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i grew up in an alcoholic home. denile was what our family was based on. my uncle was the drunk, died of the disease. he would be stinking drunk, falling down the stairs and my mother would look me right in the eye and say he wasn't drunk. so, when i grew up and married an alcoholic/crack addict and he said he wasn't i just believed him. when he emptied the checking account in an hour and was gone for days came home saying he had car trouble and phone trouble and no way to contact me i really wanted to believe him. but i felt stupid. so i came to alanon. to see this disease and how it affects us all so similarly and how i can recover and that i don't have to live in "the land of goofey" that the alcoholic creates. but here's the gross part. our 3 yr old has been itching her head for a week since a trip to chuck e. cheese. i have a sneaking suspition that i know why but i don't want to be right. still i look and sure enough i find lice.....eeeewwwww!!!!! i have my ex look just to confirm and share in the despair and he says no. there is nothing there. i swear you could see them, they were having a party on her head. one even waved to me! but my ex said no. so despite what i see right in front of my face i think that i must be wrong. again, i want to be wrong. but i am not so, i get in the car go to the store and get the stuff to treat her. why should she suffer because i was raised to deny reality? this is an embarrassing story but i did the right thing and learned. while i was doing this my ex sat around trying to figure out where she got it from--not that it matters at this point-- and why we should be so cursed as to have a kid with lice! lol! he was listing to me just exactly how clean we are and then went so far as to try to blame me--like i might be having sex with someone who has lice and i gave it to her. yeah, the silliesness of his rantings just made me laugh. i wounder if he explained that one to his sponser......so, i had to share the yuckiness and the stupidity and the growth all from one little case of lice....eeewwww!!!!
Ahh...I am sorry. That is horrible to have to deal with and hard to get rid of. You are right, doesn't matter where it came from, the fact is she has it. What a good mom to stand up and get it taken care of. My daughter a few years ago had lice. No matter what we did it just wouldn't go away. Didn't help with my AH at the time standing over me telling me "you just have to get it out of here!" Over and over again. Like I was the one who could say whether the lice stay or go.
Funny, tonight we were coming home from the store and that same child asked me, "Mom if you get lice will it eat you hair up?" She is 10 and doesn't even remember having it a few years ago. I do though. My mind immediately went to "Why, do you know someone who has it? Tell me child!!!" lol
Good luck crashing the party. Part of life though.
I heard that lice actually prefer clean hair, because it's harder to cling onto and lay eggs on greasy, dirty hair or dandruff (eww I know).. I live in New Zealand and schools go through epidemics of it, and it's not shameful, although it seems gross and people avoid you like you like the plague. It's kind of funny I had a big arguement with my ex, the A over 'nits' (as they call them here) because a young family member had it and so my ex decided not to take our son over to visit, but then they showed up the next day unannounced and he let them in. I was kind of surprised given how against he was having contact with her, so I said 'did you let her pick [our son] up?' and he got all offended and said 'why all the questions??' (it was only one question, and innocent). Then it got into the usual arguement of him saying 'you don't trust me with anything (because of the drinking)'.
Due to our relationship having been one of him denying and me questioning and determined to prove that he was drinking, we can't even discuss what should be minor issues, like lice, anymore. I thought it was just him and I, but I guess no one knows what goes on behind closed door with couples.
Not nearly as gross as I feared. I work in a hair salon the fear of lice is strong, we've had to send more than a few children home without a haircut because of lice. I have been so well trained that I start to itch the moment the word is mentioned LOL. Anyway I have never had it but have gotten hints from many parents on getting rid of them. If the stuff you bought does not work the first time, you may want to wash and bag things like stuffed toys, bedding, pillows etc for a period of time. I can't remember how long, I'm sure it is posted on the internet somewhere.
Isn't it astounding how problems can just go away by saying they do not exist? I remember having water leaking in the basement and mentioning that the bathrrom was leaking, my A went to look and said the bathroom is not leaking. I stood watching water drip thru the floorboards and staring at the puddle in the basement wondering if I was losing my mind
Having lice is no more a reflection on your personal cleanliness than catching a cold. Both are communicable conditions that you get from being around someone who has it...PERIOD.
There is something to be said for lice having an easier time attaching to clean hair, that is actually partially true. They have a little harder time adhering to hair that is greasy or full of styling products. Someone with clean and dry hair is a prime candidate for them cling to their hair follicles.
You can get lice from all sorts of situations that most people never think of. I personally have never had it since I take extra precautions. When you go to a movie theatre NEVER lean back in your seat, always lay your jacket over the back of it first. Never ever let your hair or head touch any UPHOLSTERED surface in public, that includes fancy restaurant chairs.
Tell your children to never try on the hats of other children, and not to do so in stores either.
It probably is a good idea to check your children for lice about once a month to see if they have any before an infestation gets really bad.
All of the bedding and towels in the household must be bleached and washed in hot water and ALL upholstered surfaces, sofas, chairs, etc. must be sprayed with the proper insecticide that you can purchase at the drugstore just for such purposes.
When my daughter was in elementary school the school nurse recruited the PTA to help her screen for lice once a month. She trained us to screen for it and also to train parents in how to get rid of it. She said that most children are re-infected since the parents don't properly get rid of it in the household. Lice can drop off of your head and live in UPHOLSTERED surfaces like sofas and chairs and people don't know that. Make sure you spray the whole sofa too...kids lay all over furniture, and sit on the floor and lean against it.
Don't let anything your husband says bother you...the school nurse told us that her daughter had contracted lice several times, LOL, it is an equal opportunity condition.
We had them at our house too - easy for the kids to bring them home from school. We needed 4 treatments before they were gone for good - my two seemed to be passing them back and forth for a bit.
If you live somewhere where it gets really cold (minus 20 C or colder), you can put all stuffed toys, pilows, etc outside in garbage bags for a few days, and that will kill them. Also putting that kind of stuff in the dryer for I think 1/2 an hour - one pillow at a time - on high heat.
I would not recommend insecticides if you have other animals.
And the A will sit back and drink a beer while criticising your actions the whole time, and not lift a finger.
I want to re-emphasize - this is not a reflection on you as a mother, or as a housekeeper. I work with kids, and you would be very surprised to see which kids bring lice in - it is often not the people you would think if you didn't know how it works. It can happen to anybody. It is just as often the clean well cared for kids as it is the dirty ones. Especially little girls with long hair.
Amazing how this disease can rob us of our sanity, and our ablilty to see what is right there in front of our face!
Don't worry about it being embarrassing. My daughter had lice on a couple occasions when she was a kid and in public school. We had a very nice/clean house (we had just built a farmhouse in the country), and were very clean people. I was soooo embarrassed because I thought people would think we were trashy or something.
You did the right thing by getting the stuff to treat her. Way to go, Serendipity!
thanks for the reassurances. i really needed it. i've run out of laundry soap. i am washing and spraying everything i can think of including the car. what a lovely way to spend our christmas vacation! but it could have been alot worse and i don't think i've laughed so hard as i have at the situation and the comments we come up with. the faces my ex makes when combing thru the kids hair....priceless. thanks again y'all for letting me know i'm not a super human freak--- just human! much love.....
I can sympathise, my boys got lice a lot as there was an infestation at school. Unfortunately after the first treatment I neglected to change the pillow cases that caused the second bout, then I got them myself, very irritated by that let me tell you as I am quite vain and love my hair a lot. I was afraid that I was going to have to have it short, which does not suit me, my face turns into a big moon shape. Once I made sure I did brushes combs, bedding and did a repeat does 10 days after, all was well though I feel confident it might happen again some day, they do like clean hair, it is no reflection on your hygiene. By the way the third bout was when my sister sent my niece and nephew over with 'lousy heads' it can make children 'feel tired and lousy' also so give the kids a tonic if you think they need it, I was very *&^%$ at the sister as she is a hairdresser, she was quite blaise about it. Thank you for your post as I too have had the bout of unreality with the ex-A. Boy could he convince me that black was white. You are not alone in this.
