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Hi! I haven't posted in a little while because I have been at a standstill. But I did two baby steps today that work toward the wholer me.
1. I opened savings accounts for both my daughters. I have talked about doing this since they were babies. I always dropped coins in a jar that took years to fill. My H would take money out and not understand why I got upset. I hid the jar in the closet. I always said I would put the money in a savings account. Several months ago, I cleaned the closet and found that jar with only a third of the coins left. All the two dollar bills and silver dollars I put in there were gone. Typically, he denied everything. Yesterday I cleaned my daughter's dresser drawer and noticed all the bills in her money purse were gone. Only two rolls of quarters remained. He denied anything. Later that night, I found only one roll of quarters in her purse. He sad that he had borrowed the roll several days ago. We started to argue, and he even accused me of taking the money, but I let it go, I mean, what can I do about it? The funny thing was that I told both my daughters to stash thier real money somewhere else and put spending money in thier sock drawers. So this morning I took thier real money to the bank and gave them thier own accounts. Now I can transfer money straight into the accounts and it will just sit and build up, while I am the only one with access to them
2. I got my drivers permit ! I walked to the DMV from the bank with my headphones on and it was nice. The really awful thing was that I had to get a new ID picture and OMG!!! I have changed alot in the last three years. My other pic was very cute if I do say so myself. I made a point today of not doing my hair or make-up because I wanted to say "This is not a big deal" but I was still morbidly shocked when I saw that picture. I look just like my mother who was always worn down and frumpy. My first thought was "I can't blame him for drinking!!" Which was, of course, tinged with humor. My cheeks are red and flushed, my double chin is sticking out, my hair is pulled back and my glasses are on! I look like Pat from SNL LOL! Anytime I want to giggle I'm going to pull out this picture. Hopefully it will inspire me to get my liscence because they take a new pic on that day and I really can't imagine pulling this god awful ID out whenever anyone asks for it!
So, they are two baby steps. I don't have to worry about H taking the kids hard earned allowance, and if we go out and he gets plowed, I can legally drive us home!
Thanks for listening everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jamie
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I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
Congratulations, Jamie! I resorted to buying a combination safe to put my pocketbook, keys, and the money from my three kids' piggybanks. My AH figured since he was the one who gave them the money, he should be able to take it whenever he wanted.
I didn't get my driver's license until quite late (age 37) and it makes an enormous difference. So many times we would be at some functuion and I would want to go home but be stuck - no way to leave. If you can drive, you can just go - I know my A would always be able to find a ride home.
Congratulations, Jamie! I resorted to buying a combination safe to put my pocketbook, keys, and the money from my three kids' piggybanks. My AH figured since he was the one who gave them the money, he should be able to take it whenever he wanted.
Linda
Yes, that was always his reasoning for emptying the resources. Funny, it didn't changed after I started working. We would get in the squabbles over who paid for what. Never ammounted to any satisfaction.
I was in a good mood earlier but then he came home and misplaced his keys. He threw stuff around and criticized my housekeeping skills (not hard). He threw the bowl of catfood after he knocked it over, and blamed it on me. Now's there's catfood all over the kitchen floor, counters and on the oven, he is gone and I get to clean up. See, this is what he's like when he's not drinking. That's why I feel guilty. Sometimes I think GOD just have a beer already.
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I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
you go girl! i'm proud of ya, Pat look=a=like or not, that is some inspiring steps toward your own serenity, and even lookin out for the kiddies. congrats on the PROGRESS
much love cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
And congratulations on your progress. May be babysteps but a big way forward as well.
It's so disheartening and unbelievable when they resort to taking money around the house, and even moreso when some of it is your daughters. Well done on taking steps to make it all better.
i had one of those awful pictures too. I kept the thing just because it was so funny to watch people's faces when they looked at my ID and then at me and then back at the ID. To this day my brother will ask to see my old ID when he needs a good laugh. <rolling eyes>
Way to go girl! The girls got really good at hiding their money from dad--my son, never did, but 2 out of 3 ain't bad! I just kept a watchful eye on his.
Isn't it amazing how even doing small things for ourselves and children can make us feel so much better and empowered!
! I walked to the DMV from the bank with my headphones on and it was nice. The really awful thing was that I had to get a new ID picture and OMG!!! I have changed alot in the last three years. My other pic was very cute if I do say so myself. I made a point today of not doing my hair or make-up because I wanted to say "This is not a big deal" but I was still morbidly shocked when I saw that picture. I look just like my mother who was always worn down and frumpy
. My first thought was "I can't blame him for drinking!!" Which was, of course, tinged with humor. My cheeks are red and flushed, my double chin is sticking out, my hair is pulled back and my glasses are on! I look like Pat from SNL LOL! Anytime I want to giggle I'm going to pull out this picture. Hopefully it will inspire me to get my liscence because they take a new pic on that day and I really can't imagine pulling this god awful ID out whenever anyone asks for it!
Go jamie! See? You CAN DO IT!