The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm finding It really hard just now with things In my life. I think I have hit a rock bottom the last few days. I am crying all the time, feeling sorry for Ally. So I think the best think I can do Is spend some time with just me. Try to work through some of my Issues, I have been hiding my feelings In here for a while now. Fake it, till you make it. But It's no longer working for me.
I need to face things head on, and find out who I am, what I am. And also, I keep putting others feeling before mine, thats a habit I have. But someone said to me In here the other day. What are you doing for you Ally? Well I now understand what he meant. I am breaking my heart over a person In my life. I am going to talk to him today, and try and resolve some of my Issues. What ever the outcome, I will have pain, and I know I have to try and Let Go of this.
I was talking to a friend In here the other night, he was helping me to try and sort out some of my feelings. He said to me why don't you go Into the room and tell them how you feel Ally. WOW, I said to him, I can't do that, I'm used to being the happy one In the room. Anyway when he left I said something In the room and a roomie asked me "Do you want to share Ally".
And I did, I opened my heart to them, and I shared how i felt, I was crying my eyes out at the time, and I have not stopped since. I am starting back my work tomorrow, so that will be a distraction for me. I am also praying for guidence, and someone to help me through this.
I will miss you guys, you have become my right arm, I ask for your wisdom, and I rely on you all to straighten me out (lol). But maybe I just have to be on my own, and Listen for the answers and do what I have to do.
I will be back, so dont fret (lol). Just maybe taking a week out.
Have a wonderful New Year, I'm hoping to be back as a new Ally.
I am so sorry I didn't know about your pain. I am glad someone in here did get you thinking about taking care of you, though!
I'm going to miss you in chat, so be sure to come back real soon. It really is a source of strength and inspiration to be with the gang here, for me anyway. Especially when I'm living inside my head a little too much!
I understand, there have been times i needed a break to absorb all the emotions and figure things out before coming here to go forward again. I'll miss your posts, and look forward to your return. Take care of you.
I'm sorry for your pain. You've helped me and so many others. I'm like that, too, I seem to help others before myself. Your "acting as if" produced cheerfulness that was uplifting.
I understand your need for taking time out and I admire your courage to be honest with yourself. This too shall pass, rely on HP and you'll be stronger when you come back. Bring in the New Year safely and come back when you're ready.
((((Ally))))) I am glad you opened up to someone here when you needed to. I also hope you will keep going to your face to face alanon meetings, because that is where the real healing starts. Just remember you are not alone in any of this. Taking care of YOU is #1................Best Wishes, gardengal
You will be so very missed, but I am so happy you are thinking about you, for a change. If you need time to work on you, then you take it, my dear friend. I will be praying for you and waiting to see you when you come back. You will find your answers, Ally, just take the time to listen. I care so much about you and want you to find the peace you are so looking for.
only you know what you need - face what you can, head on; read some books, talk, go to work, go be around people, come back here when you need to get some love and esh; remember, your feelings and sadness, they can be uplifted; are you going to choose to uplift them? either way, big hugs and lots of love. you are a wonderful person, as i've experienced in your words and genuineness... you can say you've been "faking" it, but the care and tenderness you've given is not fake by any means -- now how bout applying some of that to Ally.
lots of love cj (not scottish, just like some of their jargon, so i take what i want, and.....etc)
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
Hi Ally - I'm sorry that you are in pain right now. Do whatever you need to do to take care of you and know we are here for you when you feel it is time to return.
Someone told me once, we have to feel to heal. Sometimes when we try to avoid or stuff down our pain or hurt feelings, we end up making those feelings more intense for ourselves when they finally come out. I know I do that. But pain and hurt feelings have a place in our emotional lives and can be great guides and teachers for us.
Hen you know that i love you. I will miss you but I'm glad you're doing what you need to do for you. Get to your F2F meetings. Read, read, read and know I have your back. If you want to talk you know where to find me.
Get that nut taken care of and get back here as soon as you can.
Ally, I understand what you said, and I hope some time off will help you. Come back pretty soon cuz I'll miss ya. You know, we have joked around together, but know life isn't a big joke. It helps me to lighten up and maybe sometimes I detach from everyone too much, but then smiling does take less energy than frowning. So for me it works. You are so welcome to share with us any time and I can guarantee that sharing does lift the load, helps you put your situation in perspective, and you get all those hugs too!
My nutjob, good for you for doing something for Ally. Yes I lvoe laughing with ya, you make me giggle and laughing is such a wonderful healer. But if you ever just need to vent, chat, or whatever I am a good nutjob listener.
Take the time you need to become balanced. Know that we are here for ya.
Love ya loads,
Bootsie.
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
You go girlfriend!!!!! Put you at the top of your list, list of who to take care of. We love you and will be here with open arms if/when you choose to return. I've been praying for your situation that we talked a little bit about.
Love ya, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Ally I do hope you find some serenity. If you decide to come back in a day, please do.
I have faith you will find you. I know how you feel about always being the happy one or ok one. Can tell ya from experience, that when I finally began to talk about my hard times, it was so wonderful, the support I received.
It is ok to share all sides of our feelings. Does not take from anything away from us, as it adds to it. I have shared more here about my inner feelings from A than anywhere to anyone.
I believe to share our hard as well as happy times, makes us all more human to each other and invites others to open up. I don't believe we can heal until we let all the bs out we feel from being dragged in to the pit.'
Good for you for recognising where you are at and doing this for you. You have been a fantastic support to me since coming here and now is the time to look after you.
I will definately miss you but have faith that it won't be long until we speak again.
i think i mentioned in an earlier post, i hve recently come off of anit-depressants after four years of medication.
i am really really frightened. "will i make it this time?" you have assured me.........,
it is okay if i don't. medication is not a problem, living without it, when i need it is the problem.
i don't know if it is okay to talk about this here, but the way it was explained to me is ,
"depression is like being a diabetic, our brains lose serotonin in the same way diabetics lose insulin. diabetics replace the loss of inulin with medication, and we replace our loss of serotonin with medication."
illness is illnes,
wether it is depression, diabetis, cancer, ms,...........ect.
I understand completely Ally. I am kinda going through the same thing right now. I pray you find the answers you are looking for and can't wait to see you back here.
