The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Some of you will remember the past year and a half the battle I had with my daughter who was 16 and dating and "in love" with a 21 yr old on parole from prison. Then just this past December this same daughter who will be 18 this month moved out blaming me for all that trouble with that now 23 yr old Chris. I guess he and his mom have really been giving her a hard time. I know they did me!!!! They are meth users.
Anyway it broke my heart when she moved out just b4 Christmas telling me she was tired of pretending to get along with me and just didn't want to be around us anymore.
Well, she did come Christmas Eve and Christmas day. As much as it hurt I have tried to keep the communication open between us ... and give her the "dignity and responsiblity to make her choices".
I was amazed last night when she came by. She had bought 2 prs of jeans for the 14 yr old grandaughter I have now. As we visited she was talking about that 23 yr old and the fact that he is now dating another girl here in town who just turned 16. She said "I don't get it. Her parents must not care about her if they just let her go with him cause he is bad news"
I sat there looking at her .... and didn't say nuttin!!!! I could have said a lot .... especially I told ya so ....but no need!
Thought y'all might get a chuckle out of this. All the struggle and pain was worth it all doing the best I knew to protect her. I would do it all over again!!
She is still in school; and working ...paid for her college classes for this semester. Too much pride to say out loud ...mom, you were right .... but that's ok. I'm very proud of her!!!! She still has a long road ahead, but she's growing.
God does all this work in the background while we worry and fret .... and we get to see the results if we're lucky!
Sometimes the words mean nothing - the actions are the stuff that really carry the weight. That is awesome that she told you the statement about the young girl's parents not caring. That may be her way of saying "I know I had a Mom that cared about me"
So glad that you & her are able to enjoy time together - that is very special.
Thanks for sharing that with us.
Rita
__________________
No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
It isn't easy to let go and not resist when a child makes poor choices. Seems like kids will do the exact opposite of what you say just because you have said something. Thank goodness that your daughter, when flexing her own discretion, saw the truth of what your perspective was and agreed. They don't always - it's a sign of her maturity and ability to discern. Glad to hear things worked out :) Sheila
Most of you know that this daughter is actually a grandaughter I have raised since a baby, so this is definitely not my first go around. lol
And ya know, my older kids 36 down to 29, still struggle with their addictions. However, it's such a blessing and encouragement to live long enough to get to see the good results of my God.
When I got this child at 22 mo. old, I had just had brain surgery and she was my inspiration to learn to walk and talk again. What a great God we have to allow us to see the blessings; which in turn helps give us the hope and strength to continue to take the next steps in our own lives.
My prayers continue for all my older children and all your loved ones for this terrible ordeal of addiction is truly a powerful, baffling disease.
I am so very happy your daughter sees what this guy really is.. God does care and is always there..you're a great mom...Keep up the good work ...Hugs to you!
I LOVE IT! Heehee, it's sooo much fun when you hear your kids telling their kids things you have told them, too. It shows that they actually did absorb a little of what we tried to teach them! Precious moments.. Love TLC
That's awesome news! Sometimes we as parents, have to sit back and let the kids see for themselves what is right and what is wrong. I am proud to hear your daughter made the right choice. I wish my daughter would. She is with a 23 year old who is on crack and who has physically hurt her and her son. Not to mention he sexually abused my grandson. I want her to leave this man but she herself is 21 and we gave her our opinions about the relationship but we know it's up to her what she does with it.
She still has a long road ahead, but she's growing.
