The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
He was trying to draw me into a stupid game with the phone and it didn't work. The next day he called me and waited for the reaction from me that he hoped for - angry, yelling,etc. - so he could tell me I had a problem. Take things off him and put it on me.But I detached and did it with ease! My voice was calm and I spoke just as nice as I have been for these past weeks. It totally threw him off. I had in fact expected his call because I know how he works. So easy to see through. I know him all too well for him to get over on me that bad. Funny how A's think they are so slick. And just as I thought, when he didn't get his anticipated reaction from me, he proceded to talk to me in his usual way - about the job,his customers, etc. Just what I thought. See, when he's done something he thinks I may be on to but is not sure, he has to sniff around, test it by calling me a couple of times, coming over maybe (which he hasn't done in 4 days all of a sudden). I know his conscious is killing him. The other thing is that he clearly is not the following the program he is supposedly getting out of AA meetings but is "helping" someone else with addiction problems - encouraging them to follow the very program he doesn't. He's appearing to them and their family as being a savior. And he knows it. the A in him is still desperately seeking admiration. From anyone. Wants to be put on a pedestal. The way he's been behaving this past week is exactly what he did just before his last relapse. What a shame. I dread it if it happens but there's nothing I can do about that.....jaja
Way to go on your detachment. It's tough but so worth it. I love not feeling dragged into the negativity. And am always amazed at what I can see clearly about any situation if I am not letting myself get all out of sorts.
Do you live with him currently? Is it a husband, or boyfriend? Sounds like you are just venting, I don't see that you are asking for advise or experience, per se....
Let me know if I can help.....my boyfriend relapsed many times, and I lived with him the last 2 years......he showed signs also.
he is my husband and we have been separated for 3 mos. (did the same thing 1 year ago). Sometimes I'm angry, sad, or stressed, and come here to vent, maybe get a response if anyone has one....Have you ever gone to the movies alone? I never have but I think maybe I will just for the diversion ( I need something) - unless I can find a rich, good-looking guy to take me or otherwise provide diversion. :) ...jaja
the movies are a great place to go alone because you don't talk during the movies anyway. I often do. Plus you get to the see the movie YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE w/out being compromising.
Let us know what you saw. Lots of good movies out there now.
yours in recovery, Maria 123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
