Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes it gets different before it gets better but it does! I am living proof that the sun always rises after the dawn. It is memorial day Friday today & I already put some special things on my stepdad's grave & it felt pretty good. Of course it is sad & I cried. His wife my mom is laid to rest...

Debb · Debb

In todays reading the author is speaking about when our problems are overwhelming and thatthe fault may lie with the fact that our perception of the problem is the problem!When we parse out and go beyond the problematic thinking we realize that we do have anoption to "Let Go and Let God." Sometimes o...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading is about fear and worry. This sentence, "When we anticipate doom, we lose touch with what is happening now and see the world as a threatening place against which we must be on constant alert." speaks to me today. We were informed yesterday that my AH's youngest bro...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on gratitude. The writer expresses gratitude for the message of hope in al-anon, for the literature, and for strong and helpful sponsors. The writer acknowledged that early in the program the feeling was more one of defeat than gratitude, and certai...

mamamary1964 · mamamary1964

So my daughter who was in rehab and returned home Wednesday is back to her old ways. I was holding on to hope after speaking with her and her therapist on Monday that she was going to follow through. She seemed so sincere. PHP for 2 weeks and IOP after. She was supposed to go to PHP yesterday and did not. ...

DavidG · DavidG

Kia ora koutou... greetings from New Zealand. Today I am in New Zealand's biggest city, Auckland. I tend to call it "Awkvegas". If I tried to find a meeting here- Would get bamboozled in the first ten minutes- trying to find the rooms! 60 years ago most of us lived out in the country and a tangi [funeral] w...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the gentleness of al-anon. The writer describes a situation in which he/she was told after a meeting that he/she was speaking so quietly the words were inaudible. The writer considered what this message from the two people who mentioned this at the mee...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

It's a little after 3:00 in the afternoon right now. AH is drunk,slurring and making/receiving phone calls during this. Right now he's talking to his mother. I walked away from his conversation with her. I so wanted to correct his words, everything he is saying he is pronouncing wrong. His words wer...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares that they at times have tried to avoid making the same mistake twice by creating strict rules for their behavior. However, it is impossible to plan for everything that might happen in the future, and by doing so, the author realized that they were limi...

DavidG · DavidG

Two of our members were in other parts of the country this week. In this neck of the woods- a solo member my sit alone for months and months sometimes, waiting for the next member to arrive. But tonight there were two of us there- and we got a newcomer. In our district one rural city has large Alanon gr...

DavidG · DavidG

The idea of straws and winnowing appeals to me. An image i used a lot in my healing. Gleaning too- from The Book of Ruth. But also that grim saying:- "The straw that broke the camel's back." I was broken and lost for much of my life. So lost there was no way out. I did need a miracle- because I was so stuck....

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

For a long time, this page author would automatically answer 'Fine, how are you?', even when they were not. Some may point to denial as a trait of alcoholics when in fact, we may use it just as much by always pretending that 'everything is fine'.Honesty is an important part of Alanon recovery, and deter...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

One of my core issues with the qualifier was his impulsivity. He reacted constantly. He was barely able to contain his emotions There is a long list of things he did that brought chaos to my life: 1) Quit jobs 2) Lost jobs 3) spent money (lots of it) 4) Had car accidents (I lost count) 5) Stormed out an...

DavidG · DavidG

We have two gorges out of this valley, and two passes. We are slap-bang in the middle of this big island. I have to go up one gorge to my meeting- which seems to be going well. ... First weeks- I was playing heavy prison blues in my truck. But just lately i notice a change. Many people won't have heard of...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

Originally AA was 6 steps. Bill W decided to expand it to 12 steps In the beginning it was a knowledged that what kept the alcoholic sober was going to meetings Certainly for me dealing with numerous qualifiers but one truly sociopathic one before I came into these rooms I had to trust that al anon mig...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP and happy Saturday to all. Today's reading is all about the gift of a spiritual relationship with a higher power that we gain in our recovery journey. We come to realize that we are powerless to change the fact that alcoholism has affected our lives. We come to believe that a Power gr...

Fedora · Fedora

My divorce was finalized about a week ago. Although we are still in the same house (and will be until the end of the year), I feel like this is bringing me to a whole new level of recovery and I am Very happy about it. Now that we are no longer connected by law, I don't have to use any imagination to work my pro...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading in Courage to Change talks about the quietness of heart that comes from taking the Seventh Step, "Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings." Humbly means calmly. It is not groveling, and it is not trying to impress. Humility is not humiliating. It is doing my part, and trusting a...

Lyne · Lyne

In the reading for Monday 5/17, the author says we really have no choice but to live one day at a time. We can make plans and scheme, but we cannot control results. We can compress ODAT to one hour or one minute, which can make life not only bearable but precious. By focusing on what is going on right here...

Lyne · Lyne

This reading is for Monday, 5/24. Oscar Wilde is quoted: In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. The last is much the worst. The writer says their will gets them into trouble, for even if they get it, they are not satisfied. The 12 Ste...

mamamary1964 · mamamary1964

Why do I feel guilty when I know I am being manipulated and say no? My situation is making me sick to my stomach. I cannot seem to get it through my daughter's head that the gravy train is derailed! When I say no, she keeps telling me I never help her and curses at me and threatens to start doing illegal thi...

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading, the author reflects on a former belief that if they could just find the right words, do the right things, dress in the right way, etc. people would agree with them and they would be accepted and belong. The author tended to look at others and believe that their outward appearances (h...

Debb · Debb

The author of todays reading brings to light the guiding "illumination" of reading and working the 12 Steps of Al-Anonand the benefits that not only helps the AA member but that the Al-Anon Step program guides the Al-Anon membersto attain the "aspirations" of a new beginning of a better way to live as...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's writer acknowledged handling some of life's inevitable challenges by not addressing them, remaining silent to avoid an argument. Consistently, this lead to resentment and poor outcomes.Seeing this pattern led to the realization that, though not something likely experienced by choic...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Monday, our state opted out of the federal unemployment, Rescue act that impacted me like a tsunami..I get 3-1/2 deposits left and that is IT!!! and that has to go to ins. (house and car) car reg. it has to go to STUFF so Monday, I am crying my eyes out, literally sobbing and hyperventilating almost becau...

Stepaddy · Stepaddy

A bottle of wine at least every day by 10 pm anything can get her arguing defensive, why is this happening to me stuff stuff falls, things break, bangs knee or breaks nail i work very hard for you and you criticize me. Not ! Taking anything I say as being critical she starts at 5 so how do I limit or slow or...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

At one time I went to.12 step meetings several times per day. One speaker stated that 70% of persons who go to 12 step meetings never do a 4th step For me the 4th step was indeed daunting. I did not want to.disclose how angry resentful and grief stricken I was. For the past few months I have been in a grief c...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

One of my core issues with the qualifier was his impulsivity. He reacted constantly. He was barely able to contain his emotions There is a long list of things he did that brought chaos to my life: 1) Quit jobs 2) Lost jobs 3) spent money (lots of it) 4) Had car accidents (I lost count) 5) Stormed out an...

Maria123 · Maria123

"Of all the things I've lost in life (my keys, my coat, my purse, you name it), it's my mind I miss the most" :biggin: I may have posted this before but it saddens me to see wonderful people here doubting themselves, mistrusting their judgement over and over again so I guess it bears repeating...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I've been here before, several times, with some words of encouragement or ESH to others who happen to be on a particularly bumpy part of their path, but mostly I've been here desperately looking for some ESH for myself when the disease throws me a curveball - this in one of those times when I'm looking fo...

DavidG · DavidG

... south of us is a vast farming district.The locals roll their r-r-r-'s when they speak. Humble honest folk. And the groups in the southern city are burgeoning. I am not going to rehearse the topic at the assembly. Stuff there, of course, is "in committee". It is more than possible that someone f...

DavidG · DavidG

...one of the privileges of old age. I often struggled with sleep and resting- lots. When I was a kid I sometimes wanted and needed to weep. Very much so. But I put so much energy and discipline into holding tears back. One phrase that sits in the beck of my mind is this one:- "I'll give you something to cry...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about our work in trusting our HPs will. The writer describes having grown up in an alcoholic home and as a result, developed a stubbornness in trusting others, really feeling a me against them mentality. The writer struggled with surrendering to HPs will,...

Iamhere · Iamhere

MIP Family - my apologies - I completely forgot to post a daily today. I offer no excuses or explanation - just amends for forgetting. I hope everyone had a great day - I did...busy, busy, busy yet fun/joyful.

Maresie888 · Maresie888

One of my core automatic self destructive patterns was envy My reaction to much of life was to envy others. In particular I most certainly envied the Qualifier. Since they were in a place of numbing themselves I certainly envied their lack of pain. Of course since they took substances they were mere...

JerryF · JerryF

See the wide smile on my face? I finally got a bit of protocol for logging in to this program and it worked.....Had to get rid of the old me (??? really? does that work!!!) and then keep the protocol simple. KEEP IT SIMPLE!!! WHO CAME UP WITH THAT ONE!!!?? I kinda sorta remember something like that...

mamalioness · mamalioness

though this is for NA, I can sure relate to what the author is saying about insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results He or she goes on to talk about mistakes and how we all know how it feels to make them. And how many of us feel that our whole lives have been a mistake. We often t...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Each day a new beginning May 14 In this daily, the author talks about miracles are instantaneous, we cant summon them but they just come of them selves and usually at unlikely moments and when we least expect them they talk about how we were miraculously been summoned to the road to recovery. And for su...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I literally have nothing to complain about. Even the day is bright & sunshiny & cooperative. The birds are chirping. Flowers are blooming. There is no room for complaints. I am just excited about a new day. It seems like that is a common thread to my day. I just have to wake up & hit the floor....

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

Dear friends, I am struggling and looking for ESH please as I feel like I am walking through a minefield that is still miles long. So I have been separated from my AH the last 9 months. I have always maintained the stance that while he is not actively drunk that he is welcome to see the children and he manag...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading in Courage to Change says that consistency, diligence, and patience in practicing the program lead to results -- although not always in the timing we want and not without periods where it seems like nothing is improving. A sentence from this page that has been true for me is, "Just wh...

Debb · Debb

Todays reading asks and answers the question why have we all come to Al-Anon for help. It suggests that as spouses/friends/childrenof an alcoholic we want reassurance that in our "torn down" state of mind we need reassurance that we are not the cause of the drinking. Our self-esteem has been dama...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author identifies the greatest hindrance to serenity: ourselves when we try to address every action, perceived wrong or injustice done to or around us. A main them in Alanon is the suggestion that, since we don't know what 'should' occur for anyone, we let go, let god/higher power, let event...

DavidG · DavidG

...I don't say this out loud at all- but i say it to myself often. At the same time- As I wake up there is always a song on my heart- music is healing. But what I say to myself is this:- "If i dropped tomorrow I will die happy." After tests last week it does look like I may have 15 or 20 years. ... There was on...

WendyP · WendyP

I would like to share this story with all of you, as It has helped me so much in early recovery and still does, when I remember to do it. It comes from a very old Book of Al-Anon Forum Favorites. Here Goes. A Farmhand carelessly left a freshly-milked pail of milk in the cowshed and went off to supper. Two Fro...

jellybeans · jellybeans

hi there, hoping someone can answer a question... i've heard that alcoholics are often narcissistic but i'm wondering if it's fair to say that the spouses of alcoholics are often narcissistic? if so, would appreciate any type of literature that points to this. thank you

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yesterday I spent my 1st mother's day w/o my mom. She died on September 30th of last year. I miss her terribly. I guess the day went well. I was able to do some things to make myself feel better. My husband & I bought balloons & red roses for her. We went to the grave site & took a lot of pictures fo...

DavidG · DavidG

This is "a letter home" sort of posting. When I was in America sought out people associated with these MIP groups and spent time with three. In Maori we say kanohi ki te kanohi, or face to face. There is no substitute for face to face contact. I have a meeting tonight, godwilling. Two members or maybe t...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's C2C, an AL-Anon member who is agnostic shares about doubt and their struggles with belief. Sometimes, this member doubts the existence of anything that cares about what happens in the world, let alone the author's life. Then, the author remembers how they were guided to Al-A...

DavidG · DavidG

At the moment I am uploading my mum a fair bit. Getting memory recall, almost daily... ...I sometimes have mixed feelings about here, as I am sure well all do- with people we love. I followed her through family, an alcoholic marriage and into a different world- where she was settled and happy. I thi...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

While going through years of trauma therapy I had a new found strength in myself. I was determined to stop being a doormat,start standing up for myself and stop allowing others to walk all over me. I started telling off and getting rid of every person that even looked at me the wrong way. I became extrem...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, May 10th, asks the question, how can I detach from my own wife or husband when our lives are bound together? The author says there are kinds of involvement that make our difficulties worse: when we interfere with the alcoholics activities, finding out where they are, what th...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

When I came into.al.anon I was living with the chaos created by an active alcoholic addict. My own reaction to this state of the affairs made it harder Fast forward many years down the line The pandemic has been almost two years. Vaccination has not changed much really. Tremendous issues and limit...

Iamhere · Iamhere

First, for any who are mothers, Happy Mother's Day to one and all. I will readily admit that Mother's Day and many other 'formal Hallmark holidays' for me are overrated. I tend to have to work overtime to keep my anxiety at bay simply because what may appear to be normal for many other families and on th...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the power of forgiveness and the consistent work we do in recovery to be aware of our attitudes. The writer describes the feeling when old wounds resurface- that this is the signal to do a self inventory and work the steps. Step 10 is awareness work and hel...

DavidG · DavidG

Changes are strong- that Yanksfan will present us with a reading from H4Today tomorrow on Sunday. But something in today's reading struck me- and i wanted to share. I I write/speak I am also strongly aware of the reading from Courage 2 change- about the yes-buts. The what-if's, the if-only's an...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning and Happy Saturday MIP. Today's reading/daily talks about how WE can get in our own way....in our recovery and our lives. Two words that signal a lack of acceptance are, "Yes, but . . . " Time takes time, yet when we can accept everything as it is, we can be reasonably serene. We do not hav...

Debb · Debb

I did not know that, in Al-Anon, you are not suppose to talk about your spouses actions and misbehaviors! I have been doing this all wrong? Have I broken the suggested guidance of Al-Anon all this time? If so, I am sorry to you all!!

Freetime · Freetime

Today's share in Courage to Change is by someone who found it hard to accept that alcoholism is a disease. They realized that they would not claim that will power alone could defeat diabetes or cancer, and would not blame the patient for their symptoms. In the same way, it did no good to nag, scold, comp...

Debb · Debb

In todays reading the author suggests that we do not come to Al-Anon to learn how to control the alcoholic. The reading continues to say that we come to Al-Anon to improve ourselves and thereby it maybe a contributingfactor in getting the alcoholic into recovery.It is also suggested that we do not di...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	What can I say? It does get better! (Preview) Sometimes it gets different before it gets better but it does! I am living proof that the sun always rises after the dawn. It is memorial day Friday today & I already put some special things on my stepdad's grave & it felt pretty good. Of course it is sad & I cried. His wife my mom is laid to rest...	Hoot Nanny	5	464	Jun 1, 2021 by Maresie888
	May 27, 2021 – ODAT – Getting Our Perspective (Preview) In todays reading the author is speaking about when our problems are overwhelming and thatthe fault may lie with the fact that our perception of the problem is the problem!When we parse out and go beyond the problematic thinking we realize that we do have anoption to "Let Go and Let God." Sometimes o...	Debb	17	543	Jun 1, 2021 by Debb
	Courage to Change 5/29 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading is about fear and worry. This sentence, "When we anticipate doom, we lose touch with what is happening now and see the world as a threatening place against which we must be on constant alert." speaks to me today. We were informed yesterday that my AH's youngest bro...	Iamhere	13	973	May 31, 2021 by Maresie888
	Hope for Today May 30 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on gratitude. The writer expresses gratitude for the message of hope in al-anon, for the literature, and for strong and helpful sponsors. The writer acknowledged that early in the program the feeling was more one of defeat than gratitude, and certai...	yanksfan51	11	463	May 31, 2021 by Maresie888
	One day out and we're back to the same old BS (Preview) So my daughter who was in rehab and returned home Wednesday is back to her old ways. I was holding on to hope after speaking with her and her therapist on Monday that she was going to follow through. She seemed so sincere. PHP for 2 weeks and IOP after. She was supposed to go to PHP yesterday and did not. ...	mamamary1964	30	1274	May 30, 2021 by mamalioness
	A Letter Home- Saturday share,,, (Preview) Kia ora koutou... greetings from New Zealand. Today I am in New Zealand's biggest city, Auckland. I tend to call it "Awkvegas". If I tried to find a meeting here- Would get bamboozled in the first ten minutes- trying to find the rooms! 60 years ago most of us lived out in the country and a tangi [funeral] w...	DavidG	2	361	May 30, 2021 by Lyne
	Hope for Today May 23 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about the gentleness of al-anon. The writer describes a situation in which he/she was told after a meeting that he/she was speaking so quietly the words were inaudible. The writer considered what this message from the two people who mentioned this at the mee...	yanksfan51	7	576	May 30, 2021 by yanksfan51
	Anxiety Inside My Hula Hoop (Preview) It's a little after 3:00 in the afternoon right now. AH is drunk,slurring and making/receiving phone calls during this. Right now he's talking to his mother. I walked away from his conversation with her. I so wanted to correct his words, everything he is saying he is pronouncing wrong. His words wer...	SunnyFrogs	33	5123	May 28, 2021 by Hoot Nanny
	Courage to Change May 26 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares that they at times have tried to avoid making the same mistake twice by creating strict rules for their behavior. However, it is impossible to plan for everything that might happen in the future, and by doing so, the author realized that they were limi...	Skorpi	11	558	May 28, 2021 by Debb
	My F2F group... (Preview) Two of our members were in other parts of the country this week. In this neck of the woods- a solo member my sit alone for months and months sometimes, waiting for the next member to arrive. But tonight there were two of us there- and we got a newcomer. In our district one rural city has large Alanon gr...	DavidG	3	993	May 27, 2021 by Freetime
	Straws in the wind... (Preview) The idea of straws and winnowing appeals to me. An image i used a lot in my healing. Gleaning too- from The Book of Ruth. But also that grim saying:- "The straw that broke the camel's back." I was broken and lost for much of my life. So lost there was no way out. I did need a miracle- because I was so stuck....	DavidG	2	329	May 27, 2021 by mamalioness
	5/25/21 C2C – How Are You…Really? (Preview) For a long time, this page author would automatically answer 'Fine, how are you?', even when they were not. Some may point to denial as a trait of alcoholics when in fact, we may use it just as much by always pretending that 'everything is fine'.Honesty is an important part of Alanon recovery, and deter...	Enigmatic	13	1729	May 26, 2021 by mamalioness
	Impulsivity (Preview) One of my core issues with the qualifier was his impulsivity. He reacted constantly. He was barely able to contain his emotions There is a long list of things he did that brought chaos to my life: 1) Quit jobs 2) Lost jobs 3) spent money (lots of it) 4) Had car accidents (I lost count) 5) Stormed out an...	Maresie888	6	2314	May 26, 2021 by DavidG
	Recovery song- long before AA and Alanon... (Preview) We have two gorges out of this valley, and two passes. We are slap-bang in the middle of this big island. I have to go up one gorge to my meeting- which seems to be going well. ... First weeks- I was playing heavy prison blues in my truck. But just lately i notice a change. Many people won't have heard of...	DavidG	5	1510	May 25, 2021 by Maresie888
	6 step (Preview) Originally AA was 6 steps. Bill W decided to expand it to 12 steps In the beginning it was a knowledged that what kept the alcoholic sober was going to meetings Certainly for me dealing with numerous qualifiers but one truly sociopathic one before I came into these rooms I had to trust that al anon mig...	Maresie888	3	467	May 25, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Courage to Change 5/22 (Preview) Good morning MIP and happy Saturday to all. Today's reading is all about the gift of a spiritual relationship with a higher power that we gain in our recovery journey. We come to realize that we are powerless to change the fact that alcoholism has affected our lives. We come to believe that a Power gr...	Iamhere	10	2829	May 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	Divorced finalized and so many things have already gotten easier. (Preview) My divorce was finalized about a week ago. Although we are still in the same house (and will be until the end of the year), I feel like this is bringing me to a whole new level of recovery and I am Very happy about it. Now that we are no longer connected by law, I don't have to use any imagination to work my pro...	Fedora	5	1372	May 24, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	May 21 - Courage to Change - Humility (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change talks about the quietness of heart that comes from taking the Seventh Step, "Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings." Humbly means calmly. It is not groveling, and it is not trying to impress. Humility is not humiliating. It is doing my part, and trusting a...	Freetime	13	2363	May 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 5/17, right here, right now (Preview) In the reading for Monday 5/17, the author says we really have no choice but to live one day at a time. We can make plans and scheme, but we cannot control results. We can compress ODAT to one hour or one minute, which can make life not only bearable but precious. By focusing on what is going on right here...	Lyne	11	3516	May 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 5/24, can we let go of self-will (Preview) This reading is for Monday, 5/24. Oscar Wilde is quoted: In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. The last is much the worst. The writer says their will gets them into trouble, for even if they get it, they are not satisfied. The 12 Ste...	Lyne	6	479	May 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	Manipulation and Guilt (Preview) Why do I feel guilty when I know I am being manipulated and say no? My situation is making me sick to my stomach. I cannot seem to get it through my daughter's head that the gravy train is derailed! When I say no, she keeps telling me I never help her and curses at me and threatens to start doing illegal thi...	mamamary1964	16	2779	May 23, 2021 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change May 19 (Preview) In today's reading, the author reflects on a former belief that if they could just find the right words, do the right things, dress in the right way, etc. people would agree with them and they would be accepted and belong. The author tended to look at others and believe that their outward appearances (h...	Skorpi	7	2600	May 21, 2021 by Maresie888
	May 20, 2021 – ODAT – Al-Anon 12 Steps (Preview) The author of todays reading brings to light the guiding "illumination" of reading and working the 12 Steps of Al-Anonand the benefits that not only helps the AA member but that the Al-Anon Step program guides the Al-Anon membersto attain the "aspirations" of a new beginning of a better way to live as...	Debb	6	1955	May 21, 2021 by Maresie888
	5/18/21 Courage to Change – Adversity, Opportunity (Preview) Today's writer acknowledged handling some of life's inevitable challenges by not addressing them, remaining silent to avoid an argument. Consistently, this lead to resentment and poor outcomes.Seeing this pattern led to the realization that, though not something likely experienced by choic...	Enigmatic	10	4006	May 20, 2021 by mamalioness
	Olive branches (Preview) Monday, our state opted out of the federal unemployment, Rescue act that impacted me like a tsunami..I get 3-1/2 deposits left and that is IT!!! and that has to go to ins. (house and car) car reg. it has to go to STUFF so Monday, I am crying my eyes out, literally sobbing and hyperventilating almost becau...	mamalioness	8	2286	May 20, 2021 by mamalioness
	Alcoholic senior wife (Preview) A bottle of wine at least every day by 10 pm anything can get her arguing defensive, why is this happening to me stuff stuff falls, things break, bangs knee or breaks nail i work very hard for you and you criticize me. Not ! Taking anything I say as being critical she starts at 5 so how do I limit or slow or...	Stepaddy	5	2616	May 19, 2021 by JerryF
	5th step (Preview) At one time I went to.12 step meetings several times per day. One speaker stated that 70% of persons who go to 12 step meetings never do a 4th step For me the 4th step was indeed daunting. I did not want to.disclose how angry resentful and grief stricken I was. For the past few months I have been in a grief c...	Maresie888	7	495	May 19, 2021 by Daffodils
	Impulsivity (Preview) One of my core issues with the qualifier was his impulsivity. He reacted constantly. He was barely able to contain his emotions There is a long list of things he did that brought chaos to my life: 1) Quit jobs 2) Lost jobs 3) spent money (lots of it) 4) Had car accidents (I lost count) 5) Stormed out an...	Maresie888	3	2697	May 18, 2021 by Debb
	Abuse - Verbal, Emotional - you'd be amazed (Preview) "Of all the things I've lost in life (my keys, my coat, my purse, you name it), it's my mind I miss the most" :biggin: I may have posted this before but it saddens me to see wonderful people here doubting themselves, mistrusting their judgement over and over again so I guess it bears repeating...	Maria123	16	12106	May 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	Looking for a balance between gratitude, hope, and the reality of this disease ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I've been here before, several times, with some words of encouragement or ESH to others who happen to be on a particularly bumpy part of their path, but mostly I've been here desperately looking for some ESH for myself when the disease throws me a curveball - this in one of those times when I'm looking fo...	texas yankee	55	3440	May 17, 2021 by Iamhere
	Our assembly... (Preview) ... south of us is a vast farming district.The locals roll their r-r-r-'s when they speak. Humble honest folk. And the groups in the southern city are burgeoning. I am not going to rehearse the topic at the assembly. Stuff there, of course, is "in committee". It is more than possible that someone f...	DavidG	2	791	May 17, 2021 by Lyne
	The power of a nana nap... (Preview) ...one of the privileges of old age. I often struggled with sleep and resting- lots. When I was a kid I sometimes wanted and needed to weep. Very much so. But I put so much energy and discipline into holding tears back. One phrase that sits in the beck of my mind is this one:- "I'll give you something to cry...	DavidG	3	923	May 17, 2021 by JerryF
	Hope for Today May 16 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about our work in trusting our HPs will. The writer describes having grown up in an alcoholic home and as a result, developed a stubbornness in trusting others, really feeling a me against them mentality. The writer struggled with surrendering to HPs will,...	yanksfan51	5	1308	May 16, 2021 by DavidG
	My Bad - No Daily Today (Preview) MIP Family - my apologies - I completely forgot to post a daily today. I offer no excuses or explanation - just amends for forgetting. I hope everyone had a great day - I did...busy, busy, busy yet fun/joyful.	Iamhere	6	1112	May 16, 2021 by Maresie888
	Envy (Preview) One of my core automatic self destructive patterns was envy My reaction to much of life was to envy others. In particular I most certainly envied the Qualifier. Since they were in a place of numbing themselves I certainly envied their lack of pain. Of course since they took substances they were mere...	Maresie888	6	392	May 15, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Good Morning Family (Preview) See the wide smile on my face? I finally got a bit of protocol for logging in to this program and it worked.....Had to get rid of the old me (??? really? does that work!!!) and then keep the protocol simple. KEEP IT SIMPLE!!! WHO CAME UP WITH THAT ONE!!!?? I kinda sorta remember something like that...	JerryF	7	422	May 15, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Taken from NA just for today but it’s a great post (Preview) though this is for NA, I can sure relate to what the author is saying about insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results He or she goes on to talk about mistakes and how we all know how it feels to make them. And how many of us feel that our whole lives have been a mistake. We often t...	mamalioness	4	2008	May 15, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Each day a new beginning May 14 (Preview) Each day a new beginning May 14 In this daily, the author talks about miracles are instantaneous, we cant summon them but they just come of them selves and usually at unlikely moments and when we least expect them they talk about how we were miraculously been summoned to the road to recovery. And for su...	mamalioness	1	1014	May 15, 2021 by Debb
	NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT (Preview) I literally have nothing to complain about. Even the day is bright & sunshiny & cooperative. The birds are chirping. Flowers are blooming. There is no room for complaints. I am just excited about a new day. It seems like that is a common thread to my day. I just have to wake up & hit the floor....	Hoot Nanny	2	1036	May 15, 2021 by Maresie888
	Struggling.......ESH please (Preview) Dear friends, I am struggling and looking for ESH please as I feel like I am walking through a minefield that is still miles long. So I have been separated from my AH the last 9 months. I have always maintained the stance that while he is not actively drunk that he is welcome to see the children and he manag...	Bettertomorrow	8	2679	May 14, 2021 by Maresie888
	May 14 - Courage to Change - Patience and Progress (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change says that consistency, diligence, and patience in practicing the program lead to results -- although not always in the timing we want and not without periods where it seems like nothing is improving. A sentence from this page that has been true for me is, "Just wh...	Freetime	8	1042	May 14, 2021 by Iamhere
	May 13, 2021 – ODAT – Seeking Self-esteem (Preview) Todays reading asks and answers the question why have we all come to Al-Anon for help. It suggests that as spouses/friends/childrenof an alcoholic we want reassurance that in our "torn down" state of mind we need reassurance that we are not the cause of the drinking. Our self-esteem has been dama...	Debb	9	1881	May 14, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	5/11/21 ODAT - Let it Go? (Preview) Today's author identifies the greatest hindrance to serenity: ourselves when we try to address every action, perceived wrong or injustice done to or around us. A main them in Alanon is the suggestion that, since we don't know what 'should' occur for anyone, we let go, let god/higher power, let event...	Enigmatic	7	1880	May 14, 2021 by mamalioness
	Step 12- gratitude... (Preview) ...I don't say this out loud at all- but i say it to myself often. At the same time- As I wake up there is always a song on my heart- music is healing. But what I say to myself is this:- "If i dropped tomorrow I will die happy." After tests last week it does look like I may have 15 or 20 years. ... There was on...	DavidG	2	307	May 13, 2021 by Debb
	The Tale Of The Two Frogs, (Preview) I would like to share this story with all of you, as It has helped me so much in early recovery and still does, when I remember to do it. It comes from a very old Book of Al-Anon Forum Favorites. Here Goes. A Farmhand carelessly left a freshly-milked pail of milk in the cowshed and went off to supper. Two Fro...	WendyP	3	467	May 13, 2021 by Iamhere
	question on narcissism (Preview) hi there, hoping someone can answer a question... i've heard that alcoholics are often narcissistic but i'm wondering if it's fair to say that the spouses of alcoholics are often narcissistic? if so, would appreciate any type of literature that points to this. thank you	jellybeans	13	2722	May 13, 2021 by Maresie888
	1st Moher's day w/o mom (Preview) Yesterday I spent my 1st mother's day w/o my mom. She died on September 30th of last year. I miss her terribly. I guess the day went well. I was able to do some things to make myself feel better. My husband & I bought balloons & red roses for her. We went to the grave site & took a lot of pictures fo...	Hoot Nanny	10	1775	May 13, 2021 by Maresie888
	Dreams are free... :) (Preview) This is "a letter home" sort of posting. When I was in America sought out people associated with these MIP groups and spent time with three. In Maori we say kanohi ki te kanohi, or face to face. There is no substitute for face to face contact. I have a meeting tonight, godwilling. Two members or maybe t...	DavidG	2	326	May 13, 2021 by DavidG
	Courage to Change May 12 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's C2C, an AL-Anon member who is agnostic shares about doubt and their struggles with belief. Sometimes, this member doubts the existence of anything that cares about what happens in the world, let alone the author's life. Then, the author remembers how they were guided to Al-A...	Skorpi	4	354	May 12, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Something on the tip of my tongue... (Preview) At the moment I am uploading my mum a fair bit. Getting memory recall, almost daily... ...I sometimes have mixed feelings about here, as I am sure well all do- with people we love. I followed her through family, an alcoholic marriage and into a different world- where she was settled and happy. I thi...	DavidG	6	509	May 11, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	A Gentle Program (Preview) While going through years of trauma therapy I had a new found strength in myself. I was determined to stop being a doormat,start standing up for myself and stop allowing others to walk all over me. I started telling off and getting rid of every person that even looked at me the wrong way. I became extrem...	SunnyFrogs	5	392	May 11, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	ODAT in alanon, 5/10, suspicion and prying (Preview) The reading for Monday, May 10th, asks the question, how can I detach from my own wife or husband when our lives are bound together? The author says there are kinds of involvement that make our difficulties worse: when we interfere with the alcoholics activities, finding out where they are, what th...	Lyne	6	1990	May 11, 2021 by Maresie888
	When the dial is hovering on red (Preview) When I came into.al.anon I was living with the chaos created by an active alcoholic addict. My own reaction to this state of the affairs made it harder Fast forward many years down the line The pandemic has been almost two years. Vaccination has not changed much really. Tremendous issues and limit...	Maresie888	4	1579	May 10, 2021 by Maresie888
	Happy Mother's Day (Preview) First, for any who are mothers, Happy Mother's Day to one and all. I will readily admit that Mother's Day and many other 'formal Hallmark holidays' for me are overrated. I tend to have to work overtime to keep my anxiety at bay simply because what may appear to be normal for many other families and on th...	Iamhere	10	2573	May 10, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today May 9 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the power of forgiveness and the consistent work we do in recovery to be aware of our attitudes. The writer describes the feeling when old wounds resurface- that this is the signal to do a self inventory and work the steps. Step 10 is awareness work and hel...	yanksfan51	11	1383	May 9, 2021 by yanksfan51
	Reflections on May 8 reading from Hope For Today... (Preview) Changes are strong- that Yanksfan will present us with a reading from H4Today tomorrow on Sunday. But something in today's reading struck me- and i wanted to share. I I write/speak I am also strongly aware of the reading from Courage 2 change- about the yes-buts. The what-if's, the if-only's an...	DavidG	3	1783	May 9, 2021 by DavidG
	Courage to Change 5/8 (Preview) Good morning and Happy Saturday MIP. Today's reading/daily talks about how WE can get in our own way....in our recovery and our lives. Two words that signal a lack of acceptance are, "Yes, but . . . " Time takes time, yet when we can accept everything as it is, we can be reasonably serene. We do not hav...	Iamhere	6	494	May 9, 2021 by mamalioness
	Question For You! (Preview) I did not know that, in Al-Anon, you are not suppose to talk about your spouses actions and misbehaviors! I have been doing this all wrong? Have I broken the suggested guidance of Al-Anon all this time? If so, I am sorry to you all!!	Debb	32	1862	May 8, 2021 by Enigmatic
	May 7 - Courage to Change - The Disease Concept (Preview) Today's share in Courage to Change is by someone who found it hard to accept that alcoholism is a disease. They realized that they would not claim that will power alone could defeat diabetes or cancer, and would not blame the patient for their symptoms. In the same way, it did no good to nag, scold, comp...	Freetime	7	1455	May 7, 2021 by a4l
	May 6, 2021 – ODAT – Realization of the Disease of Alcoholism (Preview) In todays reading the author suggests that we do not come to Al-Anon to learn how to control the alcoholic. The reading continues to say that we come to Al-Anon to improve ourselves and thereby it maybe a contributingfactor in getting the alcoholic into recovery.It is also suggested that we do not di...	Debb	9	2405	May 6, 2021 by WendyP
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.