Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Can we Listen and Learn from all shares in AlAnon? Today's writer first thought not, as not all in AlAnon follow suggestions such as not giving advice to others, or they may choose to constantly blame the alcoholic for how they feel.The page suggests, however, that this is the perfect time to analyze o...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I said goodbye to my mom tonight. Said what I had to say. She heard me. She is non responsive. Can't say much more but my family is coming up even though it is not a good idea. I need support as I go through this journey.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

For all you who don't my story: I have been going down the path of letting go of my mom for several years now. She has been fighting mental illness for a long time as well. Now the time has come to really starting to say my final goodbyes. She is failing & is about 200 miles away from me in assisted living....

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Hello MIP! Today's reading from C2C is about feelings. The book talks about when the author first came to Al-Anon... the feelings they had, anger, resentment, fear, jealousy were all wrapped up in one adjective, "bad." Al-Anon helped the author to see and to understand that feelings are neither goo...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 9/28, reflects upon why we go to alanon: to learn about alcoholism and its devastating results, that there is no cure, but sobriety is possible through AA, WHEN THE ALCOHOLIC IS READY. We also learn that we too, went downhill, and an honest appraisal of ourselves leads to imp...

DavidG · DavidG

I have a letter on my table... three foolscap pages of neatly written words... I have always loved letter- from when i was a kid- both sending and receiving... My nephew's partner responded to a card I sent to her treatment centre. Have been there myself, [as a family member] i saw the need for outsi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Thursday MIP family. Today's reading discusses how working the program helps us place our problems in true perspective. The quote of the day is from the Al-Anon suggested welcome - ". . . As we learn to place our problem in its true perspective, we find it loses its power to dominate our thought...

Freetime · Freetime

Step Three -- the author of today's page takes it over and over again, but usually waits until a problem is overwhelming before turning it over to the care of a Higher Power. The author is working on placing their entire will and life into their Higher Power's hands willingly, no matter what, writing "....

JerryF · JerryF

I haven't seen or read this pamphlet for a long time. My wife had it in her literature for a while and handed it to me this evening as I was reading Al-Anon literature. The title is THREE VIEWS OF AL-ANON...Alcoholics Speak to the Family. It was composed for Al-Anon by AA and is very telling. I believ...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I haven't been on here in a very long time I think. I am curious why I am unable to get on the mobile app? I just wonder. Things are better in my life after a lot of setbacks. I really need to get back on track. I have been trying to live w faith over fear. It has been easier w time. I feel some sense of relief. I have...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

One of the charecteristics of being in a relationship with an alcoholic is having a hard time. No matter what the alcoholic seems to.make life harder, much much harder. I already have a full olate. In a oandemic year that can put someone over the edge. This is a tine for me to be even mire cautious. In my...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... Spring is here- but the mornings are still cool. So I did my Step 11 in bed- stretched out like a cat. A good healthy cough often kicks starts my day. I have done a lot of breathing work over the last 5 years. Much more idea now of how a healthy body works. I do my meditation when I wake up- and do...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Another perfectly timed C2C reading for me today! In today's reading, the author reflects on one of their character flaws - responding in kind to behavior directed at the author. Reacting to insults with insults, or rudeness with rudeness. One day, the author noticed that an Al-Anon fri...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I am blessed and humbled to celebrate my birthday with my brother from another mother, Jerry! Happy, happy birthday brother - please know I am extremely grateful to have you be a part of my journey! May this day be lovely for you and me and all of MIP. I am posting the daily for 9/19, Saturday, for PnP. Sh...

Lyne · Lyne

To be honest, I got stuck in a bad place for a few weeks. I have had multiple stressors, none life-threatening, but I couldnt overcome my defeatist mind set. This hasnt happened to me in several years. Usually my tools kick right in and Im back on track. I have focused hard especially on acceptance o...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

What we choose to focus on determines what looms largest in our mind. Today's reading reminds us that we have a choice: negatives and small annoyances that will grow into resentments, or positives that can also grow, that broaden our sense of well being and effectively reduce the influence and appea...

Ems298 · Ems298

My Brothers death from liver cirrhosis Hi everyone. Id like to share my story which is still very raw but this feels like the right place and the right time. My brother was an alcoholic for some years. It only became apparent to what extent around 2.5 years ago though. This was when him and his wife se...

DavidG · DavidG

Kia ora koutou... Howdy y'all... ... Generally I would get up on Saturday morning and share something. It is much later in the day now. Being a member of this group is like having four or more meetings a week. The scope is immense. And our members are drawn from every point in the globe- a great contras...

Lyne · Lyne

For Monday, 9/21, the writer talks about dreading change and being comfortable with chaos. Since change is inevitable, the author decided not to assume that change is bad. Actually, they see that changes have had a positive effect, such as coming to alanon. The writer still has many fears, but tr...

Freetime · Freetime

The author of today's reading in Hope for Today came into Al-Anon not interested in a Higher Power and skeptical of all the God references in the Twelve Steps. They didn't think they wanted or needed a higher power. Others in the program shared their own experiences without telling the author what to...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a description of the reason we come together in Alanon. The writer describes feeling different when he/she began attending meetings. It is difficult for the writer to see any similarity between him-her/self and others in the meetings. Although there was a...

Kokopelli · Kokopelli

So while going through the process of divorcing my AH we are still in the same house. Every day I get my guilt trip lectures from 15 minutes to an hour, then switches to begging and pleading, then repeat. On the days and nights he decides to argue with me that it's my fault and leave to a friend's house, I a...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hey everyone!! Missed you guys, and after Linda went to nursing home, I really began to THINK, reflect on WHY so many back spasms, bee stings, seems my body was under some "attack" the bee sting was my not paying attention but the spasms, I truly believe are stored pain, trying to get out With no Linda to...

mamalioness · mamalioness

When Betty passed away, I felt like the entire bottom of this boat got blown away...Didn't know what to do or what to think, didn't know if I even wanted to hang out here at all. But BOTH of you have done such a great job, not taking her place as that is hers, noone could do that, but you two have filled her spac...

Fedora · Fedora

Today is a strange day. I finally realized that I am not going to be more clever than Alcoholism. For all my smarts, living with an active alcoholic is requiring too many mental (and financial) gymnastics in order to survive. So I told the spouse that we are done. He actually told me that he was going to...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I still have to deal with my forner roommate because my dog is atayimg at his house. I am within a few weeks of being able to bring ny dog back to the building i live in. The rennovation of the building (which has been all year) is almost over For 20 years I have been friends with someone who deliberately tri...

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading from courage to change, the author reflects on how, in the face of seemingly impossible problems, it is easy to believe that our most negative thoughts indicate reality. Worst-case-scenarios are plead in a convincing way, and a positive outcome seems impossible. However, the l...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Posting early for tomorrow....the reading discusses the reality that all humans want to fit in and be a part of. Balance is the key and most of us who arrived at Al-Anon affected by this disease lost our balance along the way. People pleasing becomes destructive when we ignore our own needs and sacri...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page touches on a foundational concept of AlAnon: The level of felt Serenity is ours to control or give away, determined in part by how we choose to respond to people and situations around us.If we stop reacting to or acting upon everything that comes our way, instead choosing the factors that...

Friedmom · Friedmom

Hi, I'm new here and struggling with not being a co-dependent enabler for my dual diagnosis daughter. I know there are steps, but how do I find them? Where do I begin? I'd like to jump right in and learn as much as I can to try to make this horrific pain and devastation become less intense. I'd really like to...

DavidG · DavidG

Our welfare authorities are called Oranga Tamariki, or OT for short. The name means "healthy children". A goal and a vision that most everyone share. My nephew and partner had had their two kids taken off of them- and they are in foster care. I won't tell their story, as such, but share mine- and the...

Geoff · Geoff

So I was told yesterday that my AH wife has been going around and telling all the guys she works with that we are separated and not that we are on a trial separation as we agreed too. I guess I was the only one who was under the impression was a trial to figure out what she wanted. So I sent a text to her family so t...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 9/7, says that we should not look for pity. We should not expect other members to tell us our resentments are justified, nor should we take aggressive action. We hopefully will learn to change the way we see our family problems, and resist aggression by using dignity and pois...

Kokopelli · Kokopelli

Having to divorce my AH becuase I need to not because I want to has started making me think of all the traditions we have created in the past 17 years. With Fall right around the corner, Fall was our favorite season. We hosted a chili gathering, always spent Thanksgiving with just us, football watching,...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 9/14, talks about how the author decided it was best not to hope for anything. Life lessons were too painful, hopes became shattered, and despair set in. The writer says eventually they were completely shut down emotionally, and they refused to care or hope for anything. Bu...

Geoff · Geoff

Boundaries these are the guide lines we agreed too when getting together. There were some simple ones like don't commit adultery. When this happened and I chose to try to work it out we setup other boundaries. Like personal issue between the two of us is only meant for therapy or close family not a membe...

DavidG · DavidG

i bike around the valley a fair bit. The bike has about 18 gears. A long way away from the old bone shaker I rode as a kid. About 12 years ago i was biking around the lake. I looked around and realised that the trees were moving around- and even the hills were moving. The hills moved much slower than th...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: The focus of todays reading is self awareness and how it can help us navigate the experiences of our lives. The writer describes having grown up with an alcoholic father who flew into rages. Because of the fear associated with these, the writer often would attack or provoke fi...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page asks for our reflection to identify what really holds us back from turning things over to a higher power (HP) or God. It may not be an HP issue, or nature of the problems we hold on to. It likely is a growth opportunity to Let Go, Let God/HP.There is a cost to putting faith in something greater:...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is all about denial. It suggests that when we come to Al-Anon, we often don't even recognize the disease of alcoholism in our lives, let alone how far it has affected and impacted us. As denial begins to lift, we often are horrified at the lies we told ourselves and others. The readin...

Freetime · Freetime

Doing the Fourth Step inventory, the author of today's reading thought they were doing it all wrong. Then they realized, with Higher Power's help, that their life-long problem had been that they always felt inadequate -- no matter what they were doing, it wasn't good enough. Now they have a better...

Geoff · Geoff

Well after 4 days of this. She spoke with her sponsor ( a woman) and her counselor/therapist from the center (the only one I trust he is a nice guy). They both recommended that we do a trial separation for 2weeks to see if this is what she and I actually want. I have been broken up all day cause I knew that this...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading in C2C, the author shares that they sometimes don't know how to ask for help. And so, instead of asking for help in an Al-Anon meeting, the author sits quietly and listens. From the outside, maybe people think everything is fine because the author might look calm, when in...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

This is the tine of year that I.usually simply slip and slide into wallowing in self pity. I get into comparison with s few se kn ected targets. Of courss I can only imagine wgar other people have. I do not really know Thiz year with Covid 19, having to move out of ny apartment, being sick, being separate...

Geoff · Geoff

She is going to stay here and apparently we are separated but going to stay under the same roof. I told her she needs to decide what to do by the end of the week. I am not sure if I can handle being close to her as I just want to kiss and hold her. All I get to do is watch her walk away and I don't have a clue if this is th...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

It's true,all my expectations with/of AH always lead to disappointment. Why is that so hard to accept? Why is it so hard to stop expecting anything better or different? Every single time I expect something I am setting my own self up. He's not doing that to me,I am doing this to myself. I don't know wh...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the strength of alanon literature and the support by others in Alanon, especially when getting to in person meetings is not feasible. The writer describes the Lone Member Service; this is something I am not familiar with but it is described as a way for...

Geoff · Geoff

Well we talked it out this morning over coffee. It turns out I was right she isn't in love with me she was just trying to make it work for convenience and the kids she doesn't share the same feeling I do for her. We are going to try separation see what happens from there.. She cannot invest anytime into our r...

Geoff · Geoff

Well it my AW birthday today. We just finished opening gifts with the kids had a coffee and she just received a text from her guy friend mother saying call me asap please. She did and it turns out he is in the hospital. He OD on his DOC and now because his mother can't drive him and his girl friend also doesn'...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Today's reading is about the after effects of Letting Go. Once we begin focusing on ourselves and let go of the obsession & worry for others, the author found that there was a whole lot of free time that took some time to adjust to. The author states, "We knew how to live in a state of crisis, but it ofte...

Freetime · Freetime

Calmness of mind -- the writer of today's page faced a dilemma of how to fill the extra time gained by not focusing on other people's crises. Now that the mind has become quieter, how to fill it without grabbing for old fears, how to be mentally busy without creating our own crisis which lets us feel bus...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is all about seizing the day, the moment, etc. Many of us put our dreams and promises on hold waiting for that special day - that one day when .... Some of us were waiting for the disease to be cured, others were waiting on something else - no matter. Al-Anon has helped us to see that toda...

Kokopelli · Kokopelli

So my AH is saying he is going to fight for the house after twice now he said I could have it, back and forth this is going. No kids, dogs with special needs, been in the house for 25 years. I'm worried to fight for the house if he wants it to becuase the judge can say sell it and split the money, were in FL. He do...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

One of the traits I have seen with the alcoholic qualifier is the need to make me feel insecure and jealous After the qualifier wooed me and appeared to be a devoted boyfriend he switched lkterally overnught to quite deliberately trying to make me feel insecure and absolutely comoulsively discount...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading the author reflects on step 1: We are powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable. Over the years, the author did a lot of thinking about step 1, and recently, began to do a lot of feeling about the step as well. The primary emotion the author shared was g...

DavidG · DavidG

Disease, illness, sickness, malaise. It is cunning and baffling. I have heard the word "dysfunctional" bandied about. I think that that is far too soft a word. Damaging, dangerous, even life threatening, describes it better. I have been involved with my nephew G. His two kids have been taken int...

Fedora · Fedora

I just told AH that I'm getting the kids signed up for counseling. He is Furious. I am standing my ground. I know enough about this disease now to know that my kids are going to need to have tools in place. They're too young for Al-A-Teen. (At least the littler one is). I want them to have someone they can t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm going to any ways. Basically long story short this has been a year of revelation of how much I get to control myself and not others. My latest run in with my X involved my youngest and an iPad for singing lessons. S/he (cause I'm pretty sure his wife was involved) was very entertaining. They overp...

2HP · 2HP

From the beginning, I was told that "the instructions" for recovery were in the Twelve steps. Sometimes (and especially when nothing feels like its working anymore) I like to re-read the instructions. Many of us are facing challenges this year, and I thought a discussion on the instructions coul...

Geoff · Geoff

I just wanted to say good morning to you all. My wife an I have our couples session today and the previous ones usually end up with us worse off than when we start. We usually right after just talk about it without our therapist and always work it out on our own. I feel like today will be different it will only...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	9/29/20 ODAT – Listen and Learn (Preview) Can we Listen and Learn from all shares in AlAnon? Today's writer first thought not, as not all in AlAnon follow suggestions such as not giving advice to others, or they may choose to constantly blame the alcoholic for how they feel.The page suggests, however, that this is the perfect time to analyze o...	Enigmatic	2	399	Sep 30, 2020 by Iamhere
	Saying goodbye (Preview) I said goodbye to my mom tonight. Said what I had to say. She heard me. She is non responsive. Can't say much more but my family is coming up even though it is not a good idea. I need support as I go through this journey.	Hoot Nanny	4	324	Sep 30, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	My mom...she's headed down that path (Preview) For all you who don't my story: I have been going down the path of letting go of my mom for several years now. She has been fighting mental illness for a long time as well. Now the time has come to really starting to say my final goodbyes. She is failing & is about 200 miles away from me in assisted living....	Hoot Nanny	5	351	Sep 29, 2020 by Jen
	COURAGE TO CHANGE Sept 26 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading from C2C is about feelings. The book talks about when the author first came to Al-Anon... the feelings they had, anger, resentment, fear, jealousy were all wrapped up in one adjective, "bad." Al-Anon helped the author to see and to understand that feelings are neither goo...	PosiesandPuppies	13	1159	Sep 29, 2020 by Enigmatic
	ODAT in alanon, 9/28 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 9/28, reflects upon why we go to alanon: to learn about alcoholism and its devastating results, that there is no cure, but sobriety is possible through AA, WHEN THE ALCOHOLIC IS READY. We also learn that we too, went downhill, and an honest appraisal of ourselves leads to imp...	Lyne	5	335	Sep 28, 2020 by Maresie888
	Yippee... (Preview) I have a letter on my table... three foolscap pages of neatly written words... I have always loved letter- from when i was a kid- both sending and receiving... My nephew's partner responded to a card I sent to her treatment centre. Have been there myself, [as a family member] i saw the need for outsi...	DavidG	5	351	Sep 28, 2020 by Lyne
	Courage to Change 9/24 (Preview) Happy Thursday MIP family. Today's reading discusses how working the program helps us place our problems in true perspective. The quote of the day is from the Al-Anon suggested welcome - ". . . As we learn to place our problem in its true perspective, we find it loses its power to dominate our thought...	Iamhere	3	470	Sep 27, 2020 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change - September 25 (Preview) Step Three -- the author of today's page takes it over and over again, but usually waits until a problem is overwhelming before turning it over to the care of a Higher Power. The author is working on placing their entire will and life into their Higher Power's hands willingly, no matter what, writing "....	Freetime	6	1084	Sep 27, 2020 by mamalioness
	AA Alanon/Recovery Pamphlet P-15 (Preview) I haven't seen or read this pamphlet for a long time. My wife had it in her literature for a while and handed it to me this evening as I was reading Al-Anon literature. The title is THREE VIEWS OF AL-ANON...Alcoholics Speak to the Family. It was composed for Al-Anon by AA and is very telling. I believ...	JerryF	4	2005	Sep 26, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	What happened? (Preview) I haven't been on here in a very long time I think. I am curious why I am unable to get on the mobile app? I just wonder. Things are better in my life after a lot of setbacks. I really need to get back on track. I have been trying to live w faith over fear. It has been easier w time. I feel some sense of relief. I have...	Hoot Nanny	2	700	Sep 25, 2020 by Iamhere
	Doing it the hard way compulsively (Preview) One of the charecteristics of being in a relationship with an alcoholic is having a hard time. No matter what the alcoholic seems to.make life harder, much much harder. I already have a full olate. In a oandemic year that can put someone over the edge. This is a tine for me to be even mire cautious. In my...	Maresie888	0	911	Sep 24, 2020 by Maresie888
	Step 11... (Preview) Hi y'all... Spring is here- but the mornings are still cool. So I did my Step 11 in bed- stretched out like a cat. A good healthy cough often kicks starts my day. I have done a lot of breathing work over the last 5 years. Much more idea now of how a healthy body works. I do my meditation when I wake up- and do...	DavidG	3	2696	Sep 24, 2020 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change Sept. 23 (Preview) Hello MIP! Another perfectly timed C2C reading for me today! In today's reading, the author reflects on one of their character flaws - responding in kind to behavior directed at the author. Reacting to insults with insults, or rudeness with rudeness. One day, the author noticed that an Al-Anon fri...	Skorpi	4	1117	Sep 24, 2020 by Maresie888
	Happy Birthday Jerry and C2C for 9/19 (Preview) I am blessed and humbled to celebrate my birthday with my brother from another mother, Jerry! Happy, happy birthday brother - please know I am extremely grateful to have you be a part of my journey! May this day be lovely for you and me and all of MIP. I am posting the daily for 9/19, Saturday, for PnP. Sh...	Iamhere	23	1674	Sep 24, 2020 by Maresie888
	Pity Party (Preview) To be honest, I got stuck in a bad place for a few weeks. I have had multiple stressors, none life-threatening, but I couldnt overcome my defeatist mind set. This hasnt happened to me in several years. Usually my tools kick right in and Im back on track. I have focused hard especially on acceptance o...	Lyne	3	1343	Sep 23, 2020 by Iamhere
	9/22/20 ODAT - Giant, Terrifying Dust Mites (Preview) What we choose to focus on determines what looms largest in our mind. Today's reading reminds us that we have a choice: negatives and small annoyances that will grow into resentments, or positives that can also grow, that broaden our sense of well being and effectively reduce the influence and appea...	Enigmatic	4	312	Sep 23, 2020 by DavidG
	My Brothers death from liver cirrhosis (Preview) My Brothers death from liver cirrhosis Hi everyone. Id like to share my story which is still very raw but this feels like the right place and the right time. My brother was an alcoholic for some years. It only became apparent to what extent around 2.5 years ago though. This was when him and his wife se...	Ems298	6	3592	Sep 21, 2020 by Maresie888
	A Saturday share... clutter and an uncluttered mind... (Preview) Kia ora koutou... Howdy y'all... ... Generally I would get up on Saturday morning and share something. It is much later in the day now. Being a member of this group is like having four or more meetings a week. The scope is immense. And our members are drawn from every point in the globe- a great contras...	DavidG	11	1497	Sep 21, 2020 by DavidG
	C2C, 9/21 (Preview) For Monday, 9/21, the writer talks about dreading change and being comfortable with chaos. Since change is inevitable, the author decided not to assume that change is bad. Actually, they see that changes have had a positive effect, such as coming to alanon. The writer still has many fears, but tr...	Lyne	4	345	Sep 21, 2020 by Maresie888
	Hope For Today - September 18 (Preview) The author of today's reading in Hope for Today came into Al-Anon not interested in a Higher Power and skeptical of all the God references in the Twelve Steps. They didn't think they wanted or needed a higher power. Others in the program shared their own experiences without telling the author what to...	Freetime	4	463	Sep 20, 2020 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today Sept 20 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a description of the reason we come together in Alanon. The writer describes feeling different when he/she began attending meetings. It is difficult for the writer to see any similarity between him-her/self and others in the meetings. Although there was a...	yanksfan51	4	310	Sep 20, 2020 by JerryF
	What is this lonliness feeling? (Preview) So while going through the process of divorcing my AH we are still in the same house. Every day I get my guilt trip lectures from 15 minutes to an hour, then switches to begging and pleading, then repeat. On the days and nights he decides to argue with me that it's my fault and leave to a friend's house, I a...	Kokopelli	5	713	Sep 20, 2020 by newnoz
	Hey Everybody!!! (Preview) Hey everyone!! Missed you guys, and after Linda went to nursing home, I really began to THINK, reflect on WHY so many back spasms, bee stings, seems my body was under some "attack" the bee sting was my not paying attention but the spasms, I truly believe are stored pain, trying to get out With no Linda to...	mamalioness	13	2825	Sep 18, 2020 by mamalioness
	Gratitude to Iamhere and Freetime (Preview) When Betty passed away, I felt like the entire bottom of this boat got blown away...Didn't know what to do or what to think, didn't know if I even wanted to hang out here at all. But BOTH of you have done such a great job, not taking her place as that is hers, noone could do that, but you two have filled her spac...	mamalioness	5	2902	Sep 18, 2020 by mamalioness
	I am powerless over this disease. I am done trying to pretend I can manage it. Decided I need to file for divorce. (Preview) Today is a strange day. I finally realized that I am not going to be more clever than Alcoholism. For all my smarts, living with an active alcoholic is requiring too many mental (and financial) gymnastics in order to survive. So I told the spouse that we are done. He actually told me that he was going to...	Fedora	9	3192	Sep 18, 2020 by Maresie888
	Not responding as a technique (Preview) I still have to deal with my forner roommate because my dog is atayimg at his house. I am within a few weeks of being able to bring ny dog back to the building i live in. The rennovation of the building (which has been all year) is almost over For 20 years I have been friends with someone who deliberately tri...	Maresie888	6	2643	Sep 17, 2020 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change September 16 (Preview) In today's reading from courage to change, the author reflects on how, in the face of seemingly impossible problems, it is easy to believe that our most negative thoughts indicate reality. Worst-case-scenarios are plead in a convincing way, and a positive outcome seems impossible. However, the l...	Skorpi	3	2637	Sep 17, 2020 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 9/16 (Preview) Posting early for tomorrow....the reading discusses the reality that all humans want to fit in and be a part of. Balance is the key and most of us who arrived at Al-Anon affected by this disease lost our balance along the way. People pleasing becomes destructive when we ignore our own needs and sacri...	Iamhere	5	449	Sep 17, 2020 by Maresie888
	9/15/20 ODAT - Let it Go... (Preview) Today's page touches on a foundational concept of AlAnon: The level of felt Serenity is ours to control or give away, determined in part by how we choose to respond to people and situations around us.If we stop reacting to or acting upon everything that comes our way, instead choosing the factors that...	Enigmatic	5	312	Sep 15, 2020 by mamalioness
	I'm new here... where do I begin? newbie new help guidance steps (Preview) Hi, I'm new here and struggling with not being a co-dependent enabler for my dual diagnosis daughter. I know there are steps, but how do I find them? Where do I begin? I'd like to jump right in and learn as much as I can to try to make this horrific pain and devastation become less intense. I'd really like to...	Friedmom	9	4172	Sep 15, 2020 by Maresie888
	My best shot... (Preview) Our welfare authorities are called Oranga Tamariki, or OT for short. The name means "healthy children". A goal and a vision that most everyone share. My nephew and partner had had their two kids taken off of them- and they are in foster care. I won't tell their story, as such, but share mine- and the...	DavidG	3	1396	Sep 15, 2020 by Maresie888
	hard decision (Preview) So I was told yesterday that my AH wife has been going around and telling all the guys she works with that we are separated and not that we are on a trial separation as we agreed too. I guess I was the only one who was under the impression was a trial to figure out what she wanted. So I sent a text to her family so t...	Geoff	9	1320	Sep 15, 2020 by Maresie888
	ODAT in alanon, 9/7 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 9/7, says that we should not look for pity. We should not expect other members to tell us our resentments are justified, nor should we take aggressive action. We hopefully will learn to change the way we see our family problems, and resist aggression by using dignity and pois...	Lyne	5	1276	Sep 14, 2020 by mamalioness
	Traditions (Preview) Having to divorce my AH becuase I need to not because I want to has started making me think of all the traditions we have created in the past 17 years. With Fall right around the corner, Fall was our favorite season. We hosted a chili gathering, always spent Thanksgiving with just us, football watching,...	Kokopelli	7	376	Sep 14, 2020 by Bettertomorrow
	C2C, 9/14 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 9/14, talks about how the author decided it was best not to hope for anything. Life lessons were too painful, hopes became shattered, and despair set in. The writer says eventually they were completely shut down emotionally, and they refused to care or hope for anything. Bu...	Lyne	2	231	Sep 13, 2020 by Iamhere
	Boundaries (Preview) Boundaries these are the guide lines we agreed too when getting together. There were some simple ones like don't commit adultery. When this happened and I chose to try to work it out we setup other boundaries. Like personal issue between the two of us is only meant for therapy or close family not a membe...	Geoff	8	1929	Sep 13, 2020 by Maresie888
	Steps one and twelve. (Preview) i bike around the valley a fair bit. The bike has about 18 gears. A long way away from the old bone shaker I rode as a kid. About 12 years ago i was biking around the lake. I looked around and realised that the trees were moving around- and even the hills were moving. The hills moved much slower than th...	DavidG	6	1395	Sep 13, 2020 by serenity47
	Hope for Today Sept 13 (Preview) Good morning everyone: The focus of todays reading is self awareness and how it can help us navigate the experiences of our lives. The writer describes having grown up with an alcoholic father who flew into rages. Because of the fear associated with these, the writer often would attack or provoke fi...	yanksfan51	0	230	Sep 13, 2020 by yanksfan51
	9/8/20 – C2C Struggle w/HP? Might be Control... (Preview) Today's page asks for our reflection to identify what really holds us back from turning things over to a higher power (HP) or God. It may not be an HP issue, or nature of the problems we hold on to. It likely is a growth opportunity to Let Go, Let God/HP.There is a cost to putting faith in something greater:...	Enigmatic	7	4666	Sep 13, 2020 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 9/10 (Preview) Today's reading is all about denial. It suggests that when we come to Al-Anon, we often don't even recognize the disease of alcoholism in our lives, let alone how far it has affected and impacted us. As denial begins to lift, we often are horrified at the lies we told ourselves and others. The readin...	Iamhere	3	308	Sep 12, 2020 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change - 9/11 (Preview) Doing the Fourth Step inventory, the author of today's reading thought they were doing it all wrong. Then they realized, with Higher Power's help, that their life-long problem had been that they always felt inadequate -- no matter what they were doing, it wasn't good enough. Now they have a better...	Freetime	5	667	Sep 12, 2020 by mamalioness
	If they love you. They will run back not walk. That's what you deserve. (Preview) Well after 4 days of this. She spoke with her sponsor ( a woman) and her counselor/therapist from the center (the only one I trust he is a nice guy). They both recommended that we do a trial separation for 2weeks to see if this is what she and I actually want. I have been broken up all day cause I knew that this...	Geoff	10	2651	Sep 12, 2020 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change September 9 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading in C2C, the author shares that they sometimes don't know how to ask for help. And so, instead of asking for help in an Al-Anon meeting, the author sits quietly and listens. From the outside, maybe people think everything is fine because the author might look calm, when in...	Skorpi	7	2768	Sep 12, 2020 by mamalioness
	Responsibiity /the holidays (Preview) This is the tine of year that I.usually simply slip and slide into wallowing in self pity. I get into comparison with s few se kn ected targets. Of courss I can only imagine wgar other people have. I do not really know Thiz year with Covid 19, having to move out of ny apartment, being sick, being separate...	Maresie888	0	967	Sep 11, 2020 by Maresie888
	what now (Preview) She is going to stay here and apparently we are separated but going to stay under the same roof. I told her she needs to decide what to do by the end of the week. I am not sure if I can handle being close to her as I just want to kiss and hold her. All I get to do is watch her walk away and I don't have a clue if this is th...	Geoff	7	1015	Sep 8, 2020 by Maresie888
	Expectations Are ALWAYS A Disappointment (Preview) It's true,all my expectations with/of AH always lead to disappointment. Why is that so hard to accept? Why is it so hard to stop expecting anything better or different? Every single time I expect something I am setting my own self up. He's not doing that to me,I am doing this to myself. I don't know wh...	SunnyFrogs	11	1151	Sep 6, 2020 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Sept 6 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the strength of alanon literature and the support by others in Alanon, especially when getting to in person meetings is not feasible. The writer describes the Lone Member Service; this is something I am not familiar with but it is described as a way for...	yanksfan51	2	878	Sep 6, 2020 by Iamhere
	Changes (Preview) Well we talked it out this morning over coffee. It turns out I was right she isn't in love with me she was just trying to make it work for convenience and the kids she doesn't share the same feeling I do for her. We are going to try separation see what happens from there.. She cannot invest anytime into our r...	Geoff	5	1075	Sep 6, 2020 by Iamhere
	So frustrated (Preview) Well it my AW birthday today. We just finished opening gifts with the kids had a coffee and she just received a text from her guy friend mother saying call me asap please. She did and it turns out he is in the hospital. He OD on his DOC and now because his mother can't drive him and his girl friend also doesn'...	Geoff	8	1059	Sep 6, 2020 by Iamhere
	Courage to change Saturday, 9/5 (Preview) Today's reading is about the after effects of Letting Go. Once we begin focusing on ourselves and let go of the obsession & worry for others, the author found that there was a whole lot of free time that took some time to adjust to. The author states, "We knew how to live in a state of crisis, but it ofte...	PosiesandPuppies	5	1099	Sep 6, 2020 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change - September 4 (Preview) Calmness of mind -- the writer of today's page faced a dilemma of how to fill the extra time gained by not focusing on other people's crises. Now that the mind has become quieter, how to fill it without grabbing for old fears, how to be mentally busy without creating our own crisis which lets us feel bus...	Freetime	7	294	Sep 6, 2020 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 9/3 (Preview) Today's reading is all about seizing the day, the moment, etc. Many of us put our dreams and promises on hold waiting for that special day - that one day when .... Some of us were waiting for the disease to be cured, others were waiting on something else - no matter. Al-Anon has helped us to see that toda...	Iamhere	3	286	Sep 5, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	Calling their bluff (Preview) So my AH is saying he is going to fight for the house after twice now he said I could have it, back and forth this is going. No kids, dogs with special needs, been in the house for 25 years. I'm worried to fight for the house if he wants it to becuase the judge can say sell it and split the money, were in FL. He do...	Kokopelli	8	386	Sep 4, 2020 by Maresie888
	Jealousy (Preview) One of the traits I have seen with the alcoholic qualifier is the need to make me feel insecure and jealous After the qualifier wooed me and appeared to be a devoted boyfriend he switched lkterally overnught to quite deliberately trying to make me feel insecure and absolutely comoulsively discount...	Maresie888	0	275	Sep 4, 2020 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change September 2 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading the author reflects on step 1: We are powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable. Over the years, the author did a lot of thinking about step 1, and recently, began to do a lot of feeling about the step as well. The primary emotion the author shared was g...	Skorpi	5	253	Sep 4, 2020 by Maresie888
	Dealing to the disease. (Preview) Disease, illness, sickness, malaise. It is cunning and baffling. I have heard the word "dysfunctional" bandied about. I think that that is far too soft a word. Damaging, dangerous, even life threatening, describes it better. I have been involved with my nephew G. His two kids have been taken int...	DavidG	3	291	Sep 3, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	AH angry that children are getting counseling (Preview) I just told AH that I'm getting the kids signed up for counseling. He is Furious. I am standing my ground. I know enough about this disease now to know that my kids are going to need to have tools in place. They're too young for Al-A-Teen. (At least the littler one is). I want them to have someone they can t...	Fedora	7	354	Sep 3, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	I hesitate to share .. (Preview) I'm going to any ways. Basically long story short this has been a year of revelation of how much I get to control myself and not others. My latest run in with my X involved my youngest and an iPad for singing lessons. S/he (cause I'm pretty sure his wife was involved) was very entertaining. They overp...	SerenityRUS	4	500	Sep 2, 2020 by PosiesandPuppies
	Step One (Preview) From the beginning, I was told that "the instructions" for recovery were in the Twelve steps. Sometimes (and especially when nothing feels like its working anymore) I like to re-read the instructions. Many of us are facing challenges this year, and I thought a discussion on the instructions coul...	2HP	10	426	Sep 2, 2020 by 2HP
	Good Morning to you all (Preview) I just wanted to say good morning to you all. My wife an I have our couples session today and the previous ones usually end up with us worse off than when we start. We usually right after just talk about it without our therapist and always work it out on our own. I feel like today will be different it will only...	Geoff	4	248	Sep 1, 2020 by DavidG
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.