The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After our last blowout my husband made an effort not to drink (it lasted about 36 hours). What stood out for me were the other behaviors that hte alcohol covered up. We have been married for ten years and there has always been something semi-destrucive he was engulfed in. We've had issues with pornography, medications, T.V., collecting stuff, ect... When he didn't drink for a day he went right back to doing what he did before, which was file sharing. He sits at the computer all day and into the wee hours of the morning downloading music, videos, software, whatever. It drives me nuts, he hogs up the computer and doesn't do anything else. We went out a few times and he just sat at home in his underwear. When I try to "talk" about it, everything is exactly the same as with alcohol; he will either blow me off or get angry. Eventually he was sitting at the computer with a beer. I am still trying to find a meeting locally, I know there are out there, but I have a transportation issue.
Jamie
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I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
I'm sorry he is choosing to not get healthy. I wish you the courage to reach out, pick up the phone and try to call wherever they have a local meeting -- I know my sponsor had the opportunity to do a small favor and drive an older fellow to his first meeting. He didn't have a license because of his eyes, but he called to his church, which called the church we have our particular meetings, and they called the Alanon district representative, who called my sponsor, who called the gentleman, and he got there!!!! I think it would be really awesome to give that a try, or reach out to have someone else you trust give ya a ride.
brightest blessings
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
It is called "any other addictions will do". Very similar to my AHsober of 30 years. He hasn't drank in over 20 years but the way he copes is addictions. He is a dry drunk who is emotionally immature - either no emotions or anger. Over the years he has been a workaholic, computer games, procratination, TV, movies, reading, etc. One way or the other he is in a stupor or unconscious. He won't even talk to me without his eyes glazing over.
So I have to go into it prepared realizing who I am trying to interact with. I realize he is limited with our relationship. It is painful but I know now that he not the one I can go to for certain things. I take alot of my issues to f2f Alanon meetings. Keep trying to find a meeting for yourself. If not, keep posting here.
Here are some things that have helped me since in the program.
Go face to face meeting & online meeting.
post on the board here on the site. I have gotten a lot of good feed back.
· In this program u learn that u have choices. In Alanon we don’t give advice but only suggestions.
· Set support system. people do not judge. You need someone who can go for coffee on a bad day, or pick up a phone and call when in trouble. The support is what is important when you first this program.
Have a sponsor. Someone work one on one with you.
You don’t have to do this the minute u come to the program but I suggest that u do it when u can. It help.
Meeting schedule: meetings are in here and run approximately 90 minutes from: Monday-Friday, 9 am and 9 pm EST, Saturday: 10 am and 9 pm EST, Sunday: 10 am and 7 pm EST. Topics are selected by participants at meeting time. UK +5 hours, central -1 hour, mountain -2 hours, pacific -3 hours. Open chat all other times.
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.