step one: POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL - Al-Anon Family Group

jewely · Senior Member

step one: POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL

annmarie · ~*Service Worker*~

jewely,

well said! You are making so much progress already. I'm proud of you.

yours in recovery
AM

Diva · ~*Service Worker*~

You pretty much said it Jewely. We all have different thoughts and needs as pertains to living with the spectre of alcoholism. But one thing we all share in common: We are ALL powerless against it. It took me a long time to accept that, and to this day, sometimes I actually think I have the power to change him. LOL!! You got your little duckies all lined up Jewely. Now take care of you. Diva

gardengal · ~*Service Worker*~

I cannot tell you how many times I have silently said "step one",,,then cried "step one",,, then Yelled "step one". That and the serenity prayer! Repetition for me was the only way I could make it stick. Perhaps I would say it once a day or even 100 times a day before it actually clicked, and before I responded to how I would like to react, I would recite that step before jumping in to create chaos. You are on your way girl....keep coming back,,,,,,it works if you work it and YOU are worth it!

Cindy · Member

WOW, that is one of the best ways I've ever heard it put. Thanks for the insight, Cindy

jewely · Senior Member

i just got home.

it is 10:30 p.m.

i've been gone since 7:30 this morning,

and,

he is not here.

i knew he was going out for the day.

and,

in my heart,

i knew he wouldn't be back tonight.

when i was driving home tonight,

the mounting dreadfulls hit me again.

geesh,

i know the steps,

i've done the steps,

i try to live the steps,

slogans,,

serenity prayer,

meetings.

there is a sick feeling in the pit of my stomache,

and,

i realize.........,

in a way,

i am an addict.

addicted to old ways, old habits, old methods of coping.

agian,

i remember,

STEP ONE,

powerless over alcohol [and its effects on me].

the only way i can over come the anxiety of the old way of being is to work the program,

until it becomes as much a part of me as these terrible, horrifying feelings,

i cannot seem to control on my own.

i admit my life has become unmanagable,

and,

i am looking forward to the day my stomach belongs back to me,

and not to the grip of fear.

thank you so much for being here for me.

an empty house in the dark of night,

filled only with the imaginings of my own fear.........,

yes,

miracles in progress,

because of you,

i will sleep tonight .

many blessings from a grateful friend in alanon

jewely

jewely · Senior Member

thank you so much for your reply.

i haven't quite got this online system under control yet.

if you hear from me twice.......,

well,

i guess you hear from me twice.

i want to let you know what a difference it made in my day knowing that i had this network of friends to come home to.

just reading the postings gives me a sence of peace and serenity i haven't felt for a looooooooong time.

things didn't look so bad today.

i didn't feel the need to critisize.

oh!

except for this morning when i told my twenty one year old daughter she was wearing to much mascara.

of course.

i told her she was beautiful enough with out it ,

but,

that isn't what she wanted to hear.

she just wanted to wear her make up her way.

i called her at work about an hour later and apologized.

when she got home from work,

we went out for dinner,

and

talked about the sad condition of the very drunk man sitting at the table next to us.

i said,

"you know, we are the only two in here that seem to be affected by the behavior of that poor, pathetic drunk man.

he is gone and we are still talking about him.

i know i belong in alanon."

and,

she agreed.

SHE AGREED with me about something.

wow!

as i think about that time together,

the fear of my husband drinking and possibly driving is starting to subside.

ohhh the beauty of the program.

sometimes i don't feel the need to work the program as much as i need to let to let the program work me.

thanks and blessings,

jewely

maresie2 · ~*Service Worker*~

One reason I keep it one day at a time is because life with an active A is a tightrope. One day at a time I can do it. If I go more than that sometimes it is tough going. November was a dreadful month for me.

I am trying to make December a better one. I am also just holding on till the holidays end.

I feel for you. I also know working the program helps me enormously. Suddenly out of nowhere I find myself detaching and not over reacting all the time.

I never thought that would be possible for me.

Maresie.

jewely · Senior Member

thank you maresie,

i am grateflul for people like you who take the time to reply to my postings.

it is 6:30 a.m. here in alberta canada,

and i cannot think of of better way to start my day than by reading your email.

blessings,

jewely

Karilynn · ~*Service Worker*~

((((((((((Jewely))))))))))),

Many a time I have gone back to step 1. That first realization is the key not only to their recovery, but to ours as well. I still go back to step 1 eventhough hubby is sober. It keeps me humble and on track. It also reminds me that while I am powerless over this disease, I am not powerless over my recovery. Then I move foward. Good for you.

Love and blessings to you.

Live strong,

Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

jewely · Senior Member

thank you, thank you, thank you karilynn,

my day will be better because of your sharing with me.

i am not powerless over my recovery,

and,

i am grateful to people like you who continue to share your EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH and HOPE with me.

blessings,

jewely

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