Family

i came online last night at 2a.m (irish time) when i was at my lowest. After a really crap and emotionally draining day thanks to my ex-boyf the "A".

after a short and brief few days of chatting and trying to reconcile our differances, he had done 2 mths intense rehab and counselling, he has sworn to me that i was the one one he ever loved and the only person he ever wanted to be with..etc...yada yada yada... the usual bulls**t.

and i fell 4it, all over again........ stupid, stupid, stupid.

then yesterday...New Years EVE...he drops the bombshell that due to MY negativity he now has a new girlfriend, and no longer needs or wants me.

that was great to hear on the eve of a new year...and what i thought was a new start... how wrong and stupid could i get! how pathetic did i feel.  i sent the last 8 hrs of 2006 bawling my eyes out alone in my bedroom while all the other revellers were out celebrating a new year....

i felt so alone, and sooo sad...my heart was breaking all over again...and i cudn't stop the pain.

i switched on my computer and logged on to the chatroom...so i wud have sum1 to talk to... all the positive comments and shows of love and support helped me get to sleep... i didnt feel so alone and didnt feel so stupid for trusting an addict after our chat.

thank you..... thank you for taking the time to show me so much love and support, im sooo grateful to each and every1 of you for being a part of my online family. i slept all nite.. just a few nightmares... and i went out to lunch 2day with my mom and grandma.... small steps..right?

i need to concentrate on ME now.... if i dont..who will? im changing my cell phone number 2moro and stopping all contact once and for all. i refuse to allow myself to be hurt by him emotionally or mentally in 2007.

thank you family for showing me love is neverending ...FROM YOU ALL.

hugs rebecca xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx