The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Keep on pondering, and suddenly the flower of mind will bloom with enlightenment, illuminating the whole universe.
This can be called getting it in the mind, responding to it in action. Thereupon you can turn the earth into gold and churn the rivers into cream. Wouldn't that make life exhilarating?
Sometimes I read on the board that people have left al anon, and then comeback. A crisis has ensued. The pain has become too great. Something has rekindled the pain that brought them in the first time. And it's like "Oh yeah...I remember what to do...go back to Al Anon!"
Speaking for myself, if I am working the steps, doing service work, talking with my sponsor, and daily searching for god's will and asking for the courage to carry that out (fully understanding that God will never give me the energy, courage or desire to carry out anything hurtful, hateful, malicious, or spiteful, because, at least in my experience, god is love) there has never been an occasion where I have found that I didn't need al anon. There has been more revealed. There has been new "crises," new "dramas," new "bumps." There's always something going on within myslef that requires my attention and my surredering it to my higher power.
I also see within myself that the more I work the program, the more I surrender myself to the solutions the program offers, the more open I become to what I learn in the program, the emotional baggage I brought in with me coming in falls away. I feel less ashamed of myself; I am able to own my side of the street, and not have to take on yours to feel a sense of self worth; I can also attend to my own needs and not feel as if I'm being "a selfish, spoiled brat!" (my mother's words, not mine).
So, having said this, what keeps you humble enough to realize that you still need this program? What allows you to understand that this is a program of desire, not necessity--and that complacency in working one's program can create a necessity to come back to Al Anon?
I think what keeps me humble is realizing I have a hard time living life on lifes terms. I know my problems extend far beyond the A.
I am willing to work on myself because I know when I haven't been in the past the same themse come up. My biggest theme is abandonment and right now I am working on not abandoning myself.
Thanks Tiger, makes me think. For me it is evolving ie the reason I am in Alanon. At first, it was because I am married to an AHsober. The more I learn the more I realize that this is the parenting that I missed. How to be a decent human being. Don't get me wrong my parents did the best they could and taught me alot. However, that inner conflict and lack of peace of mind has haunted me all my life. I am growing up inside with the help of Alanon. I am slowly seeing the benefit of this program for myself.
