The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I left my Abf a few weeks ago. I had no choice, his drinking was getting worse and worse. I had to get away and have now severed all ties. He's stopped calling anyway, and stopped pretending we could be friends. I suppose we tried to remain friends so as to make the split easier. The truth is he has moved on. I didn't suit his lifestyle anymore. I was easily replaced. (I know I am bitter about this, but I am still going through the pain of it, the rejection)
He celebrates new year in the bars as ever, I'm sure this is where he is now too. I spent new years eve reading my alanaon literature and trying to make sense of it all!
I have realised that recovery is indeed a process and not an event. I feel I have been progressing for the past seven months, and I thank God for this. I am so grateful to all of the people who prayed for me. I know without this I would not be so far in my recovery. Thank you all.
I realised too this week that I am as addicted to the A as he is to the booze. Of course I have read this before but this week it finally sunk in.
I am learning to stop obsessing, to stop worrying about him, to stop allowing him to fill my every thought. I know the A doesn't spend his time obsessing about me. FACT.
Also, there have always been As in my life. My father, relationships, always someone. And all the time I obsessed about them, different people but always As. Now, in my own recovery, I can finally see. I have a problem, and I have to address it for myself. My A has his own problems of course, and he will have to deal with them without me.
This year will be sooo different.
If you are new to recovery, please know that there is strength. There is hope. I have worked so hard in 2006. I now am recovering....but I know I still have a long way to go. The process is the Miracle in Progress indeed.
