The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I think for the first time in my 47 years I'm realizing it's not my job to save the world, what a relief!! All kidding aside, I am seeing that in leaving my AH I am seeing hope in my own future and excited about living a life of truth, serenity and faith. I know I have a lot of work ahead of me and it isn't going to be easy but no one will be lying to me anymore on a daily basis and for that I will be forever grateful.
An amazing way to feel!!! To realize that life can be different...you can be different....responses to situations can be different....everything! For me it has helped to think of all the new found perspective as having momentum....keep putting one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be able to roll with a little less effort.
Good luck! Keep coming back with the highs...and the lows. We all are in this together.
It is good to hear that you aren't a codependent or working in it. I have an issue of that myself. I am wondering how can a person break the habit while being married.
I feel I can't live without him sometimes and I know deep down that isn't true. I know I feel I can control or want to control what he does or says and that causes more problems than if I were to zip my lips. Thats raises another issue how does one know when to open or close your mouth and make matters worse.
Breaking away from codependency is a process, too, that is probably best achieved one day at a time; meaning, you try to stop all of the traits, but give yourself slack, we aren't perfect and old habits are hard to break.
Really, just like Aism, recognizing codependency in your self is the KEY, it is STEP 1, it is not being in denial about it. Next, we (codependents) need to start changing our behavior.
There is a very well written book, Codependent NO More, by Melody Beattie, that has wonderful insight about the subject.
with love, cj
__________________
time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
That is wonderful to hear! How amazing is it to realize the world does keep turning without our help? Let go and let God turn it! I am not that powerful today. lol
