The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The discussions on this in the past have put my mind to unrest. I realized this morning I have an "issue" with this subject. My insanity starts in the morning. Bright and early. Depending on how quick I get to my HP and an alanon attitude the better my day will be. But a revert to old thinking will bring up all the things I am currently working on letting go of or if there are a lack of things at the moment...some that I have worked on in the past.
One of those things I worked and worked and now need to work on again, is this medicine thing. I have gotten to the point of acceptance where...I accept I have to take it...but I don't like it! I don't like how it makes me feel. The cost is outrageous.
I should be grateful that the medicine is there. That someone was smart enough to figure out how to make it.
I have really thought the last few days, about my negative reaction to the meds. Deep down, Do I hate meds cause I have had perscription drug addicts before in my life. my mom. Could this be a contribution? How couldn't it be?
I have always been a believer in a good diet and trying some good old fashioned remedies. I felt doctors were pill pushers...too many antibiotics... Suggesting that maybe an herb or a better diet...How I wish... through my denial, and not taking the meds properly, trying different things ...I have had a broken foot and a concussion..Should have listened to my doctor. (like I said I have worked on this issue, pretty much kicking and screaming all the way!)..Looking back I am a member of a HMO with a drug benefit, they work at keeping costs down from what I understand they get some kind of incentive for keeping them down...Why would they push $1000.00 worth of drugs on me a month which require a blood test every 3 months?..Not to say it doesn't happen...Just wasn't in my case....
Well there is the vent...written out at least...now I can see where I can look at this problem again..and maybe in time quit saying to myself before I take the med...Time to take the poison.....One baby step at a time..hp help me....
i am going to try very carefully to word my thoughts on this issue.
one of the things that REALLY bothers me when i am ill is i feel that MY body has betrayed me.
if i catch a cold or a flue, i get really really angry and think....., " how could my body do this to me?".
i have recently come off of anti-depressants after more than four years of being treated.
my doctor has advised against this but i don't like the way they make me feel [not to mention the weight gain]
so i am trying to live without the meds.
every day i wake up and wonder when the GREAT NOTHING will take over. that's what depression is for me. NOTHING. i don't eat, don't sleep, don't care, nothing, like a walking coma.
i have been told that depression is no different than any other illness ,comparing it to diabetis.
diabetics don't produce enough insulin for their bodies, so, they take insulin to live or they will surely die.
my brain doesn't produce the serotonin it needs, so, i take anti-depressants or i could die.[ yes, my depression was that serious.
so why do i think it is okay for a diabetic to take insulin and live ,but, it is not okay for me to take serotonin replacements and live.
perhaps it is the stigma attatched to mental illness.
perhaps i am terrified to become my mother [ouch that hurt ! inventory time].
any way greta,
we need what we need.
i am not in alanon to judge or critisize or give advice.
i am here to share my experience, strength and hope.
to give myself over to my higher power and gain the WISDOM to know the diffence between what i need and what my insane brain is telling me i don't need.
so there you have it dear friend .
my personal feelings concerning the issue of medication on only one cup of coffee.[i am not sure i have been up long enough to read your post properly, let alone share. morning person.....I AM NOT]
If It's required and your advised my medical staff to use It. Go for it. I posted with regards to medication last week. I also have had a hellish week, crying, not eating, feeling so alone, depressed. So I went to my GP and ASKED to be put back on my medication. Because my life Is uncontrolable and unmanageable at the moment. I cannot cope, and although I have my programme, I am trying to work It, That Is not enough for me.
I also have medication every day and need constant blood checks for thyroid trouble. This gets me depressed, I sometime refuse to take medication when I feel like this. My HP Is offering me a way out, and by me going to the GP on my own accord Is a sign for me. Usually I would be stubborn, independant. But my moodswings are affecting more people than just Ally.
This Is a sign for me the meds need time and space to work for me.
I haven't been on the boards for almost a week and have been scrolling around reading some of the posts I have missed. This is a subject that can upset many for a variety of reasons.
Here are my thoughts. I have relatives who are doctors of various kinds and it is possible that some doctors prescribe more than they should. But truly life expectancy has gone from mid 40 to mid 70's to 80's because of some of these medicines (and of course the fact that some of us work in offices now and not at some very dangerous jobs).
I resist taking medicines whenever possible, if perscribed vicodine and advil will do, I take the advil. But there are conditions out there that medication can improve quality of life 10 fold or more. I don't think anyone should feel week or shameful for taking them.
It is never a bad question to ask if you are abusing the medication. Most people don't. I know first hand some examples that would point out abuse. Going to mulitple doctors to get simultanious perscriptions, faking symptoms, buying unused medicine from others, stealing perscription pads... But taking the recomended dosage for a condition to improve your quality of life in my opinion is taking care of yourself.
If you are concearned that you may be overdoing it, or being overperscribed... by all means talk to your doctor about it. Be honest about your concearns and I bet they will work with you. If they seem unwilling, find another doctor that seems to have your interests at heart.
Like I said that is just my opinion, I hope you have a great new year!
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Nope never worried about over use, the meds are for seizures...if I don't take em I seize...when I seize I run the risk of hurting myself...I would never take more...would love to take less...but have accepted I have to keep taking them as directed....
I know that voice within you. I've heard it many, many times in my AH. His drug of choice is alcohol. He hates taking pills. The doctor prescribed vicodin as a painkiller because of his bad feet. The pain is so intense it makes him want to gag. However he tried it, and it was working for him. What he couldn't handle was the fear that he would turn into an addict and the guilt it made him feel. He takes meds for his mental health issues, and clearly admits that without them the spinning thoughts/anxiety would come back. He use to drink to stop them. It took him quite awhile and lots of mental health counceling for him to realize how important they are. They are just as important as his AA meetings. His sponsor had a hard time making him see that just because he has one addiction, doesn't mean that he's going to end up with another. He laughed when he said that he even hates taking his blood pressure medicines.
Now I completely agree that he has one too many drugs. But the doctors are trying to find out which medicines he doesn't need. That will make him less tired and feel better. But he has accepted the fact that it's a work in progress. Today is one of those days that between his cold and his meds and spending a week with 3 very rambunctious grandchildren where he is completely spent. He has been catching up on his sleep. Here we had plans to do some shopping and spending the day together. Well he's in bed, I'm in my jammies (never got out of them) and the cat's decided the neighbors garage is not the place to be! (she got locked in Christmas Eve for 7 hours! oops! ) Ahh.... bliss.
So the day is what is what it is. He'll wake up feeling guilty that he didn't get things done. But you know what? We did. He recouped. I relaxed. And we're all just fine. Like you said baby steps my friend. Do what you have to to take care of yourself. I think, like hubby, you have more than enough common sense to know the difference between feeling like an addict and taking what is right for you. I like the fact that you try homeopathic remedies. At some point we may have to succumb to the synthetics. Do what is best for you that's all you can do. Remember taking care of you is what recovery is all about.
Love and blessings to you and your family. Happy New Year!
Live strong and healthy,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
) Ahh.... bliss. 
