The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i haven't spoken to my ex inlaws in years now. i saw my sil and mil on christmas eve but i didn't speak to them nor they to me and i was fine with that. i actually let it go and really didn't give them any thought at all which is huge progress for me. but my ex sil called the other day and left a message for me to call her back so she can get together with my kids. so, i didn't call and again just let it go. i mean first i thought of all the things i would say to tell her off and make her hurt but that was short lived and all in my head and really didn't entertain me like it used to. so, today i happened to be driving right behind a friend and when my cell rang and i didn't recognize the number i assumed it was him and answered with a cheerful hello. well wouln't you just know it's my ex sil. and i didn't recognize her voice and it took me a minute. but because of being so caught off guard i was my polite cheerful self and nothing i had planned to say came out. so, when we hung up after a brief convo about her getting together with my kids (i told her to call in the evening when my ex--her brother--is here watching the kids as he knows their evening routien better than i do) i had to stop and think. at first i was mad that i was so caught off guard that i didn't say all the mean things that i wanted to say. and then i felt like i caved about her seeing the kids and not calling for the past 3 years and blah blah blah. then i realized that hp thought i was ready for this. and i have allways said that i never ever denied any one of them access to my kids. that was their choice. i did not make a liar out of myself. when she called i did not stand in the way of her seeing them and i will not. so, hp really does know what is best.....not me!!!
Sounds like HP really help you out. I can totally relate to having talked to someone and walking away thinking, I was going to zing them -- tell them everything that I'd been holding in for years. When in fact, all that didn't matter.
You don't have to have warm fuzzy feelings for you SIL, but she did reach out -- twice. That's a wow, don't you think? Maybe she felt your peace during your Christmas visit, or your confidence in yourself? Whatever it is, this could be a good thing.
i love it when we are tricked out of a zing we are harboring in our hearts! go HP! lord knows i have so many zingy conversations in my head with my Aboyfriend and his family and friends....and when grace relieves them with out me even trying...i say thankyou! hope things went well for the kids. peace in the new year. your in recovery, fifi
A few years back my son gave me a WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?) bracelet, I rarely take it off. I can't tell you how many times that bracelet has changed my response from crabbiness to kindness.
It reminds me often that the response I was about to give is far from what the bracelet asks.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
