The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
its 12 o clock midnight here in Ireland, wind is howling and rain lashing off the window.. im sitting in my bedroom with C.S.I Miami on in the background and a steaming mug of hot chocolate...
im just after a phonecall with my ex "A"... he had rang earlier in the day saying he was visiting another AA member who had slipped... he is off his own meds and drink with 2 mths... and i felt he wasn't ready to deal with all the crap that another "drunk" had to go thru.. however he went anyway!
i didnt speak to him all day and then when he called a while ago..he's all down and sad, half crying, all upset, he sounded dopey..i asked if he was drinking, he said NO , that was all he needed to end up back there again! he said it had been a bad idea to go to that womans aid, he wasnt ready, he said he felt like drinking when he smelled the strong scent off her! and then he told his other AA friedns he cudn't see them anymore coz he wud lose my friendship!
he's trying to blam me for stuff i have no control over.
im mad and upset and confused! and thats prob where he wants me to be.
i hung up the phone after telling him to snap out of his pity and get a good nights sleep... he said he felt alone, rejected, mad at himself for ruining everything with us when it was the only hing e had going for him.... I REFUSE TO BE A PART OF HIS SELF PITY i have enough of my own self-esteem issues to deal with!
thnaks for letting me share,,,,,,,,, i needed to vent!
Thanks for your share. I am watching the snow fall sitting by the fire. My AHsober left a few hours ago.No matter what I am talking to the disease. And he doesn't want to try. As CJ says, we need to detach. It is not ours. Enjoy your hot chocolate.
