The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As many of you know, I am pretty new to alanon ... I'm really liking what I'm reading, learning and gaining from all of you - thank you. However, I am not new to alcoholism - in fact I was born into it. Now, I'm married into it. This experience is all new to my 12 year old son. My current husband is not my son's father - my son's dad has passed away. I know that my son and my husband love and adore eachother. I know that my husband wants what is best for my son, inspite of his alcoholism. My husband has made comments to my son like "Do yourself a favour and just stay away from alcohol." Anyhow, I know that all of this is causing my son so much confusion and fear as well. It was very different for me as a child - for starters, I was a much different child than my son is ... he seems so much more fragile. Maybe he just seems that way becuz I want to protect him from this. I want so badly for my son to be able to rise above all of this. I know that I will be looking into Alateen in our area and both my son and I will be returning to church starting tomorrow. Any other suggestions that any of you have would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again for listening and sharing!!
Welcome , the best way to help your son is to recover yourself and find out if there is an Alateen group in your area for him . If there isn't u can purchase alateen literature fromthe WSO website , Al-Anon home page . they have excelent books for teens written by teens and they are awsome , it helps them to focus on themselves lets them know that this is not thier fault teaches them about the disease of alcoholism and talks about respecting the Alcoholic in his life. You cn read this with him and share your opinion , good luck Louise
If your attending Al-Anon meetings for yourself u may be able to purchase books thru your meetings just ask they will tell you , or they may have a literature depot in your area where u can get your books . Alateen has 2 daily readers , again written by teens also a good book called The courage to be me.
I agree, the healthier you get, the better for your son. I would also stress talking to him about this - both the good and the bad. Ask HIM how he feels, what he needs - he may surprise you.
thank you for your posts ... very helpful! you are absolutely right, taking care of me is most important - how ironic that didn't enter my mind. At first when I realised that my husband was/is an alcoholic, I damn near lost my mind. I was frantic. How in the world could this be? I know that my panic was a contributor to my son's current fear. I have explained things to him and try to maintain open dialogue ... but I think we need more. Now becuz of your posts, I will set the time aside to discuss this issue even more fully with him. Thanks again!! The good news is that in time and prayer, J.C. really helped me gain self control. And he helps me keep it one day at a time (sometimes, moments at a time).
I think you are terrific for recognizing that this IS affecting not only you but your son, also. Much much great advice in the above posts. I wanted to emphasize what lin had mentioned, that TALKING with your son about the good, bad and ugly will be very healthy for both of ya. It could possibly be an awesomely HUGE relief for him to know that you.. that's YOU, are emotionally available for him. even if you sit in silence, him knowing you are there (in my opinion) is a great great thing. I'd bet, he will surprise ya (sounds like intelligence and common sense are in the gene pool!!!)
again, welcome and best to luck with love cj
__________________
time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
