Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

cranberry · cranberry

My AH has been an alcoholic for a long time, longer than the 13 yrs we've been together. We've been on the roller coaster, rehab, bouts of heavy drinking, 5 yrs sobriety, and hospital stays. The past year has been awful and 2021 is not off to a great start. He's become so angry and violent. He's only bee...

Youknowme · Youknowme

Hi peeps. Mel here. I was a member of this forum a few years ago, and the fellowship of this board helped me to leave an abusive relationship. I've been doing OK since- my kid is doing great and I feel like I am thriving. I come here today to talk about my brother Jimmy. My mother has just expressed to me that s...

WendyP · WendyP

I would like to share on my earlier journey with Detachment. I am no longer living with the active phase of Alcoholism, and haven't for some time. I still have a lot of Family members who have both sides of it, the effects and Active. So Detachment is still very important to me. From my earlier Marriage wi...

Freetime · Freetime

Judgmental -- The writer of today's page doesn't use that word, but describes a compulsion with focusing on other people, and knowing exactly how other people should behave. By always trying to impose their own rules on others, the writer was neglecting their own life. We don't know what is best for...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT reading discusses living with an alcoholic and the subsequent distortion in our thinking,in particular how it can lead to blaming all our problems on the bottle." It is that distortion/blamethat blurs the "truth that we must look within ourselves in order to take responsibility for o...

JerryF · JerryF

I've been sleeping with a wide open mind for the last few days and why? The ladies of Al-Anon thats why. I will always be beyond grateful to the program and to the ladies who were here and caught me wandering around the front doors looking for ???? As I've mentioned, if there was one thing I knew when I...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading from C2C reminds us that no problem lasts forever. No matter how large or central a problem may seem, like other experiences in our ever-changing life, it is sure to pass. Each experience can help us grow because difficult situations bring out qualities that might not ha...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

I'm just curious,do you guys practice detachment on a full time basis with an A or just as needed? I'm getting much better at detaching when AH is in a funk. He does have good days and can be quite charming,fun,kind,etc. On those days I've been engaging. The thing is though, I am finding myself feeling...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

'Acceptance and surrender open all doors to AlAnon'...pretty powerful statement in today's reading, and a problem if we believe they meaning simply giving in or letting someone roll us.If I'm using the concepts as Alanon intended, Acceptance involves admitting there exist things we cannot chan...

DavidG · DavidG

I am always terrified of getting things wrong. Of course one person might say it is wrong- and the next person say it was okay. I was kicked out of home- after sticking up for my kid sister. For me it was a betrayal. A devastating experience. It was the last straw- that changed the course of my life. I be...

mamamary1964 · mamamary1964

So, last week we told our daughter she had to leave if she wouldn't get help. We talked and she actually said she wanted to go and had a safe place to stay. All was peaceful - until yesterday! She called her father and asked to come home, he told her yes if she would follow the rules. She came home, I typed...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 3/15, explores the act of forgiveness. The writer used to think that forgiveness gave them power and control over others. The thinking changed when they realized that behaving self-righteously only gave them suffering! This happens when we separate ourselves from fel...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- In todays reading the writer remembers hearing about the twelve steps being broken into four categories: steps 1-3 about giving up (admitting powerlessness), steps 4-6 about owning up (accountability), 7-9 about making up (amends) and 10-12 about keeping up (working at p...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Couple weeks ago, Nancy's daughter passed away. Heart attack. That was rough. The family came together and took care of each other. Last week, I lost a cousin who died suddenly from an aneurysm. So, I don't always like or understand god's plan for me. I take comfort knowing He walks beside me and like th...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses Step Seven - Humbly asked HiWm to remove our shortcomings." Often times, we consider this step with seriousness, dread and humility. Instead, we are asked to consider joy and even humor. The author suggests that a sign that we've actually gotten humble enough to ask our...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT talks about living in the days of calamity and hysteria, when alcoholism rules the way we lived and approachedour daily lives. But now that we have found Al-Anon we have the opportunity to see our problems with a better sense ofproportion and balance.Todays Reminder:Now that I am in Al-...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP and happy Saturday. Today's reading talks about getting our needs met and asking for help. Many of us, BR (Before Recovery), expected those close to us to know what we were feeling without us telling them. When we were angry and wanted to argue, sometimes we silently fumed. When w...

Freetime · Freetime

I couldn't decide which reading I like better, so I will share both. ODAT for March 12 says that we can be just as sick as alcoholics, with an obsession to "save" them. For our well-being, we need to learn that we cannot live another's life. When we focus on ourselves, this reading suggests, it is more...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author reflects on their Al-Anon work of reversing old ways of thinking. The author had been in the habit of playing it safe, avoiding risk, and avoiding painful feelings. However, life is one risk after another, and some amount of pain is unavoidable. Ra...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page looks at a symptom of our sickness: anger and condemnation toward others, justified by a (likely unrecognized) belief that what we do is right and what others do is wrong. These (seemingly) uncontrollable outbursts offer a kind of relief, but pay us poorly over time.Reminder: When I lo...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 3/8, describes a vivid picture of how many of us were, upon arrival in alanon: discouraged mind, tormenting ourself, thinking in circles, feeling like there was no air, and feeling tangled and confused. Nothing seemed straight or clear. Many of us were in a constant state...

TeaP · TeaP

I have known my spouse to be an alcoholic for a decade. It became obvious his behavior was apparent to everyone- when preschool called 5yrs ago. Despite promises and low dark moments, he wont seek help. Where his low point lies- is much farther than I can follow. I reached my breaking point with him at t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: In todays reading the writer describes being surprised at something heard at a meeting: that we (friends and family of alcoholics) can find contentment and even happiness whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. Like many of us who came to alanon, the writer figured th...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I canot believe it has been one year since Betty's untimely death. One year ago I wrote about feeling that Betty showed me great kindness and patience when I was in a terrible place. That dark hole that had swallowed me up when I first came to al anon. One year later I am writing that Betty showed me it wa...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

I'm grateful for: A roof over my head Food/heat and all the basic necessities that we all take for granted All my loved ones My dog This place How about you? What are you grateful for today?

DavidG · DavidG

I always wanted to belong. To a family and to a community. I tried to force solutions- because i was so desperate. So wanting to escape deep my sense of abandonment. This group has a business board where we can discuss group based issues. It is used from time to time. I practise a certain amount o...

Bbrave · Bbrave

Thought I had forgiven everything, but the latest crisis caused by alcoholism feels unforgivable. Every day I ask my Higher Power to HELP me overcome the hurt. Any advice out there on forgiveness?

mamamary1964 · mamamary1964

So I told my daughter to get help or she has to live somewhere else. It is tearing my family apart. My husband (a recovered alcoholic) has had 2 strokes and cancer and is a broken man, we can't do it anymore. My son, a recovered addict himself, is having a really hard time living with his sister and I can'...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading talks about willingness to have our shortcomings removed. The writer was concerned that without their character defects, they would be missing something. On working steps Four through Seven, it turned out that for every defect removed, an asset was uncovered. Letting go of the...

Youknowme · Youknowme

At the start of the covid crisis, (in Australia) my daughter left home. She wanted to be with her boyfriend, and the lockdown rules said that they couldn't see each other. She was gone for weeks; I was so sad. She brought me flowers a few times; it was sweet. I have OCD so when we had covid in Australia, I wa...

mamamary1964 · mamamary1964

I am struggling with an addicted daughter who is out of control. She totaled her car last week and the next day went out and financed another. Now because of her horrific driving record she cannot afford the insurance and wants my husband and I to cosign the loan so she can go back on ours (where she has b...

duffs · duffs

Hi everyone Thanks in advance for your support. I met my partner just under a year ago Within a few months it was obvs his drinking was a problem and he stopped in March. He told me he'd been in rehab years back but got lazy with going to AA, started casually drinking again but he does know deep down he can nev...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT reading speaks about when within the developments of sobriety in a family that it is not always magical and contentment. Resentments carried forward from the past may/will surface and it is suggested thatwe must be on guard and have patience that we do not lapse into feeling sorry for o...

DavidG · DavidG

After a weekend workshop. Well! Actually at the workshop... we are challenged to take the message on. I use the internet a lot- and I chose this clip- to present the programme to my local community. I was a part of building a community facebook profile- and we present all aspects of community l...

DavidG · DavidG

What next? I asked myself? 38 years in the programme so far. I have joined a network of old-timers really. Last weekend I went to an Alanon Study Day. I am a 50'd baby boomer, when I am not in the rooms. I want change- and I want it fast! One of the components on my home group breaking up- was the fact that...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the result of their Step 4 Inventory. For the author, the result was realizing that much of their behavior was immature, and a gift of the step 4 inventory was a set of goals to work toward with the help of the Al-Anon program. The author's goals incl...

runaway2020 · runaway2020

Hello, I have been with my husband for 25 years. In that time there has been repeated problems surrounding his drinking. In the past he would drink daily (a few a night and weekends he would go out and get drunk, then drive home after the bars closed closed). After a time of me expressing my concerns over t...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

Thank you all for your kind feedback. I do feel that I have moved to a new level in grieving our dear friend. That was not a level I got to with many people. Growing up in an abusive home meant that the death of my parents caused ambivalence. That is yet another loss in the virtual absence of my parents. I di...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's contributor focused on the great value of AlAnon Conference Approved Literature (CAL) in our recovery. It is a resource we can access 24/7 when a meeting, sponsor, or program friend may not be available.Not just for crisis, these pages offer wisdom and guidance straight from the source, of...

mamamary1964 · mamamary1964

I am just writing to vent becasue I am so frightened right now. I am no stranger to addiction (both my son (drugs) and husband (alcohol) WERE addicts) This is different it's my baby and my only little girl. She totaled her car on Tuesday (in my name of course) and went out and financed another in her nam...

Lyne · Lyne

The author for Monday, 3/1, tries to explain to us what humility is, and how confusing the concept actually is. It often brings us to resistance, we ask if we are we supposed to be submissive, and it shows us it is not intended for us to be slaves to our destructive way of life. True humility prepares us fo...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today I am beginning with the quotation from the Thought for the Day: Alcoholism doesnt have to be active in my life for me to be affected by it. The writer begins by acknowledging that it took quite a while before gettin to step one, admitting powerlessness over alcohol. How cou...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy Saturday MIP. Today's reading discusses how we need not design a master plan for our recovery. Instead, we are asked to humbly ask a power greater than ourselves for the guidance and willingness to follow that guidance just this one day. We learn to trust that we are not alone and we will recei...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I went to a webinar on resilience this week It was very helpful I have always defined resilience about what I survived That I didnt go under. I most certainly had a tumultuous time of of it . So here it is resilience according to this expert from Stanford is about affect regulation. soothing Most of a...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon points out that, when we hear of a fellow member experiencing cruelty or violence, we have a strong desire to give them advice -- to urge them to do what we think we would do in that intolerable situation. The problem is that not everyone is in a place or has th...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author shares about a very frustrating experience - going to the grocery store, only to find some shelves empty. This problem can be avoided if the grocer does an inventory and notices what is missing. The author shares that the 4th step is like this - a 4th st...

DavidG · DavidG

... Boundaries- I was told that the idea was to remove barriers and help create healthy boundaries. In my world the generational boundaries were broken -damaged. Some non-existent. So I still struggle with what a boundary is. At the moment I am thinking it might be about rituals of encounter. In my...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT speaks to us about the alcoholic who has reached a sobriety state and that our expectations that it is a complete transformationfor the alcoholic and our lives is not what we may expect. There still remains, struggles for them and they will still experience periods ofmoodiness and pers...

Ruskin · Ruskin

My partner of ten years has been addicted to alcohol and cannabis since I met him 12 years ago. We now have 2 young children. Throughout our relationship and childrens lives he has been unpredictable in his moods and also his presence. He can be an amazing dad and very caring and loving partner. He is hig...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Word meaning can vary widely across, even between cultures and individuals; "detach" is a good example.AlAnon's detachment is not complete disconnection of emotion, love, care. Rather, it involves removing ourselves from being unhealthily embedded (physically/emotionally) in the alcohol...

DavidG · DavidG

A few years ago my SO and I went to Stepping Stones north of NYC. This was to be a retreat for them- but there were oodles of people there- a lot of the time. I think there was hope bursting from every bud- in the woods around the house. Because we were overseas visitors- we were actually the only visito...

Lyne · Lyne

The author of the reading for Monday, 2/22, relates that making decisions were impossible because the imposed standards were too high. They only wanted to make decisions that would get them exactly what they wanted, or they preferred not to make them at all. Over time, the author learned that deci...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author shares that their own vision can be limited. Sometimes, it seems that the only possible outcomes are the ones we can imagine ourselves. In the author's case, thankfully, their Higher Power is not limited by the author's own lack of imagination. Som...

DavidG · DavidG

I tend to dwell on the topics here- meditate on them. Absorb them. There was a topic last week about comparisons. For three or four days I encountered dissociation... [numbing, or brain fog.] I rode with is until it cleared. Did not feel compelled to get back to Step one- and start the slow climb a...

DavidG · DavidG

I am reading the Feb 8 reading from Hope for Today. It is a timely reminder for me, because it says that we could consider putting ourselves on the list of those we had harmed. Tonight I am going to a neighbouring meeting. The mainstay of the group can't come- because she is ill. Do I go and ta...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about dealing with memories of past experiences, ones that are extremely difficult to accept and those that are more positive. The writer describes having found a safe place within alanon to deal with the pain of a childhood within a family affected by alcoh...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about unacceptable behavior. We hear early on that we don't have to accept unacceptable behavior. This helps each of us to determine what's acceptable vs. what is not. We certainly should never tolerate violence or abuse and the program helps us see we al...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's author obsessed over writing their Fourth Step inventory -- working on it around the clock and fearing they would leave something out. They discovered one of their character defects was obsession. This was a reminder that they could act as insanely as an alcoholic, even when completely s...

Debb · Debb

Todays reading suggests that the Al-Anon program works if those who approach it keep an open mind and not expect overnight miracles. It goes on to remind us that it took years to create the situation we find ourselves in, and that if we are receptive and listen, instead ofbeing quick to judge, that we w...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

So it's been nearly 5 months now since I asked my AH to leave, which he did. However, and maybe it's this seemingly neverending lockdown, but I feel lonelier than ever - even though I know that I was 'alone' even when I was with him. There are times when I feel good, but times when I find myself rememberi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Good Mom? Bad Mom? Bad Wife (Preview) My AH has been an alcoholic for a long time, longer than the 13 yrs we've been together. We've been on the roller coaster, rehab, bouts of heavy drinking, 5 yrs sobriety, and hospital stays. The past year has been awful and 2021 is not off to a great start. He's become so angry and violent. He's only bee...	cranberry	6	2568	Mar 20, 2021 by sunmustshine
	My Brother Jimmy (Preview) Hi peeps. Mel here. I was a member of this forum a few years ago, and the fellowship of this board helped me to leave an abusive relationship. I've been doing OK since- my kid is doing great and I feel like I am thriving. I come here today to talk about my brother Jimmy. My mother has just expressed to me that s...	Youknowme	8	4926	Mar 20, 2021 by sunmustshine
	More on Detachment (Preview) I would like to share on my earlier journey with Detachment. I am no longer living with the active phase of Alcoholism, and haven't for some time. I still have a lot of Family members who have both sides of it, the effects and Active. So Detachment is still very important to me. From my earlier Marriage wi...	WendyP	6	1567	Mar 20, 2021 by sunmustshine
	Courage to Change, March 19 - Judgement (Preview) Judgmental -- The writer of today's page doesn't use that word, but describes a compulsion with focusing on other people, and knowing exactly how other people should behave. By always trying to impose their own rules on others, the writer was neglecting their own life. We don't know what is best for...	Freetime	6	1163	Mar 19, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	March 18, 2021 – ODAT – Truth (Preview) Todays ODAT reading discusses living with an alcoholic and the subsequent distortion in our thinking,in particular how it can lead to blaming all our problems on the bottle." It is that distortion/blamethat blurs the "truth that we must look within ourselves in order to take responsibility for o...	Debb	4	3967	Mar 18, 2021 by JerryF
	Ladies of Recovery (Preview) I've been sleeping with a wide open mind for the last few days and why? The ladies of Al-Anon thats why. I will always be beyond grateful to the program and to the ladies who were here and caught me wandering around the front doors looking for ???? As I've mentioned, if there was one thing I knew when I...	JerryF	6	1931	Mar 18, 2021 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change March 17 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading from C2C reminds us that no problem lasts forever. No matter how large or central a problem may seem, like other experiences in our ever-changing life, it is sure to pass. Each experience can help us grow because difficult situations bring out qualities that might not ha...	Skorpi	4	532	Mar 17, 2021 by DavidG
	Detaching As Needed Or Full Time? (Preview) I'm just curious,do you guys practice detachment on a full time basis with an A or just as needed? I'm getting much better at detaching when AH is in a funk. He does have good days and can be quite charming,fun,kind,etc. On those days I've been engaging. The thing is though, I am finding myself feeling...	SunnyFrogs	27	4027	Mar 16, 2021 by DavidG
	3/16/21 ODAT in AlAnon – Acceptance, Surrender…Weakness? (Preview) 'Acceptance and surrender open all doors to AlAnon'...pretty powerful statement in today's reading, and a problem if we believe they meaning simply giving in or letting someone roll us.If I'm using the concepts as Alanon intended, Acceptance involves admitting there exist things we cannot chan...	Enigmatic	4	4112	Mar 16, 2021 by Iamhere
	Boundaries in Alanon- fear... (Preview) I am always terrified of getting things wrong. Of course one person might say it is wrong- and the next person say it was okay. I was kicked out of home- after sticking up for my kid sister. For me it was a betrayal. A devastating experience. It was the last straw- that changed the course of my life. I be...	DavidG	6	645	Mar 16, 2021 by DavidG
	She's Back (Preview) So, last week we told our daughter she had to leave if she wouldn't get help. We talked and she actually said she wanted to go and had a safe place to stay. All was peaceful - until yesterday! She called her father and asked to come home, he told her yes if she would follow the rules. She came home, I typed...	mamamary1964	17	3789	Mar 15, 2021 by mamamary1964
	C2C, 3/15 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 3/15, explores the act of forgiveness. The writer used to think that forgiveness gave them power and control over others. The thinking changed when they realized that behaving self-righteously only gave them suffering! This happens when we separate ourselves from fel...	Lyne	3	2082	Mar 15, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today March 14 (Preview) Good morning everyone- In todays reading the writer remembers hearing about the twelve steps being broken into four categories: steps 1-3 about giving up (admitting powerlessness), steps 4-6 about owning up (accountability), 7-9 about making up (amends) and 10-12 about keeping up (working at p...	yanksfan51	4	3050	Mar 14, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Lemons and Peaches (Preview) Couple weeks ago, Nancy's daughter passed away. Heart attack. That was rough. The family came together and took care of each other. Last week, I lost a cousin who died suddenly from an aneurysm. So, I don't always like or understand god's plan for me. I take comfort knowing He walks beside me and like th...	Wolfie55	6	557	Mar 14, 2021 by JerryF
	C2C 3/13 (Preview) Today's reading discusses Step Seven - Humbly asked HiWm to remove our shortcomings." Often times, we consider this step with seriousness, dread and humility. Instead, we are asked to consider joy and even humor. The author suggests that a sign that we've actually gotten humble enough to ask our...	Iamhere	3	1454	Mar 14, 2021 by Lyne
	March 11, 2021 – ODAT – We No Longer Despair (Preview) Todays ODAT talks about living in the days of calamity and hysteria, when alcoholism rules the way we lived and approachedour daily lives. But now that we have found Al-Anon we have the opportunity to see our problems with a better sense ofproportion and balance.Todays Reminder:Now that I am in Al-...	Debb	6	3104	Mar 13, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 3/6 (Preview) Good morning MIP and happy Saturday. Today's reading talks about getting our needs met and asking for help. Many of us, BR (Before Recovery), expected those close to us to know what we were feeling without us telling them. When we were angry and wanted to argue, sometimes we silently fumed. When w...	Iamhere	2	1687	Mar 13, 2021 by Lyne
	March 12 - C2C and ODAT (Preview) I couldn't decide which reading I like better, so I will share both. ODAT for March 12 says that we can be just as sick as alcoholics, with an obsession to "save" them. For our well-being, we need to learn that we cannot live another's life. When we focus on ourselves, this reading suggests, it is more...	Freetime	4	826	Mar 12, 2021 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change March 10 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author reflects on their Al-Anon work of reversing old ways of thinking. The author had been in the habit of playing it safe, avoiding risk, and avoiding painful feelings. However, life is one risk after another, and some amount of pain is unavoidable. Ra...	Skorpi	6	652	Mar 10, 2021 by JerryF
	3/9/21 ODAT in AlAnon – Anger (Preview) Today's page looks at a symptom of our sickness: anger and condemnation toward others, justified by a (likely unrecognized) belief that what we do is right and what others do is wrong. These (seemingly) uncontrollable outbursts offer a kind of relief, but pay us poorly over time.Reminder: When I lo...	Enigmatic	6	507	Mar 9, 2021 by DavidG
	ODAT in alanon, 3/8 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 3/8, describes a vivid picture of how many of us were, upon arrival in alanon: discouraged mind, tormenting ourself, thinking in circles, feeling like there was no air, and feeling tangled and confused. Nothing seemed straight or clear. Many of us were in a constant state...	Lyne	6	456	Mar 9, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Moving forward? Or standing still? (Preview) I have known my spouse to be an alcoholic for a decade. It became obvious his behavior was apparent to everyone- when preschool called 5yrs ago. Despite promises and low dark moments, he wont seek help. Where his low point lies- is much farther than I can follow. I reached my breaking point with him at t...	TeaP	4	652	Mar 9, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today March 7 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: In todays reading the writer describes being surprised at something heard at a meeting: that we (friends and family of alcoholics) can find contentment and even happiness whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. Like many of us who came to alanon, the writer figured th...	yanksfan51	6	1711	Mar 7, 2021 by Iamhere
	Betty 2021 (Preview) I canot believe it has been one year since Betty's untimely death. One year ago I wrote about feeling that Betty showed me great kindness and patience when I was in a terrible place. That dark hole that had swallowed me up when I first came to al anon. One year later I am writing that Betty showed me it wa...	Maresie888	9	1167	Mar 7, 2021 by DavidG
	Today I Am Grateful... (Preview) I'm grateful for: A roof over my head Food/heat and all the basic necessities that we all take for granted All my loved ones My dog This place How about you? What are you grateful for today?	SunnyFrogs	10	520	Mar 7, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Group conscience- thoughts and hopes... Tradition 2. (Preview) I always wanted to belong. To a family and to a community. I tried to force solutions- because i was so desperate. So wanting to escape deep my sense of abandonment. This group has a business board where we can discuss group based issues. It is used from time to time. I practise a certain amount o...	DavidG	2	438	Mar 7, 2021 by Lyne
	Forgiving my AH (Preview) Thought I had forgiven everything, but the latest crisis caused by alcoholism feels unforgivable. Every day I ask my Higher Power to HELP me overcome the hurt. Any advice out there on forgiveness?	Bbrave	10	1753	Mar 7, 2021 by duffs
	Set my boundaries but feeling sick over it (Preview) So I told my daughter to get help or she has to live somewhere else. It is tearing my family apart. My husband (a recovered alcoholic) has had 2 strokes and cancer and is a broken man, we can't do it anymore. My son, a recovered addict himself, is having a really hard time living with his sister and I can'...	mamamary1964	8	1554	Mar 6, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change, March 5 - To Remove Our Shortcomings (Preview) Today's reading talks about willingness to have our shortcomings removed. The writer was concerned that without their character defects, they would be missing something. On working steps Four through Seven, it turned out that for every defect removed, an asset was uncovered. Letting go of the...	Freetime	9	2011	Mar 5, 2021 by DavidG
	And while we are at it (Preview) At the start of the covid crisis, (in Australia) my daughter left home. She wanted to be with her boyfriend, and the lockdown rules said that they couldn't see each other. She was gone for weeks; I was so sad. She brought me flowers a few times; it was sweet. I have OCD so when we had covid in Australia, I wa...	Youknowme	1	1621	Mar 5, 2021 by Debb
	The Addict and the Law (Preview) I am struggling with an addicted daughter who is out of control. She totaled her car last week and the next day went out and financed another. Now because of her horrific driving record she cannot afford the insurance and wants my husband and I to cosign the loan so she can go back on ours (where she has b...	mamamary1964	6	1341	Mar 5, 2021 by TeaP
	My partner has fallen off the wagon- I'm a newbie ! (Preview) Hi everyone Thanks in advance for your support. I met my partner just under a year ago Within a few months it was obvs his drinking was a problem and he stopped in March. He told me he'd been in rehab years back but got lazy with going to AA, started casually drinking again but he does know deep down he can nev...	duffs	15	3116	Mar 4, 2021 by duffs
	March 4, 2021 – ODAT – Guarding Against Impatience (Preview) Todays ODAT reading speaks about when within the developments of sobriety in a family that it is not always magical and contentment. Resentments carried forward from the past may/will surface and it is suggested thatwe must be on guard and have patience that we do not lapse into feeling sorry for o...	Debb	5	682	Mar 4, 2021 by duffs
	Learning to pass it on... (Preview) After a weekend workshop. Well! Actually at the workshop... we are challenged to take the message on. I use the internet a lot- and I chose this clip- to present the programme to my local community. I was a part of building a community facebook profile- and we present all aspects of community l...	DavidG	1	1319	Mar 3, 2021 by Debb
	Mystory... Step one and step ten... (Preview) What next? I asked myself? 38 years in the programme so far. I have joined a network of old-timers really. Last weekend I went to an Alanon Study Day. I am a 50'd baby boomer, when I am not in the rooms. I want change- and I want it fast! One of the components on my home group breaking up- was the fact that...	DavidG	1	1240	Mar 3, 2021 by Debb
	Courage to Change March 3 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the result of their Step 4 Inventory. For the author, the result was realizing that much of their behavior was immature, and a gift of the step 4 inventory was a set of goals to work toward with the help of the Al-Anon program. The author's goals incl...	Skorpi	3	1745	Mar 3, 2021 by Debb
	Boundaries help. New here (Preview) Hello, I have been with my husband for 25 years. In that time there has been repeated problems surrounding his drinking. In the past he would drink daily (a few a night and weekends he would go out and get drunk, then drive home after the bars closed closed). After a time of me expressing my concerns over t...	runaway2020	9	2242	Mar 3, 2021 by Skorpi
	Betty 2021 (Preview) Thank you all for your kind feedback. I do feel that I have moved to a new level in grieving our dear friend. That was not a level I got to with many people. Growing up in an abusive home meant that the death of my parents caused ambivalence. That is yet another loss in the virtual absence of my parents. I di...	Maresie888	2	453	Mar 2, 2021 by DavidG
	3/2/21 Courage 2 Change - Pages of Gold (Preview) Today's contributor focused on the great value of AlAnon Conference Approved Literature (CAL) in our recovery. It is a resource we can access 24/7 when a meeting, sponsor, or program friend may not be available.Not just for crisis, these pages offer wisdom and guidance straight from the source, of...	Enigmatic	6	452	Mar 2, 2021 by DavidG
	21 Drug Addicted Daughter (Preview) I am just writing to vent becasue I am so frightened right now. I am no stranger to addiction (both my son (drugs) and husband (alcohol) WERE addicts) This is different it's my baby and my only little girl. She totaled her car on Tuesday (in my name of course) and went out and financed another in her nam...	mamamary1964	5	739	Mar 2, 2021 by mamamary1964
	Monday, 3/1, ODAT in alanon (Preview) The author for Monday, 3/1, tries to explain to us what humility is, and how confusing the concept actually is. It often brings us to resistance, we ask if we are we supposed to be submissive, and it shows us it is not intended for us to be slaves to our destructive way of life. True humility prepares us fo...	Lyne	3	438	Mar 1, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Hope for Today Feb 28 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today I am beginning with the quotation from the Thought for the Day: Alcoholism doesnt have to be active in my life for me to be affected by it. The writer begins by acknowledging that it took quite a while before gettin to step one, admitting powerlessness over alcohol. How cou...	yanksfan51	7	1706	Feb 28, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Courage to Change 2//27 (Preview) Happy Saturday MIP. Today's reading discusses how we need not design a master plan for our recovery. Instead, we are asked to humbly ask a power greater than ourselves for the guidance and willingness to follow that guidance just this one day. We learn to trust that we are not alone and we will recei...	Iamhere	4	479	Feb 28, 2021 by Debb
	Resilience (Preview) I went to a webinar on resilience this week It was very helpful I have always defined resilience about what I survived That I didnt go under. I most certainly had a tumultuous time of of it . So here it is resilience according to this expert from Stanford is about affect regulation. soothing Most of a...	Maresie888	5	1477	Feb 27, 2021 by DavidG
	ODAT - February 26 - Safety First (Preview) Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon points out that, when we hear of a fellow member experiencing cruelty or violence, we have a strong desire to give them advice -- to urge them to do what we think we would do in that intolerable situation. The problem is that not everyone is in a place or has th...	Freetime	2	2783	Feb 26, 2021 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change February 24 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author shares about a very frustrating experience - going to the grocery store, only to find some shelves empty. This problem can be avoided if the grocer does an inventory and notices what is missing. The author shares that the 4th step is like this - a 4th st...	Skorpi	13	2154	Feb 26, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	B-b-b-boundaries... (Preview) ... Boundaries- I was told that the idea was to remove barriers and help create healthy boundaries. In my world the generational boundaries were broken -damaged. Some non-existent. So I still struggle with what a boundary is. At the moment I am thinking it might be about rituals of encounter. In my...	DavidG	5	3364	Feb 26, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	February 25, 2021 – ODAT - Sobriety and Transformation (Preview) Todays ODAT speaks to us about the alcoholic who has reached a sobriety state and that our expectations that it is a complete transformationfor the alcoholic and our lives is not what we may expect. There still remains, struggles for them and they will still experience periods ofmoodiness and pers...	Debb	6	2449	Feb 26, 2021 by Debb
	Rock bottom, nothing left to give (Preview) My partner of ten years has been addicted to alcohol and cannabis since I met him 12 years ago. We now have 2 young children. Throughout our relationship and childrens lives he has been unpredictable in his moods and also his presence. He can be an amazing dad and very caring and loving partner. He is hig...	Ruskin	7	3283	Feb 25, 2021 by WendyP
	2/23/21 ODAT in AlAnon – Detachment (Preview) Word meaning can vary widely across, even between cultures and individuals; "detach" is a good example.AlAnon's detachment is not complete disconnection of emotion, love, care. Rather, it involves removing ourselves from being unhealthily embedded (physically/emotionally) in the alcohol...	Enigmatic	8	6188	Feb 25, 2021 by WendyP
	Dreams are free... :) (Preview) A few years ago my SO and I went to Stepping Stones north of NYC. This was to be a retreat for them- but there were oodles of people there- a lot of the time. I think there was hope bursting from every bud- in the woods around the house. Because we were overseas visitors- we were actually the only visito...	DavidG	8	2665	Feb 24, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	C2C, 2/22 (Preview) The author of the reading for Monday, 2/22, relates that making decisions were impossible because the imposed standards were too high. They only wanted to make decisions that would get them exactly what they wanted, or they preferred not to make them at all. Over time, the author learned that deci...	Lyne	9	2699	Feb 23, 2021 by Debb
	Courage to Change February 17 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author shares that their own vision can be limited. Sometimes, it seems that the only possible outcomes are the ones we can imagine ourselves. In the author's case, thankfully, their Higher Power is not limited by the author's own lack of imagination. Som...	Skorpi	7	3657	Feb 22, 2021 by Maresie888
	A share... (Preview) I tend to dwell on the topics here- meditate on them. Absorb them. There was a topic last week about comparisons. For three or four days I encountered dissociation... [numbing, or brain fog.] I rode with is until it cleared. Did not feel compelled to get back to Step one- and start the slow climb a...	DavidG	2	4530	Feb 22, 2021 by Maresie888
	A Step 8 reading... (Preview) I am reading the Feb 8 reading from Hope for Today. It is a timely reminder for me, because it says that we could consider putting ourselves on the list of those we had harmed. Tonight I am going to a neighbouring meeting. The mainstay of the group can't come- because she is ill. Do I go and ta...	DavidG	10	2973	Feb 21, 2021 by Maresie888
	Hope for Today Feb 21 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about dealing with memories of past experiences, ones that are extremely difficult to accept and those that are more positive. The writer describes having found a safe place within alanon to deal with the pain of a childhood within a family affected by alcoh...	yanksfan51	8	2655	Feb 21, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	C2C - 2/20 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about unacceptable behavior. We hear early on that we don't have to accept unacceptable behavior. This helps each of us to determine what's acceptable vs. what is not. We certainly should never tolerate violence or abuse and the program helps us see we al...	Iamhere	4	2496	Feb 20, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	February 19 - Courage to Change (Preview) Today's author obsessed over writing their Fourth Step inventory -- working on it around the clock and fearing they would leave something out. They discovered one of their character defects was obsession. This was a reminder that they could act as insanely as an alcoholic, even when completely s...	Freetime	4	464	Feb 19, 2021 by Iamhere
	February 18, 2021 – ODAT – Keep An Open Mind (Preview) Todays reading suggests that the Al-Anon program works if those who approach it keep an open mind and not expect overnight miracles. It goes on to remind us that it took years to create the situation we find ourselves in, and that if we are receptive and listen, instead ofbeing quick to judge, that we w...	Debb	9	590	Feb 19, 2021 by Daffodils
	Feeling lonely (Preview) So it's been nearly 5 months now since I asked my AH to leave, which he did. However, and maybe it's this seemingly neverending lockdown, but I feel lonelier than ever - even though I know that I was 'alone' even when I was with him. There are times when I feel good, but times when I find myself rememberi...	Bettertomorrow	10	2709	Feb 19, 2021 by Daffodils
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.