The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Been a while since I have been here. My hub and I bought the new house and moved in the first of November. Everything had been ok until tonight. Of course, all the things he said he was going to change never change, but I didn't expect it too. He actually started drinking more, but I was still working my program and doing good.
Like I said though, until tonight. Early before he got home from work I kept getting calls from a number I didn't know. So I answered it. It was a girl saying something was wrong and she really needed to talk with my hub. I told her that he would be home later and to call back. Still in the dark! Well, he got home and didn't want to call her. He finally did and acted like she was being crazy and hung up. I said ok what the @#$# is going on? He said he was going to get some more beer from a friends house and for me to call that number and talk with the girl. So I did. Apparently, she is the daughter of hub's best friend and my hub is sleeping with her. Whoa! What the hell??? So the girls mother comes to my house to talk with me and tells me she is sorry that this has happened and if I want to kick her daughters butt she will bring her over. LOL! What crazy people am I dealing with?? I said no thanks, I dont want to get something dirty on me that won't wash off with soap. She took me and the kids back over to her house so I could get my car that hub took off in. I had to call the cops to make him give me the keys because he said if I left he wouldn't be able to talk to me. He said that he likes this barely 18 year old with a baby, but that it probably wouldn't last so would I please calm down and let him figure things out. What an asshole!! I have figured things out for myself and my kids already. I think that Alanon has given me the confidence to do what is right for me for once. I am tired of living with an A and this takes the cake. I think this gives me the boost I need to better mine and my kids lives by leaving. I am staying at my dad's house until after the New Year and then I will look for a job and a place to live. We can't stay here long because my 3 kids and I have to share a very small cramped bedroom.
I am hurt and sad. I love my husband. However, I can think clearly enough to know that this is the very end of our marriage that was barely hanging on anyway. I don't really know all the things I am feeling right now, but I do know had this been a pre Alanon thing I would be a complete mess. I am using all the strength I have learned about myself to get through this and get my kids through this. Moving on! Merry Christmas to me!
Thank you for listening my Alanon family. I love you all!
And I thought my ex was the Mayor of Crazytown. You sound like a strong woman and I give kudos to you. I can empathise with what you are going through, and thank goodness you are able to get some perspective through some of the ideas of Al-anon, it has helped me accept some of the craziness that one can't control, too.
Sounds like it is only up and up for you. I will be thinking of you this weekend too, stay strong.
Well done for leaving that crappy situation but that house is yours as well. Don't forget to take care of business after the dust has settled. I had this situation with the 18 year old as well, they started singing duets to each other on the way home one night, he never admitted it though so I am glad your mayor of crazeytown was, it does help, otherwise its too easy to pretend it has not happened. My thoughts are with you and the children, have a good christmas, without all that emotional drama. I admire your restraint, I think I would have told Mom to bring the baby girl over, and that would not have been good. See what you can do before christmas and mind yourself.
Good for you for recognizing the "craziness" and learning to take care of yourself. Sounds like you have been dealt a huge blow but by being true to this program YOU will be survivor. Feeling your pain but seeing your strength
I'm so sorry. That's not an easy thing to deal with at anytime but especially at Christmas. " but that it probably wouldn't last"??? Good Lord!! Are you expected to stand by while he decides? You have great restraint!
I'm so glad you have Alanon to lean on. You also have all of us, all the time, anytime.
take the best care you can, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
