do. But the trouble I'm having is that I don't know if I want to stick to the program. The reason I joined alanon was because alcoholism has effected me and is still continuing to do its damage. Because of thi...	Pol	10	959	Oct 10, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change October 10 (Preview) Good morning MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about accepting what we cannot change and changing what we can. The author shares that, as a child, they used to cling to the door handle of the car when the car went around a sharp curve so as to prevent the car from going over the edge. Of course,...	Skorpi	4	750	Oct 10, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope for Today Oct 7 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is both about the unique relationship of sponsor/sponsee and the gift of hearing and listening to our HPs will. The writer describes how early in the program as he/she was without a sponsor, the perception of the person who would one day become the sponsor was t...	yanksfan51	4	2127	Oct 9, 2018 by DavidG
	This Disease runs Deeper then any Bloodline... (Preview) Boy this Disease I Swear sits like a Gargoyle on a Post Waiting to Attack at any moment in my Family... One of the Hardest things I have had to work on thru my Own addiction is "Judgment" In my Family Everyone Judges Everyone (Mostly Based on Opinion) Never on Honest Truth, because Honestly I don't know...	Jozie	4	619	Oct 9, 2018 by Jozie
	Changing relationships .. (Preview) This is along the lines of another poster who spoke of "the lies". My understanding of the disease of addiction is it will do anything to survive and if given a place to hide it will remain stagnated however active in thought and deed. That doesn't mean out right confrontation is a solution .. althou...	SerenityRUS	9	736	Oct 8, 2018 by andromeda
	Made amends thank God (Preview) I learned on Friday that a childhood friend died from breast cancer. I had little contact with her in my adult life, but did send a yearly birthday and holiday card. About two years ago we talked about making amends in my F2F meeting, and I realized with all the amends I had made, I owed her one. I didn't w...	Lyne	7	634	Oct 8, 2018 by JerryF
	C2C, 10/8 (Preview) Recovery, miracles, and gratitude: The writer points out that in spite of frustration, anger, disappointment, and anxiety, brought forth from coping with a loved one's alcoholism , they could still learn to live a serene and happy life. The writer says that this alone is a miracle, and by practic...	Lyne	6	539	Oct 8, 2018 by Pol
	Faith & Money (Preview) This reading from "The Language of Letting Go," By M. Beattie jumped out at me, and stuck with me throughout my day. So much so that I asked permission to post it. I think it may help others who like me, find themselves in the "second-half" of their life and are without their spouse who was the main bread-w...	PosiesandPuppies	2	668	Oct 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	Problem child update (it's been awhile) (Preview) Hi there! I've had a couple of good months with daughter making some progress. But, alas, the peaceful period of time is over. Again. She had a job but lost it. Moved in with a guy she had just met and, amazingly, it was going pretty well. This guy was her age (28) and was a father at 18. His Father had to sen...	RachelsMom	7	674	Oct 8, 2018 by Jozie
	taking a walk (Preview) In about an hour I am going to take a walk with my brother who abused me in childhood into teen years. I have decided that besides for his bad health heart-wise, that it may help me overcome my PTSD if I can be with him and feel in control. All my work in program has brought me to this point of strength and con...	Lyne	9	668	Oct 6, 2018 by hotrod
	God's Will (Preview) Im thinking more and more about step 3 and God's will for me. I feel step 3 is a really important step and my understanding is becoming deeper. 'Made a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understood him.' I can see that I have made the decision over the years without fully under...	el-cee	8	893	Oct 6, 2018 by JerryF
	C2C 10/6/2018 (Preview) Greetings MIP family. Today's reading speaks about how growth in recovery is an ongoing process and opportunity. "Although the crisis that bought us to Alanon may be past, there is always something new to learn, even after years of recovery".I am reminded in this reading of my own perspective tow...	a4l	4	598	Oct 6, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change 10/5/18 (Preview) This page talks about replacing negativity with gratitude for the positive qualities in ourselves, our circumstances, and other human beings. Negativity keeps our life at a standstill. The writer believes they have a beautiful spirit that has been created for some purpose, as do the other peopl...	Freetime	6	620	Oct 5, 2018 by Iamhere
	Labels of enabler or codependent..... (Preview) Reading posts recently about whether or not our actions are enabling - reminded me of an old post of mine, with some awesome reminders from one of the leaders in the field - Toby Rice Drews (author of the Getting Them Sober series of books). She has an awesome, gentle, supportive way of saying so much - I...	canadianguy	7	818	Oct 5, 2018 by Pol
	"I run towards the roar..." ... II (Preview) Hi Y'all, I borrowed the title off of another member... My own take was a little boat sailing out into the surf. What I didn't say was that my sister and two brothers were on the boat with crowbars- ramming holes in the bottom. Or that is how it feels like to me. Not only am I affected, but I am surrounded with...	DavidG	9	1117	Oct 5, 2018 by Bo
	Needing to start again. Again! lol (Preview) It's been a painful year. Painful in the ego sense I guess and my little people have had to endure a really tired mother. I feel at times really close to giving up, usually when I am confronted with huge mountains of washing, a bar of laundry soap and my two hands. I get a case of the "poor me's" and the "wh...	a4l	8	685	Oct 5, 2018 by hotrod
	The lies (Preview) I love my husband, don't get me wrong, I'm just done with the lies . I can support him when he is sober, but when he drinks, I just want to ignore him. Am I wrong? Please help me.	Carla61	13	770	Oct 4, 2018 by Jen61
	Courage to Change October 3 2018 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about compassion. The author shares that at first, they did not know what compassion was, but they could identify what it was not. Compassion was not seeking revenge, holding a grudge, calling names, throwing things, etc. So the author began to try...	Skorpi	7	594	Oct 4, 2018 by serenity47
	Courage to Change 10/4/18 (Preview) Posting for tomorrow - I've got golf plans... The reading in courage talks about how we suggest concentrating on our similarities instead of our differences. When we remember why we are all here, we need never feel alone. We do have differences and there is no reason they should not be acknowledged...	Iamhere	3	853	Oct 4, 2018 by Skorpi
	I think I need help with the way I feel (Preview) I have been thinking about something for about a week. Using my tools, etc. The latest I have settled on is, "When in doubt don't." The crazy thing is, I am having doubts about that! LOL! Today is my Ex's birthday. Last week his mother invited myself and Kid to a birthday get-together at her house this Su...	PosiesandPuppies	17	776	Oct 3, 2018 by Iamhere
	Stress and grief shines a light on the fractures in the family (Preview) I am feeling sad and frustrated today. My grown children whom have always been very close growing up are having a major falling out. We had attended the funeral of my sons young friend yesterday (age 18). My grown AD came to support her brother but that support was rejected by him. I know he is hurti...	serenity47	9	831	Oct 2, 2018 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 10-2 (Preview) Yhe ODAT reading for Oct 2 speaks about. Al-Anon being a fellowship of equals.The reading points out the danger of having a "managing controlling person directing the meetings. The discussion goes on to explain that if we were not a fellowship of equals no one would be free enough to think or a...	hotrod	3	567	Oct 2, 2018 by Iamhere
	C2C, 10/1 (Preview) Chaos: The writer discusses the warning signs that their life has become unmanageable --racing thoughts going through their mind at an alarming speed--memories, broken promises, future fears, failed expectations, etc. Yet serenity is easily attainable with a phone call, acknowledgement o...	Lyne	11	675	Oct 1, 2018 by Iamhere
	Denial? Recovery? Gratitude? (Preview) Some recent threads started me thinking -- when denial breaks, recovery and getting better, and gratitude -- made me think about all of these things. This Sunday is the anniversary of the death of a very good friend. While I met him "in the rooms" and some people here may not appreciate or relate to that...	Bo	15	776	Oct 1, 2018 by Bo
	Did I enable him? (Preview) So, I had a migraine this week. A worse than normal one for me. The day after the pain went I told him that I understood that he couldn't stop drinking. This was part of a bigger conversation about how I don't want to have to talk to him about his drinking or our relationship when he has been drinking (on Tues...	A nother	14	870	Oct 1, 2018 by Bo
	"I run towards the roar..." ... (Preview) Hi y'all... I run towards the roar means I face things head on, right? My picture is much more gentle and sedate. I picture a wooden rowing boat heading out through the surf to open water. I have to keep alert and have a good hold on both oars. I just keep the prow of the boat facing into the waves. I ke...	DavidG	20	1983	Oct 1, 2018 by bud
	ODAT 9-29 (Preview) ODAT reading for 9-29 reviews the slogan "Listen and learn": It reminds us that "Listen and learn is a sound doctrine, if we use it well. We do not make significant progress in our thinking if we're only listening to ourselves talk.and one of its quotes:"I pray that I may learn from listening whet...	hotrod	5	631	Sep 30, 2018 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today Sept 30 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about forgiveness, expectations, acceptance. The writer describes approaching his/her father to describe the hurt associated with growing up in an alcoholic home. The writer imagined airing out these hurts and hearing an apology (this was an expectat...	yanksfan51	5	570	Sep 30, 2018 by mamalioness
	money money money (Preview) Hi AH has been with friends living away for a couple of weeks to rehab. He has no money should I send him some or is ithat enabling?	ling	6	758	Sep 30, 2018 by Bo
	Hey Hey kids, it's Mel. (Preview) Hey guys. Thought I'd check in and say hi. How is everyone? I'm good, a little stressed at the mo as tomorrow I have to drive to the middle of nowhere and do camping The kid wanted to go to this particular music festival and of course I don't have the $$ to buy tickets so I volunteered us almost a year ago to d...	MellyBobelly	28	1459	Sep 30, 2018 by lookingup
	C2C 9/28/18 -- Letting Go (Preview) In Courage to Change, September 28, the writer proposed an idea to a home group business meeting. The group conscience did not vote in favor of the idea, but did vote to support another person's proposal. The writer let go of the feelings of wounded pride by remembering to Place Principles above Pers...	Freetime	5	682	Sep 28, 2018 by Bo
	Gratitude (Preview) I am printing the entire thread on When Denial Breaks. What a lovely group of people are here. I am constantly amazed at the wisdom and compassion and generosity you all possess. . I think that whatever problem one might have, reading the entire thread will give direction, clues, answers. And I...	Temple	6	683	Sep 27, 2018 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change 9/27/18 (Preview) Tomorrow's reading is another reminder for us to focus on just one day at a time - this very day. I really like the quote from Just For Today --- "Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once." The reminder -- An old maxim says, "It'll shine when it shines."...	Iamhere	6	683	Sep 27, 2018 by hotrod
	Hellooo (Preview) Hello MIP! It's been a long time since I visited here. I hope everyone is well! I don't spend much time online these days as it seems to take me to a bad place when I do, I tend to hide in my computer instead of dealing with things. It was probably fairly obvious that I had a lot of work to do on myself and I wasn't...	MellyBobelly	13	722	Sep 27, 2018 by Temple
	Abusive coworker - ESH needed for next right step please (Preview) I'm really struggling this month... ... as one enormous thing resolves, another enormous brick wall crops up as if on cue. A work colleague called me today and let me know that he doesn't agree with my approach and had already let our mutual clients know. It wasn't a conversation he wasn't interested i...	bud	14	746	Sep 27, 2018 by Jen61
	The Moment I Felt the Shift... (Preview) Hi Family :) I Remember when I Landed here 10 yrs ago, I was coming to save my Baby brother from this disease, after just losing my Afather to it... I am the Older sister, so in my Family I was more of a Mother to him then his Sister, (I'm 6 yrs older) and as Children in our alcoholic home, My Mom worked anywhere...	Jozie	7	715	Sep 27, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change September 26 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about feelings and emotions. The author shares that when they first came to Al-Anon, they thought of anger, resentment, fear, etc. as negative emotions. Through work in the program, the author realized that emotions and feelings are not good or ba...	Skorpi	4	634	Sep 26, 2018 by mamalioness
	mIRC (Preview) im been having troubles with getting my mirc server up n running, i got mirc downloaded,just don't know where to go from there to get my mip scripts etc.. can anybody help me or direct me to the right source to help. thanks in advance. Patricia(Lookingup)))))	lookingup	6	676	Sep 26, 2018 by mamalioness
	Not Sure what to do about the Heroin addict in my life (Preview) Hi, I am new to al-anon and rehab and anything drug related actually. For the past four years I had been in a relationship with a heroin addict however, we broke up about a year and a half ago but have stayed connected and felt we were meant for each other. I ended things because of the drug addiction and sai...	bbyturtle	4	691	Sep 26, 2018 by mamalioness
	where do I go from here (Preview) I am a little unsettled but I realize that I have purpose. This is short. I have little time & lots of anxiety. I get through these uncertain times because I know it is not going to be this way forever. It may not get better but it will get different.	Hoot Nanny	1	667	Sep 26, 2018 by hotrod
	My Picker may be broken?? (Preview) My Picker may well be broken, or maybe it is exactly where it is supposed to be.... I have been single for some time, and struggling to find the right relationship for me - dating a fair amount, but difficult to find the right chemistry.... A month or so ago, I met this really upbeat lady (S) - fun, intelli...	canadianguy	17	896	Sep 26, 2018 by Jozie
	ODAT Reading 9-25 (Preview) The ODAT reading for Sept 25 speaks about. Al-Anon being the road to" personal freedom". The discussion goes on to explain that there are many difficult family situations in which we are involved so we must realize that the most important word in the above statement is"personal".. This per...	hotrod	6	1801	Sep 25, 2018 by mamalioness
	Tid bits of wisdom_25 Sept (Preview) One should not give up, neglect, or forget for a moment his inner life,but he must learn to work in it, with it, and out of it, so that the unityof his soul may break out in all his activities.--Meister EckhartAll people, have goodness in their hearts and greatness in their souls.--ShelleyThe more I let...	mamalioness	6	2598	Sep 25, 2018 by Bo
	What do you do when denial breaks and you realize your life is a lie (Preview) I'm really new to Al-anon and I could use some experience strength and hope. My husband is an addict and has been going to a program for almost three years and hasn't been sober a single day. I've been in a lot of denial about how bad his problem really is, and also about how bad our financial situation is. I...	hellohellohello	18	956	Sep 25, 2018 by hellohellohello
	C2C Reading 9-22 (Preview) The C2C reading tor today speaks about the importance of the 5th Step . It notes that this is an extremely important, personal step That requires that we share our private thoughts and experiences with another person.. The reading suggests that this step offers personal freedom to the person...	hotrod	8	578	Sep 24, 2018 by mamalioness
	22 Sept. Happy birthday to me and anyone near my day (Preview) I wont be on the computer tomorrow, going to hang out with some friends and talk with younger daughter and make it a fun day. Anybody who was born near me, happy birthday, the greatest gift I ever got was getting into recovery and meeting up with the loving people on this Alanon site and also next-door. I...	mamalioness	13	628	Sep 24, 2018 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today Sept 23 (Preview) Good morning Everybody: Todays Hope for Today is a focus of our slogan How Important Is It? The writer describes a childhood in which he/she felt the need to be perfect in reaction to growing up with the chaos of an alcoholic mother. The result was constant self beratement that nothing was ever good...	yanksfan51	7	612	Sep 24, 2018 by mamalioness
	C2C, 9/24 (Preview) Home movies: The writer for today says you can view your life situation with major importance, like a technicolor movie , with your name up in lights. Or you can see yourself in your home movies, like many others, which makes your movie important, but not an extravaganza. The writer remarks they re...	Lyne	6	600	Sep 24, 2018 by mamalioness
	Step 10 posted to the Step Board (Preview) Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery togethe ...	hotrod	0	501	Sep 24, 2018 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.