Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

OceanTide · OceanTide

Well I caved and replied to XABF email. I was disappointed in myself, but then I read a few others posts today. I've decided I will be grateful that I removed a lot of the you, you, you and made it I feel, and other I statements. It was definitely not perfect, but every time I can remove one you, followed my s...

Broken513 · Broken513

I bet you all were thinking "Now why don't she write" I have been back from Indiana now for 2 weeks. It was the best decision I could have made for myself to go there as it was much needed. While I was there I would not answer the phone after 8pm when AH called because it was just complaints and...

likemyheart · likemyheart

It's the most wonderful time of the year - for me anyway. I love trick or treaters, bought over 60 bucks worth of candy to give away, no I don't get hundreds of kids, but I can't just give each kid one treat, right? I love the older kids - giving up on being cool for the night to dress up and go knocking; I love kn...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 31 speaks about our inner reactions to the ever present "fear "we feel within . The reading explains that as the results of living with this disease, that anytime something" new" or unexpected happens, or the world does not go as we had thought...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

First a huge thank.you to those who.kerp.supporting me. I need your stories and wisdom. Im obsezsung, fretting and starting to get ticked off. . If my ah says one mire time im sorry. . But are you sure you dont want to reconsider. . I may kill him. Slap him at least. And there is offering to hug me? If i shrug...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 30 speaks about gratitude as expressed by members of Al-Anon. It points out that one of the most powerful experiences of a new member who enters the rooms and hears people express their gratitude, they (like myself) are often amazed . I could've written this p...

Debb · Debb

Quiet poise can be acquired; and it does have a decided effect on the drinker, who, even in an alcoholic fog, senses a change in us. But even more important relaxing saves wear and tear on our emotions and preserves our own dignity. "Let me turn my thoughts away from the torments of the troublesom...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am finding myself more & more willing to face the day. No matter rain or shine I have the chance to make it better & be there for others. Some of my Alanon friends are struggling & I am doing better being there for them sometimes if I just listen. Prayers are needed for a special friend who can...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Last nite i slept fitfully but woke up in panic. It seems to ne my new regular response. Ive spoken to.H about me moving in with a friend while we get financials in order. . Hes working with the bank. I said i would want him to agree to.a custody arrangement he said of course it just breaks my heart that you sn...

Iamhere · Iamhere

MIP Family - I put together a document that includes a ton of slogans and more regarding our program of recovery. You can print this out (2 pages) and use it as you wish/choose. I thank each and everyone here who has posted slogans and more so that I could put them in one place. This is a PDF file to protect t...

Debb · Debb

I want to recognize and appreciate the good and lovable qualities of the alcoholic, and not hate him, but the sickness from which he suffers. His gradual awareness of my appreciation of him as a person can rebuild his confidence and self-esteem and create a desire for sobriety. "By love I do not...

Broken513 · Broken513

Well we had some sad news today, my nephews wife passed away suddenly. I still do not have all the details of what happened. When mom called this morning to tell me about it, the death of my sister Kathy this past July came flooding back. I know how much he is hurting and wish I could just be there with him, bu...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Last nite i slept fitfully but woke up in panic. It seems to ne my new regular response. Ive spoken to.H about me moving in with a friend while we get financials in order. . Hes working with the bank. I said i would want him to agree to.a custody arrangement he said of course it just breaks my heart that you sn...

texasgal · texasgal

I met a man a while back and we have been dating pretty seriously. I met his son and he has been very attentive and loving. Yesterday I was out late from work. My work is close to his home. And we were going to eat dinner together at my home but since I was running late I decided to drop by his home. Their was a car...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 29 speaks about" taking offense" when somebody says something unkind about us even if it is true. The reading points out that many of us use that same justification to criticize others, and ease our conscious and justify our unkindness by stating " t...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

AH and I are hosting a group of 13 for Thanksgiving this year and I am very excited, I love Thanksgiving and I am happy to have a lot of family travel from far to be at our house for the holiday. People are starting to ask what they can bring to help out and the alcohol I know people will bring makes me very nervo...

OceanTide · OceanTide

Today is day 1...today I will try to remain calm inside my head. Today I will not reach out (good or bad) or reply to XAB emails. Today is about me. To the XAB, congrats on a two month chip. I know it has been very hard to achieve with all the guilt and shame you carry. I'm sorry I can't say something in person, b...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So after last nights blow up. . We did get through hoeever, the quiet "barbds" contued,where will you live, your name will still be on this mortgage, gonna take the dog right? , it just bothers me hecan be so damn heartless. . We both have said we want our daughter to stay in her school. So renta...

Debb · Debb

"Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" tells me I must first make peace with myself before I can learn to love others. I must remind myself constantly that I can never know any other person's motives and conditioning: I must, for my own sake, accept them as they are. A large ingredient of t...

a4l · a4l

I started writing a reply somewhere then thought id be better off expressing myself here. The children of alcoholism are so deeply deeply affected by the disease in ways that are insidious,baffling,cunning and hurtful. We the children of dysfunctional families grow up in survival mode, and are al...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well things in my life just Went from bad to Worse I can front of my husband but there is no Way I'm going to go to counseling With him and he freaked out. He demanded to know wHo I can talk to you and wHat it made me cHange my mind since tHe fact tHat yesterday I was considering it. SquiShy blame my mother whom I h...

hope4ever · hope4ever

Hello wonderful community of alanon friends ~ I have been in the alanon program for about 4 years now and I have faithfully went to meetings and worked my program. I have done the steps once. I do not currently have a sponsor. My reason for writing today is that I have really been struggling with Anxiet...

sharee · sharee

I have a 25 years old son. For the last 4 years or so he has become very withdrawn, he smokes canabis, he holds a full time job, to me he has completely gone there is nothing there. At times there is an odd moment when he is his old self. He has no friends, his only friend has just gone to universiy. Today when pu...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

Today is a day when I wish you were all in my home and not just my heart. I would like to bring you into the kitchen and offer you tea and have you sit down and cry with me. However, the tears wouldn't be all about sadness and grief - there has also been real growth here in the midst of pain. I am finding my foo...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning Family Today's daily reading will be brief as I am running late. I stayed up late, watching the Mets blow the first game and now need to catch a train for my weekly trip to NJ.The C2C reading for October 28 speaks about our attitudes and how they can be conveyed to others in what we say and...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well. .I read and re read everything people respond to me and i now am quite sure im crazy. . No not really just trying to.make humor. . So a week ago i had called a divirce atty, told my family of org and husb i was done and now im about to watch him go to his first ever Celebrate Recovery meeting and get the name...

andromeda · andromeda

My son called me yesterday at work to tell me that his dad had another binge while he was staying at XAH's house. He said that he got woken up at 3 AM while XAH was playing the drums until 5:30 AM. He then told me that he had to take Uber to school and back home again because the ex was non responsive all day. H...

kaim011 · kaim011

My H got back from rehab about a month ago and had been doing wonderfully- he was going to an outpatient program a few nights a week, AA the other nights, was being really open/honest with me, and really seemed like the best version of himself that I've ever seen. I had been living in a subletted apartment...

Broken513 · Broken513

I spent 6 overnights and 7 partial days at the hospital with my 89 year old MIL. She didnt have to wait for a nurse to come in when she was hot or cold, needed a blanket on or off, needed to go to the bathroom. She was very forgetful because of some of the drugs she was on so I also acted as her memory and she was gla...

Debb · Debb

Understanding my relationship to God will show me that humility is an essential element of faith, and true humility will remind me to LIVE AND LET LIVE. Faith in a Higher Power can also help me overcome my faults. If I believe in a Power greater than my own, it would be unreasonable for me to behave as tho...

Jeanniejox · Jeanniejox

Well its been 3 days since I took the first step towards getting my life back and that is to walk away from my relationship. Today I received the usual few messages from my ex but now hes saying Im been having an affair with his best friend which is totally untrue. Ive managed to stop myself from replying b...

maire rua · maire rua

At the moment, my son is home for a few days and is not very well. He is having a hard time finding a permanent place to live and unfortunately I cannot help financially as his father is ill with cancer and has no insurance, so that is where my money goes at the moment. I guess I just need to focus on the good st...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and didn't remember it being as intense. Eye surgery...right eye this time and removal of another cataract. DANG !! weird and total feeling of powerlessness. I like the gayety that comes about with the staff and then the seriousness of the surgery lights out and conversations from faces I canno...

uva25 · uva25

I just wanted to tell everyone that my AH is still doing really great in her recovery. She is inspiring me with her strength, increased energy and renewed ability to fulfill my needs. This is due to her following her own program combined with us working on our marriage. Things that would have been ea...

Jeanniejox · Jeanniejox

Hi all :) i find myself posting on here for the first time because I need to tell my story and would welcome your advice. This will be a very long post, however I need to let it out. Yesterday I walked away from a 10 month relationship. My ex-partner is a good person but his life is ruled by alcohol. He would...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Feeling emotionally raw. Those of yiu whobhaven rdg and responding know what chaos my life is in. . Let me add some more. My ah has reached out to a pastor friend, come clean and will be going to.his first cel recovry mtg on thursday. Im left feeling ambivelent, anxious, apathetic and scared. Is tjis jus...

Debb · Debb

All of us tend to rebel against the unhappiness in our lives; we try to understand; we resent what we cannot understand. Rebelliousness will only heap one frustration on another until we learn to get out from under, let go, and let God take a hand in our affairs. "When a man of good-will is trouble...

almostThere · almostThere

And this one will be right in town here where I am!! Can't wait! I hope it's a ... baby! That way I doubt i'll be disappointed. Can't start buying diapers yet because I don't know the sex, so I'm going to stockpile wipes. Gonna build a playhouse and a rocking bear. Rocking horses are too cliche. PLUS, Mo...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the effects growing up in an alcoholic home or living with alcoholism can have on our self esteem. It took me a long while to recognize this in myself because honestly I come from a loving and warm family- and always felt the strength of that. How then...

Jeanniejox · Jeanniejox

Hi again.......well Ive got through a day and a half since walking away from my relationship. Today I felt slightly empowered. Now, however, Im feeling guilty, sad, sorry for my ex, no concentration span and so, so exhausted. He contacted me today and wants to speak to me face to face, call me etc etc....

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

my ah is trying to be nice to me[cleaning a bit,taking me to doc] he has overcompansated by being verbal constantly and trying to do stuff for me. there are alot of details right now that i have to sort through that he doesnt understand to do so i am doing them so i wont get screwed. i have to rember to stop fal...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

I am curious to know what experience others have with relapse. My AH has been sober for almost 4 months. Though I think he is still sober I often wonder if I will know quickly if he is drinking again. From what I have heard, once they relapse, most Alcoholics relapse and start drinking again very quic...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I know that detachment is very important in Al-Anon. I physically detach by leaving the house when my AH drinks, go out with friends, go shopping or just stay in the house in another room reading, watching television, talking on the phone or cleaning and doing laundry. This is easy. However, where...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So i have said i want divorce. I feel there is no going back. .Two affairs, one with a fam friend and yrs of dysfunction. I need me back, that said my daughter now blames me saying why cant you give daddy another chance. . Ah keeps reminding me of the good. I feel like im dying inside. . This is why ive tried to s...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So now that ive said ENOUGH. ,my ah is being loving, helpful, begging for me to let him proove he will change andalthough i feel strong. . I die a little lore inside. I woke uo today and coukd hear him crying as im sleeping in a different room. I stayed away but its tearing me up. I do love theman but i have give...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for October 26 discusses the difference between reacting and responding. It points out that many of us.use a smile and kind words, .outwardly but our inner attitudes of anger, resentment and fear are expressed by our tone of voice and subtle actions The reminder suggests that...

almostThere · almostThere

Oh yeah...Step #1. Admitting that I was powerless over alcohol. Yup.

Debb · Debb

A period of meditation, everyday, is necessary to spiritual development. I control these "thinking time." If I meditate on what is good in my life, it will increase day by day and crowd out the self-pity and resentment over what I lack and what is hurting me. Suddenly I will find myself able...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am basically saying this to remind myself but I hope it helps someone else. Since the beginning of the year or so I have been trying to practice this in my marriage. I am not always successful but I am doing better. I have been counseled & listen on here. All I can say for sure is that it works if you work...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning everyone- The "spam" people, with such boring lives, have been here all night posting messages to fill up 4 pages of the Alanon Message Board. I have deleted many and blocked several IPs. John is working on a Mass removal. In the mean time I ask your patience and suggest w...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 25 talks about the defect of character that some develop by living with the disease of alcoholism . It is the habit of making "decision and choices passively" The reading points out that by doing this we "Let things happen, rather than taking ac...

Debb · Debb

Success with the Al-Anon program demands that we think, honestly and in depth, about our attitudes, evaluate our words and actions. When the attitudes change from hostility to forgiveness, from violence to quiet acceptance, our words and actions follow along. "Freedom has many facets, b...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today I am happy joyous & free! They used to have this on a door at my old fellowship. It reminds me that I can be happy filled w/ joy & have freedom to do things I never thought possible. I only know how to do the things I was taught. New things scare me but challenge me. I will remember to take chances...

otis · otis

Just looking to share my experience and hope to find some friends out there. In 2010 I lost my sister to alcohol. She died of kidney and liver failure. She was my best friend and I miss her terribly. I still am trying to deal with the feelings that I should have done more. Can seem to get over that.

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 24 speaks about recovery in Al-Anon being compared to the peeling of an onion. It points out that we peal a layer away at a time often shedding a few tears as we do. Recovery always makes us think of the bark of the tree. The tree bark is necessary to protect the tree. As the tr...

Debb · Debb

I will examine, with a sharp and honest eye, my OWN motives, for I need to do a lot of straight thinking about my own attitudes and actions. If I am troubled, worried, exasperated or frustrated, do I rationalize the situation and put the blame on someone else? Or can I honestly admit that I may be at fault...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

I'm needing some significant support right now as you can only imagine my Husband is pulling out all tHe stops as He doesn't want me to leave and I've actually drawing a line in tHe sand. He is begging me to go to counseling wHicH I do not want to do I just tHink tHat prolong tHe agony wHicH I've done before H...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for October 23 suggests that we try to look differently at familiar phrases and attempt to understand them in a different light.. The saying :" he is standing in his own light, is used as an example. It points out that if we take the time to focus on ourselves, examine our motive...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

To those of you who have left you ah with children in the mix. . Id love some tlc and how to. Im finally at mylimit but getting out is no easy task. . -- Edited by Theoceancalls on Friday 23rd of October 2015 02:59:41 PM

KT2015 · KT2015

I am so angry at my AH right now I want to scream. I had an unexpected family visit last night. A few people were in town and wanted to get together. My AH had other plans that included him staying home so I didn't push him and I wasn't angry about that at all (in the past I would have been fuming that he would...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Baby steps (Preview) Well I caved and replied to XABF email. I was disappointed in myself, but then I read a few others posts today. I've decided I will be grateful that I removed a lot of the you, you, you and made it I feel, and other I statements. It was definitely not perfect, but every time I can remove one you, followed my s...	OceanTide	5	614	Oct 31, 2015 by Jerry F
	Finally a chance to write (Preview) I bet you all were thinking "Now why don't she write" I have been back from Indiana now for 2 weeks. It was the best decision I could have made for myself to go there as it was much needed. While I was there I would not answer the phone after 8pm when AH called because it was just complaints and...	Broken513	16	773	Oct 31, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Happy Halloween! (Preview) It's the most wonderful time of the year - for me anyway. I love trick or treaters, bought over 60 bucks worth of candy to give away, no I don't get hundreds of kids, but I can't just give each kid one treat, right? I love the older kids - giving up on being cool for the night to dress up and go knocking; I love kn...	likemyheart	3	535	Oct 31, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Courage to Change Reading 10-31 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 31 speaks about our inner reactions to the ever present "fear "we feel within . The reading explains that as the results of living with this disease, that anytime something" new" or unexpected happens, or the world does not go as we had thought...	hotrod	3	1019	Oct 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	to those wives who have div their AHs (Preview) First a huge thank.you to those who.kerp.supporting me. I need your stories and wisdom. Im obsezsung, fretting and starting to get ticked off. . If my ah says one mire time im sorry. . But are you sure you dont want to reconsider. . I may kill him. Slap him at least. And there is offering to hug me? If i shrug...	Theoceancalls	7	682	Oct 31, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	C2C 10-30 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 30 speaks about gratitude as expressed by members of Al-Anon. It points out that one of the most powerful experiences of a new member who enters the rooms and hears people express their gratitude, they (like myself) are often amazed . I could've written this p...	hotrod	3	558	Oct 31, 2015 by hotrod
	Thought for Today ~ Poise ~ 10/31/15 (Preview) Quiet poise can be acquired; and it does have a decided effect on the drinker, who, even in an alcoholic fog, senses a change in us. But even more important relaxing saves wear and tear on our emotions and preserves our own dignity. "Let me turn my thoughts away from the torments of the troublesom...	Debb	2	498	Oct 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	it is getting better (Preview) I am finding myself more & more willing to face the day. No matter rain or shine I have the chance to make it better & be there for others. Some of my Alanon friends are struggling & I am doing better being there for them sometimes if I just listen. Prayers are needed for a special friend who can...	Hoot Nanny	2	335	Oct 30, 2015 by hotrod
	morning panic again (Preview) Last nite i slept fitfully but woke up in panic. It seems to ne my new regular response. Ive spoken to.H about me moving in with a friend while we get financials in order. . Hes working with the bank. I said i would want him to agree to.a custody arrangement he said of course it just breaks my heart that you sn...	Theoceancalls	12	643	Oct 30, 2015 by el-cee
	Al-Anon Slogans & More - Print Out (Preview) MIP Family - I put together a document that includes a ton of slogans and more regarding our program of recovery. You can print this out (2 pages) and use it as you wish/choose. I thank each and everyone here who has posted slogans and more so that I could put them in one place. This is a PDF file to protect t...	Iamhere	10	3150	Oct 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Appreciation ~ 10/30/15 (Preview) I want to recognize and appreciate the good and lovable qualities of the alcoholic, and not hate him, but the sickness from which he suffers. His gradual awareness of my appreciation of him as a person can rebuild his confidence and self-esteem and create a desire for sobriety. "By love I do not...	Debb	2	542	Oct 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	2 forward 1 back still ahead (Preview) Well we had some sad news today, my nephews wife passed away suddenly. I still do not have all the details of what happened. When mom called this morning to tell me about it, the death of my sister Kathy this past July came flooding back. I know how much he is hurting and wish I could just be there with him, bu...	Broken513	5	588	Oct 30, 2015 by hope(fullone)
	morning panic again (Preview) Last nite i slept fitfully but woke up in panic. It seems to ne my new regular response. Ive spoken to.H about me moving in with a friend while we get financials in order. . Hes working with the bank. I said i would want him to agree to.a custody arrangement he said of course it just breaks my heart that you sn...	Theoceancalls	1	328	Oct 30, 2015 by hotrod
	I did it again :( (Preview) I met a man a while back and we have been dating pretty seriously. I met his son and he has been very attentive and loving. Yesterday I was out late from work. My work is close to his home. And we were going to eat dinner together at my home but since I was running late I decided to drop by his home. Their was a car...	texasgal	8	693	Oct 30, 2015 by Debb
	Courage to Change reading 10-29 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 29 speaks about" taking offense" when somebody says something unkind about us even if it is true. The reading points out that many of us use that same justification to criticize others, and ease our conscious and justify our unkindness by stating " t...	hotrod	5	640	Oct 29, 2015 by Debb
	Thanksgiving and the drinks. (Preview) AH and I are hosting a group of 13 for Thanksgiving this year and I am very excited, I love Thanksgiving and I am happy to have a lot of family travel from far to be at our house for the holiday. People are starting to ask what they can bring to help out and the alcohol I know people will bring makes me very nervo...	CoopsMom	11	911	Oct 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	Today is day 1 (Preview) Today is day 1...today I will try to remain calm inside my head. Today I will not reach out (good or bad) or reply to XAB emails. Today is about me. To the XAB, congrats on a two month chip. I know it has been very hard to achieve with all the guilt and shame you carry. I'm sorry I can't say something in person, b...	OceanTide	5	530	Oct 29, 2015 by OceanTide
	made it through, but. . (Preview) So after last nights blow up. . We did get through hoeever, the quiet "barbds" contued,where will you live, your name will still be on this mortgage, gonna take the dog right? , it just bothers me hecan be so damn heartless. . We both have said we want our daughter to stay in her school. So renta...	Theoceancalls	6	585	Oct 29, 2015 by OceanTide
	Thought for Today ~ Tolerance ~ 10/29/15 (Preview) "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" tells me I must first make peace with myself before I can learn to love others. I must remind myself constantly that I can never know any other person's motives and conditioning: I must, for my own sake, accept them as they are. A large ingredient of t...	Debb	2	452	Oct 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	the frustration of the family disease alcoholism. (Preview) I started writing a reply somewhere then thought id be better off expressing myself here. The children of alcoholism are so deeply deeply affected by the disease in ways that are insidious,baffling,cunning and hurtful. We the children of dysfunctional families grow up in survival mode, and are al...	a4l	3	579	Oct 29, 2015 by a4l
	I really messed up. .big (Preview) Well things in my life just Went from bad to Worse I can front of my husband but there is no Way I'm going to go to counseling With him and he freaked out. He demanded to know wHo I can talk to you and wHat it made me cHange my mind since tHe fact tHat yesterday I was considering it. SquiShy blame my mother whom I h...	Theoceancalls	7	666	Oct 28, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	How to overcome my anxiety with alanon (Preview) Hello wonderful community of alanon friends ~ I have been in the alanon program for about 4 years now and I have faithfully went to meetings and worked my program. I have done the steps once. I do not currently have a sponsor. My reason for writing today is that I have really been struggling with Anxiet...	hope4ever	4	1585	Oct 28, 2015 by a4l
	Empty drinks bottles (Preview) I have a 25 years old son. For the last 4 years or so he has become very withdrawn, he smokes canabis, he holds a full time job, to me he has completely gone there is nothing there. At times there is an odd moment when he is his old self. He has no friends, his only friend has just gone to universiy. Today when pu...	sharee	4	658	Oct 28, 2015 by pinkchip
	I wish you were here friends.... (Preview) Today is a day when I wish you were all in my home and not just my heart. I would like to bring you into the kitchen and offer you tea and have you sit down and cry with me. However, the tears wouldn't be all about sadness and grief - there has also been real growth here in the midst of pain. I am finding my foo...	LedfootJenny	13	696	Oct 28, 2015 by Mirandac
	Courage to Change 10 -28 (Preview) Good Morning Family Today's daily reading will be brief as I am running late. I stayed up late, watching the Mets blow the first game and now need to catch a train for my weekly trip to NJ.The C2C reading for October 28 speaks about our attitudes and how they can be conveyed to others in what we say and...	hotrod	2	513	Oct 28, 2015 by Debb
	where i am today (Preview) Well. .I read and re read everything people respond to me and i now am quite sure im crazy. . No not really just trying to.make humor. . So a week ago i had called a divirce atty, told my family of org and husb i was done and now im about to watch him go to his first ever Celebrate Recovery meeting and get the name...	Theoceancalls	13	686	Oct 28, 2015 by missmeliss
	XAH in bad shape (Preview) My son called me yesterday at work to tell me that his dad had another binge while he was staying at XAH's house. He said that he got woken up at 3 AM while XAH was playing the drums until 5:30 AM. He then told me that he had to take Uber to school and back home again because the ex was non responsive all day. H...	andromeda	15	782	Oct 28, 2015 by missmeliss
	torn after first relapse post-rehab relapse recovery (Preview) My H got back from rehab about a month ago and had been doing wonderfully- he was going to an outpatient program a few nights a week, AA the other nights, was being really open/honest with me, and really seemed like the best version of himself that I've ever seen. I had been living in a subletted apartment...	kaim011	5	6390	Oct 28, 2015 by Mattie
	Ha! A fine how do you do ( long ) (Preview) I spent 6 overnights and 7 partial days at the hospital with my 89 year old MIL. She didnt have to wait for a nurse to come in when she was hot or cold, needed a blanket on or off, needed to go to the bathroom. She was very forgetful because of some of the drugs she was on so I also acted as her memory and she was gla...	Broken513	1	578	Oct 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Faith ~ 10/28/15 (Preview) Understanding my relationship to God will show me that humility is an essential element of faith, and true humility will remind me to LIVE AND LET LIVE. Faith in a Higher Power can also help me overcome my faults. If I believe in a Power greater than my own, it would be unreasonable for me to behave as tho...	Debb	1	335	Oct 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	Day 3 (Preview) Well its been 3 days since I took the first step towards getting my life back and that is to walk away from my relationship. Today I received the usual few messages from my ex but now hes saying Im been having an affair with his best friend which is totally untrue. Ive managed to stop myself from replying b...	Jeanniejox	4	513	Oct 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	Feeling very stressed (Preview) At the moment, my son is home for a few days and is not very well. He is having a hard time finding a permanent place to live and unfortunately I cannot help financially as his father is ill with cancer and has no insurance, so that is where my money goes at the moment. I guess I just need to focus on the good st...	maire rua	3	2162	Oct 27, 2015 by Debb
	Just recently back from the Surgery table... (Preview) and didn't remember it being as intense. Eye surgery...right eye this time and removal of another cataract. DANG !! weird and total feeling of powerlessness. I like the gayety that comes about with the staff and then the seriousness of the surgery lights out and conversations from faces I canno...	Jerry F	25	878	Oct 27, 2015 by Fairlee
	More good news....but need advice on relapse (Preview) I just wanted to tell everyone that my AH is still doing really great in her recovery. She is inspiring me with her strength, increased energy and renewed ability to fulfill my needs. This is due to her following her own program combined with us working on our marriage. Things that would have been ea...	uva25	8	484	Oct 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hurt and need to vent (Preview) Hi all :) i find myself posting on here for the first time because I need to tell my story and would welcome your advice. This will be a very long post, however I need to let it out. Yesterday I walked away from a 10 month relationship. My ex-partner is a good person but his life is ruled by alcohol. He would...	Jeanniejox	11	686	Oct 27, 2015 by Jeanniejox
	me again (Preview) Feeling emotionally raw. Those of yiu whobhaven rdg and responding know what chaos my life is in. . Let me add some more. My ah has reached out to a pastor friend, come clean and will be going to.his first cel recovry mtg on thursday. Im left feeling ambivelent, anxious, apathetic and scared. Is tjis jus...	Theoceancalls	12	758	Oct 27, 2015 by el-cee
	Thought for Today ~ Rebellion ~ 10/27/15 (Preview) All of us tend to rebel against the unhappiness in our lives; we try to understand; we resent what we cannot understand. Rebelliousness will only heap one frustration on another until we learn to get out from under, let go, and let God take a hand in our affairs. "When a man of good-will is trouble...	Debb	4	663	Oct 27, 2015 by el-cee
	Gonna be a Grandpa again!! (Preview) And this one will be right in town here where I am!! Can't wait! I hope it's a ... baby! That way I doubt i'll be disappointed. Can't start buying diapers yet because I don't know the sex, so I'm going to stockpile wipes. Gonna build a playhouse and a rocking bear. Rocking horses are too cliche. PLUS, Mo...	almostThere	8	533	Oct 27, 2015 by el-cee
	Hope for today oct 27 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the effects growing up in an alcoholic home or living with alcoholism can have on our self esteem. It took me a long while to recognize this in myself because honestly I come from a loving and warm family- and always felt the strength of that. How then...	yanksfan51	2	398	Oct 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	Feeling Guilty (Preview) Hi again.......well Ive got through a day and a half since walking away from my relationship. Today I felt slightly empowered. Now, however, Im feeling guilty, sad, sorry for my ex, no concentration span and so, so exhausted. He contacted me today and wants to speak to me face to face, call me etc etc....	Jeanniejox	4	611	Oct 27, 2015 by Jeanniejox
	progress report (Preview) my ah is trying to be nice to me[cleaning a bit,taking me to doc] he has overcompansated by being verbal constantly and trying to do stuff for me. there are alot of details right now that i have to sort through that he doesnt understand to do so i am doing them so i wont get screwed. i have to rember to stop fal...	YARNCRAZY	4	585	Oct 27, 2015 by Debb
	Signs of a Relapse (Preview) I am curious to know what experience others have with relapse. My AH has been sober for almost 4 months. Though I think he is still sober I often wonder if I will know quickly if he is drinking again. From what I have heard, once they relapse, most Alcoholics relapse and start drinking again very quic...	Jazzie18	17	3494	Oct 26, 2015 by ameyer
	Detachment (Preview) I know that detachment is very important in Al-Anon. I physically detach by leaving the house when my AH drinks, go out with friends, go shopping or just stay in the house in another room reading, watching television, talking on the phone or cleaning and doing laundry. This is easy. However, where...	wifeofalcoholic	6	760	Oct 26, 2015 by Iamhere
	pressure to try again conitunes (Preview) So i have said i want divorce. I feel there is no going back. .Two affairs, one with a fam friend and yrs of dysfunction. I need me back, that said my daughter now blames me saying why cant you give daddy another chance. . Ah keeps reminding me of the good. I feel like im dying inside. . This is why ive tried to s...	Theoceancalls	27	1078	Oct 26, 2015 by tiredtonite
	mornings are the worst (Preview) So now that ive said ENOUGH. ,my ah is being loving, helpful, begging for me to let him proove he will change andalthough i feel strong. . I die a little lore inside. I woke uo today and coukd hear him crying as im sleeping in a different room. I stayed away but its tearing me up. I do love theman but i have give...	Theoceancalls	11	713	Oct 26, 2015 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change Reading for 10-26 (Preview) C2C reading for October 26 discusses the difference between reacting and responding. It points out that many of us.use a smile and kind words, .outwardly but our inner attitudes of anger, resentment and fear are expressed by our tone of voice and subtle actions The reminder suggests that...	hotrod	5	834	Oct 26, 2015 by Debb
	Let's see...Now...Where was I...? (Preview) Oh yeah...Step #1. Admitting that I was powerless over alcohol. Yup.	almostThere	10	647	Oct 26, 2015 by hotrod
	Thought for Today ~ Mediate ~ 10/26/15 (Preview) A period of meditation, everyday, is necessary to spiritual development. I control these "thinking time." If I meditate on what is good in my life, it will increase day by day and crowd out the self-pity and resentment over what I lack and what is hurting me. Suddenly I will find myself able...	Debb	2	580	Oct 26, 2015 by Iamhere
	remember do not engage (Preview) I am basically saying this to remind myself but I hope it helps someone else. Since the beginning of the year or so I have been trying to practice this in my marriage. I am not always successful but I am doing better. I have been counseled & listen on here. All I can say for sure is that it works if you work...	Hoot Nanny	2	477	Oct 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	Busy Spammers (Preview) Good Morning everyone- The "spam" people, with such boring lives, have been here all night posting messages to fill up 4 pages of the Alanon Message Board. I have deleted many and blocked several IPs. John is working on a Mass removal. In the mean time I ask your patience and suggest w...	hotrod	23	835	Oct 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 10 25 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 25 talks about the defect of character that some develop by living with the disease of alcoholism . It is the habit of making "decision and choices passively" The reading points out that by doing this we "Let things happen, rather than taking ac...	hotrod	2	538	Oct 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Examine Ourselves ~ 10/25/15 (Preview) Success with the Al-Anon program demands that we think, honestly and in depth, about our attitudes, evaluate our words and actions. When the attitudes change from hostility to forgiveness, from violence to quiet acceptance, our words and actions follow along. "Freedom has many facets, b...	Debb	2	491	Oct 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	H J& F! (Preview) Today I am happy joyous & free! They used to have this on a door at my old fellowship. It reminds me that I can be happy filled w/ joy & have freedom to do things I never thought possible. I only know how to do the things I was taught. New things scare me but challenge me. I will remember to take chances...	Hoot Nanny	3	763	Oct 24, 2015 by hotrod
	New to this (Preview) Just looking to share my experience and hope to find some friends out there. In 2010 I lost my sister to alcohol. She died of kidney and liver failure. She was my best friend and I miss her terribly. I still am trying to deal with the feelings that I should have done more. Can seem to get over that.	otis	7	617	Oct 24, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	C2C 10-24 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 24 speaks about recovery in Al-Anon being compared to the peeling of an onion. It points out that we peal a layer away at a time often shedding a few tears as we do. Recovery always makes us think of the bark of the tree. The tree bark is necessary to protect the tree. As the tr...	hotrod	3	480	Oct 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Negativity ~ 10/24/15 (Preview) I will examine, with a sharp and honest eye, my OWN motives, for I need to do a lot of straight thinking about my own attitudes and actions. If I am troubled, worried, exasperated or frustrated, do I rationalize the situation and put the blame on someone else? Or can I honestly admit that I may be at fault...	Debb	2	636	Oct 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	To my sponsor now to you all. . help strength (Preview) I'm needing some significant support right now as you can only imagine my Husband is pulling out all tHe stops as He doesn't want me to leave and I've actually drawing a line in tHe sand. He is begging me to go to counseling wHicH I do not want to do I just tHink tHat prolong tHe agony wHicH I've done before H...	Theoceancalls	14	813	Oct 23, 2015 by tiredtonite
	ODAT reading 10 23 (Preview) The ODAT reading for October 23 suggests that we try to look differently at familiar phrases and attempt to understand them in a different light.. The saying :" he is standing in his own light, is used as an example. It points out that if we take the time to focus on ourselves, examine our motive...	hotrod	2	533	Oct 23, 2015 by Debb
	any tips (Preview) To those of you who have left you ah with children in the mix. . Id love some tlc and how to. Im finally at mylimit but getting out is no easy task. . -- Edited by Theoceancalls on Friday 23rd of October 2015 02:59:41 PM	Theoceancalls	1	513	Oct 23, 2015 by Jerry F
	Dealing with Anger Today (Preview) I am so angry at my AH right now I want to scream. I had an unexpected family visit last night. A few people were in town and wanted to get together. My AH had other plans that included him staying home so I didn't push him and I wasn't angry about that at all (in the past I would have been fuming that he would...	KT2015	15	732	Oct 23, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.