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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I think my A is finally going to go to bed
Post Info TOPIC: I think my A is finally going to go to bed
hippietrippiechick


Senior Member

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Posts: 169
Date:
I think my A is finally going to go to bed
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God! what a night! Having an A in a relationship is a rollercoaster ride to Hell and back. An endless rush of good and bad emotions that leaves us feeling like we have been run over by a dumptruck, catterpillar, then steamroller, with a fresh coating of hot tar.


I know that probably didn't make sense but that is where I am at right now.


waiting it out till he finally goes to bed. I have not much of a desire to be intimate with him in any way. I sometimes don't even want him to just touch my shoulder. Irritating, and disgusting.


Oh my God, please help me hold my tongue. Earlier I got upset because he "promised" that he would never bring Whiskey into my apartment again. His drink is beer. Alcohol is alcohol, but I have a real thing about whiskey. Maybe it is my problem. I scream to have him leave, he does  not leave. I become enraged. I literally sometimes wish I could hurt him physically like he hurts me emotionally and physically(some rare times). If alcohol is alcohol, then abuse is abuse. It damages us in three levels: physically, emotionally and spiritually.


So I guess in Al-anon I will be learning about ways to let go, and let God heal me on all those three levels, right.


I am typing as I am thinking, and I am finding it to be helpful. I don't want this to be too long because I dont know how much of a limit we have on posts, but I write letters about life & stuff to my dad and my therapist and that is also helpful, however, they tend to be rather long sometimes.


I hope now that my A appears to have passed out on the bed, maybe I can have the peace I need to keep me strong enough to go on another day.


Happy new year and I hope I don't bore the junk out of all of you with everything I have been and am writing.


I write poetry and I will post a couple interesting ones I have done


Love to my ((((((((MIP))))))))) online home group!



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This is HippieTrippieChick Signing Off Be blessed and have a wonderful day. Remember God loves you. PEACE
debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3131
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hi dear, am I wrong or is this post mixed up in time? I thought he was leaving?


hugs,debilyn



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Friendofyours


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 859
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I thought she said he was leaving too. Maybe I'm mixed up. I know one thing I have learned with my ah is that you do not make threats and not follow through. If you tell him to stay away then he needs to respect that and you do not let him cross that line. I know it's really hard to follow through. If you keep allowing him back in, then you allowing him to keep hurting you. You are the only one that can put a stop to it for good. Good luck . ^i^

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hippietrippiechick


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 169
Date:
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I had to repost to my first one before, I guess maybe some didn't see it. I caved. I backed down. I was the stupid one who couldn't go thru with it. He was supposed to leave.

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This is HippieTrippieChick Signing Off Be blessed and have a wonderful day. Remember God loves you. PEACE
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