The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am writing this post to tell people with help from people you will be able to make it in life, you can't make it by your self. You need to call or go online with people. You need people to worry about you, show that they care. When you are hurting that is the one time that is very important to be able to reach out to people. I usually reached for a knife, because it felt so much better. I would have the blood come out and then i would foucs on the blood and the hurting of the arm to worry what was going on. At least yesterday and wednesday I didn't reach for the knife. I am a cutter i don't make deep cuts, but it doesn't many i am still a cutter. I still have marks on my arm, it doesn't matter how deep i cut i did. But wed and yesterday I decided to do other outlets. I wanted not to cut, i can't say i didn't think about it. I wanted to cut so bad yesterday. But the thing is i didn't. I had thoughts about it and they get very strong at times. So I got my support system going. It hard right now my husband has not done any herion because he is supposed to be going to the doctor with me, if he didn't go he would be getting the herion. So I hang in there, I am not sure, but i do know things seem to be working. FOr me I am posting to help other people.
__________________
Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
I spoke with you yesterday regarding your situation. I noticed you kept thanking me for things. I want to remind you, you are worth so much more that what you are going through right now. You also have a great deal of strength showing through. As your world has fell to bits in the last few days, you are still thinking about other people, that shows what type of caring person you are.
As for the knife, you no longer have to think about that. Make a substitute for it. When you want to cut, come in here, let your friends help to take that feeling away for good.
You were here for me when I was really low, and I am here for you always, anytime, night or day.
You make this room and board a more special place, because you are a very special person.
You are so very right. We cannot make it without each other. I have tried in the past to make it on my own, but I didn't get very far.
When I first found Alanon, I didn't understand how it worked. I was a little afraid to reach out to someone else, afraid of being rejected by yet another person. As time went by, I realized what a glorious gift we have been given with the fellowship in Alanon and here in MIP. Strange that the very times we need someone else is the very time we hesitate to call out,to admit it.
Nycbt, am so glad you are here, and proud of you to have your support system together. That is the progress we hear so much about. You now have the ability to seek other outlets for your pain, and you can do this. Your posting does help others so much, it helps me to remember how far I have come with help from you and others.
