The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Clearly a loved ones sobriety does not solve all our problems ,,,,nor does physical separation, or even death. Even those of us who have not been involved with any alcoholics for many years find that we continue to be affected by this family disease. In short, the effects of alcoholism---------- obsession, anxiety, anger, denial and feelings of guilt------tend to persist until we seek recovery for ourselves.
The drama of other people's problems can be very distracting especially when those people are alcoholics, But in Alanon we discover that the problem does not lie soley within another person,,,the problem is also within ourselves. The behaviour of an alcoholic friend, spouse, sibling, employer, or parent may have led us to Alanon , but soon we realize that our own way of thinking had become distorted. Alanon helps us to stop wasting time trying to change things over which we hav no control and to put our efforts to work where we do have some power--------- over our own lives.
All of us can certainly see what the drinking is doing to the alcoholic,,,,but can you see what it is doing to you?
Geeze they are just the destraction we need so that we don't have to work out our own bugs LOL.....it's really easy to think someone else needs more work than we do--and that we have just the answer to fix them.
This reminds me of a meeting I went to "No one can work your program for you." I'd have paid someone to do it for me if it were possible...because it just wasn't pretty facing my own faults. But you've got to own something before you can let it go, just as it is with our faults/short commings. If we don't face them, we'll never change them.
Sometimes I think that those of us who have "chosen" an A for a partner have the perfect scapegoat. There have actually been days where I was just having a bad day, yet it was easier to blame it on my A then to say I have a problem. Now, take the A away and who do I have to blame?? Pretty tough when there's no one else to look at but yourself.
We all have room for improvement, if we're willing to take our focus off our A and put it back on ourselves.
