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Monday morning blues
(Preview)
Happy Monday to all.. well kind of, trying to stay positive but a tough weekend punctuated by moments of happiness (mainly when out riding and not with the AW) but now feeling drained and down, but will read though the forum and look for inspiration. Sean
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Sean_82
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6
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401
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Triggers and reacting
(Preview)
So, this morning I went to say goodbye to my AH when I left for work (he goes in later than I do), and he seemed really confused and out of it. I tried not to, but my brain immediately went on 'Has he been drinking?' alert. Went to work, sent him a text an hour or so later about an appointment with someone to ta...
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SpiderArcana
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3
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855
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Meaning of encouragement and understanding the a and how do I accomplish this
(Preview)
It says in our preamble to be able to understand and give them encouragement to the a,my a don't ever get drunk he drinks everyday but just a couple helps his paiin.someone plz help me to understand the .....to be able to understand the a and give them encouragement. Thank you -- Edited by lookingup on Sa...
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lookingup
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7
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624
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Cheater
(Preview)
Is it true once a cheater always a cheater?should I trust him????this one scares me to death.
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lookingup
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16
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738
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Thank you
(Preview)
I just wanted to say thank you for the wonderful people on this website. I had an awful weekend and just knowing that someone was out there listening and offering encouraement made me feel much better.
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slowlearner
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3
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257
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Katy update!
(Preview)
I am still away from home and feeling so many emotions, I had first communication from my husband after two and half weeks, it actually upset me more speaking with him again, but gradually I have come to terms with that and am accepting it is all a process, I have no goal as yet sept to heal myself from the t...
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Katy
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6
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562
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My feelings don't make sense
(Preview)
So, my Addict husband has been out of rehab for a month and a half, but since has decided to stop working on our marriage and wanted to split up (which we have) and has continued a phone relationship with someone who he met at rehab.....which tore me to absolute pieces, since it was happening in my own home...
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sunrise2014
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9
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517
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So stressed I slept all day...
(Preview)
It was supposed to be a fun family gathering, a meal to get together and catch up on things. It started out fine until everyone drank too much and got into a heated discussion. i usally don't go to social events with my AH but decided to go because my daughter and son-in-law were going to be there. This d...
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slowlearner
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11
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492
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Understanding it
(Preview)
I've been wondering also as on another post that I read is why do I stay and the answer came to me in an instant of course my a came back into my life 2and a half yrs ago today I've forgotten what it was like being without him,I'm gotten closer to him these 2and a half yrs is all it takes for me to get closer to them...
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lookingup
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2
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277
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New use for vodka
(Preview)
I had no intention of saying anything. I've been to a f to f meeting, read the alanon books each day, praying to HP. Today when my partner says, you don't believe her (A stepdaughter), I said no. She's an A. My partner just stopped talking. I said only As buy vodka to clean a couch. This is a dry state an...
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kidznrs
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6
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489
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People not affected by an A
(Preview)
I was on an online social media page where people were saying that they were going to Al-Anon meetings even though they weren't affected by someone's alcoholism. One specific person said they were going because it helped them with their spouses PTSD. This sounds wrong to me. I don't think anyone not a...
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deramam
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3
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335
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Sunday Morning Musing
(Preview)
Last night was a special event in our town, music and food. I didnt go, just didnt want to for no reason and beside the point. Why I lead off with it here has to do with the price of the food. $10 for a hamburger plate??? Five bucks for a hotdog, but the music is free. And, you can buy beer, wine, soft drinks, etc...
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likemyheart
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1
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341
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Walked out of a meeting last night
(Preview)
I don't know what got into me. I had greeted a woman from the meeting who tends to have a bit of sarcastic humor and can be a bit biting with her comments, and usually I can handle her but I was really put off by it last night. Then, I realized we had a speaker coming in, and I usually love speaker meetings, bu...
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andromeda
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11
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630
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Lost in alcoholic haze.
(Preview)
Here I sit tonight my AH left at 10:30 to go " get drunk". Our adult son confronted him tonight in front of me. He wanted to know if his Dad is still seeing the other woman. My AH got very angry after this. We went to dinner and he could hardly eat. I tried to talk to him but he keeps saying he doesn't...
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Hullibee
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6
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599
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So many questions..not enough answers!
(Preview)
So why is it so hard? Everything!! I don't want to find a job here because somewhere in my heart I've not really left even though physically I'm gone. Why hasn't he called me begging me to come back and promising that he'll change? Why am I still waiting? I'm stuck in limbo and don't really want to mov...
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watts
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3
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436
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loving myself
(Preview)
Since I came out of denial and became aware of myself, I have grown to love myself. I am more willing to look after myself in many ways. Some ways must seem ridiculous to healthy people unaffected by alcoholism. Is there a name for these people, muggles or norms or something? I wear nail varnish now, loud...
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el-cee
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13
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584
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Why would I want someone like this back?
(Preview)
I maybe the sick one in this. After years of living in insanity with AH and verbal abuses, I finally moved out. Then came the revelation of him staying at a shady part of town for a night. I am still worried about him and feels that I can forgive all thesewhen he is in recovery. Why would I even think that?? F...
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sunshine23
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6
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529
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Every time I stop going to meetings I hit bottom again. This time the bottom was not so low.
(Preview)
Hi everyone - I had a recent change at work and I have not been taking care of myself, not going to meetings. I had some stressful things happen and boy did I hit bottom again. Well, this time the bottom was not so low. I am able to regroup, went to a meeting last night and chaired a meeting this morning. I have...
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mercedes1959
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4
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313
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Ah moving back home
(Preview)
my dry ah plans on moving back home on monday. I had told him he could till the financials are all figured out( i plan on moving to an apt in town when i am ready) Then i asked about his girlfriend i thought it was at the wanna be stage still, i guess i was wrong. I said if you live here you are still a married man n...
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Mirandac
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6
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447
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Today (This Week)
(Preview)
What a week. Some just regular "busy" and unexpected things that had to be dealth with immediately. A few days ago the AH opened up his own bank acct, so the next day I went and took out half of what was left just in case there is nothing else. Of course he was furious. But that didn't come out for a...
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blessed
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16
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505
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Want to help others QTIP gets in the way
(Preview)
I had a good productive week things are still not happing as fast as I want but maybe this is the way it has to be for me . Since I can only handle one thing at a time . It took me to get to my extream lowest to start closing up to isolate to attemp self harm because I though it would be the best thing for all if I was go...
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Wisdom67
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4
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450
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Feeling lost and alone
(Preview)
Hello, I am new to all of this. I am looking for someone to talk to and share my experience with. I have just lost my beloved little sister to alcohol related cirrhosis and it's complications. I have watched her suffer for many years and have felt helpless. I have tried to be there for her and always tried t...
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lilsis64
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8
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677
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I want to cry
(Preview)
But I also want to do what's best for me weather my bf is still seeing that woman or not I keep a feeling that he is I maybe wrong but I got some stuff on her that she cheats on her husband so my bf just left and said he was going to a buddy of his I dunno if he is telling the truth ,I'm got dressed put my makeup on and am...
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lookingup
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2
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294
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Who's best qualified?
(Preview)
I am on my second A marriage, so I have seen my share of "counselors". Unfortunately, nothing really worked because we were both together in the sessions, or we would have individual and joint alternating; and it was always handled as a marriage problem. Obviously, we have a probem in our m...
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blessed
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8
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475
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AH keeps asking our child if she wants us to stay together or not
(Preview)
Will try to make this short, i need to go to work. Anyway my AH tells me our daughter keeps telling him she wants us to stay together. Of course a child will say that! she is almost 9 Yrs old...still very young to understand the dynamics of alcoholism. He tells me he wants her to be able to talk about anything...
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Newlife girl
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5
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461
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Happy.
(Preview)
I haven't driven anywhere yet. Took my car to the mechanic and he said he can look at it tomorrow but most likely will need to get a part; it could be expensive, it could be I have to wait a week for him to get it in, oh well. All that is wrong is the speedo doesn't work but, since the main thing I kept doing wrong i...
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missmeliss
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36
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619
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Babysteps
(Preview)
Each and everyday all I can take is baby steps for I'm still in the woods with my a bf,I'm going loafing today visit my friend ,and try try try to keep the focus on me and off him,his life is chaotic ,always something going wrong,as for me and my life I value my serenity and peace of mind,I've got to do this I kn...
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lookingup
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4
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284
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AH putting all blame on me
(Preview)
Hi, does anybody have a good way of dealing with a blaming game? My AH called me a b**** infront of his friend yesterday ( first time ever he called me something bad infront if another person) and it was truly over a very stupid argument. He then set with his friend drinking beer and when I confronted him to...
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Venera
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21
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662
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Slogans
(Preview)
Can someone plz give me a list of the slogans for me to memorize?
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lookingup
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5
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536
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Honeymoon
(Preview)
17 day honeymoon starts today after I get home from work. Will be flying to London tonight. Staying there 2 days, then embarking on a 2 week Baltic Cruise. Ports will include several in Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Estonia, Russia (that stop is making me a little antsy at the moment), and Holland. I wi...
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pinkchip
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25
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573
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Serenity
(Preview)
I'm still sitting here alone not knowing where my a is at he won't answer his ph.half the time lots of excuses,but that's ok cause I still have me and my peace of mind knowing that my hp is watching over me and my roof over head and food and everything g else here all belongs to me that I'm grateful for,and I lo...
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lookingup
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3
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204
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I got the job! Since I found al-anon and worked my program life just keeps getting better!!!
(Preview)
I got hired today and am on such a high from how things just keep improving for me. I am so excited about my life right now. I am reaping the benefits of really listening to my sponsor and following my al-anon program, and yes it was work and hard making the changes, but I am here to say it works when you work it...
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Breakingfree
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18
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526
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Horrible night
(Preview)
Last night my partner drank again and it was bad. She smashed my stuff, stole my car and screamed and yelled at me, calling me every name in the book. I almost had a mental break down. I scared myself last night. I couldnt breath and all I kept thinking was I wanted the pain to go away. She makes me go cra...
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CarlyM123
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18
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696
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My day
(Preview)
Stayed at my friends all day enjoyed my visit with her,came home at 4:30 pm,my a was sitting in my driveway trying to figure out how to hustle up some money cause he is broke as broke can be ,I have money that I won't hardly touch and i don't let him k now I have any cause if I did I would t have it ,so I'm home alon...
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lookingup
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3
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195
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First F2F meeting
(Preview)
Thanks to the forum and our family circumstances, I finally made it to my first meeting!! Feels great! I have been looking for excuses to not go there, rather than opportunities. But by a miracle today I found that there is a lunch mtg close to my office, and I just went. I was imagining it more like a group...
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Venera
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2
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206
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During your prayer times...
(Preview)
I ask that you send some to the Big Island of Hawaii especially for a sober alcoholic/addict who is attempting to abide with his mother who is currently active alcoholic. He is a sponsee and doing a good job on his own program remaining clean and sober while attempting to be helpful and not enabling....
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Jerry F
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11
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389
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In a slippery place!
(Preview)
Who am I kidding? I have not slipped...I have jumped head first into insanity! I walked away from alanon for a time...you know...I got busy...things got better! HUGE mistake! My middle son wont talk to me. He ended up at hospital multiple times for 'anxiety' so he could get a shot. He has been doin...
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Katytexasmom
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5
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464
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Why I carry so much anger?
(Preview)
I really don't understand. And I am not even talking about my husband today. General anger at people. I don't show it but burns inside. I think generally people are all trying to lie to me, manipulate me, use me, laugh behind my back and talk about my shortcomes when I am not listening. Of course that I kno...
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Luiza
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8
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566
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Husband's txt message..
(Preview)
After our last argument when my husband was playing "Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde", I tried to take him to an AA meeting but the meeting was canceled. After this we haven't spoken about the situation and things were quiet. He obviously never attempted to go to other meeting by himself. Tonight he wa...
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Luiza
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17
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421
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Trying to take care of me
(Preview)
Im actually realizing that alanon is actually here for.me weather my a is drinking or not drinking,I'm haveing a hard time with it I've always clung onto relationships all toxic in my life,I could always take care of me in a relationship but never out of an relationship Im wanting and needing so despe...
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lookingup
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14
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577
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I'm stupid, stupid, stupid
(Preview)
My AH says I'm pushing too hard. I have spent every waking moment and sleeping moment with him since I found out about his affair. He tells me every night he loves me. He holds me in bed and we rekindle our marriage vows but today he says I'm pushing. What does that mean???? I'm clinging to some fantasy...
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Hullibee
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12
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779
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A little vignette of my crazy life
(Preview)
from my fb. Now listen if anyone need to drink, this woman does....lol lolWent to thrift store, had on a sweatshirt jeans, it was raining remember.. dumby. Was so hot i was dying so found a neat denim dress and some good quality sandals, puttem on. Ok I got the feed, then groceries at the bent can store, go...
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Debilyn
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2
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483
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Update to Resisting and Confusion
(Preview)
So as of Sunday night since my AH said the guys in the 1/2 way house suggested that if I visit I should interact with them as well, which spun me out for a day, he decided to be passive/aggressive and not call me last night, because as we all know the world stopped because he didn't call me that was actually qu...
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Flower49
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15
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490
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Broken Heart, Broken Soul
(Preview)
Last night and today I have sat and cried and cried. I feel completely foolish, strung along and just crushed. I keep asking my HP to comfort me, show me the way, but I still feel so down.
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Flower49
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11
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608
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Feeling insame and confused
(Preview)
I met a man three months ago, 53 years old and I quickly discovered he is an active alcoholic. He works out of town for two weeks at a time and returns home for a week at a time. We speak everyday on the phone when he is out of town working. During the week he is home, he drinks non stop, as soon as he wakes up till...
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joker
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11
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480
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Wanting courage to ride a REAL roller coaster tomorrow!!
(Preview)
My girls, my sister and her family and my mom and I are all going to a theme park tomorrow. I have had a really bad last 4-5 days on an emotional roller coaster. I used to love roller coasters as a teenager. I had no fear. As I get older I have become really afraid and anxious regarding roller coasters, so I usu...
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Newlife girl
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13
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399
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Finally more information ..
(Preview)
Soooo .. LOL .. I have ANOTHER atty .. this is #4 in 2 1/2 years. HOPEFULLY I will be divorced by the time the kids go back to school .. so please please please keep praying for me in that regard. I will meet with her Monday .. one of the questions I asked the secretary was .. ok .. so is she pregnant, planni...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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289
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Update on scuffle ..
(Preview)
Sooo .. my little guy had a wonderful time at camp .. I was glad that he got away .. however the scuffle here had weighed on his mind more than I realized because during his down time I guess he spent some time drawing pictures of "the bullies" as he named it. I did not see the picture. I felt sad f...
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SerenityRUS
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12
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404
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I love all the new pictures of my MIP family members! Update on me
(Preview)
Life has been crazy busy, but good! The boyfriend and I have made it to 4 months and are still going strong, healthiest relationship I've ever had and I love that he doesn't drink like me. My kids and I went to Texas to visit my childhood best friend in Fort Worth from June 24th-July 8th, got home and went to...
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Breakingfree
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9
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491
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Only the Willing Survive!
(Preview)
Hello Family :) So Sorry its Been so Long :/ New Computer, and Crazy Summer, but Starting to get Back on Track Now :) So Yesterday I took My Harley out for Some Inner Reflecting, and it was a Beautiful Day for it, I Couldn't have been Blessed with a better one, Funny how after working my Program, I Can N...
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Jozie
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7
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519
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Getting a divorce
(Preview)
My dry ah told me tonight who he is going to aa spiritual weekend retreat with, a friend(staying in room with male)and also a girl he is friends with In AA. He had put dates on the calendar but no details. He was hoping to golf and attend seminars but unsure if he going.as you can imagine the conversation w...
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Mirandac
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25
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967
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Just went to my first meeting
(Preview)
I went to my first meeting this past Monday. I was scared and wondered if this was for me. As soon as people started speaking about their lives and how alcoholism affected them I knew I was in the right place. I could relate to everyone's story and I already know walking into that room was the best decis...
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littlelionman
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11
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419
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New Here
(Preview)
Hi all. I'm new to this group, though not to Al-Anon. I grew up attending meetings after my father found AA, and I, reluctantly, came back a few years ago after my father lost his battle and when I had to face that I married back into it. My AH and I moved our family long-distance just over a year ago, and now w...
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always hopeful
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5
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464
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On shaky ground ...
(Preview)
I have been hesitating writing for two days. Not sure I want to hear a response I already know myself.... My AH has been drinking quite heavily again. I have been trying to get him to talk to me about our problems. He admitted that he is having an affair. I don't know how he's doing it he's been home ever...
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Hullibee
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13
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464
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Do I keep my mouth shut or not?
(Preview)
I have a very close friend who knows me and my situation well. She is great at giving me her opinion and advice when I need it. but she can't take her own advice! She gives me a lot of praise for what I have done To try and change my life. She has gone to al anon and coda with me a few times but she finds it to be depre...
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Newlife girl
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22
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632
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Atheists: How did you handle steps 3, 7 and 11?
(Preview)
I am interested in coming back to the program (two years mostly-away have not been a good idea), but I have some concerns about whether "you are free to choose your own Higher Power" applies all the way through, or if the program is built with the assumption that whatever "starter high...
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atheos
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10
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662
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What if.....
(Preview)
Yep, I live in a world where I say what if....ALL THE TIME. Oh, and then I continue on like this, "What if this happens? Then what?" And I go and do mental gymnastics and try to answer those questions with a million different solutions, variables, etc. Anybody else relate? This is the sin...
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andromeda
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24
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539
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My brain. It's confused.
(Preview)
These past 4 days I worked a lot of extra hours. I was exhausted from my job and also dealing with nosey coworkers. On the way home from work yesterday I had to call my AH and tell him I was picking up our daughter. He said she hadn't eaten dinner and he asked me if we could all go out to eat. I told him I will call h...
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Newlife girl
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15
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561
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All I can say is...
(Preview)
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Need I explain?
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missmeliss
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36
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720
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confused
(Preview)
So, here I am working another night shift at the detox and my A and i have a fight. She is sober, well was when i left the house. Has been sober a week now. But we had a little fight before I left for work over the smallest thing and she texted me saying that I am hateful and mean and all this stuff. Basically s...
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CarlyM123
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11
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417
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