Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

DavidG · DavidG

Anyone can take on a service role here- with this group. I have had to learn a few boundaries, over the years- to even function well... But I have pinned up a topic on the business board- and pointed the way towards a process... The emotion does need a seconder- to have even a second thought. The kaupap...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

For me being self supporting has been a long haul Getting to a point where whatever barrier I have come up.I have to deal with. That is of course some barriers feel insurmountable. Nevertheless I am certainly responsible for whatever I am dealing with Therefore now more than ever there is a need to le...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about changing self-destructive behaviors. The author had a habit of procrastination, but when they used Al-Anon principles to focus on their own thoughts and feelings, they realized that putting things off made them anxious. They saw the benefits of cha...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

Dear MIP family. As I have shared before I am separated from my AH and have been making progress in my own recovery. The challenge I am now facing is that my AH is spiralling rapidly downwards and it is so, so painful to watch, even from a distance. I am practicing detachment, keeping to my side of the...

WendyP · WendyP

Hi Everybody, and I am going to say "Everybody". I have been reading most of your sharings, and I am so very, very upset and am going to be very, very honest, I am crying at what I have read. I don't understand what has happened, and I don't want to know. But what I do know is that your are tearing each other apa...

JerryF · JerryF

Just got home from our first face to face group in a long time....Thank you God!! Woopers another great one. Of course MIP was there with me in my heart.

DavidG · DavidG

Through the lock-down period I have realised that I am no longer a newcomer. I think I always had a newcomer spirit. Eyes wide open. Sparkling sometimes. I think that laughter comes much easier these days. In my F 2 F group there is an older timer who has as many years in Alanon. She had a maj...

Bbrave · Bbrave

"This I learned in Al-Anon, that the man I married cannot be the source of my happiness or sorrow." Todays reading explains that whatever my Alcoholic is feeling, I am not responsible and do not need to go there with him. It also reminds me that through my experience living alongside him, I should know t...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 6/28, is about the writer feeling that their loved ones drinking was a terrible reflection on them. They worried what other people thought, and they got bounced up and down as their loved one made attempts at sobriety. What the author learned is that their well-being cannot...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

For those of you that have chosen to leave your relationship(for good,not temporarily),I would like some ESH on how you finally got to that place. I'm considering it. I am not expecting or wanting advice,I am just curious how you got the strength to do it. How did you get to that place where you finally...

DavidG · DavidG

1. Lock-down and the Covid-19 pandemic. Maybe a fair bit of "bear-cave" stuff happening? In this group- we have all been through this together. A w e s o m e ... The sun has just going down over my country. After snow yesterday, today was bright and clear, for the afternoon. ...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello mip! In today's reading from c2c, the author shares about an experience walking in the woods. The author heard a child's voice and followed the sound until they found the child. The child was repeating the alphabet. When the author asked what the child was doing, the child said "praying" and si...

Bbrave · Bbrave

Todays reading reminds us of the work we have done in cleaning up our past-cleaning house. In Step Ten (an essential Al-Anon promise), then, we must review each day to ensure that we do not accumulate a backlog of guilt to worry about. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promp...

shrnp · shrnp

I have only read one reading recently that had to do with the obsession and compulsion of the alcoholic. Are topics of mental illnesses off limits in Alanon? I can see that you would not want to replace a doctor or suggest someone's A has a mental illness. But, many people that abuse alcohol and other su...

Debb · Debb

I cannot do Thursdays readings anymore, is someone up for the task? {{HUGS}}

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Though we may be reluctant to acknowledge it, self-deception impacts how both alcoholic and Alanon members relate their experience to others. Both unconsciously hold back details that are unflattering to self, and magnify the fault of the other.Seeing the facts objectively requires a change of...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 6/14, begins like this: If someone were to say to me: Here is a medicine that can change your whole life for the better; it will put you in a state of relaxed serenity; help you overcome the nagging undercurrent of guilt for past errors, give you new insight into yourself and y...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

How do you you say goodbye to someone who has been a special & spiritual wise woman that has leave? I am certain that she will be moving on w/ the best of intentions. She is retiring & moving away on July 12th. I have mentioned her before. I don't really need to give too much detail but in the last 7 ye...

texas yankee · texas yankee

Hi - I am a great believer in Al Anon's approach, and I have been active in the program for many years - I have acquired a lot of ESH over the years from face-to-face meetings, and also from you fine folks here. My adult son has very recently exhibited some sudden onset mental health issues, and while ther...

DavidG · DavidG

Alanon Tradition 4. Each group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting Alanon, or AA as a whole. Before I arrived here, and became a member of this group- there was a move to join Alanon in an official way. This information is base don information that heard. This move was turned down. Th rea...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on tradition eight which states: Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers. While the main business of al-anon is non professional and there is no monetary compensation,...

Debb · Debb

I just love reading the C2C everyday. I start on January 1st and read two a day. I just arrived on April 8th and so wanted to share this one because I feel that the ultimate goal of Al-Anon is to help us move on from the past. The reading says that "examining the past does have great value" because to exam...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's writer recalls early Alanon shares describing how the alcoholic 'made' her feel various unpleasant emotions. A sponsor helped her 'begin with me' and see that her words conveyed power to others that they do not have: No one can make us feel something without our cooperation.Working on perc...

DavidG · DavidG

I think that groups go through phases of development. I used to talk about my FOO. My family of origin. Also my GOO. My group of origin. I think there are boundaries, and ways of talking about group stuff. But I am very wary of the talk- for myself. I think that different members have different standard...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares about the courage to be honest with ourselves. Being honest with ourselves can be quite the challenge! It can be difficult to admit that someone we care about has an addiction, that the addiction is beyond our own control, and that a power greater than...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading focuses on Step Six, "Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings." The writer calls these defects "roadblocks" that prevent us from freely traveling the roads of life, from growing as a person, and from having our dreams come true. When higher power helps us to see our defects as a w...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on step two: Came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. The writer describes having difficulty with the world sanity as insanity was experienced in his/her childhood home, watching his/her mother taken to a psychiat...

Fedora · Fedora

Hi all. In recent months I've not attended my F2F group because my Q has no drivers license and my kid had an activity that required me to drive him to/from, and thus miss my meeting. I was literally about to ask a person in my group to be my sponsor, but now I've been away from meetings and I've since learned...

Debb · Debb

So pleased to let you all know that Thursday's ODAT reading will be done by Bbrave. So kind to volunteer to take my place, please give her your support!! {{HUGS}}

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 6/21, says that after doing Steps 4,5, & 6, the writer felt ready to be relieved of their defect of character. Step 7 suggests asking God to remove it (them in my case!). So Step 7 does not imply removal of all shortcomings, but instead each one must be dealt with individual...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the influence of other people in our lives. After considering the amends of step 9, the writer wondered about ever repairing the relationship between she and her mother. One member of alanon suggested thinking about what talents had been received fro...

DavidG · DavidG

I have made an independent share here, fairly regularly. I enjoy responding to the topics from Alanon's three readers. I really enjoy participating in the topics and discussions. If y'all don't know me- my name is DavidG, and I am a proud member of Alanon. In this group I have created different sign...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading suggests that Step Four -- "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves -- is a way of doing what Socrates is said to have recommended: Know Thyself. We can get away from rationalizing or blaming others for our faults, overcome what blocks us from seeing the truth,and...

DavidG · DavidG

My SO volunteers at the small local cinema- and was out last night. I watched a programme on TV, based in Las Vegas- about a police and probation worker dealing with people with substance abuse. The guy said the recidivist rate was 97%. I had a nephew overdose and die in a house at the back of us here. And...

catlover26 · catlover26

I've spent a lot of time with my husband but we've just been married 2 weeks. I have been reading some posts and this scares me but I never thought about this. Sometimes he can seem like he's doing things for me but I question if he really wants something in return. And if I don't always do some things I get so...

Debb · Debb

In todays reading the author "challenges each of us to Let Go and Let God in all of our affairs." To let go of our self-willfulness to Gods care.Step Three, is a compilation of centuries of philosophical wisdom that are suggested to be greaterthan what we could image. Todays Reminder:"The words, "...

Debb · Debb

Greetings MIP Family! I know that the stress I have been experiencing has to do with a number of annual physicals coming up in July. They are stressful because I had two cancers so this time of year is not always pleasant. Couple that with the fact that I have to drive two hours to see my Mother & Father...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon talks about resentment and the desire for retaliation against someone who we believe has hurt us. It asks if we really know the other person's motive, and suggests that in some cases the hurt might have been unintentional or we might have been over sensit...

DavidG · DavidG

I have to apply the serenity prayer. And grieve for relationships. Our parents split up whenI was 26. Mum left home the day after our youngest brother left home. She went through some tough times- but survived and thrived, in the end. Our dad stayed on in the family home until he died. It was a small far...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

As you all know whenever I have an opportunity I try to go to classes on recovery I have always struggled with boundaries because of course there were none in my family of origin. Thete were no.boundaryes to protect me and my siblings One of the core issues in my family of origin across the board is enme...

Girl58 · Girl58

Hi, all. I'm new here. I've been in Al Anon for about nine years (I'm late to the party...see next paragraph)...but there's so much I'm still not able to put into practice. My qualifier -- my twin sister -- has been sober for more than 25 years. I had hoped that, by this time, her life wouldn't still be com...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the necessity of detachment, a topic that we tend to talk about a lot in Al-ANon. One kind of detachment is detachment with love from those dealing with addictions. The author shares that many alcoholics need to "hit a bottom" and become uncomfo...

DavidG · DavidG

We didn't take our kayaks out once this year- they still sit on the garage floor. Fact is that we went to rowing six or seven times. We have an old English caravan- and hauled i dover the pass into the next big valley. Two of our grand-kids are rowers. Both were in the national champs- and we ended up goin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't like to have to adjust myself to whatever comes my way! I am very stubborn & really don't like change at all. I know that the only constant thing is change. I have tried to work the Program on these issues & lately I can't stand the way I have been thinking. I am managing to live one day at a tim...

JerryF · JerryF

Good morning family. I am very rocky this morning and dealing with PTSD which originated from way back when as I fought the insanities not only of alcoholism and drug addiction and also the start of the war in Hawaii and over my home town. It has carried on till the present on a daily basis and fortifie...

cranberry · cranberry

Well, we made it nearly 2 months and now he has relapsed. I'm so exhausted from these ongoing highs and lows...sober 2 months/relapse/sober 2 weeks/relapse on and on. My kids are devastated that he is drinking again, especially my oldest. And I die inside a little more every time we go through this...

catlover26 · catlover26

I pretty much knew some of what I was getting into. I married my boyfriend who I guess it's 'right' to call him an addict as he's smoked pot 50 yrs. Overall maybe it doesn't interfere with our relationship but I don't know enough to realize it is. I have seen him in stressful situations where I see how it aff...

Micatee54 · Micatee54

My son is scheduled for in treatment rehab. Please pray he doesnt change his mind. He is killing himself. I know I have no control and I put it in Gods hands, but all prayers are appreciated. Just joined this group last night but I belong to others also. Thank you

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading notes that, coming in to Alanon, our focus is often consumed with the alcoholic. Recovery depends on our recognizing that the bounds of Step 1 powerlessness include the alcoholic... we cannot stop their compulsion to drink or shape their life to our liking and comfort.Admitting 'o...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

My life used to revolve around helping others. In particular the qualifier only had to ask me for help and I dropped everything to go to extraordinary lengths for him. He was really a very very good manipulator. In fact he was expert at it. Many alcoholic addicts are. This week I heard that someone wh...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning and happy Saturday MIP. Today's reading talks about Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. It is suggested that this step is a gentle, warm and loving way to take care of self. By continuing to take our own inventory and admitting pro...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Wishing you a very happy birthday ((((OC))) I hope you have a wonderful day!! TT

DavidG · DavidG

[From Memory] The Alanon Declaration. When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help- let the hand of Alanon and Alateen always be there... ...and let it begin with me. In the beginning I learned that we empower the person and that don't enable the disease. This shifted for me- to empowering myself. With...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading asks the question, if the Ninth Step says we need not make direct amends to someone we have harmed "if to do so would injure them or others," -- then how do we decide what kind of amends to make, and when? Today's author says that if they are willing to make amends, then higher power will l...

Fedora · Fedora

I wonder if there is a way to reduce the amount of email/texting contact I have with my ex. We live in the same house (for 2 more months) and have 2 kids so I understand it isn't possible to cut him off entirely. But I wish there was a way to reduce it. I feel like things are hitting a new level of low for him, wh...

Debb · Debb

In todays reading the author discusses when a newcomer to Al-Anon "tells his/her sponsor about the alcoholicconflict in the home" and how what is recanted is "only one side of the story."Our involvement in the chaos can literally make it difficult, in the midst of the upheaval, to see that our senseo...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in C2C is about Step 7. The author shares that when they got to step 7 (Humbly asked HP to remove our short comings), they initially stumbled over the very first word - humbly. The author felt that being humble their whole life had only resulted in abuse. But then, the author r...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

I'm looking for ESH for dealing with the lying. Of course I've learned from experience(tons of experience) that calling AH on a lie leads to nothing good at all. I don't need to describe or explain how that goes,I'm sure you all already know. I don't really want to just allow all the lying to be someth...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'a'll... heading for a northern city where i plan to roll out some ACA stuff. I have an Alanon meeting pegged in for Monday coming. Alanon is thin on the ground in NZ- and ACA thinner. So Alanon groups are great standbys for us- with the alcoholic or addiction in the family... One time I thought I wo...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's writer admits to a guilty pleasure of enjoying their Step 6 defects, in this case thoughts of Revenge and payback for wrongs, along with the satisfaction of pridefully thinking they were always right.Also acknowledged, however, was that this practice kept them from treating self and othe...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Notice of Motion on Business Board. ( 1 2 ) (closed) (Preview) Anyone can take on a service role here- with this group. I have had to learn a few boundaries, over the years- to even function well... But I have pinned up a topic on the business board- and pointed the way towards a process... The emotion does need a seconder- to have even a second thought. The kaupap...	DavidG	41	1860	Jul 3, 2021 by Iamhere
	7th tradition (Preview) For me being self supporting has been a long haul Getting to a point where whatever barrier I have come up.I have to deal with. That is of course some barriers feel insurmountable. Nevertheless I am certainly responsible for whatever I am dealing with Therefore now more than ever there is a need to le...	Maresie888	1	266	Jul 3, 2021 by DavidG
	July 2 - C2C - Positive Changes (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about changing self-destructive behaviors. The author had a habit of procrastination, but when they used Al-Anon principles to focus on their own thoughts and feelings, they realized that putting things off made them anxious. They saw the benefits of cha...	Freetime	10	238	Jul 3, 2021 by Maresie888
	Feeling low (Preview) Dear MIP family. As I have shared before I am separated from my AH and have been making progress in my own recovery. The challenge I am now facing is that my AH is spiralling rapidly downwards and it is so, so painful to watch, even from a distance. I am practicing detachment, keeping to my side of the...	Bettertomorrow	8	265	Jul 3, 2021 by Bettertomorrow
	what Is going on. (Preview) Hi Everybody, and I am going to say "Everybody". I have been reading most of your sharings, and I am so very, very upset and am going to be very, very honest, I am crying at what I have read. I don't understand what has happened, and I don't want to know. But what I do know is that your are tearing each other apa...	WendyP	4	308	Jul 3, 2021 by mamalioness
	Woopers!! (Preview) Just got home from our first face to face group in a long time....Thank you God!! Woopers another great one. Of course MIP was there with me in my heart.	JerryF	10	622	Jul 3, 2021 by mamalioness
	A Saturday Share (closed) (Preview) Through the lock-down period I have realised that I am no longer a newcomer. I think I always had a newcomer spirit. Eyes wide open. Sparkling sometimes. I think that laughter comes much easier these days. In my F 2 F group there is an older timer who has as many years in Alanon. She had a maj...	DavidG	0	152	Jul 3, 2021 by DavidG
	July 1, ODAT - Attending to Myself (Preview) "This I learned in Al-Anon, that the man I married cannot be the source of my happiness or sorrow." Todays reading explains that whatever my Alcoholic is feeling, I am not responsible and do not need to go there with him. It also reminds me that through my experience living alongside him, I should know t...	Bbrave	9	276	Jul 1, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, Monday, 6/28, what other’s think (Preview) The reading for Monday, 6/28, is about the writer feeling that their loved ones drinking was a terrible reflection on them. They worried what other people thought, and they got bounced up and down as their loved one made attempts at sobriety. What the author learned is that their well-being cannot...	Lyne	7	1417	Jul 1, 2021 by DavidG
	For Those That Have Left (Preview) For those of you that have chosen to leave your relationship(for good,not temporarily),I would like some ESH on how you finally got to that place. I'm considering it. I am not expecting or wanting advice,I am just curious how you got the strength to do it. How did you get to that place where you finally...	SunnyFrogs	19	1783	Jun 30, 2021 by mamalioness
	The things we cannot change... (Preview) 1. Lock-down and the Covid-19 pandemic. Maybe a fair bit of "bear-cave" stuff happening? In this group- we have all been through this together. A w e s o m e ... The sun has just going down over my country. After snow yesterday, today was bright and clear, for the afternoon. ...	DavidG	3	224	Jun 30, 2021 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change June 30 (Preview) Hello mip! In today's reading from c2c, the author shares about an experience walking in the woods. The author heard a child's voice and followed the sound until they found the child. The child was repeating the alphabet. When the author asked what the child was doing, the child said "praying" and si...	Skorpi	4	226	Jun 30, 2021 by mamalioness
	June 24, ODAT - Personal Inventory (Preview) Todays reading reminds us of the work we have done in cleaning up our past-cleaning house. In Step Ten (an essential Al-Anon promise), then, we must review each day to ensure that we do not accumulate a backlog of guilt to worry about. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promp...	Bbrave	8	1946	Jun 30, 2021 by Maresie888
	Mental health and Alanon (Preview) I have only read one reading recently that had to do with the obsession and compulsion of the alcoholic. Are topics of mental illnesses off limits in Alanon? I can see that you would not want to replace a doctor or suggest someone's A has a mental illness. But, many people that abuse alcohol and other su...	shrnp	31	2128	Jun 30, 2021 by DavidG
	Can someone take Thursdays ODAT Reading (Preview) I cannot do Thursdays readings anymore, is someone up for the task? {{HUGS}}	Debb	7	1157	Jun 30, 2021 by Maresie888
	6/29/21 One Day at a Time – A Characteristic We Share w/Alcoholics (Preview) Though we may be reluctant to acknowledge it, self-deception impacts how both alcoholic and Alanon members relate their experience to others. Both unconsciously hold back details that are unflattering to self, and magnify the fault of the other.Seeing the facts objectively requires a change of...	Enigmatic	5	274	Jun 29, 2021 by DavidG
	ODAT in alanon, 6/14, A medicine to change your entire life (Preview) The reading for Monday, 6/14, begins like this: If someone were to say to me: Here is a medicine that can change your whole life for the better; it will put you in a state of relaxed serenity; help you overcome the nagging undercurrent of guilt for past errors, give you new insight into yourself and y...	Lyne	8	251	Jun 29, 2021 by Maresie888
	how do you say goodbye? (Preview) How do you you say goodbye to someone who has been a special & spiritual wise woman that has leave? I am certain that she will be moving on w/ the best of intentions. She is retiring & moving away on July 12th. I have mentioned her before. I don't really need to give too much detail but in the last 7 ye...	Hoot Nanny	3	209	Jun 28, 2021 by DavidG
	A program like the Al Anon program, but specifically for people that have a loved one with MENTAL HEALTH issues?? (Preview) Hi - I am a great believer in Al Anon's approach, and I have been active in the program for many years - I have acquired a lot of ESH over the years from face-to-face meetings, and also from you fine folks here. My adult son has very recently exhibited some sudden onset mental health issues, and while ther...	texas yankee	12	2428	Jun 28, 2021 by Maresie888
	Tradition 4. (Preview) Alanon Tradition 4. Each group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting Alanon, or AA as a whole. Before I arrived here, and became a member of this group- there was a move to join Alanon in an official way. This information is base don information that heard. This move was turned down. Th rea...	DavidG	0	193	Jun 28, 2021 by DavidG
	Hope for Today June 27 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on tradition eight which states: Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers. While the main business of al-anon is non professional and there is no monetary compensation,...	yanksfan51	6	915	Jun 27, 2021 by DavidG
	Ultimate Goal Is To Move On From The Past (Preview) I just love reading the C2C everyday. I start on January 1st and read two a day. I just arrived on April 8th and so wanted to share this one because I feel that the ultimate goal of Al-Anon is to help us move on from the past. The reading says that "examining the past does have great value" because to exam...	Debb	12	1994	Jun 27, 2021 by Debb
	6/22/21 Courage to Change – Can Others Make Us Angry (Preview) Today's writer recalls early Alanon shares describing how the alcoholic 'made' her feel various unpleasant emotions. A sponsor helped her 'begin with me' and see that her words conveyed power to others that they do not have: No one can make us feel something without our cooperation.Working on perc...	Enigmatic	9	3125	Jun 26, 2021 by Maresie888
	A weekend share. (Preview) I think that groups go through phases of development. I used to talk about my FOO. My family of origin. Also my GOO. My group of origin. I think there are boundaries, and ways of talking about group stuff. But I am very wary of the talk- for myself. I think that different members have different standard...	DavidG	2	1102	Jun 26, 2021 by Debb
	Courage to Change June 23 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares about the courage to be honest with ourselves. Being honest with ourselves can be quite the challenge! It can be difficult to admit that someone we care about has an addiction, that the addiction is beyond our own control, and that a power greater than...	Skorpi	7	247	Jun 25, 2021 by Maresie888
	June 25 - C2C - To Remove Our Shortcomings (Preview) Today's reading focuses on Step Six, "Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings." The writer calls these defects "roadblocks" that prevent us from freely traveling the roads of life, from growing as a person, and from having our dreams come true. When higher power helps us to see our defects as a w...	Freetime	4	1760	Jun 25, 2021 by Maresie888
	Hope for Today June 13 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on step two: Came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. The writer describes having difficulty with the world sanity as insanity was experienced in his/her childhood home, watching his/her mother taken to a psychiat...	yanksfan51	16	1786	Jun 25, 2021 by Maresie888
	online vs live sponsor? (Preview) Hi all. In recent months I've not attended my F2F group because my Q has no drivers license and my kid had an activity that required me to drive him to/from, and thus miss my meeting. I was literally about to ask a person in my group to be my sponsor, but now I've been away from meetings and I've since learned...	Fedora	10	877	Jun 22, 2021 by Maresie888
	Thursday ODAT Reading (Preview) So pleased to let you all know that Thursday's ODAT reading will be done by Bbrave. So kind to volunteer to take my place, please give her your support!! {{HUGS}}	Debb	3	1310	Jun 22, 2021 by Lyne
	ODAT in alanon, 6/21: character defects (Preview) The reading for Monday, 6/21, says that after doing Steps 4,5, & 6, the writer felt ready to be relieved of their defect of character. Step 7 suggests asking God to remove it (them in my case!). So Step 7 does not imply removal of all shortcomings, but instead each one must be dealt with individual...	Lyne	2	207	Jun 21, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Hope for Today June 20 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the influence of other people in our lives. After considering the amends of step 9, the writer wondered about ever repairing the relationship between she and her mother. One member of alanon suggested thinking about what talents had been received fro...	yanksfan51	4	1356	Jun 21, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	A Saturday Share (Preview) I have made an independent share here, fairly regularly. I enjoy responding to the topics from Alanon's three readers. I really enjoy participating in the topics and discussions. If y'all don't know me- my name is DavidG, and I am a proud member of Alanon. In this group I have created different sign...	DavidG	4	207	Jun 19, 2021 by Daffodils
	June 18 - ODAT - Moral Inventory (Preview) Today's reading suggests that Step Four -- "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves -- is a way of doing what Socrates is said to have recommended: Know Thyself. We can get away from rationalizing or blaming others for our faults, overcome what blocks us from seeing the truth,and...	Freetime	5	233	Jun 18, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Dealing with the impossible? (Preview) My SO volunteers at the small local cinema- and was out last night. I watched a programme on TV, based in Las Vegas- about a police and probation worker dealing with people with substance abuse. The guy said the recidivist rate was 97%. I had a nephew overdose and die in a house at the back of us here. And...	DavidG	4	266	Jun 18, 2021 by JerryF
	How do I know if I'm dealing with a Narscisist? (Preview) I've spent a lot of time with my husband but we've just been married 2 weeks. I have been reading some posts and this scares me but I never thought about this. Sometimes he can seem like he's doing things for me but I question if he really wants something in return. And if I don't always do some things I get so...	catlover26	7	674	Jun 18, 2021 by Enigmatic
	June 17, 2021 – ODAT – Step Three (Preview) In todays reading the author "challenges each of us to Let Go and Let God in all of our affairs." To let go of our self-willfulness to Gods care.Step Three, is a compilation of centuries of philosophical wisdom that are suggested to be greaterthan what we could image. Todays Reminder:"The words, "...	Debb	7	311	Jun 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	Having Difficulty With Family Gathering (Preview) Greetings MIP Family! I know that the stress I have been experiencing has to do with a number of annual physicals coming up in July. They are stressful because I had two cancers so this time of year is not always pleasant. Couple that with the fact that I have to drive two hours to see my Mother & Father...	Debb	12	256	Jun 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	May 28 - ODAT - Resentment (Preview) Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon talks about resentment and the desire for retaliation against someone who we believe has hurt us. It asks if we really know the other person's motive, and suggests that in some cases the hurt might have been unintentional or we might have been over sensit...	Freetime	15	699	Jun 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	Sibs. i.e. sisters and brothers. (Preview) I have to apply the serenity prayer. And grieve for relationships. Our parents split up whenI was 26. Mum left home the day after our youngest brother left home. She went through some tough times- but survived and thrived, in the end. Our dad stayed on in the family home until he died. It was a small far...	DavidG	5	239	Jun 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	Enmeshmebt no differentiation between self (Preview) As you all know whenever I have an opportunity I try to go to classes on recovery I have always struggled with boundaries because of course there were none in my family of origin. Thete were no.boundaryes to protect me and my siblings One of the core issues in my family of origin across the board is enme...	Maresie888	4	312	Jun 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	Losing My Sister to AA? (Preview) Hi, all. I'm new here. I've been in Al Anon for about nine years (I'm late to the party...see next paragraph)...but there's so much I'm still not able to put into practice. My qualifier -- my twin sister -- has been sober for more than 25 years. I had hoped that, by this time, her life wouldn't still be com...	Girl58	12	300	Jun 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change June 16 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the necessity of detachment, a topic that we tend to talk about a lot in Al-ANon. One kind of detachment is detachment with love from those dealing with addictions. The author shares that many alcoholics need to "hit a bottom" and become uncomfo...	Skorpi	5	327	Jun 16, 2021 by DavidG
	Learned helplessness- old habits die hard. (Preview) We didn't take our kayaks out once this year- they still sit on the garage floor. Fact is that we went to rowing six or seven times. We have an old English caravan- and hauled i dover the pass into the next big valley. Two of our grand-kids are rowers. Both were in the national champs- and we ended up goin...	DavidG	5	247	Jun 16, 2021 by Maresie888
	briefly I don't like change or challenges (Preview) I don't like to have to adjust myself to whatever comes my way! I am very stubborn & really don't like change at all. I know that the only constant thing is change. I have tried to work the Program on these issues & lately I can't stand the way I have been thinking. I am managing to live one day at a tim...	Hoot Nanny	7	240	Jun 16, 2021 by Maresie888
	PTSD STRUGGLE (Preview) Good morning family. I am very rocky this morning and dealing with PTSD which originated from way back when as I fought the insanities not only of alcoholism and drug addiction and also the start of the war in Hawaii and over my home town. It has carried on till the present on a daily basis and fortifie...	JerryF	21	449	Jun 15, 2021 by JerryF
	Sad and missing my sober spouse... (Preview) Well, we made it nearly 2 months and now he has relapsed. I'm so exhausted from these ongoing highs and lows...sober 2 months/relapse/sober 2 weeks/relapse on and on. My kids are devastated that he is drinking again, especially my oldest. And I die inside a little more every time we go through this...	cranberry	6	261	Jun 15, 2021 by Maresie888
	Need support and probably advice (Preview) I pretty much knew some of what I was getting into. I married my boyfriend who I guess it's 'right' to call him an addict as he's smoked pot 50 yrs. Overall maybe it doesn't interfere with our relationship but I don't know enough to realize it is. I have seen him in stressful situations where I see how it aff...	catlover26	2	214	Jun 15, 2021 by Maresie888
	Scheduled for rehab (Preview) My son is scheduled for in treatment rehab. Please pray he doesnt change his mind. He is killing himself. I know I have no control and I put it in Gods hands, but all prayers are appreciated. Just joined this group last night but I belong to others also. Thank you	Micatee54	6	186	Jun 15, 2021 by Maresie888
	6/15/21 One Day at a Time – Powerless Over Alcohol (ic) (Preview) Today's reading notes that, coming in to Alanon, our focus is often consumed with the alcoholic. Recovery depends on our recognizing that the bounds of Step 1 powerlessness include the alcoholic... we cannot stop their compulsion to drink or shape their life to our liking and comfort.Admitting 'o...	Enigmatic	6	324	Jun 15, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Helping others rather than helping yourself (Preview) My life used to revolve around helping others. In particular the qualifier only had to ask me for help and I dropped everything to go to extraordinary lengths for him. He was really a very very good manipulator. In fact he was expert at it. Many alcoholic addicts are. This week I heard that someone wh...	Maresie888	9	313	Jun 15, 2021 by JerryF
	Courage to Change 6/12 (Preview) Good morning and happy Saturday MIP. Today's reading talks about Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. It is suggested that this step is a gentle, warm and loving way to take care of self. By continuing to take our own inventory and admitting pro...	Iamhere	10	321	Jun 13, 2021 by mamalioness
	Happy Birthday Overcome (Preview) Wishing you a very happy birthday ((((OC))) I hope you have a wonderful day!! TT	tiredtonite	4	173	Jun 13, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	The Declaration. (Preview) [From Memory] The Alanon Declaration. When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help- let the hand of Alanon and Alateen always be there... ...and let it begin with me. In the beginning I learned that we empower the person and that don't enable the disease. This shifted for me- to empowering myself. With...	DavidG	4	229	Jun 13, 2021 by Lyne
	June 11 - C2C - Amends (Preview) Today's reading asks the question, if the Ninth Step says we need not make direct amends to someone we have harmed "if to do so would injure them or others," -- then how do we decide what kind of amends to make, and when? Today's author says that if they are willing to make amends, then higher power will l...	Freetime	12	269	Jun 12, 2021 by Maresie888
	email ugliness from the ex - can I reduce this? (Preview) I wonder if there is a way to reduce the amount of email/texting contact I have with my ex. We live in the same house (for 2 more months) and have 2 kids so I understand it isn't possible to cut him off entirely. But I wish there was a way to reduce it. I feel like things are hitting a new level of low for him, wh...	Fedora	4	202	Jun 12, 2021 by Lyne
	June 10, 2021 – ODAT – Only One Side Of The Story (Preview) In todays reading the author discusses when a newcomer to Al-Anon "tells his/her sponsor about the alcoholicconflict in the home" and how what is recanted is "only one side of the story."Our involvement in the chaos can literally make it difficult, in the midst of the upheaval, to see that our senseo...	Debb	13	360	Jun 11, 2021 by Debb
	Courage to Change June 9 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in C2C is about Step 7. The author shares that when they got to step 7 (Humbly asked HP to remove our short comings), they initially stumbled over the very first word - humbly. The author felt that being humble their whole life had only resulted in abuse. But then, the author r...	Skorpi	7	335	Jun 11, 2021 by DavidG
	I Know You're Lying (Preview) I'm looking for ESH for dealing with the lying. Of course I've learned from experience(tons of experience) that calling AH on a lie leads to nothing good at all. I don't need to describe or explain how that goes,I'm sure you all already know. I don't really want to just allow all the lying to be someth...	SunnyFrogs	26	452	Jun 11, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	P-p-p-panic... but not on Step 12? (Preview) Hi y'a'll... heading for a northern city where i plan to roll out some ACA stuff. I have an Alanon meeting pegged in for Monday coming. Alanon is thin on the ground in NZ- and ACA thinner. So Alanon groups are great standbys for us- with the alcoholic or addiction in the family... One time I thought I wo...	DavidG	3	235	Jun 9, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	6/8/21 Courage to Change – Hanging on to Defects (Preview) Today's writer admits to a guilty pleasure of enjoying their Step 6 defects, in this case thoughts of Revenge and payback for wrongs, along with the satisfaction of pridefully thinking they were always right.Also acknowledged, however, was that this practice kept them from treating self and othe...	Enigmatic	6	228	Jun 8, 2021 by DavidG
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.