Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mom 2 five · mom 2 five

My A has been dry for 3 months; the alcoholic behaviors and attitudes are still here.... I am new to this group (found it just a week or so ago) and new to Al Anon... looking forward to going to a F2F meeting this week. I have learned to "detach" and walk away, find something else to do when he ac...

BobbiLaila · BobbiLaila

Hi, husband has been hospitalized for alcoholic hepatitis, almost died of acute liver failure. I'll skip out on the whole history but he tried AA before and didn't like it, just upset him more. He says he knows he can't ever drink again, and that he has no desire to drink. Therefore he hasn't accepted an...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading for today discusses that we learn in Al-Anon that we do not have to accept unacceptable behavior! We don't have to tolerate violence or abuse and we have choices that perhaps were not readily recognizable before recovery. We can set limits that offer us guidelines without trying to con...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and to be an old timer watching newcomers work it and create miracles in their lives is a gift from HP. At last nights Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG the oriental family who have been attending for about a month came back. We used the Paths To Recovery second step section...read and then share an...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I dont post often but I read everyday. The posts here have helped me tremendously... My AH has been "trying" to work his program since April (10 months). He suffered one relapse in August and I believe a second in October (he nevered admitted to it). I have been trying to detach as much an...

andromeda · andromeda

I wanted to explore the topic of being in acceptance of others, people whom you are in romantic relationships or friendships with, and knowing what your needs are within the context of that relationship. It's something I struggle with. I have learned to accept people for who they are and I accept my...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C discusses step 4 - "making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves" and the fact that this step can help us to finally see that we are in a state of sickness just as much as the alcoholic in our lives may be. The writer notes that they were struck by the obsessive way t...

joker · joker

Update on my home situation since my last post. ABF sobered up and went back to work for 4 days. I did share with him what he had done to me while drunk-grabbing me and what I intend to do if this happens again. I was very clear that if he grabs me again while drunk, there will be no further talk, the police will...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Haven't written in awhile but pop in and read posts to keep me going. I've been chugging along in my life, dealing with the good stretches and then empty promises, one step forward, two steps back. Taking care of my kids, doing my work, trying to detach like crazy in my marriage. Sometimes it works. I...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I heard last night that a member from my 'other' fellowship lost her battle with the disease over the weekend. She was 50 years old, and leaves behind a child (son), a loving and supportive home group, a loving family and many who don't understand. She'd been in the program and sober for 10+ years. She...

Katsfree · Katsfree

Hello all - I vaguely remember this site from about 8 yrs ago, when my H's drinking was bothering me... but it wasn't my time then :) I just wanted to say thank you for the message board and meetings here online! What a blessing to have something to take "on the road". I have attended 2 of the onl...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I am different. I go against the norm and my brilliant ideas and understanding of things is too advanced for others to grasp. I tell the truth and people aren't ready for that! People are so dumb. I am glad I am so much smarter than everyone else. It is not at all that I have problems fitting into groups and...

little_phoenix · little_phoenix

I used to get really angry when my husband would drink.. and we got into a lot of fights. Looking back at it, I can't help it's been all my fault and if only I didn't say anything, we would still be together. His drinking lately has been under control and he decided to break up with me because of our differe...

Jerry F · Jerry F

to the family and Mahalo (thanks) for the honest and open share. I've been around a bit and appreciate loving shares...that was a loving share. Please keep coming back often. ((((hugs))))

Katsfree · Katsfree

Hello MIP I was thinking about this.. faith vs fear. Today I know I cant be in both at the same time. I know I have to believe in both in order for them to work in my life. For so many years I was driven by fear, coped in fear, lived in fear. It kept me stuck in quicksand, sinking. It made false appearances seem so...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading opens up reminding us about daily practice of the Al-Anon program. It helps us become more tolerant of others and keeps us focused on ourselves. The writer discusses how many of the defects he/she saw in others before the program came to be common of themselves in their inventory st...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

whoooo it will be official in 6mths. new boyfriend is going to take me then for a cruise to celebrate my b-day and official end of divorce Soon to be XAH now in rehab and will be served there. his sister is helping to manage everything thank g-d i guess this is when HP has decided would be the time and he has al...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Every time I go by my neighbor place what is left of it I experience mixed emotions. Basically sadness but gratitude at the same time. It makes me sick to my stomach to see the devastation of loss especially of their home. The gratitude is out of me not having to go through this myself. I say a prayer every t...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I will admit it, I am struggling with my job right now. I can say this freely, because I see other posts with folks who are not grooving at their place of employment either. I have been here for a LONG time (15 years last year). I have done just about every job and I have grown up with this company. From 11...

KathRN · KathRN

I've been up since 5:30 this morning listening to podcasts and interviews on "The addicts Mom" website. I feel very empowered and for the first time, feel like I know what I need to do, and will be able to stick to it! I was in the middle of writing my daughter a letter, and she called. She asked...

el-cee · el-cee

I kind of am!! I know it sounds ridiculous. Its such a painful, taker this disease. I am grateful though. If this disease hadn't taken me to my own 'bottom' I would never have saught help in this wonderful fellowship and I would still be one of the walking dead. Living without living. Walking around with...

Rachel Blue · Rachel Blue

How normal is it for a 44 year old man to require a walker after 5 days in detox?? I am horrified. he fell yesterday, luckily onto a mattress... but the physio gave him a walker. What??? Is this common? I feel shocked. and horrified. This is a guy who is big and strong. He's using a walker. I can't ev...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The Courage to Change reading for today discusses how limited our vision is and how we can become fixated on only the outcomes 'we' can imagine. This is often what drives us to seek to believe in a power greater than ourselves, a higher power, who is not limited by the same logic. The author points out t...

vintagebel · vintagebel

Well I haven't been on here for a while now. I married my AH three months ago (we've been together two years). He had been going really well - doing daily meetings, looking healthy & our relationship was great. Fast forward three months. He's back to drinking every day now, hiding his "stash&...

Bettina2 · Bettina2

Hi everyone. Some may still remember me and I know some won't. Been such a busy year. Went back to school to study Alcohol and drug counseling, will graduate soon. Right now doing my internship at the US Vets at March AFB in sunny California. But I never forget this board and the great people on it. Hope to...

KT2015 · KT2015

So I had a rough weekend with AH. It was pretty rough. We got into a disagreement I told him how I felt about something and he hasn't been able to accept what I said. So he's been quite the bear. He's withdrawn all physical affection, his drinking increased dramatically in the last couple of days and h...

Lyne · Lyne

There is always more to learn and practice. I understand the slogan "keep coming back." If I am having trouble with my A, it doesn't feel earth shattering anymore. I have detached with love and more importantly, whatever the future holds for us, I have HP and I will be OK. But with my brot...

el-cee · el-cee

Happy Valentine's day. It's a good day to for 'love' and what it is. It seems to mean different things to different people. Living with alcoholism distorted my perception of love. I believed love was needing a person and being needed. I think my idea of love was co dependency. Enabling was another fe...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Not sure how to feel about getting canned from a job I hated. Was mostly that they couldn't afford to keep me. Either way, it is reminiscent of being in a relationship with a drunk and feeling rejected by someone you hate anyhow. Being unemployed is scary. Very anxious. Something will work out.

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone-- Today's reading is about how difficult and dangerous it can be to get caught up in your own head with obsessive thoughts. There can be a fearfulness connected with too much thinking; I have definitely caught myself going down that path and prayed 'oh no please help me get out o...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Prayers please for the family who lost their trailer home this morning. Grease fire. Lost everything. I know it is safe to post this here. Didn't want to post it on Facebook. Small town.

joker · joker

I have not shared that the home situation is getting worse than said. He has grabbed me and has left bruises on my arms. He again grabbed me on the weekend and so far there is no bruises on me today (Sunday). I am near the end of my rope where I will call the police and have him charged for assault. Usually he wi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

"Expectations lead to big let downs, because in those expectations are only what you think you know. Expectancy allows God to move in unthinkable ways." ~~~~ Loving on purpose dot com The above quote was in my daily feed this morning, and it gave me reason to pause. I believe it's because...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

OK I texted my a brother that I landed a job and he congratulates me which is nice. He then tells me (insert sad story here). In this instance he on the job and is sitting waiting in a car in a temperature in the single digits. OK this is where maybe I could have just detached by saying sorry to hear that, hope i...

Lyne · Lyne

Thanks for your help yesterday. In the afternoon my A and I spent some time with my extended family. My A got blamed for doing something inappropriate, not horrible, not due to alcohol, and now she is completely depressed as my sister-in-law went berserk in front of others. I have learned since th...

Thorn · Thorn

Hi all. Just getting this off my chest. My AH (sober many years but no program so the "isms" abound) retired from a very high stress job 2 years ago and we moved South for hopefully a financial and stress- reducing coast into our retirement years. As we have a tendency to do as alcoholics and c...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays c2c challenges the idea that we "work" the al-anon program as we so often say and instead suggests that what we do is "practice" it in much the same way learning a foreign language requires us to actually practice what we have learned through conversation with others who...

marniep222 · marniep222

My qualifier hit me in the face with this one yesterday. And I've been unable to understand how two people can love each other so much, yet be so bad for each other. That we lose ourselves in each other and it continues to spiral out of control. Is the answer really just let go - and maybe someday we can fin...

joker · joker

I just read the messages on abuse on the message board here and I am in a violent situation. I said to him very clearly, this is the last and final time you will ever grab me again. I said I will call the police and have you charged with domestic violence, and you will be kept away from here. I did not argue with...

Rosemeyer · Rosemeyer

My soon-to-be-X is (was) a pastor. He had a "girlfriend" stay at our house for two and a half weeks while I was gone taking care of my 93 year old mother. He told the church that I was still there, and when the truth came out, he was put on leave. He, naturally, totally blames me, not only for &q...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm so over it at the moment. I swear I really don't understand people at times. Isn't there a song that says why you gotta be so mean? I think in some ways I am so cynical and other ways I'm so totally naïve. I haven't decided where I fit at times .. I do not know how to play the game whatever that is .. it's...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

In October of 2007 I had a football size mass removed with my right ovary, it was hell and of course my AH at the time was none supportive. I went to all my appointments before and after alone and since my Mom had stage 4 ovarian cancer I was a wreck. Now obviously healed and been healthy and fine since then. N...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning,, the Courage to Change reading for today, February 11 speaks about Tradition Five. It states that this tradition helps us to set three goals for ourselves.: One is to work the steps for myself;--- have compassion for the alcoholic;-- and to have compassion for those who come to Alano...

canig70 · canig70

I have a child who doen't believe or think like me. I still meed to love her. She is A product of my drinking.

Lyne · Lyne

Hi-So today is a day to celebrate love and appreciation of loved ones. That is easy for me to do except with my A. I did buy a generic card and some scratch offs. For me I see several presents waiting. I tell my A I am no longer "in love" with her. I love her as a human being, a family member, and...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Do you know I've never had a valentines day card or gift or any of that. I'm not feeling miserable about it or anything; don't worry lol...just reflective. It used to really upset me. When I was younger I guess I imagined all sorts of romantic futures and then with the guys I have been with, well, I bought p...

joker · joker

I have had a slip in my behavior again. I guess I am human and I am learning. The abf started drinking Friday afternoon after doing errands. I did not get his beer. He went and got it himself. I should have said you can not drink here. I did not. I instead drank with him and he drank non stop till 4 am this morni...

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

Hi All, This is my first time starting a new thread since joining this board - so for background, my original thread is called "Please Help". Anyways, this passed summer - I accidentally became pregnant with my exAF (not ex at the time). Due to my physical illness and his addiction - I deci...

Debb · Debb

Al-Anon tries to help us learn to clear the debris of our mistakes, to help us to learn to recognize how we have contributed to the destruction of our home life. The Alcoholic in our lives did not do all the damage in the household, when we react to their poor conduct by screaming and getting upset we add t...

joker · joker

I have had a slip in my behavior again. I guess I am human and I am learning. The abf started drinking Friday afternoon after doing errands. I did not get his beer. He went and got it himself. I should have said you can not drink here. I did not. I instead drank with him and he drank non stop till 4 am this morni...

manas · manas

My A is in rehab and likely to be out in a month's time. The A did not have a job and I was paying (way too much) for the work my A used to do at home (cooking, cleaning, groceries etc). I realize I was an enabler. I'm taking it one day at a time, but I can't help thoughts about how I will be able to refuse money (of co...

Weeks7304 · Weeks7304

First of all, I am rather new to all of this. Four weeks today as a matter of fact. My Wife returned home from in patient treatment, 28 day program on Friday. She did amazing while completing the program. I found this board and the chat board of this group and that has helped a lot. I knew the transition back...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just want to share that tomorrow being Valentine's Day & my dad's 76th birthday, I am actually feeling pretty good this year. I am on here today because of the holiday on Monday & the fact that this library computer will not be available tomorrow. I guess I don't have to explain why I am here ever...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading starts by suggest that confusion can be a gift from God. The writer states that often he/she was not truly ready to take action when looking back at times he/she felt desperate for an immediate solution. When fully ready, the information necessary was there for the taking. The writ...

andromeda · andromeda

I was so excited. Number 1 I'm finally over this flu that hit me earlier in the week and I feel like a human again. Number 2, I got a new job and I start on March 1st! This new job pays about 20% more than what I was making before but it's only a 9 mile drive instead of a 32 mile drive. That, in effect, saves me a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C likens us al-anoners to snowflakes, pointing out that although we come together to face similar common problems, we are all unique. It goes on to discuss how for many of us, comparing ourselves to other people has been a harmful habit that has left us feeling inadequate, and that we can eve...

lookingup · lookingup

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only,and not tackle my whole life problemat once. I can do something for twelve hoursthat would appall me if I felt that I had tokeep it up for a lifetime. ????????????,explain,this seems to be a tough one.i make mountains out of molehills . Thanks L...

Pushka · Pushka

I have a couple of thoughts tonight that have been weighing on my heart. LOL .. if I can keep them straight I'm just going to do two separate posts. I'm looking for ESH on how to figure out what is guilt and what is shame. What does guilt feel like? What does shame feel like? What is the difference? No I d...

LetGoLetGod · LetGoLetGod

My wife and I both are in a pretty desperate situation with her son (my stepson) and our marriage. Our son's father whom he sees every other week is a former drug addict. My wife's parents were not alcoholic growing up though they were very unhealthy and no doubt there was alcoholism somewhere. My pare...

KT2015 · KT2015

Went out for dinner with friends tonight. AH is doing what alcoholics do. Drinking too much then trying to start a fight with me when we get home. Sat back and let me deal with the bill at dinner then angry because he feels I paid too much and it was my fault the last time too you know that we paid too much for...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Living with a dry drunk - help (Preview) My A has been dry for 3 months; the alcoholic behaviors and attitudes are still here.... I am new to this group (found it just a week or so ago) and new to Al Anon... looking forward to going to a F2F meeting this week. I have learned to "detach" and walk away, find something else to do when he ac...	mom 2 five	1	530	Feb 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	alcoholic hepatitis (Preview) Hi, husband has been hospitalized for alcoholic hepatitis, almost died of acute liver failure. I'll skip out on the whole history but he tried AA before and didn't like it, just upset him more. He says he knows he can't ever drink again, and that he has no desire to drink. Therefore he hasn't accepted an...	BobbiLaila	9	558	Feb 20, 2016 by Fairlee
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/20/16 (Preview) The reading for today discusses that we learn in Al-Anon that we do not have to accept unacceptable behavior! We don't have to tolerate violence or abuse and we have choices that perhaps were not readily recognizable before recovery. We can set limits that offer us guidelines without trying to con...	Iamhere	2	524	Feb 20, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	This works when we work it.... (Preview) and to be an old timer watching newcomers work it and create miracles in their lives is a gift from HP. At last nights Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG the oriental family who have been attending for about a month came back. We used the Paths To Recovery second step section...read and then share an...	Jerry F	4	671	Feb 20, 2016 by Lyne
	I'm just...... (Preview) I dont post often but I read everyday. The posts here have helped me tremendously... My AH has been "trying" to work his program since April (10 months). He suffered one relapse in August and I believe a second in October (he nevered admitted to it). I have been trying to detach as much an...	EarlyBird	7	543	Feb 20, 2016 by missmeliss
	Needs, acceptance, and loving yourself (Preview) I wanted to explore the topic of being in acceptance of others, people whom you are in romantic relationships or friendships with, and knowing what your needs are within the context of that relationship. It's something I struggle with. I have learned to accept people for who they are and I accept my...	andromeda	13	809	Feb 20, 2016 by blindsided
	Courage To Change 19/2/16 (Preview) Today's C2C discusses step 4 - "making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves" and the fact that this step can help us to finally see that we are in a state of sickness just as much as the alcoholic in our lives may be. The writer notes that they were struck by the obsessive way t...	missmeliss	1	496	Feb 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	update on my life (Preview) Update on my home situation since my last post. ABF sobered up and went back to work for 4 days. I did share with him what he had done to me while drunk-grabbing me and what I intend to do if this happens again. I was very clear that if he grabs me again while drunk, there will be no further talk, the police will...	joker	5	561	Feb 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why do I feel disloyal? (Preview) Haven't written in awhile but pop in and read posts to keep me going. I've been chugging along in my life, dealing with the good stretches and then empty promises, one step forward, two steps back. Taking care of my kids, doing my work, trying to detach like crazy in my marriage. Sometimes it works. I...	newleaf66	14	704	Feb 19, 2016 by Bettina2
	The Disease Won Again.... (Preview) I heard last night that a member from my 'other' fellowship lost her battle with the disease over the weekend. She was 50 years old, and leaves behind a child (son), a loving and supportive home group, a loving family and many who don't understand. She'd been in the program and sober for 10+ years. She...	Iamhere	20	778	Feb 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Wow, what a place! (Preview) Hello all - I vaguely remember this site from about 8 yrs ago, when my H's drinking was bothering me... but it wasn't my time then :) I just wanted to say thank you for the message board and meetings here online! What a blessing to have something to take "on the road". I have attended 2 of the onl...	Katsfree	7	615	Feb 19, 2016 by el-cee
	Inner dialog of a dry drunk (Preview) I am different. I go against the norm and my brilliant ideas and understanding of things is too advanced for others to grasp. I tell the truth and people aren't ready for that! People are so dumb. I am glad I am so much smarter than everyone else. It is not at all that I have problems fitting into groups and...	pinkchip	14	870	Feb 19, 2016 by el-cee
	down in the dumps (Preview) I used to get really angry when my husband would drink.. and we got into a lot of fights. Looking back at it, I can't help it's been all my fault and if only I didn't say anything, we would still be together. His drinking lately has been under control and he decided to break up with me because of our differe...	little_phoenix	6	637	Feb 18, 2016 by Bettina2
	Welcome Cynthia MC (Preview) to the family and Mahalo (thanks) for the honest and open share. I've been around a bit and appreciate loving shares...that was a loving share. Please keep coming back often. ((((hugs))))	Jerry F	2	480	Feb 18, 2016 by Jerry F
	Faith vs Fear (Preview) Hello MIP I was thinking about this.. faith vs fear. Today I know I cant be in both at the same time. I know I have to believe in both in order for them to work in my life. For so many years I was driven by fear, coped in fear, lived in fear. It kept me stuck in quicksand, sinking. It made false appearances seem so...	Katsfree	2	718	Feb 18, 2016 by Katsfree
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/18/16 (Preview) Today's reading opens up reminding us about daily practice of the Al-Anon program. It helps us become more tolerant of others and keeps us focused on ourselves. The writer discusses how many of the defects he/she saw in others before the program came to be common of themselves in their inventory st...	Iamhere	0	460	Feb 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Officially Filed for Divorce!!! (Preview) whoooo it will be official in 6mths. new boyfriend is going to take me then for a cruise to celebrate my b-day and official end of divorce Soon to be XAH now in rehab and will be served there. his sister is helping to manage everything thank g-d i guess this is when HP has decided would be the time and he has al...	YARNCRAZY	3	487	Feb 18, 2016 by Inga
	gratitude & sadness (Preview) Every time I go by my neighbor place what is left of it I experience mixed emotions. Basically sadness but gratitude at the same time. It makes me sick to my stomach to see the devastation of loss especially of their home. The gratitude is out of me not having to go through this myself. I say a prayer every t...	Hoot Nanny	2	486	Feb 18, 2016 by Lyne
	The Job at Hand (Preview) I will admit it, I am struggling with my job right now. I can say this freely, because I see other posts with folks who are not grooving at their place of employment either. I have been here for a LONG time (15 years last year). I have done just about every job and I have grown up with this company. From 11...	Bethany66	2	573	Feb 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Arguement with my daughter....again! Warning, VENTING (Preview) I've been up since 5:30 this morning listening to podcasts and interviews on "The addicts Mom" website. I feel very empowered and for the first time, feel like I know what I need to do, and will be able to stick to it! I was in the middle of writing my daughter a letter, and she called. She asked...	KathRN	7	784	Feb 17, 2016 by Path to Serenity
	Are you grateful for alcoholism? (Preview) I kind of am!! I know it sounds ridiculous. Its such a painful, taker this disease. I am grateful though. If this disease hadn't taken me to my own 'bottom' I would never have saught help in this wonderful fellowship and I would still be one of the walking dead. Living without living. Walking around with...	el-cee	21	937	Feb 17, 2016 by Fairlee
	The shakes - what the heck?? (Preview) How normal is it for a 44 year old man to require a walker after 5 days in detox?? I am horrified. he fell yesterday, luckily onto a mattress... but the physio gave him a walker. What??? Is this common? I feel shocked. and horrified. This is a guy who is big and strong. He's using a walker. I can't ev...	Rachel Blue	9	696	Feb 17, 2016 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/17/2016 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for today discusses how limited our vision is and how we can become fixated on only the outcomes 'we' can imagine. This is often what drives us to seek to believe in a power greater than ourselves, a higher power, who is not limited by the same logic. The author points out t...	Iamhere	0	501	Feb 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Three Months Married - My "Beloved" AH (Preview) Well I haven't been on here for a while now. I married my AH three months ago (we've been together two years). He had been going really well - doing daily meetings, looking healthy & our relationship was great. Fast forward three months. He's back to drinking every day now, hiding his "stash&...	vintagebel	2	603	Feb 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	You are always on my mind (Preview) Hi everyone. Some may still remember me and I know some won't. Been such a busy year. Went back to school to study Alcohol and drug counseling, will graduate soon. Right now doing my internship at the US Vets at March AFB in sunny California. But I never forget this board and the great people on it. Hope to...	Bettina2	8	652	Feb 16, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Progress coming in waves I guess (Preview) So I had a rough weekend with AH. It was pretty rough. We got into a disagreement I told him how I felt about something and he hasn't been able to accept what I said. So he's been quite the bear. He's withdrawn all physical affection, his drinking increased dramatically in the last couple of days and h...	KT2015	5	704	Feb 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Coping skills interesting (Preview) There is always more to learn and practice. I understand the slogan "keep coming back." If I am having trouble with my A, it doesn't feel earth shattering anymore. I have detached with love and more importantly, whatever the future holds for us, I have HP and I will be OK. But with my brot...	Lyne	2	608	Feb 16, 2016 by Bettina2
	Love, what is it? (Preview) Happy Valentine's day. It's a good day to for 'love' and what it is. It seems to mean different things to different people. Living with alcoholism distorted my perception of love. I believed love was needing a person and being needed. I think my idea of love was co dependency. Enabling was another fe...	el-cee	9	792	Feb 16, 2016 by Bettina2
	Fired/Laid off ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Not sure how to feel about getting canned from a job I hated. Was mostly that they couldn't afford to keep me. Either way, it is reminiscent of being in a relationship with a drunk and feeling rejected by someone you hate anyhow. Being unemployed is scary. Very anxious. Something will work out.	pinkchip	75	1894	Feb 16, 2016 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today. Feb 16 (Preview) Good morning everyone-- Today's reading is about how difficult and dangerous it can be to get caught up in your own head with obsessive thoughts. There can be a fearfulness connected with too much thinking; I have definitely caught myself going down that path and prayed 'oh no please help me get out o...	yanksfan51	1	527	Feb 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	my neighbors house caught on fire (Preview) Prayers please for the family who lost their trailer home this morning. Grease fire. Lost everything. I know it is safe to post this here. Didn't want to post it on Facebook. Small town.	Hoot Nanny	3	344	Feb 16, 2016 by milkwood
	Need to be honest (Preview) I have not shared that the home situation is getting worse than said. He has grabbed me and has left bruises on my arms. He again grabbed me on the weekend and so far there is no bruises on me today (Sunday). I am near the end of my rope where I will call the police and have him charged for assault. Usually he wi...	joker	8	780	Feb 16, 2016 by Bettina2
	Expectations Quote in my Feed This AM.... (Preview) "Expectations lead to big let downs, because in those expectations are only what you think you know. Expectancy allows God to move in unthinkable ways." ~~~~ Loving on purpose dot com The above quote was in my daily feed this morning, and it gave me reason to pause. I believe it's because...	Iamhere	4	767	Feb 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Was Just Trying to Be Nice (Preview) OK I texted my a brother that I landed a job and he congratulates me which is nice. He then tells me (insert sad story here). In this instance he on the job and is sitting waiting in a car in a temperature in the single digits. OK this is where maybe I could have just detached by saying sorry to hear that, hope i...	tiredtonite	3	611	Feb 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Mind my own business (Preview) Thanks for your help yesterday. In the afternoon my A and I spent some time with my extended family. My A got blamed for doing something inappropriate, not horrible, not due to alcohol, and now she is completely depressed as my sister-in-law went berserk in front of others. I have learned since th...	Lyne	2	484	Feb 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Need to vent a quick sec (Preview) Hi all. Just getting this off my chest. My AH (sober many years but no program so the "isms" abound) retired from a very high stress job 2 years ago and we moved South for hopefully a financial and stress- reducing coast into our retirement years. As we have a tendency to do as alcoholics and c...	Thorn	13	751	Feb 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 15/2 (Preview) Todays c2c challenges the idea that we "work" the al-anon program as we so often say and instead suggests that what we do is "practice" it in much the same way learning a foreign language requires us to actually practice what we have learned through conversation with others who...	missmeliss	2	601	Feb 15, 2016 by Mirandac
	Enabling and Co-Dependence (Preview) My qualifier hit me in the face with this one yesterday. And I've been unable to understand how two people can love each other so much, yet be so bad for each other. That we lose ourselves in each other and it continues to spiral out of control. Is the answer really just let go - and maybe someday we can fin...	marniep222	5	677	Feb 15, 2016 by marniep222
	seeing the light again (Preview) I just read the messages on abuse on the message board here and I am in a violent situation. I said to him very clearly, this is the last and final time you will ever grab me again. I said I will call the police and have you charged with domestic violence, and you will be kept away from here. I did not argue with...	joker	10	668	Feb 15, 2016 by el-cee
	Sundays are the most difficult (Preview) My soon-to-be-X is (was) a pastor. He had a "girlfriend" stay at our house for two and a half weeks while I was gone taking care of my 93 year old mother. He told the church that I was still there, and when the truth came out, he was put on leave. He, naturally, totally blames me, not only for &q...	Rosemeyer	7	686	Feb 14, 2016 by Jerry F
	Drama and Trauma (Preview) I'm so over it at the moment. I swear I really don't understand people at times. Isn't there a song that says why you gotta be so mean? I think in some ways I am so cynical and other ways I'm so totally naïve. I haven't decided where I fit at times .. I do not know how to play the game whatever that is .. it's...	SerenityRUS	4	774	Feb 14, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Having flashbacks!!! (Preview) In October of 2007 I had a football size mass removed with my right ovary, it was hell and of course my AH at the time was none supportive. I went to all my appointments before and after alone and since my Mom had stage 4 ovarian cancer I was a wreck. Now obviously healed and been healthy and fine since then. N...	Breakingfree	7	633	Feb 14, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Courage to Change 2-11-2016 (Preview) Good Morning,, the Courage to Change reading for today, February 11 speaks about Tradition Five. It states that this tradition helps us to set three goals for ourselves.: One is to work the steps for myself;--- have compassion for the alcoholic;-- and to have compassion for those who come to Alano...	hotrod	3	514	Feb 14, 2016 by Debb
	Staying in the moment! (Preview) I have a child who doen't believe or think like me. I still meed to love her. She is A product of my drinking.	canig70	2	401	Feb 14, 2016 by Debb
	Valentine's Day with my A (Preview) Hi-So today is a day to celebrate love and appreciation of loved ones. That is easy for me to do except with my A. I did buy a generic card and some scratch offs. For me I see several presents waiting. I tell my A I am no longer "in love" with her. I love her as a human being, a family member, and...	Lyne	5	532	Feb 14, 2016 by Thorn
	Different this year. (Preview) Do you know I've never had a valentines day card or gift or any of that. I'm not feeling miserable about it or anything; don't worry lol...just reflective. It used to really upset me. When I was younger I guess I imagined all sorts of romantic futures and then with the guys I have been with, well, I bought p...	missmeliss	7	645	Feb 14, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	slipped up (Preview) I have had a slip in my behavior again. I guess I am human and I am learning. The abf started drinking Friday afternoon after doing errands. I did not get his beer. He went and got it himself. I should have said you can not drink here. I did not. I instead drank with him and he drank non stop till 4 am this morni...	joker	4	575	Feb 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Difficult Day + Email from ExAF (Preview) Hi All, This is my first time starting a new thread since joining this board - so for background, my original thread is called "Please Help". Anyways, this passed summer - I accidentally became pregnant with my exAF (not ex at the time). Due to my physical illness and his addiction - I deci...	Jaclyn	30	972	Feb 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	One Day At A Time - Clearing The Debris - 2-13-16 (Preview) Al-Anon tries to help us learn to clear the debris of our mistakes, to help us to learn to recognize how we have contributed to the destruction of our home life. The Alcoholic in our lives did not do all the damage in the household, when we react to their poor conduct by screaming and getting upset we add t...	Debb	8	503	Feb 14, 2016 by Debb
	slipped up (Preview) I have had a slip in my behavior again. I guess I am human and I am learning. The abf started drinking Friday afternoon after doing errands. I did not get his beer. He went and got it himself. I should have said you can not drink here. I did not. I instead drank with him and he drank non stop till 4 am this morni...	joker	0	446	Feb 14, 2016 by joker
	How to refuse money to A (Preview) My A is in rehab and likely to be out in a month's time. The A did not have a job and I was paying (way too much) for the work my A used to do at home (cooking, cleaning, groceries etc). I realize I was an enabler. I'm taking it one day at a time, but I can't help thoughts about how I will be able to refuse money (of co...	manas	5	587	Feb 14, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Following InPatient Treatment (Preview) First of all, I am rather new to all of this. Four weeks today as a matter of fact. My Wife returned home from in patient treatment, 28 day program on Friday. She did amazing while completing the program. I found this board and the chat board of this group and that has helped a lot. I knew the transition back...	Weeks7304	20	1015	Feb 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Valentine's Day & DAD (Preview) Just want to share that tomorrow being Valentine's Day & my dad's 76th birthday, I am actually feeling pretty good this year. I am on here today because of the holiday on Monday & the fact that this library computer will not be available tomorrow. I guess I don't have to explain why I am here ever...	Hoot Nanny	5	518	Feb 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/14/16 (Preview) Today's reading starts by suggest that confusion can be a gift from God. The writer states that often he/she was not truly ready to take action when looking back at times he/she felt desperate for an immediate solution. When fully ready, the information necessary was there for the taking. The writ...	Iamhere	0	5403	Feb 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	You win some, you lose some (Preview) I was so excited. Number 1 I'm finally over this flu that hit me earlier in the week and I feel like a human again. Number 2, I got a new job and I start on March 1st! This new job pays about 20% more than what I was making before but it's only a 9 mile drive instead of a 32 mile drive. That, in effect, saves me a...	andromeda	9	743	Feb 13, 2016 by andromeda
	Courage To Change 13/2/16 (Preview) Today's C2C likens us al-anoners to snowflakes, pointing out that although we come together to face similar common problems, we are all unique. It goes on to discuss how for many of us, comparing ourselves to other people has been a harmful habit that has left us feeling inadequate, and that we can eve...	missmeliss	2	762	Feb 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Just for today saying I been understand wrong,plz need help with this one (Preview) Just for today, I will try to live through this day only,and not tackle my whole life problemat once. I can do something for twelve hoursthat would appall me if I felt that I had tokeep it up for a lifetime. ????????????,explain,this seems to be a tough one.i make mountains out of molehills . Thanks L...	lookingup	4	571	Feb 13, 2016 by Freetime
	Shame Vs. Guilt (Preview) I have a couple of thoughts tonight that have been weighing on my heart. LOL .. if I can keep them straight I'm just going to do two separate posts. I'm looking for ESH on how to figure out what is guilt and what is shame. What does guilt feel like? What does shame feel like? What is the difference? No I d...	Pushka	16	4230	Feb 13, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Are my wife and I in the right place? (Preview) My wife and I both are in a pretty desperate situation with her son (my stepson) and our marriage. Our son's father whom he sees every other week is a former drug addict. My wife's parents were not alcoholic growing up though they were very unhealthy and no doubt there was alcoholism somewhere. My pare...	LetGoLetGod	8	706	Feb 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Need to vent (Preview) Went out for dinner with friends tonight. AH is doing what alcoholics do. Drinking too much then trying to start a fight with me when we get home. Sat back and let me deal with the bill at dinner then angry because he feels I paid too much and it was my fault the last time too you know that we paid too much for...	KT2015	2	556	Feb 12, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.